POWERFUL PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT IN 12 MINUTES A DAY

HOW TO ADD WHAT IS LACKING IN A FEW MINUTES EACH DAY

MARK FURLONG

Copyright © 2013 by Mark Furlong. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews. Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instructions or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state, and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction, is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any organization or individual is purely unintentional.

Published by TCK Publishing

www.TCKPublishing.com

YOUR FREE GIFT

As a way of saying thanks for your purchase; I’m offering a free audio recording and free worksheet for you.

Every leader wants to see positive change happen as quickly as possible. To help you speed up that change process, I’m giving you my audio “Improve Leadership Results Quickly” and a free worksheet to go along with it.

You can download this free recording and worksheet at:

www.MarkFurlongCoaching.com/freeresources

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1. Foundational Beliefs

Chapter 2. Preparation

Chapter 3. The Big 4 Practices

Chapter 4: Big Four Enhancers

Chapter 5. The God Factor

Excerpt from Dream: How to Find a Dream Worth Following

About The Author

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to Powerful Personal Development in 12 Minutes a Day. I am so excited you’ve decided to join me in learning and implementing some simple, proven, powerful steps to develop what is lacking in your life.

Just yesterday I heard a man tell the story of how he went from being $285,000 in debt to becoming a millionaire in less than 3 years. When the interviewer asked him to give the biggest lessons he had learned in the process he said two things:

He got his priorities straight. He put God first, then his wife, children, followed by his work. Up to that time, work had been priority #1.

He devoted himself to developing the right skills to succeed.

He said those two steps were the most important in going from huge debt to huge prosperity.

Though this book is not directly about his first point (right priorities), I totally agree that what we prioritize is of major importance. We simply do not have time to do everything so we have to choose what is most important and major in doing those things first. If we choose wisely and then focus our efforts on living out those priorities, we have a great chance of living the lives we desire.

This book does focus on the 2nd point; personal development. Ithink we’re all familiar with the name Warren Buffett. We know he is one of the wealthiest men in the world and made his billions through investments. This Medal of Freedom winner – was recently asked what he considered to be the best investment anyone could make in these challenging times.

His answer was quick and simple …

“The most important investment you can make is in yourself.”

I totally agree. Think about it, the best investment you can ever make is in your own personal development. Being selfish isn’t your goal; however, if you want to do something positive for the world you must have something positive to give. For example, if you see a hungry person but have no food, you cannot feed him. But if you have food, then you can.

Here is a very important principle:

To help you must have. Let me say it again, to help you must have (something).

To give food you must have food. To give love you must first have love. To give expertise you must first have expertise. Once you have, even a little, you can develop it and give it which in turn releases the whole process of increase.

The more we have, the more we can give. The more we can give, the more we can change things. What’s more, the more we give, the more we receive, the more we can give, and so it goes. This cycle of receiving and giving is one of the universal laws that govern life. The Bible refers to it as sowing and reaping and it is just as true today as it has ever been.

We live in really uncertain times. The housing crash, on-going terrorism threats, high unemployment, and regular lay-offs highlight the fact that the world around us cannot offer us great security and certainty. Far too many have experienced how quickly once considered solid investments, assets, or even organizations can fall apart or disappear. The current average worker will change jobs over 8 times in their work career. There are very few in these times who work their entire career for one firm. You have little to no control over what policies the powers that be make. You cannot count on them to have your best interests at heart.

However, what you develop in yourself is in YOU. For good or bad, what is in you and me, we will take with us wherever we go. You will take it with you; it will be with you in whatever you do. It is one of the few really certain investments, paying increasing dividends year-after-year, no matter what the economy, the government, or people around you are doing.

If you want to achieve more with your life, if you want to improve your business, your leadership, your thinking, your ministry, or your relationships; you most certainly can! Even if you do not consider yourself book smart (as is the case for many entrepreneurs & very successful people), you have an enormous capacity for learning new concepts, for growing positive attitudes and shrinking negative ones, for developing new skills and changing your life. I love what author/speaker Jim Rohn once said, “If you do not like the way things are, change it. You are not a tree.”

The research is in, and it’s overwhelming. You can change. You are not doomed to live forever with lack or negatives dominating your life. You do not have to stay at the same level year after year; you can make significant, observable, on-going progress. Now obviously, you cannot change everything about yourself nor should you try. After all, you are a unique, one-of-a kind God creation here to do things only you can do. You were born with a basic temperament that does not change. You were born with certain abilities and aptitudes, which can and should be developed, but there are simply some things you are going to be better at that others. Some things you cannot change and, thankfully, don’t have to. HOWEVER, in the areas of your life that can change and should change; be very encouraged. On-going, observable, significant progress is very doable. That is what this course/book is about. Helping you understand the essential principles and practices of growth, development, and change.

What you need to know about this book.

The books I write are for achievement-minded, busy people who want to improve their leadership; especially people interested in business and/or ministry.

The book itself and the chapters are intentionally short and to the point. If you like to learn, and I hope you do, read more books on these topics. What I do is to give you what I consider to be the most important points on these topics, not a comprehensive dissertation.

The steps I give you do not take long. It really is true, if you practice what I’m teaching you here, it should take on average 10 minutes a day, 5 days per week. (For faster results you can do more if you like, but it’s not necessary).

I am a devoted Christ follower, so that will come out. However, this is not a Christian spiritual growth book, rather the focus is on helping all people learn simple and easy to remember concepts for personal growth, development, and change. If you are interested in knowing more about how faith helps us develop, read the last chapter. If not, skip it.

In most chapters there will be a suggested action step or questions to work through. I would encourage you to go through all the materials first, just let it hit level 1 on your thinking, then go back and work through the sections that apply most to you.

Work through the questions and then take the steps that are laid out for you.

As you practice, feel free to adjust it so it fits you well. We are all a little bit different so there is some variation as to what works best with whom.

On my website there are free worksheets that accompany the chapters. If you would like to use those go to www.markfurlongcoaching.com and go to Free Resources.

There are 4 main steps I work through with you; there is a 5th that is optional, although for me it’s the most important.

Chapter 1 is about the Foundational Beliefs that are necessary for great personal development. What you believe to be true is the most influential factor in your behavior. We will look at some of the most important beliefs for growth.

Chapter 2 covers Preparation. Taking a few steps to prepare for your daily practices will save time and increase results. In this section you will learn what those steps are.

Chapter 3 is about the actual development Practices you will use on a regular basis. These 4 clear and simple, practices are incredibly effective in actually adding the knowledge, skills, character, or thinking attributes you need to succeed.

In Chapter 4 you will learn about Enhancers that make your Big 4 practices even more effective. I call them “enhancers” because just like you can add enhancers to improve taste or increase gas mileage, these steps can be used to make the Big 4 even more effective in your life. You pick and choose which of these you find most productive.

Chapter 5 is for those interested in how Faith in God helps with the whole process. As a pastor, business man, and people developer, I have found Jesus’ teachings to be extremely valuable in personal growth and development. I would encourage you to go through it at least once and see if it resonates with you.

Let’s get started.

CHAPTER 1. FOUNDATIONAL BELIEFS

“If you don’t see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.” Zig Ziglar

“Man’s greatness lies in the power of his thought.” Pascal

“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to the solution.” David Joseph Schwartz

“We use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60%.” Ellen Degeneres

“You can’t shrink your way to greatness!” Seth Godin

“Everything is permissible—but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive.” Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 10:23)

BELIEF #1: PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT IS THE CORE OF ACHIEVEMENT

Have you ever eaten an apple and by accident eaten some or most of the core? I know a few people like the taste, but for most of us, it tastes awful. Why? Apple seeds don’t taste good and the seeds are in the core.

The center of the earth is called, the core. The heart of any organization is called “the core group.” The essence of who we are as individuals is often described as “who you are at your core.”

Webster’s dictionary defines core as:

The central part of fleshy fruit; containing the seeds.

The central, innermost, or most essential part of anything.

Just like apples need the seeds of the core to reproduce and the central, innermost, most essential part of anything is the core; so personal development is the core of on-going achievement.

All great leader/achievers exhibit certain traits and take certain actions. The way I describe and remember these essential actions is this way: Dream It, Design It, Do It, and Direct It. As a matter of fact, I am writing a series of short books and developing training and coaching programs on each of those topics because I know that if I can help people do those things well, they will be more successful and fulfilled, lives will be impacted and the world can get better. But at the core of dreaming, designing, doing and directing is DEVELOPING. Personal development impacts all that we are and all we do. The more a person develops themselves the better they will dream, design, do, and direct. This all works together in an achievement cycle where the dreaming, designing, doing, and directing then end up shaping and developing us. Jim Rohn correctly said, “We make the dream and then the dream makes us.” We need all of them, but the core is development.

Leadership expert John Maxwell uses the phrase “Law of the Lid.” It simply means that an organization will rise to the level of its leadership, no higher. Best-selling author Jim Collins says the same thing. The research done by his team for each of us his books found that the quality of leadership of any organization is one of the most, if not the most important factors in how well it does. The same is true of us, whether we are leading a family, a small business, a team, a church, school, or government; how high it rises and how far it goes depends heavily on the level of our development and the quality of our leadership.

To lead others well, we must learn to lead ourselves well. High achievers know that if they are going to succeed in realizing their dreams, they must invest in and develop themselves to the highest level possible. In a very real sense, we are the key to our dreams, and if we are leaders, we play a key role in helping others achieve their goals and dreams.

Investing strongly in ourselves is vital. It is the best and most important investment we can make.

Through the years I have had the privilege of working with and interacting with CEO’s, successful entrepreneurs, mega-church pastors, governmental leaders, professional athletes, musicians, and more. I am an avid student of leadership and achievement so I have read more books than I would like to admit. Without exception those who lead the best and achieve the most invest heavily in their own personal development.

I am not advocating narcissism. I am not encouraging self-centered living. I am making the case that if we want to build something significant that will help people and impact the world we must develop ourselves to be the best we can be. PhD Sherri Buffington has worked with executives and business leaders for years. From her research she has found that 88% of the population wants someone to lead them. 12% of the population wants to lead but only 3% of those lead well. When we look at the state of our world, I believe those statistics.

The health of a family depends heavily on the leadership of the parents. The health of a small business depends on the leadership of the owner and managers. The health of a church, school, or society depends a great deal on the quality of leadership being demonstrated. You can almost hear the groan of our world, “give us quality leaders.”

I don’t care what anyone says, even for those who have very strong, natural leadership gifts, being a great leader is challenging. If it weren’t, great leadership would be the rule rather than the exception. Author and executive coach Marshal Goldsmith wrote a best seller entitled What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. People that read the book often made comments to him about the dumb things people he wrote about did. Goldsmith said these critics do not realize that the stories he gave were typically about people with IQ’s of over 150 who were heading up large companies. Yet, these very intelligent, motivated, skilled, experienced leaders did really dumb things. That makes me feel better because I’ve had my share of knuckle-headed moments.

Although the main categories and principles of leadership can be described in simple words and concepts, there are hundreds of sub-categories of needed skills needed to lead well. If hearing the words, “hundreds of skills”, make you feel overwhelmed or discouraged, take a deep breath and relax. Human beings have an amazing capacity to learn and if you just learn 2 major and 3 minor skills a year, in just 10 years you will be ahead of 90% of the population. And you can keep progressing decade after decade. These skills are very learnable and the needed traits to lead well can and are being developed in people every day. I do want to make the point; to lead well, to achieve well, and to build something that will positively impact our world; you must make investing in yourself a priority. It does not “just happen”; at least long-term and consistently.

One of the realities of life is: you can only give what you have. No matter how badly you want to help a person or a cause, if you have nothing to give you cannot help.

To help you must have.

When you have it you can give it, but if you do not have you cannot give. The the law of sowing and reaping has for thousands of years proven true: what we sow we will eventually reap, then we sow more, reap more, sow more reap more and our quality of life, work, and impact keeps increasing.

Before we move on to the next section, let me encourage you with this. The research is overwhelming; you can develop yourself in a very powerful way. You can add what you need to do your great work and to live a great life. In chapters 2-4 I’ll share with you the principles and practices to see that happen. But before we get there I want to cover six more essential beliefs.

QUESTIONS:

Are you convinced that investing in yourself must be a priority?

What is one thing you can do today to make progress?

As we finish belief #1, say this with me three times.

Investing in my development is not selfish; it is the best investment I can make to help others.

BELIEF #2: YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE GREAT

I love watching the Olympics. We get to see the most amazing athletes. One thing that is very noticeable is the variety of body types. Swimmers are generally long and lean, and many have relatively long torsos. Shot putters have large, thick bodies. Gymnasts are generally short and very muscular. On and on it goes. In the Olympics you see that how we are made determines a great deal, what we will excel in doing.

You don’t see huge, 300 pound gymnasts and you don’t see 4’10” men basketball players.

I believe, God put us all here for specific reasons. He gave us the right abilities and aptitudes to be great in fulfilling our purposes. Makes sense right? Just like none of us would put a 5 foot athlete on the basketball team to compete against people 6’6’ and above, God does not put us here to do something we do not have the ability to do.

That leads to the second of our foundational beliefs.

You have what it takes to be GREAT at what you were put here to do.

You do not need to be great at everything.

I would encourage you to take a moment and say that statement to yourself out loud. (There are reasons for it, which we’ll get to in chapter 4).

Please say it to yourself one or two more times and personalize it.

I have what it takes to be GREAT at what I was put here to do.

I do not need to be great at everything.

Saying those words with even a little bit of conviction helps you feel more positive and liberated. You already know there are some areas of life you are never going to be great at, so feel free to get out from under the crushing pressure of focusing your energies there. Don’t concentrate all your effort trying to build your life on a constant area of weakness or limitation. No one, including you can be great at everything. You do; however, have amazing strengths, gifts, and abilities packaged in a very unique way. They are not fully developed because as long as you live, you can keep improving, changing, and getting better; but those strengths are there. Those strengths are what you should build your work and service on.

There is a balance here, though, isn’t there? “Build on my strengths”; that’s right. “Don’t spend all my time trying to develop areas of little talent”; that’s right. “But even in my areas of giftedness and calling, I have weaknesses that need to be developed and improved upon in order for me to lead and achieve well.” And, even though I should concentrate on my areas of strength as far as work, leadership, and mission go I still need to develop in areas of character weakness. Being harsh, critical, angry, or cowardly should not be ignored; they need to be part of our development plan if we have trouble with them. These weaknesses will actually hinder us from achieving, leading, and impacting the world for good. Perhaps I could say it best this way:

As far as work, mission, and leadership go I should focus my energies on developing my strengths.

As far as character goes, I need to focus on improving key areas of weakness.

That is the balance. In our areas of responsibility, calling, and giftedness we are to work on development. Even within our areas of strength, there are aspects of lack which we all have. If we can improve in these areas, and we can, then our levels of leadership and achievement will keep rising. Areas of character weakness should also be identified and worked on.

QUESTIONS:

Are you clear on your areas of giftedness and abilities? If so, what are your 2 or 3 strongest abilities?

Do you feel the freedom to build on your strengths and not have to do it all?

What areas of character do you most need to work on?

As we finish belief #2, say this with me three more times.

I have what it takes to be GREAT in my calling. I do not have to be great at everything.

BELIEF #3: YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO IMPROVE

It is a fact: as soon as a person believes they cannot do something; the chances of them doing it almost disintegrate. The converse is also true: if a person believes they can do something the chance of them succeeding multiplies dramatically. So do yourself a favor, make a decision to believe you can grow and change. Decide to believe that:

You have what it takes to grow, change, and develop in your area of giftedness, calling, and humanity.

Take just a moment and say that with me a couple of times, first person.

I have what it takes to grow, change, and develop in my areas of giftedness, calling, and humanity. One more time.

The research and experience that statement is based upon is overwhelmingly encouraging. I know every single leader/achiever can make incredible changes in their lives and leadership. YOU NEED TO KNOW YOU CAN CHANGE because, even though it is very doable, change and growth are sometimes uncomfortable. Remember the phrase “growing pains”? It stretches us to make improvements and stretching can be uncomfortable until the next level of flexibility is stabilized. I remember doing summer workouts between high school and college. The university football program sent all incoming players a workout schedule they wanted us to follow. Along with weight training and running, was a stretching program. I could not believe how much more flexible I got over the summer; doing stretches every day. But the stretching was always a little bit uncomfortable. I would pull or push to the place of discomfort and then hold it for 20 seconds. Most of the time, even within that 20 second time frame there would be a little relief. Day after day, a little at a time, what was once uncomfortable became very comfortable as my body gradually adjusted. The same happens as we stretch and grow in our character, skills, attitude, and knowledge.

It is important to realize most of the time change does not happen as quickly as we would like (don’t we all want it right now?). Everyone goes through times where they wonder if they can really change what needs to change. Can I really learn this? Can I master this new skill? Can I become more confident? Again, the research, the countless stories, and some of your own experience tell you; you really can develop and make those important improvements.

Some high-achievers read those words and say, “That’s exactly right, I do have what it takes. If I dream it I can achieve it.” That type of thinking helps many people achieve great things. It is far better to think that way, than “I can’t change; I will never be successful.” But most strength’s can also be weaknesses. Studies have shown that people who have done well in their careers have a tendency to overestimate how good they are and how much talent they have. It is one of the traits that have helped them gain confidence and confidence helps all of us succeed.

As true as that is, there is the other side of the “confidence” battle. You also need to know that everyone, at some level, at some time, even those who are at the top of their respective fields, battle the thoughts, that they do not have what it takes to be successful. Yes, even Mr. Outgoing, Confident, Alpha Male personality at some point battles insecurity and wonders if they can do it. It happens so often that psychologists have given it a name: “The Imposter Syndrome.” Interviews with many high level executives and top managers make clear they often fear they will be found out. One high level executive admitted, “I fear every day they will find out I don’t know as much as they think I do. I really should not be in this position.” Yet, this person ended up being a big success at that very position. EVERYONE feels this at some point in their lives. This is especially true when stepping into a new area of service or responsibility.

So here we have a key insight on the inner thoughts of leader/achievers. “I am really good at what I do. If I’m honest, I think I do it better than most. On the other hand, I have times where I feel like an imposter and am worried that people will find out I don’t know what I’m doing.” Aren’t people great? Just know, if you have both of these thoughts, you are pretty normal.

It has been rightly noted that for many, many people the hardest part is getting started. A rocket uses the highest percentage of its fuel getting launched. The first few years of getting a new business or church started are the most energy demanding times for the founder. This is when it is common to hear the whispers in our minds, “This will never work. Who do you think you are to do this? You do not have enough money, talent, time, or experience to pull this off. You are too young, too old, too short, or too tall. You do not have enough education, you have too much education, no one has ever done it this way before, or everyone is already doing this.” If you are human, and I believe you are, and you have ever taken a step in a new and important direction, then you have heard those voices. The underlying power behind all of this is fear.

Every single one of us battles fear in some form. No human is exempt from this force. It is what we do with it that counts. Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” There seems to be no limit to the number of fears available to people, phobias can take almost every shape and form. But the fear I want to re-emphasize as we look at this topic of development, growth, and change is this big one. “I (fear) I do not have what it takes to grow and change so I can succeed.”

This is what you must know: if you have the ability to think then you have the ability to grow and change. God has made you with the ability to do what He put you here to do. He is a GREAT coach and He knows best how to place us for success. Yes it must be developed and grown but it is there, at a minimum, in seed form. People who say they have no discipline actually have at least a little. Everyone disciplines themselves to do things they do not feel like doing at some point otherwise they would only get out of bed when they feel like it, eat whatever and whenever they want, punch anyone they get mad at, and just do what they feel like moment by moment throughout the day. As crazy as our world can be, I have never met anyone who lives completely by their immediate feelings. Everyone demonstrates some measure of self-control. If you can do it at all, if you have even one time exercised the trait you need to succeed it means it is in you and can be developed!

My experience in working personally with hundreds of people over several decades has proven you have what it takes to develop, grow, and change in areas of consequence. You can develop what you need to build your business, grow a healthy ministry, or be a great leader if that is what you are put here to do. (If you are not sure about what you should be doing you might check out my book How to Dream, Think, and Focus Better).

QUESTIONS

Are you clear on what your areas of strength and focus should be? Are you giving your greatest efforts to those areas? If not, what steps can you take to make that shift?

Is it clear to you that you have what it takes to change and develop in your areas of calling? How have you demonstrated, at least a little, the ability to positively change?

Have you recognized any fears that are holding you back? What steps can you take to work through that fear?

As we finish belief #3, say this with me three more times.

I have what it takes to improve. It may be in seed form, but with the right steps I can change.

BELIEF #4: WHAT YOU ARE CALLED TO DO IS VERY IMPORTANT

Why do some people succeed while others do not? Why do some people press on through the hard times and the setbacks, while others do not? It does not have to do primarily with talent or resources. Many talented people fail and many starting out with nothing do something enduring and outstanding. It is not luck, because everyone has times when things just happen to go their way and times when all hell comes against them. It has to do with how people think and believe. How we think and what we believe are the greatest factors in how we behave. If we can change our thinking and believing we can change our lives. Here is another essential belief for development and accomplishment:

What you are called to do is very important.

We understand why bad people want positions of power. They use their power for selfish gain. Why do good people want positions of power? Sure, there are often the benefits of greater income, which leads to more choices, and influence, fame, praise, purpose, people, etc. There are also the pressures, the critics, the temptations, the times of uncertainty, and the very real possibility of hurting a lot of people through a bad decision. I think the reason good people want leadership is because they believe what they are doing or want to do is really important. At their core, they believe this deeply.

What will see an entrepreneur through those hard seasons of getting a business off the ground? What will see them through the times when they have not hired soon enough or hired the wrong people and the business is getting calls from irate customers? What will see the pastor through when a new, flashier church has started right down the street and many from his church are going to check it out and end up staying? All that hard work, helping people, and now they head down the road leaving gaping holes in key departments. What will see him or her through?

We must believe that what we are doing is important. We can’t fight for something we consider insignificant. Only a nut-job digs in and fights for something they consider value less. I can’t imagine ever giving a great effort to protect mosquitoes, but I will give it my best to help people do their great work with excellence and joy. Why? Because I think it’s really, really important that everyone does their best to live out the reason they were put here.

Do you believe what you are doing is very important?

If you cannot say a definitive “yes”; then you have not yet found or are not yet doing your main purpose. (I’ll plug it again here and then stop; checkout my kindle book How to Dream, Think, and Focus Better for clarity on this foundational topic.)

If you can say “yes”; then congratulations! You are already have greater personal insight than over 80% of our population.

QUESTIONS:

Do you believe what you are doing is very important? If not, what could you be doing that is?

If yes, why do you think it’s important?

As we finish this section on belief #4, say this with me 3 times.

What I am called to do is important. There are people who desperately need what I have to give.

BELIEF #5: WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DO IT

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:36

A few years ago I was at a conference on church planting. One of the main speakers said something that has stuck with me ever since. He said, “Great churches believe they can change the world.” As I thought about it more, the more I became convinced he was right. I also became convinced this was true, not only of great churches, but of any individual or organization. They believe they can do something to change themselves and the world. So let me ask you:

Do you believe it can be done?

Sure, everyone goes through times of discouragement and faces the temptation of giving up the fight; but they find a way to hope and believe it really can happen.

In his best-selling book 1776, Pulitzer-prize winner David MaCallum wrote about the first year of the Revolutionary War. I was so impressed by our founding fathers, especially George Washington’s, commitment and faith in their cause. Washington was losing badly at the beginning of the war. He made several major mistakes that had serious consequences. Despite those costly mistakes, he kept the faith. He even had contingency plans, in case they were defeated by the British army, to retreat to the Allegheny Mountains and start all over again. He believed, despite the repeated failures and defeats that it could be done if they persevered. One of his favorite quotes was, “Perseverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.” We know he was right.

Christianity started with just 11 men and has continued to grow to well over a billion people as it continues to impact the world 2,000 years later. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his team started small. Wal-Mart started with Sam Walton. Microsoft started with Bill Gates and Paul Allen. Great movements and great organizations always start small with an idea or a dream. People begin to unite around that idea and dream and once it hits a tipping point, some part of our world changes.

With the dream, there has to be some measure of faith that it can happen. No one can give a great effort, for an extended period of time, if they do not believe their effort is accomplishing something. Even if a person or group realizes their efforts are mainly preparing the way for future success or for future generations, to give a significant effort, they have to believe their efforts are accomplishing something important.

Where do you get that faith? Here are 5 ways:

From understanding that everything starts small, as an idea. A small seed turns into a redwood. Jesus often described God’s kingdom in “seed” terms.

From realizing, it just takes the right mix and blend for something powerful to happen: it does not have to take a lot of people or resources. (H20, nuclear power, contacts with the right people). Jesus said, we just two or three.

From reading and hearing stories of change movements. If it happened before it can happen again. Hebrews 11, “the faith chapter”, is filled with faith stories.

From being around people of faith and commitment. There are people accomplishing important things everywhere, everyday. Proverbs 13:20 tells us who we associate with rubs off on us.

From faith in God. Nothing is impossible with Him. Mark 11:22-24.

QUESTIONS

Do you believe you can change things?

Why or why not?

What steps will you take to increase your faith and determination level?

We’ve just finished belief #5. Let’s keep up our practice of saying the following statement three times. (You can do this more often throughout the day if you like/ a couple times a day would be great. It only takes a few seconds but is a powerful practice.)

I can do it as I stick with it.

BELIEF #6: KEEP IT SIMPLE

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13c-14.

Entrepreneurial business and life Coach, Dan Sullivan, talks about “the ceiling of complexity.” He makes the very valid point that life, especially for someone starting and running a new business, venture, service, or ministry can easily get overwhelming; there is simply so much to do. Dan states that entrepreneurs get stalled, frustrated, and overwhelmed when things get too complex, having to deal with too many issues. This overwhelm becomes a ceiling to the growth of their endeavor and the quality of their life, a “ceiling of complexity.” The only way to break through this ceiling is to make things continually simpler and more focused. I don’t have time to go through that process here with you, but I agree. To be our best, to accomplish the most, and still have quality lives we need to build in steps so we are continually focusing more and more on the few things we do really well and build a team around us where others are doing the same. We will all be happier and more productive.

That is what the apostle Paul did. He talked about “one thing.” There are many components to that “one thing”, but breaking things down into the essentials, necessities, or foundations helps us break through the ceiling of complexity that holds us back.

In regards to personal development, there are just a few main areas you need to keep in mind There are many sub-points to each of these, enough that we can keep growing the rest of our lives; but keeping these 4 areas in focus helps keep the overwhelm away and helps us live and work more productively and peacefully. Here they are:

Knowledge. Benjamin Franklin said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” Peter Drucker said, “Today knowledge has power. It controls access to opportunity and advancement.”

The great thing about knowledge, particularly in our internet world, is having access to it is easier than at any time in history. Getting the right information is another matter; but it is there. The more knowledge we gain the more power we have. A good friend of mine, Billy Hornsby had a great track record in building powerful organizations and always managed to get a lot of important work done. He once said to me, “All things being equal the person with the best knowledge or information wins.” I agree, keep learning and keep gaining knowledge one of your big 4 focuses.

Thinking/Believing. It is one thing to have information and knowledge; it is another to be able to use it effectively. Building on my friend’s insight, if knowledge is about equal, the person who thinks the best wins. Creativity, imagination, and figuring out how to use the information we have gained are skills that can be developed and improved upon. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Steve Jobs said, “Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things.” Peter Drucker said one of the essentials of a successful business is innovation and that requires good thinking. There are several ways to improve thinking, creativity, and imagination. Make this a key category of growth and it will help you achieve and lead better.

Character Traits. There are certain traits that help us succeed no matter what we are doing and other traits that are specific to our particular calling. All of us need integrity, courage, determination, empathy, joy, peace, love, self-control, patience, etc. Surgeons and accountants need to be very detailed and specific. None of us wants someone operating on us who says, “Aw, that’s good enough.” We want it to be just right and that takes focus and detail. An executive needs to be able to lead in such a way as to inspire trust. Part of the trust factor has to do with the integrity of that leader. Good people don’t want to follow a liar or a cheat. William J. Wilson said, “But the person who scored well on an SAT will not necessarily be the best doctor or the best lawyer or the best businessman. These tests do not measure character, leadership, creativity, or perseverance.” An amazing fact; there is no correlation between high SAT scores and financial success. There is a really high correlation between attitude and financial accomplishment. If you are a great student, fantastic! If you are not, you can still excel! Make adding positive character traits one of your top growth goals and it will take you far. Again, positive character traits can be developed. What you are lacking you can add.

Skills. I love Seth Godin’s challenge to all of us. “Why be average? Why not be great? Average does not cut it anymore; actually it never did.” People with great skills, in just about any endeavor, are sought after. Think about it; people make a really good living riding skateboards, drawing, speaking, planning, writing, telling jokes, tasting food, driving cars, and even eating hot-dogs. If you get good enough at something and figure out a way to let people know about it; you can do well financially in this culture. So, what is it that you can be really good at? What is it that you would do for free if you were independently wealthy already? Keep developing those skills and you can improve your life and work significantly.

Use these four categories as a planning tool for what you should be working on. You will be amazed at how far they take you in just a few years.

QUESTIONS

Do you have a doable plan for increasing your knowledge, thinking, character, and skills?

If not, start thinking about it and put a few ideas down today.

We’ve just finished belief #6. Let’s say this 3 times together:

I will focus my greatest efforts on a few things at a time. There is power in concentration

BELIEF #7: COMMITMENT IS KEY

Thankfully a lot of change happens without great conscious effort. How many of us had the mostly negative experience of having a relatively unknown aunt pinch our cheek after not seeing us for several years, shaking it and saying, “My, you have grown so much.” I say mostly negative because, true it never felt good having those old hands lock onto our cheek and shake it around; but, there was the encouraging news that we were actually growing. Even though most guys want to grow faster, we never really had to work at it. Eating food, sleeping, and going about our daily activities and change just happened. Sweet!

On the other hand, a lot of change does not happen without some focused effort. Learning, for most of us, takes a lot of repetition and mental expansion. Developing new skills takes effort. If Macolm Gladwell was right, as he wrote in his best-seller Outliers, it typically takes around 10,000 hours of practice to excel at a particular skill. That is a lot of time and effort; over 400, twenty-four hour days of pure practice.

As I shared earlier, research is conclusive; most leaders think they are better than they actually are. When asked to rank themselves, over 90% of leaders from most every field rank themselves in the top 5-20% in their field. Isn’t that funny? (Side note: the worst are physicians and the most accurate are athletes and politicians.) Almost all business leaders rank themselves as being near the top of their profession; they think they are doing great. When their co-workers are asked to assess their boss’ leadership, they agree. They say, “He thinks he’s great.”

What does 10,000 hours of practice and thinking we are better than we actually are have to do with the title of this section; “Commitment is Key”? It is this. To be willing to practice 10,000 hours, to get honest feedback and be willing to receive it requires this one big, essential step:

Personal Commitment to Change

Every single coach, from business, sports, life, leadership or the arts will tell you the number one factor in any person’s success journey is their personal commitment to growth and change. God’s word encourages us to give ourselves, completely, as a living sacrifice to God and then to work at the transformation process. A person could have all the resources needed, all the talent in the world, a great environment, incredible training and support, and amazing opportunities but if they are not committed to doing what it takes to succeed (and that means grow, change, and develop) then it will not happen. On the other hand, once a person makes that solid, determined decision to do whatever it takes; the chances of eventual success skyrocket. There is truly a day and night difference in results when a person takes responsibility for their life and makes that solid, determined commitment.

Some personal development exercises are actually fun and pleasant. Others are uncomfortable, for a time; until new habits and patterns are formed. We do not work through the uncomfortable times unless we have made a commitment. Thankfully, every new skill or habit does not take 10,000 hours of practice, but there are some that do. You need to know that going in. There is no way around it. If a person wants to excel at what they do they will have to work at it. The goal is to find something we enjoy doing, then the practice and effort required are mostly energizing rather than draining, but even then it will require effort. It will require doing what is important even when we do not feel like it. Author, sales expert, and business consultant Chet Holmes called it “Pig-Headed Discipline.” There will be times when what we are doing will be challenged; by circumstances, people, our bank account, and most the difficult challenge of all, our own thoughts and emotions. All of these can be overcome and are overcome all the time by people just like you and me; IF, there is a solid commitment to grow, change, and develop. Others can help, but no one can do it for us. We are the only ones who can answer this question:

Is it worth it to me to commit to this change?

How many laps does an Olympic swimmer need to swim to win a medal? How often does a musician need to practice to excel? How many hours does a med student need to study to master the material? How many sales calls does a salesman need to make to reach his sales goals? How many hours does a pastor need to pray, plan, and meet with people to build a healthy church? How many meetings does a manager need to have with individuals to build a great team? How many times does a leader need to take steps to show people they matter to him as people and not just as the means to an end? Again, the question only you can answer:

Is it worth it to you to do what it takes to change and succeed?

Real change is very, very doable. People are making amazing changes every day. It is possible; it is probable if

You make a solid commitment to change.

QUESTIONS

Are you willing to make a great commitment to personal growth and development?

Is your commitment level at least an 8 on a scale of 10? If not, what needs to happen to get it that high?

As I’m sure you’ve figured out, saying what we desire is a proven, powerful tool in helping us improve and develop. It is one of the Big 4 practices we’ll look at in Chapter 3. If you haven’t done so yet, it would be helpful to go to www.PowerfulPersonalDevelopment.com and print out these statements for you use.

Let’s say this with as much energy as we can, 3 times: Today I will give it my best.”

CHAPTER 2. PREPARATION

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I shall spend the first four sharpening the ax.” Abraham Lincoln

“Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker

“Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.” 1 Timothy 4:17 (The Message Translation)

STEP 1. SELECT PREPARATION

Any start-up requires a period of preparation. Whether it is a business, a church, or a new personal or organizational project, we need to get ready for it. Sure, there are emergency times when we don’t have a lot of time to think and an immediate response is required, but even then, the preparations we have or have not made prior to that emergency will determine to a great extent how effective we are. Emergencies are unavoidable, but the number of them can be drastically reduced and our effectiveness during them greatly increased by good preparation. This is definitely true of personal growth and development. Taking the time to prepare for growth, even though it does take some time and effort, will in the long run save time and definitely improve results.

Abraham Lincoln said, “If you give me six hours to chop down a tree, I will spend the first four hours sharpening the ax.” As a kid I spent some time on my grandparent’s farm. I guess due to watching wild-west frontier films, I went through a short phase of ax-chopping. I would take my grandfather’s ax and chop wood or chop down small trees he wanted removed from his land. I quickly learned a few things. First, this was a lot harder and a lot less glamorous than it looked on TV and in the movies. Second, technique made a huge difference. When chopping wood, using the right technique made it so much quicker and easier. Third, having a sharp ax was critical. At the time I did not know the words of Lincoln and my grandfather didn’t tell me about the benefits of a sharp ax until after I had been laboring for a while. It took time to sharpen the ax but the results were so much better, actually saving time and effort, after that initial investment.

I am sure you have done some type of home project. If you have never done it before and do not have instructions on how to do it, I guarantee you will make several trips to the store to get supplies you need to complete the job. Those extra trips cost us time and energy. How much better is it if you have a checklist before you start? Yes, it takes time to compile or download and go through the list, but again, it ends up saving time and energy. The same is true in your personal development. If you take a little time (and I really do mean very doable amounts of time, even for the busiest person), in the long run (and most of the time in the short term as well), you will see greater results in less time.

I am by no means a skilled investor, but I do know to get a return there must first be an initial investment. Without that investment we get no return. It costs us something up front, but if it is a good investment, we will get more back from it than what we put into it.

The next few pages we’re going to look at how to prepare for taking simple but powerful development steps. The amount of time and energy you invest up front is not heavy, just a couple of hours at the most, but they will help you get so much more out of the practices given in chapter 3. Let’s sharpen that ax.

STEP 2. SCHEDULE IT

How many times have you reconnected with an old friend or colleague and said, “Let’s get together some time”? Even if you both really meant it (not just saying it be polite), how often does it actually happen? How about never? The only time it happens is when it is put on the calendar. Research shows that we really are creatures of habit. Most of the work, most people do, is routine. We get up a certain time, eat at a certain time, go home, hang out with the same people in the same place, go to church and sit in the same area most of the time. Unless change is forced upon us, most of us settle into as comfortable a routine as we can.

But now, for whatever reason, we realize we need to change. If we are motivated to be and do our best and to live out our purpose and calling, we realize we need to keep improving and making progress. If we want to improve a meaningful relationship or advance in our careers or start a new career, change is required. Change, however, is an intrusion in our comfortable norm. If we want to add something that is presently lacking, that means something else must go. We all have 24 hours in a day; that cannot be increased, so we have to decide what is most important to us and then schedule our time accordingly.

Here is an almost universal truth; people who are achieving and leading well, schedule and use their time wisely; according to their priorities. It has been rightly said, “If you want to know what is important to a person, check their calendar and their bank/credit card statement.” If you are serious about developing yourself SCHEDULE IT. Make your routine and calendar work for you. Here is my recommendation for personal growth for someone with an already full schedule:

Monthly: 1-2 hours for personal planning. We will go over what to do in the next pages.

Weekly: 20-60 minutes for planning and goal setting.

Daily: 10 minutes.

Study 1 hour per day: (if you don’t have the time to sit and study, LISTEN to materials as you drive, workout, do manual labor, etc.) If you use travel, exercise, manual labor times, everyone can fit it an hour a day.

If you so desire, you can obviously spend more time on any of the practices we will discuss in chapter 3, but in this case, consistency is most important. There are occasional times where it’s appropriate to feast, but for long-term health eating balanced portions rather than gorging is better. That is definitely true of significant growth and development. A little every day or so is much better than an hour or more once per week.

ACTION STEP

Take out a calendar and schedule your monthly, weekly, and daily growth times.

STEP 3. SORT IT

You are probably aware of the term “hoarder.” I’m not sure the exact definition or how these people would be diagnosed psychologically, but it basically refers to people who don’t get rid of stuff. They fill their homes with so much that it becomes hard to walk or work. They currently have a TV show about such people. When I was in college a group of us helped an elderly “hoarder” move to another home. She did let us throw away tons of stuff, but within a couple of years her beautiful new home had filled up again so that looked as messed up as the previous one.

In order to function, in order to manage information, in order to perform well, we all need some type of system to dispose of unneeded materials, while keeping important items. This is true of our homes and offices, and especially true of our minds and souls. This is more important than ever because of the exponentially increasing amount of information and options that keep coming our way. Every day I receive emails from talented people letting me know about the great services and systems they offer to help me succeed in some area of business or life. So many of them look great and if I had the time and ability to implement them, plus the money, I would purchase more of them. The key point, however, is implementation. I know there are people a whole lot smarter than me, who are able to accomplish much more than I can in the same amount of time. Nevertheless, even they can only do so much in a 24 hour period. I do not know what your speed of learning and doing is, but this I know for sure, there is too much coming your way to do it all. That is why all of us have to figure out a way to sort.

The best way to do this is to make a list of the categories of life and work that are most important to you (5-10). Some, maybe most of them will stay the same for most of your life, but putting it down on paper will help you make decisions much more easily as to what to “save” and what to trash. Prioritize and systematize help you harmonize what you will be giving attention and effort to.

Just this morning I was reading more of Tim Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Work. In one section he writes about working with a group of executives. In the course of this training many of them realized they had given away far too much control of their lives to other people. Even though they were the person in charge of their company or team, they saw that they had unintentionally given away some key areas of control. They were not living the lives they wanted to live or doing work the way they would like to do it. And they were the people in charge! So, they began taking steps to get back control and to more fully live according to their values, goals, and priorities. The difference it made in their energy, motivation, and performance at work and home was significant.

There is a passage in the Bible that warns us about “drifting” away from the faith. What is true of faith is true of living and working authentically and powerfully. It is so easy to “drift” with the currents of life, organizations, or society. Before we know it, we are far away from where we intended to be.

To even decide what you want to improve, you have to have some type of criteria that is in line with your values, purpose, dreams, and goals.

(Note: If you want the framework I use, go to www.MarkFurlongCoaching.com under free resources: “Great Life Planner.”

ACTION STEP

Make a list of the 5-10 categories that are most important to you right now; family, relationships, God, work, mission, etc.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

STEP 4.SETTLE IT

For some personality types making a decision is pretty easy. Some have the make-up to look at a situation, size it up quickly, and decide what should be done. These types of people have little patience with the majority of the population which has trouble deciding a course of action. If you are one of the decisive ones, congratulations (but don’t get too cocky about it, you have some room for improvement too). If you are one of the indecisive ones, do not beat yourself up, but don’t let yourself off the hook either.

Before we get to the gist of this section, let me make a couple of comments on this theme because I have dealt with it a lot in coaching different types of people. Just because a person is decisive, does not mean they will accomplish the most or be the best leader. I know, being decisive is an important leadership trait. But even decisiveness must be tempered. Depending on the circumstances, a smart person will take the time to get as much key information as possible before making a decision. Decisive people have ruined many an organization by making big, rash decisions. On the other hand, people who never make a decision have others make decisions for them and end up living someone else’s vision, rather than theirs. People who are too slow to decide on a course of action miss many opportunities resulting in painful regret. Typically, decisive people end up being influencers and leaders, but thoughtful and cautious people can become leaders as well if they learn to master their reluctance to choose a path. To summarize what I’m trying to say here:

Decisive people need to learn to think things through.

Cautious people need to learn to take action.

When it comes to behavioral change, the greatest results are typically seen when a person chooses ONE main area to work on at a time. A person can keep gaining knowledge in more than one area at a time and we can improve our thinking in more than one area at a time, but to improve a character trait, skill, or behavior requires focus on one goal at a time. Here is why.

Change, especially in areas of long-standing habits, often takes some real concentrated effort. On occasion, it happens quickly and easily, but most of the time it takes some focused work. Brain research tells us it takes anywhere from 21 days to 6 months to create and strengthen new neuro-connections so that those new pathways become dominant. Working on more than one at a time, slows down the process. In this case, it really is better to work on one behavior, skill, or trait and then move on to another once it becomes a natural or dominant response.

So, talk it over with those around you. Get feedback on what the top priority is for you to work on. Write it down, settle it. Do what you must to manage those other areas of needed growth, until you get to them or, if possible, have someone else do that kind of work instead of you. We are much more valuable to our team when we are spending the highest percentage of our time doing those activities for which we are most gifted.

ACTION STEP

Choose one to three areas of behavior, character, knowledge, or skill that you will work on for the next 3 weeks to 3 months. Write it down; Settle It.

STEP 5. STATE IT

Almost 33 years ago my wife and I said the words, “I do.” Those words alone are nothing special. As a matter of fact they are very ordinary. We use them in sentences all the time. “Who wants coffee?” “I do.” “Who wants to go to the store with me?” “I do.” They are two very ordinary, very common words. However, that day, said in front of family, friends, and God they carried a special meaning and power. Why? They were powerful because those two words were united with commitment.

Words united with commitment are POWERFUL.

Like every couple, we have had times of challenge. I know, there are a few couples who seem to just live in a flow of continual sweetness and happiness (don’t they just make you sick?). But the majority of us have times where it is hard to like each other and be kind to each other. Marriage can be and should be wonderful, but 99% of the people I know have gone through some rough stretches in their relationship. Two different people having different genders, family backgrounds, personalities, and experiences, living together year after year takes a real solid commitment, not just nice feelings.

I know of very few things of long-term value that happen easily, without commitment. That is why stating your specific goal both verbally and on paper is so important. You can go through all the different preparation phases and even the practice steps we will soon cover, but stating what you will commit to releases power.

One of legendary motivational speaker and corporate trainer Zig Ziglar’s biggest teaching points is goal-setting. He has a system he encourages people to use in order to achieve more with their lives. It is one of his biggest and most consistent teaching points. I remember reading a few years ago a quote by Emmet Smith (the all-time leading rusher in the history of pro football). He said a coach told him years ago, “you need to put your goal and your plan down on paper otherwise it’s just a wish.”

Years ago I expanded our patio so we had enough room for a basketball hoop. I had no idea it would be so difficult because, even though I was not having to dig very deep, I soon found out just a few inches below the surface was a layer of rock. A shovel alone would not do it, so I had to borrow a heavy, iron pry rod from a friend to break through the rock. With a great deal of sweat and effort, an inch at a time I made progress. Sparks were flying each time I hit against the stones in the ground. I eventually got there and with the help of a friend set up the frame in which to pour the concrete. Once the cement was poured, he quickly smoothed it out beautifully. Following a pretty common American tradition, I had my boys come out and write their names in the wet cement. Almost two decades later, every time I go out to that patio I see their names and the year in which the patio was enlarged.

At the beginning of any major endeavor, metaphorically speaking, the cement is still wet. This is the time to make clear what you stand for and what you are committed to living and doing. Every organization writes vision and mission statements as a guide and a unifier for great achievement. Great organizations, compared to poor ones, actually hold to their vision, mission, and value statements. They write them, commit to them, and then figure out ways to realize them. The same is true of individuals; people who live out their dreams are those who state what they are about, what they are going to do, and tie it in with commitment. As the cement hardens, those words become a permanent part of the newly created expansion and become a permanent part of your life.

Words combined with commitment are almost magical in their power. When the challenging times come, and they will, remembering those words of commitment, those statements can make all the difference. Some of the speeches and events that inspire us most remind us of the words of commitment and vision that shape and guide who we are. From the 10 Commandments, to our Constitution, to the “I have a Dream” words of Martin Luther King Jr., or the words spoken to you by a parent, teacher, coach or now, the words you state about yourself and what you will do; clear statements combined with commitment set our course.

The Old Testament prophet Habakkuk wrote, “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets that he may run who reads it.” For any group of people, having a clear, written down vision or goal helps everyone know which way to go and where to put their effort. For an individual, making a committed statement not only gives us direction, it adds power to make it happen.

ACTION STEP

Write down what you are going to work on, what you will become, and what the result(s) of these changes could be for you and those around you.

State it.

STEP 6. STUDY IT

My wife comes from a legacy of lawyers. Her grandfather was a lawyer, her brother is a lawyer, and now my oldest son is just finishing law school. I know there are a few other professions that require the level of study and preparation that attorneys have to go through, but there are not many. Having heard the first-hand accounts, law school demands what I consider an incredible amount of study. Thankfully, most of us do not have to study all the minutia of law, but if we want to become the best we can be; study is a requirement.

With knowledge comes great power, but where do we get knowledge? One of the main ways is through personal study. Brian Tracy tells people if they want to become an expert in something, study it for an hour a day and in a year or two you will know enough to be able to really help people.

What if you hate to study books? Many leaders are consistent readers, but I know of some who just do not like it. For whatever reason, reading and studying written materials does not work well for them. So they study in other ways. They study by observing (which is a powerful practice). Currently I am reading Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton’s biography. Mr. Walton was a constant innovator, but he also went out of his way to learn from others. He constantly studied his competition. He would travel around the country to see first-hand what was working in other related ventures. His wife and children said they knew that when on vacation they would still have to wait while he checked out local department and retail stores. Sam Walton was a constant student of anything related to retailing and he got some of his most profitable ideas from seeing what others were doing.

Many people have become experts in their areas of interest by listening to materials. The great thing about learning by listening is you can listen while you drive, work out, do manual labor, taking a walk, or even resting. You can also listen to the material over and over again until it becomes a part of your thinking. I know several speakers who listened to expert talks so often they could give the talk themselves without using notes. For busy people, I would highly recommend this method. How about you? Are you a student of what is important to you? Jesus once said, “If you remain in my words you will be one of my devoted followers. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Truth has the power to free us from false beliefs and limitations; but only if we KNOW IT. Knowledge of truth plays an essential role in lasting, authentic, long-term growth and development. How do we gain knowledge? Read it, hear it, discuss it, and by all means study it.

Even though this is a practice, I am including study in the preparation section because just studying will only take it to a surface level. There are many subjects I have a lot of mental knowledge about; that have yet to become strengths in my life. Study is preparation for the deeper work of the daily practices we’ll soon discuss. The practices will be short activities you can practice 5 days a week that help the things you learn and desire to actually become part of you. Knowledge is like the fuel our souls need in order to do the practices that reshape our thinking and actions.

If you like to read, along with scheduled times, use those 10-15 minute “in-between” times to read and study. One summer when I was in college I worked hauling brick for some bricklayers. For these guys, 10 hours was a short work day. If you have ever done this type of work, especially in the summer heat, you know it is very physically demanding. I got up early, always worked until dark while still helping lead a campus ministry. I just did not have the time or energy to study a lot; so I devoted 10-15 minutes each morning before work and 10-15 minutes at night. Then on weekends I would spend several hours studying. Although I could not study as much as normal, I still learned some great information in that short amount of time. Way more than if I had just thought, “What good will 10-15 minutes do me?”

ACTION STEP

Schedule study time.

Study It.

STEP 7. SUPPORT IT

After decades of personal practice in self growth and development as well as working with hundreds of people one-on-one and thousands in group settings, one of the main lessons I’ve learned is this:

No one can do it for us, but none of us can be or do our best alone.

As I’ve stated several times already the #1 factor in a person’s improvement is their personal commitment. What many do not realize is right behind it in priority is receiving the support of others. The right people and environment play a major role in growth, development, and achievement.

Yes, it is possible to be in a near perfect environment and still screw up. We all have the capacity to do really rotten things no matter how much the people around us love us, support us, and give us opportunities. There is no lack of abuse, addiction, or crime even in the best of environments. Thankfully, we can make decisions and choices which can over ride the influence of bad environment or circumstances. Every day people break out of horrible life situations and become great people doing positive work. Factor #1 is our personal commitment.

Having said that there is no doubt about it, statistically, that people in positive environments develop, grow, and achieve more than those who are not in one . In his best-selling book Outliers Malcolm Gladwell writes about success and achievement factors that are sometimes overlooked. In the book he tells the story of Chris Langan. Mr. Langan has literally an “off the chart” IQ. He is so smart, that no psychological test has effectively measured his intelligence. Yet, Langan and many others of incredible aptitude have not lived highly impactful lives. Giving many studies and examples as to why this is, Gladwell finishes this section of his book with these sentences, “He knew he needed to do a better job of navigating the world, but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t talk to his calculus teacher, for goodness sake. These were things that others, with lesser minds, could master easily. But that’s because those others had had help along the way, and Chris Langan never had. It wasn’t an excuse. It was a fact. He’d had to make his way alone, and no one—not rock stars, not professional athletes, not software billionaires, and not even geniuses—ever make it alone.”

If you are serious about being your best, you will need the help of others. You want to help people, but to do that you need to have a support base from which to give and serve. Here are a few suggestions:

It’s been often said, “Take a successful person to lunch.” Most successful people want to help others, if they are not being taken advantage of. Ask a few people who are successful in areas of life you are interested in, if you could take them to lunch and learn some of the insights that have helped them. Not everyone will say yes, but a few will, and most of the time that is all you need.

A group of people who are focused on setting and reaching goals. There is incredible power, wisdom, and encouragement when you are part of a group committed to excellence. If you can’t join one, start one.

A coach. Naturally I am partial to this one because I’ve seen how much it helps people. It is so rare to have another person focused purely on our success. It is hard to explain how powerful it can be when you have someone focusing strictly on you and working with you to help you develop a plan, get past obstacles, and make significant progress. Don’t be too proud; get the coaching you need.

Co-workers & family. Marshall Goldsmith has his executive clients announce to those around them the behavior they are working on changing and asks those colleagues and family members to support them in those changes. Doing so does several things:

Provides accountability to follow through.

Increases positive feelings from co-workers, because they’ve known for a long time we need to change and are thrilled we want to work at it.

Helps them want to change and grow which lifts the whole group.

Those you help. You need a base, but if you do not reach out to help others you will become inwardly obese. We have enough of those types around and I know that is not who you want to be. Life is built around the principle of receiving and giving. If you give and serve, you receive more so you can give more. If you do not give you shut down the whole cycle. Have a strong base of growth and support but use it to help others.

ACTION STEP

Do 1 thing to strengthen your team.

Support It.

CHAPTER 3. THE BIG 4 PRACTICES

“All companies have a culture, some companies have discipline, but few companies have a culture of discipline. When you have disciplined people, you don’t need hierarchy. When you have disciplined thought, you don’t need bureaucracy. When you have disciplined action, you don’t need excessive controls. When you combine a culture of discipline with an ethic of entrepreneurship, you get the magical alchemy of great performance.” Jim Collins

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” Steven Covey

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.” Jim Rohn

“To master anything new takes PHD: Pig Headed Discipline.” Chet Holmes

“Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24b

INTRO TO THE BIG 4 PRACTICES

Start It

Now we are going to get into the actual practices that will take the knowledge you are gaining and the goals you are setting into noticeable growth, change, and development. In this chapter we’ll talk about The Big 4 that you will use as the staple of your development practices. In chapter 4, I give you 4 Enhancers to make the Big 4 even more effective. Once you become aware of them and begin to practice them a few times, they will become very natural.

Practice always takes some discipline, but once you start doing these I think you will find most of them to be pretty enjoyable. From time to time your mind and emotions will resist some of the changes you want to make. The old way is the norm and your soul is used to responding in a certain way. Your brain has developed pathways that your thoughts are used to following. It is similar to closing down one road and opening up another. When construction takes place, there are times when dust and dirt are flying around. If, however, you take the steps I give you, along with the enhancers, experience has shown you will enjoy it most of the time and the times it is uncomfortable will soon give way to pleasure and progress. Some practices you will enjoy more than others and its fine to spend more time on them, but do use all of them at least some of the time.

The last few years there have been incredible new findings on how the brain works. I imagine that will continue because the brain is so complex and researchers tell us they have barely scratched the surface. What they are discovering, however, reinforces the practices I’ll be listing here, even though most of them have been around in some form or fashion for literally thousands of years. Those that discovered them may not have known the details of how our brain works, but they did observe how these practices helped people change. Now with research we can tweak these proven methods to make them even more effective and have greater confidence, based on credible studies, that they really do work; IF PRACTICED.

As you get started in this chapter, let me share with you one key principle and practice to use with all of these:

Consistency is more important than volume; but do make room for “volume” times.

What I’m saying is it is better to do a little 5 days per week, than doing a lot 1 day per week. The brain needs repetition to form new connections and pathways. The practices I’m giving you can be easily done in 10 minutes per day. If you can spend a little more time, that is great, but you don’t need to spend an hour a day or hours per day on these steps. After all, you have important things to do and this should help you do them better.

For best results do these exercises 2-3 times per day. Some like to do them right before or after meals. Others do them in the morning and evening. You can break them up into 2-5 minute segments and see great benefit. If you can just do it once per day for 10-12 minutes, that works too; it just takes a little bit longer to see results. I’m serious, taking these steps, with just that amount of time on a consistent basis, will produce amazing results in your life.

If these practices are new to you, add one or two a week until you have a little experience with each of them. Then pick which ones you feel work best for you and use them consistently. In time, you will become a skilled craftsman, able to make decisions on which tool to use when.

Having said consistency is more important than volume, it is still good to make time occasionally for volume. That means once a week or once every two weeks you take an hour or two in addition to your daily 10-15 minutes. Taking some extra time weekly or bi-weekly and then using short times most days has proven to be a powerful combination in causing new behaviors and skills to develop. Some people will even take a weekend or a week to get in an atmosphere of growth and change at a retreat center, a conference, or just turning off the normal distractions.

You will need some patience and perseverance (I know those are not the words we like to hear), but it does take some time to form new neuro-connections so that fresh skills, behaviors, and traits can form. But you have every reason to be SUPER encouraged! Your brain is forming new cells, thousands of them every day. Half of those 10,000 new cells are being directed to new areas of development. If you use these practices, you can direct them to the specific areas you want developed. Research, by experts like Dr. Daniel Goleman, give us such powerful reasons for hope. Even if you and I have had areas of lack, negativity, or failure, we really can change them.

How will you know it is working? When you see your stated goals start to become your natural behaviors.

That means the brain has formed new connections that are stronger than the old ones. The brain does shrink some pathways and strengthens others depending on the stimulus and input it receives. So, let’s shrink those negatives and strengthen the positives so that our desired thinking, knowing, character, and skills become reality.

PRACTICE #1. SLOW IT

At the time of this writing basketball star Reggie Miller was just voted into the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame. Reggie is perhaps most remembered for some of his thrilling games in Madison Square Garden. Several times he played phenomenally well hitting three point shot after three point shot in the closing minutes and seconds to lead his team to victory. He had stepped into what athletes call “the Zone.” When interviewed about what it felt like to be in that mental and physical state, most athletes say it just seemed like the world slowed down. They were not trying harder, but they just had the ability to see things more clearly than normal and their bodies responded amazingly well.

We are still not sure about why people get into the Zone, no one can yet predict it or figure out exactly how to make it happen. But we know for sure that something powerful happens when we slow the game down and become more aware of what is going on in us and around us. EQ experts talk about 4 spheres of emotional intelligence: personal awareness, personal management, social awareness, and social management. Half of those key areas have the word “awareness” in them. Our EQ friends tell us that the more aware a person is of their emotions and those around them, the better they will be at managing themselves and working with people. A big part of awareness is slowing things down in our minds and becoming conscious of what is going on in us and around us.

Legendary performance improvement coaches Tim Gallwey and John Whitmore include “awareness” as 1 of 2 or 3 key factors in improving performance in any endeavor. Gallwey said he saw tennis players improve their tennis stroke by releasing themselves of the pressure to get it right and instead focusing on other aspects of what was happening; like which way the ball was spinning or the position of their feet as they struck the ball. Whitmore gave a similar example in helping someone improve their running technique by simply becoming more aware of how their feet struck the ground, how long their stride was, and how it felt as they lengthened or shortened their stride. By helping people become aware of what they were doing, they automatically made corrections and performed better. Both of these coaches have given many examples of how this same technique works for professional musicians, salesmen, managers, athletes, speakers, entertainers, corporate executives and more.

I know there are different coaching techniques and some have seen good results using the “marine drill sergeant” approach, but that approach is only good for short-term, extreme circumstances. Numerous studies have shown that the brain actually shifts into survival and shut down mode when put under extreme stress, rather than becoming more adaptive and responsive. Many behaviors can change with little effort if we just slow down and become aware of what is going on inside us and around us.

I know you are busy, especially if you are trying to get something new off the ground. Whether you are starting a new business, a new ministry, a new service or product, or a new family; start up times are high stress work times. Especially during these times it is important to make time to slow down, step back from what you are doing, and take a look at it as if you were someone else’s consultant. Relax, breath deep, and simply become aware of yourself and your circumstances. Notice what you are doing and sometimes you will make automatic corrections, without even trying.

Part of the Bible’s emphasis on living in God’s grace and love is to simply become aware of Him. Spiritually powerful people often slow down and notice God’s power, wisdom, and love in their life and the world and intentionally acknowledge it. A simple “thank you, God” makes a person’s awareness of God much stronger and real. God is right here with us, but when we become aware of Him by slowing down and noticing, we can actually experience Him rather than just read about Him.

This is the first practice and even though it is simple, it is very powerful. So here is your first practice, action step: Slow down, take a deep breath or two or more, and relax. Step back from what’s going on all around you and let the pressure go. After you’ve settled down a little, begin to notice how you are feeling, thinking, and acting. Is that how you want to think, feel, and act? If not, get ready for the next practice.

Before we go to practice #2, one more benefit of slowing down is how it helps stimulate creativity and the ability to spot new opportunities for business or service. One very successful entrepreneur/business starter and owner made it a practice of visiting different shopping or business areas. She would get a cup of coffee, slow down, and simply notice (becoming aware) of what people were and were not doing. She would notice which businesses and services were there and which ones were not. As she let her mind work through these issues, great business ideas would come.

PRACTICE #1

Slow down, breath deep, and let the pressure go. Notice what is going on in you and around you. See, that wasn’t too hard; was it?

PRACTICE # 2. SEE IT

The next three practices will be the heart of your development program. The others will be of great support but if you can only do 3, choose “see it”, “say it”, and “sow it” as the ones you do not neglect. What does it mean to “see it” and how does that work?

If you have been around the personal growth, development, leadership world at all you have heard of visualization. If you have had a bad experience with it or tried it with little results, please don’t shut down right now. I understand, because I have had negative experiences with it in the past as well, but now very positive ones. Like most everything, understanding how something works and how and when to use it are very important. If “seeing it” is not used in the way intended it can seem hoaky and a waste of time. For example, every now and then you will see a movie where someone is in a stressed out situation and they’ll try to practice deep breathing, visualization, and positive affirmations with often humorous and little effect. Although funny in that context, it makes it seem like those practices are fluffy exercises that only the gullible buy into.

Here’s the bottom line on visualization. It really does work; no doubt about it. There is so much solid research on this subject, it is without dispute. However, it has to be done in the right way. So what is it, how does it work, and how do I do it correctly? Here are the answers:

What is it? It is the mental exercise of seeing something in your mind, in your imagination before you see it with your physical eyes. It can be a behavior, skill, result, or more. For example, before hitting a golf shot, seeing yourself swinging and hitting the ball exactly the way you want it to go. Legendary golfer Jack Nicklaus said he never hit a shot without first doing this. Seeing yourself, in your mind, as confident and successful before you actually are is another example.

How does it work? In his book on emotional intelligence, Dr. Travis Bradbury writes, “In fact, MRI scans of people’s brains taken while they are watching the sunset are virtually indistinguishable from scans taken when the same people visualize a sunset in their mind. The same brain regions are active in both scenarios.” Amazing isn’t it? The same regions of the brain are active when actually seeing something and when imagining it. Since much growth, development, and change has to do with what is going on in our brains, this is really big. By imagining a change or result often enough, new brain pathways are created to help that behavior, skill, or result happen.

There are numerous examples of this practice improving performance. Natan Sharanasky was a computer specialist, imprisoned 9 years in the USSR after being accused of spying for the U.S. While in solitary confinement, Sharansky practiced playing himself in mental chess. He obviously knew the game beforehand, but under these harsh conditions his only option was to practice chess purely in his mind. He is quoted as saying, “I might as well use the opportunity to become the world champion!” Amazingly enough in 1996 Sharansky beat world champion Garry Kasparov for real. Pure visualization actually helped him improve his chess skills.

A well known study involving weight lifters found that the brain patterns activated when lifting hundreds of pounds were similarly engaged when they imagined themselves lifting that amount. The athletes who practiced “seeing” themselves lifting the weight before actually doing it, improved their results significantly more than those who did not mentally practice. Exercise psychologist Guang Yue compared people who went to the gym with those who did virtual workouts in their heads. The results are pretty amazing. Those who went to the gym had a 30% increase in muscle strength while those who only did mental workouts saw a 13.5% increase. Obviously doing the physical work resulted in greater results, but just doing workouts in their minds saw significant physical improvements. There is an obvious mind-body connection.

I have already mentioned Jack Nicklaus, but other well known athletes such as Tiger Woods and Mohammed Ali have used visualization with famous results. Speakers, actors, leaders, executives, and people in every field have used “seeing it” to improve behaviors, skills, and results. There is no doubt it works, if done correctly.

How do I do it correctly? First, “slow it.” Trying to practice this in a high stress emergency situation (as in the previously mentioned movie scene), does not work real well. Especially if you are just getting started. Here are some simple steps:

Picture it. Take your stated goal and imagine the future as if you have already achieved it. Hold a mental picture in your mind as if it were occurring right now.

Detail. Imagine the scene with as much detail as you can, engaging as many of your senses as you can. What does it look like? How does it feel? Who are you with? What do you hear and smell? What benefit has it brought to yourself and others?

Positive. Keep your thoughts positive (we’ll get to this more in the next section), but when negative thoughts and pictures try to butt their way in, shut the door on them and keep your picture as sharp and clear as possible.

If you will do this, and STICK WITH IT FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS, you will see noticeable results. It really does work.

PRACTICE:

Take a few minutes, morning and night is a great time for this, and practice the steps above.

PRACTICE # 3. SAY IT

It has been said that “the pen is mightier than the sword”, because what people believe to be true ultimately drives behavior. Superior military might may win for a time, but what truly determines the course of a nation or an individual is what they believe to be true. Words, obviously, play an incredibly important role in what we believe.

It is hard to over emphasize the power of words. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Motivational speakers like Zig Ziglar encourage people to change their words in order to change their life. The Bible says that words are like the rudder of a ship, a bridle in the mouth of a horse, and a spark that starts a fire. In other words, to a great degree, our lives will follow our words. They will set the direction we go. So if you learn how to change your words, with the right attitude, you can change the course of your life. You can change attitudes, feelings, and actions by changing your words.

If a person constantly hears words like, “you are a loser, you can’t expect too much, some people have all the luck and it’s not us, we are poor and always will be, etc.”, that forms mental and emotional pathways for depression and defeat.However, if a person constantly hears, “you are a winner, you were born to succeed, challenges come but you can overcome them, you are loved, you have great talents, etc.” pathways for hope and success are formed.

Again, the absolute fantastic news is you can shrink the negative pathways and create and strengthen the positives. Even though basic temperament and personality seem to be formed within the first five years of life, we can keep reshaping our thinking, believing, skills, and actions through these practices. Here are a few key concepts regarding the power of words followed with some recommended steps in using words (“say it”) to improve your life and performance.

The effect words have on a person is related to how open that person is to them. If I am “closed” to the person, medium, or idea its impact on me will be minimal. If I respect someone, then the words they say to me will have a much greater impact than if I do not respect the person. If someone has a speaking style I like, I will be much more open to receive what they have to say than if I do not like their speaking style. My emotional state plays a role in how deeply words affect me. That is why rock legend Jimmy Hendrix said he used music to open people’s souls and then slip the words into their minds and emotions. There are many scenarios that affect our openness to words, but to the degree we are open, dictates the degree to which they have an impact.

We are generally more open to our own words than anyone else’s. One thing classical coaching teaches is that people are most open to doing something if they come up with the idea themselves. Most people do not like being told what to do unless they are in a desperate situation and want immediate relief or they’re being trained by someone they really respect. Even in those circumstances, if the individual has a say in what is to happen or contributes to the development of the plan, they are much more likely to take action. Again, this is backed by solid research showing that the words and ideas we pay most attention to are our own.

Words help form mental images. If I say the word “lion”, most of us do not think of the letters, l-i-o-n. We have a picture in our minds of the four-legged predator. If I say the words, “champion”, we rarely think of the letters, instead some type of picture or feeling occurs. Since what we say and feel plays a very, very important role in how we speak and behave, this cannot be emphasized enough.

The ideas or words you actually believe to be true dictate to a large degree how you will act. If you believe, really believe in your gut, that learning is essential to reaching your goals; you will take steps to learn. If you believe the words “I can do it”, you will feel and act like you can.

Summarizing this section so far:

Words affect us powerfully; positively or negatively.

The more open we are, the more the words affect us.

We respond more to our own words and thoughts than anyone else’s.

Words form pictures and pathways which guide and shape us.

So, here are my recommendations: (Practice)

Write down words and statements that take you where you want to go. (These are most effective when in line with your natural gifts and abilities). For example: “I am confident and secure.” “I listen before I make judgments.” “I plan my work and work my plan.”

Slow it and consciously open your soul (realizing even if what you are about to do is not yet reality, you are shaping and forming new mental connections).

Take a few minutes, 5 days a week, to see them and say them with as much emotion as you can (without freaking people out).

Some days you will feel more than others, it’s just the way it is, but do what you can with this each day.

You will notice often, that as you actually open yourself to the words and pictures (seeing and saying) that you have made and are now interacting with; your emotions will get lifted for a time. According to experts, we have anywhere from 20,000 to 50,000 thoughts per day and they affect how we feel and act. That means you’re not a goofball if you feel “up” or “down” even when circumstances have not changed. Thoughts powerfully affect emotions. So it is good to have these seeing and saying times a few sessions throughout the day.

It really does not have to be long, just a minute or two during the day, a little longer morning and night and you will see your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors improve.

Practicing these a few minutes a day will make significant changes in your life, if you do them consistently (once a week won’t do it). So use your words to make the improvements you want to see.

PRACTICE #4. SOW IT

One of the universal laws of life is “we eventually reap what we sow”. No farmer expects a harvest unless he first sows or plants seed in the ground. No seed, no harvest; no sowing, no reaping, no action, no results.

The sowing part of the big four of development is taking action; practicing what we are slowing, seeing, and saying. Think through what actions can be taken to practice the desired change and then follow through.

For example, if you want to improve your communication skills. You could state, “I will ask each person I am in meaningful conversation with to repeat back to me the main point they heard me say, so I know I communicated it well.” (Side note, saying it that way will be much better received than saying to the person, “Repeat back to me what I said so I know you got it right.” The previous way, “so I know I communicated it well”, takes the pressure off of them and on to you; so you do not put them on the defensive). You could then check that off each day you do it; either on paper or in your mind. You can learn from it as you do it and you will establish new thought and response patterns in your brain so that after a few weeks or months, it becomes the new dominant, normal behavior for you.

The sowing analogy is accurate in so many grow, change, and develop scenarios. For a seed to turn into a visible and productive plant there are several phases it goes through. Without getting into biological terms, the seed must first be planted. Then there is a season of time in which there is no visible change. Looking at soil where the seed was planted, absolutely nothing appears to be different, for a time. We know that underneath the soil all types of growth and development are happening, but from our perspective above the soil it looks the same. At some point, depending on the type of plant, soil, and weather conditions we see a small sprout appear from the soil. As it continues to receive the right amount of sunshine, water, and protection it grows into a mature and healthy plant.

So much of that applies to our own development as well. As we slow, see, say, and sow there is generally a time of little to no noticeable change. However, just like the seed underneath the ground, changes are happening and if we stay at it, in a few days or weeks we will begin to see small or inconsistent changes. As we keep sowing and practicing, those changes become stronger, more consistent, and more natural to us. If we keep working the process the desired change becomes the most dominant and natural response for us.

Let me give you one more example. Joe grew up in a home where he heard a lot of negative statements about life and himself. As a result, he had a tendency to see himself in a negative light and never expected much in life. At some point he realized this was not the way he wanted to live, so he decided to do something about it. He wrote down what he wanted to change and wrote down statements that would help re-train his thinking and guide him into his desired behavior. He wrote down, “I see the good in every situation. I thank God for the good things I have received. I realize I am a winner. Every situation will teach me something I can use. I have a great future ahead of me.” He then began to see himself this way and started saying those words with as much emotion as he could each day. He also began to practice staying positive and saying positive words throughout the day and then reviewing his actions each night. Even then, he practiced focusing on the times he did make progress rather than the times he slipped up. Some days he did better than others, but he kept sowing and practicing. After about 3 months he started feeling much better about himself. His home life improved and his wife even commented on how he was so much more enjoyable to be around. His work improved because he was learning to think in terms of what could be done rather than on what could not be done. His co-workers and his boss began to notice the difference and see much greater potential in him. He kept working at it and within 6 months he was known as a positive, can do guy.

It took a few months of slowing, seeing, saying, and sowing but it worked for him and it can most definitely work for you.

PRACTICE:

What actions can you take to work on your developmental goal?

CHAPTER 4: BIG FOUR ENHANCERS

When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves. Victor Frankl

Relentless, repetitive self talk is what changes our self-image. Dennis Waitley

Most people already know what they're doing wrong. When I get them to church I want to tell them that you can change. Joel Osteen

True change takes place in the imagination. Thomas Moore

And put on the new self who is being renewed (renovated) to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him… Colossians 3:10

ENHANCER #1. SEPARATE IT

A few years ago I gave a talk in which I said, “After living over 4 decades, another lesson I have learned is this; EVERYONE has some weirdness in them. All of us have some goofy beliefs or behaviors like never turning left on Tuesdays, or peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches, actually enjoying opera or doing math equations for fun.” When I gave the crowd permission to turn to someone they knew sitting close to them and say, “You are a weirdo, and so am I” the place erupted with energy and laughter because we all know it is true. All of us have some weirdness in us.

Some weirdness helps make us unique and fun. If it goes too far or hits us in some critical areas of our thinking and believing it can, unfortunately, really hinder us or harm other people. We were all born with the ability to do good but also with the tendency to do bad. Every one of us has done wrong and has had wrong done to us. That is the reality of the beautiful but fallen world we live in.

Along with the good God has put in us and that we have developed, there are also have some negatives that we need to get rid of or master. That is part of the whole grow, change, and develop process; getting rid of the negative and replacing it with the positive. We need to have some process for separating ourselves from the negatives so they do not hold us down or keep us bound.

Every single one of us has had negative words spoken to us as some point. We have all had hurtful experiences that have shaped us to some degree. Someone has told us we don’t have what it takes or we need to find a different career or we will never reach our dream. Negative words and experiences have the power to dramatically slow us down or completely derail us, if we do not separate ourselves from them and deal with them.

As you focus on slowing, seeing, saying, and sowing the positives of where you want to go, you will need to cut ties with the negative words and experiences that have hindered you up until now. How do we do that?

Use the judo technique. Take the momentum of the negative and flip it into motivation and action for the positive. For example, if you have been the victim of abuse, flip it and get involved or start a service or ministry that helps people who have been abused. Some of the most powerful groups have come out of people’s pain and suffering.

Let the air out of the balloon. Just like taking a few deep breaths settles us down and releases physical and emotional pressure, making a mental picture of that negative experience or those negative words and then letting the air out of it like it’s a balloon, helps get it out of our minds. If it’s been a problem for a while, that balloon of negativity may fill up quickly again, but you can release it quickly as well. Seeing a balloon zoom all around a room with the funny sound of releasing air is pretty humorous too. So this technique has the powerful combo of letting go of it and then laughing at it. For example, you have messed up again, so as that negative balloon fills up in your mind and emotions you realize what is happening. You simply say, “I messed up this time, but that is not who I am. I am ____________”. Then picture letting that mess up go and watch it shrink and fly around the room. That is not who you are, that is an old balloon you are clearing out to make room for new and positive ones.

Cut it to pieces. One of the way the Bible tells us to fight negative patterns is by using truth words as a sword to chop up the negative ideas. When Jesus faced major temptation, he quoted Scriptures to defeat the lie. Every time a lie came into his mind, he took words of truth and used them like a sword to chop up the deception. Some negatives we can simply let the air out of, if that does not work, we may need to get a little more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually aggressive and take words of truth to fight the lies. If you battle fear of failure and hear the words in your mind “You will not succeed. It is going to be how it’s always been.” You pull out your sword of truth and counter with words like, “I am more than a conqueror through the God who loves me. God put me here to succeed and not fail. The only way I lose is if I quit and I do not quit.”

Those three techniques have helped untold people separate themselves from the deceptions and negatives that come against us. Try them; I’m pretty sure you’ll like the result.

ENHANCER #2.STEP INTO IT

As you slow it, see it, say it, sow it, and separate it, now STEP INTO IT. Growth, change, and development is a process of stepping out of one thing and stepping into another. Separating ourselves from negatives or unproductive thinking and habits and stepping into new and better ones. It means giving ourselves permission to become better, more positive, and more productive.

When I lived in Europe I would often use the mass transit system. I lived in Munich, Germany for eleven years and that city’s underground subway system was fantastic. Every couple of minutes a subway would come by and over the loudspeaker the number of the train and the destination was announced. Each person would then decide if that is where they wanted to go and whether they would get in the train or not. To go to your desired destination, you had to STEP INTO the train. The train would then take you where you wanted to.

At some point, as we’re seeing and saying what we want to become, we need to make a decision to fully step into “the train” of WHO it is we’re becoming and where we are going. We are separating ourselves from previous ways of negative or unproductive ways of thinking, talking, and acting and stepping into the person we want to become. As we do that something incredible begins to happen, the process begins to carry us to our new destination. A beautiful synergy begins to take place as our minds are being reshaped, our will is strengthened, hope and faith rise, energy increases, enthusiasm is demonstrated and momentum is gained. We have stepped into the new and better way of thinking, talking, and acting. We have decided we can be different; we can step into a new and better us. We have seen that it is alright to become better and that we do not have to be trapped in the old, negative or less productive ways.

It usually takes a few weeks or even months for us to start deeply believing that we can step into this new way of living because those old patterns have been a part of us for so long. It can even feel uncomfortable for a time because the way we have been thinking and behaving has been “normal” to us.

When I was in 8th grade I decided I needed to change the way I shot a basketball. Like every other kid when I first learned to shoot, I was not strong enough to shoot it with the ball over my head. For years I had shot the ball starting from the chest or shoulder area. You do not see any male college or pro players shoot from that low because it is too easily blocked; they shoot from the top or over their head. Making that transition felt weird for a time. At first, I was better shooting from the familiar chest starting point and it felt so awkward to shoot it differently. And I was shooting far worse, not better! Nevertheless I knew if I wanted to keep playing basketball I would need to do it. So I kept practicing. After a while it began to feel more normal and in time I actually became a better shot using the new way than I was in the “from the chest” way.

We all need to do that as we make progress. Step out of or separate from the old way, and give ourselves permission, hope, and confidence that we can step into the new way and develop a new and better shot.

Go ahead, step into it. See yourself getting on that new train; leaving the old destination of defeat or despair and getting on the train of improvement and success. With a fresh confidence see yourself becoming who you want to be. Go ahead and say, with fresh faith, “I am _____________ (patient, positive, attractive, decisive, etc.) “

The train is moving and will take you to your next destination.

ENHANCER #3. SOAK IT

One of the most refreshing practices is “soaking”. We have all heard the phrase “soaking up some rays” when referring to relaxing in the sun. Some people like to get a tan and the only natural way to do that is to get out in the sun. That is really the only effort involved, setting up the chair or laying out the towel and then relaxing and letting the sun do its work.

We do basically the same thing when we practice developmental soaking. There have been numerous studies on how different types of prayer and meditation can de-stress us, invigorate us, clear our souls from negativity, and even lower blood pressure. When we are in that state we are much more receptive to creative ideas and responsive to the new pathways we want to develop and improve in.

Let me share with you how I do this and then you can try it out, experiment to see what works best for you.

I like to combine this with prayer, so I will read the Bible for a few minutes, trying to listen to what God wants to tell me as I read. Then I close my eyes and relax in God’s love and acceptance. I may take a few deep breaths, just breathing in and out love and acceptance. Then I normally do one of two things:

See it and Say it in a very peaceful, relaxed attitude. Not trying to force myself to be something different, just secure in who I am and thankful I can improve even more through these practices. Quietly speaking or thinking in my mind, “Thank you God that I am loved just as I am. Thank you that I am becoming more confident. Thank you that I smile naturally, am joyful, peaceful, and energetic. Thank you that I am impacting people in a positive way…..” Again, not fighting, not trying to force anything just soaking in the power of God’s love and truth.

Relax and not try to think about anything, just let it come to me. It’s sometimes fun and refreshing just to let go of the rudder for a little while and see what God brings to me. Sometimes nothing clear comes, just a sense of peace, which is great. Other times, words or mental pictures come and I just affirm those and receive them and trust God is working.

I know different people have different views on God, faith, etc., so take this practice and use it how you see fit, but if you are a believer in God, this is a great way to do it.

PRACTICE:

Relax, soak up some positive rays.

ENHANCER #4. SYSTEMATIZE IT

The final practice I’m giving you in this book seems exactly the opposite of what you just read in enhancer #4, soaking. It’s not though. They really do work together and you really will see that some work better at different times than others for you. Soaking and Systematizing both work when used correctly.

In his best-selling book E-Myth, Michael Gerber makes the point that franchises often have a much higher rate of success than people starting businesses on their own. Obviously, some do make it on their own and create very successful organizations, but they are the minority. Gerber writes that the reason so many do not make it on their own is they think like craftsmen rather than owners. In order to increase the chances of success the entrepreneur needs to think things through and, to the best of his or her ability, record their activities and build systems around what they do. Franchises give owners and managers clear and proven systems to guide their work and work-force.

William Deming helped Japan raise the quality of goods they produce to such a high level that many Japanese products overtook American markets. American manufacturers had to play catch up for several years. Deming said that without a system to follow 94% of people will fail in their work.

I know that influential thinkers and writers, like Seth Godin, are encouraging people to break out of assembly line thinking, and I very much agree we need to learn to think more creatively and step into new ways of living and working; but even with creativity, systems help. The right systems actually help improve creativity. Our bodies have the ability to think and do amazing things; yet they are governed by several systems (i.e. circulatory system, digestive system, etc.). If those systems are not in place and working well, we don’t work well. With the right systems in place, greater work and greater creativity can happen.

What does all this have to do with growth, change, and development? A couple of things:

Most long term change requires repetition. Although repetition is not an exciting word, (remember practicing musical scales, hitting shot after shot over and over again, learning your lines for a play, memorizing information for an exam) it is a requirement for lasting change. To repeat something often enough to form new pathways and to master it takes a system.

A proven system lets you focus on the work and exercises which speeds up and strengthens the developmental process, rather than having to give time and energy to figure out what works. Some experimentation is necessary to see what works best for you, but having a solid system to start with is a huge accelerator.

Here is my suggestion to you:

Print off the worksheets on preparation and practices found at www.MarkFurlongCoaching.com under free resources (Personal Growth Worksheets). Fill them out and then use them for a few days or a few weeks until you feel used to the process. Try out the different practices and see which ones are working best for you and use those most often. However, it is good to use all of them from time to time as they all have a little bit different benefit.

RESULT. SOAR IN IT

Once I learned to shoot the basketball with it on top of my head rather than at chest level, that became the “new normal” for me. For years, shooting at chest level was normal and comfortable. Then when I saw I needed to change in order to compete and improve, I went through a time of discomfort and awkwardness as I practiced and re-trained myself to shoot differently. The great thing about it was, even though I went through that time of discomfort where my shooting percentage actually went down, once I had retrained myself in the new way, my shooting percentage actually went up. Now, even though I am over 50, when I shoot a basketball my natural and dominant behavior is shooting over my head.

Overwhelming research and personal experience show encouragingly that we really can develop new ways of thinking, talking, and behaving. We can greatly improve or even add new skills so that they become natural to us. There is almost always a learning curve, a time of sowing where it appears nothing is really changing or it may even appear to be worse. That is where it takes a little bit of faith in the process. It is normal to have these times, as you are working on developing those new neuro-connections or strengthening the ones you have that need to get stronger. Within a few weeks or months, the new, uncomfortable, awkward becomes dominant, natural, and comfortable. Will you still have to concentrate on it? Sometimes. In some cases it will be so natural you will not even have to think about it; you will just flow and respond. Other times, yes, you will still have to focus on it. But that is true of any area of mastery or strength. Even the greatest golfer, at times, has to remind themselves to focus on certain aspects of their swing. However, it will not be like it was during your re-training time; it will be much, much, much easier.

Once the new skill or behavior becomes natural and dominant you have added another powerful tool to your achievement/leadership toolbox. Professionals have the right tools for the job, compared to an amateur, and they know how to use them (or they learn how). At the very beginning of this book I talked to you about how investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. To stay competitive and dominate in business, we have to keep getting better at our business. We have to regularly invest in people, marketing, updating and improving systems, getting new equipment, etc. To excel in life and leadership, the exact same thing is true. The main difference; what you invest in yourself cannot be taken away. People will quit, equipment breaks down, laws change but what you develop in yourself stays with you wherever you go.

A few years ago I was loading up the car after a short vacation. I looked up and saw a very large bird soaring through the sky. After watching for a few minutes, I realized it was an eagle. I do not see eagle’s everyday so I took a few minutes to watch. It was a beautiful sunny but windy day. As I watched I noticed how easily that eagle soared through the sky. From time to time he would flap his powerful wings and then just ride the currents, almost without effort. I do not know how high that eagle flew that day, but I have read they can reach heights of 10,000 feet. It was a thing of beauty, a picture I can easily see in my mind right now, years later.

It is inspiring and beautiful to see an eagle soar through the sky. That is what he was created to do. Even though he was designed to fly, he still had to go through a period of discomfort, awkwardness, and possibly fear to do it. Contrary to common lore, eagles do not shove their young out of the nest. Instead, as the eaglet grows and develops feathers, it starts feeling the wind while still in the nest and experiences some “lift”, while still in the nest. Parent eagles stop feeding the eaglet when they get to be 10-12 weeks old and fly around the nest just out of reach, carrying food. Once the young eagle gets hungry enough it will venture on its own out of the nest and immediately finds out it really can fly. Once again, even though it is created to fly and hunt, eagles still have to practice and learn to do it better in order to survive.

We were all created to do something important, positive, and noble. No one was put here to be boring, average, or a failure. I love Zig Ziglar’s phrase, “born to win.” We all have great talents and abilities and certain areas of specialty in which we can really soar. Even with those amazing abilities, development is necessary in order to excel. If you will take these practices and stay at it, as a lifestyle, you will be amazed how far you will go, how fast you can fly, and how high you can soar.

BRIDGE

You have now finished the essentials of personal growth, change, and development. These principles will work for just about anyone who learns them and practices them.

If you want to print off worksheets to help guide you through the process you can find them at www.markfurlongcoaching.com under “resources”.

As I shared in the intro, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. In the next and last chapter I write about how following the God and the teachings of the Bible help us grow, change, and develop even better. Whether you are an open-minded truth seeker or an open-minded Christ follower, I would encourage you to read it. These concepts have helped me and hundreds of millions of people throughout the world.

If this is not of interest to you right now, thanks for reading this far. I hope that at some point, you will be open and curious to find out more. When that time comes, please come back and take a look.

CHAPTER 5. THE GOD FACTOR

“Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4: 7d-8

“Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters: give yourself wholly to the so that everyone may see your progress.” 1 Timothy 4: 14-15

“Brothers I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things.” Philippians 3: 13-15

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3: 17-18

“The farmer sows the word…. Others, like seed sown on good soil, heard the word, accept it, and produce a crop— thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times what was sown…. This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scattered seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain— first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.” Mark 4:14, 20, 27-28

SECTION 1. PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT IS A GOD PRIORITY

Learning almost always requires repetition. Communicators, businesses, schools, teachers, coaches, and parents all know it. It can be very, very successful. For example, see how many of the following sentences can you complete?

The home of the free and the land of the _____________.

You will know the truth and the truth will set you __________.

You deserve a break today at ____________.

Give me liberty or ___________________.

If you have lived in the United States for several years, you can probably complete those sentences without even thinking. (if you live elsewhere think about well known phrases you have grown up with). You have heard them so often, that, without even trying they have become part of your thinking and vocabulary. Repetition helps us learn.

The best teachers repeat most often what is most important. Some ideas are more important than others. It’s more important to know the main principles of the Bible, the constitution, or any other subject than it is to know the minor ones. The best teachers repeat the most important truths over and over again. God is the best teacher, so He repeats in Scripture what is most important and personal development is one of those themes.

If you get a good grasp on the main teachings of the Bible it becomes clear that personal development is a major God emphasis. In the very first book of the Bible, in the very first chapter it says, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it.” (Genesis 1:28). The very first words God spoke directly to man were words of blessing, development, increase, and expansion. To fill the earth and govern it would require the development of positive thinking, behaving, planning, and doing.

Romans 8:29 tells us it is God’s desire to shape and form all His children into the very image of His Son. Ephesians 4:15 tells us God wants us to grow up “in all aspects” into the fullness of Jesus. The Apostle Paul wrote a letter to one of his closest leadership apprentices telling him to “train yourself to be godly” and “be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.” (1 Timothy 4:7b, 4:15).

The Apostle Peter wrote “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love.” He then says “For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-8) The 1st leader of the church, after Jesus, told Christ followers to “make every effort to add” and “possessing” or internalizing these qualities “in increasing measure”, sounds like development language. Doing this, Peter continues, would help people be effective and productive in knowing Jesus. It makes sense to me. To know someone deeply we need to spend time with them, interact with them, and be at a level where we can understand them. A child can only know and understand their parent at their own level of development. How many people realized how wise their parents actually were once they hit adulthood? To know God better and better, deeper and deeper requires that we keep growing as people and His followers.

Jesus Himself gave numerous teachings and stories making clear He wanted people to grow, change, and develop so they could fully live out the great plan God had for them and impact the world the way He intended. In Matthew 25 Jesus told the story of three managers who were entrusted with the owners resources. Two of the managers worked and increased what the owner gave them; the other did nothing to increase what he had, he merely kept it in a safe place. When the owner returned, he praised and rewarded those who developed what the owner had entrusted to them, but he demoted the manager who did nothing. Jesus said this was an important principle in living God’s way. God loves us and has a significant plan for each one of us, and God has good and important works planned out for us to bless and impact the world. He will help us do it, but He will not do it for us. He expects us to develop ourselves and the resources He has given us because what we do is really important. If we do what He put us here to do, people will be helped. If we don’t do it, people will suffer. Everyone has an important role to play in God’s plans and He has confidence in us that we can do it; if we develop ourselves and take action.

The Bible teaches us to trust God and to rely on His grace, love, power, and more. It also teaches we are to manage our lives and work well. Some people expect God to do more than He said He would and get disappointed that God is not doing more to help them. Others work so hard to do it without God’s empowering that they get worn out. The correct balance is to trust God to do what only He can do while giving our best to develop ourselves to do the best work we possibly can.

No doubt about it; personal growth, change, and development is a major focus of biblical teaching. Now let me share with you how faith in the God of the Bible helps us develop ourselves to the max.

QUESTIONS

Are you giving a great effort to add what is lacking in your life? (2 Peter 1:5-8)

What is God’s part in your growth? What is your part?

SECTION 2. GOD’S COMMITMENT TO YOU

When it comes to God, there are many different views. For some God is an energy or force; some call Him “the Universe.” For others God is a Being who is totally separate from man and who requires absolute submission and obedience (Islam, which means submission). For others God is the creator and sustainer of the universe, who made it, set up principles, and now lets it go its course (the clock-maker view, Deism). On and on it goes, from God is nature to we are God to millions of gods, to no god, to a Santa Clause god, to an angry, uncaring one.

I understand the confusion. It is difficult because we have limited perspective (even the smartest of us can only see parts of reality) and because God does not show up so we can physically see Him. We are never going to know everything there is to know, so none of us can really say we know from our own experience exactly what God is like (our vantage point is so very small and limited). But, if we could just see Him, physically, and talk to Him we would know He’s real and what He’s like, right? I have had times where I’ve said, “God, why don’t you just show yourself, then everyone would get it?” Given, that would certainly make it easier to believe He exists, but believing He exists and experiencing His love and life are two different things. I know this is a big, big topic and people a lot smarter than me have written some great materials on it, but as the focus of this book is to give you “to-the-point” essentials, here are a few thoughts for your consideration:

Even if God “showed Himself” to us physically, does not mean we would follow Him and thus experience His abundant blessing. There have been several times in history where God “showed” Himself, physically and people still did not receive the life He wanted to give. The main reason for our confusion is not that we cannot see Him; instead it has more to do with the condition of our heart, soul, and mind. Whatever you think of the story of Adam and Eve (allegorical or factual), the story has Adam and Eve seeing God (physically), talking with Him and hearing Him talk back to them with no barriers. It does not get any clearer than that; yet they still messed up. As I see it, the 3 biggest reasons for their failure:

One: they made a decision to believe words contrary to what God told them.

Because God had given them the ability to make decisions (created in His image), they had the ability to choose to believe God’s word or someone else’s.

Two: according to Genesis 1:26-27 God created man in His image to have relationship with Himself and then to develop and govern the planet according to God’s life principles. Adam and Eve decided they wanted to be gods themselves, not wanting to be dependent on their Creator, and that lead to believing words and thoughts contrary to God’s.

Three: believing, lead to actions (as it always does), resulting in a darkened, fear-producing, negative soul condition. God did not change, but their perception of God and themselves did. What we believe to be true is the big factor in what we see, how we see it, and how we act.

In the book of Exodus, an entire nation physically saw specific parts of God on a few dramatic occasions. Not in an indirect, metaphorical seeing, but with their naked eyes. Yet, amazingly, many still chose to have “idols” they could continually, physically see and touch . They wanted a god that was manageable, always in one spot, made of material they understood, that they could interact with when they wanted and how they wanted. Apparently, the desire to physically see something and being able to categorize and contain it is so strong in human beings, we are willing to do something as dumb as make something with our own minds and hands and then adore and worship it. Even today, the number of things people make and then worship is unlimited: music, money, pleasure, people, nations, teams, success, beauty, strength, intelligence, etc.

The heart of the Christian message is that God humbled Himself and became a person, Jesus from Nazareth. Over and over again Jesus told the crowds, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father. The Father and I are one.” Jesus said things like, “I am the light of the world, I am the bread of life, I am the way, the truth, and the life, etc. He did miracles in quantity and quality like no one else in history. Compare his life to any other religious or national leader and there is absolutely no comparison in the amount or degree of the miraculous attributed to them and Jesus. Despite the greatest demonstration of God-power the world had ever seen in one person, some received His message and the life He desired to give and others rejected it.

At least 3 different times in history, God showed up in such a way that people could physically see Him; yet many still chose not to connect with Him and follow Him even though they believed He existed. Human history clearly shows even if we could all see God (physically), if our heart, soul, and mind condition are not changed, there would still be all types of confusion, leading to wrong decisions and unnecessary pain. Adam and Eve saw God and still messed up. Exodus Israel saw physical dimensions of God and still messed up. Tens of thousands of people saw God in Jesus physically and still rejected Him. It is primarily a heart problem, not a sight problem. That is why the Bible teaches, the better our soul condition, the clearer our view and connection with God. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8) How do we get a pure heart? I’ll talk about that in section 5 of this chapter.

God wants us to have a great relationship with Him. Here is a really big thought that if believed, will change your relationship with God no matter where you are on your spiritual journey.

God’s greatest desire for you is that YOU RECEIVE HIS LIFE AND LOVE. God created you to love you!

Again

God’s greatest desire for you is that YOU RECEIVE HIS LIFE AND LOVE. He created you to love you!

God does have important plans for you; ways for you to impact the world and find great fulfillment in doing it. However; even if you did nothing; even though it would sadden Him because He wants you to help others and know the joy of meaningful work, He would still love you. Jesus taught us to interact with God as “Father”, a perfect, loving, just, kind, wise, caring, powerful Father. The most well known prayer in Christianity starts with “Our Father”. Now, as an imperfect father, I know that more than anything (dealing with me), I want my sons to know I love them, that I am proud of them, and I would do anything I ethically can to help them. Every decent parent I know would give their life in a second for their child. Jesus said, our heavenly Father goes way beyond that.

I know life sucks sometimes and it would not be unusual if you have gone through some extremely rough experiences. Throughout history, many people who have loved God deeply have experienced injustice and suffering. God does not promise a perfect, just life in this age but He does promise to be with us, love us, and help us as much as He can right now while working out plans for an entire world.

Just know this: God did not primarily create you to be his worker; He created you first to be his son or daughter. He longs to love you, share His life with, shape and form you to your very highest potential as well as work together with you in doing important work. He created you for authentic, real, significant, impacting, overflowing life.

Here is God’s commitment to you. He will love you unconditionally, just as you are, no matter what you do. If you will come to Him, put your trust in Him, and follow His instructions; He will work with you to complete the plans He has for you in every area of your life. (Philippians 1:6, 2:13). He will not force you, but He does everything He can, while still giving you the choice, to draw you to Himself so He can fill you with His love and life.

Think about it. Do you see God that way? If so, awesome! Why don’t you take a minute or ten and soak in that realization. It will refresh and energize you.

If not, consider why not. Listen to your heart and think it through with your mind. Why do you believe what you do about God? Does what I just shared with you make sense? Does it resonate with you? Is that something you would like to know in your bones and experience first- hand? If so, read on.

SECTION 3. GOD AS YOUR SOURCE

What would happen if you no longer had access to food? You would not last more than a few months. How about water? A few days. Air? A few minutes. We are not self-sustaining units; we are dependent on outside sources for the continuation of life. Every single one of us is dependent on outside sources to live.

The same is true spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It has been proven that if people are deprived of all outside contact; sounds, touch, smell, sight, etc. they will soon go crazy. Babies have to have human contact in the first years of life or they do not develop emotionally as they should. Children who grow up in loving homes have a much greater chance of being positive, loving people. (If that wasn’t the case for you, you are not alone. You can get past this, with some developmental work).

If you were starting a business wouldn’t it be great to have investors who were supplying you with all the capital you needed to do it right? If you were starting a church, wouldn’t it be awesome to have a team of 100 or more people who were committed to working with you to make it happen? If you were a musician wanting to start a band and get your music out there, wouldn’t it be fantastic to have someone supply the instruments, find the right band members, and then help you get the word out? What if you were connected to the richest, smartest, most powerful person in the universe, and He was wildly in love with you?

Jesus taught us that is how God wants it to be for each and every one of us. He said if imperfect people know how to give good things to their children, HOW MUCH MORE would our perfect heavenly Father give what is good to us. In Romans 8:32, the Apostle Paul wrote, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” The Bible is very clear: God is ready and willing to give us everything we need to live the life He has planned for us. He is not cheap, He is not stingy, He does not give begrudgingly; it absolutely delights Him to give good things to people.

The focus of this book is on personal growth, change, and development. The principles shared in the first four chapters will help anyone, if they practice them. If you have read this far, you have seen I believe God wants us to develop to our highest potential and He is committed to making that happen. Can you imagine how much more effective and powerful that development and change can be if you are drawing your strength, life, and wisdom from the loving Creator; the One who longs to be your heavenly Father?

In what is called by theologians “common grace”; God has given every person the ability to do things, even without His direct help. He has given some people the ability to sing, whether they believe in Him or not. He has given others the ability to design aircraft whether they thank Him or not. He has given us all the ability to think and choose, to laugh and cry, to grow and develop; whether we follow Him or not. Those are His gifts to all people.

How much better can all that become if we are connected to, drawing strength from, trusting and following the loving Creator? He never gets tired. He loves us always, desires the best for us, knows what is best for us, has perfect perception of all reality, and is thrilled to see us experience life at the highest level.

Who is your source? Everyone has one.

Doesn’t it make sense to have God as your source?

Want to find out how? We’re getting there.

SECTION 4. CONNECTING AND RECEIVING

As in any relationship, there are different levels of connection in our relationship with God. Some people are so mad at God they want nothing to do with Him. Most people (at least in the U.S. at the time of this writing) believe there is a God and pray to Him in some form or fashion on a regular basis (according to Gallup Polls). They sometimes sense God and are sometimes grateful to Him for the good in their life but wonder if God is a person, a force, energy, or just a comforting idea. Then others have a relationship with God that is life-giving, empowering, and secure through good times and bad. I want to use the rest of this section to give you a very quick overview on what Jesus and His followers taught on having that life-giving relationship with God. How to connect and then receive the life God wants us to have.

God loves us more than we can imagine and longs for us to have a great relationship with Him and receive the life He wants to share. We have talked about that in the previous sections, but it is so important, so foundational to connecting and receiving. Jesus said God longed to give us His Kingdom riches and blessings. God needs nothing, but because His nature is perfect love; He desires to share His life and riches with us.

There is such a thing as sin and sin is a life and relationship killer. I know in our time, the word “sin” often carries with it the picture of harsh, condemning preachers with contorted faces, spitting out words of judgment and rejection on people. The Hebrew word for sin simply means “missing the mark.” Whenever we think, say, or do things contrary to God’s nature and principles, we are missing the mark and are impacting our lives and the world in negative ways. If I hate myself or others, that is contrary to God’s life laws and furthers the death process in me or in the world. Sin is real and sin is a killer.

Unfortunately, we have all sinned. If sin is defined as any thought, word, or action contrary to God and His principles; then we all sin many times each day. You may be saying, “Can a thought be a sin? It doesn’t hurt anyone.” When we realize our lives are, to a great degree, the result of how we think; then wrong thinking is actually the root of all the other sins. We know words can bring life or death. We know our actions can do the same. They come from our thinking and emotions and we all mess up many times every single day.

God loves us, but is also just. I know that our world is filled with injustice. Also know that God hates it. If God hates it, why doesn’t He do something about it, right? This is a big and complicated subject, but according to the Bible, God lets a lot of awful things happen because He respects our right to make decisions. According to the Bible all the crap happening on the planet happens either directly or indirectly because of our wrong decisions. It might surprise you to know that the earthquakes, tornadoes, and diseases that hit us started happening after Adam and Eve sinned. None of that was here before the force of sin and death was released on the earth when they broke God’s big life law. Even with those events, how great would the world be if we simply loved each other like God loves us? Most of the world’s problems would be solved if we all followed just that one directive. But we don’t, do we? Here’s the deal; at some point in time, we will all stand before God and give account for our lives. Because God is just, He will require that we make good for the times we have broken His life laws and therefore have impacted the lives of others negatively.

Someone has to pay the penalty. Most of us are outraged when a judge lets a proven violent criminal walk. Something in us rises up and says, “That is wrong.” The Bible says that response is a God-given one; one that comes from God Himself. Here is God’s dilemma; He loves us more than any parent who has ever lived, yet He can’t deny justice. If God lets even one sin, with its corrupting, destroying, infecting power into heaven; heaven won’t be heaven anymore. He must judge sin, contain it, and ultimately destroy it. Since we have all sinned thousands upon thousands of times, it does not look good for us. It also explains why it’s so hard for us to connect and receive from a perfect, holy God.

God provided a perfect solution. This is the heart of what the Bible calls the “good news” or the Gospel. God came down to earth in the person of Jesus. Jesus lived a sinless life, showing us what God is like in human form. He then took the judgment we all deserved, because of breaking God’s life laws, by dying on the cross for us. Because He was God in the flesh, He was able to pay the penalty for the entire human race for all time. Because He paid the price, fully; we do not have to pay it if we will simply and humbly accept God’s gift of forgiveness and new life.

The way we connect and receive is by trusting and believing. This is so different than almost any other major religion. God says we cannot earn His love and forgiveness and we can never be good enough, on our own, to deeply connect with Him and eventually go to heaven. All we can do is receive this gift of being made right with God by faith. No working for it, no trying to perfect ourselves, no striving or trying harder; it is a gift that can only be received by believing. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” This book is about steps we can take to grow, change, and develop. I obviously believe we can and should take responsibility for our lives and our behaviors. I do, however, believe we were created by God to do all of this through a living connection with Him and we can see much greater results when we live according to our God-given design. The only way to connect with Him fully is by receiving what He has done for us. Man made religion says “do” to get right with God or make it to heaven; Jesus says “done”. God has already done everything that needs to be done, once and for all, to help us get that initial connection and to receive forgiveness and life forever through Jesus.

This is another one of those ideas that will utterly change your connection to God and your life, if you get it. There are different methods and techniques for connecting with God, some of which we’ve covered in section 3 if you just do them with a prayerful, God-focused attitude. However, none of these techniques or the others I’ll give you in the final section of this chapter will cause a life-giving connection to happen outside of putting faith in Christ alone to make us right with God. It cannot be based on our efforts or anyone else’s efforts to do so because we all fall so short of a perfect God’s nature. It is purely a gift. The most valuable, greatest love gift God could ever give; His Son.

The bottom line: The way to connect with God, according to Jesus, is by simply believing in Him and His message. When you do that, God breaks through every barrier and establishes a life-giving connection based on what He has done; not on your efforts.

Let’s look at some of the incredible benefits of this grace-faith connection now.

SECTION 5. ASSURANCE, CONFIDENCE, AND PEACE

Guilt and un-forgiveness are two of the greatest life, soul, and relationship destroyers there are. Those two have caused more trouble than perhaps any other internal maladies we face. How many people have done extreme things to try and get rid of guilt? How many have tried to ignore it by saying, “We all make mistakes so just shake it off. No one is perfect”? The truth is, even though there can be some surface level relief by self-talk or sacrificial actions; it never really gets to the core of it. We know in our gut, justice needs to be done.

How many others have let the injustice done to them or they’ve done, cause them to be bound and tormented by un-forgiveness? At some point, we all get shafted by others and at some point, we shaft someone else. It goes back to that Adam and Eve inheritance and someone making wrong or selfish choices. People who don’t forgive or don’t experience forgiveness end up becoming bitter, angry, or hateful. It’s an awful way to live.

What if instead, a person could know there was a sure-fire way to deal with guilt, un-forgiveness and their cousins (shame, hate, envy, etc)? That is what God has made available to us through His Son. The disciple who was closer to Jesus than anyone else wrote this, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” (1 John 5:13) The apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…” (Romans 5:1) The Bible is making clear to us that we can have assurance, confidence, and peace that God has forgiven us and given us His gift of right standing and new life, because of what Jesus did. Because we have put our faith in what He accomplished to connect us with God and make us right with Him, we have a God-endorsed way to deal with guilt, un-forgiveness, and more.

When we mess up, and we will; when others do us wrong, and they will; we do not have to beat ourselves up, beat someone else up, or try to simply shrug it off. Instead, we can pray and ask God to forgive us, forgive others, and forgive ourselves based on what Jesus did for us. We can experience the deep cleansing and healing that only God can do in the core of our being. The pressure to perform is off. The shallowness of trying to ignore it is gone. The need to get even is released. We can face up to it, bring it to God in prayer, give it to Him and receive the on-going love, forgiveness, and refreshing that comes from Him. Because we have experienced forgiveness from the Creator of the Universe, we can forgive ourselves and others. We can know, no matter how crazy life gets, our relationship with God is not broken, because it is not based on our perfection but on His faithfulness and grace.

Sure, we still need to work on developing ourselves and serving the world, but as a result of God’s love and life, not out of the need to earn it or work for it. This makes such a difference. When Christians live in this truth, they demonstrate the life of God to the world. It is when they forget it and try to work for God’s love or make others earn it, that they get harsh and judgmental. In the last section we looked at Ephesians 2:8-9 which tells us being made right with God is a gift, received by grace and faith. The very next verse says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Yes, we are to be doing important, significant work. God put us here to do important activities and even has a plan laid out for us. The order, however, is crucial to get right. We do the good works and work hard, not to earn heaven or God s love; but because we have already received God’s love and assurance of heaven. When this issue is settled in our core, in our heart, it makes possible a life with assurance, confidence, and peace greater than any other way possible.

So let me ask you, have you put your trust fully in what God did for you through His Son, Jesus? If not, and you would like to it is as simple as praying something like this from the heart:

“God, I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead. I realize I can never be good enough to earn eternal life or right standing with you, it is a gift. Right now, based on what Jesus did on the cross, I ask you to forgive me, cleanse me, and come into my heart. By faith, I receive you now.”

Now just take a moment and receive from God; connect with Him. It may be powerful, it may be subtle and peaceful; maybe both; but God always holds to His word and if you prayed that prayer, trusting Him to do it; He did.

You don’t work for it; you just receive by faith the gift of life, forgiveness, and real connection with God.

Congratulations, whether you realize it yet or not this is the most powerful and important day of your life.

If you’ve been reading all this and are not yet at the place to put your trust fully in Christ, He still loves you and will keep working to draw you to Himself. Stay as open, hungry, and teachable as you can and He will keep working. He really loves you and wants you to know the joy of connection, life, assurance, confidence, peace, and joy He has prepared for you.

Let’s finish this book off with some development practices taught in the Bible that we have not yet looked at.

SECTION 6. MORE PROVEN ACCELERATORS

All the preparation and practices given in chapters 2 -4 are actually found throughout the Bible as well as being supported by scientific research and practical experience. The terminology may be somewhat different, but each of them can be seen in the teachings of Jesus, the apostles, and the prophets.

Now let’s take a quick look at a few more that we have not yet covered, yet can have a powerful effect.

Bible reading, study, and meditation. God’s words are totally consistent with who He is. Even if we are not sure exactly what each text or word is trying to communicate to us, God will meet us, speak to us, shape us, and train us through His written words. As far as developing powerful words to “say”; there is no better source than the Bible. They are God’s words and as such, they are true. If God says it, you can say it as truth with confidence.

Prayer. There are many types of prayer: worship, quiet, praise, thanksgiving, asking for something, asking God to work in someone’s life, positive affirmations, confession of sin, and more. I love to combine the Big 4, along with the “Enhancers” in prayer.

Fasting. Fasting means going without something in order to seek a deeper connection with God and/or some type of breakthrough. That can include spiritual or personal growth. There are many types of fasts (from food, from specific foods, from TV or radio, from social times, etc.). Jesus said that combining prayer and fasting can accelerate or intensify change and development.

Service. Even though we are to work on ourselves, it can’t be just about us. Helping others, for their benefit, always ends up helping shape us. Some of the greatest breakthroughs have come when people decided to do what they could to help others; even when they were hurting. The Bible says, “Give and it will be given back to you…” Jesus is our highest example: He left the perfection and power of heaven to serve us; as a result He has been given the name above every other, the only name by which we receive forgiveness of sins and the gift of life that lasts forever with God.

Interaction. God never designed us to live by ourselves. From the very beginning God said it was not good for man to be alone; even when God was there. God said it was not enough for people just to have a relationship with Him. He said we need to be with other people. Being with others who have the same desire to love God and their neighbors helps us change. Who we spend time with, especially with an open heart and mind, impacts all of us. At various times, we need mentors, peers, coaches, teachers, managers, pastors, as well as people we serve, coach, teach, support, etc.

You can use these along with or as part of the preparation and practice steps given in chapters 2 through 4 for even greater results in your personal development journey. Having various proven options to choose from is another benefit of following our Creator’s directions.

SECTION 7.FINALWORD

When a solider goes into battle he cannot take with him everything; he has to choose what is essential for that mission. Good logistics will supply the troops with all they need to be successful over the long haul, but for each mission each soldier can only carry so much. As I said at the beginning, there are numerous excellent books written on some of the subjects covered here. I have done my best to pick topics that are “essentials” for the success of your personal development mission. If you will nail down some core beliefs, prepare, and practice these principles you can see incredible growth and change happen.

If you are the leader, you will always be to a great degree “the lid” on your team, group, business, family, or church. Your team will go no higher than your level of leadership. Thankfully you do not need to be perfect, as God specializes in using imperfect people, but you do need to keep growing and progressing so your important mission can be fulfilled.

As you know, I believe connecting with God is a tremendous benefit in this journey. My hope and prayer is that many, many more will make that connection, receive God’s strength and wisdom, and grow to impact millions of lives. Each person is incredibly valuable, and here for very important reasons. May we all grow to be and do all God put us here to be and do and help others do the same.

On my website, www.markfurlongcoaching.com you will find worksheets and other options to help you grow, change, and develop in your leadership, life, and work. I would love to get to know you better and to continue to support you as I raise the lid in my own life; growing, changing, and developing as far as I can.

Want to know how to dream, think, and focus better?

All great achievement starts with a powerful dream. Great dreaming comes from great thinking. Great results come as a result of knowing where to focus our energies after dreaming and thinking through ideas and solutions. Creative thinking is more important now than ever. The world is changing so quickly and continues to change at a rapid pace. That means to have successful businesses, organizations, and even individual lives; powerful, creative, dreaming, thinking, and focusing are essential.

I would encourage you to check out Dream: How to Find a Dream worth Following to learn to improve your ability to dream big and think creatively and focus specifically. You can go to Amazon.com to find it.

If you want audio or video resources about how to lead yourself and your team better, I’m constantly developing new cutting edge courses.

EXCERPT FROM DREAM: HOW TO FIND A DREAM WORTH FOLLOWING

The following is an excerpt from Dream: How to Find a Dream Worth Following.

HOW TO EXPAND YOUR THINKING AND DREAMING CAPABILITIES

“What’s the best way to mobilize this brain’s ability? It’s first to concentrate intently on the goal or problem, and then relax into stage three: let go.” Daniel Goleman

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

“The world is but the canvas to our imaginations.” Henry David Thoreau

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” Stephen R. Covey

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” Mark Twain

“…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Apostle Paul, Philippians 3:13b-14

SECTION 1. YOU CAN THINK AND DREAM BETTER

Most people do not consider themselves as creative. If you asked them, “Are you a creative person?” the majority would say no. Part of the problem is that we compare ourselves to household names or certifiable geniuses. (We will look more at that in the next section). Even more of a problem is that most of us believe we have been given a certain measure of intelligence and creativity and there is not a whole lot we can do about it. It is a fact that we all have different types and amounts of intelligence: some of us are better at facts and information, others are better at artistic endeavors, still others have great interpersonal intelligence, and others have incredible mind/body abilities. But no matter what your areas of giftedness are in (and you do have them), they can be improved.

You can learn to think and dream better!

Recent research on brain function has shown there are neural connections, circuitry, and pathways in our brains. Through repeated experiences, thought practices and actions, these connections can be strengthened, shrunk, or even created. I am not an expert in brain function, but in reading some of the works of those that are, I am extremely encouraged as to what degree we really can change our thinking, our imagining, and our dreaming.

You are creative!

In areas of your giftedness, you have the potential to expand your thinking and dreaming abilities way beyond what you are currently doing. Your brain has so much more capacity than you are currently using. It does not matter if you are already a recognized creative genius; you can go much further. For the rest of us, a whole new world of creativity is inviting us in.

Just a few years ago, Richard Davidson (then at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center) teamed up with Jon Kabat-Zinn to help people in a high-stress work setting learn how to get into and stay into a mental state of creativity and productivity. They worked with a group of people in a bio-tech start up who were going all out 24/7. They taught them some mental exercises, practiced for 30 minutes per day for 8 weeks. During that time, changes in the brain occurred that allowed these workers to shift into a much higher level of positive emotions, enthusiasm, energy, and joy in their work. That state of mind helps the creative juices flow much better than being in a negative mental and emotional state. As a result of this training, these workers did experience greater creativity for a sustained period than before the training.

EQ expert Daniel Goleman wrote about an incredible new understanding in how the brain develops and functions.

“The new understanding is what’s called “neurogenesis”: Every day the brain generates 10,000 stem cells that split into two. One becomes a daughter line that continues making stem cells, and the other migrates to wherever it’s needed in the brain and becomes that kind of cell. Very often that destination is where the cell is needed for new learning. Over the next four months, that new cell forms about 10,000 connections with others to create new neural circuitry.”

Our brains are incredible! Ten thousand new connections! Goleman also wrote that each day 5,000 of those cells go to reinforce what is already there, but the other 5,000 go to where new connections (thought patterns) are being formed. Isn’t that encouraging? We can shrink negative thought patterns and form new ones that are much stronger. When that happens, creativity and positivity increases.

One more really encouraging find from Dr. Goleman: You have certainly heard the phrase, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. That has been proven false. Unless there is a physical problem, the brain can keep developing as long as you live. The brain is continually getting rid of cells and adding new ones. Where and how it does it has a great deal to do with what we decide to work on.

You can absolutely improve your thinking, creativity, and dreaming!

There are states of mind and emotion in which our creative juices flow and states of mind and emotions in which they rarely, if ever, do. Read on.

SECTION 2. THE PHYSICAL SIDE OF CREATIVITY

In my understanding, we are three-fold beings: spirit, soul, and body. Each of them plays a role in how well we think and dream. Right now we will look at a few physical factors that play a role in creative thinking.

Earlier, we talked about the reality that children naturally dream. They have free flowing, seemingly unobstructed imaginations. So what happens to us as we get older, that creativity seems to diminish or be suppressed? Some of it is not our fault. At two different phases our brains go through a shift, usually around the beginning of elementary school and then again at puberty, where it drops some of its creative powers in return for the ability to control ourselves better. It makes sense if we are to interact with others in a civil manner and do more sustained study, we need the ability to control ourselves more. We sometimes think the way society functions and having repeated hardships and disappointments are reasons we lose creativity. That does happen but part of our problem is purely physical. As we have already talked about, despite this physical shift that takes place, this trade off; we can keep developing our thinking and creative powers through targeted practice. The brain has the capacity to actually create new neural pathways and connections on a regular basis.

Let’s talk about another physical side to creativity. In his best seller Outliers Malcom Gladwell writes about rarely talked about success factors. In one chapter, he writes extensively on plane crashes. He points out that most plane crashes are the result of some type of human failure, not mechanical. Gladwell gives several factors that lead to human failure in the cockpit (on average there are 7 mistakes made one after another that led to those air disasters.) One of them involved in most of the crashes was a simple one to understand: physical fatigue. In most plane crashes the people in the cockpit were very tired. This led to them making wrong decisions and not noticing some of the “little” things that were going wrong. To avoid crashes in rougher conditions, it required that the pilot and his crew be alert, on top of things, and able to adjust plans (creativity). Human beings simply cannot do that consistently, when tired. Despite the inspiring stories we read and hear about people working and struggling with little or no rest and then having a great creative breakthrough, the fact is most people are most creative when they are rested. In the next chapter, we will give a simple three step process for improving the creative process, but it all works better when we are not exhausted physically.

We all have times when we have to work really hard and really long, with little rest, but if that is the norm, performance and imaginative power will decrease. One of the best concepts I have heard is one of “Margins”. This idea promotes having a 10-20% margin built into our schedules, finances, and other key areas of life. In other words, do not schedule 100% of your day, leave 10-20% for free, unplanned situations that will most likely come up. Do not spend all your money, save 10-20%. You get the idea. If we live life with a maxed out credit card mentality, when unexpected challenges arise, there are no more resources left to deal with them, and we, like those planes, crash.

One of the best things you and I can do to help the dream and creative process is to do our best to get enough rest and recreation. A few decades ago I was in the former Communist East Block. These nations were by their own declaration atheistic; yet they saw through experience that people worked better when they took one day a week off, just like the Bible teaches. In many cases, more is not better. Too little is not good either; but it is very possible for motivated people to push beyond their limits of good and creative thinking and dreaming.

One other physical side of getting creative has to do with space. If you can, get in a place with high ceilings or no ceilings. Although it is true that some of the greatest ideas have come from prison cells or other restricted areas, it generally helps our minds and souls to have some open space. When we get to working on details it can help to be in a smaller, confined space; but for big ideas, it really does help to have some space.

We are all somewhat different with our sleep, recreation, and physical needs but here are a few questions for you:

Are you getting the sleep and recreation you need to be your best?

What are the results in your life and in the lives of those you touch when you are not at your best?

What can you do to work smarter, not longer?

Where can you go to get some space?

SECTION 3. THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF STRESS

When we hear the word “stress” it is almost always with a negative connotation. “I’m stressed out”, “Learn how to deal with stress”, “Drop your stress levels”, are the types of phrases we most associate with that word. In the last section, I made my case for getting enough rest; but getting too much rest also shuts down the creative juices. Too much rest or too little challenge or stress makes us lethargic and bored. We all need the right amount of challenge and stress to release our creative juices. There is a lot of truth to the old adage, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” It is amazing how much motivation increases when we see an amazing opportunity for advancement or a way to get away from some type of pain.

Famed cognitive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl (pronounced “checks-sent-me-high”) has written extensively on the concept of “flow.” Athletes call it “being in the zone”. These are times when it seems like it all comes together and it “flows”. We can fully concentrate, we get lost in the moment, time seems to fly by, functioning at full capacity, and seeing great achievement. Most likely you have experienced this at some point in your life. Would you like to step into that “flow zone” more often? Would you like for your creative juices to flow so you can develop new ways of getting important things done or better ways of getting them done?

Here are some of the main conditions:

You have a strong interest or passion in the subject, topic, cause, or idea.

It involves areas of your abilities and strengths.

You have control over the means.

It is very challenging but still doable.

Point #4 supports what we are talking about in this section, the right amount of stress. I know, I’ve encouraged you to think about “what could and should be” without limiting constraints and I believe that is extremely important. I also know that our ability to dream big has to be developed because we are so trained by life to think in terms of “what is realistic.” If the idea, the dream is too big for where we are developmentally, we will shut it down.

Let me put it this way, if you are having trouble getting into the “big dream” flow of ideas, let your mind go as far as what seems realistically possible to you right now, then take one more creative idea step. If you are passionate about helping kids read better, how far will your “what could be” thinking take you? Stretch that far then take one step farther. Can you imagine a program being offered in community centers in your area? If that is comfortable for you, then what would be stretching? Would it be having them in 5 townships, 10 community centers, 100? We are all at different places in our faith and dreaming development. And I do not know where you are in your soul and mind right now. You may have great momentum, having had a string of successes. I’m happy for you and I encourage you to build on that. Or, you may be struggling to believe anything good will happen in your life if you have faced a series of major setbacks. All any of us can do is progress from where we are, not where we would like to be. Oh, and sometimes the greatest breakthroughs come after the darkest of times. (Next section.)

David Yongi Cho, pastor of the largest church in the world, talks about how when he started his church in the ghetto of Seoul, Korea right after the Korean War, his first dream was to fill a beat up tent with people who were coming to connect with God. Once that was filled, he then began to dream of having a building that could hold a few hundred. Once that happened, then he dreamed of reaching several thousand. He kept stretching his thinking and dreaming one step farther than he could see. Over the next decades, the church grew having close to one million people attending services. That is the only local church I am aware of in the world that is close to that size, so it is not God’s plan for each church to be that large; however, we can all progressively stretch our thinking and dreaming abilities over time.

Learning to dream big and dream well is a developmental process. So is creative thinking. Just like everything else, some people have a greater natural affinity for it, but all of us can expand our thinking and dreaming abilities. Part of that development is the right amount of stress, challenge, flow, and interest.

If you want to get into the flow zone of creativity, focus on the four conditions given above.

Are you very interested or passionate about it?

Is this something you have aptitudes for?

Do you have control over how it will be done?

Is it challenging, but doable?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mark Furlong is an author, speaker, coach, and minister who helps individuals and organizations clarify and do their unique, impacting purposes. He teaches people the key concepts to turn their ideas into reality in the areas of spiritual growth, personal development, and leadership in both the business and not-for-profit arenas. For business and leadership help go to www.markfurlongcoaching.com, for spiritual growth go to www.TruVineMission.com.

THANK YOU

Before you go I’d like to say “thank you” for purchasing my guide.

I know you could have picked from dozens of books on personal development. But you took a chance with my system.

So a big thanks for downloading this book and reading all the way to the end.

*If* you’ve liked what you’ve read then I need your help!

Please take a moment to leave a review for this book on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Powerful-Personal-Development-Minutes-ebook/dp/B00DRFEON4

ONE LAST THING

When you turn the page, Amazon will give you the opportunity to rate this book and share your thoughts on Facebook and Twitter.

If you believe this guide is worth sharing, would you take a few seconds to let your friends know about it?

If it turns out to help them make significant improvements they’ll be forever grateful to you; as will I.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1. Foundational Beliefs

Chapter 2. Preparation

Chapter 3. The Big 4 Practices

Chapter 4: Big Four Enhancers

Chapter 5. The God Factor

Excerpt from Dream: How to Find a Dream Worth Following

About The Author