Caregivers’ Devotions to Go

Caring for Yourself as You Care for Others

Gigi Devine Murfitt

All rights reserved.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other – except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Scripture quotations, as indicated by (NIV), are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ® NIV.  Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.  Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.  All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations, as indicated (NKJV), are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.  Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

Copyright Gigi Devine Murfitt, 2012

All Rights Reserved

Published by See Media, Inc.

Carson City, NV

Table of Contents

Overview

Dedication

I Love Tulips and Windmills

Lost and Found

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Remember the Good Old Days

Did I Sign Up For This?

Guardian Angel

Caring Neighbors

Content in All Circumstances

The Dance

Trials and Tribulation – Double Trouble

Precious in His Sight

I Need My Na-Na

The T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E of You

His Strength is Perfect

A Tribute to the Challenger Blue Jays

Rest for the Weary

The Touch of a Mother’s Hand

Be Still – I’m God

He Heals Broken Hearts

Deep Waters

Trust the Caregiver

Refuge in Times of Trouble

Write It Down

Her Gray Haired Crown

Words as Sweet as Honey

The Least of These

For the Love of Annie

Caring Teachers

Family Love

Strength for the Journey

Conclusion

Submissions Wanted

Overview

A caregiver’s job can be an extremely rewarding experience.  It also comes with worries, guilt and sometimes tears.  Whether you take care of a family member or work as a professional caregiver, life moves quickly and your days can be stressful.  Finding time to rejuvenate your weary soul may be difficult.

Caregivers Devotions to Go is a wonderful tool to carry with you wherever you go.  Keep it in your briefcase, diaper bag or purse and you’ll have a tool to give you a lift.  This daily devotional helps you gain wisdom from the stories connecting every day life with the activity of God.  It refreshes and renews your spirit.

Feeling discouraged raising your children?  The stories written from a mother’s heart make you smile.  You’ll realize you are not alone.

Is stress robbing joy out of your job as a caregiver?  Are you a worn out volunteer?  This book brings you peace.

For the caregiver, the daily readings shine a light of new perspective on a sometimes difficult situation.  Each devotional begins with a Bible verse and contains a remarkable story that ends with a closing prayer.  Activity ideas for each day can be used to share the information with others or to apply the universal truth to your own life.

These devotional stories are written from my heart as I have worn many caregiver hats.  As a young girl, I pitched in to help my widowed and disabled mother as she cared for her ten children.  Eventually dementia stole mom’s memory and I helped coordinate her personal care.

Another way I became experienced as a caregiver was with the monumental life changing event of having a son with special needs.  Stories developed in the challenges of raising Gabe.  Gabe was born with severe birth defects resulting in limited use of his three-inch arms, his small crooked legs and a severe hearing loss.  Having to be his arms and legs was not easy but God helped me one day at a time.

My prayer for you is that your tank is filled by these stories, that you discover how God works all things together for good and that He restores joy and hope to your life.  Let God give you a gentle hug in the middle of your circumstances and give you the energy and grace to carry on with a servant’s heart.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NKJV)

Dedication

These devotions are drawn from a well of stories from my life.  There are so many more stories to tell but I’ve chosen thirty for this, my first book.  I hope each devotional touches you in some way and remind you that God is with you. God has a plan and it is good.   I love to tell the stories and show how He has always been faithful.  I give all the glory to Him for this book.

I am thankful for my husband Steven who has been a part of my story for over thirty years.  He prays for me every morning.  He is my best friend.  I know I would never have published this book if not for his support.  I love walking side by side as we follow the path God has made for us.

Together we’ve been caregivers for our two sons, Zane and Gabe.  Both are incredible young men who make us proud.  You’ll meet them in a few of the devotions written here.  As I write this dedication we are counting the days to a wedding uniting our son Zane with Kelsey Ryan.  Although I never had a daughter, God is giving me an amazing daughter-in-law.  I know as I continue to write, she will be woven into the fabric of our lives and her story will be told.

I’d like to thank my Northwest Christian Writer’s Association critique group.  Sarah, Kathy, Francis, Cornell, Lesley and Lynnette gave me wonderful feedback on my stories.

My friend Cheryl Perez is my editor extraordinaire.  In answering her questions, my story comes alive.  Even though she is partially sighted and considered legally blind, she devotes much time to helping me be a better writer.  She encourages me and blesses my life.

Karen Lynn Maher has become a wonderful editor and writing coach.  I appreciate her encouragement and wisdom as she critiques my writing.

As a student of the Christian Writer’s Guild, I’m thankful for my mentor, Norm Rohrer who is my biggest cheerleader.  Thanks Norm.  I truly appreciate you.

A few of the stories in this devotional book were written by my big sister, Kathy Goodheart.  I’ve learned much from her and together we’ve walked along the road to finding the heart of God.  Kathy was the primary caregiver for our mother for over seven years and all of us are grateful.

Several stories are about my parents, Bob and Helen Devine.  I miss them very much.  I can just see my Mom up in heaven, red pen in hand, ready to edit my work.  I thank her for giving me the desire to write.  The faith my dad instilled in me runs deep.

The Murfitt and Devine clans are a part of who I am.  I am blessed to have a huge extended family supporting me.  I wish I could list each name but that would take up a whole chapter of this book.

My home fellowship group has been a life line for me for many years.  Several times a month we gather to pray for one another.  Our best friends Marty and Jeanne Nystrom are great encouragers and have cheered me along in this writing adventure.  Thank you to Marlene and Bill Brubaker who are like second parents to me.

I am forever grateful to my intercessor extraordinaire, Karen Bartsch.  Thank you Miss Karen for holding me accountable and challenging me to seek God’s best in my life.  You are a gift to me and my family.

Pastor Jerry Cook led me to a deeper relationship with the Lord on a summer day in 1992 when I was desperately seeking answers to life’s difficult questions.  He preached a sermon that lit a fire in my heart and suddenly hope shined on the horizon.  I was privileged to study under Pastor Jerry in my three years of completing the curriculum for Seattle Ministry Institute.  He taught me how to love, accept and forgive which has made me a better caregiver.

Jean Ann Duckworth has been a wonderful publisher to work with.  I’ve learned a great deal from her as she answers my many questions.  I am honored to be considered “The Caring Diva” as I join the fun group of authors published by Extreme Diva Media.  Thank you for believing in me and giving me this chance to publish my first book.  Your genuine desire to change lives shows through in your life.

I hope and pray that this book will bless each of you. I encourage you to keep a journal as you read through the stories.  Extreme Diva Media has some darling pocket sized journals that work perfectly as a companion to this book.

I thank God for you.  I pray you feel his loving touch in each story.  Without His forgiveness, mercy and grace I don’t know where I’d be today.  The daily guidance I get from reading the Bible has become so natural to me it’s like breathing.  I hope these thirty stories draw you to the most amazing story ever as found in the Bible.  Dig deep and find joy.

I pray God’s grace and peace you.  God bless your heart.

I Love Tulips and Windmills

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Psalm 119:18

I walked around in a fog in the weeks after our son Gabriel was born.  The shock of his disability made it difficult to focus on anything but our blurry future.  Some days I felt as if I’d arrived in a distant land where the words of the physicians sounded like a foreign language.  I felt alone and afraid.  I could not see clearly through my tears of fear.  Then a friend reached out and sent a card and a story that opened my eyes.  It helped me see our situation with a fresh perspective.

The story was shared by the advice columnist, Ann Landers.  It was a reprint of a beautifully written article by Emily Perl Kingsley, a mother of a son with a disability.  These words helped me understand that I was not alone.  Yes, I had arrived at a different place than I had planned, but God soon opened my eyes to the beauty of my new surroundings.  Here are the words that spoke volumes to my heart, thanks to a caring friend.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

This story had a significant impact on the way I viewed my future as a mother of a son with a disability.  Now, many years later, I’ve discovered that I’m really glad I ended up in my own “Holland”.  It was there I learned to love tulips and windmills.

Prayer:  Dear Lord Jesus, open my eyes to see my life with Your perspective.  Thank You for caring friends who help us to change our perspective.  Thank You for your Word that guides us in everything.  Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.  In Jesus name we pray.  Amen.

Activity Ideas

Think of someone in your life in need of a change of perspective.  Write them a note and include a copy of this beautifully written story by Emily Perl Kingsley.  It will add extra meaning if you include a bouquet of tulips or some other unique gift.

Ask God to show you His perspective on an area of your life.  Over the next week, continue to focus on your situation through His eyes.

Spend the next several days looking for the extraordinary things in an ordinary day.  At the end of the day, write down these things in your journal.

Lost and Found

So He spoke this parable to them, saying: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’

Luke 15:3-6

Mothers automatically fall into the caregiver role. And in that role our worse nightmare is to lose a child.

I remember a beautiful September day in 1991 when my brother Bob and I took our nieces and my two boys, Zane and Gabe, to the Puyallup fair.  We walked from one area of the fairgrounds in the heat of the day on our way for lunch at the food court.  We stopped when the bell rang and a crossing gate came down while the train carrying smiling passengers passed by.  I glanced around to count my sheep.  Zane was no where in sight.  I realized my brother made it across the tracks before the train and I assumed Zane was with him.  Panic struck.

I rushed up to Bob and asked, “Where is Zane?”

“I thought he was with you.” He replied with a furrowed brow.

We quickly moved to action as I asked,  “Sheena, honey will you stay here with the stroller and watch to see if Zane comes back?  Hey Brooke, can you stand here with your sister and look after Gabe?”  They girls nodded in agreement.  Gabe was sound asleep in the stroller.

Bob and I split up and headed in search of our lost boy.  I asked every person in my path.  “Have you seen my son?  He’s four years old, about this tall with reddish hair and blue eyes.  He’s wearing a Philadelphia Eagle baseball hat.”

No one had seen him.  Finally a nice woman told me about the lost child station located across the fairgrounds.

I met up with Bob and asked him to go back to where Sheena and Brooke waited.  While I was freaking out I followed the yellow painted footprints leading to the lost children’s center.  Every step I took matched the quick pace of my pounding heart.  Tears welled up as I prayed, “Please God, help me find my son.”

Running up to the window, I spotted Zane.  In that moment, like a clap of thunder, joy burst in my heart at the same time a wave of nausea caused my stomach to do a somersault.  Zane leapt up off his seat and started running toward me as fast as I ran toward him.  As we met I scooped him up and lifted him up off the ground hugging him as tight as I possibly could without taking his breath away.  Then the tears came out like a flood.

Whimpering, Zane said, “Mommy, I was so scared.  When the train came I couldn’t see you.  Where did you go? A nice man took me here.  What took you so long to find me?”

“Oh Buddy.  I’m so glad we found you.  We looked everywhere.  I would have searched all the way to the moon for you.  I’m so sorry you got lost.”  Breaking into a smile I said “Let’s go tell everyone you are safe.”

Holding hands, we ran back to greet the others who jumped up and down when they spotted us.

Zane exclaimed.  “I was lost.  But Mom found me.  I’ll never get lost again.”

With a deep sigh and a thankful heart I said “AMEN to that”!

Prayer:  Father, I find great comfort in knowing you care about my life.  Thank you for searching for me until you found me.  Please keep those in my care safe in your embrace.  Help me care about others as much as You care about them.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Activity Ideas

Make a date with someone in your care.  No matter what age, they enjoy playing games.  For the younger children, hide your eyes and count to ten while they hide in the house or yard.  When the time is up yell “I know you are lost!  But I’ll find you!”  As you find each child, celebrate with them.  Afterward, take time to let them tell stories about a time when they were lost and how they were found.  We all need to know that no matter where we go God is looking for us.

If you are a caregiver for an older person, set up a table and help them put a puzzle together.  Discuss a time when they were lost as you help them find the right pieces for the puzzle.

During both activities, converse about how Jesus will search until He finds us, just like he did the lost sheep in this parable from the Bible.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret…Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

We arrived to pick Dianne and her girls up for the tulip festival to join the rest of the family for this outing.  After I set Gabe’s car seat down I was surprised when Dianne suddenly greeted me with a tight hug.  It was six days after Gabe was born.  She knew the ache in my heart.

Dianne’s eight year old daughter Kellie came in and asked cheerfully, “Can I please hold Gabe?” trying to grab the privilege of holding him before her sister stole it away.

Kellie and her sister Jaimie ran to the couch and waited.  I pulled the blanket open; exposing Gabe’s severely deformed arms as I laid him on Kellie’s lap.

I expected the girls to gasp; but they didn’t.

Jaimie said through her smile, “He has such long eye lashes.  And his eyes are so blue.”

While they fussed over Gabe, Dianne pulled me aside.  “This has been a difficult week.  We’ve been praying for you and Steve since we heard your news.”  She handed me an envelope.  “Read this when you get home.  We will continue to pray for you.”

The whole way home I wondered what was in that letter.  Exhausted, I sat alone in my rocking chair and with curiosity I opened it.  Little did I know this letter would change my life.

The letter read…

Dear precious Gabriel…

Welcome to our world, little one.  I have the privilege of meeting you today! ~ but I feel as though I already know you ~ for I’ve talked of you many, many times in the few days you’ve been with us…mostly with The Mighty One who made us ~ and granted us life.  You surprised us, Gabriel!  And yes, our hearts ache for you when we try to imagine walking through this life in your shoes.  But your Creator is not surprised ~ for “He created your inmost being; He knit you together in your mother’s womb.  You can praise Him because you are fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful ~ I know that full well.  Your frame was not hidden from Him when you were made in the secret place. When you were woven together in the depths of the earth, His eyes saw your unformed body.  All the days for you were written in His book before one of them came to be…” (Psalm 139:13-16 NIV)

And, Gabriel ~ do you know what I discovered?  Your name has a most special meaning!  It is “Man of God”.  Listen to the verse from His Word that was chosen for your name…

“Thy hands have made and prepared me; give me understanding, that I may learn Thy commandments.” (Psalm 119:73)

Somehow, Gabriel, I think you have only begun to surprise us.  My prayer for you, precious one, is that we will watch the man of God in you begin to sparkle and grow ~ and that soon we will all see you the way your Heavenly Father does today...holding in your tiny hands the gift of an opportunity to receive daily the wonder of His grace and mercy to overcome what many would call impossible obstacles.

May you learn to know Him early ~ receive Him with joy and know Him well, Gabriel.  And may your life demonstrate His power to so many more ~ whose need for Him may be well hidden behind bodies that work as they should.  Remind us all how much we need Him, Gabriel, for we are all handicapped without Him.  Pots of clay, as it were ~ easily broken.  But if filled with the Lord who made us ~ oh, the sweetness that is poured out to those around!

You have already taught me much, dear Gabriel.  My “whys” I have given to the One who replies, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I’ll be praying for you ~ because I trust Him.

Much love, Dianne

**********

I felt as if God signed the letter himself.  He used Dianne’s pen to apply healing balm to my broken and wondering heart.  My son Gabriel had severe birth defects but now I understood he was fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God.  I knew then that Gabe was not a mistake as my mother’s fears spoke.  I knew he was designed especially by God in love.  Oh how I needed to hear this truth!

Again, the power of his all knowing, all powerful love brings tears of understanding to my heart, simply knowing that He understands my heart.

Prayer:  Lord God, Thank you for the gift of friends who come along side us in times of trouble.  You used Dianne to help me see Gabriel through your eyes.  May every person reading this find an understanding of Your love for them and Your acceptance of each one of us.  Thank You for this gift of hope.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Activity Ideas

Gather some paper and a pen.  Make a list of people in your life in need of an encouraging word.  Do they need to know they are wonderfully made?  Is it your Starbucks barista?  Your boss?  Your next door neighbor?  Take some time to jot them a note. Its surprising how one encouraging note can change a life.

If you know an individual or family dealing with the challenges of a disability our nonprofit organization, Gabriel’s Foundation of HOPE, sends notes and cards to individuals and families in the disability community.  It is our way of passing on the hope that Dianne Bratz gave us when our son Gabriel was born.  Order a card for a friend at www.GabesHope.org

Remember the Good Old Days

“Remember the days of old, Consider the years of many generations, Ask your father, and he will show you; your elders, and they will tell you”

Deuteronomy 32:7

As caregivers it’s easy to let the day to day grind consume all your time and energy.  What I learned from my mother is that you have to take the time to write about the joyous moments in your life that tend to be overwhelmed by the negative and the routine.  Write it down, not only to enjoy in the moment but knowing it will become a gift to others after you.

I have kept a journal for over thirty-five years.  As a teenager, my Mom also kept a five year diary.  This precious book with Mom’s hand written entries will bless the generations to come.  It is a brown leather "Zodiac" five year diary that smells of cedar.  The gold lock still works after more than seventy years.   The binding on the inside is broken but the yellowed pages are intact.  Inside the cover, the story begins with a love letter of apology to my mom.

The journal was a gift from her friend Pinky who pulled her out from under a crushing steel wall that pinned her to the floor in an accident at school.  It was Mom’s senior year of high school.  Pinky wrote:

“Helen, I just want to tell you no one felt so bad as I did the day I picked you up in the auditorium.  Kid, that hurt me to think that you had to get hurt.  I hadn’t spoken to you for—oh I don’t know, but it sure seemed a long time, Helen.  Here I was in love with a girl and trying to kid myself about it and not talking.  But you fixed me.  Helen, of all the girls I went with there were lots of others I thought I liked.  But when I picked you up that day; boy that fixed me.”

Oh! What precious words from a teenage boy.  It gave me a window into Mom’s young love life.  I found this diary in her cedar chest several years ago after we moved her to a nursing home.

It had been over seventy years since her accident.  But the words she wrote on each diary page brought the memories to life.  She had no doubt she would walk again when doctors gave her little hope.  The miracle of her recovery is written in short sweet sentences.

A few years ago, I read her some of the entries as she sat in her chair at the nursing home.  The sparkle returned to her eyes when I read the part about a date with Pinky or when she admitted having a crush on Joe.  Or how she recorded having fun at the Devine house.  She said “Did I really write that?”

Her written words were a doorway to the memories hidden by severe dementia.  Mom died in October of 2007.  More so than ever, the stories told in this diary have become a treasure to all of us.

In this diary covering 1936 to 1941, she recorded events that help us remember the good old days.  These things teach our children to hope – even in difficult times.

An accident that nearly took her life and left her paralyzed and in recovery for almost a year.  She records taking her first steps even though she was told she may never walk again.  It inspires hope for healing.

The miracle of an experimental surgery restoring strength to her spine by fusing her shin bone to the crushed vertebrae.

The kindness of nurses and doctors who cared for her during her long hospital stay.

The beauty of friendships.  She kept track of the many cards she received from caring friends while she recovered hundreds of miles from home.

The typical teenage issues of love and romance, choosing prom dresses and fur coats and deciding on a college.

The endearing relationship Mom had with her father and how he surprised her after a three day train ride to be with her at the Mayo Clinic.

The sacrifice Nana and Grandpa and Uncle Jim and Uncle Jack made because their lives shifted during Mom’s long recovery.

Mom’s devotion to her faith.

This journal ends on December 31, 1941. She records going to a party at Bob Devine’s house.  She wrote, “Oh what a party.  We played games, laughed, danced and had a barrel of fun.”  Seven years later she married Bob Devine (my dad) and together they had ten children.

These events have inspired our family to carry on through hard times.  Mom taught us about perseverance and thankfulness.  I’m grateful she wrote it down so we can use it to encourage generations to come.  As caregivers perseverance and thankfulness are qualities that will help us endure.

Prayer:  Dear Father.  Thank you for this day.  Help me to remember the wonderful days you give me.  Remind me to write down the events of my life so I can share the memories with my children and grandchildren.  Let me see each day as a good day because You are with me.  In Jesus name.  Amen.

Activity Ideas

Buy an inexpensive composition notebook or calendar and decorate it with photos.  It doesn’t take much time to jot a few sentences about your day.  Sometimes, I use a daily calendar with a three inch square space for each entry.  Recording the events of yesterday is one of the first things I do in the morning.  I also write thank you notes to God on the pages of my journal.  I highly recommend it.  Your children and grand children will appreciate it when they can get a glimpse of your life penned in your own handwriting.

If you are the caregiver for an elderly person, use photos to jog their memory and write down the story they tell as they look at the pictures.   Ask them to tell you about their first love or first job or first pet.  You might be surprised what they remember.

Do you have young children in day care or preschool?  Send a notebook with them to school and ask the teacher to write a few sentences summarizing each day.  My son loves to read the notes recorded by his day care teachers many years ago.

Did I Sign Up For This?

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24

One of my caregiver roles was as a volunteer in the five year old room at my church.  The value of care giving is often a thankless job.  Sometimes we do get a crumb of a compliment but this is not enough to sustain us.  Our sustenance comes from the Word of God.  Be encouraged from His Word.

My legs were tired from marching around singing ten rounds of “Father Abraham”.  We were short handed and the church service was about to end.  In ten short minutes I’d have a line of parents picking up their precious hungry children.  At the moment I wasn’t thinking they were quite so precious.  I’d lost control of my little darlings.

“Has anyone seen Brooke?”  I stood in front of the class of thirty-nine rowdy five year olds.  No answer.  I clapped five times.  When they didn’t respond I flicked the lights off and on.  They slowed to a jog.  I clapped five times.  Finally, as if they grew angels’ wings, they sat quietly on the floor.  Whew.

My heart was thumping like a herd of elephants because after they settled down, I silently counted the rows of boys and girls.

Thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven.  Hmmm.  Two missing.  Sarah must be somewhere with Brooke.  This is not what I need today.  Help me find them Lord.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time I’d lost one of the pastor’s children.

I used my joyful voice.  “Okay everybody.  It’s almost time to go home.  Did any of you see Brooke leave?”

“No Miss Gigi”.  April suggested Brooke had gone to the drinking fountain.

Five raised hands with anxious voices asking, “Can I get a drink?  Can I get a drink?”

“Okay!  Everybody!  Let’s settle down.  You can get a drink when your parents pick you up.  Please grab your project and sit down crisscross apple sauce.”

Dan, the other teacher, walked down the hall but returned without Brooke or Sarah.

I knew I had a bit of time to try to find her because the pastor’s children were usually the last to be picked up.

I greeted each parent and ushered their child to the door.  The smile on my face covered up my anxious heart.

Did I really sign up for this?  What was I thinking?  This is the third time I’ve lost Brooke.  I’m sure Pastor Mark is going to ask me to resign.  I’m not sure I was cut out for this.

As the last of the parents left, Pastor Mark arrived.  I was nearly in tears telling him I’d lost her again.  Then I heard a giggle coming from behind a stack of tables in the corner.  Two beautiful curly headed girls came prancing out from under the last table.

“Hi Daddy!”  Brooke ran to her father and wrapped her arms around his legs.

I was so frustrated I could barely speak.  “What’s wrong, Gigi?  Is everything okay?”

“She did it again, Pastor Mark.  I’ve not been able to find the girls for the past ten minutes because they were hiding.”  Tears finally fell from my exhausted eyes.  “I don’t think I’m really cut out for this job.”  I turned to straighten out the tables in the room.

Pastor Mark frowned.  “Brooke and Sarah, I want you to apologize to Miss Gigi.”

“Sorry, Miss Gigi”.  The girls spoke in unison.

“I forgive you.  But please don’t do that to me again, okay?”

“Okay, we won’t” replied Sarah.  “Me either” chimed Brooke.

After reassuring me I was doing a great job, Pastor Mark left.

I collapsed on the chair asking God to remind me why I volunteered for this class.  I didn’t hear an audible voice but there was a reassurance that I had done my job as unto God and that He was pleased with my servant heart.

I turned out the lights and locked the door.  His Word was enough to give me the strength to go back again.  I was actually looking forward to the next Sunday!

Prayer:  Oh Jesus.  You love every person we serve.  You especially love the little children.  Help me serve as if I’m doing it for You.  Teach me your servant’s attitude.  Forgive me Lord when I serve with a selfish heart because I want to love others like You love them.  Help me to be more like You.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Activity Ideas

Take time to volunteer at a nearby senior living center or nursing home.  The residents enjoy a break in their lonely day.  Bring a stack of magazines you’ve already read and leave them for their enjoyment.  Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.

Find a ministry to homeless street kids who might need clean socks or a jacket to wear since they used their last one as a pillow as the slept under the overpass.

Volunteer to fulfill whatever needs they may have.

Volunteering in the class room is a rewarding experience because you get to bless hundreds of lives.  For some of these children, you are a breath of fresh air to a difficult life.  God really does give you the strength you need to accomplish His good works.  Check with the children’s pastor at your church or the PTA chair at the local elementary.  I’m sure they’d appreciate your help.

Guardian Angel

If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the LORD, who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

Psalm 91: 9-12

Tuesday was my usual day to visit Mom at her assisted living apartment.  With seven of her children living nearby, she had a visitor almost every day.  I enjoyed our time in her tiny room.  We usually watched the popular television game show, Wheel of Fortune™ or enjoyed watching a Seattle Mariner game.

This particular night I talked her into going out to a movie.  Dementia had brought much confusion to her mind and going out was often difficult.  She enjoyed a good chick flick or comedy every once in awhile.

We watched Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal in Analyze This.  It brought some joy to an otherwise anxious week.  Mom didn’t like walking in a crowd because she was unsure of her footing.  After the movie, we waited until the theater emptied.  I retrieved her walker and followed slowly as she trekked up the theater ramp.

It was pouring rain outside the theater.  There were several boys skateboarding on the sidewalk but the area was otherwise cleared out.  Mom waited under cover while I went to get the truck.

I pulled up to the curb and ran over to Mom with an umbrella.

“Where is the car?  Is that your car?  When did you get a truck?  Is the rain ruining my perm? Will they lock me out of my place? What time is it?  Are they mad because it is so late?  Did I pay my bills? Am I in trouble? Where is your car?  Are you sure this is your car?”

The incessant questions kept coming as we slowly inched our way to the truck.

“Mom, this is Steve’s truck.  Hold on to the handle on the dashboard and use it to pull yourself while I boost you up.”

I set the umbrella down and tried to hoist her into the oversized truck.  Her arms and legs were weak and she couldn’t pull herself up enough to get onto the seat.

“Mom, you have to pull yourself.  I can’t lift you.”

“I can’t Gigi.  You have to lift me.” She cried.

I strained once more but her dead weight was too much for me to handle.  She started to cry.  I felt helpless and abandoned in the empty parking lot.

“Let’s try one more time, Mom.  You can do it.  You pull and I’ll push.  One.  Two.  Three.”  Not even a budge.  By then we were soaked by the rain.

Oh Lord, please send me some help.

Out of nowhere a petite woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hi.  Is this your grandmother?”

“No, it’s my mom.  I can’t seem to get her into the truck.”

“I’m a nurse.  Why don’t you step aside so I can help?”

This tiny woman put her arm under mom’s limp legs and hoisted her in the truck like a farmer chucking a bale of hay.

“There you go honey.  Have a good night.”  She closed the door.

“Thank you.  I really appreciate your help.”

“It was my pleasure.  God bless you.  Have a great night.”

I turned to fold mom’s walker and set it in the back seat.  As I hopped into the driver’s seat I looked for the woman.  She disappeared out of sight.  There was not another car in the lot.  I leaned over to buckle mom’s seat belt.

Mom looked at me with a sweet smile and said, “I think that was a visit from my guardian angel.  What do you think?”

“Yes Mom, I think you are right.  She was one strong lady.  I believe you met your guardian angel tonight.  Thank You, Jesus.”

“Yes, I did.  Thank You, Jesus.”

I shifted the truck into gear and pulled out of the movie theater lot.  As I turned right onto 85th street her questions started again.  I listened patiently.

“It is time to go home and get you in bed, Mom.  Everything’s going to be just fine.  God will see to that.”  We rode in silence the rest of the way to the nursing home.

In a time when Mom’s dementia was difficult to understand, God sent an angel to remind me that He was near.  The memory of that night helped me many times in the seven years caring for my aging mother.

God knew the cry of my heart and sent help just when I needed it.

Prayer:  Lord God, thank You for the promise that You send angels to help us.  Help me keep my eyes open to the gift of people you send to help me in my time of need.  Remind me to call upon you any time I need help.

Activity Ideas

The next time you go to the mall or the grocery store, be alert to see if there is a person in need of some help.  Offer to load their groceries into the car.  You may be the answer to someone’s desperate cry for help.

Write a thank-you card to someone who has helped you in some way.  I wish I could have sent a thank-you to the woman who helped me and my mom but I never saw her again.  So I said a prayer of thanks and blessing over her instead.

Caring Neighbors

Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one.  And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  This is the first commandment.  And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12: 29-31

Caring for ten children as a young widow was overwhelming for my mom.  She had returned to her full time teaching job only two months before my dad died.  Spending quality time with each of us was next to impossible.

When I was nine years old, I was delighted when a young couple moved into the house next door.  Over the years we had neighbors who were not overjoyed about living next door to a house with ten small children.  “Rug rats” was what one neighbor called us.

But Monte and Roie Strickland were different.  They welcomed us.  I spent every waking hour at their house playing with their son Kevin and daughter Kimberly.

They took me on adventures to rodeos and made me a part of their family.  One of my favorite memories was when Roie let me select a new outfit for the first day of school from the Sears catalog.  They made me feel special.

Many times Roie came over for hot coffee and warm hearted conversation with mom.  They became great friends.  Monte was often out in the yard playing a game of bring-them-back alive with the boys.  We felt genuine love from these neighbors.  God used them mightily in a difficult season of my life.

Jack and Helen McCarthy showed a similar kind of neighborly love.  Our whole family was staying in Helena, MT when my dad died over Thanksgiving weekend in 1965.  We had rushed to the hospital to be with him in his last days, leaving our house in such a mess it looked as if a tornado had blown through.

When we returned home to make the funeral arrangements, Jack and Helen had gathered other friends and cleaned out the place making it ready for the many people who would come to pay their respects.  They fixed the refrigerator door handle and disposed of the dilapidated chair.  They washed piles of laundry and put away our toys.  Upon our arrival the place was clean and fresh.

Covered casseroles, salads, cheese and meat trays and beverages kept arriving at our house.  These were gifts from neighbors who cared about us in our time of need.  They loved us with the kind of love Christ asks us to share with each other.

John Justini was an older gentleman who lived across the street from us.  He drove a fancy car and had a thick Italian accent.  He had no children.  He pretty much kept to himself but every once in awhile he showed us kindness.  He often gave Mom money to put in the bottom of our Easter baskets.

I remember as a little girl playing hop scotch on the sidewalk in front of my house.  John came outside with a big Cuban cigar dangling from his lip.  He motioned me over to the curb.  He waited for the passing cars.  Then he reached into his pin-striped trousers to retrieve a silver dollar from his pocket.  He threw that shiny coin like a Frisbee across the street.

“Go get some candy, kid.”

“Thank you Mr. Justini.”  I scrambled to catch the coin as it rolled onto the sidewalk.

Back in the day, one silver dollar bought enough candy for my entire family.  I ran to the candy store and came back with a bag full of suckers, wax bottles filled with juice, pixie sticks and hot dog gum.  I don’t think Mr. Justini realized how special that was to me and my siblings.  He did what he could to show neighborly love.

What kind of neighbor are you?  Are you a caring neighbor or could you care less?  These days we fill our schedules so tight that we don’t have time to get to know our neighbors.  I know this is true in my neighborhood and probably true in yours.

We gather together with the people on our street for Christmas or for an occasional pot luck.  But I know there have probably been deep needs I was unaware of or too busy to meet.  I am challenged to open my eyes to the needs around me so I can love my neighbors with the same love I have toward God.  I want to challenge you too.  Let’s love with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with your caregiver duties, remember that if the opportunity arises for you to help a neighbor, God provides all that you need to meet that neighbor’s need including His unending love.

Prayer:  Open my eyes Lord, to understand the needs of my neighbor.  Help me to know how to be a caregiver for those who live near me.  Forgive me if I have not been a good neighbor in the past.  Please place opportunities before me where I can love my neighbor as myself.

Activity Ideas

Plan a dessert for the neighbors who live on each side of your house.  Make it simple and inexpensive.  Focus on the fellowship.  As you meet with them, listen carefully to determine if they have any specific needs.

When my husband and I bought our first home, we moved in on April 28th.  A few days later the doorbell rang.  There was no one there but on the door step stood a beautiful vase of flowers.  Ian and Shawn Jones, two boys from up the street had left a May Day gift to welcome us to the neighborhood.  May Day falls on May 1st every year.  Why not do the same for one of your neighbors next May?

Surprise a neighbor and mow their grass or weed their garden.  Do something to help them know that you care.

Content in All Circumstances

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:11-12

My husband Steve was working at an athletic supply store as a salesman.  He was in a season of transition.  Although it was frustrating at times, he eventually realized there was a reason for this season.  Because of this job, we met the most amazing family and a group of loving caregivers.

Steve was working in the office one afternoon.  He heard the door bell signifying a customer had entered the store.  As he walked to the counter, he met two gentlemen in wheelchairs.  They were followed by Cheryl, one of their many caregivers.

“Hi.  I’m Randy.  I’m here to pick up our softball uniforms.”  The gentleman spoke in between breaths from his ventilator.

“Okay, what’s the last name on the order?” Steve replied, curious about these two guys driving big bulky wheelchairs.

“Halvorson.”  The man in the other wheelchair spoke up.  “I’m Rod Halvorson.”

“I’m Steve Murfitt.”  Steve reached out to shake their uniquely formed hands.  “It’s nice to meet both of you.  Is this a disabled softball league?  Do you play?  Are you brothers?”

“Yes, we are twins.  We don’t play but we coach.  It’s a regular league we’ve coached for the last fifteen years.  We have two softball teams and two basketball teams.”

“Wow, this is so encouraging.  My two year old son Gabe is getting a new wheelchair in a few months.  He was born with some congenital birth defects of his arms and legs.   I’d love for him to meet you guys so he can see how much fun you have being involved in sports.”

They completed the transaction, exchanged phone numbers and the twins left the store.  For a young father facing an uncertain future for his disabled son, meeting Randy and Rod Halvorson was a gift from God for Steve.  He had hope for Gabe’s future after hearing their story.

A few months later we were leaving church.  As we opened the door of our van to load Gabe’s wheelchair, the ramp on the van next to us swung open.  Rod Halvorson drove his chair to the end of the ramp.  He was followed by Randy.

“Hey, aren’t you the guys from Athletic Supply?  Cool.  I want you to meet my son Gabe.”  Steve called Gabe over to meet the twins.

We stood in the parking lot of the church and chatted for several minutes.  We invited them to join us during our small group Bible study.  They agreed and we became fast friends.  We learned to love these twins who were born with Duchene Muscular Dystrophy, a degenerative disease primarily affecting the voluntary muscles of the body.

Imagine slowly losing the use of the muscles in your arms and legs.  What would it be like to rely on a ventilator to breath air through your lungs?  The need for full time caregivers was a reality for them.

We’ve watched as this horrible disease has deteriorated their bodies.  However, the disease has never weakened their spirits.  They are content in their circumstance.  It blesses me so.  I remember discussing contentment with them during a Bible study meeting at their home.

“What’s your secret to contentment Randy?” I asked.

“I feel blessed to be alive.  I have my basic needs met.  At least I’m not blind.”

This bold statement came from a man who can’t even scratch his nose if it itches.  He has to be bathed, dressed and fed by his caregivers.  They even turn him in his bed at night.  He drives his wheelchair with his tongue because he no longer has the use of his hands.

I was humbled.  Could I be as content as these two men?  Not on my own strength.  But they have found the strength of Christ which helps them be content in all circumstances.  It is a miracle, given the possible complications from this disease, that Rod and Randy turned fifty last year.  What a joy it was to celebrate with them and the hundreds of people they have coached over the years.  I was honored to play softball on one of their teams for two years.  Every person they’ve ever coached or befriended would agree that they are two of the most inspirational people we’ve ever met.

This taught me as Gabe’s caregiver that things can be a lot worse and they are for many unseen in our world.  I am inspired by Rod and Randy whose circumstances are more challenging to be content in my circumstances.  They are a model of contentment for Gabe.

Prayer:  Dear God.  Help me to always be content whatever the circumstance.  Show me how to focus on being thankful for what I have and not ungrateful for what I don’t have.  Please help me not take anything for granted.

Activity Ideas

Volunteer at a homeless shelter or food distribution ministry warehouse.  During your time there, give thanks for the blessings God has bestowed upon you.

Are you feeling discontented in your job?  Try doing your job with a new attitude and strength from the Lord.  Count your blessings and develop an attitude of gratitude.

If you are having trouble being thankful for your circumstance, imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes.

The Dance

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9

I was worried during the second week of seventh grade when Gabe asked if he could have five dollars to attend the school dance.  He was a new student at Leota Junior High.

Oh my, a dance?  Yikes.  Will the kids make fun of him?  What if a girl says no? How will he dance when the girls are twice as tall as him?

Gabe was not worried or afraid.  He was excited.  He is comfortable in his unusually formed body. He had great courage.

I waited at home, pacing the floor and wondering what was happening at the dance.  Vain imaginations were taking my thoughts captive.  It was about 4:45 p.m. when I arrived at school.  There was a buzz of activity as students were released from the gymnasium.  I stood against the brick wall with my eyes to the blue sky praying a silent prayer hoping the dance was fun.

I was startled when Gary, the janitor, approached me.

“You’re Gabe’s mom right?  I smiled and nodded. “Boy, Mrs. Murfitt, he was the talk of the dance.  He’s quite a kid.”  Before I could ask any questions, Gary was gone.

The Vice Principal, Mr. Farquhar walked up with a smile. “What a guy you have, Mrs. Murfitt.  He was the center of attention at the dance today.  We’ll be talking about this one for a long time to come.  It made my day.”  He shook his head and rubbed a tear away with the back of his hand.

Gabe came bursting through the doors and wheeled out of the gymnasium at lightening speed.  With a grin on his face he hummed the last song played at the dance.  I hoisted him into the van and loaded his wheelchair in the back.

When I sat in the driver seat he announced, “Hey Mom, do you wonder why I’m so excited?”

“Please tell me before I keel over.”  I replied.

His feet were rubbing together.  He hesitated to answer.

“Mom, I asked a girl to dance and she said YES!  This is really cool Mom. I danced at my first dance.  Even Zane didn’t do that!”

I fired off a string of questions.  “Who is this girl?  What does she look like?  How did you ask her?  Did she sit on your wheelchair to dance?  Was it fast music or slow?  Please tell me!”

With eyes sparkling with joy, he turned and told me the story.  “Well Mom, her name is Danielle.  She is really pretty with brown eyes and long hair and a great smile.  James asked her if she would dance with me but she said she wanted me to ask her myself.  About half way through the dance, I got the courage to ask.  Then she asked me what she should do to dance with me.  I asked her to get on her knees. Guess what Mom, she did it!”

His eyes smiled.  “She got down on her knees and danced a slow dance with me.  It made us the same height.  All the kids circled around us like we were rock stars.  A lot of them didn’t even know I could get out of my wheelchair.  They thought it was cool that I could dance.  It was pretty awesome Mom.”  He was out of breath as he finished his story.

My vision was blurred as tears welled up.

“Why are you crying, Mom?”

“I’m proud of you.  You are so courageous.  I’m thankful that God answered my prayers for you to have a fun time.  I’m grateful for a girl like Danielle who would get on her knees at a junior high dance.  Don’t worry, buddy, these are happy tears.”  I blinked them away and grabbed a leftover Taco Time napkin to wipe my drippy nose.

I’m thankful for friends like Danielle who was courageous enough to dance with Gabe even if it meant getting on her knees in front of her junior high friends.  Courageous friends are the best kind of caregivers.

Prayer:  Lord, Thank you for friends who have the courage to kneel by those in need.  Lord, help me to be strong and courageous as I move about my day.  Help me remember not to be afraid because You are with me wherever I go.  In Jesus Name.

Activity Ideas

The next time you see someone who may need a caring friend ask the Lord to give you the courage to go up to them and start a conversation.  Maybe it’s in the lunch room at work or school.  It might even be in the food court at the mall.  Your courage might just make their day.

Has someone done something courageous for you?  Write the story in your journal or tell it to a friend.

For many people it takes courage to visit with total strangers.  But there are many lonely people in assisted living facilities and nursing homes.  Plan a day to go visit with some of the individuals at one of these facilities.  Talk to the activities director and find out how you can help.  Ask God to help you be strong and courageous as you go about caring for the elderly.

Trials and Tribulation – Double Trouble

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

My mom, Helen Devine, successfully raised ten children while teaching English to hundreds of junior high school students.  For twenty-six years, she was not only the caregiver to her large family, but she also cared deeply for her students.  In addition, she was an excellent caregiver to her own mother until Nana went home to be with the Lord.

After Mom retired from teaching, she spent several years volunteering at Hospice and staying active in the teacher’s retirement association.  She also took care of a few of her grandchildren.  Mom loved to be busy with activities.  When the activity stopped, her transition to retirement was difficult.   She stopped eating and slipped into a deep depression.

It was a complicated season for each of us because we were sandwiched between caring for our own children and looking after our mom.  Seven of us lived in the Seattle area, a nine or ten hour drive from Mom’s place.  We tried to get home often but that was not always possible.

I remember a beautiful spring day in late March.  I was putting goody bags together for my oldest son Zane’s seventh birthday party when the phone rang.

“Hi, Gigi, its Marilyn.  Mom won’t eat.  She’s been up all night and she looks horrible.  She is delusional and talking nonsense.  Will you please see if you can talk to her?  She won’t listen to me.”  She handed the phone to Mom.

“Hey, Honey.  How are you?”  Her voice was very weak and I could barely understand her.

“Hi, Mom, what’s going on?  Mar said you’re not sleeping or eating.  Can you tell me what to do to help you?”  I waited in a long moment of silence.

“Oh honey, what’s the use.  I just want to die.  My body doesn’t work any more.  I can’t walk.  I know I’ll fall.  Nothing tastes good.  It feels like my stomach will blow up.  I think it’s my time to die.  I don’t want to live anymore.”

“Mom?  Please don’t talk like that. I love you.  Let me come help you.  I’ll take you to the doctor.  We’ll get to the bottom of this, Mom.  How about we come and bring you to Seattle so you can see all your kids out here.  Would you like that?  It’s going to be okay.  Will you let us do that, Mom?”

“Okay, honey.  I’ll be waiting for you.”  She hung up the phone.

This was so unlike Mom.  She had been like the rock solid foundation of our family.  She never wavered in energy and drive and always maintained a positive attitude.  Something was definitely wrong.

We moved into quick action.  I hung up and called a local mental health clinic.  We made arrangements for Mom to be evaluated the following Monday at a hospital in the Seattle area.

On Saturday, after my son’s birthday party, my sister Shelley picked me up and we headed toward Montana.  Sunday we turned around and drove right back to Seattle.  Early the next morning, we checked Mom into Overlake Hospital where she stayed a week while they stabilized her.

While she was in the hospital I arranged for her to move to an assisted living community close to our house.  Her small apartment was not ready.  When she left the hospital she moved into our house for about five weeks.

The day after she moved in, Steve was laid off from his job.  Double trouble.  I wanted to ask the Lord, “Now what?”  I didn’t know how much more we could take.  But in the end it worked out for good.  With Steve at home he was able to stay with Mom and monitor her food and medication intake while I went to work.  Once we got her medications stabilized her health improved greatly.  She moved in to assisted living care and things started to get much better for everyone.

Sometimes we have trials and tribulations.  They even stack up on top of each other at times.  Through this experience I’ve learned that stuff happens.  But God will help you overcome it and that brings me peace and perseverance

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  Please help me find peace in You.  Even in the middle of my trouble.  Help me to take heart and to remember that you have overcome the world.  Amen.

Activity Ideas

Take some time to journal your troubles in prayer to the Lord.  Release it to Him and receive the peace He has to offer you.

Sometimes God uses friends or family to help us during times of trouble.  If you know of someone who could use a boost pay them a visit.   Many times people need a helping hand to pull them out of the pit of despair.  You might be used by God to bring them peace in troubled times.

Precious in His Sight

Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (NKJV)

1 Peter 3:3-4

I grew up with six sisters and three brothers.  The first house we lived in had only one bathroom with a claw-foot tub but no shower.  Imagine what it must have been like with all of us trying to adorn ourselves for the day.  When we moved to a bigger house with a shower in one of the two bathrooms I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

For me, simple adornment was much easier.  I never was one to wear a lot of makeup or jewelry.  I learned at an early age that I’d be late for school spending too much time in front of the mirror.

I remember a few summers when I put on a caregiver hat that read “Camp Counselor.”  Because my son Gabe needs assistance with some of his basic needs, I volunteered as a counselor at our church camp so I could also be available to help him.

One particular summer, I was asked to be a cabin leader for a group of seventh grade girls.  I was excited since I don’t have daughters of my own.  I thought it would be a fun adventure.

We slept on bunk beds in a tiny little cabin at Medical Lake, Washington.  The girls in my cabin ranged from the sweet girl who just wanted to be hugged to the rebellious, pierced and tattooed teenager with a “Just try to make me” attitude, looking for someone to engage her in a power struggle.  I was at my wits end.

What was I thinking?  I’m the mother of two boys.  Yes, I have six sisters but we were teenagers in another era.  I was not prepared for the issues I had to deal with.

One of the camp rules involved modest dressing.  No bikini swim suits.  No short shorts.  No tummy exposed.  The rules were laid out for the camp attendees before they arrived.  They were asked to pack modest clothing.

Yeah. Right.  Tell that to a thirteen year old hormonal girl.  I carried extra shirts to give them as a cover up.  I asked the same girl to put one on several times in the same day.  She’d roll her eyes as she put the T-shirt on and then she’d remove it as soon as she was out of sight.  I almost became a runaway counselor but God gave me the grace to survive the week.

At a meeting of the volunteer counselors we realized we were all dealing with the same issue.  We prayed about it and asked God how we could handle this situation.  One beautiful young counselor named Rachel asked if she could call a meeting of the girls to present a teaching about modesty.  We prayed and asked God to open the hearts of the young women.

Rachel presented 1 Peter 3:3-4 to the girls as she shared her heart. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

The way she addressed them was simple and fun.  God gave her a gentle spirit that helped her relate honestly with the struggles of these girls.  It was beautiful.  The rest of the week most of the girls honored the camp code regarding modest dress.  We encouraged them all week and reminded them that they were precious in the sight of God.

I’ve often reminded my sons of this verse.  I encourage them both to dig deep into God’s Word to develop the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.  Because they are my sons they are definitely precious in my sight.  But I want them to be precious in the sight of God.  When we abide in Him by spending time seeking His will, we begin to have an outward appearance that shines the light of Christ.  This look is far more precious to God than beautiful hair, gold jewelry or fine apparel.

As a caregiver, when you are in the circumstance when things are not going as planned, don’t be afraid to ask someone else to help for another possible solution.  I was grateful for the way Rachel was able to speak to the heart of these girls.

Prayer:  Dear Lord, help us to focus on the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit rather than on our outward appearance.

Activity Ideas

When you are finding yourself gritting your teeth or ready to pull your hair out, ask yourself who can you ask for help who has the quiet and gentle spirit  Ask God to point you in the right direction.

Remember that God looks on your heart, not on your outward appearance.  Try doing a word search of the word “heart” in the Bible.  If you have access to the Internet, the website www.Biblegateway.com has a keyword search feature that makes it easy to find all the Bible verses containing a certain word.  Click on the keyword search and type “heart”.  I think you will be surprised at how often it appears in Scripture.

If you don’t have Internet access, most Bibles have a concordance in the back that references the verses where a certain word is used.  Focusing your study on a certain word or phrase is a fun way to study the Bible.

I Need My Na-Na

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalm 18:6

The most difficult caregiver hat I wear as a mother is when my boys are hurt or sad.  Their cry simply breaks my heart.  Even though they are now both adults, my heart still aches when they have experienced emotional or physical hurt.  Whether it is a scrape on the knee or the rejection of a friend, it hurts me to hear them cry.

Both our boys loved the pacifier.  Zane affectionately named it his “na-na”.  It was his comforter from the day he was born.  Because his collar bones were broken during a difficult delivery, it was hard to nurse him.  He screamed with pain if I pressed him close to me.  The pacifier helped calm him down when he was upset.  Thankfully, his collar bones healed very quickly and the pain went away.  But the na-na remained.  He loved that thing.

As he got older he’d twirl it with his tongue.  Sometimes it looked like a little helicopter sticking out of his lips spinning out of control.  He became so attached to it that I had to buy several and stash them around the house just in case he lost one.  It was not fun if he couldn’t find his pacifier.

Right before the birth of our second baby, we decided it was time for Zane to get rid of the na-na.  We tried everything and finally resorted to bribery.

We pulled into the Target parking lot.  I lifted Zane out of his car seat.  “Hey buddy.  If we throw na-na away I’ll buy you a “woo-woo” Hot Wheel™ car.” He loved cars.  These cars were really cool because they made a “woo-woo” sound like a police car siren.  He’d been eyeing them on TV.  I thought for sure he’d give up his pacifier for a car.

“That’s okay, mommy.  I don’t need a woo-woo car.” He replied with the na-na sticking half way out of his mouth.

No way!  He didn’t care.  He wasn’t giving up his beloved na-na.  Now what?  We tried telling him that big boys don’t need a na-na.

“I don’t want to be a big boy, Mommy.  I like my na-na.”

One day I just threw it away.  Zane found one in my stash within the hour.  It was so hard for me to be strong when he’d cry.  But I realized it was time to break this unhealthy connection to his na-na.

Our second baby was due within the month.  Zane was about to turn three and we knew it was way past the time to get rid of the na-na for good.  I threw away my entire supply of pacifiers and promised Steve I’d be strong and not give him another one.

Finally, one night Zane agreed it was time to be a big boy.  We put him to bed without his pacifier.  I rubbed his back and he fell asleep.  Yes!  Victory!  We went to bed and prayed that he’d sleep through the night.

The victory was short lived.  From the other room we heard his cry.

“Mama! I need my na-na.  Don’t do this to me.  I need my na-na.  Pwease don’t do this Mama!”

I started to get up to comfort Zane.  Steve stopped me.  “Hon, he’ll be okay.  Just let him cry.  He has to learn to go to sleep without his pacifier.  If you go in now, we’ll lose this battle.  He knows we love him.  He’ll be okay.”

“Daddy!  Pwease, I need my na-na.”  He called out between sobs.

My own tears formed in my eyes.  “I don’t think I can take this, Steve.  Just this once, can’t we give him another pacifier?”

“Wait a few minutes.  He’ll be okay.  This is as hard for you as it is for me.  But we have to be strong.”

I prayed as I wiped the tears from my cheek.  “Oh God, this is so hard.  Please help him go to sleep.”

A few minutes later the crying stopped.  I snuggled up to Steve and we both fell into a deep sleep.

In my distress I cried to the Lord and He heard my prayer.  He knew what I needed.  Sometimes God doesn’t give me exactly what I want but He gives me what I need.

Prayer:  Lord, help me remember that in my distress you hear my cry.  No matter what my circumstance, I trust that you hear my voice.

Activity Ideas

Remember a time when you cried out for help and you knew the Lord heard your cry.  Maybe you had to wait a long time for an answer or perhaps you didn’t get the answer you wanted but you got what you needed instead.  Share the story with a friend or family member.

Was there ever anything in your life that you were deeply attached to like Zane’s na-na?  What did you do to help you get rid of the attachment?

If you’ve never cried out to God for help, trust that He hears your distress call.  Pray a simple prayer explaining your situation.  He promises us in Scripture that He hears our cry.

Take time to write in your journal about any of the above questions.  Use your journal to cry out to the Lord for something you need in your life right now.  Trust that He hears your cry.

The T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E of You

For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. (NKJV)

Deuteronomy 7:6

Have you ever felt like a failure as you take care of your loved one?  I’ll admit there are more times than I can count when I’ve felt that way.  Like the time I totally spaced out on the date and missed an appointment for my son.  Or the night I got frustrated at my grandma when she asked me the same question for the tenth time.  Then there was the time I hurried Mom along even though she couldn’t walk quickly with her walker.  Oh the list goes on.

I could spend hours beating myself up for the things I did or did not do.  God doesn’t do that.  He has chosen me for these roles as caregiver.  He knows the struggles I face.  He sees my heart and understands my desires.  He doesn’t think I’m a failure.

He reminds me in Scripture tat I’m not a failure.  God reminds me I am chosen to be a people for Himself.  No matter what caregiver role you’re currently in, your work is important.  God has chosen you as a special treasure above all others in that role.  It’s important for you to remember this, especially on those days you feel like a failure.

As a caregiver, we can also help those in our care feel like a special treasure.  My mom was good at making me feel special.  She was widowed at age forty-four when my dad died of lung cancer.  The oldest sibling, LeAnne, was sixteen years old.  Patti, the youngest, was only four years old at the time.  Suddenly the caregiver role became an enormous challenge as mom looked to the future.  How could she adequately care for ten children alone?

One thing Mom did was help each one of us feel unique and treasured.  She reminded us that there was a plan and a purpose for our lives.  She was proud of her brood and defended us like a mother bear.

In high school I had problems with some of my girl friends.  They stopped calling.  Some nights they walked by my house on their way to the Dairy Queen.  They didn’t stop to pick me up.  It made me feel like an outcast.  It was a very difficult season of my life.

Mom helped me handle the rejection and disappointment by continually reminding me that God had chosen me for a greater purpose.  She encouraged me that God would bring me new friends if I continued to trust Him.  Over and over she told me that I was a treasure.  I survived that difficult season and came out of it with a new confidence.

When my sons started feeling the rejection of friends in school I was able to use this Scripture to remind them that they were chosen by God to be a gift to those who met them.  I assured them they were a treasure to me and a treasure to God.  No matter what other kids said or did to them, they were still precious to God.

Steven Curtis Chapman is one of my favorite Christian artists.  On his “Heaven in the Real World” album he wrote a song called The T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E of You.  On our way to school I often played this song for my boys.  It reminded them that they are worth more to God than the sun and the moon.

“Mom, turn it up.” Gabe asked as he tapped his feet to the energetic beat and sang the words. When we got to the chorus I pointed at him and said, “You are a treasure worth more than anything under the sun or the moon.  God’s greatest treasure is the treasure of YOU.”

We pulled up to the school and unloaded Gabe’s wheelchair.  As he wheeled away I reminded him. “Okay Gabe.  When Edward messes up your hair today just remember.  “God’s treasure is you!”

“Thanks Mom.  See you after school.”  He wore a smile as he wheeled down the school walkway.

Knowing God’s truth has a way of making us smile.

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  I pray that every person reading this story knows that they are chosen by God and set apart as a special treasure.  Help each one of us to remember the truth of this Scripture.

Activity Ideas

Make a list of the things you treasure about the person in your care.  Share it with them in a letter or poem.

Write the letters of their name and list a special attribute about them to show them what a treasure they are to you.  (For example: G-A-B-E = Great, Awesome, Bold, Excellent or Z-A-N-E = Zesty, Able, Nurturing, Energetic)

Recycle a small jewelry box and embellish it with some decorative stickers or wrapping paper.  Type out “God’s treasure is you” on a slip of paper and place it inside the box.  Give it to someone who needs to feel treasured.

Remember this one thing.  God’s greatest treasure is the treasure of you!”

His Strength is Perfect

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (NKJV)

Philippians 4:13

His arms are only three-inches long.  Stiff fingers and missing thumb bones make using his hands difficult.  Each leg is fused at a forty-five degree angle at the knee.  He can’t walk like you and I do because his legs won’t straighten.  Instead, he scoots on his bottom using his left foot and right knee for support.  Ear canals covered with bone leave him with a forty-five percent bone conductive hearing loss.

Even in an unusually formed body, our son Gabe chooses to live with a positive attitude that touches the heart of everyone he meets.  He doesn’t live like this on his own strength.  Instead, he reached into heaven and found a Bible verse that gave him strength to live in such a uniquely formed body.

When Gabe was in kindergarten, he was struggling with the reality that he would not grow long arms like his older brother Zane.  He watched Zane run out to the playground, and thought it was just a matter of time before his own crooked legs straightened and his short arms grew.  After all, his older brother had long arms and straight legs.  He assumed it would happen once he got to third grade.

One day I had to explain his legs would not straighten out after he finished second grade.  Gabe was very sad.  We both sat in our van in the school parking lot and cried.  For weeks Steve and I struggled to help him maintain a positive attitude about his future.  I kept encouraging him with some Bible verses I had found earlier to help me settle the matter with God.  I prayed he’d figure out a way to know that God would use him the way he is.

Gabe slowly came to grips with the fact that he may never stand tall in a literal way like his brother, but that Jesus would give him the strength to stand up against the challenges he faced.  We kept reminding him that with God, all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)

A few years after this discovery about his arms and legs I was helping Gabe brush his teeth.  He was sitting on the bathroom counter and noticed a small card my husband Steve had taped to the mirror.   There was a picture of a skier and a Bible verse below it.

“Mom, check out the numbers on that Bible verse.  Tell me what it says.” He rinsed his tooth brush and pointed to the card.

“It reads ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’” I replied.

“But mom, read the other words.  What do they say?” He teased.

“It says Philippians 4:13.” Puzzled, I asked, “Where are you going with this, Gabe?”

“Mom, when is my birthday?”  His freshly brushed teeth shined brightly as he wiped the toothpaste off his lips.

“You were born on Friday, April 13, 1990.”

“What month is April?  I mean what number is the month.”

“It’s the fourth month of the year.  Why do you ask these questions?”

“That’s four thirteen right?  The same as Philippians 4:13.  Mom that verse is just for me isn’t it?  It matches my birth date.  April 13th is four thirteen! I really can do all things through Christ!”

A new light dawned in both of our hearts as he made a connection to this verse.  Philippians 4:13 has been his favorite verse ever since.  Christ has indeed given us the strength to face some difficult days.

Without that strength and grace, we would not have been strong during the many challenges we have faced over the years of raising our boys.  Gabe’s revelation of the verse found in Philippians 4:13 has helped me and Steve even more than it helped him.

Together we all have relied on Christ to help us through the years.  We know that in the dark times, brighter days are just around the corner.  There is a glimmer of hope in the horizon.  The strength we have received from Christ will continue to help us walk out the rest of our lives.

Remember that Christ is willing to empower anyone who comes to Him for strength.

Prayer:  Dear God.  Help me remember your promise that when I am weak, you are strong.  When days seem unbearable, remind me to hold on to Your strength to help me get through my challenges.

Activity Idea

Since Gabe found a Bible verse that matched his birthday, try to find a verse that is special for your birthday or anniversary.  If you have access to the internet, check out the website www.birthverse.com.  You should be able to find a verse that fits your special date.

Take time to read the chapter and verse for every book in the Bible that matches your birth date.  Realize that some chapters will not have a verse but it’s likely you’ll come up with several verses to pray about.  .  If you have questions, a Bible commentary guide is a good resource.

If you can’t find an encouraging verse that corresponds with the number of your birth month and birth date, choose another encouraging Scripture verse from your Bible.  A few of my favorites from the NIV translation include these three verses:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

A Tribute to the Challenger Blue Jays

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.

Psalm 41: 1-3

The Challenger Division in our area was established by Gary and Bev Newsome as a separate division of Little League Baseball to enable boys and girls with physical and mental challenges to enjoy the game of baseball.  Each player gets a chance at bat.  The Challenger players wear the same uniforms and safety equipment as other Little League players.

I’ve met the most amazing caregivers during the thirteen years that my husband Steve has coached the Challenger Blue Jays baseball team. Our son Gabe joined when he was six years old.  Our involvement in this organization was very healing for us because it gave us a glimpse of an activity Gabe could do instead of the reminders of all the things his unique body could not do.

Our team has between fifteen and eighteen players in a season.  Several years ago the two local teams had to split into three because we had so many players with special needs who wanted to play baseball.  Now there are about ten teams in the Seattle region.

The diagnosis of each player varies from mildly to severely affected abilities.  Some get around in wheelchairs.  Others use walkers.  Many of the players are able to play without assistance.  Some have cerebral palsy.  There are players with seizure disorders or autism or ADHD or Down syndrome.

The parents of the players on our team are the real heroes.  I realize that the couple of hours we see them on the baseball diamond are only a small glimpse of the work each parent puts in to the lives of these special needs boys and girls.

This devotional is a tribute to the families who have made our lives incredibly blessed as we watch them lovingly care for their children.  Many of these parents have to juggle work, health issues and the schedules of their other children to get the players to the games.  They give unselfishly and we all benefit from being part of the team.

Ryan and his parents, Jim and Jeanne have been on the team the longest.  Everyone knows to get out of Ryan’s way after he hits because he screams around the bases in his wheelchair.

Rosie’s love and energy makes the team come alive.  Jim and Barb are her parents.  I’ve been so inspired by their tireless love.

Jason sometimes imitates Ichiro when he stands at the plate.  His parents Dan and Lynn juggle the schedules of Special Olympics and Challenger Baseball to get Jason to his games.

Doug is Jason’s best friend.  They cheer for rival colleges and are often heard shouting “Go Huskies” or “Go Cougs” at each other during a game.  Doug’s parents, Cathy and Mike see to it that Doug participates in many activities.

Luke likes to hit the ball.  He runs from third base to home plate then stomps on the base to make sure he’s safe.  Dan and Alesia are his parents.  Even while both of them have had health issues this year, they find a way for Luke to have fun.

Paul seems to grow several inches each year.  He has become quite a hitter forcing our opposing teams to get a lot of exercise chasing after his ball.  His mom Anne and dad Steve are always ready to bring a smile to the games.

Trenton has overcome several back surgeries but plays baseball with gusto.  His twin sister Shayla and little brother Gavin try to be at every game to support their brother.  His parents, Sarah and Jason have been a big help to the team as well.

Ryan (our second Ryan) makes it to every game, rain or shine.  Because of a seizure disorder, sometimes he sleeps through the game.  His mom Catherine helps him get good hits.  His dad Rick is also a coach and does a great job helping each player thrive.

Sean was recruited by Coach Steve even before he was eligible to play.  He told his mom and dad, Heather and Dan that he had just been drafted to the Blue Jays.  Sean’s wheelchair zips around the bases at record speed.

Nathan and Michael are brothers.  As the older sibling, Michael helps guide Nathan in the field.  Both are great hitters and enjoy our team.  Their parents Christine and Darren cheer them on at the games.

Dean likes to tease with Coach Rick.  Sometimes he’ll head to first base even before the ball is pitched.  His mom Andrea and dad Chad are very helpful managing the lineup and helping with equipment.

Daniel is a real slugger.  He hits the ball hard and runs fast.  His parents, Mark and Marian are very helpful out on the field.  He’s been an incredible addition to our team when he joined a couple years ago.

Nick uses a walker to run around the bases.  The smile on his face warms the crowd as he heads toward home grinning from ear to ear.  Chris and Staci help out in the field encouraging the players.

Our third Ryan on our team is a tall young man who always has a smile on his face.  His parents Ken and Cindy take turns helping him out in the field.  Whenever I take a picture of Ryan, he says, “Say cheese!”.  We are glad he joined our team.

When we asked Kobey what number he wanted on his jersey he immediately responded 1-8-6.  I asked Cassandra, Kobey’s mom why he picked 186 as his number and she said, “The only thing I can think of is that when he was born we kept a log of all the meals delivered to our house while we were dealing with surgeries and hospital stays.  In the end, we received 186 meals.”  His dad is Harvey and he helps at every game.

Hat’s off to each of these parents.  They have a love for their children that inspires many.

Prayer: Dear Lord.  Help me to give of myself like these parents do every day.  Please protect and preserve our lives so that we can serve the people in our care.  Give us a heart like Yours that regards the weak.  Protect and heal our loved ones.  Amen.

Activity Ideas

Check to see of there is a Challenger Division Little League team in your town.  Make an effort to attend a game.  You won’t be disappointed as you watch a group of young athletes thoroughly enjoy the game.  If you have an opportunity to volunteer for a team, it will change your life.

If you have a hero in your life, tell them.  Encourage them by sharing how they have inspired your life.  Hug a hero.

If you are alone you must connect with others who are in the same or similar situation as you.  This is the biggest lift to your soul and spirit as you are encouraged that there are others out there just like you.  You are not alone.

If you would like to share the story of a hero in your life, send it to me at Gigi@GigiMurfitt.com.  I’m compiling a book of inspirational stories of people like these parents and players.  Write an email describing the individual and how they have touched your life.  These stories need to be told and I hope to tell them in another book.

Rest for the Weary

But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.

Psalm 3:3-5

Many of us wear a caregiver hat twenty-four hours a day for seven days a week.  It’s hard to get a break unless we purposefully take time out to do something for ourselves.  There have been seasons in my life where I had to cry out for help so I could take a much needed rest.

For several years I was caught in that middle place of caring for my mother while I also cared for my young children.  Mom lived in an assisted living apartment close to our home for nearly seven years.  She had been in and out of depression.  I drove her to mental health appointments each week.  We were also trying to figure out what medications were working and which were only making her worse.  The mental health physicians were in disagreement with the rehabilitation team who worked on issues related to her back and digestive problems.  It was frustrating at times.

We were also establishing a routine with our son Gabe’s care as we prepared him for kindergarten.  Zane was in elementary school and Gabe was splitting time between day care and a pre-school program for special needs children.  I was attempting to handle my caregiver duties while also working full time for a software company that demanded long hours.

The advertising slogan “Calgon take me away” became my favorite mantra.  There were days when a five minute bathroom break was the only rest I got.

I quickly learned to cry out to the Lord and ask Him to sustain me during these busy times.  I played my favorite praise and worship music as I traveled to work and between appointments.  I spent time talking to God and asking for rest for my weary soul.  I set my own appointment with God every morning to read my Bible and write in my journal.  He sustained me.

I also learned to cry out to others who could help.  I took advantage of times to get away whenever they were presented to me.

When Steve had a sales meeting in the Bahamas he asked his parents to come to Seattle to take care of our boys.  It was a chance to get away together for a much needed respite.  Grandpa Zane and Grandma Barbara jumped at the opportunity to help us out.  It also gave them cause to visit Steve’s sister, Janice, and her family who live near our house.

For four glorious days Steve and I soaked up the sun at the Atlantis Resort in Nassau, Bahamas.  I had never been to such a beautiful place.  There were no doctor’s appointments or teacher conferences, homework assignments to review or lunches to make.  No payroll deadlines or financial reports were due on my boss’s desk.  It was four days of pure heaven.

In addition to the fun in the sun, Steve and I had a chance to spend time enjoying the blessing of alone time.  This is something that working parents of young children rarely get to enjoy.  We rejuvenated our marriage, relaxed our bodies and renewed our souls.

I wish I could take a trip to the Bahamas every time I need rest but I’ve learned that my mornings with God are really just the rest I need for my weary soul.

Prayer:  Dear God, I turn to You to give me rest when my soul feels weary.  Help me remember to take time each day with You so I don’t let my schedule get the best of me.   You Lord are never in a hurry and I want to be like You.  Slow me down when I start moving too fast.  Thank you for sustaining me each day.

Activity Ideas

Mark an appointment for yourself on your calendar for time to rest.  It could mean that you take a walk and enjoy the scenery around you or sit quietly and listen to your favorite music.  You might also enjoy taking a nap.  Ask a friend to watch the kids and take your spouse on a date night.  It’s important to rejuvenate so you can have the energy you need .

Start a tradition in your family for an annual weekend getaway.  Pick a favorite camping spot at a park and pitch a tent.  If you are not able to go to a park, pitch a tent in your own back yard.  Spend time relaxing and enjoying your family.  Sit in a circle and speak a kind word over each person.  This will lift them up and sustain them for a long time.

Give a friend who is a caregiver a gift coupon for some respite time.  Volunteer to help them with whatever they need.  Some young moms might need you to watch the baby so they can take a shower.  Something as simple as this will be very much appreciated.  Offer to go pick up the groceries or cook a meal for a friend in need.  Let them rest while you shop or prepare dinner

Gather a group of friends and go clean a single mom’s house while she is at work.  Spread out the chores and the whole job will go quickly.  You’ll love the smile on the recipient’s face when she sees her house.

The Touch of a Mother’s Hand

Kathy Devine Goodheart

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

Hebrews 6:10

As a caregiver it’s important for us to be good stewards of our time.  My mom was the ultimate good steward of her time.  On her 81st birthday each of her ten children wrote a tribute to celebrate her life.  We wanted to let her know we did not forget the work and love she showed us.  Each story warmed Mom’s heart because it contained a unique memory shared with her children.  My sister Kathy’s story is included here in honor of our beloved Mom.

I don’t remember the first time I realized the magnitude of Mother’s touch. Perhaps it was when I could weasel in just in time to grasp those slender fingers before any other eager grab got the prize. You see we all wanted our own time, our own touch. With so many wanting the same thing, the touch was cherished. There was never a quota or a scorecard because it was given so freely. The reality was there just weren’t enough of those hands to go around. Yet we all cherished their touch nonetheless.

I turned ten during a summer stay with my cousins in North Dakota. I was anxious to see my family at summer’s end. When the train arrived in Montana, everyone was at the depot platform waiting, except Mom. She was in the car with those loving hands stroking Judy’s blistered back. It had been scalded by a misguided pot of chicken soup. Those hands were gently and lovingly soothing my little sister.

My thirteenth year was one I will never forget. When I was awakened by Aunt Billy’s words, “The angels came and took your daddy last night,” my mom’s loving hands once again soothed a little girl’s broken heart.

“Why did God take my dad?” I asked in despair.

“Yours is not to reason why, yours is but to do or die,” I was told as those weary hands pulled up her stockings to face her first day as a young widow. For the next several days I watched those loving hands being embraced by scores of people who knew and loved my father.

That same year, Mother returned to work to support her ten children. Those hands could be seen correcting spelling tests, ironing dresses, sorting laundry, folding mounds of socks and underwear, and scrubbing dirty dishes late at night. They also could be seen setting that Winston cigarette down on the ashtray to become a coil of gray ash. Her hands seemed to delight in the tingling of the spoon as it stirred its second load of sugar into the much needed cup of java. You see those loving hands were now the solo pilot of the Devine crew.

It was six months later that those loving hands were greatly needed by me, when my joyride on a Honda 55 motorcycle turned into tragedy. Those hands held mine as the ambulance hurried us to Butte. She let go as they wheeled me into surgery to repair my damaged leg. I was in and out of the hospital for the next several months, but Mom never missed a day of visiting even though there were nine others at home.

I remember crying one night because the healing seemed too long. Mom sat next to me and listened, holding my hand, giving the mother’s touch.  I knew she understood the anguish of a long recovery.  She had experienced a long recovery from an accident too.

High school brought moments of excitement and adventure. Many weekends those loving hands were behind the wheel, driving to tournaments or handing out money so we could enjoy.  College was the same. She called and supported me even though her hands were very full at home.

When my friend Harp died, those loving hands once again brought comfort to a sad, confused girl. “Life will go on,” she encouraged, “and you’ll be fine. Paul is in God’s hands and you are too.”

When I got married, letting go of those hands was no easy task.  I reluctantly did, and took with me the lessons learned from those loving hands. Now that I have my own girls, I’ve tried to pass on the legacy of mom’s touch.  A mother’s hands shape the heart and soul of those she loves.  Helen K. Devine, our precious Mother, went home to be with the Lord in October 2007.  We all dearly miss the touch of her beautiful hands.

Prayer:  Father God.  Give us hands to care for the people you put in our lives.  Help us give of our gifts and talents as we remember that You do not forget our work and the love we show as we continue to help those we serve.

Activity Ideas

The book of tributes my family put together was a cherished gift to our mother.  She read it many times in the years before her death.  I challenge you to take time to write down a word of appreciation for a caregiver in your life.  The gift of a kind expression won’t be forgotten.

Write a thank-you card or letter to someone who has been a caregiver in your life.  Include the Scripture from Hebrews 6:10 “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”  Whether the caregiver is your mail carrier, your child’s teacher, your neighbor, your parent or grand parent, a doctor or nurse or your Jazzercise instructor. Thank them for their service to you.  This Scripture will remind them that God sees the work of their hands.

If you are a caregiver, be encouraged that God does not forget your hard work.  Even though the person you take care of may not be able to express his or her appreciation, God won’t forget.

Be Still – I’m God

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (NKVJ)

Psalm 46:10

Warm Beach Camp is a beautiful place in Western Washington.  Although we seldom experience much heat in the early spring, and there really isn’t a warm beach near enough to enjoy, the fellowship is always wonderful at this camp.

We arrived on Friday night eager for some girl time.  There were several hundred women from my church gathered in cabins with bunk beds and shared bathrooms.  It was definitely not a luxury hotel but that didn’t matter.  There was no laundry to fold or dishes to wash or crying babies to wake us in the night.  It was heavenly.

I looked forward to this women’s retreat for many months.  I volunteered to help with snacks and enjoyed serving the ladies with yummy treats.  It was especially fun to sneak into their rooms to place chocolate kisses on their pillows.  Women and chocolate make a great combination.  Strangers quickly became friends and the weekend was off to a great start.

All the while there was a nagging in my spirit.  My son Gabe was scheduled for major surgery a few days after the retreat was over.  This was an elective surgery with the hope to improve his forty-five percent hearing loss due to bone that grew over his ear canal.  I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have his ear removed so Dr. Sie could drill a hole through the skull to open the canal.  The thought of my son going through such pain made my heart ache.

Each night I fell asleep with a list of questions rolling in my head.  What if the surgery doesn’t work to improve his hearing loss?  She might not sew his ear back in the right place.  What if it makes his hearing worse?  Could he die from a reaction to the anesthesia?  Is this the right choice to do this surgery now?  Is it really necessary?

I wrote out a prayer request on an index card and left it with the prayer team.  My request was in good hands with these caring women who took my concern to the Lord.  Together we prayed for the peace that comes when we give our concerns to God.

Sunday morning Pastor Betsey shared a sermon and encouraged us with the Psalm 46:10 Scripture.  “Be still and know that I am God.”  We were given the communion elements and advised to find a place to spend some time praying and seeking the Lord.  I took my wafer and small cup of juice and sat with my journal and Bible on the lawn near the main center.  As I prayed, the sun came out and wrapped around me like a warm blanket.  The smell of lilacs touched my heart.  Lilacs are one of my favorite flowers and their sweet fragrance was a reminder of the presence of God.

For a long time I sat still before the Lord.  I read Psalm 46:10 again.  I wrote a note of thanks to God in my journal.  It was a reminder that all of my worrying and fretting would not change the situation.  I laid my concerns before the Lord and I had an assurance that He would get me through the coming week.

God did get us through.  Gabe survived the surgery and we were on the road to recovery.  Due to scar tissue, the surgery did not improve Gabe’s hearing.  He started wearing a bone conductive hearing aid which brought his hearing to nearly one-hundred percent.

I learned to give these concerns to the Lord.  In the process I learned to be still and remember that the God of the universe has my every concern in His heart.

Prayer:  Dear Lord, forgive me when I try to do things in my own strength.  I know all the worrying and fretting gets me nowhere.  Thank You for showing me the benefit of leaving it all in Your very capable and creative hands.  Help me remember to lay my concerns at Your feet and to be still and let You be God.

Activity Ideas

Find a quiet place to spend some time with God.  Sit still and reflect about your life.  Share your cares and concerns as you talk to God in prayer, knowing that He promises us that He hears our prayers.  When I was in high school I would take my guitar or a tape recorder to a park near my house.  I’d sit on the bank of the Washoe Creek and talk to God about all of my teenage troubles.  Even in the stillness I sensed His presence.  I saw His creation as a gift and enjoyed this time as often as I could.

If you have young children, play a game of silence with them.  Sit in the family room with the TV and radio turned off.  Set a timer for five minutes.  (Adjust the time for age appropriateness).  Tell them to listen quietly without talking.  When the timer goes off ask them to share about the experience.  Did God talk to them?  You might be surprised by the wisdom shared during a quiet moment before God.

He Heals Broken Hearts

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. / The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (NKJV)

Psalm 147:3; Psalm 34:17-18

Call me the heart break kid.  More times than I care to admit my heart has been broken.  I was born with a tender spirit that hurts when I witness the slightest injustice.  Caring deeply for the people in your life comes with its share of heart ache.

Mom had to hide her high school year book from me.  There were several photos of her in a wheelchair as she recovered from a spinal chord injury that happened in an accident her senior year.  I cried when I saw her sitting in a wheelchair when her friends were standing tall.  It seemed so unfair.

Mom always assured me that God got her through that difficult time.  Even though she experienced much pain in her healing, she reminded me that everything turned out okay.  She showed me how God bound up her physical wounds as well as her broken heart as she dealt with the reality of the loss of mobility she had to live with.

As a seven year old, my heart broke when my dad died from lung cancer.  As a young elementary school girl, I learned to turn my heart ache over to God in prayer.  As I grew up, my high school years were wrought with the typical teenage heart break.  I cried like a baby when I saw my boyfriend walk into the gym with another girl on his arm.  I agonized over friendship struggles and plain old growing pains.  I spent many times writing notes in my journal asking God to heal my broken heart.

As a sister, I’ve always been very protective of my siblings.  Like the time I cried with my brother Bob because a girl teased him by calling him “deafy”.  Bob’s road has not been an easy one to travel.  Shortly after his birth his blood had to be transfused.  The Rh negative factor in my mom’s blood type was at war with the positive factor in Bob’s blood.  In the process of the transfusion, the nerves in Bob’s inner ear were damaged.  He has had to wear hearing aids his whole life.

Each of my siblings shed tender hearted tears as we tried to encourage him when others were tearing him down.  We all built up a strong resolve in the face of adversity.  We learned a lot watching him maneuver the challenges he faced.  The care and compassion molded in my family carried over to many other areas of my journey as a mom and a caregiver.

I learned at an early age that God will heal the broken hearted if we surrender our pain to Him.  This truth came in handy when my heart broke at the reality of my own son’s deafness.  But I have always believed God understands my struggle and cares about my crushed spirit.  In many life issues I’ve drawn on this truth.

As a mom, I’m like a mother bear when I feel one of my sons has been heartbroken.  I cried right along with Zane when he learned he didn’t make the ninth grade basketball team. When he met me in the driveway to tell me his first girlfriend had broken up with him I cried because he was sad too.   I shed buckets of tears when I watched Gabe receive the news that he didn’t make the University of Washington marching band squad.

In whatever capacity of caregiver you find yourself, the truth is that God sees your broken heart.  He created our heart so he knows how to mend it when it gets broken.  Christ assures us that He was sent to bind up the broken hearted and to set the captives free.  I hope and pray that you give Him your heart so He can bind up your wounds.

Prayer: Hear me Lord as I cry out to you in my struggles of life.  Help me release my broken heart to You and allow You to heal it.  Deliver me from all my troubles and draw close to my crushed spirit.  Heal me Lord Jesus.

Activity Ideas

Are there people in your sphere of influence who have a crushed spirit?  Take time to write them a note of encouragement.  It might be the healing balm they need for their broken heart.

Make a list of the people you know who are going through a difficult time.  Every morning spend a few minutes in prayer asking the Lord to mend their broken spirit.  God hears your prayers.

Purchase some small hearts at a craft store.  Take a three-by-five index card and write out the Scripture from Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Send the heart and the card to a friend who is having a difficult time.

Do you have a crushed spirit or a broken heart?  I encourage you to tell a friend.  Ask them to pray for you.  Feel free to email me for encouragement.  It’s one of my favorite things to do.  Email me at Gigi@GigiMurfitt.com and share your heart.  I commit to pray for you.

Deep Waters

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

Psalm 18:16-17

Mission Beach in San Diego is a beautiful place on the Southern California coast.  My cousin Jim McMahon was getting married and we were in town for the wedding.  We arrived a few days early for some fun in the sun.

I’m a good swimmer but I had never been swimming in the ocean.  My cousins grew up in California so swimming in the ocean was natural for them.  My younger cousin Danny was teaching me how to body surf one afternoon at the beach.

The sun was heading west on its way over the horizon.  The water was nearly as warm as the California air.  Danny and I walked out into the surf pushing our legs against the constant waves.  I felt the tug of the current as the water made it’s way back out into the sea.  When we were about waist deep, Danny showed me how to catch the wave with my body and ride it into the shore.  The first wave picked me up and gently pushed me into the foamy surf.

“Wow.  That was fun!” I exclaimed as I headed back out to catch another wave.

“Come out a little deeper and you’ll get a longer ride.” Danny said as his tanned muscle-bound body worked the waves.  He was several years younger than me but I was determined to keep up with him.

I made my way out to chest high water just as a huge wave crashed on top of me.  I gulped in some sea water and rubbed my burning eyes.

“Yuck!  That tastes so gross!”  I spit out the salty water.

I turned to see another wave about to crest.  I jumped up and rode it into the shore.  My body was buoyant in the surf.  Back out I went trying to catch up with Danny.  His strong arms and legs took him out further than I was comfortable with.  I stayed at a place where I could still feel the bottom of the ocean.  We rode the waves for another half hour.

Fatigue was setting in so I decided to head toward the beach.  I stood to wipe my sunburned face just as a huge wave caught me by surprise.  It forced me to do a summersault and I lost my orientation.  When I came up for air I was facing away from the land.  Another wave slammed me into the sand and I churned around under its power.  Each time I came up for air the hotel on the beach looked further and further away.  Panic set in and I started flailing my arms in a desperate attempt to swim.

Crash!  Another wave tossed me about like a rag doll.  When I came up I was choking from the big gulp of sea water I had swallowed.  I could no longer feel the sandy bottom and I knew I was way over my head.  I cried out.  “God save me!”

After I wrestled with a few more waves, Danny’s strong arm wrapped around my neck.  He kept my head above water and assured me everything was going to be okay.  In a panic I clung to him for life, nearly taking both of us down.

“Stay calm, Gigi.  I’ve got you.  Relax and I’ll get you to shore.”  His voice was sure and his strength carried both of us easily onto the beach.

Spitting and choking, I gasped for air as I crawled on my knees out of the water.  I searched the landscape trying to get my bearings.  We were about a quarter mile down the beach from where we had set our towels.

“Danny!  Thank you.  You saved my life!  What happened?”  I whimpered in between gasps of breath.

“Breathe slowly and you’ll catch your breath.  You got caught in a rip tide.  It pulled you out over your head.  I’m sorry I took you out so far.  I forgot about the tide.  Are you okay?”  His sympathetic voice calmed me.

I nearly drowned that day.  If not for the quick action of my cousin, I know I would have died.  But God heard my cry and sent Danny to rescue me from the deep waters.  I am forever indebted for this rescue.

Prayer: Dear Lord.  Thank You for hearing our desperate cries for help.  Sometimes we find ourselves in deep waters of trouble.  But when we cry out for help, You come and rescue us from our enemy.  Thank you for sending help when we need it.

Activity Ideas

Take time to write a thank you note to the life guard at your community pool or lake front park.  Tell them how much you appreciate their brave efforts to keep us safe.  Life guards are wonderful caregivers who sometimes risk their life to save another.  It’s the same with military personnel, firefighters and police officers.  Make sure you let them know that you appreciate them.

Reflect on a time when you found yourself in deep waters.  Perhaps you were no where near a lake or pool but found yourself in trouble.  Did you call out to the Lord to rescue you?  Spend some time writing out the story in your journal and thanking the Lord for helping you out of a difficult situation.

If you find yourself in a challenging place right now, spend a few minutes talking to God about it.  Sit quietly and wait as you listen for an assurance that He is with you.  It will not likely be an audible voice, but a sense of knowing He will help you navigate your way to a safer place.

You may not be in the ocean, but you have felt overwhelmed in your daily troubles.  God is there to help you whether you are wet or dry.  Please don’t be too stubborn to ask for help when you need it.  It could cost you your life.

Trust the Caregiver

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

As a working mother, I had to learn to trust the caregivers we hired to babysit our boys.  Six weeks after my oldest son Zane was born I went back to work.  We researched and relied on referrals to make sure we chose a reputable day care.  We found a center associated with a Baptist church where loving grandmas spent the day with our precious son.  Even though we were leaving him in good hands, it was difficult.  We had to learn to trust.

When Gabe was born with special needs, our concerns increased.  Would a stranger be able to deal with his unique body?  Could someone else treat him with the same love I had for him?  I agonized over going back to work and leaving both boys in day care.  Because Steve’s company refused to insure Gabe, I needed to continue working to qualify for medical coverage.

We placed an ad in the newspaper seeking a nanny.  As it turned out, the daughter of a family raised in my home town answered the advertisement.  That was a nice serendipity from God when we hired Stephanie Lovell as our nanny.  She lived in our home and took excellent care of our sons.  We trusted God would make sure everything was okay.  We later found a wonderful in-home caregiver in Lisa and Tim Baisch.

At three years old, Gabe qualified for a Northshore school district pre-school program designed to prepare him to be mainstreamed into the regular class room.  We bought our first house and enrolled the boys in a nearby day care center for the hours they weren’t in school.  Once again I had to learn to trust the teachers and day care workers assigned to their care.  I prayed for their safety every day and God gave us wonderful people who loved our boys.

In elementary school, Gabe was assigned a Para educator to assist him in the classroom.  Since he also needed help with basic personal hygiene, it was especially important to hire someone we could trust.  God was faithful in providing a wonderful caregiver in Kammy Bader.  She was with Gabe from first grade through fourth grade.  When Kammy took a different job we found ourselves asking God to bring us another trustworthy caregiver.

Our prayers were answered over and above what we ever expected.  Chris Dahl was assigned as Gabe’s assistant in fifth grade.  She was an amazing gift to all of us.  Her son Spencer was also born with special needs so Chris related on a different level.   She knew when to help Gabe and when to let him exert his independence.

Chris was Gabe’s biggest advocate in school but she also challenged him to stay on top of his work.  I could always rely on her to keep me informed of school activities.  She remained Gabe’s Para educator until he graduated from high school.  We could not have asked for a better match.

In the summers, our boys had a blast with my nieces Traci and Sara hanging out and making their days a lot of fun.  They also spent a few summers in the capable hands of two of my co-workers, Kathy Thomas and Anna Marie Clayhold.  Finding incredible young women to take care of our boys made it easier to go to work every day knowing they were in good hands.

Now that Gabe is an adult, he is responsible for hiring his own caregivers.  I have to admit that’s a scary thought for a mom.  Gabe found very good care through Chesterfield Housing Services.  Ahmed is a young twenty-two year old college student.  He helps Gabe in the evenings.  Yordonas is a young mom with two daughters who works for him in the mornings.  Once again we found excellent caregivers.

As hard as it is to trust others with the care of my children, I’ve been blessed many times with the individuals we found to watch our boys.  I relied on a lot of prayer and trust in God’s perfect will for my life.

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  It’s hard sometimes to learn to trust others to take care of our loved ones.  Trust means to lean on, to depend or rely upon.  Whether it is our children or our adult parents or our grandchildren, we trust with confidence without fear or doubt that You will put people in our path to be the best caregivers our loved ones need.  Help me learn to turn to You Lord God and trust in your perfect will for my life.

Activity Ideas

Here is a fun activity to help build an understanding of trust with the young children in your life.  Pair the kids with a partner.  One partner is blind-folded and must walk through a “mine field”. Place some things to represent the mines around the room. The other partner tells the blind-folded partner where to walk to avoid the mine.  If he touches a mine, he’s out. Good communication is important as the players learn to trust one another.

If you are having difficulty trusting God for something in your life, study the Bible to learn about all the times He was faithful.  Faith in God increases as you read His Word.

Read stories of God’s work in other people’s lives like “90 Minutes in Heaven” by Don Piper with Cec Murphy.  Another inspiring book is “Joni” by Joni Eareckson Tada.  Joni has many books to inspire the reader.  Books like these help build your hope in a trust worthy God.

If you like to read fiction, best selling author Karen Kingsbury writes incredible stories of individuals and families who have learned to trust God in their challenges.  One of my favorite books dealing with caring for a family member with special needs “A Thousand Tomorrows” where Cody Gunner deals with caring for his brother and his wife.  These books are filled with characters you will relate to as they work through the sometimes difficult circumstances of life.

Refuge in Times of Trouble

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble.  He cares for those who trust in him

Naham 1:7

Mary Ann Shannon was a feisty little Irish woman who came to America when she was sixteen years old.  She was leaving her native country because of the famine and had a ticket to sail on the maiden voyage of the famous ship, the Titanic.  An illness prevented her from sailing in April 1912. Who would have thought anyone would be thankful for the flu but Mary Ann was thankful. Since she is my maternal grandmother I am thankful too.  It is pretty likely that my whole family wouldn’t be here if she had sailed in the lower class berth on the Titanic.

We all affectionately called her Nana.  I loved her Irish brogue.  As a little girl I often asked her to recite her ABC’s and laughed when she said “hache” for the letter H and “zed” for the letter Z.  After she arrived in America she went back to Ireland only one time to see her family.  Thankfully a few of her brothers lived near her in Montana so she had relatives close by.

Nana lived through many trials and tribulations in the eighty-four years of her life.  But she found refuge in the Lord in times of trouble.  A fellow Irish immigrant named Hugh McMahon won her heart and she married him in 1919.  They struggled for years to have children and lost several to miscarriage.  Nana and Grandpa Hugh eventually had a daughter and two sons.  Their daughter Helen is my mother.

They lived through the depression.  They handled the stress of the school accident that left my mom paralyzed for several months.  Nana and Grandpa took turns making several trips by train between Montana and the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN juggling between caring for their two teenage sons at home and managing mom’s care in the hospital.  This went on for over four months.  Nana was one strong woman.  She was often seen with rosary beads in hand praying for her family’s unique needs.

After mom recovered from her accident and learned to walk again, she finished high school and went off to college in Kansas.  She came home and married my dad.  Nana was always there to help out.  She comforted mom through the disappointment of losing her first baby to miscarriage.  The doctors told mom she would not be able to carry a baby to full term because of her unstable spine.  Thankfully, a year later she gave birth to my sister LeAnne.

Tragedy struck again when my Grandpa Hugh was electrocuted in a heartbreaking accident at his job at the copper smelter plant.  Nana relied on the Lord to get her through.  Then her youngest son, my uncle Jack died suddenly of a heart attack at age twenty-five.  He left a beautiful wife, Margaret who was pregnant with their first baby.

Unfortunately, there was a period of time that Nana was overcome with grief and she lost her focus and trust in God.  She slipped into a deep depression.  Dad had to drive her a hundred miles to Missoula so she could receive electric shock therapy.  It brought her out of the deep despair.  Soon Nana realized that God had been there all along.

A few years later our family celebrated Nana’s new marriage to Hugh Haughian.  He was a good friend of my grandparents who had also lost his spouse.  He was a quiet and gentle man.  When my dad died of cancer, Nana and Hughie stepped in and helped our family a lot.  They were strong and encouraging caregivers.

Two years after my dad died, cancer also took Grandpa Hughie’s life.  Nana was once again widowed.  Together my mom and Nana supported one another and held each other up in prayer.  We all pitched in to help.  Each of us kids took turns staying at Nana’s apartment.  It relieved mom of a few mouths to feed and gave Nana the much needed company.  It was fun to help her bake fresh apple pies or cinnamon rolls.  Her apartment always smelled like a bakery.

She began to have health issues and she moved into our house.  But soon we were forced to move her into a nursing home.  She fought this move with her feisty Irish temper.  Every once in awhile she’d remind us of how we had abandoned her.  She was good at laying on the guilt.  Guilt is of the hardest part of needing to pass the caregiver hat to a professional.

Every day Mom visited Nana after she finished teaching at the junior high school.  Sometimes we would wait and visit her after dinner.  For thirteen years Mom gave of her time to help Nana.  It was a gift back to her for all the care Nana gave each of us.

These two strong women of faith, Nana and my mom have molded me into a woman who understands clearly that the Lord is good, and He is a refuge in times of trouble.  He never leaves us or forsakes us.

Prayer:  Dear Lord I know that you are good.  I believe that You are a refuge in times of trouble.  Help me to trust You and to know that You care for me.

Activity Idea

Extend your caring hand to another person and invite them to your home.  America is full of immigrants from nations all over the world.  Ask them to tell you their story of how they came to the United States.

What is your refuge in times of trouble?  Reflect on a time when you had to seek refuge.  Who did you turn to?

Enjoy an outdoor activity such as tag or bring ‘em back alive with the young people in your life.  Create a safe spot where the players can stand and be protected from being tagged.  Remind the players that the Lord is always a safe refuge in times of trouble.

Write It Down

Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for the days to come it may be an everlasting witness.

Isaiah 30:8

There is so much information fed to us each day that it’s difficult to remember everything.  These days, I have to write it down or I’ll forget it before the end of the day.  Sometimes I forget before the end of the hour!  My journal is a great place to record the highlights of the day or to jot reminders of appointments or special events I want to remember.

I also use my journal to track prayer requests.  On the pages of this journal I write the answers to my prayers.  Whether the prayer was answered the way I wanted or not, the story is penned so I am reminded of the move of God.

I’ll often go back to update a journal entry.  Sometimes I don’t get back to it for several years.  This way the generations after me can see that God has been at work by reading what has been recorded by my pen.  It helps build our faith to see the move of God.

Letters or cards are another way to record the things going on in our life.  In today’s culture we use email or a “tweet” on Twitter or an update on Facebook to record our journey.  Regardless of the method, these written words can become a treasure to our loved ones.

As we were cleaning out our basement, I discovered a box of letters I had saved.  Some were notes from high school friends keeping me up to speed on the activities in our friend group while I was away for a few months babysitting in another town.  These letters contained the important scoop like who was going out with whom or what was happening at the local Dairy Queen hang out.  My friends would write about the good movies they saw or about the crush so-and-so had on the new kid in town.  I love to go back and read these notes because they are a taste of the history of my youth.

Notes and cards from my mom are a treasure to me.  When my son Gabe was born she took the time to write several poems to express how she felt as she worked through the feelings of trying to understand his birth defects.  These poems have been precious to my family as they point the way toward finding hope in a difficult circumstance.  Her written notes are a reminder of God’s love for me delivered by my Mom.

Here are a couple of notes Mom wrote just nine days after Gabriel was born.  These words written by her hand remind us of how much she loved us.  I never tire of reading them.

A Prayer to Gabriel

Color our world with your gutsy smile

Help us to see how fruitless our stupid animosities against our fellow man can be

Light up our life with your gallant effort to be alive

Lead us to our God who can help us on the way

Impress upon our selfish hearts how much we really have

Upon this earth that we take for granted

Make us grateful for all good things

Especially YOU!

Grandma’s Prayer

Grandma’s love their grandkids in so very many ways

With cookies, toys, presents, hugs in special words they say.

But when one comes along like you it’s difficult to cope

I want to help in many ways especially with hope.

Hope I had so long ago that really got me through

Some oh so difficult of times with “hurts” a lot like you.

It takes a lot of laughter and a lot of loyal friends

Before the pain of healing comes completely to an end.

The written word is a treasure to those you love especially after you are gone.  I miss my mom but I can hear her voice in each of these poems as I read them.  They have been an inspiration to my sons and I know they will pass them on to the next generation to teach our grandchildren to share our honest thoughts and to trust that God will work it out.

Prayer:  Lord, help me to write down the things that need to be taught to the generations to come so that we all may sing a song of witness to your amazing work in our lives.

Activity Ideas

Is there a family story that is often told at a holiday gathering?  Write it down so that you can pass it on to generations to come.

Have a notebook or a journal available at the next family gathering.  Ask each person to write down their favorite memory from the evening.

Create a page for recording the things you are grateful for.  As something new comes to mind, add it to the list.  In the years to come you will be amazed at the way God works in your life.  It will be recorded for your children and grandchildren to know and understand God’s work throughout the generations of their family.

The stories in the Bible were recorded to teach generations about the things of God.  I encourage you to read the Scriptures.  Even though they were written thousands of years ago, the message applies today.  Start in the Gospels and let Jesus teach you how to be a wonderful caregiver.

Her Gray Haired Crown

Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.

Proverbs 16:31

Working full time with two small children at home was often a struggle for me.  But insurance and debt forced the issue.  We needed the insurance to cover the special needs of our son and the money to pay off the debt we had accumulated.

I got a good job as the accounting manager for a growing software company.  The hours were sometimes brutal as we worked to manage the growth of the company.  When I finally got approval to hire some help I was overjoyed.  We were in the middle of a huge project to build our customer database so I hired several temporary employees.

Arlene was a stunningly beautiful woman with silvery-gray hair and a sweet spirit.  Always dressed to the nines, she sparkled.  We put her to work going through our files and recording customer information on hand written spreadsheets.  Soon it was evident we found a valuable employee and we hired her permanently.

On our breaks she shared her life story with me.  I marveled at the strength and courage of someone who had been through so much.  Her testimony was unbelievable.  She walked through losing her first husband who loved her intensely.  Then only a few years later her daughter Kathy was diagnosed with cancer and she spent the next eighteen months in and out of Children’s Hospital.  Even while other parents abandoned their sick children, Arlene stepped in to care for these babies even while she cared for Kathy.  When she remarried she cared for her step-children as if they were her own.  She had been through heartache and betrayal but in the middle of it, she took time to care about others.

She told how she learned to trust God with everything.  The Lord had put Arlene in my life at a time when her story gave me the courage to make it through another day of juggling family life, work and doctor appointments for my newborn, Gabriel who was born with special needs.  She encouraged me to start reading my Bible and trusting that God had a plan and it is good.

As I shared my concerns with her she always had a wise word of advice.  She would often ask me, “What would Jesus think?  What would Jesus do?”  I still marvel at her trust in the Lord.  She has been through many trials but she always gave God the glory and praised him in the midst of her troubles.

Even after I left the company to become the accountant for my church, Arlene and I were able to work together through a company who was a client in my private accounting business.  Two years later Bob Delf recruited me to work for another software company.  He had been the president of the first software company I worked for and now was in charge of Easy Systems, Inc.  I was able to set part time hours so I was delighted to take the job.

When we found ourselves in need of help once again, both Bob and I thought of Arlene.  She had always been such a joy to work with and gave 110% to the job.  I was excited to be in the same office once again.

In all the years I’ve known her, Arlene’s faith has not waivered.  Together we’ve held each other up during some difficult times.  When she lost another husband Siggy, I marveled at the way she continued to praise the Lord in the midst of her heartache.  Even while she was suffering in her own grief, she was willing to minister to my friend Dottie who had lost her husband at the same time.  Within the next couple of years, Arlene cared for both her in-laws and her parents as they were ushered into heaven.  Always caring and always giving.  That’s Arlene.

In the office where both of us still work, Arlene is known as the resident angel.  Everyone knows they can come to her for advice or prayer.  Her righteous life shines through in the way she sparkles every day.  Her silver hair is truly a crown of splendor.

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  Thank you for the gift Arlene is to all of us.  I pray Lord that we would all learn from her and take our eyes off our problems and focus them on You.  Help us to wear a crown of splendor as we live a righteous life.

Activity Ideas

If you have any gray haired people in your life, take the time to talk with them.  You will find they have great wisdom to pass along.  Encourage them to share their testimony.  It may just change your life.

Often we think negatively of gray hair because it means we’re getting old.  Both my mother and my grandmother had beautiful curly silvery locks.  As I begin to see the gray streaks poking through my head, I’m choosing to remember that gray hair is a crown of splendor.

Commit your life to right living and you’ll wear a crown of splendor whether or not your hair turns gray.

Words as Sweet as Honey

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

With ten children, twenty-five grandchildren and fourteen great-grandchildren, my mom spent much time in a caregiver role.  She loved to sing and speak pleasant words to these beloved children.

When my son Zane was a toddler, it warmed my heart to watch Mom sing to him.  He would crawl up in her lap and ask her to do “Tick tack”.

Mom pulled Zane’s tiny foot into her hands as she repeated a favorite Devine rhyme while she tapped her finger on the sole of his foot.  The rhyme went like this.  “A tick a tack a two.  Zane Robert set a shoe.  A nail here.  A nail there.  A tick a tack a two.”  With each word she tickled his foot.

Zane giggled from the belly.  “Do again Grandma.”  She would repeat this chant over and over to the gleeful sounds of her grandchildren who often waited on the couch to be next in line.

When Gabe was a baby he shrieked with laughter when Mom buzzed her index finger in circles over his head looking for a spot to land on his tiny body.  “Bumble bee, bumble bee under the bin.  He’s gonna kiss Gabriel right on the chin.”  Gabe would flinch as he anticipated mom’s tickling fingers.

“Again Gamma Helen”.

“Bumble bee, bumble bee under the rose.  He’s gonna kiss Gabriel right on the nose.”  This routine was a favorite.

Children need to hear your love through pleasant words.  With all my nieces and nephews I have plenty of sweet children to speak to.  For some of them I came up with unique pet names or I’d speak declarations over their life.  It only takes a few simple sentences to sweeten someone’s soul.

“How’s my favorite Missy today?  Did you know that you have the most beautiful eyes and the cutest button nose?”  Or I’d say “How is the smartest kid in town today?” when I greeted my nephew Chad outside his kindergarten room.

My niece, Shannon lived with Mom at a time when I was working and living at home too.  We had a fun routine every day when she greeted me at the front door upon my return from work.

“How’s my favorite Boogie Girl today?  Did you know how amazing you are?  Know what I did at work today?  I bragged all day about you!”  I’d poke her in the tummy.

“What did you say about me today?” She questioned with a sweet lisp.

“Well, let’s see.  Today I said I have the most amazing sweet girl who lives at my house.  I think she might be the prettiest and the smartest girl in the universe.”

“You said that?  What else?” She giggled.

“I said I think I need to bring her something sweet today because she is such a sweet girl.”

“Did you bring it today, Aunt Gigi?  Did you bring me a surprise?”  By now her hands rubbed together in anticipation of the prize that I brought home every day.

I slipped a can of apple juice out of my purse and hid it behind my back.  “Guess which hand, Boogie.”

Scratching her temple she rolled her eyes up as she decided which hand might hold the prize.  Then she put her finger in her deep dimple before pointing at me.  “Is it in your right hand?”

“Nope, guess again sweetie.” I teased.

“Well if it’s not in your right hand it must be in your left hand because you only have two hands.  I’m guessing it’s in your left hand.  Am I right?”

“Boy you’re so smart.  You are absolutely right!  Here you go.”  As I handed her the tiny can of apple juice she hugged me as if I had given her a precious jewel.  The grateful heart of a small child finds delight even in a small can of apple juice.

Speaking kind words of encouragement to others not only lifts them up but it can also carry you through some difficult times.  This was a confusing season for me where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life.  The daily exchange of words with my little niece was truly sweet to both of our souls.

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  I know that encouraging words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  Help me Jesus to always try to speak kindly to those around me.

Activity Ideas

Challenge yourself to speak only kind words to every person you meet today.  Greet them with a smile and think of a few things to say to them.  It could be something as simple as “Have a nice day.”

The next time you are on a walk, speak to each person who passes you by.  I’ve noticed when I’m out walking the trail that most people are so focused on listening to their music or looking at the ground that they don’t even notice the people they pass by.  My husband Steve always speaks to the people we pass on our evening walks.  We almost always get a smile.

One of the things I like to do during Lent season is to think of a different person each day to send an encouraging email or card.  It has been so much fun to hear from them months down the road to learn that the card I sent came at a time when they really needed a lift.

The Least of These

Kathy Devine Goodheart

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. … I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

Matthew 25:35-40

The decision to place my mom into the nursing home came with great heartache and consternation. Just admitting that I could no longer care for her was sad and humbling. I prayed that God would lead us in our search for a caring and affordable facility. Funds from Teacher's Retirement and Social Security were all Mom had to support herself.

I asked the Lord to help us in our search and He did. We found a facility close to our house that would accept Mom.  It was clean, and seemed like a caring home. By now, Mom's dementia was getting advanced, yet she still knew this was not home, and the caregivers were not her children. The adjustment for her was difficult. Every day she asked me to take her home. Many days I would cry all the way home asking the Lord to lead us through this difficult time.

One particular day Mom was sitting in a five pound, urine soaked diaper. I quickly cleaned her up and talked to the nurse on duty. This nursing home had very high employee turnover. I hardly ever recognized Mom's caregivers because they were always different. The nurse apologized and promised to check her more frequently. This problem, however, did not change.

One day, I had had enough. I met with the manager and we discussed what could be done. I didn't want to move Mom to a new facility because the location made my daily visits possible. However, I needed to see improvements in her care.  I wanted to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. I asked if I could visit with the staff. She agreed and put me on the agenda for the next week.

I prayed all week that the Lord would guide me and help me open the eyes of the caregivers to show more concern and compassion for their patients. God planted some ideas in my head the day before the meeting. I had great peace.

When I arrived at the nursing home for (what I thought) was a meeting with Mom’s assigned caregivers, the entire dining hall was full with about 60 staff members and I was the guest speaker! I was nervous but as I asked the Lord for guidance, a peace came over me and the words flowed easily.

I asked the staff to take a piece of paper and write down eight to ten things in their life that are very important to them. I prayed while they wrote.  Then I asked several to share what was on their list. Many of them had the same things.

I asked,” Who wrote my family on your list? Please cross it off. Who wrote my home on your list? Please cross it off. Who wrote my car? Please cross it off. Who wrote my pets? Please cross it off." And so the list went on.

When I finished, the only thing left on people's list was God, and He wasn't on the majority of lists. Many lists had everything crossed off. I asked them all to think about their patients.  We talked about how these precious residents had given up everything on their list in order to move into the nursing home.

The residents greatly need love and compassion from the people who work with them every day. For many of them, the caregivers were the only contact they had on a daily basis.  A touch, a smile, a gentle response, an "I care about you" attitude could make a bleak day brighter. I asked them to treat the residents like they were family. I said, “Remember, each person here is someone's Mom, Dad, Sister or Brother. Do you think you could go an extra step to make a difference in God's waiting room, this nursing home?”

Everyone filed out quietly after the meeting. Many said, "Thank You, I hadn’t thought of my residents like that." God had truly sent His message through me, and I prayed that it made a difference.

Prayer: Oh, Heavenly Father, I pray for all caregivers in nursing homes. Let them understand the importance of their gentle touch on our dear sick and elderly. Just this moment, Lord, give someone courage who is dealing with a difficult patient. Let them be filled with your mercy and grace.

Activity Ideas

Go through your magazines and books. Bring them to a nearby nursing home so they can distribute them to the residents. Put a bookmark in each book with an encouraging message for the person who reads your book.  It will brighten their day.

Bring your children to a nursing home to visit. The residents are lonely and especially love little children. Have your school age children make cards to distribute. It makes it easier to talk to the residents.

Make your own personal list of all of the things in your life for which you are thankful. Put your list in a place where you can often see it, and every time you read it, thank God for all of your blessings.

Have you ever thought of adopting a nursing home resident who has no family in the area?  Talk to the nursing home, assisted living facility or group home supervisor to see if this is possible.  Send them cards.  Bring them flowers from your garden.  Take them for a walk.  Make time to bless them and you will be blessed in return.

For the Love of Annie

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

“Zane, come here.  I need you to meet Mr. Snuggles.  This bear is so precious to me because I’ve had him since I was ten years old.”  Annie held up a rather large stuffed bear obviously tattered from the love squeezed out of it for the last fourteen years.

“My uncle Steve gave him to me and I love him so much.  He is a treasure to me.  Just like you Zane.  You’re so special to me.  Did you know I think your dad is like precious gold?  I just love Coach Steve.  He gets two thumbs up!  And I love baseball!”

Annie is a twenty-four year old woman born with special needs.  She’s been a part of the Challenger Little League Baseball team for ten years.  My husband, Steve is one of the coaches along with Rick Davis.  Both are fathers of special needs children.  Steve and Rick have the most amazing caregiver’s hearts that touch many families whose children would not be able to play regular little league baseball.

Annie may have been born with special needs that challenge some of her cognitive abilities but she was given an extra measure of joy and love.  Every time I’m around her my spirit is lifted by her contagious joy.

“Gigi, do you know what a treasure my mom and dad are?  I love them so much.  They are like gold to me.” She points to the gold band on her ring.  “I am so thankful to God for my parents.  They really are like gold to me.”

Annie gives Snuggles another tight squeeze.  “Did you know Snuggles had to have an extreme bear makeover because he loved me so much he almost fell apart?”  The stuffed bear’s neck is stretched long.  The stuffing has been squeezed out of his neck from Annie’s tight hugs.

“Do you know how much I love this baseball team?  This team is a treasure to me, a treasure like pure gold.  I love Coach Steve and I love Gabe.  He’s so special to me.  I love everyone on this team.  And I love Jesus too.”

“Hey Annie!  You’re up.” Coach Steve hollered to us as she finished her story.  She handed Snuggles to Zane and grabbed her helmet and bat.

She stopped in front of the bleachers.  “Okay everybody, cheer for me.  I’m going to hit a home run.  I love the Blue Jays and I love my parents!”  She skipped off and set her stance at the plate.  She banged the bat three times and leaned back determined to hit the ball.

Looking to the crowd she cupped her hand over her mouth.  “Wait!  Does everybody know my birthday is July 25th?  You’re all invited to my party.  Don’t forget to cheer!  Watch me hit a home run when I slide into home!”

Steve threw her a pitch.  Whack!  The ball sailed out over the second baseman’s head.  The other team scrambled to chase the ball.  Annie took off with lightening speed and touched first base.  She rounded toward second, arms pumping.  As she passed the second baseman she gave him a high five.  Then she passed Catherine Davis who was pushing her son Ryan’s wheelchair around the bases.  Annie swerved around them and headed toward third.  She curved way outside the baseline on her way home.  When she was about three feet from the plate she started her infamous slide and landed in a cloud of dust.  She bounced to her feet and dusted off.  She headed toward the crowd to give every one a hug or a high five.

“Did you see that?  I hit another home run.  I love my parents and I love baseball!”

Prayer: Dear Lord.  Our greatest command is to love.  Give me a cheerful heart that I may be good medicine to those around me.  Let our cheerful example of love be like Annie’s.

Activity Ideas

There are many ways to show your love to the people around you.  Be a cheerful friend.  Hug the people you care about.  Clean the bathroom.  Make your bed.  Write a note expressing how important your special person is to you.  Say the words “I Love You.”

I highly recommend a book called The Love Dare by Alex and Stephen Kendrick.  It contains forty ways to express your love.

Another good book is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  It helps you discover your language of love.  When you understand someone’s love language, you will be much more effective in treating them the way that expresses love to them.

Caring Teachers

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing

1 Thessalonians 5:11

My hat is off to you if your job is a teacher.  This is one of the most important caregiver roles there is.  Lives are changed when teachers care.  I have many teachers in my family.   In our busy world, they often have more influence than the parents.

My favorite teacher taught me first and second grade.  She was a young nun named Sister Edwards.  Her beautiful face radiated out of the black habit that surrounded it.  Her voice was as gentle as her touch.

My Uncle Stack was on his way to pick us up at school and drive us over the snowy mountain pass to say our good byes to dad. He was dying in the Veterans Hospital.

Sister Edwards leaned into me at my desk and quietly asked me to follow her.  We left the basement classroom.  She asked me to wait in the entry way as she ran up the stairs to the convent.  A few minutes later she returned with a candy bar.

She sat next to me on the stairs.  “Sweetheart, your uncle will be here in a few minutes.  You will be visiting your daddy today.  Please take this candy bar for the trip.  I pray God will be with you and your family.”

As she handed me the Oh Henry candy bar, my wide-eyed grin made her laugh and a tear spilled onto her cheek.  Her kind gesture toward me has been one of my cherished memories of the nuns who taught me for nine years.

I admire how teachers give of their time and talents to shape the minds and hearts of the people God has assigned to them.

Unfortunately, I’ve also had a few teachers who weren’t so loving and caring.  One such teacher was a very tall and homely nun who taught third grade.  She rarely smiled and often barked her instructions to our class.  Her words did not build us up.

My sister LeAnne spent hours teasing my long blond hair into a bee-hive bun.  All the girls at school admired the beautiful masterpiece of curls.  Everyone admired it except Sister Constantia (otherwise known as Sister-Can’t-Stand-Ya by the students).

With a raised eyebrow she yelled, “Come here young lady.”  My heart pounded as I tiptoed to her desk.  “That hair is not appropriate for third grade.  You will have that hair-do taken out during lunch.  Am I perfectly clear?”

“Yes Sister Constantia.”  I whimpered as I sheepishly returned to my seat.

During lunch, there was no time to fix my hair and mom said it was okay to wait until after school.  I left my hair in the bun and went back to school.

“Sister, my mom said I did not have to take out my bun because we didn’t have time.”

“Is that correct, Ms. Devine? I think your mother forgot this is not her classroom.  Please step forward.”

Tears welled as I stepped to the front of the room.  As she recited the rules of respecting the teacher, she removed the bobby pins pulling little hairs out with each one.  I winced with each pull.  Big elephant tears streamed down my cheeks and dripped onto my patent leather shoes.  After the last bobby pin came out she put both hands on my head and attempted to undo the ratted mess.  I looked like I’d put my fingers in a light socket.

“That will be the last time you choose to ignore my instruction.  Right, Ms. Devine?”

“Yes, S-s-sister”.  I whimpered as I shuffled back to my desk.

Back at home, a long bath in the claw tub followed by encouraging hugs from my siblings helped me feel better.  Mom used this incident to teach us the importance of honoring authority figures like teachers.  We also talked about a more grace filled way to handle this situation.  I apologized to Sister Constantia and forgave her for hurting my feelings.  Sometimes it is difficult to bless those who hurt us.  But in the end we are better for it.

My hope is that you are the kind of caregiver who builds people up rather than tearing them down.  An encouraging word goes a long way.

Prayer: Dear Lord.  Sometimes our role as caregiver can be difficult.  Help us to learn to stop and pray before we speak.  Give us words of encouragement to build up the people in our care.  Help us to take our frustration to You and not take it out on someone else.  Lord if we have been harmed by ugly actions or words please give us the grace to forgive.  In Jesus Name.

Activity Ideas

Take time to encourage a teacher in your life.  A simple note or a bouquet of flowers will help them feel appreciated.

If you are a teacher, ask God to give you the words to speak to your students.  Even if you are frustrated and need to discipline a student, God gives you the grace to speak a kind word.

Take ten.  One of the things I do is count to ten before I speak.  Pastor Gini often teaches us to think “pray – don’t say” as a reminder to seek God’s grace before we open our mouth to speak.

Family Love

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Romans 12:9-11

The love of family makes the most difficult circumstances much easier to endure.  With sincerity of heart, we can care for our family members better than anyone else.  Family ties provide many opportunities to be a caregiver.

My mother-in-law, Barbara inspired me with her caring and giving heart.  As a registered nurse in the small town of Philipsburg, MT, she was often called upon to help a neighbor or a friend as they recovered from a hospital stay.  She gave of her love and her time to many people including our aunt Zalia.  Barbara and Zane took Zalia into their home when she was dying from cancer.

She loved to take care of her grandchildren.  She delighted when the kids came for a visit.  We were especially grateful for her seamstress abilities as she altered our son Gabe’s clothes to fit his three-inch long arms.  She spent many hours at her sewing machine crafting quilts and dresses and coats to show her sincere love to our family.

Barbara passed away in 2004 and we all miss her pretty blue eyes and wide smile.  She was devoted to us in love and honored each one of us above herself.

My father-in-law, Zane has cheered us on and supported our family as a devoted father and grandfather.  We hear from him every week with thoughtful notes typed on an old typewriter included with a stack of hometown newspapers he sends in each package.  He delights in gathering his children and grandchildren to find out what’s happening in each of our lives.

Our Aunt Nina shows her love with hospitality.  We love to go to her house in Idaho where she takes great care of us and makes us feel right at home.  My boys love to ask Nina to sing some of the old family songs.  We always plan to stay overnight with her on our trips to Montana.

My husband Steve is devoted to me and our boys.  He loves us with a zeal and spiritual fervor as he serves the Lord.  It warms my heart to watch him get up before the sun rises to pray for our family.  He works very hard to provide for our needs.  His sincere and loyal love is deep and rooted in his relationship with God.  I am honored to be his wife.

Our son Zane is named after Steve’s dad.  Zane has learned much about family love.  He has sincerely loved his younger brother Gabe.  It has not always been easy to step into the caregiver role as Gabe’s brother because of his special needs.  But Zane has offered his love and support with gusto.  Kids at school or daycare learned early on not to mess with Zane’s little brother because he’d defend Gabe with passion.

Both of our boys share a brotherly love that makes us smile.  They cling to what is good about each other and spur one another on in love.  Kindness is a quality they share.  They pray for each other and support the desires of their heart.  Their unique personalities complement each other and they enjoy spending time together.

Both Steve and I come from large families.  I have three brothers and six sisters and Steve has two brothers and two sisters.  It is the love of family that has helped us navigate the years of raising a son with a disability.  The whole family has helped us learn to walk through our challenges.  We are very grateful.

We have many fun family gatherings where we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, graduations or weddings.  As we welcome Kelsey into our life and our family continues to grow, I pray that this family love continues through all the generations.

The Bible is full of verses that remind us to love each other with sincere brotherly love.  Yes, sometimes we have disagreements or conflicts, but if we approach them with the love of God honoring one another above ourselves, we can easily work out any issue that comes our way.  When we take our eyes off ourselves and put it on those we care about, it all seems to work out.

I challenge you to be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

Prayer:  Dear Lord.  Help me to love with a sincere heart.  I want to cling to what is good and hate what is evil.  Show me how to be devoted to the people in my life and to love them with brotherly love.  Give me grace and mercy so I can honor those in my care above myself.  Pour your love into me so that I might pour it out on others.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Activity Ideas

Focus on putting others above yourself.  Seek to sincerely love the people God puts in your care.  If you are struggling with a difficult situation with someone in your care, ask God to show you how to love them with His grace and mercy poured into you.  Sometimes we can’t do it on our own.  We need the Holy Spirit to fill up our empty cup so that it might spill the love out onto the people in our life.

Plan a gathering of family members.  If it is someone’s birthday, ask each person around the table to express three things they love about the birthday celebrant.  This is a fun way to show your sincere love.

Strength for the Journey

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.(NKVJ)

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

The role of caregiver is something I cherish.  I enjoy making sure others feel good and enjoy life.  My caregiver role is changing as I transition to an empty nest.  I hope to one day have some grandchildren to spoil and ruffle the feathers in my empty nest.  I can’t wait.

With the various caregiver hats I’ve worn over the years I’ve had to rely on God to give me strength for the journey.  There are a number of different disciplines I use to keep me going.  I share them with you with hope that you find one or two that works to strengthen your spirit.

I gather strength for the day first thing in the morning when I sit for about thirty minutes in my quiet time.  I start off writing in my journal.  The journal I currently use is a daily planner with enough space to write out a half page of thoughts.  What I like about this journal is that each day has a Scripture to reflect upon and then a quote from an author.  I start out my entry with thanksgiving for whatever happened the day before.  I might also add a prayer request.

Then I spend time in whatever Bible study I happen to be working on.  I like to participate in six to ten week long studies with daily readings and assignments.  This format keeps me in God’s Word and the assignments allow me to jot my thoughts in answer to the questions.  I especially like it when I can participate with others in a study so we can share our thoughts about a given Scripture or topic.

On Sundays I attend a Bible teaching church where the worship and fellowship is sweet.  It revives my soul every time I attend.  I come away refreshed and renewed to tackle my caregiver role with mercy, grace and love.  It is my day of rest.

On Tuesday mornings I attend a women’s Bible study at my church.  I sit at a table with a group of women who care about me with love and respect.  We spur one another on in the good things of God.  We share prayer requests and reflect on what we learned from Pastor Gini’s teaching.  I’ve learned to love these women and I know they hold me up in prayer.

We have belonged to a home fellowship group for about seventeen years.  This group is like family to us.  In the meetings every other week we share joys and concerns.  We care for each other deeply.  We leave renewed and encouraged.

I like to pray all throughout the day for my family or for any needs that come my way.  I find that by continuously talking to God I sense His presence in my every day activities.  I have two prayer groups who get frequent emails from me as prayer requests are given to me.  When I receive requests from these groups I stop and take time to pray.

Physical exercise is a very important way to continue to have strength for the journey.  I like to go for long walks with my worship music playing as I savor the beauty of my surroundings.  I’m also a member of a Jazzercise club where I get excellent exercise with a fun group of women.  This is so important to keep me strong.

Be encouraged that in these disciplines you will gain strength for your heart, soul and mind so you can be the best caregiver God made you to be.  Each one of these activities recharges your batteries so your light shines brighter to the world around you.  Don’t stress if you can’t do every one.  Do what works for you.

I pray for the strength to make your life as a caregiver a blessed journey.  The world needs caregivers like you and I hope and pray that you continue to find strength to carry on.  May you know without a shadow of a doubt that God is with you wherever you go.

Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray that you comfort our heart as You establish the work of our hands.  Give us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace as we care for those we love.  Help us to remember to come to You for refreshing.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Activity Ideas

Choose one of the disciplines mentioned above and try it for a few weeks.  You’ll be surprised at how much it helps to improve your life.

There are many different Bible studies you can do on your own or with a group.  I’m a big fan of the Bible studies written by Beth Moore.  I relate to her life and enjoy the way she teaches the truths found in Scripture.

I hope you will find a Bible teaching church to establish a fellowship group who can hold you up and pray for your needs.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading Caregivers Devotions to Go.  I hope you have been inspired by these thirty stories.  Please take the time to write and let me know which story touched your heart.  Maybe one day we will meet so I can hear the story of how God used you to be a wonderful caregiver as you give of your time and love to someone else.

You can email me at Gigi@GigiMurfitt.com or send me a note at

Gigi Devine Murfitt

PO Box 2437

Woodinville, WA  98072

In your caregiver role, if you need encouragement or support, please be sure to contact our nonprofit organization Gabriel’s Foundation of HOPE.  We were established to support individuals and families who deal with living with a disability.  We hope to be able to help you overcome and persevere by encouraging you and the person in your care along the way.  Contact our organization at www.GabesHope.org

There are many more books in the Devotions to Go series.  Please check out the website at www.ExtremeDivaMedia.com to obtain a list of the various titles of the books.  Each one is designed to fit in your pocket or your purse so you can use them when you are on the go.  The books can be purchased on that site.

Thank you again for the privilege of sharing my stories with you.  God Bless your heart.

Gigi Devine Murfitt

The Caring Diva

Do You Have a Story to Tell

We are looking for people to share their stories with other people on the same journey. Tell your story in one of our devotionals. We are developing devotionals for men & families as well as our devotionals for women. We believe everyone has a story to share. How can you share your story?

For more information and guidelines, please visit our website:

http://seemediainc.com

Table of Contents

Copyright

Overview

Dedication

I Love Tulips and Windmills

Lost and Found

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Remember the Good Old Days

Did I Sign Up For This?

Guardian Angel

Caring Neighbors

Content in All Circumstances

The Dance

Trials and Tribulation – Double Trouble

Precious in His Sight

I Need My Na-Na

The T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E of You

His Strength is Perfect

A Tribute to the Challenger Blue Jays

Rest for the Weary

The Touch of a Mother’s Hand

Be Still – I’m God

He Heals Broken Hearts

Deep Waters

Trust the Caregiver

Refuge in Times of Trouble

Write It Down

Her Gray Haired Crown

Words as Sweet as Honey

The Least of These

For the Love of Annie

Caring Teachers

Family Love

Strength for the Journey

Conclusion

Do You Have a Story to Tell