THE SECERT

TO TRUE

HAPPINESS

ENJOY TODAY,

EMBRACE TOMORROW

J O Y C E M E Y E R

Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: Enjoy Your Everyday Life

CHAPTER 2: Start with God

CHAPTER 3: Make the Choice

CHAPTER 4: Laugh a Lot

CHAPTER 5: Know Who You Are

CHAPTER 6: Move Forward in Faith

CHAPTER 7: Trust through the Trials

CHAPTER 8: Get Some Rest

CHAPTER 9: Choose Well

CHAPTER 10: Grieve Your Losses

CHAPTER 11: Put Possessions in Perspective

CHAPTER 12: Be Fruitful

CHAPTER 13: Wise Up!

CHAPTER 14: Raise the Standard

CHAPTER 15: Be Healthy

CHAPTER 16: Keep It Simple

CHAPTER 17: Be Creative

CHAPTER 18: Have a Seat

CHAPTER 19: Follow Directions

CHAPTER 20: Give Them a Break!

CHAPTER 21: Stay Positive

CHAPTER 22: Be Out-of-Control

CHAPTER 23: Cultivate Good Habits

CHAPTER 24: Let God Lead

CHAPTER 25: Expect Abundance

CHAPTER 26: Practice Discipline

CHAPTER 27: Take Your Hands Off

CHAPTER 28: Embrace Tomorrow

THE SECRET

APPENDIX

NOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTRODUCTION

I am convinced one of the most important lessons we

can ever learn is to choose to be happy every day of

our lives as we look forward to the future. One of my

greatest desires is to see people thoroughly enjoy the

quality of life Jesus died to give us—to actually be

happy. Not just to read about it or talk about it, but to

walk in it and experience true happiness as a daily

reality.

Many people, including me, are extremely goal

oriented. We are so focused on tomorrow we often

fail to appreciate and enjoy today because we are

always thinking ahead, looking to the next event,

working toward the completion of the next

assignment, and seeing what we can check off our to-

do lists. Our fast-paced, high-pressure society urges

us to accomplish as much as we can as quickly as we

can—so we can then accomplish even more. Over the

years, I have learned that the intense pursuit of one

goal after another can cause us to miss out on some

of the happiness life offers us. God does have

purposes and plans He wants us to fulfill during the

course of our earthly lives, but He also wants us to

enjoy and make the most of every day we live.

After years of ministry and interacting with people, I

have come to believe that people desperately want to

enjoy their lives—to live every day with peace,

contentment, and joy, which I like to define as

“anything from extreme hilarity to calm delight.” In

fact, I read recently that some people are so

desperate for joy they are joining laughter clubs. In

these clubs, people meet together every morning for

the sole purpose of finding some way to laugh before

they start their day. We may chuckle at the idea of

laughter clubs, but their existence clearly reveals a

deep hunger for joy in people’s hearts.

The Pew Research Center confirmed this when they

asked a number of Americans if they were enjoying

their lives. What do you think the results were? Only

about 34 percent report they are “very happy” in

life.1 This is not hard to believe, because we live in a

society that highly values what people have over who

they are. But nothing is worth having if we cannot

enjoy it. No amount of money, no measure of fame,

no job, no relationship, no talent or skill—nothing

does any good at all if we do not enjoy our lives.

What about you? Are you enjoying today as you look

toward tomorrow? Are you generally happy, content,

and satisfied with who you are and what you do each

day? Do you take time to notice and appreciate the

everyday experiences that make life rich and

rewarding? Or do you race through each day so you

can get to the next one? Do you take breaks and find

things to laugh about on a regular basis, or do you

allow the pressure of your responsibilities to carve a

frown on your face as you keep your nose to the

grindstone?

Perhaps you desperately want to enjoy everyday life,

but fear that actually enjoying something might not

be “holy” or pleasing to God. For some reason, many

of us have come to believe enjoying our lives is not

okay. Often, we are not even aware we think or feel

that way, but somehow we have decided we should

not enjoy our lives. Instead, we believe we are

supposed to be working, accomplishing, following

the rules, meeting the deadlines, doing things “right,”

and keeping people happy at any cost.

I have great news for you: God wants you to be happy

today and every day. He really does. Jesus’ statement

about life in John 10:10 is absolutely amazing to me:

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and

destroy. I came that they might have and enjoy life,

and have it in abundance (to the full, till it

overflows).”

What a scripture! Jesus wants us not simply to be

alive, but to enjoy being alive. You see, Jesus did not

come to us so our hearts would beat and our brains

would function. He did not come simply to give us

physical life, or to give us “just enough to get

through” life’s challenges and difficulties. You and I

were not created to simply exist, pass the time, mope

our way through life, dread each new day, or trudge

through our jobs with our eyes on the time clock, just

waiting to leave work and take our misery home. No,

we were made to enjoy every aspect of our lives,

every day of our lives. This is what God wants for us

and why Jesus came. He came to impart to us true

life—the rich, deep, joy-filled, radical life God

intended for us, the kind that is “in abundance, to the

full, until it overflows.”

I’ll never forget the woman who thanked me for

giving her permission to enjoy life after she heard

me teach on this subject. I know she represented

countless others who have never felt free to enjoy

life, so I want to make clear that we must believe

God’s will is for us to thoroughly enjoy life. You have

permission to enjoy today while you are reaching for

and embracing tomorrow—not just my permission,

but permission from God Himself.

I challenge you today to go to a new level of

enjoyment in your daily life. Determine now that you

are going to enjoy where you are today on your way

to where you want to be tomorrow. Say it with your

mouth; stick it on your bathroom mirror; put it on

your screen-saver: “I am determined to enjoy today!”

And influence everyone around you to do the same.

Whoever you are and whatever your level of

happiness, I invite you to step into greater joy. Live

with more passion; laugh more; relax more; smile

more; do more to make other people happy, and

enjoy more. You’ll be glad you did, and you will

accomplish more because we are the most creative

when we are the happiest.

Several years ago, there came a time in our ministry

when we changed the name of our television

broadcast and our magazine from Life in the Word to

Enjoying Everyday Life. One of the reasons for the

change was that I feel so strongly about the

importance of enjoying the present as we move

toward the future. In John 10:10, Jesus was basically

saying: “I came that you might have life and that you

would enjoy it.” Remember, He died so we could

experience authentic happiness. Not temporarily, not

once in a while, but all the time. He does not want us

simply to have life; He wants us to enjoy and

appreciate the gift of life He has given us. That begins

by realizing and believing God really does want us to

make the most of every day of our lives.

My own journey toward true happiness every day

has not been easy, and I’ll share more about that as

we go through this book. Enjoying daily life was

something I had to learn to do. But now that I know

how to do it, I wouldn’t want to live any other way.

My desire in this book is to share with you some of

the truths I’ve learned about the secret of true

happiness. As you read them and apply them to your

life, don’t be surprised if you find yourself enjoying

your life in ways you never dreamed possible. That’s

my prayer for you today.

—Joyce Meyer

CHAPTER 1

Enjoy Your Everyday Life

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their

minds to be.”

—ABRAHAM LINCOLN

The only life you can enjoy is your own. That

statement may seem so obvious it’s unnecessary, but

think about it. One of the primary reasons many

people do not enjoy their lives is that they are not

happy with the lives they have. When I speak to them

about enjoying their lives, the first thought they have

is, I would enjoy my life if I had your life, Joyce!

Instead of embracing the realities of their lives, these

people spend their time thinking, I wish I looked like

So-and-So. I wish I had So-and-So’s job. I wish I were

married. I wish my marriage weren’t so difficult. I

wish I had children. I wish my children would grow

up. I wish I had a new house. I wish I didn’t have

such a big house to clean. I wish I had a big ministry .

. .

The truth of the matter is, the first step to enjoying

our everyday lives is to accept the lives we’ve been

given. We must not allow jealousy or comparison to

cause us to be absent from our own lives because we

want someone else’s life.

The wise king Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 5:18, 19:

“Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is for

one to eat and drink, and to find enjoyment in all the

labor in which he labors under the sun all the days

which God gives him—for this is his [allotted] part.

Also, every man to whom God has given riches and

possessions, and the power to enjoy them and to

accept his appointed lot and to rejoice in his toil—

this is the gift of God [to him].”

I want you to notice the words “allotted part” and

“appointed lot” in these verses. What Solomon is

basically communicating here is: enjoy your life.

Take your “appointed lot” in life and enjoy it. In

other words, embrace the life—the personality, the

strengths and weaknesses, the family, the resources,

the opportunities, the physical qualities, the abilities,

the gifts, and the uniqueness—God has given you.

Maybe you struggle with things that do not appear to

be challenges for other people. For example, you may

have a physical handicap or a learning disability.

Perhaps you wanted to go to college, but could not.

Maybe you do not believe you have as many

outstanding qualities or remarkable gifts as someone

else. You may wish something were different about

your spouse, your children, your job, or your

financial situation. Whatever the case, you have to

take what you have and decide that you are going to

do the best you can with it. After all, your life will not

change until you start doing so.

God is asking you to be faithful with your life, not

with someone else’s. We see in Matthew 25 that the

master gave three men talents (a type of money in

the New Testament). To one he gave five talents, to

another two, and to another he gave one. The Bible

states he gave to each one according to his own

ability. The master then went on a long journey and

later returned for an accounting of what each man

did with the talents entrusted to him. The man who

received five talents invested his and gained five

more. He was able to not only return to the master

what was entrusted to him but also give back twice

as much as he started with. The same thing

happened with the man who was entrusted with two

talents. But the man who only had one talent buried

it because he was afraid and returned to the master

his one original talent. The master was well pleased

with the first man and the second man, but he

rebuked the third man severely. All the man had to

do was embrace his talent, invest it, and be able to

give his master back more than he started with, and

the master would have said to him, “Well done, good

and faithful servant.” He did not hear those words,

though, because he did nothing with what he had.

What are you doing with what

you have been given?

The fact that the third man did not have as much as

the first two men had nothing to do with the reward

he would have received had he been faithful with

what he had. God only holds us accountable for our

gifts, not anybody else’s. What are you doing with

what you have been given? I believe this is a

question we all need to ask ourselves quite

frequently.

MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT YOU HAVE

So often, I have heard women say, “I just wish I

looked like my friend.” I want to respond, “Do you

know what? You don’t. Take what you do have and

make the best of it.” I have had firsthand experience

with learning to deal with this kind of comparison

over the years.

This lesson hit home for me one time in the most

ordinary way when Dave and I went on an airplane

trip with two of our friends. Now, Dave and I could

never be accused of “traveling light.” That day, we

had nine suitcases. We travel often, and I decided

long ago that with our heavy travel schedule, I was

going to be comfortable and have everything I could

possibly need with me. And I always take too much.

Our friends only had two suitcases—a medium-sized

one they rolled and a small one they carried. When I

saw them, I thought, Now wait a minute, Dave and I

are two people; our friends are two people. We have

nine bags; they have two. Where am I missing it?

I finally looked at my friend and teasingly said, “Do

you know what? Part of the reason I have more

luggage than you do is that it just takes me a lot

longer than you to look good. I have to have more

face paint, more curling irons, more frizzes and

sprays and freezes and mousses and everything

else.”

Some of us simply have to work harder than others

to look our best. My friend has nice, thick, naturally

curly hair. She hardly has to do anything to make it

look good. My hair, on the other hand, has to be

washed and spritzed and dried and sprayed and all

sorts of things. I need several jars and bottles of hair

products to simply do my hair, but my friend has to

do little more than wash hers and she’s ready to go.

I wish I did not have to spend so much time and

energy on my hair. I really wish that, but wishing

will not change my hair! I have to be happy with

what God has given me, and if what He’s given me

requires more time than what He’s given someone

else, I have to accept that.

Determine today to take the first step

toward learning to enjoy your everyday

life by making the most of your life.

Likewise, you have to be happy with your life. God

has given you everything He has for a reason—and

on purpose. Everything about you is by His design. I

am not encouraging you to settle for situations that

need to be improved, but I am urging you to accept

the way God made you and the life He has given you.

Don’t complain; don’t compare; don’t covet someone

else’s life, and don’t spend your valuable time

wishing things were different. Realize that every life

includes good and bad, happy and sad, easy and

difficult, strength and weakness. Your life is really no

different than anyone else’s when you look at it from

a broad perspective. There may be certain specific

differences, but nobody has the perfect life.

Determine today to take the first step toward

learning to enjoy your everyday life by making the

most of your life. Embrace your life because God is

never going to give you someone else’s!

EMBRACE THE ORDINARY

Another key to true happiness lies in understanding

that most of life is “everyday.” Most of our lives

consist of a routine—an unremarkable series of

events that take place day after day, year after year.

So if we are really going to enjoy every day, we must

learn to embrace the ordinary—to delight in little

things, to appreciate small blessings, and to find

pleasure in the circumstances and situations other

people might overlook.

Another key to true happiness lies in

understanding that most of life is “everyday.”

Sometimes people think enjoying life means

celebrating special occasions, observing important

milestones, getting raises and promotions, going on a

vacation, buying something new, winning a big

game, or closing a significant business deal. The

truth is: life is not one big party; we should not

expect to giggle our way through every day; and we

cannot sit around waiting for the next exciting event.

Thankfully, those noteworthy things do happen, but

they are few and far between. They certainly do not

occur every day, or even once a week or once a

month. We need to celebrate life’s exciting occasions

and its big events, but in between them, we must be

able to find joy in fighting traffic, going to work,

cleaning house, raising children, taking out the trash,

paying the bills, and dealing with grouchy neighbors.

We all have responsibilities and things we must do,

so when I speak of enjoying each day, I am not

talking about entertaining ourselves from daylight

until dark or about getting “our way” all the time. I

am talking about the “everyday” situations I have

mentioned in this chapter and the whole host of

others I have not listed, the situations in which we

really learn to enjoy everyday life. Enjoying life

begins with making a decision to do so, because the

truth is, no matter what kind of lives we have, we

will not enjoy them unless we decide to do so.

Most of life involves getting up in the morning, going

to bed at night, and doing what we need to do in the

meantime. This reminds me of Mark 4:26, 27, where

Jesus said: “The kingdom of God is like a man who

scatters seed upon the ground, and then continues

sleeping and rising night and day while the seed

sprouts and grows and increases—he knows not

how.” This scripture teaches us that something

happens to a seed—a process of growth and

nourishment—that no one can see. Much

development takes place in the seed while it is

underground.

The same principle applies to our lives. Much of life

takes place when no one is looking; and God works in

our lives during the ordinary times. When nothing

remarkable seems to be taking place and everything

is “business as usual,” that’s where we develop

character and the ability to enjoy everyday life. And

as we enjoy life moment by moment, day by day,

week after week, and year after year, we find all of

life has become rich, deep, and satisfying. True life is

really not found in arriving at a destination; it is

found in the journey.

When nothing remarkable seems to be

taking place and everything is “business

as usual,” that’s where we develop character

and the ability to enjoy everyday life.

THE FREEDOM TO BE HAPPY

Not long ago, I ran across a story about a woman

who learned to enjoy everyday life after many years

of trying. As we close this chapter, I’d like to share it

with you.

I’ve never been an athlete. I’ve never been much

interested in sports, ever since I stopped playing

touch football with the boys when I hit puberty. I’ve

tried tennis. I hit the ball too high, too long, and way

over into left field. I’ve tried softball. Thank goodness

that ball is “soft” and big, because it felt just awful

when it hit me in the eye. I tried running, but I

couldn’t get anyone to chase me.

Finally, I settled on walking, and for a number of

years, I walked three to five miles a day. I realize that

there is an Olympic sport referred to as “walking,”

but when I tried that, all I succeeded in doing was

throwing my hip out.

I’m definitely not an athlete, but I make do,

especially in my mid-life years. Which brings a

question to my mind. When did I hit mid-life? I

remember when I hit thirty. I had to visit a grief

counselor, because I knew my life was over. I

remember forty. I had to see a grief counselor the

day after my first child graduated from high school

and moved out of the house, because I knew my life

was over.

Then I hit fifty, and I was all excited, because I was

able to join an organization called AARP. My

husband was especially excited because he is

younger than I, and he got to join too!

Fifty became the magic age. I knew that as long as I

was in good health, in this day and age, I probably

had a good fifty years ahead of me. Then came the

asthma. OK, I had that much earlier, but it only

became life-threatening after fifty. Then came the

fibromyalgia. OK, I had that earlier, but it’s not life-

threatening. Then came the arthritis, and more

recently at fifty-five, the diabetes. Somewhere in

there, I became very interested in pharmaceuticals.

But finally one day I became free.

I began by noticing the sunsets, and now I had the

time to stop and really wonder at the beauty and the

magnitude of it all. Then I moved onto the sunrises,

and I quickly found out that if I wasted the early

morning, I missed the loveliest part of the day. Then I

began to notice how grateful I was to be able to

witness the changing of the seasons. The first

whisper of spring, the rustling of the leaves beneath

my feet in the fall.

When illness would hit me, I found that I actually

enjoyed the solitude—a time to reflect, gather my

thoughts, and pray, at leisure. I found that I was

experiencing this mid-life season, and I was no

longer missing every moment, shackled to the chains

of worry and what might be. I found that worrying

about tomorrow only served to make me overlook

the blessings of today.

It’s not always easy. A few loads of laundry and a pile

of dishes can take an entire day. But then, I don’t

push myself a lot. So I forget to make the bed as I

watch the rosy glow of dawn meet the rising sun. I

have time to walk our wooded acre with my little

dachshund straining at the leash.

I get to meet the day every day. I get to say good-night

to the sunsets. I’ve studied a lot of sunsets in the last

five years, and I’ve never seen two that were alike. I

get to know my Creator as I never have before, and

I’ve gotten to make my mind up about the mysteries

of life. I’ve grown certain that all this was no

accident.

I feed the birds and I take great delight in their

multicolored hues, especially in the spring. I drag a

chair to stand on so that I can fill the feeders to the

brim. I say a little prayer as I wobble, a little

cockeyed, on the chair, and I laugh at myself and all

the pretensions of my younger life. I take great

delight in my life. I thank God for all the precious

little things of every day. Friends. Family. Neighbors.

And health—a health of the soul. For I have come to

understand what real health is, and when you have

real health, then you truly have everything.1

The author of this story did not truly enjoy life until

she experienced illness. Many times, people rush

through their days without stopping to delight in the

everyday, and then, when they face a crisis, they

finally slow down enough to enjoy life, family,

friends, work, and simply being alive.

I don’t want a crisis or an illness to have to be the

catalyst that causes you to enjoy each day of your

life. I want you to choose happiness right now—

because it is a choice. Your life is God’s gift to you,

even in its common, run-of-the-mill, mundane

ordinariness. Decide today you are going to stop

waiting for the big breaks and the exciting events

before you’re happy. In fact, do something today that

will raise your joy level in the midst of your everyday

life.

CHAPTER 2

Start With God

“We ought to see the face of God every morning

before we see the face of man.”

—D. L. MOODY

There once was a lady who had to travel extensively

for her business, and most of her travel involved

flying. But flying made her very nervous, so she

always took her Bible to read on long flights because

it helped her relax.

On one trip, she was sitting next to a man. When he

saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle

and a smirk, and went back to what he was doing.

After a while, he turned to her and asked, “You don’t

really believe all that stuff in that book, do you?”

The lady replied, “Of course I do. It’s in the Bible.”

He said, “Well, what about that guy who was

swallowed by the whale?”

She replied, “Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that story. It is

in the Bible.”

He asked, “Well, how do you suppose he survived all

that time inside a whale?”

The lady said, “Well, I don’t really know. I guess I will

ask him when I get to heaven.”

“What if he isn’t in heaven?” the man asked

sarcastically.

“Then you can ask him!” replied the lady.1

This humorous story reminds us we all need a

personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

This relationship is necessary for us to go to heaven

when we die and to spend eternity with Him, but it is

also essential if we want to enjoy our lives today. The

Bible teaches us that in God “we live and move and

have our being” (Acts 17:28). That tells me in order to

have real life, we need to be “in God,” vitally

connected to Him in an intimate, heart-to-heart

communion.

I believe we need to begin each day of our lives

talking to God, listening to Him, and spending time in

His Word. I encourage you to start every day with

God. Before your feet even hit the floor in the

mornings, make a habit of meditating on a Bible

verse, reminding yourself of a biblical principle, or

simply saying, “Good morning, Lord. I love You.”

Spend meaningful time in God’s presence before you

go about the other activities of your day.

One of my favorite scriptures to pray first thing in

the morning is Psalm 25:1: “Unto You, O Lord, do I

bring my life.” We need to submit everything about

our lives to Him—our work, our relationships, our

time, our energy, the decisions we need to make.

Whether or not we use the exact words, we can apply

the principle of Psalm 25:1, bringing every aspect of

our daily lives to Him. This will make an enormous

difference in your ability to enjoy our lives today and

embrace every day that lies ahead.

LIVE BY THE WORD

The best advice I could ever give you is to live your

life according to the truth of God’s Word. I believe we

should honor God’s Word in our lives, and give it a

place of priority every day by reading and studying it

and doing it to the best of our ability. From a

personal perspective, I can honestly say I love God’s

Word. Nothing on earth has changed my life—and

changed me—the way God’s Word has. As a minister,

I can say I have seen countless people experience

radical transformation and positive, lasting change

as they have applied biblical truths and principles to

their lives.

The best advice I could ever give you is to live

your life according to the truth of God’s Word.

The Bible contains answers to every question you

could ever have and every situation you will ever

face. True, it will not tell you specifically where to go

on vacation next year or what color to paint your

house, but it will impart to you principles of right

living, right thinking, wisdom, and faith. It will

instruct you through stories of men and women who

lived long ago, but faced many of the same human

challenges and relational struggles you and I face

today. It will encourage you to persevere, inspire you

to overcome, help you make good decisions, and

teach you to hear and obey God’s voice.

I am always saddened when I encounter people who

view the Bible as an outdated, irrelevant religious

book. Yes, its words are centuries old, but instead of

being old-fashioned or obsolete, they are ancient

truths that have stood the test of time and been

proven over and over and over again. The words of

Scripture are alive; they are saturated with the

power of God. They are as real and applicable today

as they have ever been—and in our world today, we

desperately need to be grounded in this kind of godly

truth. The Bible is not only meant for preachers and

“church people”; it is a book for everyone in every

walk of life. It is spiritual, but it is also extremely

practical.

God has given us His Word as a source

of strength, wisdom, and guidance in

our everyday lives.

God has given us His Word as a source of strength,

wisdom, and guidance in our everyday lives. Just

take a look at some of the topics it addresses. Some of

these, if not all of them, are sure to be aspects of your

daily life:

Managing finances: “The rich rule over the poor, and

the borrower is servant to the lender” (Proverbs

22:7).

“For which of you, wishing to build a farm building,

does not first sit down and calculate the cost [to see]

whether he has sufficient means to finish it?” (Luke

14:28).

Choosing friends: “Make no friendships with a man

given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not

associate” (Proverbs 22:24).

“Go from the presence of a foolish and self-confident

man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips”

(Proverbs 14:7).

Overcoming the temptation to gossip: “He who

guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from

troubles” (Proverbs 21:23).

“Argue your cause with your neighbor himself;

discover not and disclose not another’s secret”

(Proverbs 25:9).

Developing a work ethic: “He who cultivates his land

will have plenty of bread, but he who follows

worthless people and pursuits will have poverty

enough” (Proverbs 28:19).

“If anyone will not work, neither let him eat” (2

Thessalonians 3:10).

Watching your mouth: “He who guards his mouth

and his tongue keeps himself from troubles”

(Proverbs 21:23).

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There

is more hope for a [self-confident] fool than for

him?” (Proverbs 29:20).

Overseeing your household: “Through skillful and

godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family)

built, and by understanding it is established [on a

sound and good foundation]” (Proverbs 24:3).

“Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look

well to your herds” (Proverbs 27:23).

Raising children: “Train up a child in the way he

should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or

bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it”

(Proverbs 22:6).

“Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to

anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but

rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline

and the counsel and admonition of the Lord”

(Ephesians 6:4).

Disciplining children: “Discipline your son while

there is hope, but do not [indulge your angry

resentments by undue chastisements and] set

yourself to his ruin” (Proverbs 19:18).

“Correct your son and he will give you rest; yes, he

will give delight to your heart” (Proverbs 29:17).

Responding to offense or injustice: “Say not, I will do

to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back

for his deed” (Proverbs 24:29).

“You have heard that it was said, You shall love your

neighbor and hate your enemy; but I tell you, Love

your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

(Matthew 5:43, 44).

Dealing with anger: “When angry, do not sin; do not

ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or

indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no

[such] room or foothold for the devil [give no

opportunity to him]” (Ephesians 4:26, 27).

“Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every

man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to

speak, slow to take offense and to get angry” (James

1:19).

SPEAK THE WORD

For many years, my mouth got me in trouble.

Sometimes, I was undisciplined in my speech and

made comments I should not have made to other

people; sometimes, I said things I later wished I had

not said; and a lot of the time, I was grumbling,

complaining, and speaking negatively. This made me

—and everyone around me—miserable!

As I grew in my personal relationship with God, I

came to realize words have power and my negative

words were not helping me enjoy my life. Over time,

I was able to stop speaking negatively, and I saw

some improvement, but not as much as I wanted.

Then one day, as I was praying, I sensed God

speaking to my heart, Joyce, you have stopped saying

negative things, but you have not started saying

positive things.

I knew God’s Word is full of positive, life-giving, life-

changing truth, so I began to make a list of scriptures

that reflected the positive changes I longed to see in

my life. I then started speaking those words aloud,

sometimes several times per day, and the results

were amazing.

Let me encourage you to

speak God’s Word aloud.

Let me encourage you to speak God’s Word aloud

too. Go through the Bible and identify scriptures that

represent God’s truth and perspective on the

situations important in your life. Whether you need

physical healing, hope for your future, comfort

concerning your children, wisdom in relationships,

or help getting your fear or anger under control, you

can find a scripture on the subject. There are many

books that make this easy for you by listing topics

such as these (and many others) and then listing

corresponding scriptures. One such resource is my

book The Secret Power of Speaking God’s Word.

SAY AND DO

In addition to speaking God’s Word aloud, we must

also obey it. James 1:22 says, “But be doers of the

word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to

it.” One of the primary ways we position ourselves

for God’s blessings is by obeying His Word. In fact,

this very point is the message of much of the Bible,

especially the Old Testament: “If you obey God, you’ll

be blessed. If you don’t, you won’t.”

God’s Word is truth, and we know from John 8:32

that the truth sets us free. But God’s truth can only be

effective for us if we receive it in our hearts and

apply it to our everyday circumstances through

obedience. Stop right now and ask yourself if you are

applying God’s principles to your own situations or if

you have fallen into the trap of merely reading it out

of duty. If we want the Word to work in our lives, we

need to do more than read it, study it, know it, and

confess it; we have to do as it says. I understand this

is not always easy—especially when we would rather

stay angry at someone and we see that the Word says

we must forgive; or when we would rather spend a

day being lazy and we know the Word teaches us to

be diligent—but obedience is necessary if we want to

enjoy God’s blessings. In John 13:17, Jesus said, “If

you know these things, blessed and happy and to be

envied are you if you practice them [if you act

accordingly and really do them].”

KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN

Talking with God about everything gives us a sense

of belonging, of being cared for by Someone on our

side Who is powerful. One of the phrases I like to use

when teaching on prayer is: “Pray your way through

the day.” This is certainly good advice to follow if we

want to enjoy our lives each day. We need to

remember we can pray anytime, anywhere.

Ephesians 6:18 instructs us to “pray at all times (on

every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all

[manner of] prayer,” and 1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells

us to be “unceasing in prayer.” In other words, we

need to keep the lines of communication open with

God. We need to stay in constant fellowship with Him

through prayer, all day, every day.

Talking with God about everything gives us a

sense of belonging, of being cared for by Someone

on our side Who is powerful.

While there are times when we need to be very

diligent, focused, and set apart as we pray, we do not

have to wait until we are in church or some other

designated place, or until we have a specific amount

of time, before we pray. The best way I know to be

“unceasing in prayer” is to live as though God is

constantly paying attention to us, because He is. For

example, we can pray quick, simple, effective prayers

aloud or silently. We can say silently while sitting in

a business meeting: Oh God, help me make a good

decision here. Give me Your wisdom to speak wisely

and be a blessing to my company. We can whisper a

prayer as we drop off our children at school: “God,

protect them today. Help them learn everything they

need to know. Give them favor with their teachers

and their friends.”

We can also pray prayers of praise and thanksgiving

as we go about our daily lives, saying things like:

“Thank You, Lord, for helping me through this day,”

or “I worship You, God, for Your goodness this

afternoon.” These types of prayers take only a few

seconds, but they keep us focused on God, aware of

His presence, and in continual communication with

Him. They keep us connected to a power source

beyond our understanding. Living in the presence of

God releases joy in our lives and gives us the ability

to enjoy everything we do.

Make your relationship with God top priority,

and refuse to let the pressures of daily living

distract you from Him.

Let me urge you to live your life the way I have

described in this chapter. Start every day with God.

Read His Word; speak it aloud; and obey it.

Determine to live your life and approach the

situations you face daily according to His truth. In

addition, pray your way through every day. Always

remember you do not need to impress God with

eloquent prayers; instead, keep them simple and

sincere. Make your relationship with God top

priority, and refuse to let the pressures of daily living

distract you from Him. He is always with you and He

is always for you, so begin your day with Him, walk

with Him through all the ordinary things you have to

do, and enjoy His presence every day.

CHAPTER 3

Make The Choice

“All I can say about life is . . . enjoy it!”

—BOB NEWHART

I don’t have to tell you life is not perfect. That is not

breaking news to you, is it? Truly, no one’s life is

everything he or she wants it to be. We all have

challenges and struggles, sometimes even

heartbreaks and tragedies. I have never met one

person who could honestly say, “Every day of my life

is every bit as wonderful as I always dreamed it

would be.”

What may be news to some people is that God’s

desire is not only to make us happy or to give us the

lives we’ve always hoped for. Often, we so

desperately want unsaved people to become

Christians we tell them their lives will be better if

they will just receive Jesus. In many ways, this is

true, but sometimes we paint such a rosy picture we

lead people to believe they will never have another

problem again for the rest of their lives and

everything will be wonderful and sublime if they will

simply ask Jesus to be their Lord and Savior. This is

not true. Jesus did not come to give anyone a life of

leisure; Jesus came to give us abundant life, but not a

trouble-free life. Part of the abundance He offers

those who belong to Him is the power of His Spirit to

overcome what others cannot. You see, the good

news is that, as a Christian, even if you have a

problem you have the Problem Solver living in you,

ready to help at any time.

As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit to

help us deal with circumstances differently than

nonbelievers do. When we are in Christ, we are

supernaturally anointed to live our natural, ordinary

lives in supernatural ways. God’s anointing is the

presence and power of the Holy Spirit always

available to us. We can rejoice in situations in which

those who do not have access to God’s power could

not be happy at all. We can be at peace in the midst

of a crisis, and we can be positive when everything

around is gloomy and depressing. Why? Because we

believe all things eventually work out for good and

we do not allow our circumstances or our feelings to

determine our decisions. We know we have choices

to make—and we can choose joy, peace, positive

attitudes, and stability. We can enjoy every day of

our lives, but that will not happen by accident; we

must choose to do so.

When we are in Christ, we are supernaturally

anointed to live our natural, ordinary lives

in super-natural ways.

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE

I have learned some important lessons about

choosing to enjoy life through the way I raised my

children. I loved them; I was a responsible parent;

and I certainly cannot say I never enjoyed my

children, but I look back now and realize I did not

enjoy them as fully as I could have and wish I had.

The reason I did not enjoy them more often is that I

was a workaholic. Professionally, I was so busy

working, and at home, I was so busy keeping

everything neat and tidy and clean I never felt free to

relax and enjoy them. (I didn’t realize the mess

would still be there the next day and that some

quality time with my children was more important!)

I can remember many times when my children

wanted me to stop working and said, “Come and play

with me, Mommy.” My immediate response was, “Oh,

I can’t do that, I’ve got work to do.”

We will always have work to do, which means we

will have to choose to take a break and enjoy life

sometimes. We need balance when it comes to

choosing how we spend our time. There are some

situations especially where our children are

concerned, we will never have an opportunity to

relive. If we do not choose to embrace and enjoy

them when we can, we will reach the end of our lives

and be filled with regret. The only way we can avoid

having regrets tomorrow is to make better choices

today.

The only way we can avoid having regrets

tomorrow is to make better choices today.

This short article below drives home the importance

of making good choices each day and reminds us to

focus on what is truly important in life.

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or

days. All the things you collected, whether treasured

or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to

irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or

what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and

jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes,

ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important

will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from or what side of

the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or

brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be

irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days

be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what

you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your

significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what

you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,

compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched,

empowered or encouraged others to emulate your

example.

What will matter is not your competence but your

character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,

but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re

gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the

memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be

remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.1

CHOOSE TO ENJOY

I truly enjoy what I do, but it hasn’t always been that

way. Years ago, I realized that as much as I loved

being in the ministry and doing what God called me

to do, I really wasn’t enjoying it. I know it may seem

strange to say, “I loved it, but I didn’t enjoy it,” so let

me explain.

I am a hard worker and a very responsible person. I

have a lot to keep up with, many activities to oversee,

and a great deal of responsibility in life and in

ministry. I was doing a good job handling my

responsibilities and fulfilling my obligations, and a

certain part of me was very satisfied. But, at the

same time, I always found myself thinking, Boy, I

sure will be glad when this conference is over so I

can get home and enjoy Sunday.

Many people think the same way I did. We start so

many sentences with “I’ll be so glad when [fill in the

blank].” This kind of thinking keeps us so focused on

where we want to go that we do not enjoy getting

there. When I realized I was not enjoying the

journey, I simply made a decision to change. I made

some adjustments that made my intense travel and

ministry schedule easier and more comfortable, but

most importantly, I decided that if I were going to

spend my time flying on airplanes, staying in hotels,

and standing on my feet preaching for hours, I was

going to enjoy it.

Soon, I did reach a whole new level of joy because I

realized that all it takes to begin enjoying something

—anything—is a choice. All it takes is a new mindset,

a deliberate decision to enjoy what you are doing.

Just as you can decide to be frustrated or unhappy,

you can also decide to be happy in any situation.

Just as you can decide to be frustrated

or unhappy, you can also decide to be

happy in any situation.

All of us are tempted at times to complain and say we

are not happy in life. We all have moments and

seasons when we do not enjoy our lives. Sometimes,

getting past that is simply a matter of telling yourself,

“Well, I just need to make a decision. If I have to

clean house (or change the oil in the car or do the

laundry or cut the grass), I’m going to choose to enjoy

life while I do it.” We must prepare ourselves

mentally for what we need to do.

We need to choose to have positive attitudes, because

there is so much to be unhappy, concerned, and even

disturbed about when we look at the world. If we are

going to enjoy our lives, we will have to do so on

purpose. If we don’t do it intentionally by making a

decision, we are not likely to do it at all. Wherever

we are, whatever we are going through, we can say,

“This is where I am; this is what’s going on in my life;

and I choose to make the most of it.”

THE SECRET OF CONTENTMENT

I believe you can enjoy almost everything about your

life if you will make that decision. Unless you are in

the midst of a major crisis, there is probably very

little going on in your life you cannot find a way to

enjoy. Even in challenging situations or

relationships, you can find something positive. If

nothing else, you can decide to rejoice in the fact

they are developing character in you and helping

you grow!

We can learn to enjoy life even during difficult times.

The apostle Paul, a man acquainted both with life’s

comforts and ease and with difficulty, writes:

We can learn to enjoy life even

during difficult times.

“For I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the

point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in

whatever state I am. I know how to be abased and

live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know

also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I

have learned in any and all circumstances the secret

of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going

hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or

going without and being in want. I have strength for

all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready

for anything and equal to anything through Him

Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-

sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]” (Philippians 4:11–

13).

Paul learned to be the same in every season—to be

content, or satisfied, in every situation. He made a

choice to make the best of whatever came his way,

and we can too. What was Paul’s secret to

contentment? I think he believed the words he wrote

in Romans 8:28: “We are assured and know that [God

being a partner in their labor] all things work

together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and

for those who love God and are called according to

[His] design and purpose.” I believe Paul had enough

experience to realize there was no point in fighting

the inevitable. Life is not perfect; we have to deal

with it as it is; and we can choose whether to enjoy it

or not.

I also think Paul believed he developed godly

character during the abasing times in his life and

enjoyed the growth he attained in the times of

abounding. It is in times of difficulty we press deeper

into God and His ways. He knows when we need

seasons of abounding, and He is always faithful to

provide. God will never allow more trouble to come

to us than we can bear, but He always provides the

way out (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).

As I think about this principle, I am reminded of my

work with a strength coach. When he thinks I am

ready to develop more muscle, he gives me more

weight to lift. But I have noticed that he is always

right beside me and if at any time he sees I am

having too much difficulty lifting the weight, he

quickly takes it from me so I won’t hurt myself. God

has used this example in my life to show me how He

relates to us. If at any time we truly have more than

we can handle, He will intervene and help us.

JENNY’S CHOICE

The world is full of people who make difficult choices

to enjoy life in the face of suffering and hardship.

One of those people is a young woman named Jenny,

whose story I want to share with you as we close this

chapter:

“A Different Kind of Athlete”

We found out that Jenny was hearing impaired,

when she was four and a half years old. Several

surgeries and speech classes later, when she was

seven, we found out that Jenny had Juvenile

Rheumatoid Arthritis.

She could not put pressure on the heels of her feet, so

she walked on tiptoe, and when the pain became

unbearable, I carried her. Jenny was fortunate,

though, because she did not suffer the deformities,

often associated with JRA.

All through grade school, and on into high school,

Jenny suffered, yet never complained. She took her

medicine, and I would often wrap her feet in

steaming towels, and hold her until the pain eased.

But, as soon as she could withstand the pain, Jenny

immediately carried on, as though she were pain

free.

She wore a smile on her face, a song on her lips, and

a love and acceptance of others, that was, simply,

amazing. I don’t remember her ever voicing self-pity.

She ran, when she could run. She played when she

could play, and she danced when she could dance.

And, when she could do none of these things, she

took her medicine, and she waited until she could.

Jenny, a beautiful blonde, with warm brown eyes,

was never a cheerleader. She never competed in a

sport. She could not even take part in a Gym Class,

though she took the same health class four years in a

row, just so she could pass with a substitute credit

each year. She joined the band. She won a place in

the Governor’s School for the Arts; yet, no one in the

Charleston, South Carolina School System knew what

to do with Jenny. The perimeters were, simply, not in

place to deal with a student, who was both active and

handicapped.

Jenny continued to have one surgery after another

on her ears, all through school. Her hearing

improved to 60%, and she taught herself to read lips.

She carried a pillow to school, all through high

school, and once, when she suddenly experienced

crippling pain, her friends scooped her up, and

carried her from class to class.

She was totally mainstreamed, popular, and funny,

attending every football game, cheering the team on,

carrying her pillow everywhere she went, so that she

could cushion the pain, when she sat down. Then

came her senior year. She would be considered for

scholarships; however school activities, especially

sports, could often mean the difference between

receiving an award or losing out.

So Jenny came to a decision; and in her quirky,

unorthodox manner, she began to bombard the high

school football coach. She begged. She pleaded. She

promised. She got her best friend to sign up with her.

Finally the coach gave in, with the admonition, “If

you miss one game, you’re out!” So, Jenny became

Manager of the Garrett High School Football Team.

She carried big buckets of water to her teammates.

She bandaged knees and ankles before every game.

She massaged necks and backs. She gave pep talks.

She was continually at their beck and call, and it

turned out to be one of the best years for the Garrett

High School Football Team, in its twenty-five-year

history. Often Jenny could be seen carrying a bucket

of water in each hand, nearly dragging them, along

with her pillow tucked under her arm.

When asked why he thought that the team was

winning all their games, even in the face of injury,

one linebacker explained, in his soft, Charleston

drawl, “Well, when you’ve been knocked down, and

you can’t seem to move, you look up and see Jenny

Lewis, limping across the field, dragging her buckets

and carrying her pillow. It makes anything the rest of

us may suffer seem pretty insignificant.”

At the Senior Awards ceremony, Jenny received a

number of scholarships to College of Charleston. Her

favorite scholarship, however, was a small one from

the Charleston Women’s Club. The President of the

Women’s Club listed Jenny’s accomplishments,

starting with her grades, and ending with an excited,

“. . . and the first girl to letter in football, in Garrett

High School history!!”2

CHAPTER 4

Laugh A Lot

“Laughter is an instant vacation!”

—MILTON BERLE

I always appreciate humorous stories, so before I

share anything else with you in this chapter, here’s a

story guaranteed to make you chuckle:

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last

winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in

Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next

day, at the conclusion of her business trip to

Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant

weather and a nice time together.

Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix-up at the

boarding gate, and the man was told he would have

to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a

supervisor, but was told the airline was not

responsible for the problem and it would do no good

to complain.

Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered

that Miami Beach was having a heat wave. Miami’s

weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle’s

was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his

wife would arrive as planned.

He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off

and quickly sent his wife an email. However, due to

his haste, he made an error in the email address. His

message, therefore, arrived at the home of an elderly

preacher’s wife, whose even older husband had died

only the day before. When the grieving widow

opened her email, she took one look at the monitor,

let out an anguished scream and fell to the floor

dead.

Her family rushed to her room where they saw this

message on the screen:

Dearest wife,

Departed yesterday, as you know.

Just now got checked in.

Some confusion at the gate.

Appeal was denied.

Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.

Your loving husband.

P.S. Things are not as we thought. You’re going to be

surprised at how hot it is down here.1

LIKE A MEDICINE

You and I need to laugh and be lighthearted. Even

the Bible says lightheartedness is good for us, and

throughout the Scriptures we are encouraged to

“rejoice,” to “be joyful,” and to “be glad.” Many of us

know Proverbs 17:22 in the old King James Version,

which says, “A merry heart doeth good like a

medicine.” In the Amplified Bible, this verse says, “A

happy heart is good medicine.” In both translations,

we see that being joyful is of great benefit to us.

Most know laughter can pull us out of the pit of

depression or sadness; it can even give us boosts of

energy; and it can completely change our attitude or

outlook on a situation. I did some research on

laughter one time and learned some additional

information about it. For instance, when we laugh, it

actually releases tension, anxiety, anger, fear, shame,

and guilt. Laughter also increases antibodies and is

believed to have a protective capacity against

viruses, bacteria, and other microorganisms.

Most know laughter can pull us out of the pit of

depression or sadness; it can even give us boosts

of energy; and it can completely change our

attitude or outlook on a situation.

Science affirms that laughter truly is like a medicine

because it causes the release of body chemicals

called endorphins. These substances help relieve

pain and create a sense of well-being within us.

Studies indicate that endorphins may also reduce

stress, enhance circulation, improve the immune

system, lower blood pressure, stimulate the nervous

system, decrease cholesterol, and strengthen the

heart. Like a massage, a good belly laugh can

stimulate all of our major organs. Laughter, some

say, is equivalent to any other standard aerobic

exercise. A good, hearty chuckle really is like internal

jogging. It’s an internal aerobic exercise; we inhale

more oxygen when we laugh; and researches say it

can increase the capacity of our lungs.

Some of the findings I have mentioned have certainly

proven to be true in my life. As just one example, I

remember a night when my family and I were

playing a game. I had a really terrible headache, but

something funny happened and I started laughing

hysterically, having several minutes of side-splitting

laughter. When I finally stopped, I noticed that my

headache was completely gone.

LIGHTEN UP!

Did you know that the average man or woman

laughs 4 to 8 times per day, but the average child

laughs about 150 times per day? No wonder the Bible

says we need to approach Jesus as little children.

Children are happy! We adults, on the other hand,

need to lighten up. We would be so much better off if

we would stop being so very serious about

everything and start enjoying our lives more.

The average child laughs about 150 times

per day. No wonder the Bible says we

need to approach Jesus as little children.

One of the dynamics causing adults much trouble is

we take our personal faults and mistakes so

seriously. We spend too much time opposing

ourselves, being our own worst enemies. We often

judge ourselves more strictly than we judge others,

and we focus on our faults far too intensely. Of

course, there are times when situations are grave

and there are circumstances requiring us to be

serious. But, so many of the little, everyday things we

treat as monumental are really not so terribly

important. Someone once said, “Blessed are those

who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never

cease to be amused.” So let me encourage you today:

give yourself a break!

God knew every flaw and weakness you would have

and every mistake you would make when He called

you into relationship with Himself. Nothing about

you is a surprise to God. Sometimes people think God

extends salvation to us and then sits in heaven,

looking down at us, saying, “Oh no. Now what am I

going to do? I didn’t know he was going to do that!”

The Bible teaches us God knows everything we will

ever do or say. He made us; He made us to be

imperfect; He made us to need Him. Through His

Word, He is still saying to us today what He told

Jeremiah centuries ago: “I know you.” Specifically,

He spoke to Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the

womb I knew and approved of you [as My chosen

instrument].” (Jeremiah 1:5).

God knows—and has always known—everything

about you. He knows what you will think, do, and say

every day for the rest of your life on earth. He also

knows how He will help you, teach you, correct you,

encourage you, and give you grace for all your faults

and failures. He is always for you, never against you,

no matter what you do. This truth should set you free

to lighten up, enjoy being whom God made you to be,

and have a laugh at your own expense.

You are who you are. You do what you do, and it’s

not always perfect. In fact, sometimes you really

mess up! That’s part of being human. But if you also

love God, have a heart to change, and ask Him to help

you, then you can relax. God is working on you,

changing you every day, helping you grow. American

actress and Academy Award winner Ethel Barrymore

once said: “You grow up the day you have the first

real laugh at yourself.” I believe she’s right about

that. We need to have childlike hearts that laugh

easily and smile readily, but we also need to have

enough maturity to be lighthearted about ourselves.

So accept who you are; laugh at yourself; and enjoy

your life today.

American actress and Academy Award winner

Ethel Barrymore once said: “You grow up the day

you have the first real laugh at yourself.”

YOUR JOY IS YOUR STRENGTH

Choosing to laugh, be joyful, and take a lighthearted

approach to many things in life will do more than

make you a pleasant person. Nehemiah 8:10 says

“the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Think about it:

How strong or confident do you feel when you are

discouraged, depressed, or “down in the dumps”?

You don’t feel strong at all. But when you allow God

to fill you with joy, you feel as though you can do

anything.

Many times, when Satan comes against us, he is

simply trying to steal our joy. He wants us to fear,

despair, or have a negative outlook on life because he

knows if he can dampen our joy, he can steal our

strength. In order to stay strong, we must also stay

joyful.

Mark Twain said, “The human race has one really

effective weapon, and that is laughter.” As believers,

we know God has given us many spiritual weapons,

but Twain is right in the fact that laughter is a

weapon. Laughter in and of itself is not the same as

joy, but laughter certainly is an aspect of joy.

Sometimes I am amazed at the lack of joy in people’s

lives, but I understand it. I was once a person who

really struggled to enjoy life. I was legalistic; I was a

workaholic; and I grew up in an environment where

being happy was not okay and fun was not

something we valued. The same dynamics are true

for many people. They simply grew up in an

atmosphere of fear, stress, strife and anger,

confusion, or other dysfunctions. Perhaps they were

criticized for being lighthearted or surrounded by

such miserable people they dared not appear to be

happy. For them, and for me, the goal of each day

was to survive it, not enjoy it.

JOY IN THE MIDST OF TROUBLE

There are also people who seem to think they cannot

enjoy their lives if they have any problems. If they

have problems, they focus intensely on finding a

solution, and they will not relax or enjoy life until the

problems are solved. Of course, there are times we

need to address urgent matters, and there are times

we need to apply spiritual disciplines in our lives, but

we do not have to live under constant pressure or

rigid demands. We can rejoice in spite of and the

midst of our problems! Start by smiling a lot; a smile

is a way to prime the pump of joy, an effective

weapon against all problems. Most of the time, if we

will simply begin to find the joy, we will overcome

the obstacles against us and be better able to handle

the problems we have.

We can rejoice in spite of and

the midst of our problems!

I think this is one reason the apostle Paul said,

“Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden

yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice!” (Philippians

4:4). Paul knew that joy gives us strength. He faced

many hardships and difficulties during his life. He

had plenty of reasons to be afraid, discouraged, and

depressed. Just read his description of his ministry:

“But we commend ourselves in every way as [true]

servants of God; through great endurance, in

tribulation and suffering, in hardships and

privations, in sore straits and calamities, in beatings,

imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless watching,

hunger” (2 Corinthians 6:4, 5). Now there is a man

who had many reasons not to rejoice! Paul could

have decided to live his life in “survival mode,” but

he chose to be joyful. In fact, several verses after the

passage above, he writes, “[We are treated] as

unknown and ignored [by the world], and [yet we

are] well-known and recognized [by God and His

people]; as dying, and yet here we are alive; as

chastened by suffering and [yet] not killed; as

grieved and mourning, yet [we are] always rejoicing”

(vv. 9, 10, emphasis mine). We need to make the

same choice Paul did—to rejoice always, even in

difficult situations.

Recently, a woman told me that my teaching had

changed her life, so I asked her, “What is the most

significant way it has changed you?” She responded,

“You have taught me that I don’t have to ‘white

knuckle it’ through life until I die and go to heaven,

but that I can actually enjoy the journey.”

We need to remind ourselves often that Jesus died so

we could do much more than simply “make it”

through another day. Remember, in John 10:10, He

said He came so we could “have and enjoy life.” He

also said, in John 17:13, “I say these things while I am

still in the world, so that My joy may be made full

and complete and perfect in them [that they may

experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My

enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that

they may have My gladness within them, filling their

hearts].” What a scripture! Jesus wants His joy to be

made full in us; He wants us to experience His

delight. That’s what I’m praying for you—that the joy

of the Lord would fill your heart and be your

strength. Don’t let circumstances or situations steal

your joy, but be determined to stay strong by staying

joyful. Let Jesus’ joy be complete in you, and enjoy

your life today. Smile, sing, be positive, be

lighthearted, hum a tune—and by all means, laugh.

Let Jesus’ joy be complete in you, and

enjoy your life today. Smile, sing, be

positive, be lighthearted, hum a tune—

and by all means, laugh.

CHAPTER 5

Know Who You Are

“Know, first, who you are . . . ”

—EPICTETUS

How would you respond if I asked, “Who are you?”

Would your first inclination be to list the things you

do and the roles you play in life? Would you say, “I

am a flight attendant,” “I am a brain surgeon,” “I am

a banker,” “I am a minister,” “I am a wife and a

mother,” or “I am a high school student”? Would you

tell me where you live, what your hobbies and

interests are, or what you want to do in the future?

Any of these answers would describe what you do,

but none of them would tell me who you are.

Being in Christ is not about what

you do, but about who you are.

As a believer, one of the most important realities for

you to understand is who you are in Christ, your

identity in Him. When I first heard the phrase “who

you are in Christ,” I did not know what it meant. But

understanding these powerful words is vitally

important. When people receive Jesus Christ by faith

as their personal Savior, God sees them as made right

with Him and as “in” Jesus. Being in Christ provides

you with certain rights and privileges, the rights and

privileges that belong to the children of God. Being in

Christ is not about what you do, but about who you

are. It’s not about how you view yourself, but about

how God sees you. It’s not about your activity; it’s

about your identity. It’s not about your “do”; it’s

about your “who.” It is about what you believe.

If the daughter of the queen of England desired to

visit the United States, I doubt anyone would ask for

a list of what she could do. She would have

immediate access and favor because of who she was.

If this dynamic works with a human being, just

imagine how much more valuable it is to be a child

of God. However, if the queen’s daughter did not

know who she was, she would not use her identity to

her advantage. The same principle applies to those

who do not know their identity in Christ. They have

many rights and privileges they never access simply

because they do not know who they are.

There is a big difference between who we are in

Christ and who we are in ourselves. In and of

ourselves, we are nothing, we have nothing, and we

can do nothing of eternal value. In Christ, though, we

can be, do, and have everything God promises us in

His Word. We can leave a legacy for the world and

we can enjoy our journeys through life. The Bible

teaches us all kinds of wonderful truths about who

we are in Christ. We must know and believe these

truths above everything else—above who we think

we are, above what other people say about us, and

above what the world tells us we should be. God’s

Word is truth; what others think and say is merely

opinion. We must not allow someone’s opinion to

determine our value.

FINDING FREEDOM

We must know who we are in Christ if we are going

to enjoy today and have hope for tomorrow. When

we know who we are in Him, we can honestly

evaluate ourselves and not feel ashamed or put down

because we do not have everything everybody else

has or because we cannot do all the things other

people can do. It is very liberating to be able to take a

realistic inventory of what we cannot do and not feel

belittled by it. I may not be able to do everything

someone else can do, but I can probably do

something he or she can’t do. I think the best way to

evaluate ourselves is to know that what we do well is

a gift from God and that what we don’t do well is not

a problem. God gives us each a little part of a greater

whole, and we are supposed to work together, doing

our parts with diligence and excellence, not wishing

we could do what He has assigned someone else.

Finding the freedom to be ourselves is a major

victory that releases amazing joy. Knowing who we

are in Christ gives us the confidence to move past the

mistakes of the past and embrace the future with

expectancy.

Knowing who we are in Christ gives us the

confidence to move past the mistakes of the past

and embrace the future with expectancy.

Many years ago, I grew tired of feeling bad about

myself all the time, thinking something was missing

in me, wondering what was wrong with me, and

believing I was not everything I was “supposed” to

be. During that season of my life, I tried and tried to

“be” more by doing more. I tried especially hard to

do and be things I saw in other people. If you have

ever attempted to do this, you can guess what

happened: I ended up completely frustrated. I

continued in this cycle of striving and frustration

until I finally found out who I was in Christ.

Discovering my identity in Christ was so liberating to

me because, as I said, when we know who we are in

Christ, then what we cannot do in our natural selves

does not matter much anymore. When we find out

who we are in Him, we can be comfortable and

secure not being everything our friends think we

should be. When we understand our identity in

Christ, we become much less interested in what

others think and expect of us. When we walk in our

identity in Christ, we can evaluate ourselves with

brutal honesty and still feel great about who we are.

We do not feel put down in the least because of what

we cannot do; we are completely set free to be the

best we can be and to use the abilities we do have.

In Paul’s day, social classes and religious groups were

clearly defined. The Jews believed they were better

than the Gentiles; those who were free thought they

were better than the slaves; and men felt they were

better than women. Paul liberated everyone and set

the record straight when He wrote, “There is [now no

distinction] neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither

slave nor free, there is not male and female; for you

are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). These

words had to be quite shocking to those who felt they

were better than others, but quite liberating to those

who had always been made to feel inferior. In

essence, Paul was saying that nobody had any value

apart from who they were in Christ. We are valuable

because God loves us, and what we can or cannot do

does not add to or delete from that wonderful truth.

I am grieved when I hear people devalue themselves

with comments such as, “I am so stupid,” “I hate the

way I look,” or “I never do anything right.” These

remarks and others are so sad to me because they

represent an unbiblical way people think about

themselves—and I came to understand years ago

how dangerous that kind of thinking and speaking is.

It does not reflect the truth of God’s Word or align

with the way He thinks about us, and it will keep us

trapped in ways of living that are far less enjoyable,

less fruitful, and less powerful than He desires for us.

When we know who we are in Christ, our freedom

and confidence will soar. Being rooted in our identity

in Him will keep us from the fear of failure, from

excessively trying to please other people, and from

being caught in the cycle of trying to perform so

others will accept us. It will also enable us to stay

strong and steady when adversity comes. People who

do not know who they are in Christ can be

devastated by difficulties, failures, making mistakes,

or the opinions of other people, but a strong sense of

who we are in Christ sets us free from the effects of

these things.

Being rooted in our identity in Him will keep us

from the fear of failure, from excessively trying

to please other people, and from being caught in

the cycle of trying to perform so others will

accept us.

AGREE WITH GOD

We can never rise above the thoughts and beliefs we

have toward ourselves, so we must make sure we

believe what God says about us. We must stop merely

agreeing with other people, our circumstances, our

flesh, and the devil; and we must begin to agree with

God. He says we find our true worth and value in the

fact that He loves us and sent His Son to die for us.

We have been purchased for God by the blood of

Jesus. When God looks at us, He is not looking to see

what we do, where we live, who we know, how we

dress, or how many educational degrees we hold. He

is looking at our hearts, saying, “That man is worth

so much that I sent My Son to die for him”; “That

woman is so valuable because she belongs to Me and

I love her.”

Let me be very personal for a moment. I have come

to the point that I really know and believe my value

as a person is not in the fact that I lead Joyce Meyer

Ministries. It is my calling and my job to lead this

ministry and teach God’s Word. I do it for God. Yes,

it’s exciting; and yes, I am blessed in doing it. But if I

didn’t do it, would I be less valuable or worthless?

Certainly not! My worth and value in God’s eyes

would not change one bit.

The same is true for you. God does not measure your

worth by what you do. Now, the enemy will try to

make you believe you would be worthless if you

were to stop doing the things you do. But that is not

true, so do not allow yourself to become entrapped in

that lie. The truth is that God loves you; He cares for

you; He wanted a relationship with you so much that

He sent His Son to suffer and die just so you could

draw near to Him. You have incredible worth and

value to Him. You have to choose to believe that,

because the enemy and the world will work hard to

convince you otherwise.

Obviously, God has something for each of us to do

and we should be busy doing it and bearing good

fruit. But the point I want to make is that what we do

should not be compared to what someone else does,

nor should we seek or derive our worth and value

from what we do. One person may be a great singer

while another is a great ditch digger, but both are

equally valuable to God.

You may be asking, “If I am so valuable to God, why

do I feel so bad about myself?” You see, your worth

and identity are established in God’s heart and

recorded in His Word. Your position of value is

“legal,” spiritually speaking, because Jesus has given

it to you. However, you may not feel it experientially

because there is a process involved in understanding

and receiving what He has done. When I write about

“who you are in Christ,” I am referring to a work that

God has done in your spirit (the inmost part of your

being, the spiritual aspect of who you are). When you

received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He made you

righteous in the eyes of God (see 2 Corinthians 5:21).

That does not mean you do everything right, but it

does mean you can press toward better behavior

every day of your life and meanwhile God still sees

you as righteousness because of your faith in Him.

When you received Jesus as Lord and Savior, you

were made a new creature (see 2 Corinthians 5:17).

Everything about your old self passed away from

God’s perspective. Receiving Him made you new,

clean, and right with God. You received a new heart,

a new future, the fruit of the Holy Spirit; you were

filled with new possibilities and much more.

This means you have a legal right to feel good about

yourself. It’s simply not biblical to walk around

feeling rotten about yourself all the time and saying,

“Oh, I’m just a wretched person, a miserable sinner.”

You do sin and make mistakes; you still need mercy

every day, but you have a new identity in Jesus

Christ. You are a blood-bought child of God with

more worth and value than you could ever imagine.

God has done an awesome work inside you.

Experientially, you are moving toward the

manifestation of your “legal” position in Christ every

day, and for the rest of your life, the Holy Spirit will

be working with you to work out through you what

He has done in you. Your job is to cooperate with

Him by yielding to His guidance in your life and by

believing what God says about you in His Word.

You are a blood-bought child of God with more

worth and value than you could ever imagine.

BECOMING WHAT YOU BELIEVE

When you come to know who you are in Christ by

believing what the Bible says about you, then no

matter how you feel, and no matter what others say,

God’s promises concerning you will be released in

your life through faith. You may make mistakes, but

if you keep believing what God’s Word says about

you, then you will become who God says you can be;

you will do what He says you can do; and you can

have what He says you can have. On the other hand,

you are not likely to experience the blessings of God’s

promises if you do not believe them.

Let me ask you a few important questions:

• Are you believing God’s Word in every area of your

life right now? If not, you can change that by simply

making the decision to believe.

• Are you applying the truth of God’s Word to every

situation in which you find yourself? If not, why not

make a change today?

• What do you believe about yourself? Does it agree

with God’s Word? You can decide to believe

everything God says about you and to embrace His

plan for you. You don’t have to wait for a feeling; you

can make a decision.

• What do you believe about your future? Does it

reflect the truth of God’s Word?

• What do you believe about your past? Does it align

with God’s truth?

• What do you believe about the situations that seem

impossible in your life? Are your beliefs scriptural?

The answers to these questions will determine how

you see yourself. To really know who you are and

walk in the freedom and power of your identity in

Christ, your beliefs must align with the truth of His

Word.

There was a time in my life when I was convinced I

could never overcome the abuse in my past. As long

as I believed that, it was my reality; I could not move

beyond the abuse. No matter what God did for me, it

would not manifest in my life if I refused to believe

it. But once I began to believe, things began to

change. It did not happen quickly, but over a period

of time I started to realize God could heal every area

of my life. It has taken more than thirty years, but I

have overcome the consequences of abuse by

studying and believing God’s Word actively and

intentionally—day after day after day after day. It

has been a process, but every day has brought

gradual change, and over time, it has changed me

completely.

You may think thirty years is too long to wait, but I

really did not have any other options. No one does.

Only God can change a person from the inside out;

only He can heal the inner man and remove the

wounds and bruises from the past. Perhaps it won’t

take as long for you as it did for me, but however

long it does take, it is worth it! Please remember I

was seeing progress all along the way, and you will

also.

We must believe what God says and align our

thoughts with His thoughts. Agreeing with God by

accepting His thoughts and His Word as truth

enables us to say, “Well, I made a mistake today, but I

have faith” or “I did something I shouldn’t have, but I

have confidence in God’s Word and I know He will

forgive me if I repent,” or “My circumstances are

very difficult right now, but I have faith God will

come through for me because His Word says He will.

I trust Him.” We must believe and keep on believing.

This kind of confidence in God’s Word enables us to

overcome every obstacle in life because no matter

how difficult things are, faith opens a door for

improvement and change. The simple truth is you

cannot be defeated when God is on your side.

TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING

OF YOUR MIND

Romans 12:2 helps us understand why our beliefs are

so important: “Do not be conformed to this world

(this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its

external, superficial customs], but be transformed

(changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by

its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may

prove [for yourselves] what is the good and

acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing

which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His

sight for you.].” We learn from this verse we must

renew our minds, or develop new thoughts,

according to God’s truth so we can fulfill His plan for

our lives.

God has great plans for every person alive. Our

enemy, the devil, knows this and tries to keep us

from doing what God wants us to do by causing us to

believe lies. He may tell us God doesn’t love us

enough to use us, that we do not have the talents or

skills we need to fulfill God’s purposes, or we could

never do anything well enough to please God. These

are all lies! The reason we must know the truth as

God gives it to us in His Word is so we can overcome

the power of the enemy’s lies and walk in the good

plans God has for us. We have to know and believe

God’s Word so we can agree with God and not with

the devil.

The reason we must know the truth as God gives

it to us in His Word is so we can overcome the

power of the enemy’s lies and walk in the good

plans God has for us.

When we agree with God by believing His Word, we

become confident in who we are in Christ and His

love for us. We also position ourselves to reach the

full potential He has placed within us and to carry

out His plans and purposes for our lives. As we do

this, we will find ourselves doing what we were

made to do. When we are not able to do the things

we were created to do, we become frustrated,

restless, and unhappy. But when we can do those

things, we are energized, passionate, fulfilled, at

peace, and successful. We are able to enjoy both the

process and the results of what we do; we can enjoy

the present and anticipate the future with

confidence.

WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU

The Bible is full of truth concerning who you are and

what God thinks about you. I know people who like

to read through the New Testament and highlight

verses that include the words “in Christ” or “in Him.”

This is a good exercise—one worth an investment of

your time and energy and one that can transform the

way you see yourself. In the Appendix of this book, I

have provided an extensive list of these scriptures, in

the form of confessions to help you become

established in God’s truth about who you are. I urge

you to read, memorize, pray about, and confess these

power-filled words because, if you will believe them

and renew your mind according to them, they will

change your life.

CHAPTER 6

Move Forward In Faith

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be

our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong

and active faith.”

—FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

A young woman took her fiancé home to meet her

parents. After dinner, her mother asked her father to

find out about the young man. The father invited the

fiancé to his study for a talk.

“So, what are your plans?” the father asked the

young man.

“I am a biblical scholar,” he replied.

“A biblical scholar. Hmmmm,” the father said.

“Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice

house for my daughter to live in?”

“I will study,” the young man replied, “and God will

provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement

ring, such as she deserves?” asked the father.

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man

replied. “God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asked the father. “How will you

support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir. God will provide,” replied the

fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this, and each time

the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that

God would provide. Later, the mother asked, “How

did it go, honey?” The father answered, “He has no

job and no plans, and he thinks I’m God.”1

One thing is true about the young man in this story:

he certainly had faith! We all need to do our best,

work hard, and live wisely, but we must also have

faith in God, trusting Him to see us through

difficulties, show us how to live, provide for us, and

guide us in the affairs of our daily lives. We must mix

faith with everything we do because we cannot

please God without it (see Hebrews 11:6).

To enjoy today and embrace tomorrow, we must

approach life with faith. To embrace tomorrow

means to look forward to it with expectancy. Don’t

dread the unknown or things impending you might

not be looking forward to. Dread is a relative of fear,

and it is opposed to faith. The Bible says we are

supposed to live by faith, to approach everything in

faith (see Habakkuk 2:4). Faith is not simply a

dynamic necessary for us to receive salvation; it is a

way of life. We need faith to manage our finances,

raise our children, and build successful homes and

marriages. We also need faith concerning our jobs—

faith to work hard and operate with integrity and

faith to look at God as our source of provision rather

than at a company or an organization. We need faith

to cover the mistakes of our pasts and to boldly face

tomorrow. Someday, we will reach the end of our

earthly lives and we will even need to die by faith,

believing God is waiting to receive us into His eternal

presence in heaven.

Everything else may fail us, but God is

our Rock, our Refuge, our Hiding Place,

our High Tower, our Stronghold in times

of trouble, our Secret Place.

Yes, we need faith for today and faith for tomorrow.

Without this confidence in God, we may be doubtful

and hesitant about the present and fearful of the

future. God alone gives us strength to face each day,

so we need to turn to Him and place our faith in Him

alone. Everything else—people, material possessions,

education, relationships, corporations, paychecks—

may fail us, but God is our Rock, our Refuge, our

Hiding Place, our High Tower, our Stronghold in

times of trouble, our Secret Place. He is our hope, our

peace, our joy, our strength, and the source of

everything we need. He is the only One who never

fails and the only One worth putting our faith in.

ABSOLUTE TRUST

I love the Amplified Bible’s definition of faith in

Colossians 1:4: “For we have heard of your faith in

Christ Jesus [the leaning of your entire human

personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence

in His power, wisdom, and goodness] and of the love

which [have and show] for all the saints (God’s

consecrated ones)” (emphasis mine). It teaches us

that faith in God is “the leaning of your entire human

personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence

in His power, wisdom, and goodness.” (emphasis

mine). When you and I exercise our faith, we lean

everything about ourselves on Him and we place our

trust and confidence in three specific attributes of

His character: His power, His wisdom, and His

goodness.

God’s Power

When we approach God in faith, we must first

realize He has the power, the supernatural ability, to

meet our needs and solve our problems. He is able to

orchestrate circumstances and events, arrange

relationships, open doors of opportunity, rescue us

from trouble, send financial or material provision,

and work any kind of miracle we need. Jesus Himself

said, “All things are possible with God” (Matthew

19:26, emphasis mine). You and I are limited in our

human strength, but God can do anything. Believing

this is essential to having faith.

God’s Wisdom

Faith also involves placing absolute trust and

confidence in God’s wisdom. When we do not know

what to do or how to do it, God does. He is powerful

enough to do anything! But in His wisdom, He may

choose not to do everything He is able to do. He

knows what is best for us; and He always works in

our lives with our best interests in mind. He knows

exactly what to do for us and how to help us. When

He answers our prayers in ways we do not

understand, we need to lean on the fact He is a wise

God who sees the big picture of our lives and works

all things together for our good (see Romans 8:28).

God is always able to deliver us from difficulty, but

He may choose not to do so for our own good.

Sometimes we need the experience of going through

something, rather than being delivered from it. In

Isaiah 41 the people are told to fear not because God

is hardening them to difficulties (see v. 10). I think

that is an interesting statement and one we should

understand. By being exposed to challenges, we

learn to overcome them rather than be defeated by

them. There are some things in my life God chose not

to deliver me from that initially upset me but do not

bother me at all now. Why? Because through my

experience I discovered I was stronger in God than I

thought I was.

God’s Goodness

God is a good God, and we need to have faith in His

goodness. The Bible is full of scriptures telling us

how good He is and how much He loves us. He also

has good plans for our lives. In Jeremiah 29:11, God

promises, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I

have for you, . . . thoughts and plans for welfare and

peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final

outcome.” Along the same lines, Ephesians 2:10 says

God has planned good works for us “that we should

walk in them [living the good life which He

prearranged and made ready for us to live].”

When you put your faith in God, you are trusting

completely in His power, His wisdom, and His

goodness. You are not begging for favors from a

heavenly judge who wants to punish you; you are not

trying to connect with a distant deity watching the

universe from afar. When you have faith, you have

complete confidence in the ever-present God Who

has the power to accomplish anything on your

behalf, the wisdom to know exactly what you need,

and the goodness to work in your life in ways that

bring the greatest possible blessing.

When you put your faith in God, you are

trusting completely in His power,

His wisdom, and His goodness.

I like to say it this way: “God is powerful enough to

do what needs to be done in my life; He knows how

to do it, and He wants to do it because He is good!”

FROM FAITH TO FAITH

Romans 1:17 tells us, “For in the Gospel a

righteousness which God ascribes is revealed, both

springing from faith and leading to faith [disclosed

through the way of faith that arouses to more faith].

As it is written, The man who through faith is just

and upright shall live and shall live by faith.” This

verse reminds us that we need to learn how to live

from faith to faith. It means we approach everything

we face, every challenge we meet, every decision we

make, and everything we do with faith. Faith should

be the posture of our hearts and the attitude of our

minds toward every situation.

I certainly need faith in my everyday life and in my

ministry. When I travel to conferences, I go in faith

that I will arrive safely at my destination. When I

begin teaching, I do so in faith that God has given me

the right message for the audience. I have faith that I

am anointed to teach God’s Word, to help people, and

to speak the right words. When I walk off of the

platform, I have faith that God has used my ministry

to change lives. When I leave to go home, I have faith

that I will arrive safely. After many years of being

doubtful and fearful, I have definitely decided faith is

much better. Faith enables us to enjoy our lives and

to do amazing things. Living by faith is not a feeling

we have; it is a conscious decision we must make.

Just imagine what I would be like as a minister if I

did not have faith concerning my messages. I would

not be very effective if I started teaching, believing it

was God’s word for a group of people, and then lost

my confidence midway through the sermon because

someone yawned, grunted, left the room, or looked at

me the wrong way. The devil would know I lost my

confidence, and that would open the door for him to

ruin the entire meeting. The audience would also

realize I was not confident about what I was saying

and they could not receive help from the message.

Doing things in fear not only torments us but also

wastes our time. No good can come of it because God

does not work through fear; He works through our

faith.

Doing things in fear not only torments

us but also wastes our time.

Can you apply the principles of my story to your life?

Do you ever feel you are doing the right thing and

take a step of faith? Then, if you do not see the

response you deem appropriate, do you fall into

doubt and unbelief and spend the next several days

thinking, Oh, I did the wrong thing. I shouldn’t have

done that. I shouldn’t have said that? God does not

want us to live with this kind of confusion in our

lives, never knowing what to do and never being

confident about our words and actions. He wants us

to live by faith and to do everything we do with

confidence in Him.

Even if you come to a place where you know you

made a wrong decision about something, you can

still have faith that God will work it out for good.

Faith really is amazing. It opens the door for God to

get involved in everything we do; and with Him on

our team, we cannot lose.

We cannot truly live by faith if we waver from faith

to fear to doubt to unbelief and then back to faith

and again to fear and to more doubt and unbelief

and finally back to faith. We need to get rid of the

mixture! This unstable way of living causes

tremendous torment in people’s lives, so we need to

come to a point where we make up our minds, once

and for all, about what we believe and in whom we

believe. We have to decide who can solve our

problems and who cannot. Once we have firmly

made up our minds, we have to stand firm and hold

our convictions tightly. This is what the Bible refers

to as “fighting the good fight of faith.” Sure, it is

challenging to continue having faith when nothing

you see, feel, or think supports it. But this is when we

need to look deeper to see what is in our hearts.

When we do, we will find that God is always there

encouraging us to keep on believing.

SIMPLE FAITH

I like to define faith in a very basic, easy-to-

understand way: living with a positive attitude.

Living by faith is looking at everything in a positive

way, not trusting in the power of positive thinking,

but trusting in the power of God, who loves us and

wants the best for us. When we have faith, we can

say with confidence in our hearts:

Living by faith is looking at everything in a

positive way, not trusting in the power of positive

thinking, but trusting in the power of God, who

loves us and wants the best for us.

• “I don’t know what to do, but God does.”

• “I don’t understand what’s going on in my life, but

God will make a way for me.”

• “I don’t know how I can pay my bills this month,

but God will provide.”

• “This trial I have doesn’t feel good; I don’t like it; but

I believe God works all things out for good to those

who love Him and are called according to His

purpose” (see Romans 8:28).

• “I don’t like the situation I’m going through, but

what Satan means for my harm, God intends for my

good” (see Genesis 50:20).

These statements and the attitudes they represent

demonstrate faith. Faith always trusts in God’s love

and looks beyond where it is to the end result. Faith

is always hopeful and refuses to accept defeat. People

who live by faith can enjoy every day of their lives

and enthusiastically embrace tomorrow.

FAITH FOR EVERY DAY

Ephesians 2:8, 9 says, “For it is by free grace (God’s

unmerited favor) that you are saved (delivered from

judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation)

through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of

yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through

your own striving], but it is the gift of God; Not

because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law’s

demands], lest any man should boast.” No one alive

today saw Jesus die on the cross, but because we

have faith, we sincerely believe that event happened.

As Christians, we have deliberately decided to

believe in the power of an event we did not witness

or even hear about firsthand. When we read the

crucifixion stories in the Bible or hear people talk

about how Jesus has changed their lives, we can

choose to believe them or not; the decision is entirely

up to us. I believe faith comes when we hear the

gospel, but we still need to make a decision. When

we choose to believe Jesus died for us and rose from

the dead, that is the beginning of what can be a life of

faith. Our initial faith will lead to more faith as we

study God’s Word and learn how to walk with Him.

Each time we see how faith works in our lives, it

increases our faith to trust God in other situations.

As I mentioned earlier, God does not want us to limit

faith to our salvation experience. Colossians 2:6 says,

“As you have therefore received Christ, [even] Jesus

the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct

yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him.” So

if we receive Christ by faith, we are supposed to live

our entire lives by faith. We should not decide to

believe God for certain projects or situations and try

to handle everything else by ourselves. But

sometimes we approach our lives that way, thinking,

Oh, God, I’ve got a big problem today. I mean, this is

major. God, I really need help with this one.

God wants to help us with the things

that seem “big” to us and with the

things that seem less significant.

God wants to help us with the things that seem “big”

to us and with the things that seem less significant.

He wants to help us when we feel desperate and

when we don’t. I figured out years ago that

everything in life is over my head; it’s all too much

for me to handle alone. I used to run to God only

when I thought I was desperate, but then one day I

finally realized I was desperate all the time; I just

didn’t know it.

The same is true for you. You are desperate for God

all the time, whether you realize it or not. Jesus says

in John 15:5, “I am the Vine; you are the branches.

Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much

(abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off

from vital union with Me] you can do nothing”

(emphasis mine). To abide in Him, we must have

faith. We cannot see Him with our physical eyes or

reach out and touch Him with our hands, but we can

relate to Him in powerful, personal ways when we

have faith. As we abide in Him through faith, we can

do everything, but apart from Him, we can do

nothing that will have any real lasting value.

Our desperate need for God and His desire for us to

abide in Him does not mean we have to sit around

being “super spiritual” all the time. We do not need

to feel obligated to read our Bibles or confine

ourselves to a prayer closet for hours each day, but

when we really love God and He is first in our lives,

everything we do becomes spiritual in a way because

we are doing it with Him, in Him, through Him, by

Him, for Him, to His glory.

We should study our Bibles and pray because we

want to and feel that doing so is an awesome

privilege. We should not read and study only out of a

sense of duty or because we think we score points

with God. It should be part of our lives, but we don’t

need to feel as if we are being “spiritual” when we do

it and “unspiritual” when we do ordinary things. It

was very liberating for me to finally realize

everything takes on a spiritual nature if we do it

through, by, for, and with Jesus. Even picking out the

clothes I am going to wear each day becomes more

meaningful if I keep in mind I want to dress for His

glory.

Let me encourage you to let God into every area of

your life through faith. Jesus died so we could enjoy

our lives—everything about them. As we grow in

faith, we will increase in our abilities to relax and

enjoy every aspect of today and look forward to

tomorrow.

CHAPTER 7

Trust Through The Trials

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

Only through experience of trial and suffering can

the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and

success achieved.”

—HELEN KELLER

Wishing to encourage her young son’s progress on

the piano, a mother took the small boy to a

Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the

mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked

down the aisle to greet her.

Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the

concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually

explored his way through a door marked, “NO

ADMITTANCE.”

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was

about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and

discovered that her son was missing. Suddenly, the

curtains parted and spotlights focused on the

impressive Steinway on stage.

In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the

keyboard, innocently picking out “Twinkle, Twinkle

Little Star.”

At that moment, the great piano master made his

entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered

in the boy’s ear, “Don’t quit. Keep playing.”

Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with

his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon

his right arm reached around to the other side of the

child and he added a running obbligato.

Together, the old master and the young novice

transformed a frightening situation into a

wonderfully creative experience. The audience was

mesmerized.1

That’s the way it is with God. What we can

accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try

our best, but the results aren’t exactly graceful,

flowing music. But with the hand of the Master, our

life’s work truly can be beautiful.

Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen

carefully. You can hear the voice of the Master,

whispering in your ear, “Don’t quit. Keep playing.”

Feel His loving arms around you. Know that His

strong hands are playing the concerto of your life.

The young boy in this story learned a valuable lesson

about trust. He was headed for great embarrassment

—and probably punishment from his mother—

before the masterful pianist came to his rescue. At

some point in our lives, all of us find ourselves in

some type of trouble. It may or may not be a

situation we have brought upon ourselves; it may be

much more serious than the little boy’s adventure at

the concert, but we realize we need the Master’s

help.

We can make unwise or unhealthy choices when

faced with difficulty; we can try to take matters

into our own hands; or we can trust God.

Everyone faces tests and trials over the course of a

lifetime, and we can choose how we want to deal

with them. We can make unwise or unhealthy

choices when faced with difficulty; we can try to take

matters into our own hands; or we can trust God. I

highly recommend trusting Him. He is the only One

Who can truly help us, save us, guide us, give us what

we need, and encourage us with His presence when

we walk through adversity.

My great hope for you is that you will enjoy every

day of your life, but the fact is, you will have

challenges and trials. You may have some dark or

difficult days over the course of your life; these are

simply opportunities to trust God. I have seen God do

absolutely amazing things in people’s lives over the

years, and I have experienced His miracle-working

power in my own life, in my family, and in my

ministry. I have learned that the best way to position

ourselves for a miracle is to trust God through the

troubles and trials we encounter in our lives. He is a

faithful God; and He will always come through for us

when we trust Him.

TRUSTING GOD IN AND THROUGH

Often when we think of trusting God, we think of

trusting Him for things we need or want—financial

provision, physical healing, the restoration of a

relationship, a promotion at work, a place to live, an

opportunity we want, or a big win in some kind of

competition. A true relationship of trust in God

extends beyond trusting Him for something and

includes trusting Him in certain circumstances or

through a situation. We need to learn to not simply

look to Him for the results we desire; we need to

learn to trust Him through the process of attaining

them.

There was a time in my life when I focused intensely

on trusting God for things, saying, “I want this, God,”

“I want that, God,” and “I need such-and-such, God.”

In the midst of my requests, He began to show me

that getting all those things was not the most

important issue in my life at that time. Those things

would come later, but right then, He needed to teach

me how to trust Him while I was going through

situations, how to trust Him enough to walk through

situations with stability and with a good attitude on a

consistent basis. He wanted me to learn that He may

not always rescue us when we want out of

circumstances, but He is always with us as we walk

through them.

God does not always deliver us from everything

when we think He should. Throughout His Word, we

read about people who had to go through things. One

familiar passage to many people is Psalm 23:4: “Yes,

though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of

the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for

You are with me.” (emphasis mine). Psalm 66:12 says,

“You caused men to ride over our heads [when we

were prostrate]; we went through fire and through

water, but You brought us out into a broad, moist

place [to abundance and refreshment and the open

air]” (emphasis mine). The prophet Isaiah, speaking

for God, says, “When you pass through the waters, I

will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not

overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the

flame kindle upon you” (Isaiah 43:2, emphasis mine).

God does not always deliver us from

everything when we think He should.

Throughout His Word, we read about

people who had to go through things.

One of the most amazing stories of trusting God

through trouble is the account of three courageous

young men named Shadrach, Meshach, and

Abednego. The Old Testament king Nebuchadnezzar

threatened to throw them into a blazing furnace

where they were sure to be burned alive if they did

not worship his idols. They responded to him: “If our

God Whom we serve is able to deliver us from the

burning fiery furnace, He will deliver us out of your

hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O

king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the

golden image which you have set up!” (Daniel 3:17,

18). Let me make clear that the phrase “If our God

Whom we serve is able to deliver us” does not mean

God might not have the power to deliver them; He

certainly has the power. In this context, the words

mean “if it is in His plan, if it is best for all

concerned.”

Angry Nebuchadnezzar did throw the three men into

the fiery furnace—after ordering the furnace turned

up to seven times its usual heat. The flames from the

furnace were so hot, they incinerated the men who

bound the young men and threw them into it. When

Nebuchadnezzar looked into the furnace, expecting

the three men to be incinerated, he said in

astonishment, “Behold, I see four men loose, walking

in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt!” (v. 25

[many people believe the fourth man was the pre-

incarnate Jesus]). The king called Shadrach,

Meshach, and Abednego out of the furnace, and

when they emerged, not one hair on their heads had

been singed, their clothes were not scorched, and

they didn’t even smell of smoke.

This testimony of going through difficulty with

absolute trust in God has inspired people for

generations. Today, we can draw much

encouragement from the fact that Shadrach,

Meshach, and Abednego went into a terrifying

situation, one we can assume they wanted to be

delivered from, and Jesus was in the fiery furnace

with them. As we follow their example, we can go

through trials in our lives with stable, positive

attitudes, trusting God completely, even against

seemingly impossible odds. Then, other people can

gain strength and encouragement from our lives, just

as we do from the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and

Abednego.

Remember, your attitude in every

situation is yours to command.

Remember, your attitude in every situation is yours

to command. No one can force you to have a bad

attitude or a good one; it is entirely up to you.

Maintain an attitude of faith, praise, thanksgiving,

and positive expectation, and you will definitely

come out of your situation victoriously at just the

right time.

TRUSTING WHEN WE DON’T UNDERSTAND

One of the great mysteries and facts about our walk

with God is that we rarely understand everything He

is doing in our lives. If we always understood, we

would have no need to trust Him. As believers we

often find ourselves in places of not knowing, and we

catch ourselves questioning God: “What does my

future hold?” “Will I ever get married?” “What will

my children be when they grow up?” “Will I have the

provision I need in my old age?”

We have to learn to trust God when we do not

understand what is happening in our lives, and we

need to become comfortable with unanswered

questions. You and I may never have every answer

we want when we want it, so we need to relax and

get comfortable knowing and trusting God, the One

Who does know. Without trust, it is impossible to

enjoy today and be ready to face tomorrow with

expectancy.

Job, who had many reasons to question God as he

faced a staggering series of crises and losses, said,

“Though He slay me, yet will I wait for and trust

Him” (Job 13:15). Job did not understand what was

going on in his life, but he made the decision to trust

God anyway. I believe that was the only way he could

find peace in the midst of his terrible circumstances.

Similarly, you and I will never have peace in our

lives until we learn how to stop trying to figure

everything out and how to start trusting God more.

We cannot say with our mouths, “I trust God,”

and then allow our emotions to be upset

and our thoughts to run wild.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 says, “Lean on, trust in, and be

confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind

and do not rely on your own insight or

understanding. In all your ways know, recognize,

and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make

straight and plain your paths.” Notice we are to trust

in the Lord with all our hearts and minds. We cannot

say with our mouths, “I trust God,” and then allow

our emotions to be upset and our thoughts to run

wild. We have to be diligent to maintain a steady,

unwavering posture of faith and trust toward God in

our hearts and minds.

In my life, it helped me to finally get really honest

with myself about whether or not I was truly trusting

God. I had to face the truth that if I was worried, I

was not really trusting God. Being honest about my

level of faith actually helped me grow in faith and get

where I needed to be.

If you are the kind of person who has to have

everything figured out in order to settle down, let me

encourage you today to accept the fact that you are

not likely to receive all the answers you want in this

lifetime. Choose to stop demanding explanations and

to begin practicing trust. Instead of asking God why,

tell Him you trust Him. This is part of how you can

trust God in a practical way when you do not

understand what is happening. There have been

many times in my life when I wanted with all my

heart to know why something was or was not

happening, but I knew God wanted my trust, not my

questions.

When you can only see one step ahead of you, but

you would prefer to see the entire journey, take that

one step and trust God to show you the next one.

When you know God could supply a need for you

without much effort at all, but His response is

delayed, trust Him to answer you in His perfect

timing. In Isaiah 55:8, God says, “For My thoughts are

not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways.”

His thoughts and ways are higher, better, and wiser

than ours. He can see the end from the beginning,

and He knows answers we cannot yet comprehend.

We need to trust Him when we do not understand.

TRUSTING IN THE TESTS

God wants to do good for us. He wants to bless us, but

He also wants to be sure we are mature enough for

the blessings He wants to pour out. Sometimes, in

order to show us what is in our hearts—and what we

can or cannot handle, He tests us. That’s exactly what

He did with the Israelites in the wilderness before

they entered the Promised Land, as we read in

Deuteronomy 8.

God wants to do good for us. He wants to bless

us, but He also wants to be sure we are mature

enough for the blessings He wants to pour out.

“And you shall [earnestly] remember all the way

which the Lord your God led you these forty years in

the wilderness, to humble you and to prove you, to

know what was in your [mind and] heart, whether

you would keep His commandments or not” (v. 2).

Notice first that God led the Israelites through the

wilderness. They did not get lost and end up in the

wilderness. Rather, He led them through the

wilderness for the purpose of testing them to see if

they would keep His commandments and worship

Him in the midst of the difficulties of the wilderness.

Likewise, God will lead you through some tests and

through some experiences that will try your faith.

During these times, He will be watching to see what

is in your heart.

Verses 3, 4 describe the Israelites’ time of testing in

greater detail: “And He humbled you and allowed

you to hunger and fed you with manna, which you

did not know nor did your fathers know, that He

might make you recognize and personally know that

man does not live by bread only, but man lives by

every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the

Lord. Your clothing did not become old upon you nor

did your feet swell these forty years.” As God tested

His people, He humbled them, and He caused them

to trust Him for their daily provision. They never

knew from one day to the next whether manna

would fall from heaven the next morning, but God

required them to gather only as much manna as they

could eat each day. They had no choice but to trust

Him for their next meal. He disciplined them in this

way, and in other ways, as we read in verses 5, 6:

“Know also in your [minds and] hearts that, as a man

disciplines and instructs His son, so the Lord your

God disciplines and instructs you. So you shall keep

the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in

His ways and [reverently] fear Him.”

When God tests us, He does so because He wants to

bless us. In the Israelites’ case, He tested them and

disciplined them for the purpose of taking them into

the abundance and blessing of the Promised Land.

Verses 7–9 show us His heart for them: “For the Lord

your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of

brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing

forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley

and vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of

olive trees and honey; a land in which you shall eat

food without shortage and lack nothing in it; a land

whose stones are iron and out of whose hills you can

dig copper” (emphasis mine).

When God tests us, He does so

because He wants to bless us.

The passage goes on in its description of the good

land into which God was leading His people. We need

to remember He first led them on a long, hard

journey; He tested them and disciplined them in the

wilderness before they entered the land He

promised. He was testing them centuries ago, and He

still tests those He loves today. When you encounter

tests and difficulties, remember that blessings are

ahead, and move forward with absolute confidence

and trust in God. Concentrate more on passing your

tests than on how difficult they are. You are capable

of much more than you might think, and God will

always deliver you at the right time.

TRUSTING WHEN WE CANNOT SEE

Earlier in this chapter, I wrote about Shadrach,

Meshach, and Abednego. Those three young men had

no idea what would happen to them when they were

thrown into the fiery furnace, but they were willing

to put their lives on the line instead of disobeying

God. We need people today who will take a stand for

righteousness, for what is right according to God’s

Word. If this does not happen, our world will be in

serious trouble. But many times, people fail to stand

up for righteousness because they are afraid of what

will happen when they do. Will they lose their jobs?

Will they lose their friends? Will they be ridiculed in

the media? In situations such as these, when we do

not know what the outcome or result of a situation

will be, we need to trust God and press forward to do

what we believe is right. Even if we are persecuted

for the sake of righteousness, God’s Word says we are

blessed (see Matthew 5:10).

We need people today who will take a

stand for righteousness, for what i

s right according to God’s Word.

The world desperately needs men and women who

will lose jobs rather than compromise their integrity

to keep them. We need politicians who will lose votes

if necessary rather than sacrifice their integrity. God

can put us in better places than people could ever

put us if we put our trust in Him and if we are people

of integrity and excellence. We need people who will

put everything on the line and say, “Even if I lose

what I want, I will not compromise and do what I

know in my heart is wrong.” Sometimes we do not

even give God opportunities to work in our lives

because we are too busy trying to take care of

ourselves. We think, Well, I better do this because I

don’t want to lose my job. Well, I better do this

because I don’t want to lose my friends. We cannot

allow the fear of man to be greater than the fear of

God in our lives.

We need to fear the Lord above all else, and to trust

Him at all times, in every situation, every day of our

lives. Whether you are going through something,

walking through a situation you do not understand,

being tested, or wondering what will happen if you

refuse to compromise, put your trust in God. And

don’t forget that trust allows you to enter God’s rest;

only in that place can you truly enjoy your life.

CHAPTER 8

Get Some Rest

“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and

silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therein to

be content.”

—HELEN KELLER

Most of us understand the value of physical rest and

relaxation. We know we need to get enough sleep,

take breaks throughout the day, and allow ourselves

time to be refreshed and renewed if we want to be

healthy and enjoy our everyday lives. We also need

rest for our souls; our “insides” need rest as much as

our external bodies do.

PEACE AND REST

Several years ago, I heard an old friend was very ill.

Though I had not had many opportunities to speak

with her for about ten years, I called her to let her

know I was praying for her. She was fighting a fierce

battle against cancer, but she found time on the

phone to be lighthearted and even joke a little bit.

She also spoke of her complete trust in God, and I

could tell she was truly resting in faith. Toward the

end of the conversation, she said, “You know

something, Joyce? You sound really peaceful.” That

observation really blessed me because this woman

knew me ten years earlier, and she noticed how

much God had changed me.

Back then, I fought worry and anxiety constantly,

and I was often frustrated because I really was not

trusting God to solve my problems. “I” was working

on my problems and not resting in the Lord. I said I

trusted God, and then I worried all the time. But

when my friend said, “You sound really peaceful,” I

knew the reason was, for the most part, I have

learned to enter the rest of God. That does not mean I

never slip out of His rest, but when I do, I am so

miserable I will do anything to regain my peace.

Once we understand what peace is like, we can

hardly bear to be without it. When we’ve lived with

strife, turmoil, and anxiety and then finally found

peace and rest in God, we will be diligent to stay in

that place.

God’s peace and rest are available to every believer.

We do not have to live every day stressed out, upset,

worried, or exhausted. Hebrews 4:1 tells us, “The

promise of entering His rest still holds and is offered

[today],” and we can enjoy His rest every day of our

lives.

REST TAKES WORK

We read in Hebrews 4:10, 11: “For he who has once

entered [God’s] rest also has ceased from [the

weariness and pain] of human labors, just as God

rested from those labors peculiarly His own. Let us

therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive

diligently to enter the rest [of God, to know and

experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall or

perish by the same kind of unbelief and disobedience

[into which those in the wilderness fell].” These

verses call us to work with the Holy Spirit and make

an effort to learn how to live in rest. Be radical about

rest! Refuse to live your life worried, upset,

frustrated, aggravated, and joyless. Decide right now

to learn to dwell in peace and enjoy your life.

Be radical about rest! Refuse to live

your life worried, upset, frustrated,

aggravated, and joyless.

One way we learn to be at rest internally is by

identifying the things that upset us. The enemy loves

to lure us out of the rest of God, but he does not use

the same tactics on every person. I like to say, “The

devil sets us up to get us upset.” He often knows what

our weak points are and “pushes our buttons” over

and over until we want to explode. I encourage you

to find out what your “buttons” are; figure out what

upsets you and causes you to lose your peace so you

can learn to deal with those things and enter into

God’s rest.

I’m sure you can think of something that really

upsets you or causes you to lose your patience. It

could be computer problems, co-workers who talk

too much, making a trip to the grocery store only to

discover they do not have what you need, or a

teenage son who responds to every comment by

rolling his eyes back in his head, as if he were about

to pass out. Personally, I do not do well if I have to

hurry, especially if I have to hurry for a long time. I

can handle a little bit of a rush, but if I have a day

when I constantly have to hurry-hurry-hurry-hurry, I

start getting more and more emotionally upset and

soon want to throw up my hands and say, “Stop! I am

not going to live like this!”

Another example that comes to mind is the way Dave

responds to traffic. Now traffic does not bother me

much, but Dave can get really upset when people are

not driving correctly. If he waits and waits for a

specific parking place, and just about the time the

car in it moves out of the way, another car zips in

and takes it, that really bothers Dave. For some

reason, it does not upset me as much, but, as I

mentioned, other things do set me off. So we need to

know ourselves. We need to know what causes us to

lose our peace, and we need to be diligent to learn

how to overcome these situations so we can stay at

rest in God.

RESTING IN FAITH

Living by faith helps us rest in the Lord because

when we have faith, we believe God will somehow

work for good whatever is going on in our lives.

When we live by faith, we trust Him completely and

assume He is always working to benefit and bless us.

Maybe being stuck in a traffic jam spares us from

being killed in an accident. Maybe not getting the

parking place we wanted kept somebody from

pulling in next to us and denting our car. There are

all sorts of reasons things happen as they do, and

when we are trusting God with our lives, we choose

to believe He is always watching over us and working

for our good.

Living by faith helps us rest in the Lord because

when we have faith, we believe God will somehow

work for good whatever is going on in our lives.

Taking this thought one step further, we need to

realize we cannot enter God’s rest if we are not living

in faith. Hebrews 4:3 says, “For we who have

believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on

God) do enter that rest, in accordance with His

declaration that those [who did not believe] should

not enter when He said, As I swore in My wrath,

They shall not enter My rest; and this He said

although [His] works had been completed and

prepared [and waiting for all who would believe]

from the foundation of the world.” Note that this

verse says “we who have believed do enter” God’s

rest. Faith is the doorway through which we enter

the rest of God. When we want to know whether or

not we really have faith in a situation, we simply

need to do an internal check and see if we are at

peace. We cannot enter God’s rest if we do not have

confidence and trust in God, so when we are resting

in Him, chances are we are also living in faith.

WAIT A MINUTE

Psalm 62 teaches us about resting in God by learning

to wait on Him:

“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him

comes my salvation. He only is my Rock and my

Salvation, my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be

greatly moved. . . . My soul, wait only upon God and

silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation

are from Him. He only is my Rock and my Salvation;

He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be

moved. With God rests my salvation and my glory;

He is my Rock of unyielding strength and

impenetrable hardness, and my refuge is in God!

Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in

Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts

before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a

high tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!”

(vv. 1, 2, 5–8)

What does the opening statement of this passage

mean: “For God alone my soul waits”? The soul is

comprised of the mind, the will, and the emotions.

When we are trusting God and resting in Him, we do

not try to figure out what is going on or speculate

about how God might respond to us, but our minds

are still, our wills want what God wants for us, and

our emotions are calm as we wait confidently for

God’s answer. We do not try to make anything

happen in our own strength; we wait for God to

move on our behalf.

Life becomes much easier when we

sincerely believe God is in control and

really does know what He is doing.

As we wait on God, we learn to develop the attitude

Jesus demonstrated in the Garden of Gethsemane:

“Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me;

yet not My will, but [always] Yours be done” (Luke

22:42). That’s the place we need to come to in our

spiritual lives. We need to get to the point where we

can say, “God, I don’t like this; this hurts; this is not

what I had planned; this is not what I wanted; and

God, I’d like You to take this away, but if that’s not

Your plan, then give me the grace to endure it.” We

find great peace and enter into supernatural rest

when we are able to surrender. I finally had to admit

that God is simply smarter than I am. If you have not

come to that place in your life yet, this would be a

good time! Life becomes much easier when we

sincerely believe God is in control and really does

know what He is doing.

We get into trouble when our souls decide to stop

waiting on God. When our wills don’t want to wait

anymore and our minds are tired of being still, our

emotions find ways to express themselves. When

God asks us to be still and wait, but we insist upon

trying to make something happen, striving and

frustration are the results. On the other hand, when

we discipline our minds, wills, and emotions to rest

in God, He takes care of everything according to His

good plans and in His timing. If you need to, speak

aloud to yourself and say, “Stop worrying and trust

God!”

GIVE YOUR BRAIN A BREAK

On a practical level, how do we learn to rest in God? I

can tell you to wait on the Lord and rest in Him all

day long, but that does no good if you do not know

how to enter His rest. I believe the simplest, easiest

way to trust Him is to get your mind off of your

problems. You may think you could never do that,

but you can. You do it by choosing to think about

something else. Sometimes, one of the best things

you can do when you have a problem and seem to be

unable to get something off your mind is to simply go

do something. Call a friend; go to the grocery store;

take a walk; change the oil in your car; watch a good,

clean, funny movie; read a book; or bake something.

Just get busy! Invest your mental energy in

something other than your problem. You will find it

difficult to trust if you talk about your problems,

because the more you talk about them, the more

upset you will be. Turn your thoughts elsewhere;

give your brain a break; and you’ll find yourself

better able to rest in God.

Growing in the ability to trust God and to

walk in faith is a lifetime journey.

Growing in the ability to trust God and to walk in

faith is a lifetime journey; it does not happen quickly.

As we grow spiritually, we have to remind ourselves

over and over again: cast your care on God; be

anxious for nothing; trust Him in every situation. As

we are diligent to do these things, we find ourselves

resting in the Lord more and more, and that is where

we find peace, clarity, wisdom, and the strength to

face each day.

LEAVE THEM ALONE

Before we close this chapter, I want to call your

attention to an issue that causes many people to lose

their peace and be unable to rest in God, and that is

our desire to help, fix, rescue, or change other

people. One thing we cannot do with our faith is

control someone else’s right to free choice. As the old

saying goes, “You can lead a horse to the water, but

you can’t make him drink.” We simply cannot make

people love God, live right, or do what we think they

should do. Sometimes I wish I could just unzip

people and stuff them full of God’s Word so they

would stop making unwise choices and ruining their

lives. Most of us want to help people when we see

them hurting themselves, but we must remember

that one of God’s great gifts to humanity is the gift of

free will. Every person alive is free to make his or

her own choices.

When you pray for people, you open the door

for God to work in their lives, but they still

have to choose to cooperate with Him.

When you are believing God for something in

another person’s life, your will is not the only will

involved. That person’s will also affects the outcome

—even more than yours does. When you pray for

people, you open the door for God to work in their

lives, but they still have to choose to cooperate with

Him. Refuse to lose your joy over somebody else’s

bad choice. You have a life to live; and I encourage

you to live it by learning to trust, wait on God, and

rest in Him. And remember, you cannot help

someone who does not want to be helped or who

does not believe they have a problem.

CHAPTER 9

Choose Well

“What we call the secret of happiness is no more a

secret than our willingness to choose life.”

—LEO BUSCAGLIA

You and I have the God-given privilege of making

choices every day. Over the course of time, the

choices we make determine the quality, direction,

and results of our lives. If we want to enjoy life today

and embrace everything the future holds for us, we

must learn to make right choices. I recently ran

across the story of an elderly woman who

understood the power of choice. Its title is “Positive

Attitude,” but to me it illustrates not only the benefits

of a positive approach to every situation, but also the

importance of making good decisions.

She is 92 years old, petite, well poised, and proud.

She is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock,

with her hair fashionably coifed, and her makeup

perfectly applied, in spite of the fact she is legally

blind. Today she has moved to a nursing home. Her

husband of 70 years recently passed away, making

this move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of

the nursing home, where I am employed, she smiled

sweetly when told her room was ready. As she

maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a

visual description of her tiny room, including the

eyelet curtains that had been hung on her window. “I

love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-

year-old having just been presented with a new

puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room . . .

just wait,” I said. Then she spoke these words that I

will never forget: “That does not have anything to do

with it,” she gently replied. “Happiness is something

you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like the room

or not, does not depend on how the furniture is

arranged. It is how I arrange my mind. I have

already decided to love it. It is a decision I make

every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can

spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have

with the parts of my body that no longer work, or I

can get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that

do work. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes

open, I will focus on the new day and all of the happy

memories I have stored away . . . just for this time in

my life.”1

I strongly suspect the woman in this story spent a

long time making good choices in her life. Why?

Because in the midst of a difficult situation, the

training was there to choose well. When faced with

the enormous change that accompanies moving into

a nursing home after losing her husband of seventy

years, she had the ability to choose to be positive and

upbeat instead of negative and depressed. She

understood that her ability to enjoy her life in the

nursing home depended on making the choice to be

happy there. The freedom of choice with which God

has endowed us is truly one of the greatest gifts of

all. It assures us we can enjoy our lives if we really

want to.

All of us have to make choices on a regular basis.

They may be significant choices, such as what career

to pursue or whom to marry, or they may be

seemingly minor decisions such as what to wear to

work and what to eat for lunch. Any time we have a

choice, we have to make a decision. I realize that

sounds simple, but my point is that when we have a

choice to make, we can only commit to one of two

options, or maybe one of several. Sometimes we can

choose between good and bad; other times we have

to choose between a good option and a better option.

Whatever the case, we need the skills to make good

choices because our choices chart the courses of our

lives.

One of the most powerful scriptures in the Word of

God is Deuteronomy 30:19: “I call heaven and earth

to witness this day against you that I have set before

you life and death, the blessings and the curses;

therefore choose life, that you and your descendants

may live” (emphasis mine).

God wants to make it easy for us to

experience the life and blessings He

wants to give us, but we must choose

these things over things that bring death

and destruction.

I like this verse because in it God tells us what our

options are and then He tells us which to choose. He

says, basically, “These are your choices: life and

blessings or death and curses,” and then He clearly

instructs us to choose life. This is like taking a test in

school and having the teacher write the answers on

the blackboard! God wants to make it easy for us to

experience the life and blessings He wants to give us,

but we must choose these things over things that

bring death and destruction.

THE AGONY OF REGRET

Some people decide not to choose life. They make

decisions that lead to strife instead of peace, to

bondage instead of freedom, or to misery instead of

joy. I believe the primary result of wrong choices is

regret, which means: to feel sorry, disappointed, or

distressed about something; to feel sorrow or grief

over.

The world is full of people who live with regret. Most

of the time, you can identify these people because

they seem to have a sense of heaviness, sadness, or

grief about them for no apparent reason and for a

long period of time. These are people who are sorry

about everything. They are sorry about their lives,

sorry about what they have done and what they

haven’t done, sorry they didn’t finish their education,

sorry they are in debt, sorry they ate so much dinner,

sorry they didn’t save more money, sorry they

messed up their marriage or did not spend more

time with their children. Living in an attitude of

sorrow and regret simply robs these people of the joy

they could experience every day and of hope for a

better tomorrow. Wrong choices cause regret, and

when we experience regret, we need to deal with it

and let it teach us how to make better choices in the

future.

Wrong choices cause regret, and

when we experience regret, we need to

deal with it and let it teach us how to

make better choices in the future.

I understand firsthand that wrong choices lead to

regret. I looked at myself a while back and regretted

never having been serious about exercise in my life. I

saw a marked difference between Dave and me

because he has exercised all his life and is healthy,

strong, and in good physical shape. When Dave and I

return home from overseas travel, I struggle with jet

lag for several days, but he can take one nap and be

fine! That used to upset me, but I now realize he

recovers more quickly than I do because he’s

stronger than I am.

Initially, I merely regretted that I wasn’t as strong as

Dave, but then I realized I could do something about

it. It is never too late to make good choices and start

reaping good results. I now exercise regularly and

have been amazed by how quickly my body has

responded by losing fat, building muscle, and

producing more energy. So, if you find yourself

regretting some of the unwise choices you have

made in life, don’t be deceived into thinking it is too

late to do anything about it. You can get out of debt,

make relationships better, increase your energy, or

do anything else you want to do. All you need to do is

begin and stick with it!

ONE CHOICE AT A TIME

Are you enjoying the life and blessings of God in your

everyday life? Or have you made a series of choices

resulting in disappointment, pain, or feeling that

everything you do requires great effort and produces

little reward? If so, there is hope for you! Don’t spend

your time and energy mourning all the bad decisions

you have made; just start making good ones.

Don’t spend your time and energy mourning

all the bad decisions you have made; just

start making good ones.

The way to overcome the results of a series of bad

choices is through a series of right choices. The only

way to walk out of trouble is to do the opposite of

whatever you did to get into trouble—one choice at a

time. Maybe the circumstances of your life right now

are the direct result of a series of bad choices you

have made. You may be in debt because of a series of

bad choices with money. You may be lonely because

of a series of bad choices in relationships or in the

way you treat people. You may be sick because of a

series of unhealthy choices: eating junk food, not

getting enough rest, or abusing your body through

working too much and not having enough balance in

your life.

You cannot make a series of bad choices that result in

significant problems and then make one good choice

and expect all the results of all those bad choices to

go away. You did not get into deep trouble through

one bad choice; you got into trouble through a series

of bad choices. If you really want your life to change

for the better, you will need to make one good choice

after another, over a period of time, just as

consistently as you made the negative choices that

produced negative results.

No matter what kind of trouble or difficulty you find

yourself in, you can still have a blessed life. You may

have suffered some losses, perhaps some things you

will never get back. You cannot do anything about

what is behind you, but you can do a great deal

about what lies ahead of you. I believe if you are

really faithful to God, He will even give you better

things than you would have had previously. You are

never hopeless with God! With God, “plan B” can be

even better than “plan A” would have been. God is a

redeemer; He causes bad things to work for your

good; and He will always give you another chance. If

you have a situation that is too big for you to solve,

then you are material for a miracle. Invite God to get

involved, follow His directions, and you will see

amazing results.

DON’T PLAY THE BLAME GAME

Many times when we suffer the consequences of bad

choices, we want to blame them on someone else.

Instead of taking personal responsibility for our

decisions and their results, we say, “The devil made

me do it,” “I am in this condition because of the way

my parents raised me,” or “If my boss would pay me

more, I wouldn’t be in debt.” Sometimes people do

have reasons for making bad choices, but those

reasons should never become excuses. We need to

use the recognition of those reasons to help us

understand how we need to change and make good

choices, not to justify continued bad choices. I had a

lot of personality quirks because my father abused

me sexually, and God had to remind me that even

though the abuse was the reason I was the way I was,

I could not let it be an excuse for never changing.

The Holy Spirit has the job of transforming each of us

into the image of Jesus Christ, but we have to stop

blaming, stop making excuses, and start making right

choices.

Bad choices rarely affect only one person. If you

make negative or harmful choices in your life,

they will inevitably affect someone else.

Bad choices rarely affect only one person. If you

make negative or harmful choices in your life, they

will inevitably affect someone else—your spouse,

your children, your friends, your parents, and

perhaps your co-workers, fellow students, or

neighbors.

Sometimes, the impact of others’ choices is tragic or

devastating. In my case, someone’s decision to abuse

me sexually affected my life in radical ways. As a

result, I made bad choices too—not the same bad

choices, but other choices detrimental to me and to

my relationships. Over time, my bad choices began to

affect my children. But now, thank God, I have

learned to make good, wise choices. For years, Dave

and I have watched how making right choices has

had positive effects on our children. The same can be

true for you. No matter how many bad choices you

have made in the past, if you will start making good

choices and keep at it, you will begin to see positive

results in your life and the lives of the people around

you.

God gives us the ability to make our own choices. No

matter what Jesus has done for us, and no matter

what the Holy Spirit is trying to do for us now in our

everyday lives, we still have the awesome privilege

and responsibility of free choice, and we need to

exercise it in ways that lead to life and blessing. We

must choose to agree with God; we must choose to

cooperate with His plan. We have to stop blaming

circumstances and people for the problems in our

lives and start taking responsibility for our choices.

If you have a bad attitude, take responsibility for

it in your own heart and before God.

If you have a bad attitude, take responsibility for it in

your own heart and before God. Say, “This attitude is

wrong. It’s nobody’s fault but mine, God, and I want

to change!” If you are in trouble financially, then

take responsibility for it! Say, “Well, God, there must

be something wrong. I’m either spending too much

money, handling my money wrong, or spending my

money on things I should not spend it on. I’ve gone

into debt and have not been willing to pay the price

necessary to get out of debt. Maybe I have the wrong

job and you’re telling me to step out and do

something else and I’m not doing it. I don’t know—I

don’t know what’s wrong, God, but something’s

wrong and I’m not just going to blame the devil or

inflation or high prices. I will take some

responsibility, and I need you to show me what I

need to do to get out of this mess.” God will come

through for you.

WE REAP WHAT WE SOW

My primary goal in this chapter is to help you see

where bad choices have led to regret or trouble in

your life and to encourage you to start making good

choices so you can live a life in which you enjoy

God’s blessings every day.

Galatians 6:7, 8 teaches us a principle we need to

understand: “For whatever a man sows, that and that

only is what he will reap. For he who sows to his own

flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh

reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who

sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal

life” (emphasis mine).

Be careful what you sow as you make

choices every day, because whatever

you sow, you also will reap.

This principle of sowing and reaping is foundational

to our lives. We all understand that it is true in the

natural world. If a farmer plants corn, he will not

reap potatoes at harvest time. If he plants soybeans,

he will not reap cotton. The farmer will have in full,

mature form whatever he planted in seed form. The

same is true for your thoughts, words, actions, and

choices. If you think about situations that make you

angry, you will express anger in your life. If you

think and speak positive, faith-filled words, you will

have positive results. If you act kindly and

generously toward someone, he or she will probably

be kind and generous toward you. If you make

choices that align with God’s Word, you will reap the

benefits He promises you. Be careful what you sow

as you make choices every day, because whatever

you sow, you also will reap. You may not reap

immediately, but someday you will have a harvest.

Romans 8:5, 6 affirms this truth, presenting it in a

slightly different way:

“For those who are according to the flesh and are

controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on

and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but

those who are according to the Spirit and are

controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds

on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy]

Spirit. Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and

reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that

comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here

and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is

life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].”

In these verses, Paul is writing about the power of

choice and reaping what we sow. If we choose to

focus our thoughts and actions on the flesh (our

worldly feelings and desires), we will be miserable.

But if we focus on the Spirit of God and follow Him,

we will experience peace and joy.

Unless your life is extremely unusual, peace and joy

may seem very hard to find at times. Daily existence

is full of challenges, problems, and opportunities to

overcome obstacles. Flat tires, dirty diapers, bills, a

broken windshield, and other such things will always

be part of life, so you might as well accept the fact

that problems will never go away completely. But in

the midst of big challenges and not-so-big ones, you

have the ability and power, through the Holy Spirit,

to choose to respond well. People who live happy,

enjoyable lives are not without struggles; they simply

make good choices.

I encourage you to do the same. Choose life today!

CHAPTER 10

Grieve Your Losses

“Grief is itself a medicine.”

—WILLIAM COWPER

In 2005, there were approximately 2.4 million deaths

in the United States. That means at least that many

suffered the loss of someone they loved. In addition,

countless others experienced various forms of

significant loss. For instance, a husband leaves his

wife of thirty years. A hurricane or natural disaster

strikes and wipes out an entire community.

Someone’s house burns down. A person goes to the

doctor feeling fine, but discovers after having tests

that he or she has stage-four cancer. A disgruntled

employee spreads terrible lies about a former boss

and ruins his reputation. These circumstances

happen every day, and people have to confront them.

No amount of faith can ever prevent us from feeling

the pain of loss, but it can help us recover and go on

with our lives.

Perhaps something devastating has happened to you

—maybe recently, maybe many years ago. In the face

of your losses, I want to offer hope to you today.

Whatever your situation, God wants to heal you,

strengthen you, and lead you to a place where you

can enjoy life again. You certainly need to grieve, but

you can do so in healthy, appropriate ways that will

keep you from getting stuck in your sadness or pain,

and enable you to heal and move forward in God’s

plans and purposes for your life.

GO AHEAD AND CRY

When you have had a loss in your life, you need to go

through the grieving process. In fact, the only way to

cope with loss in a healthy way is to grieve

appropriately. Grief is defined as deep, mental

anguish over a loss, or as deep sorrow. It means to be

sorrowful, to mourn, or to be distressed. The grieving

process is necessary when loss occurs; it is healthy

mentally, spiritually, and even physically.

The only way to cope with loss in a

healthy way is to grieve appropriately.

Grieving is necessary and healthy because you must

deal with your problems and pain or they will deal

with you. Sooner or later, they will catch up with you

if you do not confront them honestly and work

through them, so determine today that you will

grieve the losses in your life. Going through the

grieving process is difficult and painful at times, but

God will give you the ability to do it and He will be

with you through it. Denial is not the answer to

difficulty.

Remember, God gave you tear ducts for a reason. He

knows you sometimes simply need to cry. Weeping is

not a sign of weakness; it’s part of the process of

healing from painful events and situations. Let me

repeat: the grieving process is important, and it is

normal. If you are a Christian who has suffered a loss

and are having a hard time, if you have some days

when you cry easily or for periods of time each day,

do not think you are weak or that you don’t have any

faith. Such expressions of emotion simply mean you

are in a stage of grief in which you need to cry, and

that is okay. God treasures our tears and keeps them

in a bottle; and when you need to cry, He wants you

to do so.

THE GRIEVING PROCESS

Grief, like many other things in life, is a process; it

has a beginning and an end. Sometimes people do

not want to go all the way through this process

because they feel guilty about moving beyond the

intense pain of their loss. People who have lost a

loved one may feel guilty when they even think

about not being constantly sad over the person’s

death anymore. Some have told me they feel guilty

when they feel happy. That is merely Satan’s way of

keeping them trapped in a past they cannot do

anything about. When you are grieving, you will

have a period of great sadness and a time when you

need to cry, but you cannot let yourself stay in that

place. You need to go all the way through the

grieving process because if you allow prolonged or

excessive grief to take over your life, it will become

destructive. So, as soon as possible after loss takes

place, I encourage you to make a decision and tell

yourself, I’m not going to let this defeat me or

overwhelm me. I am going to press on, even if

everything’s been destroyed. Even if I have to start

all over, with God all things are possible. You have

God’s permission to enjoy your life again!

When you are grieving, you will have a period of

great sadness and a time when you need to cry,

but you cannot let yourself stay in that place.

God is a healer of hearts; He wants our hearts to be

healed, restored, and strengthened after we have

endured the pain of loss. In this section, I want to

help you understand the grieving process so you will

know what to expect and what is healthy and normal

as you mourn the losses you have encountered, or

will encounter, and begin to work your way through

them. You see, we all experience losses of some kind

at times, and in order to enjoy life and not fear

tomorrow we must know we can recover from them.

SHOCK

When you experience a great loss in your life, your

first response is likely to be shock. Even if you have

been expecting the loss, you will probably still be

shocked when it actually happens. Shock is good and

healthy because it functions in your life as shock

absorbers do on your car. When you hit a pothole

while driving, shock absorbers keep you from being

jolted or thrown against the ceiling of the car upon

impact; they cushion the blow. A period of shock

after significant loss will do the same for your

emotions.

Expect a period of numbness when you are grieving.

Do not feel guilty about not feeling more, but realize

that time of shock and numbness is helpful because

if you could feel everything all at once, it would be

overwhelming; your emotions couldn’t handle it.

Little by little, God will release those feelings and

help you begin to work through them. The shock is

temporary. It’s like an anesthetic. It will not last

forever, but it is part of the process of healing.

Sometimes when you are shocked and numb after a

trauma or a loss, you will hurt too much to even

pray. You may not be able to do anything more than

look out the window and say, “Oh, God, oh, God, oh . .

. ” That’s understandable and perfectly acceptable.

It’s part of being in shock, which is an important

phase of the grieving process.

FEELING

As time passes, the shock will begin to wear off and

you will begin to feel the pain of your loss. A friend

who lost his son told me the hardest time for him

was after the funeral service because that was when

people stopped calling, stopped sending flowers,

stopped dropping by to visit. He and his wife were

simply left with their pain.

Feeling the pain is vital to mourning

a loss. Trying not to feel the pain is not

normal; it’s unhealthy.

Being “left with your pain” is part of the grieving

process. It is difficult but necessary. When you reach

the point of feeling the pain, you are moving forward

in the grieving process. Feeling the pain is vital to

mourning a loss. Trying not to feel the pain is not

normal; it’s unhealthy. In fact, I believe facing and

feeling the pain that accompanies loss is necessary to

move beyond the loss into the next season God has

for you.

ANGER

Anger is another aspect of the grieving process, and

it often comes after the shock has subsided and while

you are feeling the pain of your loss. If you have lost

someone you love, you may be angry at that person

for abandoning you; you may be angry at yourself

for things you did or did not say or do; or you may be

angry at friends or family members for various

reasons.

Sometimes people are angry with themselves or

blame themselves for a loss. They say, “Well, I wish I

had . . . Why didn’t I . . . ? I could have . . . I should

have . . . I shouldn’t have . . . ” Comments such as

these do not help. All of us who have ever

experienced loss can look back and wish we had

done or said things differently. Under these

circumstances, we must believe we did the very best

we could in the situation, and we must give ourselves

the grace to accept that.

You may also be angry with God, and this is fairly

common in the wake of a devastating loss. Anger

with God is the primary response the enemy wants to

see from you when tragedy comes your way. He

wants you to be furious with God, to believe God

doesn’t love you anymore, and to stop praying and

talking to God. He also wants you to get into a place

where you cannot receive the comfort of the Holy

Spirit, because if that happens, he knows you will

never complete the grieving process and move

beyond your sadness.

Often, a person who is grieving and angry with God

will say something like, “Well, I don’t understand. If

God is loving, how could He let this happen?” The

first thing an angry person wants to do is place

blame. That is normal; it’s natural. But sooner or

later you have to come to the point where you say,

“You know what? If I’m mad at God, I hurt nobody

but myself because He’s the only One who can help

me.” You may not understand some of the things that

happen in your life, but that does not make God

unloving. If you are angry with God, I urge you to

find peace with Him and stop trying to figure Him

out. If we ever understood Him completely, He could

no longer be our God. God knows things we do not

know. His wisdom is infinite, beyond anything we

could imagine.

You may not understand some of the

things that happen in your life, but that

does not make God unloving.

I cannot explain why things happen as they do. I

simply know we must trust God in the face of

unanswered questions. We live in a world under the

influence of sin, and bad things do happen to good

people. God never guarantees us trouble-free lives,

but He does promise to strengthen us. He enables us

to move on with life and enjoy what remains of it

rather than wasting it living in a past we cannot

change. The fact is, we simply do not have the

answers to many things, and when we reach the

point where we can accept that, we can stop being

angry and start really living again rather than

merely existing from day to day.

KEEP MOVING

I want to emphasize again that the grieving process is

healthy, but I also want to be clear that it must come

to an end. Problems arise when it does not reach a

conclusion. There is a time for grieving, mourning,

sadness, and weeping. When you have sustained a

great loss in your life, you have to do your hurting. If

you do not give yourself time to be healed, you will

suffer more than necessary. So go ahead and go

through the process, but remember there will come a

time when God will say, “Now it’s time to move on.”

Deuteronomy 34:8 teaches us a valuable lesson about

grieving losses: “And the Israelites wept for Moses in

the plains of Moab thirty days; then the days of

weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.” As

we read this verse, we must remember that Moses

was an extremely important person in the lives of

the Israelites. When he died, they mourned deeply

and cried over the loss of this significant leader.

Notice they wept for him “in the plains of Moab

thirty days; then the days of weeping and mourning

for Moses were ended.”

By calling your attention to this passage, I am not

suggesting in any way that a person who loses a

loved one should stop grieving after only thirty days.

I do want you to see, though, that the Old Testament

law only permitted the Israelites thirty days to

mourn, and then they had to go on. They had to get

moving.

Sometimes the best thing you can do

when you are hurting is to do something.

Get going and keep moving.

The principle behind this verse is important to

everyone who suffers loss: Sometimes the best thing

you can do when you are hurting is to do something.

Get going and keep moving. If you cannot do

anything else, just keep moving. Go take a walk. Get

outside in the sunshine, and tell God how you feel.

Go do something for somebody else. Often, the best

way to cooperate with God’s healing work in your

soul is to go find other hurting people and sow into

their lives and be a blessing to them. As you work

through your grief, you may have times when you

simply need to get your mind off what you’re going

through because you have done everything you can

do about it; there is nothing else you can do, and now

you need to wait for the full healing to come.

Whatever you do, don’t just sit and think about your

loss over and over. You can think yourself right into

depression and despair. If you have suffered a loss,

perhaps it’s time to get up and get moving in a

positive direction again.

If you have been through a tragic loss recently, you

may not be ready to even think about moving on yet,

and that is all right. But the time will come when you

will know deep in your heart you must let go of the

past and get busy with the future. When that time

comes, you will have to make a decision only you can

make. When the time does arrive, embrace it and

trust the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort you as you

move forward.

My uncle’s death many years ago was very difficult

for my aunt because they enjoyed an amazingly close

relationship. It took her a long time to be willing to

develop a new lifestyle. She was accustomed to doing

everything with him and suddenly he was no longer

available. She lived in the home they shared for quite

a few years and then reluctantly moved to an

assisted-living complex at my suggestion. I wanted

her to be in a place with other people and available

activities so she would not be lonely.

Even after she moved, she continued to stay by

herself most of the time—until about two years ago.

Then she decided to get involved in some of the

activities available where she lives. Now she is so

busy enjoying this new phase of her life I can rarely

find her at home. Not only has she gotten involved in

activities but she has also become the resident

distributor for all my books and CDs. She loves

blessing the senior citizens with resources that will

help them, and doing so has helped her look forward

to each day. She stopped thinking about what she lost

and decided to do something fruitful with what she

had left. There was plenty of life and joy available to

her, but she had to make a decision to take advantage

of it.

THE COMFORTER

I believe there are two main things that can heal a

broken heart in the aftermath of a loss: time and the

comfort of the Holy Spirit. Second Corinthians 1:3

says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord

Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy)

and the God [Who is the Source] of every comfort

(consolation and encouragement).” When we have

sustained a significant loss of any kind, we must

remember: God is the source of every comfort. Other

people cannot provide true comfort, so we need to

stop getting upset with our friends because they

cannot make us feel better. If we look to them for the

help only God can give, God may not allow them to

provide it. He alone is the source of all comfort. He

may choose to comfort us through people, but that

will be because we went to Him first, and He decided

to work through them and use them to bless us.

When He does, we need to remember to give Him the

glory and not to give them the credit—because He is

the One working through them to help us.

I believe there are two main things that can heal

a broken heart in the aftermath of a loss: time

and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

Referring to the Holy Spirit, 2 Corinthians continues:

“Who comforts (consoles and encourages) in every

trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also

be able to comfort (console and encourage) those

who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the

comfort (consolation and encouragement) with

which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and

encouraged) by God” (v. 4). I can offer you help

concerning grief in this book because God has helped

me. Had I not experienced His comfort I would not

be able to comfort you. How can I write to you today

and tell you God has a great future for you and you

do not have to be stuck in the messes from the past?

Because He has done that for me. Because of what

the Holy Spirit has done in my life, I can comfort you

with the comfort with which I myself have been

comforted. The same Holy Spirit who has comforted

me will comfort you.

A PRAYER FOR YOU

I want to close this chapter with a prayer you can

pray if you have suffered a loss. Whatever has

happened to you, God cares. He wants to comfort

you, help you through the grieving process, and give

you the strength to go on.

Father God,

I come to You today in Jesus’ name. I give You

everything that has hurt me. I give You every loss

and the pain I have felt over each one. I give You

injustice, every unfair situation, everything I

don’t understand. I give You the people who have

hurt me. I give You my past. I give it all to You,

and I let it go right now.

I ask for the comfort of the Holy Spirit to come

into my life. Comfort me, oh God, the way only

You can. Forgive me for running to people and

getting angry at them because they could not

make me feel better. You are the only One who

can make me better.

I thank You, Lord, for healing. I ask that the

grieving process take its proper course in me and

You would show me when it is time to go on and

how to do so. I pray for my joy to return and for

my life to return. I commit to You to get up and go

on. In Jesus’ name, amen.

CHAPTER 11

Put Possessions In Perspective

“Money often costs too much.”

—RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Without a healthy attitude toward money and

possessions, everyday life can be miserable. People

who think too highly of finances and material goods

often live in pursuit of luxuries that leave them

unsatisfied. They find themselves with full bank

accounts and empty hearts, or end up spending more

than they make and struggling under the weight of

debt. This story, entitled “And This Too Shall Pass,”

powerfully illustrates the need to have our money

and possessions in perspective.

One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah ben

Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him,

“Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to

bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives

you six months to find it.”

“If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty,”

replied Benaiah, “I will find it and bring it to you, but

what makes the ring so special?”

“It has magic powers,” answered the king. “If a

happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad

man looks at it, he becomes happy.” Solomon knew

that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished

to give his minister a little taste of humility.

Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah

had no idea where he could find the ring. On the

night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one

of the poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a

merchant who had begun to set out the day’s wares

on a shabby carpet. “Have you by any chance heard

of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget

his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his

sorrows?” asked Benaiah.

He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring

from his carpet and engrave something on it. When

Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke

out in a wide smile.

That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of

Sukkot with great festivity. “Well, my friend,” said

Solomon, “have you found what I sent you after?” All

the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled.

To everyone’s surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold

ring and declared, “Here it is, your majesty!” As soon

as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished

from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew

letters on the gold band: “gimel, zayin, yud,” which

began the words “Gam zeh ya’avor”—“This too shall

pass.”

At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom

and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were

but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing

but dust.1

YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU

In many cultures around the world today, we place

heavy emphasis on money, designer clothes and

accessories, high-end electronics, luxury cars, and

other material goods. Many aspects of everyday life

have fallen prey to commercialization, and societies

assign great value to worldly success and provisions,

and everywhere we look the message is to earn

more, buy more, and have more.

But I am not sure “more” is all it’s cracked up to be; I

do not believe more money or more possessions are

a solution to people’s problems. Everywhere I go, I

notice men and women, even boys and girls, are so

busy trying to acquire more—more money, more

“stuff,” more anything. People rarely have time for

each other anymore—and that does not seem to

bother them as much as it bothered people years ago.

Life has become so complicated and so driven, often

by the pursuit of money and possessions—a pursuit

that will leave us empty and unfulfilled if we are not

careful.

First Timothy 6:7 says, “For we brought nothing into

the world, and obviously we cannot take anything

out of the world.” As we develop a healthy

perspective on possessions and finances, we must

understand we will not be able to carry anything

with us when we pass away. The money and things

we have on earth are for us to enjoy and use to bless

others. They are not to make us feel superior to

someone else, to hoard and protect, or to show off.

We are not to love, treasure, or serve things; we are

to love and serve God. We are not to seek things

above all; we are to seek God’s kingdom first and

foremost—and things will be added to us (see

Matthew 6:33).

The money and things we have on earth are for

us to enjoy and use to bless others.

I have no problem whatsoever with people who have

nice things. I have some nice things and I enjoy them,

but I am determined not to love them. In this day and

age, if any of us are going to resist the temptation to

love material possessions, we must resist it on

purpose because we are surrounded by greed. I often

overhear people making comments such as, “Well, I

just can’t be happy if I don’t have a bigger house” or

“I just have to have those new designer jeans.” I have

even heard people say, “Oh, that (house, car, outfit) is

to die for.” These statements represent the values of

our culture, but they do not reflect the values of

God’s kingdom.

CONTENT AND SATISFIED

God’s Word has much to say to us about money and

physical provisions. In 1 Timothy 6:8, Paul writes,

“But if we have food and clothing, with these we

shall be content (satisfied). Our modern minds can

hardly comprehend this statement. We ask, “How in

the world could anybody be satisfied with only food

and clothing?” I believe Paul’s point here is more

than literal food and clothes. He is referring to the

basic needs of life. If our basic needs are met, we

need to be happy!

We are to be content with the things

we really need, without feeling driven

to keep acquiring more.

We are to be content with the things we really need,

without feeling driven to keep acquiring more. If we

focus on being thankful to God for meeting our needs

and if we keep our minds on Him, we will be blessed.

Many times, we will end up with more and better

things than we can provide for ourselves if we will

simply love Him, love people and try to help them,

stay humble before God, worship Him, and trust

Him. When He knows our hearts truly belong to Him,

He knows He can count on us to be good stewards of

the things He gives us and not to love them

excessively or allow ourselves to have an unbalanced

attitude toward them.

RUN!

The passage in 1 Timothy continues: “But those who

crave to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and

into many foolish (useless, godless) and hurtful

desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction

and miserable perishing. For the love of money is a

root of all evils; it is through this craving that some

have been led astray and have wandered from the

faith and pierced themselves through with many

acute [mental] pangs. But as for you, O man of God,

flee from all these things” (vv. 9–11, emphasis mine).

Here, Paul encourages Timothy as a man of God to

run from the mentality that craves to be rich and

loves money. Really, he is speaking to all of us

concerning financial greed and saying, “Do not let

that get a hold on you.” Once again, I want to assure

you that God delights in your prosperity and

Deuteronomy 8:18 states that God gives us the power

to get wealth, but greed is dangerous and steals the

life of its possessor (see Proverbs 1:19).

God does not mind our having things

as long as things do not “have” us.

We need to pay attention to what is going on in our

minds and with our desires. When we begin to be

unhappy because we do not have “one of these” and

“one of those” and “another one of that,” we are

headed toward an unbalanced approach to money

and possessions. God does not mind our having

things as long as things do not “have” us. He is not

opposed to our having money; it is the love of money

that gets us into trouble, and is, in fact, “a root of all

evils.”

GREEDY GEHAZI

I want you to know the story of a man named Gehazi,

an Old Testament character who loved money to the

point it literally kept him from reaching his destiny.

Gehazi was a servant of the prophet Elisha, and one

day a military official named Naaman, who had

leprosy, went to Elisha for healing. After he was

healed, he tried and tried to give Elisha a gift, but

Elisha refused to receive anything from him.

In 2 Kings 5, we read about the decision that changed

Gehazi’s life:

“But Gehazi, the servant of Elisha the man of God,

said, Behold, my master spared this Naaman the

Syrian, in not receiving from his hands what he

brought. But as the Lord lives, I will run after him

and get something from him. So Gehazi followed

after Naaman. When Naaman saw one running after

him, he lighted down from the chariot to meet him

and said, Is all well? And he said, All is well. My

master has sent me to say, There have just come to

me from the hill country of Ephraim two young men

of the sons of the prophets. I pray you, give them a

talent of silver and two changes of garments” (vv. 20–

22).

Naaman gave Gehazi the money and the clothes, and

even sent two of his servants to take them to Gehazi’s

house. When Elisha later asked Gehazi, “Where have

you been?” Gehazi told another lie and responded,

“Nowhere” (see v. 25). But Elisha knew better and

said, “Did not my spirit go with you when the man

turned from his chariot to meet you? Was it a time to

accept money, garments, olive orchards, vineyards,

sheep, oxen, menservants, and maidservants?” (v.

26). As a result of Gehazi’s behavior, Elisha said:

“Therefore the leprosy of Naaman shall cleave to you

and to your offspring forever. And Gehazi went from

his presence a leper as white as snow” (v. 27).

I wonder how many times in his life Gehazi sat

around with leprosy, looked at other people who

were successful, and thought about the man he could

have been.

I wonder how many times in his life

Gehazi sat around with leprosy, looked

at other people who were successful, and

thought about the man he could have been.

Gehazi allowed the love of money to change his

destiny. How many people today lose their families

because of the love of money? How many men work

so much their children don’t want to be around them

anymore or their wives are so lonely they get

involved with other men? How many women fail to

develop deep, healthy relationships with friends or

meaningful relationships with their husbands, but

have the respect and admiration of an office full of

co-workers they really don’t know? This happens

more than we like to admit—and it’s all because they

want money and things! That’s the love of money,

and it leads to all kinds of trouble.

Sometimes, people have to work extra hard, get a

second job, or put in overtime for a season in order

to pay off debt, afford a major purchase, or meet

unusual needs. Working hard for those reasons for a

period of time is admirable. But working frantically

for the sole purpose of keeping up with or outdoing

other people is ungodly. They need to understand

that another boat, another car, or a larger house will

not make them happy. Happiness and the ability to

enjoy life come from good relationships with God,

family, and friends. Happiness also comes from the

peace of knowing you are not in debt!

BE TRANSFORMED

I urge you to not be caught up by the world system

and its values. Romans 12:2 makes clear God’s

instructions to believers: “Do not be conformed to

this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to

its external, superficial customs], but be transformed

(changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by

its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may

prove [for yourselves] what is the good and

acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing

which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His

sight for you].”

I hope you will apply this verse to your life,

especially where money and possessions are

concerned. Live by the truth of God’s Word in these

areas, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in your

decisions. Do not let your friends or co-workers lead

you, but live within your means and be secure in

your identity in Christ, not seeking affirmation or

acceptance in money or things. Make wise financial

decisions and purchases so you can live a blessed

life.

Make wise financial decisions and purchases

so you can live a blessed life.

GIVE GOD YOUR WHOLE HEART

In Mark 10, we read the story of a man who asked

Jesus, “Teacher, [You are essentially and perfectly

morally] good, what must I do to inherit eternal life

[that is, to partake of eternal salvation]?” (v. 17).

Jesus responded, “Why do you call Me [essentially

and perfectly morally] good? There is no one

[essentially and perfectly morally] good—except God

alone. You know the commandments: Do not kill, do

not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false

witness, do not defraud, honor your father and

mother” (vv. 18, 19).

The man replied to Jesus that he had obeyed all the

commandments, for as long as he could remember.

Notice what happened next: “And Jesus, looking upon

him, loved him.” (v. 21, emphasis mine). Jesus is

about to give this man an instruction because He

loved him: “You lack one thing; go and sell all you

have and give [the money] to the poor, and you will

have treasure in heaven; and come [and] accompany

Me [walking the same road that I walk]” (v. 21).

This is not the most popular scripture in the Bible.

Many people do not like it, often because they do not

understand the heart of love behind it. They wonder,

“Does God want me to sell everything I have and give

the proceeds to the poor in order to serve Him?” No,

not at all. The point of this parable is that we have to

love Jesus first. We must love Him more than we love

our “stuff,” which was not the case with the man in

the story. We need to get rid of anything keeping us

from loving and serving God with all of our hearts.

We need to get rid of anything keeping us from

loving and serving God with all of our hearts.

If you have a job that keeps you from serving God,

find another job. If you have a boyfriend or a

girlfriend who does not want you to love God first,

find someone else. If you have a hobby or an interest

that takes you away from serving God, find another

way to spend your time. In practical terms, these are

the kinds of lessons Jesus was teaching the wealthy

young man. If you really want a deeper walk with

God, you may have to sacrifice some things that are

keeping you from it. Many times in God’s economy,

we have to let go of something lower to take hold of

something higher.

Pay attention to Jesus’ next words, which He spoke to

His disciples: “With what difficulty will those who

possess wealth and keep on holding it enter the

kingdom of God!” (v. 23, emphasis mine). Jesus did

not say there was anything wrong with the man’s

having wealth; He simply said it would be difficult

for people to enter the kingdom of God if they have

wealth and they keep on holding it.

We are supposed to receive from God, be blessed,

and use what He gives us to bless other people.

Where our resources are concerned, we are

supposed to be channels, not reservoirs. We are

supposed to receive from God, be blessed, and use

what He gives us to bless other people. We need to

view our finances as a stream with a constant flow.

Anytime you dam up water, it gets stagnant—and

greed has the same effect on us. It can make us want

to hold on to everything we have and not share our

blessings with others.

Let me encourage you to be a giver. Do not become

enamored with the world’s value system and its

attempts to lure you into “more and more and more.”

Pay attention to your thoughts and desires so you do

not become a lover of money. Study God’s Word to

find out what He says about having money and being

a good steward, and keep your resources flowing by

using them to serve God and bless other people.

CHAPTER 12

Be Fruitful

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”

—SOCRATES

Everyone today seems to be busy. So often, when I

ask people how they are, they reply, “Busy,” or when

I say, “How are things going?” they answer, “Busy.”

People seem to wear their busyness like a badge, as

though it is something to be proud of. But if we look

into God’s Word, we never once find Him telling us to

be busy, frustrated, overworked, or stressed. He

does, however, tell us to be fruitful. In Genesis 1:28,

after God created the first man and woman on earth,

He “blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful,

multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all

its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and

have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of

the air, and over every living creature that moves

upon the earth” (emphasis mine).

There is a difference between being busy and being

fruitful. When we are busy, we simply accomplish

what we need or want to do, sometimes with no

feeling of satisfaction or long-term benefits. When

we are fruitful, though, we can sense God’s grace on

what we do; we feel satisfied and fulfilled; and we

know that it will produce lasting results and make an

impact greater than we can make in our natural

strength.

When we are fruitful, we take the dominion God

instructs us to take in Genesis 1:28. From the very

beginning, God gives man authority, saying basically,

“You are not to be ruled; you are to rule. If you don’t

rule and reign, if you don’t take authority over

things, if you don’t have dominion, everything else

will rule you and you will never get around to being

fruitful and multiplying.” So, how do we take

authority over the situations demanding our time

and attention and become fruitful instead of busy in

our lives? Read on.

JUST SAY NO

The number one way to take authority over your

time and energy is to learn when to say yes and

when to say no. If you are not willing to say no when

necessary, activities and commitments will draw you

into busyness, whittle away your time, and steal your

ability to be fruitful. Saying no when necessary has

the same effect on your time and productivity

pruning has on a tree. It does not always feel good

when you do it, but after a while, you become fuller,

stronger, and more productive than before. I spent a

large portion of my life “doing” things, but I have

now learned to enjoy “being.” That doesn’t mean I no

longer do anything, but I have worked hard to have

balance between doing and being. This is why we are

called human beings, not “human doings.”

The number one way to take authority

over your time and energy is to learn

when to say yes and when to say no.

I often have to say no to invitations and

opportunities. People don’t always like or

understand that, but I have come to a place in my life

where I know what I need to do and not do in order

to fulfill the things I am called to do and enjoy my life

at the same time. I can’t attend every party or go to

every dinner to which I am invited. If people want to

eat with me, they will probably have to eat early. I

don’t want to go out and eat at 9:00 p.m. and not be

able to sleep all night because I am full. If I do that, I

will be tired and unfruitful the following day.

What about you? Do you feel pushed and pulled by

saying too many yeses and not enough nos? Are you

overcommitted and under-satisfied? I encourage you

today to say no when you need to and to seek to be

fulfilled and fruitful rather than merely busy.

Running an international ministry may not be your

challenge; it could be raising three children or

running a business. We are not all called to do the

same thing, but we all do need to make sure we are

not spending our time unwisely or letting people,

circumstances, or the world system manipulate us

and steal our time to the point we cannot find any

time to do the things we really want to do or feel we

are supposed to be doing.

EXAMINE YOUR MOTIVES, EVALUATE YOUR

PRODUCTIVITY

In John 15:16, Jesus says, “You have not chosen Me,

but I have chosen you and I have appointed you [I

have planted you], that you might go and bear fruit

and keep on bearing, and that your fruit may be

lasting [that it may remain, abide], so that whatever

you ask the Father in My Name [as presenting all that

I AM], He may give it to you.” Notice in this verse God

Himself chose you and called you into relationship

with Him, and He did it for a reason. Yes, God wants

you to enjoy your life, but He also wants you to be

productive and bear good fruit. In fact, that is the

purpose for which He chose and appointed you.

Yes, God wants you to enjoy your life, but

He also wants you to be productive and

bear good fruit. In fact, that is the purpose

for which He chose and appointed you.

One way to start getting your busyness under control

and begin to be fruitful is to write down all the things

you put your time into and then go back and ask

yourself, “Why am I doing that?” “Why am I on that

committee?” “Why am I going to that party?” “Why

am I going to that luncheon?” “Why did I commit to

that?”

If you will assess what you are doing and ask

yourself why you are doing it, you will discover that

much of it is not even for right reasons. You may find

you are doing some things to impress someone you

don’t even like, or to feel accepted, or to keep people

from becoming upset. You may also be doing things

because you think you should—out of a false sense of

obligation.

In addition to examining your motives, another

important step toward greater fruitfulness in your

life is to evaluate your current level of productivity.

Are you being fruitful in some ways, but not in

others? Or, are you extremely busy, but not very

fruitful at all? Ask yourself these questions and let

your answers help you move toward a more fruitful,

productive life:

• Are you spending your time in ways that help you

fulfill your purpose?

• Are you doing what you really desire to do, or are

you merely being controlled and pressured by

circumstances and the expectations of other people?

• Are you being productive with your time and

energy?

• What are you doing to help somebody else?

• Do you see tangible results from your busyness, or

are you just busy?

• What specific changes do you need to make in your

commitments if you are going to be fruitful instead

of busy?

• How do you need to reorder or re-prioritize the way

you spend your time so you can be more fruitful?

Let me encourage you to follow the leading of the

Holy Spirit as He shows you the changes you need to

make to be more fruitful. If you are not willing to

change, then nothing will change; your life will stay

exactly as it is. You must understand that when you

start making changes, some people will be unhappy.

If you have been catering to a particular person and

you decide to change the amount of time you spend

with or doing things for him or her, your decision

may not be received well. When that happens, just

give the person time to adjust. If they are unwilling

to make that adjustment, then perhaps they were not

real friends at all. If being controlled by someone is

the only way to keep a relationship, then that is a

relationship you do not want. Determine that you are

not going to stand before God someday and have to

explain why you did not use your time wisely.

Determine that you are going to bear fruit. Choose

every day to do something worth doing.

Let me encourage you to follow the leading of the

Holy Spirit as He shows you the changes you need

to make to be more fruitful.

IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

You can live an awesome life, but if you are not being

fruitful, you will be frustrated. The reason for this is

God created you to be productive. He made you to

accomplish the plans and purposes He has for your

life, and when you are doing so, you feel fulfilled.

You know you are using your time wisely; you sense

you are walking in God’s will for your life; you

believe what you are doing is important. You have to

make sure you put your time into your purpose;

anything less will leave you longing for something

more. It has been said that we should put 80 percent

of our time into our top two priorities in life. We can

so easily “major in minors” and by doing so end up

never fulfilling our main goals.

God created you to be productive. He made

you to accomplish the plans and purposes

He has for your life, and when you are doing

so, you feel fulfilled.

When God called Joshua to finish what He called

Moses to start by leading the Israelites into the

Promised Land, He said to him: “This Book of the

Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall

meditate on it day and night, that you may observe

and do according to all that is written in it. For then

you shall make your way prosperous, and then you

shall deal wisely and have good success” ( Joshua

1:8). Just as He did for Joshua, God has a prosperous,

blessed, wonderful, joy-filled, fruitful life for you!

You do not have to sit on the sidelines and listen to

other people talk about the great lives they have. You

can have good success and a great life too.

God is no respecter of persons. What He does for

someone else, He will do for you if you take

responsibility for your choices in life.

There were many years when my life was not

wonderful, but that was not God’s fault. Even my

circumstances were not to blame; it was my fault.

Until I took responsibility for my life, nothing

changed. If you want change in your life, don’t sit

around and just wish you were more productive;

make the adjustments necessary for greater

fruitfulness and productivity in your life. Realize you

have many of the same opportunities everyone else

does. God is no respecter of persons. What He does

for someone else, He will do for you if you take

responsibility for your choices in life.

If you decide you are no longer going to be busy but

fruitful, you will have to make some changes. Some

of those changes will be unpopular with people

around you, but you are the only one who will stand

before God and give an account for your life. Nobody

else can do that for you. You have a God-given right

to follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit and to

fulfill your destiny, but if you don’t make the

decision to do it and take responsibility for it, the

enemy will steal your destiny and rob you of your

dreams. And he will do it through simple little things

like getting you overcommitted and entangled in

activities that keep you busy and wear you out but

are not productive and have no lasting value. One of

Satan’s main goals is to distract us. He knows he will

keep us from being fruitful if he can prevent us from

focusing on what is important. Your destiny is

important; you only have one life to live for God. Be

determined to take responsibility for it and do the

things He created and called you to do.

STRIKE A BALANCE

Remember what God said in Genesis 1:28: “Be

fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it

[using all its vast resources in the service of God and

man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the

birds of the air, and over every living creature that

moves upon the earth.” What are you doing with

what you have? Stop putting off until some other

time in life what you feel God has called you to do.

Perhaps you intend to obey God at some other time,

but good intentions do not equal obedience and they

bring no reward. Procrastination deceives people

and often steals their destiny.

If God has put a deep desire for something

in you, then you will be denying Him if you

stay so busy doing other activities that you

never pursue what He wants you to do.

Notice God was saying, essentially, “Everything I’ve

given you, I want you to use to serve Me and to help

people.” One of the best ways I know to enjoy life is

to do things for other people, and I encourage you to

be a blessing to everyone you can in every way you

can. But do not allow yourself to become so busy

helping everyone else that you neglect yourself, your

time with God, or your purpose in life. You do need

to live sacrificially and to serve other people, but

remember: there’s a “you” too. You have desires.

There are things you want to do, experience, and

enjoy. If God has put a deep desire for something in

you, then you will be denying Him if you stay so busy

doing other activities that you never pursue what He

wants you to do. When it comes to your destiny, you

are the only one who can fulfill it. No one else can do

it for you. So do what you can for other people, but

do not allow yourself to be consumed by them to the

point that you stop spending time with God or

walking in His destiny for your life. If you are too

busy for God, then you are definitely too busy!

MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MINUTE

When we speak of busyness and fruitfulness, we are

primarily addressing the way we use our time. Time

is a resource God gives us, and we must use our time

to be fruitful. Two of the phrases we should avoid,

both verbally and in our attitudes, are: “I just have a

little time to kill” and “I am just passing the time.”

Time is not a commodity to kill or to “pass”; it is a gift

to steward.

I am not one to waste time. I like to be productive

with every minute. In my daily life, I make a diligent

effort to keep everything on schedule. Sometimes

that gets me in trouble because circumstances

sometimes cause me to fall behind, and then I have

to rush. I do not like to hurry, so I am learning to put

a little more margin in my life—to allow more time

between appointments and scheduled activities—and

that relieves a good bit of frustration.

There are times when you do not have enough

minutes or hours to complete a task or do something

you want to do, but it’s too early to do the next thing

you need to do. When you have five, ten, or fifteen

minutes, don’t just “kill” your time. Use it to bear

fruit. Keep a book or a Bible with you and use those

few minutes to read something. Listen to worship

music or part of a sermon. Pray. Write someone a

note of encouragement. When you have a few

minutes, make them count.

I don’t mean to suggest that we should be doing

something with every minute of every day. Taking

time to reflect and just drink in the quiet and silence

is also very valuable during those moments between

scheduled events. Silence restores the soul and helps

prepare us for the next thing we need to do.

Learn to discern your needs emotionally, mentally,

physically, and spiritually, and use your time

accordingly. Sometimes reading is best and at other

times sitting quietly and doing absolutely nothing is

best. Just remember that once time goes by you

cannot ever get it back, so use it wisely.

To me, one of the worst things that can happen to

people is to grow old and look back upon their lives

and realize they never took time to do what they

thought they were supposed to do or what they

wanted to do or to feel they wasted their lives. I do

not want you to look back in your latter years and be

filled with regret. No matter your age, it is not too

late to start using your time wisely and bearing good

fruit.

As Christians, we do not mourn over the past; we let

go of it and we go on. I believe God can take the years

you have left on earth and make them count. He can

make up for lost time and redeem days or even years

you may have wasted. Your latter years can be even

more fruitful than your former years if you

determine today not to waste another minute, but to

take dominion over every unproductive thing in your

life and be fruitful every day.

CHAPTER 13

Wise Up!

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps

you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

—SANDRA CAREY

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains

found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she

met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise

woman opened her bag to share her food. The

hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked

the woman to give it to him. She did so without

hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good

fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give

him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he

came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable

the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you

can give me something even more precious. Give me

what you have within you that enabled you to give

me something more precious. Give me what you

have within you that enabled you to give me the

stone.”1

All of us desperately need what was inside the

woman with the precious stone: wisdom. If you want

to build your life upon a firm foundation of wisdom,

one of the best ways to do so is to read and study the

book of Proverbs. It will teach you to make good

decisions and to use wisdom in your work,

relationships, finances, and time management, as

well as in other areas of your practical, everyday life.

I like to define using wisdom as “choosing to do right

now what you will be satisfied with later on.”

Wisdom is not the intellectual knowledge you

experience; rather, it is knowing in your heart the

right way to think, speak, and act in any situation.

Wisdom is not reserved for highly educated people,

naturally smart people, or those who separate

themselves from other people to seek the mysteries

of life. No, wisdom is God-given insight and

understanding everyone can apply to the

circumstances, challenges, and decisions we face in

our everyday lives. The more wisdom we use today,

the better our tomorrow will be.

Wisdom is God-given insight and

understanding everyone can apply to

the circumstances, challenges, and

decisions we face in our everyday lives.

If you are a believer who knows the Word of God,

you have wisdom. The Bible says you have the mind

of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 2:16). It also says Christ is

made unto us wisdom (see 1 Corinthians 1:30), and

“the Lord gives skillful and godly wisdom” to those

who walk uprightly by faith in Him (see Proverbs 2:6,

7). Wisdom is available to you in the Word of God. If

you study the Word you are well equipped to know

what to do in any situation and to make good

decisions. When you need to make a decision, stop

and listen to your heart before taking action. This

will prevent you from making emotional decisions

that end up badly. Ask God to reveal His wisdom to

you and then make decisions accordingly.

WISDOM CRIES OUT

God wants us to use wisdom, and the Holy Spirit will

lead us into wisdom if we will simply ask Him to do

so. Proverbs 1:20 teaches us, “Wisdom cries aloud in

the street, she raises her voice in the markets.” In

other words, wisdom is not difficult to obtain. God

wants to reveal it to us; we simply need to pay

attention.

For example, have you ever needed to make a

decision and had your head (your intellectual

abilities) try to lead you one way while your heart

was leading you another? Have you ever had a

situation in which your flesh (your natural thoughts

and feelings) seemed to be guiding you in one

direction, but something inside you kept nagging you

to go another direction? For example, have there

been times when you stayed up late at night

watching television, even though you knew you

needed a good night’s sleep to be strong and alert for

an important meeting the next day—and you kept

resisting the knowing in your heart that you really

should go to bed? Have you purchased something

you were excited about on an emotional level, but

knew in your heart you could not really afford and

didn’t even need?

What is happening in the kinds of circumstances I

have just described? Chances are, wisdom is crying

out to you. Many times, it cries out in the form of the

things you find yourself thinking you should or

should not do—you should eat healthily, you should

be kind to other people, you should not spend money

you do not have. These are all practical examples of

using wisdom in everyday life. When you sense such

leadings, the Holy Spirit, who speaks to your heart, is

trying to help you make a wise decision, even though

it may not be the choice you want to make or it may

not seem to make much sense in your present

circumstances.

God wants us to walk in wisdom and make

choices now that we will be happy with later.

The Spirit is at war against our flesh, and vice versa

(see Galatians 5:17). When we know the wise choice

to make and don’t make it, the reason is often that

we are allowing our flesh to lead us and to see if we

can get away with unwise decisions—which are also

known as “foolishness.” The flesh leads us to

foolishness, but God wants us to walk in wisdom and

make choices now that we will be happy with later.

SEEK WISDOM

Proverbs 2:1–5 gives us great insight into the way

wisdom works and into the value of making the

effort to seek wisdom in life:

My Son, if you will receive my words and treasure up

my commandments within you, making your ear

attentive to skillful and godly Wisdom and inclining

and directing your heart and mind to understanding

[applying all your powers to the quest for it]. Yes, if

you cry out for insight and raise your voice for

understanding, if you seek [Wisdom] as for silver and

search for skillful and godly Wisdom as for hidden

treasures, then you will understand the reverent and

worshipful fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of

[our omniscient] God.

This passage encourages us to seek wisdom as

diligently as we pursue other things in life and to

understand that the fear of the Lord is essential to

living a wise life. In fact, Psalm 111:10 says, “The

reverent fear and worship of the Lord is the

beginning of Wisdom.” If we would seek wisdom

with as much passion as we seek education, money,

good looks, profitable jobs, or fulfilling relationships,

our lives would be much better.

Verse 5 of this passage reveals that many people have

horrible messes in their lives because they do not

understand the “reverential fear” of God. This kind

of awe toward God is the first step toward wisdom;

without it, we will never be wise. When I use the

words “reverential fear,” I do not mean we should be

afraid of God, but rather that we should have great

respect for Him and treat Him with honor. The

reverential fear and awe of God means we know God

is mighty and He means what He says. God is all-

knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful, and everywhere all

the time. We should respect His awesomeness and be

respectfully afraid to disobey Him.

Many people treat God merely as their buddy, one

who is too kind and merciful to discipline them, ask

them to sacrifice for Him, or require them to adjust

attitudes or behaviors. I believe they have adopted

this view simply because they do not want to change

their lifestyles and be obedient to God’s Word. This

approach to God is not biblical. If we are going to

relate to Him in reverential fear, as the Bible

instructs, we will understand we need to honor and

obey Him—because our lives will be in shambles if

we don’t. God does love us unconditionally, but He

loves us too much to leave us in our sins.

WISDOM WILL PROMOTE YOU

Wisdom is one of the keys to promotion and increase

in any area of life. Proverbs 4:8 urges us, “Prize

Wisdom highly and exalt her, and she will exalt and

promote you; she will bring you to honor when you

embrace her.”

Wisdom is one of the keys to promotion

and increase in any area of life.

I believe many people fail to receive promotions they

might otherwise be granted in their professions

simply because they do not act wisely on their jobs.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the people

who seem smartest or most intellectual are not

promoted? That’s because brainpower alone is not

enough; wisdom and common sense are also

important.

I have had some extremely bright people with very

good minds on my staff over the years. Some of

them, however, did not use wisdom at work. Maybe

they were unkind to co-workers. Maybe they talked

too much while others were trying to work. Maybe

they seemed unable to get back to their desks on time

after lunch or spent too much time on personal

phone calls during working hours. Their skills were

excellent, but they did not demonstrate wisdom in

other ways, so I did not promote them. Skills are

important, but if a person can type at lightning speed

and not manage to be friendly and respectful in the

office, he or she will not be promoted in our

organization. A wise person who also has good skills,

on the other hand, can expect to advance anywhere

he or she goes, because wisdom is what promotes us

and exalts us.

Similarly, a person can have the best educational

credentials on earth and not have any wisdom

whatsoever. In modern times, we have almost

emphasized education to a fault. We not only need

people who are educated and trained, and who

operate in significant natural knowledge, but we also

need to emphasize the value of wisdom, spiritual

understanding, and discernment.

WISDOM AND THE WAYS OF GOD

The Amplified Bible teaches us that part of walking

in wisdom includes a deep understanding of God’s

ways and purposes—not simply who He is or what

He does, but how He works in our lives. Proverbs

4:11 reads, “I have taught you in the way of skillful

and godly Wisdom [which is comprehensive insight

into the ways and purposes of God.]”

You see, true Christianity goes far beyond sound

doctrine. We certainly need to know the principles of

our faith in the form of doctrine, but real Christianity

is so much more than a set of beliefs; it is a way of

daily, practical living that comes from understanding

the ways and purposes of God. I like to say being a

Christian begins with a decision to receive Jesus

Christ as your Savior and Lord and is walked out in a

daily lifestyle that adheres to His principles.

Real Christianity is so much more than a set of

beliefs; it is a way of daily, practical living that

comes from understanding the ways and

purposes of God.

When we approach everyday situations from the

perspective of God’s ways and purposes, we ask

questions such as: “How would Jesus talk to that

person?” “How would Jesus handle this situation?”

“How would Jesus act in these circumstances?”

“Would Jesus be gossiping now?” “How would Jesus

deal with that person’s obvious need? Would He

walk away from it and not care, or would He try to

do something about it?” When we begin to think

along these lines, we are learning to be wise because

we are seeking to understand the ways and purposes

of God.

Moses was a very wise man, one who understood the

importance of knowing God’s ways. In Exodus 33:13,

he cried out to God, “If I have found favor in Your

sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You

[progressively become more deeply and intimately

acquainted with You, perceiving and recognizing and

understanding more strongly and clearly.]” God

answered Moses’ prayer, as we read in Psalm 103:7:

“He made known His ways . . . to Moses, His acts to

the children of Israel.”

Notice the distinction between what God made

known to Moses (His ways) and what He made

known to the children of Israel (His acts). Some

people are only interested in God’s acts—what He

will do for them. But wise people are like Moses; they

hunger for a deep understanding of His ways. Let me

encourage you to cry out to God as Moses did. Ask

Him to show you His ways and help you understand

His purposes. As He reveals them to you, you will

grow in wisdom.

MEET WISDOM AT THE INTERSECTIONS

Almost everywhere you travel, you are likely to come

to a point where two roads intersect and you must

choose whether to turn or to go straight.

We all face intersections in our lives. They are our

turning points, the places where we must make

decisions. Though Proverbs 8:1–3 does not use the

word intersection, this passage speaks of the

intersections we all encounter: “Does not skillful and

godly Wisdom cry out, and understanding raise her

voice [in contrast to the loose woman]? On the top of

the heights beside the way, where the paths meet,

stands Wisdom [skillful and godly]. At the gates at

the entrance of the town, at the coming in at the

doors, she cries out.”

Notice that “where the paths meet, stands Wisdom.”

In other words, wisdom is standing at every

intersection of your life. It is waiting for you at every

point of decision in your life, and it is crying out,

“Listen to me! Don’t just do what you feel like doing.

Don’t just say whatever you feel like saying. Don’t

just buy whatever you feel like buying. Don’t make

your own decisions. Follow God! Obey His Word!”

If you are standing at a point of decision in your

life right now, let me urge you to follow wisdom.

If you are standing at a point of decision in your life

right now, let me urge you to follow wisdom. Seek

God with all your heart instead of running to your

friends, a talk-show host, a Web site, or books and

magazines for advice. Go to God and His Word first,

and don’t automatically turn to the people and

resources around you and ask them what you ought

to do. God may lead you to a person for advice or He

may answer your prayer by speaking through

someone, but it is best to honor Him by seeking Him

first.

Recently, I was with an acquaintance who had

serious back problems. After an unsuccessful

surgery, she continued to have terrible pain. Her

doctor released her, saying there was nothing more

anyone could do, and suggested she go to a pain-

management clinic and learn to live with the pain.

I have a chiropractor who is an expert in muscle

work and has helped me over the years. He recently

added to his practice a full gymnasium with strength

coaches and personal trainers. I told my distraught

friend I really thought this doctor could help her. She

lived in Arizona and my doctor is in Missouri, but she

decided to make the trip and see if he could help her.

After one visit, her pain diminished greatly. The

chiropractor put her on a rehabilitation strength

program and after she returned to him a few more

times she was soon completely pain free. Wow!

She did not run to me and ignore God; rather, in

seeking God, He gave her advice through me. As I

said, God may use a person to speak words of

wisdom to us, but it is important that we seek Him

because all true wisdom comes from Him. He

deserves the credit, no matter what vessel He uses.

God is the source of all wisdom. What works

for someone you know will not work for

you unless God blesses it, so make sure

you don’t leave Him out of your plans.

Think about this common scenario. Often, when one

person goes on a diet and loses weight, everyone

around that person wants to know how he or she was

so successful. Then we try the same diet but do not

get the same results. Wouldn’t we be better off to

pray and ask God to give us wisdom about our own

unique bodies, our appetites, and our nutritional

needs, and let Him guide us in a plan that will be

effective for each of us individually? That’s what I

mean by seeking God instead of looking to other

people for counsel. God is the source of all wisdom.

What works for someone you know will not work for

you unless God blesses it, so make sure you don’t

leave Him out of your plans.

When you have a decision to make, seek Him

diligently, obey His leading, and follow His wisdom.

Wisdom is your friend, and she will never mislead

you.

WISDOM FOR EVERY DAY

At the beginning of this chapter, I mentioned 1

Corinthians 1:30, which tells us God made Jesus

Christ our wisdom, our righteousness, our

consecration, and our redemption. In other words, if

we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, if

He lives within us, we have access to the wisdom of

God.

Remember: Wisdom is choosing to do right now what

we will be satisfied with later. It is taking a long view

toward our lives and making decisions now that will

benefit us in the future.

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of wisdom (see Isaiah

11:2); He will lead you to make wise decisions. I

cannot encourage you strongly enough to do what

God leads you to do. Do not procrastinate, but act

when He speaks to your heart. When God tells you to

do something, there is an anointing (power) on it at

that time. If you will do it when God speaks, it will be

easy because you will have grace (God’s ability and

favor) to do it. If you wait until you think you’re

ready, or until you think everything is perfectly in

place, it may be difficult and you may find yourself

striving. But if you will act in faith when God says

act, you will find His grace to do whatever He asks of

you.

Many times, God will lead you to walk in wisdom by

simply helping you use common sense; often, plain

ol’ common sense is wisdom. Use some common

sense in the way you act, the way you work, the way

you relate to your spouse and children, the way you

manage your time, and the way you handle your

finances. For instance, don’t spend more money than

you make; don’t eat foods that make you sick; and

don’t agree to time commitments that will stretch

you beyond your limits and cause you stress.

Let me remind you: the enemy wants to kill, steal,

and destroy everything in our lives, but Jesus came

that we might have and enjoy our lives (see John

10:10). God’s plan has never changed. He has a good

plan for your life. Do not be foolish and miss out on

the blessings He has for you, but be wise. If you do

foolish things, you will have problems; but if you use

wisdom, your flesh may be uncomfortable for a

while, but in the end, you will enjoy victory. Make a

commitment today to live wisely and to do now what

you will be satisfied with later.

CHAPTER 14

Raise the Standard

“Let us be about setting high standards for life, love,

creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these

areas are low, we are not likely to experience

wellness. Setting high standards makes every day

and every decade worth looking forward to.”

—GREG ANDERSON

All over the world today, societies are decaying,

families are falling apart, and individuals are

growing increasingly frustrated and miserable. I

believe one of the primary reasons for this is that

people have stopped setting high standards for

themselves, their marriages, their children, their

businesses, and their social institutions. We see

evidence of widespread moral decline in rising crime

statistics, escalating divorce rates, shocking

information about sexual behavior in teenagers, and

growing problems with drug and alcohol abuse. We

also see it in events such as school shootings,

suicides, and newborn infants left in garbage

containers.

These problems are not what God wants, and they do

not reflect the abundant life Jesus died to give the

world. But as I have mentioned previously in this

book, one of God’s great gifts to mankind is the

power of choice. If we want to enjoy the blessings He

has for us, we need to make lifestyle choices that

align with His Word and are consistent with the

values of His Word, not choices reflecting the

constantly eroding values of the world.

LIVE THE HIGH LIFE

During the days of the prophet Elijah, God’s people

became fickle. They said they followed Him, but they

were not deeply committed to Him. We would say

today, “They had one foot in the kingdom of God and

one foot in the world.” We would also call them

“carnal Christians,” those who seem very godly on

Sunday and just like nonbelievers during the rest of

the week.

Christianity is not merely a weekly

trip to church; it is receiving Jesus as our

Savior and then learning to live a

lifestyle consistent with His principles.

They enjoy the same types of entertainment popular

in the secular community. They watch the same

movies and the same television programs as

nonbelievers. They dress, speak, act, and think the

same way worldly people do; they laugh at the same

dirty jokes; and they engage in the same

unwholesome conversations. But because they wear

Christian jewelry, have bumper stickers with

scripture on them, own Bibles, and attend church on

Sundays, they think they are Christians. The Bible

says, if we are hearers of the word and not doers,

then we are deceiving our own selves through

reasoning contrary to the truth (see James 1:22).

Christianity is not merely a weekly trip to church; it

is receiving Jesus as our Savior and then learning to

live a lifestyle consistent with His principles.

People have not changed much since Elijah’s time,

and he had some strong words for the carnal

believers of his day: “How long will you halt and

limp between two opinions? If the Lord is God,

follow Him! But if Baal, then follow him. And the

people did not answer him a word” (1 Kings 18:21).

My sentiments exactly! To modern-day believers, I

say we must make stronger commitments to God. As

Christians, we must raise the standards in our lives

to reflect the holiness and excellence of the God we

serve. No matter how much our culture deteriorates,

we must continue to live on a higher plane—not in

the sense of being “above” other people so we can

look down on them, but in the sense of refusing to

join in with those who enjoy “low living” which

keeps them from enjoying God’s presence and

blessings. Having high standards that reflect the

holiness of God does not mean we can never have

fun or enjoy anything the world offers. For example,

I do not believe it is wrong to watch television, but I

do believe we should be selective about what we

watch. It is not wrong to tell a joke, but it should be

one filled with wholesome humor, not immorality.

We live in the world and we cannot ignore the things

around us, but we must have high standards that

prevent us from becoming “worldly.” We should

regularly ask God if we have begun to compromise in

any area of our lives. If we have, we need to ask Him

to forgive us and immediately choose to make a

change for the better.

Living above the standards of the world has to do

with the choices we make regarding the quality of

our conversations, the way we dress, the content and

images in the books and magazines we read and in

the television shows and movies we watch. It also

has to do with the level of integrity with which we

live our personal lives, interact with other people,

and conduct ourselves in our businesses or

professions.

COME TO THE KINGDOM

As Christians, we need to encourage one another to

live by godly standards and to resist the pull of the

world. We need to be holding each other accountable

for the words, images, and information we allow into

our minds. A well-known quotation instructs us:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch

your words, for they become actions. Watch your

actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits,

for they become character. Watch your character, for

it becomes your destiny” (Anonymous).

You may be thinking, Joyce, the music I hear and the

movies I watch are really none of your business.

True, but I have a great desire to help you enjoy your

life more than you ever have before, and I know that

setting high standards and living a godly lifestyle will

bring peace, joy, stability, and blessings to your life

today and set you on a good path toward your future.

I don’t believe watching excessive violence, listening

to filthy language, or seeing images of people without

many clothes on will help you grow in God.

One of my favorite ways to relax is with a good

movie. I understand how difficult it is to find

something to watch that is both clean and of good

quality, but it is possible. I think the important point

is for each of us to pay attention to how the things we

watch affect our spirits. If we feel grieved inside or

convicted by what we are seeing or hearing, then we

simply need to choose to watch or listen to something

else.

Setting high standards and living a godly

lifestyle will bring peace, joy, stability,

and blessings to your life today and set you

on a good path toward your future.

Different things bother different people. My father

used a lot of filthy language while I was growing up;

therefore I am especially sensitive to dirty language.

Romans 14:22 makes clear that we should not do

things we feel guilty about and states we should not

try to make others live by our convictions: “Your

personal convictions [on such matters]—exercise

[them] as in God’s presence, keeping them to yourself

[striving only to know the truth and obey His will].

Blessed (happy, to be envied) is he who has no reason

to judge himself for what he approves [who does not

convict himself by what he chooses to do].”

THE POWER OF INFLUENCE

God is interested in the influences we allow in our

lives. In addition to what we see and hear, we need to

be very careful about the people with whom we

choose to spend our time. The Bible teaches us not to

sit passively and inactively in the pathway of sinners,

nor to relax and rest in the presence of the scornful

and mockers (see Psalm 1:1). Passively going along

with whatever other people want to do can be very

dangerous. We may not be able to change them, but

we do not have to do what they do. It is easy to get

into a stream of water and float downstream with the

current, but it is more difficult to swim upstream. It

is often easier to just go along with other people and

do what the majority wants to do, but in the long run

doing so can cause us tremendous heartache and

misery.

We must set high standards concerning what we

wear, what we watch, what we listen to, where we go,

how we use our time, how we spend our money, who

we associate with, and how we entertain ourselves.

We cannot be like the people of Elijah’s day, saying

basically, “Today I will serve and honor God, but

tomorrow I will go along with the people around

me!”

Decide whether you are going to

dedicate yourself to God or to serve

the world and the world system.

I want to say to you what Elijah said to the people

around him: “Make up your mind!” Decide whether

you are going to dedicate yourself to God or to serve

the world and the world system. I urge you to make a

decision to serve God wholly and completely, putting

Him first in everything you do.

COMMIT

One of the most important keys to living blessed and

godly lives is commitment. If we want to experience

God’s blessings in our everyday lives, we cannot be

half-hearted in our relationships with Him. We must

be radically committed, willing to allow Him to

rearrange our values and priorities, our schedules,

our budgets, and everything else. We must be

wholehearted in our devotion to Him and to the

principles of His Word.

Let me encourage you to be committed to spending

time with God. Be committed to studying and living

by the Word. Be committed to prayer. Be committed

to a group of people who hold you accountable for

your actions. Don’t simply attend church when you

feel like going, make a commitment to being there,

participating, paying attention, and applying the

biblical teaching you receive. Become so committed

to God and to the things of God you refuse to allow

yourself to become lazy or to fail to do what you are

supposed to do.

Many people today resist the idea of being committed

to anything, because they want to be “free.” I want to

tell you true freedom is not being able to do

whatever you want whenever you want. Real

freedom is the ability to make choices that honor

God and align with His Word. Being free means we

can discipline ourselves to obey God’s Word,

knowing it will lead to peace and great fulfillment in

life.

Do not jeopardize your happiness in life by letting

worthless, worldly influences hinder your walk with

God. Get committed to Him! Eliminate influences

that are bad for you, dishonoring to God, or simply

draining the life out of you, and give your time and

energy to people and activities that will fill you with

the life of God. Follow Him wholeheartedly!

CHRISTIANITY IS A LIFESTYLE

Many people want their lives to be different but are

not willing to change their lifestyles. One of the most

important lessons I have learned about Christianity

is that it is walked out in a lifestyle. An important

way your faith becomes a lifestyle is by associating

with people who share beliefs and values consistent

with yours. To grow spiritually, you need to be

around people who will encourage you to be godly.

The attitudes and beliefs of the people you’re around

will influence you. If you spend time with people

who complain and grumble all the time, you will

begin to do the same. If you surround yourself with

people who are angry or disrespectful, you will find

yourself expressing anger or being disrespectful too.

If you associate with people who are stingy and self-

centered, you will begin to view those attitudes as

acceptable and incorporate them into your own

thoughts and behaviors. If the people you spend time

with are bitter, resentful, hateful, prejudiced, and

judgmental—you will become as they are. If you do

spend time with unbelievers or less-committed

Christians, be sure you are affecting them and that

they are not infecting you.

To grow spiritually, you need to be around

people who will encourage you to be godly.

If you surround yourself with people who are

positive, you will soon find yourself becoming upbeat

and optimistic because every time you say something

negative, they will offer a positive response. Their

right responses will convict you of your wrong ones

and you will eventually become positive yourself. If

you spend time with someone who is generous to

others, you very likely will become generous too. If

you develop relationships with people who are

loving and compassionate, you will walk in love too.

PAY THE PRICE

I want you to understand that living by high, godly

standards will cost you. You may have to give up

some of your friends. You may not be the most

popular person at your workplace or at your school,

but you will be respected and you will enjoy your

life. You will have righteousness, peace, and joy. You

will not live under the guilt and torment of sin, but

you will have confidence because you will know you

are making right choices rather than compromising.

If you are willing to walk away from wrong

relationships, God will eventually connect you with

people with whom you can have wonderful, godly

relationships. If you will pay the price for high

standards, you will be able to face your future with

boldness and confidence.

Jesus said that though we are in the world we are not

of the world (see John 17:16). We must resist the pull

of the world that is continually tugging on us. We

must refuse to be like the world and determine to

live holy lives. Christianity is not simply attending

church or reading a Bible verse each day. It is a

lifestyle, a way of living and approaching every area

of our lives; and it should affect every decision we

make.

Christianity is not simply attending

church or reading a Bible verse each

day. It is a lifestyle, a way of living and

approaching every area of our lives; and

it should affect every decision we make.

When Christianity truly becomes a lifestyle for us,

we won’t think the way we once did. We won’t talk

the way we once did. We won’t dress the way we

once did. We won’t have the habits we had before we

were saved. We will make different choices about

how to use our money. We won’t watch the same

kinds of movies we did before we knew God’s Word.

We may even find ourselves making better choices

relating to physical health, such as eating more

healthily or exercising more regularly. We learn

everything is for Him, to Him, through Him, and in

Him (see Romans 11:36).

Sometimes, I think of things Dave and I enjoyed

years ago and now I cannot even imagine doing

them. I say that we enjoyed them, but, actually, our

lives were filled with misery so perhaps we were not

enjoying them as much as we thought we were. We

can be easily deceived and become hardened and

calloused to the evil around us. We grow accustomed

to things that are not godly, and that becomes

dangerous because we don’t even notice people are

making fun of God, or taking His name in vain. The

devil wants us to not be shocked by the wickedness

in our society, so we need to maintain a tender

conscience through prayer and fellowship with God

and other committed Christians.

We need to pray for sensitivity in our hearts; we

need to ask God to make our consciences tender. We

need to pray we will have the ability to set and

maintain high standards in our lives. We need to

draw some “lines in the sand” of our lives and say, “I

am not going beyond this! I don’t care if I am the

only one, I’m going to stand with God!” Make a

decision. It will cost you a lot to serve God

wholeheartedly, but it will cost you a lot more if you

don’t. There is a price to pay—yes. But the dividends

are high! Oh, and by the way, when you do draw a

line of moral principles for your life, don’t move the

line if honoring it becomes inconvenient. Set your

mind and keep it set on things above and not on

things of the earth, because you belong to God

through Jesus Christ.

There is no way I could describe to you how glad I

am I made the decisions I made along the way. I

really am enjoying my life. There were times in the

past when I was always looking for something else I

thought I needed to make me happy, but now I am

happy and at peace because God meets my needs and

satisfies my soul. Of course, there are many things I

enjoy, but God is my portion in life; I need Him more

than anything else. I enjoy things, but I can live

without them if I have to; however, I cannot live

without God and His presence in my life.

I am not consumed by bitterness, resentment, or

guilt. I am not tormenting myself by wondering what

people think about me. I know how to receive God’s

forgiveness when I make mistakes, and I am not

consumed with guilt and condemnation. I’m not

wounded, bruised, and bleeding on the inside,

because He has healed my soul. I have paid the price

for an intimate relationship with God, and I am

living in the blessings of loving and serving Him. I

hope you will do the same. God does not play

favorites. What is available for one person in Him is

available to all. With your whole heart, seek Him and

His will for you and you will not only find Him, you’ll

discover a life worth living.

THE PROTECTION OF A GODLY LIFESTYLE

A lifestyle of following the principles of God’s Word

offers many blessings. One of them, which some

people do not think of, is protection against the

enemy. The things we see and hear can be tools the

enemy uses to wage war on the battlefields of our

minds. When we see or hear something, it is

recorded forever in our subconscious mind. Who do

you think is behind ungodly scenes, images, and

words in so much of today’s music, television,

Internet, and printed material? It isn’t God; it’s the

enemy!

A lifestyle of following the principles of God’s

Word offers many blessings.

If we would commit to higher standards of holiness

in our lives, we could eliminate some of the enemy’s

ammunition and thwart some of his plans against us.

Our lifestyle choices would help form shields around

us Satan could not penetrate.

If I were to offer you a taste of strychnine or arsenic,

I am sure you would refuse it. Well, the world offers

us poison all the time. These substances may not

harm us physically or make us ill, but they destroy

our hearts and minds and steal our enjoyment of

everyday life. Think about that the next time you flip

through television channels, surf the Internet, choose

music, select reading material, or wonder which

movie ticket to buy. Satan, working through the

world’s system, is pouring out poison constantly, and

often we just sit by passively taking in whatever is

being offered. I know I have said this many times in

this book, but let me say one more time: Make wise

choices!

CHAPTER 15

Be Healthy

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you

don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what

you’d rather not.”

—MARK TWAIN

Picture this: A young mother and talented business

executive groggily reaches to turn off her alarm clock

at 5:00 a.m. on a Monday morning. She groans at the

thought of another long and busy day, but tells

herself it takes two incomes to raise a family these

days. After several minutes of wishing she could take

the week off, she finally drags herself to the shower,

applies part of her makeup, and puts on a stylish

new pantsuit, which she bought to impress her

clients and co-workers and paid for with a credit

card that had an “over limit” fee the previous month.

She rouses her son and daughter, hoping they will

get up without having to be called again. They don’t.

In between making their lunches for school and

gathering their scattered books and papers, she

makes two more trips to their rooms, finally losing

her temper as she barks: “Get out of that bed right

this minute and get ready for school!” Her husband

suggests she should be more patient with them.

By the time the children arrive in the kitchen,

dressed for school, there’s no time for a healthy

breakfast. “Just give them donuts,” advises her

husband. “That’s what we eat.” She tells the children

to help themselves to donuts and puts a jug of orange

juice on the counter, hoping that will give them a

little vitamin C.

She rushes to get them to school, finishing her

makeup at stoplights, then screeching to a halt just as

the bell rings. On the way to her office, she stops at

the drive-through window at a local coffee shop and

orders a large cup of coffee and a pastry she can eat

while driving, because she didn’t have time to eat

breakfast at home.

Already tired, she sits down at her desk and wonders

where to begin dealing with the mountain of work

before her. After all, she says to herself, everything is

urgent. As her co-workers arrive, everyone who

passes by her office asks, “How was your weekend?”

She feels compelled to answer and to ask the same

question in return. Her assistant, who is supposed to

be a help and not a hindrance, shows up in tears. She

had a terrible break-up with her boyfriend over the

weekend. She’s preoccupied, unproductive, and

wishing she were somewhere else.

Monday-morning phone calls, e-mails, and little

“emergencies” interrupt the young executive’s

attempts to do what desperately needs to be done

that day. Her son forgot to ask her to sign his

permission slip for a trip to the fire station, so she

races to the school to do that. Returning to the office,

she discovers that her boss needs a report by noon,

but failed to mention it until now. Then her boss’s

boss calls from a business trip and impatiently asks

for information he had requested last week,

information she meant to give him—and would have

if something else hadn’t come up. Last week, she’d

even asked her assistant to gather the files she

needed and to remind her to get it done, but the

assistant forgot because she had become concerned

about her boyfriend.

She throws the information together and e-mails it to

her boss’s boss. It’s not the quality of work she is

capable of producing. She was too busy to do it right,

but tells herself she’ll do better next time. Soon, she

rushes out the door for a lunch meeting—the weekly

downtown gathering of up-and-coming

professionals. She doesn’t really have time to go and

almost doesn’t, but then she remembers that she

needs to network if she wants to climb the corporate

ladder.

After lunch, an overwhelming amount of work still

awaits her. She is about to begin working on a project

that is due by the end of the day but is called into an

“important” meeting where much is said and little is

accomplished.

She planned to leave the office promptly at 5:00 p.m.

to watch the last part of her daughter’s ballgame. But

a co-worker wants to discuss an important new

client, and before she knows it, 5:00 has come and

gone. Racing to her daughter’s game, she calls her

husband to make sure he is there. He isn’t, citing the

fact that he scheduled a spur-of-the-moment

business dinner because, “You said you were going to

be there.”

When she arrives at the school, her son and daughter

are waiting outside, the only two people in sight. She

starts to apologize for missing the game, but realizes

her apologies don’t mean much anymore. The

children climb into the car without a word, and stare

out the windows as they drive home.

“Mom, I’m hungry,” say both children. So she gets

them fast-food meals—and dessert, because she

wants to give them a little treat in an attempt to

compensate for missing the game.

Once the children are in bed that night, she briefly

turns on a news channel to find out what happened

in the world that day. Crises everywhere, she

observes, totally oblivious to the fact that her own

life is a crisis of its own.

She takes her laptop to the kitchen table to catch up

on the work she didn’t get done at her other office

that day. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees bills

that need paying, a birthday present that should have

been sent to her brother last Thursday, and a note to

return a call to her best friend, whom she hadn’t

seen in weeks. I’ll deal with all that tomorrow, she

promises herself.

Just before midnight, she stumbles into bed beside

her snoring husband. Five o’clock the next morning

seems to come quickly. So she groggily reaches to

turn off her alarm clock, and repeats the whole

routine all over again.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Can you relate to anything in the story about this

stressed-out woman? Whether you are male or

female, married or single, childless or with a house

full of children, working outside the home or inside

the home, I am sure you can understand the stress in

this woman’s life. Your stress comes from different

sources, but you can certainly “feel the pain” of

having too much to do in too little time, being

overcommitted, and feeling torn between desires,

obligations, and responsibilities.

This woman lacks everything she needs to be able to

enjoy her life. She doesn’t get enough rest; she is in

debt; she does not eat healthily; she is overworked

and under stress; she tries to do too much; she does

not have a deep, supportive relationship with her

spouse; she does not take pleasure in her children;

she does not exercise; and she neglects important

relationships.

How are you going to enjoy your life right now

and have strength for the years to come if you

are living every day at a high-stress level and if

you are not physically healthy?

Now, let’s think about your life. How are you going to

enjoy your life right now and have strength for the

years to come if you are living every day at a high-

stress level and if you are not physically healthy?

Stress and enjoyment are often mutually exclusive,

and I can assure you that you will have to reduce

your stress and improve your health if you want to

enjoy today and be ready to fully embrace tomorrow.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

I believe one of the major reasons many people do

not enjoy their lives is the simple fact that they do

not feel strong, healthy, and vibrant. They are tired,

sick, aching, or struggling with some other kind of

physical affliction.

Many times in my meetings, someone has asked me

to pray for physical healing. I do that as the Lord

leads, but often I am aware that what people really

need is to take personal responsibility for their

health and well-being. Often, their physical problems

can be solved by improving their health—eating

better, exercising, drinking more water, getting

enough sleep at night, or taking time for leisure,

recreation, and relaxation.

Personally, I have worked hard for many years. As I

grow older, I realize I cannot do everything I could

do years ago. For example, I must be very disciplined

about eating sweets because they affect my blood

sugar, which causes me to feel tired and lethargic. I

can eat them occasionally, but certainly not every

day.

Eating late at night is another no-no for me. In fact, I

have come to despise eating late at night because if I

do, I do not sleep well or feel well the next morning.

For that reason, I often say no to a get-together with

friends if it will mean a late night. Other times, I sit

with people while they eat and either just fellowship

and eat nothing or have only a small amount of food

for myself.

If you and I want to be healthy enough

to enjoy our lives, we may not be able to

do what everyone else does.

If you and I want to be healthy enough to enjoy our

lives, we may not be able to do what everyone else

does. There are certainly times when I would enjoy

staying up late at night, into the wee hours of the

next morning, watching movies or doing something

else fun. But I have discovered that not keeping a

regular bedtime makes me feel bad. It’s not even a

matter of getting a certain number of hours of sleep;

it’s about going to bed at the same time every night.

For example, if I went to bed at two o’clock in the

morning and slept for eight hours, I still would not

feel right. I need to keep a regular bedtime, and

perhaps doing that would help you too.

I have also learned that not feeling strong and

healthy has a tremendous effect on many areas of

my life, one of which is my ability to enjoy my daily

life. It sends my “joy level” plummeting. Since I know

these things, I am determined not to waste any more

days not enjoying them. I want to enjoy my life, just

as you want to enjoy yours. If I have to make some

changes to feel better so I can enjoy myself more,

then I’m willing to do so, because I believe joy is

important. I encourage you to do the same and to

make a priority of being healthy so you can enjoy the

abundant life God wants you to have.

Make choices that help you feel energetic so you

can thoroughly enjoy every moment you have left

of your time here on earth.

Paul prayed that the Philippians would learn to

choose and prize what was excellent and of real

value, and that is my prayer for you (see Philippians

1:10). Make choices that help you feel energetic so

you can thoroughly enjoy every moment you have

left of your time here on earth.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

The first step toward improving your health is to

realize how important it is. After all, you only have

one physical body and it has to last a lifetime! More

importantly, your body is a gift from God to you; it

houses your spirit, which is where the Spirit of God

dwells within you; and it is the vehicle that enables

you to enjoy everything God has made and to do the

things He asks you to do.

The apostle Paul wrote, “Do you not know that your

body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy

Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have

received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own”

(1 Corinthians 6:19). Let me urge you to begin taking

better care of your “temple” today. “How do I do

that?” you wonder. I’m glad you asked. Here are four

specific disciplines you can incorporate or improve

in your life to get you started down the road to

increased physical health and less stress. For more

specific information and greater detail on this

subject, I recommend my book Look Great, Feel

Great.

DRINK MORE WATER

Do you know water comprises two-thirds of your

body? That fact alone should encourage you to

increase your water intake! Water is so crucial to

physical health because the human body must have

adequate fluid to function—fluid that surrounds our

cells, fluid within our cells, fluid that facilitates waste

elimination, fluid that takes energy to the brain and

to our muscles, and fluid that helps our immune

systems operate properly.

A person who weighs 140 pounds should get 70

ounces of water per day, while someone who

weighs 180 should drink 90 ounces.

How much water do you need each day? One simple

but proven formula says to take your weight and

divide it in half, then drink that many ounces of

water per day. A person who weighs 140 pounds

should get 70 ounces of water per day, while

someone who weighs 180 should drink 90 ounces. To

make this easy I suggest getting a glass or a water

bottle that holds a certain number of ounces, and

filling it as many times as necessary to get the

recommended amount of water your body needs

each day.

EAT HEALTHILY

Food is the fuel that helps your body go, so a

balanced, nutritious diet is critical to good health. As

a general rule, a variety of vibrant colors on your

plate at mealtime is a good sign. It should mean you

are eating fruits and vegetables, which give your

body vitamins and antioxidants and cannot be

overestimated for their value to your health. Eat

them often!

Do your best to avoid refined carbohydrates (foods

made with white flour, potatoes, sugars, or other

sweeteners). Make sure the fat in your diet is

unsaturated instead of saturated or trans-fat. The

way to do this is to reduce your intake of red meat,

dairy products, and processed foods prepared with

hydrogenated oils, and to eat more fish, chicken or

turkey, olive oil (extra-virgin), nuts, and avocados.

Also, eat brown rice instead of white, and eat whole-

grain or multi-grain breads instead of white breads.

Finally, do not overeat by piling large portions of

food on your plate. Take smaller portions, eat more

slowly, and discipline yourself to stop eating before

you have “overdone it.”

EXERCISE

In addition to building strength, increasing

endurance, helping you lose weight, and contributing

to good form and muscle tone, exercise is probably

the best thing a person can do to reduce stress.

Experts tell us simply walking about thirty minutes

per day produces significant results in our bodies.

Working out with weights is excellent, as is using a

treadmill or other machines that give you a good

cardio workout. There are so many ways to exercise

—walking, running, swimming, biking, hiking,

tennis, golf, team sports, and other activities—that

most people should be able to find something to do

and enjoy on a regular basis. The key to exercise is to

do it regularly, at least three to four times per week,

and to keep yourself challenged so you will continue

to reap real benefits.

The key to exercise is to do it regularly, at least three

to four times per week, and to keep yourself

challenged so you will continue to reap real benefits.

REST

No one was created to work or function at an intense

pace all the time. Our bodies and minds need rest

and relaxation. We need to take breaks; we need to

have fun; we need to do so on a regular basis. We

also need to get enough sleep and to be sure our

sleep is high quality, not restless or interrupted.

While we sleep, our minds are “turned off,” but our

bodies are busy performing important functions that

refresh and refuel us for the next day. Sleeping at

night is like taking your car to the shop for a tune-up.

Like your car, your body will also function better

when it gets proper maintenance. Sleep gives your

brain an opportunity to unload stress; it enables your

body to repair injury; and it allows your blood to

deliver a fresh supply of energy to your muscles.

Lack of sleep leads to poor coordination, reduced

response time, and mistakes. On the other hand, a

well-rested person is alert, focused, and able to think

clearly. Sometimes, a problem that seems

monumental when we are tired can be solved easily

after a good night’s sleep.

Plenty of water, healthy eating, exercise, and

adequate rest will combine to reduce your stress and

improve your physical health, which will work

wonders for your ability to enjoy your life today and

be strong and healthy for your future.

In my life, I have felt bad and I have felt good, and I

can tell you good is much better!

CHAPTER 16

Keep It Simple

“In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the

supreme excellence is simplicity.”

—HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Years ago, I lived a very complicated life. For

example, there were many times I wanted to have

people to our home on the weekends for times of

recreation, relaxation, and enjoying each other’s

company. More often than not, though, when these

get-togethers were over, I ended up exhausted! Why?

Because I did not know how to live a simple life. I say

my life was complicated, but the truth is, I

complicated my life. My approach to life needed to

change so I could enjoy it.

The ideas I had started out simple. Dave and I would

ask one or two couples over for a simple outdoor

barbecue. But then I added others to the invitation

list because I did not want anyone’s feelings to be

hurt. Before the group arrived, I decided the house

had to be immaculate, so I cleaned everything in

sight. I thought the lawn needed to be perfectly

manicured, so I made sure it was. Then I wanted new

patio furniture—or at least a fresh coat of paint on

the old furniture. Then I made sure all the children

looked as though they had just stepped off the pages

of a magazine. Of course, I also felt I needed to be

wearing just the right outfit and to have every hair in

place.

When it came to preparing the food, I started with an

easy menu—something like hamburgers on the grill,

a bowl of baked beans, some potato chips, and a

store-bought dessert. But I always changed my plans,

because I wanted to impress my guests. I bought

steaks instead of hamburgers and spent considerable

time making homemade potato salad and enough

additional side dishes to feed a small army. Where

drinks were concerned, I did not believe iced tea,

water, coffee, and lemonade were sufficient, so I

made sure we also offered four or five different

kinds of soda pop. By the time my guests arrived, I

was too tired to enjoy them and at times found

myself resenting them for being there!

Even during their visit, I kept working. If they

walked into my kitchen, I practically followed them

with a broom to make sure they did not track crumbs

onto my carpets. If they put down a glass, I snatched

it up and washed it. Then I had the nerve to resent

everyone else because I was working so hard and

they were enjoying themselves! I ended up hosting

parties I didn’t enjoy, for people we were not even

close to, and with food we couldn’t afford. I was an

expert when it came to complicating simple things.

After many experiences such as the one I just

described, I came to a point in my life where I knew

God was dealing with me about simplicity. I began to

realize more and more how complicated my life was

—and that it was my fault. I also realized life was not

likely to change. If I wanted things to be different

and life to be simpler so I could enjoy it, I would have

to do the changing.

If I want things to be different and life

to be simpler so I can enjoy it, I will have

to do the changing.

Not only were my actions and activities complicated,

my thought processes were complicated. My

relationship with God was complicated because I was

trying to earn His love and acceptance instead of

simply receiving it by faith. Everything about my life

was complicated. I thought I had a lot of complex

problems, but I was actually complicating things for

myself with my approach to life, people, and

everyday situations. I was complicated on the inside,

so naturally, everything about my life externally

seemed complicated too.

THE GOOD PORTION

You may be familiar with the biblical story of Mary

and Martha. These two women were sisters—and

complete opposites. One day, Jesus went to visit them

at their house. The Bible tells us Mary stopped

everything and sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to His

every word. In contrast, “Martha [overly occupied

and too busy] was distracted with much serving”

(Luke 10:40).

She was so busy running around the house doing

things she actually said to Jesus, “Lord, is it nothing

to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell

her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part

along with me]!” (v. 40).

Jesus responded, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious

and troubled about many things; there is need of

only one or but a few things. Mary has chosen the

good portion [that which is to her advantage], which

shall not be taken away from her” (vv. 41, 42).

As Jesus noted, Martha was worried, anxious, and

unable to relax in His presence. Mary, on the other

hand, was perfectly content sitting and listening to

Him. Mary took a simple, relaxed, focused approach

to Jesus’ visit, while Martha insisted upon

complicating things and trying to do too much.

When I read this story, I think about how similar to

Martha I used to be. I ran around anxiously, trying to

impress God and everyone else with my diligence

and my accomplishments. During that time, I was

excessively concerned about what other people

thought of me. I did not have the security I have now,

so I felt better about myself when I was working—as

though I had worth as a person only when I was

accomplishing something. Like Martha, I resented

people like Mary, who enjoyed themselves.

I had never been taught the value of relaxation and

fun. As a child, I was abused by my father, and I did

not really have the opportunity to enjoy the freedom

of being a child. Everything in my life was serious

and difficult for as long as I could remember, and

because I felt all of life was hard, I thought everyone

should be responsible, serious, and working as hard

as I worked.

Certainly, there are times we need to work. The Bible

is clear about the virtues and rewards of honest

work (see Proverbs 10:4; 14:23). We also know that

when we do things that bear fruit, God is glorified.

But we must not work so much that our lives become

unbalanced and stop being enjoyable.

We must not work so much that our lives become

unbalanced and stop being enjoyable.

Martha’s attitude has its virtues, but so does Mary’s.

In their respective responses to Jesus’ visit to their

home, Mary made a better choice than Martha. In

my life, I had “too much Martha and not enough

Mary.” I loved Jesus, but I had not learned He is not

impressed by our running around trying to

accomplish what we think needs to be done. He is

looking for hearts that want to stop for a moment, be

at peace, sit at His feet, and enjoy His presence.

IT’S EASY

One of the best ways to define the word simple is

with the word easy. In many cases, these words are

synonyms. Sometimes when we say something is

simple, we mean it is easy to do. During my

“complicated days,” nothing about me or about my

life was easy. Dave, however, was a different story.

Everything about his life seemed easy. As a person,

he was simple, straightforward, and uncomplicated.

He truly enjoyed his life, while I was miserable. Dave

is still this way, and over time, I have become this

way too.

One of Dave’s secrets was he learned to “cast his

care” upon the Lord (see 1 Peter 5:7), while I always

held on to my concerns and let them churn inside me

like a brewing storm. I felt “responsible” to fix

everything and had not yet learned the secret of

trusting God. While Dave did what he needed to do

and was “calm, cool, and collected,” I fretted and

fumed all the time, and stayed constantly upset and

worried. I felt crushed by the weight of all the

responsibility I thought I carried. Being responsible

is an admirable and godly quality, but I had a false

sense of responsibility. I did what I could do and then

wore myself out trying to do what I could not do. I

not only tried to do my part, but to do God’s part too.

At times, I resented Dave because life seemed so easy

for him, while it was so difficult for me. He was free,

and I felt stuck on a hamster wheel—running as fast

as I could, using all my energy but never getting

anywhere. I was stressed and striving, never seeming

to be able to make any real progress in my life even

though I tried very hard. When God first began

dealing with me about simplifying my life, I was

unaware of just how complicated I had made things.

As I mentioned earlier in this chapter, most of the

habits that kept me complicated were in my mind, in

the way I thought about things and approached the

situations I faced. These thought patterns developed

over time, so I had many bad habits to break, many

new ones to develop, and much to learn.

Are you possibly complicating things in your life by

the way you approach them? Could you simplify your

life by trusting God more? Are you a perfectionist

who stresses out over little details nobody notices but

you? Do you have a false sense of responsibility, as I

did? Are you trying to solve problems that are not

yours to solve? If your answer to any of these

questions is yes, you can begin today to simplify your

life.

A SIMPLE RELATIONSHIP

The Bible does not include many scriptures or much

direct teaching about simplicity. As I pondered this, I

finally realized the entire New Covenant—the

relationship we have with God through Jesus Christ—

is very simple. It is so beautiful and simple that those

with complicated minds often have difficulty

believing it. God sent Jesus to earth to live as a man

and to understand people. Jesus died for our sins,

taking upon Himself the punishment our sins

demand. He paid the debt of our sins. He rose from

the dead and has provided a way for us to live

wonderful, joyful, peaceful, fruitful, amazing lives.

He did all of this freely and willingly, because of His

awesome love for us.

The entire New Covenant—the relationship

we have with God through Jesus Christ—

is very simple.

I could elaborate extensively about what Jesus has

done for us, but the point is that His work is not

complicated. It’s profound, it’s beautiful, it’s amazing,

but it’s simple. Even a child can understand and

believe it: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible

tells me so.” All of life in Christ is simple. It requires

simple faith, simple prayer, and a simple, faith-filled

approach to every situation.

All of life in Christ is simple. It requires simple

faith, simple prayer, and a simple, faith-filled

approach to every situation.

The enemy tries to complicate the gospel and the

Christian life in believers’ minds in order to keep us

separated from God. When we return to the

simplicity of the gospel and seek to walk in it, we are

working with God and against the enemy, who hates

simplicity, because he knows the power and joy it

brings. If you pay close attention, you will recognize

how the devil tries to complicate your life. Resist him

by embracing simplicity.

Years ago, as I studied simplicity, I looked for books

on the subject and could not find many. As a result, I

had to rely on the Holy Spirit to teach me what I

needed to know. He led me to pay attention to what

was going on in my life and inside me when I found

myself anxious or unhappy. Many times, the reason

was that I was complicating a situation.

For example, Dave and I once had an argument not

long before we needed to go to sleep. As I have noted,

Dave is an easygoing person who has no trouble

“forgiving and forgetting” things and moving past

them. We both said what we felt we needed to say,

and from Dave’s perspective, the matter was closed.

He lay down and went to sleep.

I, however, went into my home office to stew over

what had happened. “How did we get into this

argument?” I asked. “And how can I make sure we

never argue again?” With my questions and

reasoning, I began to complicate a situation Dave had

already forgotten.

Replaying our argument in my mind and asking

questions about it was not helpful or realistic. A

realistic approach would have been to acknowledge

the fact that Dave and I are two different people with

different opinions. Realism would admit we were not

likely to have years and years of married life without

ever having another disagreement.

Instead of assessing the situation honestly, I was

being idealistic. I wanted to make sure we never

argued again; I wanted our relationship to be perfect.

People who are idealistic usually do not enjoy life.

They want everything to be perfect, and when it does

not turn out that way, they become disappointed.

The night of the argument, I was determined to find

answers to my questions. The longer I stayed up,

supposedly “seeking God,” the more frustrated I

became. Finally, about one o’clock in the morning, I

said, “Lord, what am I going to do?”

I heard clearly in my heart, Why don’t you just go to

bed?

That was exactly what Dave did! He spoke his mind

and then let go of the issue. Not me. I thought about

it, wrestled with it, questioned, and worried about it

for hours. The next morning, Dave was fine, and I

was exhausted. Dave’s simple approach brought him

much better results than my complicated approach

yielded me.

SIMPLIFY YOUR DESIRES

One of the dynamics that really complicates our lives,

often without our realizing it, is the fact we can be so

driven and consumed by our desires. Unfulfilled

desires can even torment us—and that certainly

keeps us from enjoying our lives. Most of us can list

many things we would like and if we are not careful,

we will begin striving to attain them in a way that is

out of balance. When we cannot reach them, we will

begin to lose our peace and our joy, and become

frustrated, disappointed, and upset. We would be

much better off if we would choose to simplify or

adjust our desires instead of continuing to struggle to

get things only God can provide. I am not suggesting

we should not be aggressive in trying to reach our

goals, but when we lose our joy and peace because

we cannot make something happen, then it is time to

pray and cast our care on the Lord.

James 4:2 states, “You do not have, because you do

not ask.” We need to ask God for what we want, and

trust Him to give it to us in His timing, in His way. In

the meantime, we need to be content with what we

do have.

We would be much better off if we would

choose to simplify or adjust our desires

instead of continuing to struggle to get

things only God can provide.

There are two ways to handle our unfulfilled desires.

One is by working to acquire what we want; the

other is to ask ourselves if what we want is that

important after all. “More” is not always better

because the more we acquire, the more we must

maintain and care for. Sometimes, with many

possessions, we can lose our joy because we are so

“caught up in keeping up” our belongings and these

things begin to have us instead of our having them.

Occasionally, I go through my house and give away

some of my possessions. I do not enjoy my home

when I collect too many things I don’t really need. I

don’t like to feel that I am living in the midst of

clutter, and I can always find someone who can make

good use of things that are no longer blessing me. I’m

sure the same is true for you. The more cluttered

your home is, the more time it will take and the more

difficult it will be to keep it clean. Clean it out on a

regular basis and you will find cleaning it up is much

easier!

In Psalm 37:4, David wrote, “Delight yourself also in

the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret

petitions of your heart.” Seek God first; desire Him

more than anything else; and you will find He will

bless you with what is right for you to have at the

right time.

If you are unhappy and are not enjoying life because

of something you want but do not have, I encourage

you to not allow that desire to dominate you. Trust

God to hear your requests and answer them in ways

that exceed your best desires and expectations.

Trust God to hear your requests

and answer them in ways that exceed

your best desires and expectations.

SIMPLIFY YOUR DECISIONS

Life can become complicated when people do not

know how to make decisions and stick with them.

James 5:12 reads, “But above all [things], my

brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth

or by any other oath; but let your yes be [a simple]

yes, and your no be [a simple] no, so that you may

not sin and fall under condemnation.” In this verse,

James is basically saying, “Make a decision. Just say

yes or no; and don’t keep changing your mind.”

We often labor over the choices and options before

us when, actually, we just need to make a decision

and let it stand. For example, when you stand in

front of your closet in the morning looking at all of

your clothes, just choose something and put it on.

Don’t go back and forth until you make yourself late

for work!

When you get ready to go out to eat, pick a restaurant

and go. Don’t become so confused that you feel there

is no one place that will satisfy you. Sometimes I

would like the coffee from restaurant A, the salad

from restaurant B, my favorite chicken dish from

restaurant C, and dessert from restaurant D.

Obviously, I cannot have everything I want at the

same time, so I need to pick one of those places and

eat there. I can go to the others later.

Let me encourage you to start making decisions

without second-guessing yourself or worrying about

the choices you make. Don’t be double-minded or

wishy-washy, because doubting your decisions after

you make them will steal the enjoyment from

everything you do. Make the best decisions you can,

and trust God with the results. Don’t be anxious or

afraid of being wrong. If your heart is right and you

make a decision not in accordance with God’s will,

He will forgive you and help you move on.

Be decisive. Whatever you need to do in life, just do it

—and keep it simple.

CHAPTER 17

Be Creative

“Be brave enough to live creatively.”

—ALAN ALDA

As the old saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life.”

One way to be sure to enjoy today and look forward

to the future is to add a healthy dose of creativity and

variety to your daily life. I realize the pressures of

work, family, and other commitments often pull you

toward a routine in which you simply try to “get it all

done,” but I want to encourage you not to let the

routine become too routine. Too many days of doing

the same things the same way at the same time can

drain the joy from your life and lead to monotony.

You only live once, so don’t be drawn into a

mundane, ordinary existence. Add some spice to

your life by being creative and do all you can to keep

your life fresh, vibrant, and fun. Live life

passionately because life without passion is not

much life at all. I have written extensively on this

subject, and I encourage you to read more about it in

my book I Dare You.

YOU ARE CREATIVE

All of us know people we would refer to as

“creative.” They can paint, draw, write, take beautiful

photographs, compose or play music, or decorate.

Usually, when we think of creative people, we think

of those who are artistically gifted.

But I believe everyone is creative in some way. We

may not all know what to do with a piano or a

paintbrush, but God has given each of us a measure

of creativity. For example, a businessman’s creativity

may express itself through unusual distribution

systems or the ability to form successful strategic

partnerships that never occurred to anyone else. A

graduate student’s creativity may lie in the ability to

analyze a work of literature or a historical event

from a perspective not explored before. A

salesperson may demonstrate creativity by thinking

of new and different ways people can use the

product he sells. A teacher’s creativity will be seen as

she helps one student learn by listening to stories,

while realizing another will learn better by looking

at pictures.

Creativity expresses itself in many wonderful ways

from one person to the next. God is infinitely

creative, and He designed every person on earth

with some level of creativity. We all have a need, a

desire, and an ability to be creative and to enjoy

freshness and variety.

God is infinitely creative, and He designed every

person on earth with some level of creativity.

WE CRAVE CREATIVITY

Our God-given need and desire for creativity is the

reason we become restless, frustrated, or bored

when we have too much “sameness” in our activities,

relationships, work, or surroundings. There is

nothing wrong with sometimes feeling we just need a

change. In fact, most of us fight boredom at times; we

simply grow weary of doing “the same old thing” day

after day, week after week. We often get into ruts and

routines and become stuck in these patterns. We

want something new and fresh, but then again, we

also feel safe with what is familiar or comfortable.

Some of us are brave enough to make changes in our

lives readily and we really enjoy trying something

new, while others want to do something different but

struggle to identify what they should do or hesitate to

do it out of fear. They would rather be safe,

comfortable, and bored than excited and living on

the edge.

Some people keep the same job, live in the same

house, or socialize with the same friends all of their

lives not because they really want to, but because it is

comfortable and familiar. They may hate their jobs

and feel completely unfulfilled, but the thought of

doing anything else is extremely frightening. Their

needs in a home may have changed, but they are

reluctant to move because they are comfortable in

their old house, even if they do not need the full

basement they remodeled for their teenagers twenty-

five years ago or if they need to have a bedroom on

the first floor instead of having all bedrooms

upstairs. They may think they would enjoy some new

acquaintances but do not pursue any out of fear of

rejection. They may have dreams about all kinds of

changes they wish they could incorporate in their

lives, but they do not fully embrace or embark upon

the dreams because they fear failure.

We all hunger for newness and diversity, and the

reason for this is that God created us for variety.

We are made to require freshness in our lives.

No matter what holds people back from making

creative, new decisions in their lives, I have never

met anyone who enjoys being bored. Some people

choose boredom, but they do not take pleasure in it.

We all hunger for newness and diversity, and the

reason for this is that God created us for variety. We

are made to require freshness in our lives. I do not

advocate jumping out in the middle of every

opportunity or idea that comes along, but I do

believe there are times when we need to step out of

the ordinary, out of the routine, out of the comfort

zone, and into new things.

There are times when we don’t need to make major

changes; we simply need to add a little spice to what

we are doing—just as we sometimes want to add a

little seasoning to food that is otherwise bland and

tasteless. Sometimes something as simple as trying a

new hairstyle can make a difference.

I believe God gives us warning signs that may

manifest as mild boredom. This is His way of letting

us know we need to change things up a little. There

are times when I simply feel I want to sit in a

different place in my home to drink my morning

coffee. A different view is refreshing for a while, and

after a couple of days I am ready to go back to my

usual place. If we will pay attention to this need for

change, we can avoid serious trouble. Our emotional

makeup needs change. Denying ourselves necessary

variety because of laziness, fear, or insecurity—or for

any other reason—is dangerous. If we do so, we are

headed for a great loss of enjoyment. But if we will

be creative and incorporate some variety in our lives,

we will find ourselves able to enjoy today and look

forward to tomorrow.

DON’T OVERDO IT

While our desires for new experiences and

opportunities is healthy and stems from our God-

given desire for variety and diversity, we must

remember God’s Word also encourages us to be

content (see Philippians 4:11; Hebrews 13:5). We

need to find a way to balance being satisfied with

longing for something different, because balance is

the key to an enjoyable life full of both creativity and

contentment.

First Peter 5:8 encourages us: “Be well balanced

(temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious

at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams

around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking

someone to seize upon and devour.” In this verse, we

see that balance is very important in our lives. When

we throw ourselves off balance by doing too much of

one thing and not enough of another, we open a door

for the enemy.

The Word of God instructs us to do all things in

moderation (see 1 Corinthians 9:25). This is another

way of encouraging us to be balanced. Without

balance, we can end up in trouble. Physical sickness,

mental and emotional pressure, relational problems,

and certainly loss of joy can all be the result of

unbalanced living.

Physical sickness, mental and emotional

pressure, relational problems, and certainly loss

of joy can all be the result of unbalanced living.

Any good thing can become bad if allowed to get out

of balance. For example, a friend heard that vitamin

E was good for the human body, so she took it by the

handful. But she did not take it in moderation and

she became ill because it thinned her blood

excessively. Another friend discovered she loved the

taste of Balance protein bars, and ate so many she

became allergic to them. We joked that she got out-of-

balance with her Balance bars. Our flesh gravitates

toward extremes, and, left unrestrained, it will cause

problems. The flesh cannot be allowed to have or do

everything it wants.

When I find a restaurant I like, one that has a certain

menu item I really enjoy, my natural temptation is to

go to that restaurant and eat that dish until I grow

tired of it and never want to eat there again. But if I

will discipline myself to some variety, and eat that

particular dish occasionally instead of several days

in a row, I can enjoy that restaurant indefinitely.

Sameness ushers us into staleness. When we do the

same things too often, we stop enjoying activities we

once thoroughly enjoyed. But variety ensures our

continued, long-term ability to enjoy the things that

give us pleasure because it keeps them fresh. Even

when we prefer one thing over several others, we are

wise to incorporate them all, just for the sake of

variety and the benefits it brings to our lives.

This is true in many areas of life. I find if I spend too

much time with people I really enjoy and delight in,

and don’t spend enough time with others, a staleness

eventually comes into our relationship. After we

have been together too long, we reach a point where

we do not enjoy each other’s company as much as we

once did. We travel with a specific crew when we do

conferences and crusades in third-world countries.

These trips are long, and the team may be together

for as long as three weeks. We are in the airplane

together; we eat our meals together; and we ride in

the car together as we travel to our appointments.

We all really like each other, but by the time a trip is

over none of us wants to get together for quite a

while!

Dave and I really love each other, and we have a

great relationship. We are comfortable with one

another, and that is good, because we spend a lot of

time together. We not only live together, we also

work together, so we spend much more time together

than the average married couple. As much as we

enjoy each other, we also need time apart—time for

ourselves and time with other people. He needs to

get out and play golf with his friends, and I need to

fellowship and have lunch with some of my friends.

This kind of variety is good for both of us as

individuals and for our marriage.

We need diversity in life.

It keeps the ordinary fresh!

We need diversity in life. It keeps the ordinary fresh!

GIVE YOURSELF SOME OPTIONS

Years ago, one of the first ways in which God began

to deal with me regarding boredom and sameness

dealt with the color of my pantyhose. That may make

you chuckle, but you see, I had worn “suntan”

pantyhose for years. I never wore any other kind—

always the same brand and the same color.

When I noticed other ladies wearing black, navy

blue, cream, or even light pink pantyhose or nylons, I

liked them, but I still kept buying suntan. God used

this very ordinary and simple example to show me I

was sticking with what I thought was safe, even

though I really wanted to venture out and wear

something different once in a while.

“Suntan” probably did look better than any other

color with most of my clothes, but a little variety

occasionally would have added some spice to my life

and kept me from being bored with my outfits.

God uses many of the simple things we deal with in

everyday life to teach us vital lessons about ourselves

if we will only listen to Him. I began to realize

through this one little incident how stuck in

sameness I was. In my heart, I wanted to venture out,

but the safety of sameness was holding me in

boredom. The pantyhose situation caused me to

begin looking at other areas of my life and helped me

to break into new expressions of creativity and

freedom in many ways.

Even science recognizes the benefits of variety.

Medicine has proven many people are

allergic to the foods they eat most often.

Even science recognizes the benefits of variety.

Medicine has proven many people are allergic to the

foods they eat most often. Part of their cure is to vary

their food choices and introduce new foods into their

diets.

A friend of mine once dealt with this condition. To

rid her body of allergens, doctors instructed her to

eliminate from her diet for twenty-one days the

foods to which she was allergic. After three weeks,

she could try adding them back into her diet, but

only occasionally, in some instances, only once every

four days, depending on the severity of her allergies

to each food.

God has created even our bodies to demand variety.

If we don’t give them the variety they need and

crave, then they rebel. In essence they say, “I can’t

handle this. You’re giving me too much of this thing,

therefore, I’m going to get sick or have some kind of

negative reaction every time you feed it to me.”

Sickness, pain, or other adverse physical reactions

are a body’s way of saying, “Something’s not right.”

Many times, all that is wrong is that we are out of

balance—eating too much of one food and not

enough of another.

Perhaps you are not resting enough or laughing

enough. Maybe you are working too hard. Too much

stress, frequent emotional upset, and a lack of

variety can affect your health adversely.

Where creativity and variety are concerned, God

used some very simple things like pantyhose and

eating habits to get my attention, but the principle of

balance, moderation, creativity, variety, and diversity

can be applied in many aspects of life. Once you

understand how important these things are, you can

apply them to relationships, spending, eating, work

habits, dress standards, entertainment, and any

other part of your life in which you may begin to feel

the need for a change.

EASY VARIETY

Adding variety and creativity to your life does not

have to be expensive or complicated. If you want to

do something different in the evening, take your

family for an outing. If you have young children,

they might enjoy riding in the car and seeing the

sights outside their windows. Just thirty minutes may

be all you need. Or, go out and get a cup of coffee.

Yes, you could make it at home, but you might not

have as much fun and you would not be able to enjoy

the atmosphere of the coffeehouse. Go for a walk.

Ride a bicycle or watch children play at a park.

During the holidays, take a ride around your

neighborhood and look at the colorful Christmas

lights on various houses.

If you have a big, all-day project in front of you, plan

to take a few short breaks as you work toward its

completion. Walk outside for a few minutes if the

weather is nice, then have a glass of lemonade or

iced tea. If you see your neighbors, strike up a

conversation with them, or at least say a friendly,

“Hello.” Take a mental break by getting away from

the project at hand for a short time. You must never

lose sight of your goal, but short breaks, which I call

“mini-vacations,” can make all the difference in your

productivity and in how you feel about the project.

If you have a big, all-day project in front of you,

plan to take a few short breaks as you work

toward its completion.

GO AHEAD AND TRY

As you have read this chapter, maybe you have been

inspired to make some changes in your life. Perhaps

you even have a great desire to do so, but you are

hesitant to undertake them because of fear. Let me

encourage you to not be afraid to act on the God-

given desires in your heart. Go ahead, give them a

try. If you make a mistake, it won’t be the end of the

world. If you fail, it’s no problem; at least you tried.

Let me encourage you to not grow older and wish

you made different decisions, embraced

opportunities for change, or allowed yourself new

experiences. I do not want you to look back and be

sad, wondering what could have been. I can promise

you, you will not enjoy everything you try, but at

least you will have the personal experience of

knowing. You won’t have to live your whole life

hearing about what everyone else is doing and

wondering what it would be like.

For years one of my favorite eating places was an

Oriental restaurant a friend and I found one day. We

heard it was very good, but we were not able to find

any specific information about its location. We even

discussed trying to locate it several times previously,

but each time, we decided not to.

Then one day, we were feeling adventurous, so we

took the sketchy information we had and decided to

risk getting lost in order to find the place. We tried—

and we found it! As a result of our willingness to

make the effort, we enjoyed eating there for years.

I am not advocating foolishness, but I do encourage

you to find the balance between living in fear and

living with wisdom. I would have been unwise to

start out after dark by myself looking for that

restaurant with no phone in my car. But it was

daytime; I had a friend with me; and we had a cell

phone. Basically, the only danger we faced was the

possibility of getting lost and having to ask someone

how to get home.

In matters big and small, be creative, be

adventurous, stay fresh and vibrant, and add a

little variety—the spice of life—to every day.

Let me encourage you to be creative and

adventurous in your life. Do not become trapped in

routines or allow yourself to become “stale.” In

matters big and small, be creative, be adventurous,

stay fresh and vibrant, and add a little variety—the

spice of life—to every day.

CHAPTER 18

Have A Seat

“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it

is concentrated strength.”

—EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON

One of the secrets of enjoying today and embracing

tomorrow is learning how to wait. I do not mean

simply passing time or wasting time; I mean learning

to wait well. There will be many times in your life

when you feel you are in a “waiting room.” You know

you have an appointment with destiny, but it seems

to be a long time coming. You wait and you wait, but

no one calls your name; you do not move to the next

step or make any progress toward your dream. You

simply wait.

How you handle this time of waiting, even though it

may be difficult, is critical to your current life and to

your future. In fact, you will probably spend more of

your time waiting on the fulfillment of the dreams

God has given you for your life than you will

receiving them, so developing the ability to wait

patiently and expectantly is very important. The

culmination of our dreams and goals can occur in a

moment, but we often wait for them for years. The

attitude with which we wait determines our level of

enjoyment.

James 5:7, 8 gives us valuable instruction about

waiting well: “So be patient, brethren, [as you wait]

till the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits

expectantly for the precious harvest from the land.

[See how] he keeps up his patient [vigil] over it until

it receives the early and late rains. So you also must

be patient.” Just as a farmer has to wait for a harvest

after he plants a seed, you will also have times of

waiting after God plants seeds of dreams or desires

in your heart.

When we are waiting for the fulfillment

of a promise, there is a purifying work that

must be done in our lives to equip us for

what God has put in our hearts.

When we are waiting for the fulfillment of a promise,

there is a purifying work that must be done in our

lives to equip us for what God has put in our hearts.

We must be prepared, and preparation is a process

that requires time. It cannot happen any other way,

so we need to learn to wait well. Learning to wait

well simply means learning to wait with a good

attitude that trusts God. True patience is not merely

the ability to wait; it is the way we think and act

while we are waiting.

Many times, the reasons we must wait are connected

to our attitudes. If we tend to become jealous of

others who already have what we are waiting for, if

we have “pity parties” and focus excessively on

ourselves and our lives, if we allow ourselves

extreme emotional ups and downs, or if we complain

about how long we have to wait—then we are not

demonstrating godly attitudes. These attitudes and

similar ones are the very things that must be dealt

with and worked out of us before we can receive

God’s promises and handle His blessings with

maturity. I have realized that my attitude is more

important to God than my getting what I want. He

knows if I have a good attitude, I can be joyful no

matter my circumstances. That kind of stability is His

will for each of us.

If we understand that waiting is an important

discipline and learn to wait with positive attitudes,

we can actually enjoy waiting periods and learn the

lessons we need to learn during times of delay. Good

attitudes can even make our waiting periods shorter.

The sooner we learn the valuable lessons God wants

to teach us, the earlier we may graduate and begin

enjoying what we have waited for.

The inability to wait well is one of the major reasons

people do not enjoy their everyday lives. They are so

focused on where they are going that they do not

enjoy the journey that gets them there. They allow

themselves to become so consumed with tomorrow

they completely miss today. Many of these people

never enter the fullness of what God has for them.

They never see the fulfillment of their dreams and

visions simply because they don’t understand the

importance of waiting well and enjoying their

journeys.

I want you to make the most of today as you move

toward a great tomorrow. One of the best ways to

do that is to learn to wait well.

I don’t want you to be one of these people. I want you

to make the most of today as you move toward a

great tomorrow. One of the best ways to do that is to

learn to wait well.

WE HAD TO WAIT

When God called us to begin a television ministry in

1993, we accepted the call and the responsibility that

went with it. We knew we were to go on television,

but we had absolutely no idea how to go about it, so

before we could take even the first tiny step, we had

to wait on God for more specific direction.

As we began to investigate the process of televising

our ministry, we discovered we needed a producer—

and we had to wait for God to bring the right person

to us. He reminded us of a job application we

received just a few months earlier. A man who was

producing a television program for another ministry

submitted an application to us, and at the time, we

said, “File it. We aren’t on television. What would we

need with a television producer?” But God knew

what we did not, and He was providing a producer

for us before we even knew we needed one. We

hired the producer, and he began to research the

equipment we would need for a broadcast. We then

had to wait for all that information to be collected so

we could make wise and informed decisions about

purchasing what we needed.

In the meantime, we shared with our partners and

friends what God was leading us to do. We asked

them to give financially toward our television

ministry, and then we waited for the money to come

in. We finally purchased our equipment, and then

realized we needed cameramen to travel with us and

film our conferences, so we waited for God to

provide them.

Finally, it was time for us to begin approaching

television stations with the idea of airing our

programs. The station managers told us we needed a

pilot program before they could make any

commitments to us, so we waited for that to be

finished and then we waited to see if they liked it!

At last, after much waiting, we went on television. In

the early days, only a few stations carried our

broadcasts—and we had to wait to see what kind of

response we would receive before we knew whether

we could continue the television ministry or not.

God has since expanded our television ministry to

the point we broadcast all over the world. It started

with His speaking to our hearts His plan and desire

for us—and then it required a lot of diligence and an

enormous amount of patience. But we have seen

God’s faithfulness through it all; we have seen the

value of the waiting periods we endured; and we

have come to understand that without the wait, we

would not have been prepared to handle everything

that comes along with a television ministry.

Waiting is a fact of life—and it is a

necessary ingredient of success.

I hope you can see from this story that each phase of

life and of the fulfillment of dreams requires waiting.

Remember, James 5:7 exhorts us, “So be patient,

brethren, [as you wait.]” This verse does not say, “Be

patient if you have to wait,” but “Be patient as you

wait.” Waiting is a fact of life—and it is a necessary

ingredient of success.

GIVE IT TIME

God rarely places dreams in our hearts one day and

fulfills them the next. He begins by giving us a desire

for something, but He rarely gives us the exact

timing for when that desire will be fulfilled. There is

always a preparation period, and it is different for

different people. We should trust God’s timing and

enjoy the journey.

Genesis 15:1–5 tells the story of Abram (later called

Abraham) and a promise he received from God.

Abram had a very clear, definite word from God

about his future. Speaking of a son for very old

Abram and his very old wife, God said, “He who shall

come from your own body shall be your heir” (v. 4).

Abram knew what God promised, and he knew his

time was short as he considered his age and the fact

his wife was past her childbearing years and was

barren all her life. He had a promise from God, but

no word from God regarding when it would take

place. He had no choice but to have a seat in God’s

waiting room.

The same is often true for us. Once God speaks to us

or shows us something, we can become consumed

with it. If we are not careful, we can focus on it to the

point we do not carry out our other responsibilities

well or we become preoccupied and distracted by

our dreams. Instead of becoming obsessed with the

future and missing out on the blessings of every day

between your promise and its fulfillment, just relax

and give it time to come to pass.

CLOUDS OF CONFIRMATION

Have you ever become frustrated because you feel

you have waited so long and so patiently for

something that seems it will never come to pass? You

know intellectually you have not waited forever, but

you feel you have. You become weary, and you feel

you simply cannot wait any longer.

Since biblical times, God’s people

have had to learn to wait, and through

the centuries, He has sent messages of

encouragement at just the right moment.

This happens to all of us; it is often part of the

process we go through as we walk with God through

seasons of waiting and as we hold fast to the

promises we believe He wants to fulfill in our lives.

Since biblical times, God’s people have had to learn

to wait, and through the centuries, He has sent

messages of encouragement at just the right moment.

First Kings 18 tells the story of a man who had to

wait and stay faithful when it seemed nothing was

happening for him. In verse 1, God said to Elijah, “Go,

show yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain upon the

earth.” This was during a time of severe famine in

the land, a time when crops and animals desperately

needed water, but no water was available.

Shortly after Elijah received the promise of rain from

God, he encountered the prophets of Baal, and a

showdown ensued between these false prophets and

Elijah, a prophet of the God of Israel. After God

revealed Himself as the one, true God and Elijah did

away with the prophets of Baal, he told King Ahab,

“Go up, eat and drink, for there is the sound of

abundance of rain” (v. 41).

Elijah must have seemed silly with his declaration

that it was going to rain, because the sky was

perfectly clear. He sent his servant to look for storm

clouds six times, and each time, the sky remained

blue and sunny—not a rain cloud in sight. Elijah

must have been tempted to doubt God’s promise of

rain. Surely he became discouraged over having to

wait so long! But when he sent his servant to survey

the sky a seventh time, the servant returned with

good news: “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is

arising out of the sea” (v. 44). If you think about the

size of a man’s hand against the enormity of the sky,

it is tiny. But this miniscule sign gave Elijah the

encouragement he needed.

I watched God send “clouds” into my life for years as

I prepared for ministry. I had such a big vision, and I

was “pregnant” with a dream. The longer I waited for

opportunities, the more I was tempted to wonder if I

had really heard from God or if I had made it up. Just

when I was about ready to quit believing in God’s

promise, He would do something to keep my hope

alive. It may have been a small thing like Elijah’s

cloud, which was only the size of a man’s hand, but it

was enough to help me to not give up. I encourage

you to start looking for your clouds of confirmation.

Those years of waiting were very difficult, but very

necessary. I was growing, gaining wisdom and

experience, learning how to come under authority,

learning the Word I was called to preach. I was being

prepared for my promise, and God knew the

preparation time could not be cut short.

Having a promise from God or a dream

He has placed in our hearts is like being

pregnant with what God has said.

Having a promise from God or a dream He has

placed in our hearts is like being pregnant with what

God has said. He has planted a seed in us, and we

must enter a time of preparation. This time prepares

us to handle the thing God has promised to give us or

do for us. It is very much like the birth of a child.

First the seed is planted in the womb, then come nine

months of waiting, and finally, a baby is born. During

those nine months, so much takes place. The seed is

growing into maturity. The mother’s body goes

through many changes in preparation to give birth.

The parents accumulate the equipment necessary to

properly care for a child and prepare their home for

the baby’s arrival.

Most of the activity inside an expectant mother is not

visible to the natural eye. Of course, her growing

belly is evident to all, but many other important

developments are taking place within her, changes

no one can see. A similar dynamic takes place for us

spiritually concerning God’s promises to us. Just

because we cannot see or feel anything happening

does not mean He is not busy preparing us to receive

what He wants to give us. God does some of His best

work in secret, and He delights in surprising His

children.

I want to encourage you today to be on the lookout

for the “clouds of confirmation” in your life.

Whatever you are waiting for, don’t give up. Be

patient; stay faithful; and when you feel you simply

cannot wait any longer, look for a cloud. It may be

very small, but God wants to help you as you wait for

the fulfillment of His promises, which will come in

His perfect timing.

GOD’S TIMING, GOD’S PERSPECTIVE

One of the biggest mistakes we make as believers is

failing to remember that God’s timing rarely matches

our timing. We think and plan in temporal terms,

and God thinks and plans in eternal terms. What this

means is we are very interested in right now, and

God is much more interested in the long term. We

want what feels good right now, what produces

immediate results, but God is willing to be patient

and deliberate as He invests in us over a period of

time to produce results far better and longer lasting

than we can imagine.

Just as our children try to talk us into giving them

what they want right away, we often try to talk God

into immediately giving us what we want. He loves

us even more than we love our children, and He

loves us too much to give in to our pleadings. He

knows something born prematurely might struggle

to survive, so He waits until He knows everything is

properly prepared for the arrival of our dream.

God sees and understands what we do not see and

understand. He asks us to put aside our natural

tendencies to want to figure out what should happen

in our lives and when it should happen. He wants us

to resist the urge to “help” Him accomplish His divine

purposes with our human reasoning and with fleshly

efforts. He also desires us to stop being frustrated

because things do not go according to our plan, and

instead to relax, enjoy the ride, and trust He is

working everything out according to His timing and

the wisdom of His plan.

We must remember God not only has plans for

our lives, He also knows the perfect timing for

each aspect of those plans.

Without true trust in God, we will never experience

satisfaction and enjoyment in life; we will always be

striving to “make things happen” when we think they

should happen. We must remember God not only has

plans for our lives, He also knows the perfect timing

for each aspect of those plans. Many times we fail to

realize that being out of God’s timing is the same as

being out of His will. Fighting and resisting the

timing of God is equivalent to fighting and resisting

His will for our lives.

Psalm 31:15 assures us our times are in His hands.

He is working, often in ways we cannot see, to bring

His plans to pass in our lives in the best possible

ways, to bring us the greatest possible joy. He sees

the big picture of our lives, from start to finish; He

knows what needs to happen and when. We simply

need to trust Him and remember His perspective is

far superior to ours and that His timing is perfect.

If you are waiting for the fulfillment of a dream or

plan God has placed in your heart, be encouraged.

God is working on it; He is preparing it for you and

you for it. Just have a seat (enter God’s rest), and

when the time is precisely right, He’ll call your name.

CHAPTER 19

Follow Directions

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my

path.”

—PSALM 119:105

One sure way to add lightheartedness to your life is

to be around children. They are carefree, resilient,

and, often, very funny. I once read a list of children’s

comments about the Bible. I want to share a few of

them with you, and I hope they will add a little

humor to your day. (The original spelling errors have

been left to add to the humor.)

• Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

• Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of

fire by night.

• The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get

the Ten Amendments.

• The Fifth Commandment is humor thy father and

mother.

• Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.

• Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

• Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and

700 porcupines.

• The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua

told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.1

Obviously, these children knew something about

their Bible stories. They did not have all their words

exactly right, but I applaud their efforts because

knowing the Bible is vitally important. We need to

know, honor, and obey God’s Word if we want to

enjoy our lives today and embrace our futures

tomorrow. Every subject we can imagine is covered

in the Bible, and it contains all the directions we

need to follow to live our lives with peace, joy, power,

and a sense of fulfillment.

I want you to understand something about the Word

of God: the words in the Bible are not ordinary

words. They are words inspired by God Himself

through His Spirit, and they are full of life-changing

power. They are a written record of God’s thoughts

(see John 5:38); they teach us how to live, what to

believe, how to think, and how to relate to God and to

other people.

We cannot truly know God without knowing His

Word. To know Him and to enjoy an intimate,

personal relationship with Him, we must have a

deep, intimate relationship with His Word. His Word

reveals His thoughts, attitudes, behavior, character,

wisdom, and heart for you and me. It is absolute

truth and it makes truth known to us.

God’s Word not only teaches us truth, it also has the

power to help, encourage, and strengthen us to do

what it says—if we make it a priority in our lives. It is

a book of wisdom, teaching us not only what to do

but how to do it. The power of God’s truth, revealed

through His Word, totally transformed my life and

continues to change me day by day—and it can do

the same for you.

MEDITATE, OBSERVE, AND OBEY

When I first began to love and live by God’s Word,

one of the first scriptures I learned to really study,

pay attention to, and meditate on was Joshua 1:8:

“This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your

mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night,

that you may observe and do according to all that is

written in it. For then you shall make your way

prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have

good success.”

We need to understand the meaning of this phrase:

“This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your

mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night.”

These words teach us the importance of meditating

on God’s Word. To meditate is to murmur, mumble,

and roll over and over in our minds the truths we

read in the Bible. We are to focus on God’s Word, to

think about it, and to speak it quietly to ourselves.

When we need to make decisions, we are to make

them in accordance with God’s Word. In this way, the

Word does not “depart out of” our mouths; it stays

with us every day.

If we want to prosper and be wise

and successful, we need to know,

meditate on, and obey God’s Word.

When we keep the Word on our tongues and

meditate on it, Joshua 1:8 says we will “observe and

do” (see and obey) what is written in the Word. Then,

this verse promises we will make our ways

prosperous, deal wisely, and have success. We can

pray for God to prosper us, but this verse says we

make our own ways prosperous by doing what we

should do, which only happens as we live by the

Word. Furthermore, the Word teaches us to “deal

wisely,” and we will not be successful unless and

until we learn to conduct ourselves with wisdom. If

we want to prosper and be wise and successful, we

need to know, meditate on, and obey God’s Word.

Whether we go to sleep at night muttering scripture

verses, learn them by playing songs based on

scripture, or listen to CDs or downloads of Scripture,

we must do whatever it takes to get the Word

established in our hearts and minds if we want to

enjoy our lives and be successful.

MAKE THE INVESTMENT

If you have ever tried to operate an electronic device

or an appliance without reading the directions, you

may have found yourself frustrated and confused,

unless you are naturally gifted or experienced in

such things. Failure to read directions often leads to

assembling things in the wrong order or trying to

force parts into places they don’t belong. On the

other hand, a careful reading of directions often

enables a person to build or install things with less

frustration and in a way that ensures they will

function properly. So why don’t more people read

directions? Usually, they think they know what

they’re doing and they simply do not want to take

time to look at diagrams and read the instructions.

In the early years of my relationship with God, I did

not take time to carefully read His directions for my

life in His Word. I tried to live my life as a Christian

without really being a student of God’s Word. I was

faithful in my church attendance; I listened when

our preacher preached his sermons on Sunday

mornings; and I read one chapter of the Bible every

night before I went to bed, as quickly as possible.

Most of the time, I did not understand what I read

and I rarely paid much attention to the words on the

pages of my Bible because I was simply reading in

order to meet an obligation. I thought I was supposed

to read the Bible, so I did. But I cannot say it made

much difference in my life because I only did it out of

a sense of duty.

Many people go to church and call themselves

Christians without being students of the Word, and

they experience little transformation in their lives

because they do not obey the truths and principles of

God. I believe we can fall in love with God’s Word,

that we can hunger for it, gain understanding of it,

find life in it, and live in it. When I use the term “live

in the Word,” I mean studying it and then doing what

it says in every situation we face. Once again, the

Word is full of wisdom and guidance for every

circumstance. It teaches us about our attitudes,

desires, emotions, minds, finances, relationships,

motives, and the purposes for which God created us.

To enjoy our lives today and embrace our futures

tomorrow, we need to invest time in the Word. We

need to set apart time in our daily schedules to read,

study, meditate, and pray about the things we read in

the Bible. Then we need to apply these lessons and

principles in practical ways. That’s the only way the

Word will change our lives.

You and I put our time into what we value, and if we

value God’s Word, we will be happy to allot time for

it, because we will see the use of our time as an

investment, not as some kind of religious duty.

Reading and studying the Bible is something we do

for ourselves, not for God. Certainly, God is pleased

when we spend time in His Word, but sometimes we

approach reading the Word as something we are

doing for Him. In reality, our investment in the Word

is something we do for ourselves. The best way we

can possibly use our time is to invest it in God’s

Word.

I challenge you to dedicate a certain amount of time

each day to reading and studying God’s Word. Make

an appointment with God and don’t break it. You will

begin to make better choices, and that means you

will reap on the investment of time you have made. I

always thank God for what I know. I have studied His

Word for more than thirty years and I can honestly

say without hesitation that I am a transformed

person. Of course I am still growing and changing

and have not arrived at perfection, but I have

definitely experienced great progress.

THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

God’s Word is powerful, more powerful than any

other book or writing on earth, and it has something

to say about every area of our lives (some of the

specific areas the Word addresses are listed for you

in chapter 2, “Start with God”). By now, you have

read several times that I believe God’s Word can

change your life. But how? On a practical, personal

level, how do the words of Scripture work in our

lives?

All through the Bible, we can read how its truths

work in us. Jeremiah 23:29 says it is like a hammer

that can break even the most stubborn rocks into

pieces. Ephesians 5:26 tells us it is like water that

washes the filth of the world off of us. Psalm 119:105

teaches us the Word shows us which way to go

because it is “a lamp to my feet and a light to my

path.” Hebrews 4:12 tells us the Word of God is sharp

and powerful and quick like a two-edged sword,

dividing issues, exposing motives and purposes, and

revealing our hearts. As we see the truth expressed

in God’s Word, we recognize that many of our ways

are wrong and we see why we are not being

successful in life. John 8:31, 32 teaches us that as we

continue in God’s Word we will know the truth and

the truth will set us free.

As we see the truth expressed in God’s Word, we

recognize that many of our ways are wrong and

we see why we are not being successful in life.

The Word exposes true motives and thereby shows

us the reality of ourselves. As the truth reveals our

hearts, we may realize we are doing certain things

because we are proud, jealous, angry, or seeking

revenge against someone. We may discover we are

doing things to impress others or because of the fear

of man. Once we understand our motives, we can

repent, be cleansed, and experience the joy of

forgiveness and freedom.

According to 2 Timothy, as we read the Word and

apply it to our lives, we will be convinced, rebuked,

corrected, warned, urged and encouraged to do the

right thing, taught, convicted of sin, disciplined, and

trained in righteousness.

Psalm 107:20 is a scripture I have loved for many

years. It says, “He sends forth His word and heals

them and rescues them from the pit and

destruction.” I believe this happens when we read

the Word and allow it to work in our hearts and

lives. God sends forth His Word and we can be

healed—spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally,

financially, and relationally. When God’s Word gets

rooted in our hearts, our minds are renewed; we are

healed in many ways; and we are delivered from

various “pits” or difficulties we encounter in life.

The Word of God also exposes lies because it teaches

us truth and renews our minds (see Romans 12:2).

The enemy lies to us, and when we believe lies, those

lies become truth to us, and that’s deception. Many

people are trapped in deception, but the more we

study and live in the Word, the more those lies will

be exposed, and the more we will know the truth.

Studying God’s Word actually teaches us the proper

way to think. If we don’t know the truth, the devil

can fill our minds with all sorts of wrong thoughts

that produce terrible results. Our thoughts might

depress or discourage us. They might cause us to

distrust people or be resentful. They can evoke fear

and prevent us from enjoying a creative and

passionate life. But studying God’s Word will teach us

the proper way to think, which opens the door for

God’s perfect will in our lives. The Bible says in

Proverbs 23:7 that as a man thinks in his heart, so

does he become.

The Bible also strengthens us when we face

difficulties. When we have trouble, or when we are

afraid or discouraged, all we need to do is read Psalm

23: “The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and

shield me], I shall not lack. . . . Yes, though I walk

through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of

death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with

me. . . . You prepare a table before me in the

presence of my enemies. . . . My cup runs over.”

Those are not words the enemy wants to hear when

he is trying to cause us to fear or be depressed! The

Word will make us strong in our hearts when we

face trials or adversity.

Another way the Word works in our lives is by

helping us make good decisions. Psalm 119:11 also

says, “Your word have I laid up in my heart, that I

might not sin against You.” The King James Version of

this verse speaks of having God’s Word “hidden” in

our hearts, and if we hide His Word in our hearts,

then when we are about to make a wrong decision,

the truth of the Word will arise within us and keep

us from sinning if we obey it.

We must remember God’s Word has the power to

change our lives, and it always accomplishes its

purpose. In Isaiah 55:11, God says, “So shall My word

be that goes forth out of My mouth; it shall not return

to me void [without producing any effect, useless],

but it shall accomplish that which I please and

purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I

sent it.” Our lives will not change significantly or for

long if we do not love the Word. Let me encourage

you to give God’s Word a place of priority in your

daily life and to be diligent to learn and apply its

truths in every situation, because that will empower

you to enjoy today and embrace tomorrow.

We must remember God’s Word has the

power to change our lives, and it always

accomplishes its purpose.

CHAPTER 20

Give Them A Break!

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard

battle.”

—PLATO

You’ve heard it before: Nobody’s perfect. All of us

make mistakes; we all have personality quirks; and

we need help in certain areas. None of us have

“arrived”; we are all works in progress. I like to say,

“I’m okay and I’m on my way,” and this is true for

everyone. If we are sincerely seeking God’s will, then

we are getting better every day; we are continuing to

develop as individuals, becoming wiser, and gaining

maturity. But we still have shortcomings and faults.

We will never reach a place in our lives where we no

longer need the mercy of God. We know we have

faults but we must not focus excessively on our

weaknesses, feel guilty about them, or allow them to

stunt our personal growth. To enjoy our everyday

lives, we need to take a gracious, merciful approach

to ourselves and to others. We need to receive God’s

mercy and then let it flow through us to other

people. We need to give ourselves—and the people

around us—a break.

We need to receive God’s mercy and then let it

flow through us to other people. We need to give

ourselves— and the people around us—a break.

Have you noticed how terribly some people treat

others these days? Sometimes I am shocked as I walk

through a grocery store, a coffee shop, or a

restaurant by the way people treat each other. Their

comments and interactions are often full of

judgment, criticism, and very strong opinions. I

rarely observe or overhear people encouraging,

forgiving, or complimenting each other anymore.

People with a short fuse are abundant, but long-

suffering (patience), a fruit of the Holy Spirit (see

Galatians 5:22), seems to be in short supply in our

society.

I believe a lot of this criticism and lack of grace and

mercy comes from the fact we want ourselves and

others to be perfect, and we want our relationships

to be perfect. We often have unrealistic expectations

that set us up for disappointment. Where personal

interactions are concerned, the prevailing message of

our day seems to go something like this: “If you suit

me perfectly; if you never make mistakes; if you

always treat me just right; if you do everything just

the way I want you to, then I will applaud you and

receive you into my life. I will like you, love you, and

accept you. But if you make mistakes, even if I let you

stay in my life, the very least I will do is let you know

you made a mistake, because I certainly wouldn’t

want you to think you’re getting away with anything.

I cannot let anything slide without giving you a

warning or, at the very least, a little dose of rejection

because if I let anything slide you might think you

can just do it again and again.”

The problem with the attitude I just described is it’s

completely unbiblical. If we want to enjoy life and

relationships, we need to live by the truths and

principles in God’s Word. His Word does not teach us

to be hard and demanding toward others, but to be

kind, compassionate, patient, and gracious. God is

extremely merciful toward us. In fact, He has fresh

mercies for us every morning of our lives (see

Lamentations 3:23); and He wants us to be merciful

toward others.

All of us need mercy every day—probably more than

we even realize. Sometimes I wonder how many

times God shows mercy to us without our ever

knowing it or how often He overlooks our faults and

mistakes—and doesn’t even call it to our attention.

More than we realize, He blesses us when we don’t

deserve to be blessed and gets us out of trouble or

saves our lives. I am sure He thinks on a regular

basis, I understand why you did that; I understand

where you came from and what you’ve been

through. I’m going to give you some mercy; I’m going

to give you some space; I’m going to give you some

time. I’m going to give you another chance.

God is merciful. Mercy is part of His nature. He

continually offers it to us; and we need to continually

extend it to others.

GIVE IT TO GET IT

Jesus said in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge and criticize

and condemn others, so that you may not be judged

and criticized and condemned yourselves.” This is a

clear example of the biblical principle of sowing and

reaping, of experiencing in our own lives what we

plant in the lives of others.

We do reap a harvest from the seeds we sow (see

Galatians 6:7). If we sow mercy, we will reap mercy.

We all need mercy, and the way to get it is to give it

away. If we want people to give us a break—to extend

grace and mercy to us—we need to extend grace and

mercy to them.

God does not ask us to give away what we do not

have. However, once we have received a gift from

Him, He does expect us to freely share that gift with

others. We know from God’s Word He has given us

forgiveness; He expects us to now forgive others. He

has also shown us mercy; He now asks us to be

merciful to others. God loves us unconditionally; He

now wants us to love others unconditionally, without

judging them or trying to make them earn

everything we give them. The way God treats us

shows us how He wants us to treat others.

The way God treats us shows us how

he wants us to treat others.

MERCY OVER JUDGMENT

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I have always found

that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.” His

observation is based in Scripture. James 2:13 says,

“For to him who has shown no mercy the judgment

[will be] merciless, but mercy [full of glad

confidence] exults victoriously over judgment.”

When people around us are struggling or making

mistakes, we need to help them, not judge them and

criticize them. Isn’t this the way we want to be

treated when we don’t do everything right?

In God’s eyes, mercy is much greater than judgment,

and we should always choose to be merciful instead

of judgmental or critical. This does not mean we

should never, ever correct or confront people or that

we should allow people to walk all over us, or abuse

and mistreat us. It simply means we refrain from

pointing out and criticizing every wrong thing a

person does. True mercy does not cower in the face

of deliberate or blatant wrongdoing or sin; it

confronts in love, with the goal of helping people live

in the blessings of obedience to God’s Word. But

when people are doing the best they can with pure

motives, mercy does not call attention to faults and

flaws.

I believe many relationships are in serious trouble

today because people simply do not exhibit grace and

mercy toward one another. People are tired of being

nitpicked and criticized for their mistakes and

imperfections—and this has endangered countless

relationships. If you are in this situation—you know

you are being too hard on someone—let me urge you

to develop a merciful attitude toward people’s

failures and mistakes. This simple attitude

adjustment could save an important relationship and

turn a miserable situation into a relationship you

really enjoy.

A LONG FUSE

Philippians 4:5 encourages us: “Let all men know and

perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your

considerateness, your forbearing spirit).” What is a

“forbearing spirit”? A person with a forbearing spirit

is one who can put up with a lot from people without

being judgmental or losing his or her temper. To be

forbearing is, in common terms, to have “a long

fuse,” to be patient with others and to give them

grace when they make mistakes or do annoying

things. We can choose to let things go or point them

out. I spent many years not enjoying my life because

I was not willing to practice this principle. I made a

big deal out of every little mistake people made. The

longer I walked with God, the more I realized He was

not pleased with my behavior in this area and I

asked Him to change me and help me extend mercy

as often as wisdom allowed. As I already mentioned,

there are times when not confronting an issue would

be unwise, but the truth is most of the time the things

that upset us are rather petty.

To be forbearing is, in common terms, to

have “a long fuse,” to be patient with

others and to give them grace when they

make mistakes or do annoying things.

We should be the kind of people who must be pushed

and pushed and pushed and pushed before we

become angry. We do not want to be quick-tempered,

easily frustrated people who get upset over innocent,

insignificant infringements of the rules and

regulations we impose upon others.

Whether we realize it or not, we all have rules or

codes of behavior in our relationships with others,

and other people have rules they want to apply to us.

Each person in our lives has a set of expectations for

us, just as we have for them. This is why

relationships become complicated. One person wants

a specific behavior from us, while the next person

wants the opposite response. One person wants us to

talk; another person wants us to be quiet. One person

wants to know what we think; another becomes

angry if we offer our opinions.

Trying to deal with different people

and different types of personalities can

be trying, so we must develop an attitude of

patience and forbearance toward everyone.

Over time, we all begin to feel we must become

relational geniuses to keep everyone happy. Trying to

deal with different people and different types of

personalities can be trying, so we must develop an

attitude of patience and forbearance toward

everyone. This way, we can begin to build honest,

healthy, long-term relationships that will enrich our

lives and the lives of those with whom we interact. I

encourage you to pray in this area, because merely

trying won’t work. We need divine help on a regular

basis if we want to go through life at peace with

people.

COVER IT

Sometimes, the best way to deal with an offense or

with something that gets on our nerves is simply to

overlook it. If we insist upon calling every little

mistake to people’s attention (this is called “nit

picking”), we are not being gracious and merciful.

You have probably heard the saying “Love is blind,”

which means we often overlook people’s faults when

we love them. Another way to say this is, “Love

covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

Let me repeat: Nobody’s perfect. Every member of

every household on earth has bad habits. In our

home, I have habits Dave wishes I didn’t have and he

has habits I wish he didn’t have. For instance, Dave

does not always close his closet door. In our closets,

the lights stay on if the doors are open. For years, I

had a hard time simply closing the closet door for

him; I always wanted to make sure Dave knew he left

the door open and I had to close it again!

Our fleshly natures really enjoy telling people what

they have done wrong and how we have fixed it. The

best way for me to handle Dave’s open closet door is

to close it and go on about my day, not to say, “You

left your light on again” every time he does it. There

are similar things Dave needs to do for me. There are

plenty of times when I am not perfect and I want him

to cover my mistakes.

In adult relationships, both in marriage and in other

relationships, we need to cover each other’s

mistakes. While there are times when situations

need to be confronted and resolved, there are other

times when people are busy or rushed and they

simply need us to step in and do what they have

unintentionally left undone. We need to do these

things without feeling we must mention the fact we

saved the day!

People do not want to hear about every little mistake

they make. Remember, the Bible says, “Love covers

all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12). When we speak

of being merciful and gracious to others, we are

speaking of demonstrating love—and love covers

those irritating little things people do.

Before you point out what someone has done

wrong, remember love covers transgressions.

I encourage you to apply this verse to your everyday

life. Before you point out what someone has done

wrong, remember love covers transgressions. When

you want to say, “You left your socks on the floor

again!” or “I had to let your water out of the bathtub

again!” remember, love covers.

I really appreciate the times people cover my

mistakes; I believe you do too. Sow a little mercy into

someone’s life today, and when that person does

something that would normally frustrate you, simply

cover it.

DON’T BE A NAG

No matter what people do, how thoroughly they

frustrate you, or how desperately you wish they

would change, you are absolutely powerless to

change them. You can cover them with prayer, but

you cannot change them. Only God can work within

the human heart and change the nature of a person.

Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not fret or have any anxiety

about anything, but in every circumstance and in

everything, by prayer and petition (definite

requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your

wants known to God.” We have to ask God to change

people, and we need to do so with thankful hearts,

not with murmuring, grumbling, and complaining.

We can try to prescribe rules and regulations for

people to live by, but if their hearts are not changed,

they will break our rules and resent us for making

them.

In relationships, we should clearly communicate our

needs, desires, and preferences; we may tell people

what we don’t like and what makes us unhappy. But

we must not continue to tell them and tell them and

tell them. That’s called nagging; and no one likes a

nag!

As an example, I think of Dave’s lifelong affinity for

high-powered cars. He gets a real thrill out of

stomping on the gas pedal and hearing the vroooom!

of the engine. Sometimes, when I ride with him, he

floors the gas when I least expect it. I don’t like that,

and I have said to him many times, “I would prefer

not to end up with a sore neck just from riding in the

car with you.”

Then I’ll say, “You do not have to drive this way.”

Dave typically responds, “Yes, I do, honey! Do you

realize that other car would have hit us if I hadn’t

gotten out of his way?” Or, he might say, “I had to do

that to get ahead of the traffic.”

“That is not true,” I reply. “You just want to drive fast.

You drive this way because you want to, not because

you have to!”

Dave has done this as long as I have known him. I do

not like it; I have never liked it; but I have accepted

the fact that nagging him is not going to change it.

My point is we must stop nagging people and begin

to pray for them to change. We can’t try to

manipulate them with prayer; we must pray out of

genuine love for them and then we need to thank

God for working in the situation and the person’s

heart. We can’t pray sometimes and nag sometimes

because nagging can negate our prayers.

I know—keeping our mouths shut is difficult. But we

must learn to do so. Most of the time, the things

people do that make us want to scream are quite

insignificant in the grand scheme of things; they

simply get on our nerves. This is where we have to

realize and admit we are being selfish. What they are

doing makes us uncomfortable or is inconvenient to

us.

THE ROOT OF UNHAPPINESS

The heart of the gospel—and the heart of love—is

dying to self. If we are really going to love others, we

have to resist self-centeredness in every form. Self-

centeredness means being completely focused on

ourselves, our wants, our needs, our interests, our

priorities. When we are self-centered, we expect

people around us to exist for our benefit. We think

they should work to keep us happy, do what we want,

and put us first. And by all means, they should never

do anything to irritate us, frustrate us, or

inconvenience us.

The heart of the gospel—

and the heart of love—

is dying to self.

William Gladstone, a man who served four times as

prime minister of Great Britain, said, “Selfishness is

the greatest curse of the human race.” I agree with

him. I also believe selfishness is the root of most

unhappiness and the inability to enjoy life. The

overwhelming majority of the unhappiness, upset,

and frustration we feel comes from not having things

we want or from having to deal with situations we

don’t want. When our personal desires are not being

met, we fall into discontent—and this is selfish.

I have heard so many single women say, “I want to

get married. If I can just get married, I will be

happy.” I want to say, “No, you won’t. While marriage

can be wonderful, simply being married will not

make you happy. Being married means another

person is present in your life all the time—a person

with his or her own wants, needs, interests, and

issues. It means having to consult someone else on

matters you could handle on your own while you

were single.” I have also heard married women say,

“Oh! If I just had some freedom I would be happy!” I

have heard some women comment, “If I could just

have a baby, I would be so happy,” while others say,

“I will be so glad when these kids grow up!” I also

hear countless people say they will be happy when

they make more money, buy a boat, live in a bigger

house, or retire.

All of this never-ending wanting keeps us focused on

ourselves; it breeds selfishness, which keeps us from

being thankful for what we do have and from truly

loving others. We must learn to be content. We need

to be satisfied with what we have and with what we

do not have. Happiness, after all, has nothing to do

with possessions; it has to do with the condition of

our hearts. A selfish heart is never happy; it is

constantly demanding. Ask God for your want or

need, and then go on enjoying the life you have right

now. Learn how to enjoy where you are on the way

to where you are going!

Learning to love unselfishly will enable you to enjoy

life and to enjoy the people around you. The Bible

says, “[And it is, indeed, a source of immense profit,

for] godliness accompanied with contentment (that

contentment which is a sense of inward sufficiency)

is great and abundant gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). I want to

encourage you to put aside any selfish thoughts and

behaviors you may have, and to seek to be content

with yourself, your possessions, and the people with

whom you have relationships. Be satisfied and

content with who they are without demanding they

change to make you happy. Be gracious; be merciful;

and give people a break—and you’ll find yourself

enjoying life and people more than ever.

Learning to love unselfishly will enable you to

enjoy life and to enjoy the people around you.

CHAPTER 21

Stay Positive

“The pessimist sees the difficulty in every

opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in

every difficulty.”

—WINSTON CHURCHILL

Holocaust survivor and famous author Viktor Frankl

wrote:

We who lived in concentration camps can remember

the men who walked through the huts comforting

others, giving away their last piece of bread. They

may have been few in number, but they offer

sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a

man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—

to choose one’s attitude in any given set of

circumstances.1

I believe one of the great privileges of life is being

able to choose our attitudes. If we choose to be

positive, life will go well for us; and if we choose to

be negative, it will not. A positive attitude is

absolutely necessary if we are to enjoy our lives

today and look forward to tomorrow.

FOR YOUR HEALTH

I believe the most important mental attitude a person

can have is a positive approach to life. A positive

attitude helps us deal with stress, makes us fun for

others to be around, and can keep us healthy. In an

article in Newsweek magazine, Dr. Howard LeWine

of Harvard University writes about the health

benefits of a positive attitude:

I believe the most important mental attitude a

person can have is a positive approach to life.

What does it mean to have a “positive attitude”? The

image of a bubbly, fun-loving individual may spring

to mind. But such an outgoing, social person may be

inclined to engage in riskier behaviors that cause

injury and poor health.

Instead, there are several features of a positive

attitude that research has found to be associated

with healthier aging. If you have a positive attitude,

you see relatively few of life’s challenges as

overwhelming. You feel in control most of the time.

You believe you can strongly influence, if not

completely determine, your health. For example, you

believe that your lifestyle choices—healthy eating,

regular exercise, and avoiding dangerous habits—

really can affect your health. Indeed, you take

pleasure in controlling your life through your

choices, while understanding that there are no

guarantees.

Finally, you are flexible. You know that life will

sometimes make it hard to follow your agenda for

health, but that if things happen that don’t allow you

to follow your exact program, you go with the flow.

There is time later that day or the next to get back on

track.2

Dr. LeWine goes on to rank a positive attitude as the

number one contributing factor to healthy aging,

even over exercise and a healthy diet, and cites a

Yale University study which determined that

optimistic people live an average of 7.5 years longer

than those who have a negative outlook on life.3

While some people are naturally more optimistic

than others, anyone can develop a positive attitude

by simply choosing to do so. As a result, life will be

not only healthier, but much more enjoyable.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE, POSITIVE LIFE

A true positive attitude is not ecstatic and upbeat one

day, then doubtful the next, then discouraged, then

hopeful again. A real positive attitude is a matter of

choice. We must choose to take an optimistic

approach toward life every day, to set our minds—

and keep them set—in positive directions.

We must choose to take an optimistic

approach toward life every day, to set our minds

—and keep them set—in positive directions.

Many times I quote the scripture “This is the day

which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice

and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Quoting these

words from my heart and making them personal is

one way I develop a positive mind-set every day. I

choose to rejoice, to enjoy life, and to be glad. I am of

the opinion that no matter how negative people

might be, they can change if they really want to. I

was actually taught by my father to be negative. I

remember his making comments such as, “You can’t

trust anybody. Everybody is merely using you to get

what they want.” The interesting point is he saw

people that way because he was that way. He used

people to get what he wanted and cared nothing for

them, so he assumed the entire world was the same

way. He taught me to be suspicious, so it was not easy

for me to learn to trust. But with God’s help I have

been transformed from being extremely negative

about almost everything, to being very positive. Since

I have lived both ways, I am qualified to tell you that

approaching life in a positive way is better.

Whether it’s a hot fudge sundae, the completion

of a big project, or a closer walk with God,

if we focus our thoughts on it, we will direct

our actions toward it.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so

is he.” What this means is, we become whatever we

think about. What goes on in our minds directly

affects what happens in our lives. Whether it’s a hot

fudge sundae, the completion of a big project, or a

closer walk with God, if we focus our thoughts on it,

we will direct our actions toward it. The same is true

for our overall lives. If we think positive thoughts

toward life, we will pursue and ultimately enjoy

happy, confident, fulfilled lives.

DON’T DEPEND ON CIRCUMSTANCES

Martha Washington, the wife of America’s first

president, made an observation with which I

wholeheartedly agree: “The greatest part of our

happiness depends on our dispositions, not our

circumstances.” Many people allow circumstances to

determine their attitudes. If their circumstances are

favorable, they look at life through a positive lens. If

their circumstances are negative, they see every

situation from a negative point of view. We must be

more mature than that; we must develop a positive

outlook on life, no matter what happens. We need to

be as positive when the car breaks down or when we

need a root canal as we are when we receive a raise

or promotion. We cannot wait until circumstances

change to decide to adjust our attitudes. We need to

be stable and consistent in our upbeat approach

toward every situation.

To develop the stability we need, we have to

eliminate the mind-set that says, “I will enjoy life

when I don’t have this problem anymore.” “I will

enjoy myself when this situation is resolved.” “I will

enjoy my family when my children behave better.”

“I’ll be glad when I finally pay all of my debts.” “I will

relax when I finish this stressful assignment at

work.”

The fact is, “when” rarely comes. When the issue you

see as a hindrance to your enjoyment of life finally

goes away, something else will arise. If you are like

most people, you will have a little reprieve, and then

something else will come up. I’m not being negative;

I’m just telling you how life is. It’s not perfect;

something always needs to be addressed, fixed,

resolved, or confronted.

We never know what we will have to face or when

unexpected situations will demand our attention.

Life is full of surprises; sometimes they are

wonderful and sometimes they are unpleasant or

even heartbreaking. Whatever unexpected events

and surprises come our way, we need to meet them

with a predetermined, positive mind-set. Having a

positive mind-set doesn’t mean our disappointments

don’t hurt. We can feel hurt and still decide not to let

our feelings rule us. Being able to decide how we will

behave apart from how we feel is one of the greatest

privileges we have as human beings. The ability to

choose is a gift from God and we should use it to our

benefit. When all is said and done, life is relatively

short and we should not waste even one day being

negative and downcast.

BE GLAD TODAY

As we move beyond saying, “I’ll be glad when . . . ”

we need to begin saying, “I am glad now. I am going

to be happy and positive today. My life may not be

exactly what I want it to be, but I choose to be glad

today.” I am still working with the Holy Spirit to

break the habit of saying, “I’ll be glad when . . . ” I

have made a lot of progress, but still find myself

making that comment even in little things. The other

day I heard myself say, “I’ll be glad when the weather

gets warmer.” Then I quickly added, “But, I am also

glad right now!” I am fighting the good fight of faith

in this area and trusting God to cause me to hear

myself every time I say, “I’ll be glad when . . . ” I am

determined to be glad now!

Why is it important to be positive today? Because a

positive attitude gives us the strength not only to

endure the situations we face, but also to overcome

them. Anyone can go through a difficult time with a

bad attitude; it takes a positive person to endure it

victoriously.

To encourage us in this, the Bible is full of scriptures

such as these:

• “Yet amid all these things we are more than

conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through

Him Who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

• “He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he

who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

• “I have strength for all things in Christ Who

empowers me” (Philippians 4:13).

These verses and others remind us to meet every

situation with strength and the joy that accompanies

certain victory. God is on our side—and that’s all the

reason we need to have a positive attitude in the face

of challenges and difficulties.

To have a positive attitude is not to deny pain,

hardship, suffering, or grief. It does not protect us

from being hurt, keep us from crying, shield us from

difficult situations, or prevent “bad days” once in a

while. It simply means we trust God, keep our

emotions under control, and refuse to allow our

feelings to determine our attitudes and actions.

The apostle Paul, who suffered many hardships

during his ministry, writes,

“I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the

point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in

whatever state I am. I know how to be abased and

live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know

also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I

have learned in any and all circumstances the secret

of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going

hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or

going without and being in want.”

(Philippians 4:11, 12)

Paul’s attitude, reflected in these words, is

tremendous to me. It gives me great hope, as it shows

us he learned the secret of contentment. If he

learned it, so can you and I. We may not have been

perfected in this area, but we can keep pressing

toward being positive and satisfied, no matter what

our circumstances may be.

ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD

My husband is a very happy man; he is consistently

joyful and peaceful. Over the years we have been

married, he has enjoyed his life much more than I

have enjoyed mine, and he has not spent (wasted)

nearly as much time as I have being angry, upset,

and frustrated. Most of the time, I was the one who

stewed over situations and allowed things to bother

me, while Dave went on his merry way and enjoyed

each day.

When certain problems arise, Dave says, “If you can

do something about this, do it. If you can’t, go on

about your business, trust God, and let Him take care

of it.” That always sounded good to me, but it used to

take me longer to “let go and let God” than it did him,

but now I am catching up.

Recently, we were riding in the car together and

Dave received a phone call about a change in one of

our television air times. This happened to be on one

of our best stations and he did not like the change.

He started getting upset and I heard myself say,

“Don’t let it bug you. God will make it work out for

the best if we pray.” I didn’t even have to try to be

positive; it was my first response. I am continually

amazed at how much God can change us if we

continue praying and letting Him work in our lives.

Here I was actually encouraging Mr. Positive, when

most of my life it had been the other way around.

That felt good!

One way to stay peaceful, content, and unruffled

is to know how to “cast your care on the Lord”

(see 1 Peter 5:7).

One way to stay peaceful, content, and unruffled is to

know how to “cast your care on the Lord” (see 1

Peter 5:7) and respond to every challenging situation

with a scripture such as Romans 8:28: “We are

assured and know that . . . all things work together

and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those

who love God and are called according to [His]

design and purpose.”

This verse teaches us how to approach everything we

face in life. It means that, if we really love God and

want to do His will, then we must believe—no matter

what happens in our lives—that God is in control and

He will take everything that happens and make it

work out for our good. Certain circumstances may

not always feel good or appear to be good, but God

will cause them to work together with other things in

your life to bring about good. God is a good God, and

He can take even the worst situations and bring

something positive out of them.

I believe Romans 8:28 is a key to enjoying life today

and facing tomorrow with confidence. I cannot

promise you circumstances will always be pleasant

or comfortable. Challenge is part of life. I do believe,

however, that regardless of the circumstance you

face, if you will say from your heart, “I believe this

will work out for my good. I don’t like the way it feels

right now, God, but I do know I love You; I do know I

want Your will; and therefore, I believe this is going

to work out for my good,” then that’s exactly what

will happen.

God wants us to stay positive and joyful, no matter

what we encounter, because the joy of the Lord is our

strength (see Nehemiah 8:10). The reason it is so

important to be joyful in trials is that trials and

difficulties drain our strength, but joy restores it. A

good, hearty laugh makes everyone feel better. If we

allow ourselves to be drained without being restored,

the enemy can defeat us. But if we fight back with

that fruit of joy, we will be strengthened to endure

hardships and emerge victoriously.

If we take an honest, realistic approach to life, we

must accept that we will have trouble at times. In

John 16:33, Jesus says, “In the world you have

tribulation and trials and distress and frustration;

but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident,

certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world.

[I have deprived it of power to harm you and have

conquered it for you.]”

If we allow ourselves to be drained

without being restored, the enemy can

defeat us. But if we fight back with that

fruit of joy, we will be strengthened to

endure hardships and emerge victoriously.

In other words, we can count on difficulties in our

lives, but we can also “be of good cheer,” which is

another way of saying, “stay positive,” because Jesus

has deprived hardship of the power to harm us. I

don’t think this verse means we never hurt or grieve,

but that painful situations cannot do us any

permanent harm. Remember, all things work

together for our good. We must believe that, and base

our positive attitudes toward life on that truth.

OUR WORDS AFFECT OUR JOY

Just as a positive mental attitude helps us enjoy our

lives, the words we speak also affect the levels of joy

we experience. Matthew 12:34 explains why this is

true: “Out of the fullness (the overflow, the

superabundance) of the heart the mouth speaks.”

When we are filled with joy, peace, and optimism, we

will speak words reflecting those attitudes. If we

listen to what we say, we will be able to stay in touch

with what is going on in our hearts.

Our words are powerful. They not only reveal the

conditions of our hearts, they also influence our

ability to enjoy life. Proverbs 18:20, 21 makes this

point clearly: “A man’s [moral] self shall be filled

with the fruit of his mouth; and with the

consequence of his words he must be satisfied

[whether good or evil]. Death and life are in the

power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall

eat the fruit of it [for death or life].”

Our words are powerful. They not only

reveal the conditions of our hearts, they

also influence our ability to enjoy life.

If we speak negatively, we will have negative

experiences. On the other hand, if we speak

positively, we will see good, positive things happen in

our lives. If we talk about our problems, our

problems will seem to grow and become more

difficult to deal with—and we will be depressed and

discouraged. But if we talk about our ability to

endure and overcome our problems, we will find

ourselves discovering solutions, feeling strong and

confident, and able to work through those problems

to achieve positive results. Why are these principles

true? Because we eat the fruit of our words,

according to Proverbs 18:21. We can poison our own

joy by the thoughts we think and the words we

speak.

If we want to enjoy our lives, we have to watch what

we say and choose our words carefully. First Peter

3:10 says, “For let him who wants to enjoy life and

see good days [good—whether apparent or not] keep

his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile

(treachery, deceit).” The connection between

enjoying our everyday lives and the words we speak

could not be clearer. We need to speak positively, talk

about things that make us happy, use our words to

encourage others, and refuse to speak evil of people

or negatively about circumstances.

Look also at Proverbs 15:23: “A man has joy in

making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the

right moment—how good it is!” Not only can we

bring ourselves joy with the words we speak, we can

use our words for positive purposes in other people’s

lives. If you have ever had someone speak just the

right words to you at just the right moment, you

know that can change your perspective, encourage

you to keep going, or even affect the course of your

life. Because we reap what we sow, the more joy we

give to others through the words we speak, the more

joy we experience personally.

BE DETERMINED TO ENJOY LIFE

Let me encourage you to be determined to enjoy

every day of your life by keeping a positive attitude.

Use your mind to think positive thoughts and your

mouth to speak positive words.

Use your mind to think positive thoughts and

your mouth to speak positive words.

You will have to be diligent to stay positive, but you

can do it. The minute you feel yourself becoming

negative, stop and make an attitude adjustment. The

best way to do this is to spend time with God.

Even if you need to lock yourself in the bathroom to

get a moment’s peace and quiet in your busy

household or sit in your car during your lunch break

at work, take time to get with God and say, “Okay,

God, I’m starting to think negative thoughts. I’m

starting to feel discouraged. I am tempted to give up.

Show me what the problem is. Strengthen me right

now, Lord. If there’s something I need to see, let me

see it. If there’s a change I need to make, help me

make it. Otherwise, give me Your strength and Your

grace to have a positive attitude and do whatever I

need to do and to do it with joy. I wait on You, God,

because I know You’re the source of every good gift

and I believe You are working all things together for

good in my life.” Don’t merely “try” to have a better

attitude, pray about it!

As you spend time with God, He may reveal to you

why you have stopped enjoying life at that moment

or why you have become negative. For example, He

could show you the reason you have lost your

positive attitude is that a colleague at work received

a promotion you wanted. Maybe you became jealous

or bitter and developed a bad attitude because you

wanted to move up but now have to continue in your

old job.

When God shows you something like that, you can

say, “You’re right, God. I’m sorry. I’m not going to be

jealous. Bless that person, Lord. Give them wisdom

and grace to do the new job well. I know You have a

plan for my life, and I know nothing can keep me

from the good things You have purposed for me. I

choose to believe this will work out for my good.

Since I did not get the promotion I wanted, You must

have something better in store for me. I am going to

wait on that with a positive attitude.”

God also may reveal to you something that is

bothering you subconsciously. God once revealed to

me that I was angry at my son because he was not as

spiritual as I wanted him to be. I knew we had a

difficult time getting along with each other, but I

honestly was not aware that I was angry with him

and certainly not conscious of the fact I was angry

because he wasn’t handling his spiritual life as I

thought he should. I became negative about my son

and didn’t even know exactly why. I even felt

aggravated when I was in the room with him, but in

order for me to understand why, God had to reveal to

me what the exact problem was. When I saw the

truth, I was able to repent to both God and my son,

and my joy increased. Things hidden in the dark

have power over us, so don’t be afraid to ask God to

show you what is wrong and to walk in the light of

what He reveals.

Things hidden in the dark have power over us, so

don’t be afraid to ask God to show you what is

wrong and to walk in the light of what He reveals.

A friend of mine shared that any time he finds

himself in a bad mood he knows it is rooted in

something and he immediately proceeds to ask God

what it is. Sometimes it is unforgiveness, at other

times it is another sin he has not recognized and

needs to repent of, it may be worry or even fear, but

it is always something. He has learned not to merely

be passive about bad moods, but to aggressively find

out how he opened the door to them and change

whatever is necessary to get back on track with God.

A person who has a positive attitude cannot be

defeated. He or she will enjoy life, no matter what. I

encourage you to decide to eliminate negative

thinking and negative speaking from your life right

now. As soon as you do, you’ll find yourself enjoying

today and looking forward to tomorrow in brand-

new ways.

CHAPTER 22

Be Out-Of-Control

“Him that I love, I wish to be free—even from me.”

—ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH

I heard a story about a young lady who received

salvation in a church service. After she finished at

the altar, she returned to her seat, where her fiancé

was waiting for her. She was so excited, and she

began to encourage him: “Oh, I feel so wonderful. I

just gave my life to the Lord, and He’s forgiven me of

my sins, and I feel so much peace and joy. It’s

wonderful! Come and give your life to Jesus! Come

on! Go to the altar and pray!

The skeptical young man replied, “I’m not getting

into all that emotional stuff.”

After she had spent quite some time trying to talk her

fiancé into becoming a Christian and he continued to

resist and make fun of her, she finally looked at him

and said, “Okay. You can choose not to go to heaven

with me, but don’t ask me to go to hell with you!”

Even though the young woman loved this man

enough to marry him, she was not going to allow his

decision to determine her destiny. She was her own

person, she made her own choice; and she refused to

let his thoughts and actions control her.

YOU DECIDE

We will never enjoy our everyday lives if we allow

other people to control us. In fact, we will be

miserable, confused, and tired as a result of trying to

please people who seek to influence us in ways that

go against our own hearts. To enjoy life and truly

embrace the freedom Jesus died to give us, we must

exercise our God-given right to make our own

decisions.

Allowing other people to make your decisions for

you is not only foolish, it will make you unhappy. You

were created to use the free will God has given you.

You were made to seek guidance from Him and to

know in your heart what you should do in every

situation. You alone are responsible before God for

your choices, so you need to be the one who makes

them.

Far too often, we run from person to person, asking,

“What do you think about this? “What should I do?”

Many times the reason we do this is we want these

people to accept or approve of us, or not to be angry

with us. If we do what they say, we reason, they will

be pleased with us. This need for acceptance and

approval often drives us to ask for advice from

people who are not qualified to give advice or who

might even give us suggestions that would work for

their benefit instead of ours. Bad advice, if followed,

leads to bad decisions, and bad decisions make for a

miserable life.

Bad advice, if followed, leads to bad decisions,

and bad decisions make for a miserable life.

I want to present a balanced approach to this matter

and to be clear that there are times we do need wise

counsel. Seeking wise advice from a mature,

trustworthy person who has our best interest at

heart is different than soliciting opinions from

people we hardly know, people who do not

demonstrate wisdom, or people who simply like to

tell us what to do.

Some people can put counsel and suggestions in

perspective and not allow it to influence them

unduly. Others want to follow advice quickly and

thoroughly once they hear it. Depending on the kind

of person you are and the way you respond to other

people’s input in your life, I would say this: If you can

listen to someone else’s opinion and then step away

from it and make your own decisions, fine. But if

hearing someone’s opinion makes you feel you must

act on it, then don’t ask for much advice. Do

whatever you need to do to be in a position to hear

God’s voice for yourself and allow Him to guide you,

rather than allowing the opinions and advice of

other people to lead you.

Years ago, my daughter, Sandy, allowed people’s

opinions to affect her quite significantly. She was

strongly influenced by what the people around her

thought. When she needed to make a decision, she

asked so many people for their opinions she became

confused to the point she hardly knew what to do.

As time passed, I watched Sandy fight her way out of

needing so much input for every decision, and I saw

her learn to stand her ground. As part of the learning

process, she almost became too forceful about saying

she was going to do whatever she wanted to do, but

people often swing too far in the opposite direction

when they are trying to break the power of control in

their lives and establish new patterns of thought and

behavior. I knew Sandy would end up in a healthy,

balanced place—and she did.

Now, Sandy can ask someone, “What do you think

about this outfit?” or “How do you like my new

hairstyle?” and she can handle an honest response

without becoming insecure. If a person does not

answer positively, she can say, “Well, I appreciate

your opinion, but I like my hairstyle, and I am going

to keep it.” She can accept other people’s opinions

without giving in to them, and she is free enough to

go ahead and do what she really wants to do. To me,

that’s balance.

She frequently asks me what I think about certain

things, but she does not always take my advice and

that does not offend me. I want her to follow her own

heart, not mine. She considers what I say as she

makes her decision, but she does not let my opinion

control her.

I think it is foolish for anyone to never ask for or be

willing to take advice, but it is also foolish to be a

people pleaser and work so hard trying to keep

people happy that you are never happy yourself. All

of us need to be balanced when it comes to the input

we allow others to have in our lives. We need to

realize we have the right to make our own choices. If

we are wise, we will ask God to help us and lead us in

our decisions, and not be led by the opinions of other

people. We need to be smart enough to seek truly

wise counsel at strategic times and then take the

advice we receive to the Lord and ask Him to give us

peace about the decisions He wants us to make.

We need to be smart enough to seek

truly wise counsel at strategic times and

then take the advice we receive to the Lord

and ask Him to give us peace about the

decisions He wants us to make.

BE TRUE TO YOU

To really enjoy life and make good personal

decisions, an individual must be true to his or her

own heart. People have understood this for

centuries. In fact, the playwright William

Shakespeare, who wrote during the late 1500s and

early 1600s, penned these famous words in his play

Hamlet: “To thine own self be true.” You are the one

who must live with the consequences of your

decisions, and the best way to be happy with them is

to follow what is in your heart, not what is in

someone else’s.

You will be miserable and unfulfilled if you

constantly do what others want you to do, especially

if you do not want to do it. This does not mean you

never do what somebody else wants you to do,

because there are times we need to make sacrifices

because we love people. It simply means you don’t

make a habit of allowing others to control you and

direct the course of your life.

As the leader of Joyce Meyer Ministries, I am

responsible for the conferences we conduct. To be

faithful to the call God has placed upon my life and

the leadership position He has given me, I determine

what happens in our conferences as I am led by the

Holy Spirit. I never walk onto the platform and ask

the audience what they want to hear that day but I go

with a message prepared—one I believe God has led

me to share with that particular group. I do what

God leads me to do, not what people think I should

do. The message God gives may not always be a

comfortable one. Quite often, my messages challenge

people to come up higher in their behavior.

Sometimes, people even ask me to teach on a specific

subject that interests them. I always respond that I

will keep their requests in mind, but I must be led by

the Holy Spirit. I think many ministers get into

trouble because they preach what they think people

want to hear instead of what God is telling them to

preach. Some messages are not easy to hear. Jesus

often offended people with His preaching and

teaching, and He did so because He was determined

to tell them what would really help them and not just

what would be easy to hear.

I have to stand before God and give an

account of my life and the gift God has put

in me, and so do you. God is not going to

want to hear that we disobeyed Him because

we did not want to make anyone angry.

I have to stand before God and give an account of my

life and the gift God has put in me, and so do you.

God is not going to want to hear that we disobeyed

Him because we did not want to make anyone angry.

If you would like more teaching on this subject, my

book Approval Addiction would be an excellent

resource for you.

BUILD SOME BORDERS

I have a strong personality, and Dave is more

easygoing. He has no problem with my doing as I

please most of the time. For example, when we go

out to eat, he usually lets me choose which

restaurant we will go to because it really doesn’t

matter much to him. He is also agreeable to most of

the social plans I make; he does not complain about

or resist things I want to do. But as pleasant and laid-

back as Dave is, he also has limits, and he refuses to

let me (or anyone else) control him. In many

situations, he will only let me go so far. And do you

know what? I respect him for that.

In many relationships, one of the two people—

whether friends, work associates, marriage partners

—will have a stronger personality than the other.

Some people naturally take the “lead roles,” and

others really thrive as followers. I am a leader, and I

will lead no matter where I go or what I do. I don’t

take charge of situations on purpose; leading is just

who I am. Being a strong leader is part of my

personality. But remember: It’s one thing to be a

leader; it’s something else altogether to be a

controller or a manipulator. Most of us with strong

leader-type personalities have to find this out one

way or the other. I spent years trying to control

everyone and everything and finally realized there

was a big difference between control and true godly

leadership.

If you have a leader or a person with a strong

personality or will in your life, I want you to know

something that may surprise you: Most strong people

do not respect those who allow them to be

controlling. These people would really respect you

for creating some limits you will not allow them to

cross, just as I respect Dave for not allowing my

strong personality to control him.

You are responsible for standing up for

yourself. No one else will build the borders

you need. If you are tired of feeling controlled,

begin to set some limits.

Even though you may be a milder, more peace-

loving, more easygoing personality, you must build

some borders in your life. If you don’t, you will one

day look back over your life and feel that people used

you, abused you, walked all over you, and generally

treated you without respect. You may end up bitter

and resentful, and that will not be anyone’s fault but

yours. You are responsible for standing up for

yourself. No one else will build the borders you need.

If you are tired of feeling controlled, begin to set

some limits. If you have allowed people to have their

way all the time, they may find it difficult when you

first establish borders, but you must persist and do

so for their sake, as well as for your sake.

CONFRONT CONTROL

I used to be extremely controlling and manipulative.

I specifically remember several friends whose

personalities were not as strong as mine and who

were easygoing and adaptable. I was very strong in

my interactions with these people; I bossed them

around and controlled them with my anger. They

knew they would suffer my rejection and harsh

words if they made me angry.

I look back now on those relationships and think,

Why didn’t one of them ever say to me, “Shut up,

Joyce! Run your own life; and quit telling me what to

do with mine!” I really believe I would have changed

a lot sooner, had someone simply confronted me. If

someone is controlling you, don’t just get angry at

that person, but take responsibility and stand up to

him or her. People certainly should not be

controlling, but you are as guilty as they are if you

allow yourself to be controlled. Even though they

may get angry when you initially confront them, they

will respect you in the end.

Control and manipulation drain the energy, joy, and

vitality from us and suffocate our minds, wills,

emotions, relational abilities, and other aspects of

our lives. If we are going to choose to enjoy our lives,

then we must also choose to confront the people who

try to control us.

As I mentioned previously, once we have allowed

people to control us for a period of time, confronting

them can be very difficult. It can be hard on both the

one who confronts and the one being confronted.

The one confronting is not accustomed to taking a

position of strength toward the controller and the

controller may not like it! But the goal of

confrontation is to expose the truth of the control in

the relationship and then to break established

relational habits and patterns. New patterns of

relating to one another with mutual respect must

then be developed; and that takes time and effort.

The controller’s fleshly nature may throw a few fits

before he or she finally decides to understand and

accept that the relationship must change.

The goal of confrontation is to expose the truth of

the control in the relationship and then to break

established relational habits and patterns.

Whether you are being controlled by a child who

screams in the grocery store when you won’t buy

him a piece of candy, an elderly parent who tries to

make you feel guilty for not doing more for them, or

a boss who requires you to prioritize your job over

family, you must be the one to stop the control. The

controller will not do it. But with God’s help, you can

—and when you do, you’ll find yourself with more

peace, joy, and inner strength than you have ever

known.

Don’t allow the fear of losing a relationship cause

you to submit to being controlled and manipulated.

Any relationship worth having must be one of

mutual love and respect. If anyone should be in

control, it is God, but even He respects our right to

free choice. He leads, guides, directs, and suggests,

but He never forces, controls, or manipulates.

LIVE TO PLEASE GOD

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Herbert B. Swope

said, “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I

can give you the formula for failure—which is: Try to

please everybody.” Indeed, trying to please people

leads not only to failure but to great frustration.

Colossians 3:22 encourages us to seek to serve and

please God in everything we do, and not to be

“pleasers of men.” We cannot live to please God if we

seek to please other people by allowing them to

control us. We must choose whether we will serve

God or another human being. We cannot please both

God and man; we cannot serve two masters. Yet,

many people are trying to serve God while also

keeping the people around them happy. That will not

work!

We cannot please both God and man;

we cannot serve two masters.

The Bible addresses this subject in several places.

Jesus says in John 12:42, 43,

And yet [in spite of all this] many even of the leading

men (the authorities and the nobles) believed and

trusted in Him. But because of the Pharisees they did

not confess it, for fear that [if they should

acknowledge Him] they would be expelled from the

synagogue. For they loved the approval and the

praise and the glory that come from men [instead of

and] more than the glory that comes from God. [They

valued their credit with men more than their credit

with God] (emphasis mine).

The apostle Paul understood that we cannot please

both God and man. He wrote, “Now am I trying to

win the favor of men, or of God? . . . If I were still

seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond

servant of Christ (the Messiah)” (Galatians 1:10). In

this verse, Paul is basically saying, “If I were a man-

pleaser, if I were trying to keep everybody around

me happy, I would not be an apostle of the Lord Jesus

Christ. God would not be using me the way He’s

using me. I would not have the spiritual insight and

understanding I have or be able to help people the

way I do.” In other words, so much of Paul’s destiny

would have been stolen had he tried to please people

instead of God. I believe the same is true for you. God

has a great plan and purpose for your life, but you

will have to seek to please Him instead of catering to

other people if you want to accomplish and enjoy all

He has for you. The Bible does say we should live to

please others, and even try to adapt ourselves to

them and their opinions, but that in no way means

we should disobey God in order to obey man.

I want to encourage you today to break free from

people’s opinions, judgments, criticisms,

expectations, and thoughts of you. Do not allow

others to influence your life inappropriately. Seek

God, follow Him, and be true to your own heart. Care

more about what God thinks than what people think,

and want His will more than you want to be popular.

Under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, make your

own choices and live your own life.

CHAPTER 23

Cultivate Good Habits

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is

not an act, but a habit.”

—ARISTOTLE

A habit, according to Webster’s Dictionary, is “an

acquired pattern of behavior that has become almost

involuntary as a result of frequent repetition.” In

other words, habits are things we have done so many

times we can do them without thinking about them.

We can have good habits—such as eating healthily,

exercising regularly, paying our bills on time,

keeping a clean house, or spending time in God’s

Word. We can also have bad habits—such as eating

too much junk food, biting our fingernails, not taking

proper care of our belongings, or watching television

shows that promote ungodly values and principles.

Remember, habits are formed through repetition.

The old saying is true, “Practice does make perfect.”

When you try to break a bad habit and develop a

good one, you will have to commit to repeating your

new thoughts or behaviors on a regular basis. At

first, it will not be easy because you are not

accustomed to it. It will need to be programmed into

your attitudes and actions by virtue of doing it over

and over again. That takes discipline, of course, but I

can assure you, the benefits of breaking bad habits

and cultivating good ones are worth the effort.

NINE HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE CHRISTIANS

One of our responsibilities as Christians is to live in

ways that cause other people to hunger for a

relationship with Jesus Christ. When we do this, we

are being effective as believers, we are bearing fruit

in God’s kingdom, and we enjoy our lives. To be

successful as Christians, we need to break our bad

habits and develop and maintain good ones, so for

the remainder of this chapter, I will focus on nine

habits of highly effective Christians.

To be successful as Christians, we need

to break our bad habits and develop

and maintain good ones.

1. Make a Habit of Spending Time with God. I

believe one of the very best habits a person can have

is spending time with God on a regular basis. These

moments with Him can include praying, reading and

studying the Bible, singing or playing worship music,

quietly listening for His voice, or other ways of

experiencing His presence.

David, whom the Bible calls “a man after God’s own

heart” (see 1 Samuel 13:14), prayed and communed

with God every morning. He wrote, “In the morning

You hear my voice, O Lord; in the morning I prepare

[a prayer, a sacrifice] for You and watch and wait [for

You to speak to my heart]” (Psalm 5:3). As we read

the book of Psalms, much of which David wrote, we

see that he also prayed at noon and at night. He lived

a lifestyle of continual prayer and communion with

God.

When we think of prayer and spending time with

God, we must remember that it is a privilege. It is not

a burden or an obligation, but a great honor because

it connects mere human hearts with the awesome

power of God. The result of our prayers, according to

James 5:16, is that “tremendous power” is made

available to us.

The enemy knows the dimension of power that is

released from heaven to earth when believers pray,

so he does everything he can to hinder our spending

time with God. He knows we become highly effective

as Christians when we pray, so he tries to distract us,

keep us too busy to pray, or convince us that God is

not listening to our prayers. All these things are lies.

Do not believe them, but make a priority of spending

time in faith-filled prayer every day.

In addition to praying, we also need to set aside time

to read and study the Bible. I have emphasized the

importance of God’s Word in this book already, so I

encourage you to reread the chapters entitled “Start

with God” and “Follow Directions” for more insight

on the life-changing truth and power of the Word.

I want to call your attention to two specific scriptures

that teach us how the Word works in our lives.

Second Corinthians 3:18 says, “And all of us, as with

unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in

the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord,

are constantly being transfigured into His very own

image in ever increasing splendor and from one

degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the

Lord [Who is] the Spirit.” In other words, because we

continue to study the Word, we are constantly being

changed and transformed for the better.

I also want you to remember what Jesus said in John

8:31, 32: “If you abide in My word [hold fast to My

teachings and live in accordance with them], you are

truly My disciples. And you will know the Truth, and

the Truth will set you free.” Making a habit of living

by God’s Word will enable you to know the truth,

which will set you free from any kind of bondage

that affects your life.

Spending time with God will increase

your joy and cause you to look hopefully

and expectantly at your future.

I repeat: One of the best habits you can ever develop

is to spend time with God. Pray, read His Word, study

His Word, and listen for His voice. Guard your

fellowship with Him carefully and make sure it

becomes a strong habit in your life. Spending time

with God will increase your joy and cause you to look

hopefully and expectantly at your future. In His

Presence is fullness of joy (see Psalm 16:11).

2. Make a Habit of Keeping Your Conscience Clear.

Nothing will keep us from enjoying life like feeling

guilty all the time. In fact, Jesus died to forgive our

sins and to cleanse us from guilt and condemnation.

Anytime we do anything wrong and then earnestly

repent, He forgives us completely and forgets about

our sin. Therefore, we have no need or reason to live

our lives feeling guilty.

One of the best ways to avoid a guilty conscience is to

do our best to do what is right. In Acts 24:16, Paul

said, “Therefore I always exercise and discipline

myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal

affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires,

endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear

(unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense

toward God and toward men.” He did everything he

could to make right choices so he did not have to

endure a guilty conscience; he disciplined himself so

he would not feel guilty later.

One of the best ways to avoid a guilty conscience

is to do our best to do what is right.

No one is perfect; no matter how we try to be

blameless, we will sin. When we do, we must

remember forgiveness is always available through

Jesus Christ. If our conscience is guilty because we

know we have not treated a person right, we should

admit it without excuse, apologize, and ask God and

the person we have offended to forgive us.

For a surefire way to keep from feeling guilty, if you

can’t do what you are about to do in faith (with

confidence), do not do it (see Romans 14:23)! When

you are full of guilt and condemnation, you cannot

be effective for God, nor can you enjoy your life; but

when you are walking in the confidence of

forgiveness and a clear conscience, you will feel free

and happy, and He will use you in amazing ways.

3. Make a Habit of Living by Faith, One Day at a

Time. Some people would question whether or not

faith can be a habit. They are the ones who view

faith as some spiritual, ethereal dynamic reserved

for monks and mystics. I believe faith can definitely

be a habit because, far from being mystical, faith is

extremely practical and an invaluable habit to

cultivate in our everyday lives.

Simply put, faith is confidence and assurance; it is a

positive attitude (which can certainly become a

habit) and a basic, foundational trust in God for

every aspect of life. Faith empowers us to be

optimistic and hopeful about what we cannot see

(see Hebrews 11:1), and it forms a habit of knowing

that what we can see in the world and its

circumstances are not nearly as powerful as God,

Whom we do not see.

Faith is a positive view of God and His ability

and willingness to help us; and faith

always expects something good to happen.

Faith is a positive view of God and His ability and

willingness to help us; and faith always expects

something good to happen (see Psalm 27:13, 14).

Faith believes God’s Word is superior to human

thoughts, reasoning, or feelings, and clings to the

truth of His Word, no matter what. Believing God

releases joy and peace in our lives (see Romans

15:13).

When we live by faith, we take life one day at a time,

trusting God in everything that takes place. I like to

say, “Faith today trusts God with yesterday and for

tomorrow.” Faith believes it will have grace for

tomorrow, tomorrow.

4. Make a Habit of Doing Your Best. Andrew

Carnegie, who made a fortune in the steel industry,

observed, “People who are unable to motivate

themselves must be content with mediocrity, no

matter how impressive their other talents.” I believe

mediocrity is unacceptable for a Christian. We must

be motivated to excellence and to our very best in

whatever we do. God is an excellent God; everything

He does is first-rate, and He never gives less than His

best. As His representatives, we should be excellent

too. Paul urges us to “learn to sense what is vital, and

approve and prize what is excellent and of real

value.” (Philippians 1:10). As we press past

mediocrity and make excellence a habit in our lives,

we will sense God’s joy in our lives and be good

examples to the world.

One way to ensure we do our best and strive for

excellence in everyday situations is to follow

Matthew 7:12, which is often called “The Golden

Rule”: “So then, whatever you desire that others

would do to and for you, even so do also to and for

them.” In other words, treat others as you would like

to be treated. Here are some practical, everyday ways

to do that:

• Don’t leave messes for other people to clean up.

• Don’t take the last of the coffee in the coffee pot, the

paper in the copier, or the toilet tissue at home and

not replace it.

• Don’t park in handicapped spaces if you are not

handicapped.

• Don’t hit someone’s car in a parking lot and fail to

leave your contact information.

• Say “please” and “thank you.”

• Smile.

• Don’t interrupt others when they are talking unless

it is an emergency.

• Don’t brush crumbs off the table and onto the floor.

• Don’t lie about anything.

• Don’t be dishonest in any way.

• Don’t take office supplies home from your

workplace (pens, paper, paper clips, rubber bands,

etc.).

• Don’t run copies of material for your Bible study or

Sunday school class on the copier at work without

permission.

• If you are going to clean something, clean it

thoroughly.

• Make people feel valuable.

This list could go on and on. I am sure you have a

very good sense of how you like to be treated, so just

remember that as you interact with other people.

Everything we do is a seed we sow. We must be

determined to be excellent if we want to reap an

excellent harvest, which means we have to resist the

temptation to live mediocre lives. If we are excellent

in every way, we will be highly effective Christians.

5. Make a Habit of Handling Criticism in a Godly

Way. Elbert Hubbard, an American writer, said,

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to

endure [criticism] without resentment,” and I believe

that is true. Everyone who is truly successful in life

has to deal with criticism. Sometimes criticism comes

from people who do not understand what we are

doing, cannot see the vision we see, or are jealous of

our success. Whatever the source, criticism can be

painful, but learning to deal with it in a godly way is

always a great testimony to the people around us.

In Matthew 10:10–14, Jesus tells His disciples how to

deal with criticism or with people who will not

receive their message. His advice: “Shake it off.” He

says, “And whoever will not receive and accept and

welcome you nor listen to your message, as you leave

that house or town, shake the dust [of it] from your

feet” (v. 14).

Jesus Himself was criticized frequently, and He

usually ignored it (see Matthew 27:11, 12). Often, the

best way to respond to criticism is to say nothing at

all. When you must respond, here are a few

suggestions for handling criticism in a godly way:

• Don’t get defensive. Remember, God is your

defense; He is your vindicator.

• Don’t get angry or upset. Keep your peace, because

peace brings power.

• Don’t fall into the trap of pride and say, “How dare

that person criticize me!”

• Don’t retaliate with criticism toward your critic.

• Don’t assume your critic is wrong without being

willing to examine yourself.

• Don’t assume your critic is right and start feeling

guilty without consulting God.

• Forgive completely. Make a habit of forgiving

quickly, before bad feelings take root in your heart.

• Thank your critics, because they may do more for

you in life than those who always agree with you.

Make a habit of trusting God with your reputation.

When you are criticized, respond in a way that

honors Him. The Bible says only a fool hates

correction, and although I believe that is true, I must

say that in my life I have only known one person who

I can honestly say appreciated it and it wasn’t me,

although I wish I could say it was. Probably like most

of you I am somewhere between hating correction

and loving it, but I am striving to have a positive

attitude toward correction as well as everything else

in life.

6. Make a Habit of Practicing Peace. Thomas á

Kempis, a German priest and writer who lived

around the turn of the fifteenth century, wrote,

“First, keep the peace within yourself, then you can

also bring peace to others.” All around us, people are

upset; they need peace. We need look no further than

the Internet, our daily newscasts, or the break room

at work to hear about people who are angry or

offended. One of the qualities that sets believers

apart from the world is the ability to have inner

peace. Even when circumstances are difficult or

frightening, or when others would feel justified in

being furious, we can have peace in our hearts.

One of the qualities that sets believers apart

from the world is the ability to have inner peace.

In John 14:27, Jesus makes it clear peace is available

to us: “Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now

give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I

give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled,

neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves

to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit

yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and

cowardly and unsettled.]” We see from this verse

that peace is a choice. We can either allow ourselves

to be “agitated and disturbed” or not. Jesus says we

can permit ourselves to be fearful and unsettled—or

we can choose to be at peace.

Years ago, I had a habit of getting upset about every

little thing that did not go my way. I really threw fits,

making myself and everyone around me miserable.

Now I have made a habit of staying calm and at

peace. Jesus says in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed (enjoying

enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous—with

life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation,

regardless of their outward conditions) are the

makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be

called the sons of God!” When we make and keep

peace around us, and when we become habitually

peaceful, people know we belong to God and we

become very effective as believers.

7. Make a Habit of Finishing What You Start. We

all need a sense of purpose and accomplishment in

life. We need to know we are making progress and

actually completing things when we invest our time

and energy. We need to be diligent to finish what we

start because that makes us trustworthy. When we

begin projects or activities and then leave them

undone, we end up with a sense of failure and cause

other people to feel they cannot depend on us.

We need to be careful and thoughtful before we

commit to anything, making sure that when we

start, we can follow through to completion.

The Bible teaches diligence, steadfastness, and

determination—all of which have to do with

finishing what we start. Jesus gives us great advice in

the form of a question when he asks, “Which of you,

wishing to build a farm building, does not first sit

down and calculate the cost [to see] whether he has

sufficient means to finish it?” (Luke 14:28). He goes

on to say, “Otherwise, when he has laid the

foundation and is unable to complete [the building],

all who see it will begin to mock and jeer at him,

saying, This man began to build and was not able

(worth enough) to finish” (vv. 29, 30). Clearly, our

ability to finish what we start speaks volumes to

those around us. We need to be careful and

thoughtful before we commit to anything, making

sure that when we start, we can follow through to

completion. Finishing what we start is part of being

people of excellence, integrity, and effectiveness.

8. Make a Habit of Living by Discernment. There’s

more to life than meets the eye—especially the

natural eye. Things are not always what they appear

to be, so we must learn to be discerning. Simply

defined, discernment is spiritual understanding, and

developing it takes practice. As we grow in our

understanding of God’s Word and in our

relationships with Him, we also grow in our ability to

discern.

As we grow in our understanding of God’s

Word and in our relationships with Him,

we also grow in our ability to discern.

To live by discernment, we have to pay attention to

our hearts. We have to know when we do not feel

right about something in our hearts. For example,

let’s say a businessman has been looking for a

certain kind of business deal for quite some time and

an opportunity for such a deal finally presents itself.

As he reviews the paperwork, the deal appears to be

sound. But when he begins to pray about entering

into the deal, he senses he should not do it. Even

though everything appears to be in order, he just

does not have peace about the deal. The more he

prays, the more he feels he should not do business

with the people involved in the deal. This man is

looking beyond the natural elements of the deal and

using his discernment.

The best way for me to help you learn to live by

discernment is to offer this simple advice: if you

don’t feel right about something in your heart do not

do it. You may discover later why you didn’t feel good

about it, but you may not. Either way, you can be at

peace knowing you used your discernment instead of

making decisions based on your mind, your

emotions, or natural circumstances. Discernment is a

precious gift from God that will help us avoid a lot of

trouble in life if we pay attention to it.

9. Make a Habit of Being Generous. The world is

full of selfish, stingy, greedy people. But God wants

us to be generous. In fact, 2 Corinthians 9:7 tells us,

“God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other

things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without)

a cheerful (joyous, ‘prompt to do it’) giver [whose

heart is in his giving].”

Oil magnate John D. Rockefeller was one of the

wealthiest men of his day, but he understood the

importance of generosity, and urged others, “Think

of giving not as a duty, but as a privilege.” I heartily

agree with that statement, and know it to be good

advice. I have found few things in life to be more

rewarding than helping and giving to others. Let me

encourage you to become a giver and develop the

habit of giving in every way you can think of. For

example:

• Give help

• Give encouragement

• Give compliments

• Give money

• Give gifts

• Give yourself

• Give time

• Give your talents and abilities

• Give forgiveness

Giving makes the devil mad. He wants us to be

selfish, self-centered, stingy, and greedy. People who

are self-centered are some of the most miserable,

unproductive people on earth, and selfish Christians

are useless and unfruitful in God’s kingdom. But

those who give cheerfully and generously are happy,

fulfilled, and highly effective.

CHAPTER 24

Let God Lead

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take

the first step.”

—MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

I believe one of the secrets of enjoying our lives is to

let God lead us instead of trying to make our own

way through life. Knowing we are in partnership

with God in all we do is extremely rewarding. We are

limited in our understanding of what is best for us,

but God knows and He will guide us. We are unable

to see the future, even into next week or next year,

but God can see every day of the rest of our lives. We

do not know what experiences, opportunities, or

skills we will need to fulfill God’s plan for our lives,

but He does and He gives them to us. We cannot

perceive what will satisfy us and make us truly

happy in life, but God knows exactly how to bless us

and exactly what we need to live richly rewarding

lives and to be deeply satisfied.

Let me ask you: Are you following God or trying to

get Him to follow you? If we insist upon trying to

make our own way and follow our human reasoning,

God will allow us to do so, but we may end up

unhappy. If, instead, we determine to let God lead us

through every day and every situation, one step at a

time, we will enjoy the fruitfulness, blessing, grace,

peace, and joy that only come from following Him.

FEELINGS ARE FICKLE

Many people allow their feelings to lead them

through each day. They make decisions about what

to do, where to go, and who to spend time with based

on how they feel. They say things like, “Well, I feel

like lying on the couch all day, so that’s what I’ll do

today,” or “I don’t really feel like going to work today,

so I’ll call in sick,” or “I don’t feel like visiting my

grandmother in the nursing home today, so maybe

I’ll go next week if I feel like it.” Following our

feelings may offer us temporary happiness, but they

will never give us permanent joy.

The problem with feelings is that they are fickle;

they simply are not trustworthy.

The problem with feelings is that they are fickle; they

simply are not trustworthy. Feelings are based on

emotions, and they go up and down like a roller

coaster. On a Monday morning, a man can feel he

will love a woman forever, but by Monday night he

feels she is not giving him enough space. One week, a

couple can feel they are ready to have a child, but the

next week they can feel they don’t want

responsibility of being parents. A woman can feel

she wants to dye her hair bright red when she walks

into a beauty salon, but as soon as another client

walks by with bright red hair, she can feel she wants

to go blonde instead.

Everywhere we look, people are running their lives

according to their feelings! All around us, we hear

the constant chorus: “I feel happy! I feel sad! I feel

depressed! I feel good! I feel bad!”

“I feel, I feel, I feel” is no way to build a successful,

enjoyable, productive life. Feelings and emotions are

part of the soul of a person, not part of the spirit. The

soul seeks to satisfy itself and its fleshly desires, but

the spirit of a person longs to please God because it is

where the Spirit of God dwells. God speaks to and

leads us in our spirits, so we need to build up our

spiritual strength instead of feeding our souls by

letting our feelings guide us.

Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the Word that God speaks is

alive and full of power [making it active, operative,

energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-

edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the

breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of

joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our

nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and

judging the very thoughts and purposes of the

heart.” In other words, the Word of God can help us

distinguish between what is carnal and fleshly, or

“soulish,” and what is spiritual. We need to know the

difference so we can follow God and not allow our

feelings to lead us.

The Word of God can help us distinguish

between what is carnal and fleshly,

or “soulish,” and what is spiritual.

According to Galatians 5:17, “the desires of the flesh

are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of

the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human

nature); for these are antagonistic to each other

[continually withstanding and in conflict with each

other], so that you are not free but are prevented

from doing what you desire to do” (emphasis mine).

Following the flesh may be tempting at times, but in

the end, it will actually keep you from doing what

you really want to do. As you follow the Spirit of God,

though, you will be free to experience and enjoy the

things He knows you really long for in the depths of

your heart.

Following the flesh may be tempting at times,

but in the end, it will actually keep you

from doing what you really want to do.

I am certainly not encouraging you to deny your

feelings, because that is not healthy. I am simply

urging you not to allow them to control your life or

dictate your decisions. Instead, acknowledge your

feelings, but realize they are merely feelings; and

pray, seek God, and allow Him to be your guide.

LISTEN FOR GOD’S VOICE

God promises to lead us and guide us. He says in

Isaiah 30:21, “And your ears will hear a word behind

you, saying, This is the way: walk in it, when you turn

to the right hand and when you turn to the left.”

We need to choose to listen to God because He will

speak to us. We need to quiet all the noise in our lives

and become sensitive to His still, small voice. We will

always have to fight the voices trying to compete

with God for our obedience. Our feelings and mind-

sets try to influence us; our friends and families may

want to tell us what to do; the enemy whispers to our

minds; the past reminds us not to make the same

mistakes we made before; and the rules and

regulations of the world try to convince us we must

follow them. None of these voices or influences will

lead us into truth and life. Only God can be trusted to

say, “This is the way; walk in it.” We have to tune our

ears to His voice by staying in close communion with

Him through prayer, Bible study, and worship so we

will recognize His voice when He speaks.

Most of the time, God does not speak to us in an

audible voice. We hear Him in our hearts. Sometimes

He speaks by reminding us of a truth or principle

from His Word; sometimes He gives us thoughts or

ideas we could not have had on our own; sometimes

we simply have a strong sense of knowing what to

do.

God does not only speak in the urgent or important

matters of life. He also guides us in the most

seemingly insignificant situations. He does this

because He loves us and wants to lead us in every

aspect of our lives.

God does not only speak in the urgent or

important matters of life. He also guides us in the

most seemingly insignificant situations.

For example, I was on my way home one day and

intended to stop and get a cup of coffee, when I had a

strong impression that I should call my secretary and

see if she wanted a cup too. When I called, she said,

“I was just standing here thinking, I would love a

good cup of coffee right now.” You see, God wanted to

give her the desire of her heart, and He wanted to

work through me. I did not hear a loud voice, nor see

an angel, nor did I have a vision; I simply had an

inner sensing that I should offer her a cup of coffee.

As a result, we both experienced great joy in

knowing God cares about the smallest details of our

lives.

Quite often we ignore little things like this. The more

we do, the harder it is to develop sensitivity to the

Holy Spirit. Had I ignored the prompting in my heart,

the worst thing that could have happened would

have been for her to say she did not want any coffee.

In that case, she would have had the blessing of

knowing I was thinking of her. If someone is on your

heart, I encourage you to pray for that person or call

him or her and say, “I was just thinking of you.” You

never know how a seemingly small thing like a

phone call can alter a person’s day or maybe even

change someone’s life. Let me encourage you today

to keep your heart sensitive to God’s voice. He will

speak to your heart and lead you in the way you

should go. Do not let disobedience, distractions, or

the noise and busy pace of the world cause you to

miss His voice when He speaks, but stay quiet and

peaceful on the inside so you can hear Him when He

speaks to you. Remember this: Each time we disobey

God, it becomes more difficult to hear Him the next

time He speaks; but every time we obey Him, it gets

easier to hear and be led by His Spirit.

LOOK FOR GRACE

In the Old Testament, Joshua had the job of leading

God’s people, the Israelites, into the Promised Land.

The priests of that day carried the ark, which carried

and represented God’s presence, at the head of the

procession, and all the people followed it. In Joshua

3:2, 3 we read, “After three days the officers went

through the camp, commanding the people: When

you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God

being borne by the Levitical priests, set out from

where you are and follow it.”

The officers’ command to the people to follow the ark

is similar to my message to you in this chapter. Just

as they encouraged the people to follow God’s

presence, I encourage you to follow God.

You may have a heart to follow God, but you are not

sure how to do it. One way is to listen for Him to

speak to your heart, as I have written already.

Another way is to follow peace. Only God can give

you peace in your heart, so always check your heart

when you are trying to make a decision. Don’t do

anything that leaves you restless or unsure in your

heart. Wait until you reach a decision that brings

peace, and then you can move forward in

confidence.

A third way to follow God is to look for His grace

upon a situation, an endeavor, or a decision. When

God’s grace is upon something, it comes easily to us

and we can trust that He approves of it. Grace is

God’s ability coming to us and enabling us to do

something with relative ease. The project we are

attempting may require effort on our part, but it is

not a great struggle and we are filled with the

confidence that it can be done. If God’s grace is not

present, everything is difficult and frustrating. It is

like trying to operate a rusty machine that has not

been oiled in years. I remember all the years I tried

to change myself and the more I tried the more

frustrated I became. I failed to pray and ask God to

do it by His grace. He promises to give us more and

more grace to help us overcome all of our evil

tendencies if we will ask Him instead of striving to do

it ourselves (see James 4:6).

Grace is God’s ability coming to us and enabling

us to do something with relative ease.

Having grace does not remove all the obstacles from

our way or cause all the challenges to disappear. We

may still need to fight some battles, but we do so with

the clear sense that God is on our side, winning the

battle for us. When God’s grace is on something and

we are following Him, the impossible is made

possible through the power of the Holy Spirit.

After many years, I have learned when God’s grace is

present and when it is not. I am finished trying to

accomplish anything without God’s grace. I do not

want to struggle anymore, and I am sure you don’t

either.

Sometimes we want other people to do things God

has not given them grace to do. Just because we think

people should do certain things does not mean God

wants them to do those things. When I try to force

Dave to do something he does not have God’s grace to

do, all it does is cause strife between us. The right

thing for me to do is pray, “God, if this is what You

want, I ask You to convince Dave and give him grace

for it.”

Sometimes, everything about a situation seems right

to me, but there does not seem to be the grace—the

supernatural ability—to accomplish it at that time.

Part of following God is to work with His timing and

to sense not only His grace to accomplish something,

but His grace for the right moment in which to do it.

In these situations, I pray, “God, I believe this is the

right thing to do, but the timing just isn’t working

out. Show me when the time is right.”

I used to do everything in my own timing, whenever

I felt it was right. If I felt like making a comment to

someone, I made it. If I wanted to talk about a matter

with Dave at a particular time, I forced the

conversation right that minute.

Learn to follow God by looking for His grace in

the matters of your everyday life. Watch to see

where He is helping you, speaking to you, fighting

for you, and making things easy for you.

But I have learned now to be more sensitive to the

Holy Spirit’s leading. I look for His grace not only in

situations but also in timing. Sometimes I can sense

in my heart to simply wait a few moments, hours,

days, or weeks. I do not always understand why I

need to wait; I simply know in my heart I need to

delay my words or actions until I feel free to speak or

act.

Learn to follow God by looking for His grace in the

matters of your everyday life. Watch to see where He

is helping you, speaking to you, fighting for you, and

making things easy for you. Wherever He makes the

impossible possible, wherever His supernatural

abilities are evident in your natural circumstances,

His grace is there.

CHOOSE TO FOLLOW

Psalm 32:8, 9 issues a clear call for us to choose to

follow God: “I [the Lord] will instruct you and teach

you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with

My eye upon you. Be not like the horse or the mule,

which lack understanding, which must have their

mouths held firm with bit and bridle, or else they

will not come with you.” In these verses, God makes

plain His desire to lead and guide us, but He also tells

us not to be stubborn. We need to follow Him

willingly and joyfully.

We read a similar scripture in Isaiah 30:15, 16: “For

thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In

returning [to Me] . . . you shall be saved; in quietness

and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength.

But you would not, and you said, No! We will speed

[our own course] on horses! Therefore you will

speed [in flight from your enemies]! You said, We

will ride upon swift steeds [doing our own way]!

Therefore will they who pursue you be swift.” Here,

God is saying, basically, “I tried to lead you. I told you

which way to go. I told you what to do—and you

would not do it. You insisted upon going your own

way!” As a result, the people’s enemies pursued them

swiftly. That’s what happens when we choose to go

our own way instead of following God.

I worked at a church in St. Louis for five years. I

really liked my job there, but the time came when

God wanted me to move on to something new. He

said to me, Now I want you to take this ministry and

go north, south, east, and west. I don’t need you here

anymore. I want you to leave this place.

Now that place was where my ministry started. I had

a fulfilling job, a regular paycheck, and my name on

my office door. But God said, I’m finished with you

here.

How can that be? I wondered. After all, I’m a pillar of

this church. How can the place run without me?

I continued to work at the church for a full year after

God told me to leave, and that year was absolutely

miserable. I did not understand why I was so

unhappy, why there seemed to be no grace to do

what I had had great grace to do in previous years.

Finally, one morning, I cried out to God, “God, what

is wrong?”

He spoke to my heart, Joyce, I told you a year ago to

leave and you’re still here. That was all He said.

God will not force us to follow Him. He

gives us the gift of choice, so we can decide

whether or not we will obey His leading.

God will not force us to follow Him. He gives us the

gift of choice, so we can decide whether or not we

will obey His leading. He will speak; He will lead; He

will guide: He will make His plans and desires clear.

But He will not force His will on us; we must

consciously and deliberately choose to follow Him.

CHAPTER 25

Expect Abundance

“Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes

our abundance.”

—JOHN PETIT-SENN

God is a God of abundance. According to Ephesians

3:20, He “is able to [carry out His purpose and] do

superabundantly, far over and above all that we

[dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest

prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams].”

Remember, one of the reasons Jesus came to earth

was for us to “have and enjoy life, and have it in

abundance (to the full, till it overflows)” (John 10:10,

emphasis mine). We receive the promises of God

through believing them, so make sure you believe for

abundance in your life.

One of the keys to enjoying life is understanding that

God loves us unconditionally and wants to bless us

abundantly. We will never enjoy our lives if we try to

earn His affection and favor. His goodness simply

isn’t for sale; it only comes to us as a gift—free and

undeserved. We cannot earn God’s love, grace,

forgiveness, provision, or kindness; these gifts can

only be received by faith. Perhaps you have heard

the old saying, “Grace is God’s riches at Christ’s

expense.” It’s true; Jesus, through His death on the

cross, paid every debt we could ever owe. We do not

have to struggle, strive, or try to earn or “buy”

anything from God. His gifts are free. Salvation is

free. Grace is free. Favor is free. Mercy is free.

Forgiveness is free. We simply have to learn to

receive what has already been purchased for us and

now belongs to us.

GETTING OR RECEIVING?

We often ask people if they “got” something,

particularly when we speak of spiritual matters. “Did

you ‘get’ a breakthrough?” we want to know, or “Did

you ‘get’ your blessing?” I don’t believe the idea of

“getting” from God is biblical. Let me explain.

The Bible teaches us about receiving, not about

getting. “What’s the difference?” you wonder. Well,

the difference between getting and receiving is

significant. To “get” means “to obtain by struggle and

effort.” I assure you, if the things you have came to

you through struggle and an effort, then you are not

enjoying life.

When everything in your life requires effort,

life becomes frustrating and exhausting—

and that’s not the kind of abundant life Jesus

came to give us.

When everything in your life requires effort, life

becomes frustrating and exhausting—and that’s not

the kind of abundant life Jesus came to give us. No,

God wants us to live with a holy ease, a grace that

keeps us from striving and struggling through life.

That doesn’t mean everything will be easy, but it

means even difficult things can be done with a sense

of God’s presence and help.

“Getting” puts the burden on us to have to figure out

things, to manipulate circumstances, and to try to

force situations to work out a certain way. Receiving,

on the other hand, means we act as receptacles and

simply take in what is being offered freely. We don’t

strive; we simply relax and enjoy what comes to us.

I usually take time in my conferences to teach people

how to “receive” from God rather than struggling to

“get” their needs met. I tell them to relax and take

time to take in by faith what they have asked God for

and then believe they have it—and it will manifest in

their lives. Many people do not know how to receive

from other people or how to receive from God. I’m

sure you know people who struggle with receiving.

They refuse help; they do not want anyone to do

anything nice for them; and they are embarrassed

when people try to help or extend kindness to them.

The inability to receive is often rooted in insecurity

and a poor self-image. The other day, I offered

something to eat to a teenager who was visiting with

someone else and invited him to sit down and watch

a television program with me. I knew he was hungry

and would enjoy the time with me, yet he responded

by saying, “No, I’m all right.” I had to tell him at least

three times that he was welcome to eat and sit with

me and that I would enjoy his company. Finally he

said, “Well, I am a little hungry and I’ll probably

come in after a while and watch television.”

This particular young man has a history of insecurity

and is therefore unable to readily believe people

would want to do something nice for him. He does

not want to appear needy and prefers to act as if he

has no needs and requires no help.

God wants to give us so much more

than we can imagine.

God wants to give us so much more than we can

imagine. He is waiting to pour out blessings in our

lives, and we need to know how to receive—both

from Him and from others. Sometimes God works

miraculously to meet our needs, but He frequently

works through other people. If we pray for help, then

we must let God choose how and through whom He

will send it. We should not be embarrassed to be

needy, because we are all needy in some way or

another. God did not intend for us to be so

independent that we would never need help.

BEGGARS OR BELIEVERS?

One way to learn to receive is to simply believe God

wants to bless us abundantly, not because we think

we deserve to be blessed, but because He is a good,

generous, loving God. Many times, we relate to Him

as beggars instead of believers. Instead of believing

He is good and wants to bless us, we start begging

Him to give us something or do something for us.

God’s Word says we should come boldly to His throne

of grace and receive the help we need (see Hebrews

4:16).

Many times, God wants to give us exactly what we

are asking for and more, but it does not happen

because we do not know how to receive it.

Many times, God wants to give us exactly what we

are asking for and more, but it does not happen

because we do not know how to receive it. I have

known many people who ask God to forgive them

and then never receive the forgiveness He so freely

offers. Sometimes they go on for years saying, “Oh

God, forgive me. God, forgive me. God, please forgive

me. Forgive me, God. Forgive me. Forgive me.” The

truth is they are forgiven! Forgiveness belongs to

every believer. Jesus paid for our forgiveness with

His life. We do not have to beg for it; we simply have

to trust the work of the Cross, believe it belongs to us,

and begin to say from our hearts, “Lord, I thank You

for Your forgiveness. I receive Your forgiveness as a

gift.”

Learning to receive from God was one of the keys

that released joy in my own life. Jesus said, “Ask and

receive that your joy might be full” (see John 16:24).

Years ago, I realized I was asking God for so much I

was not receiving because I had fearfully developed

the attitude of a beggar instead of the attitude of a

believer. The world teaches us, “There’s no such

thing as a free lunch.” We are trained to believe we

must earn, deserve, or pay for everything we want.

We realize we are sinners who have been forgiven

and restored to fellowship with God through His

grace and mercy. We know we do not deserve

anything except punishment, but our minds must be

renewed to believe that God is merciful and that the

very nature of mercy gives blessings when

punishment is deserved.

Thinking we must work for or deserve God’s

blessings is a very religious attitude. It is “stinking

thinking” at its best! Legalistic, religious people think

we need to earn everything—just as the Pharisees

thought in Jesus’ day. They did not want anyone to

have anything he or she did not deserve. When Jesus

healed a man who had been born blind (see John 9),

they were furious because they did not think he

deserved to be healed. This kind of attitude does not

reflect God’s heart of grace and compassion; it is

religious and offensive to Him.

Thinking we must work for or deserve God’s

blessings is a very religious attitude. It is

“stinking thinking” at its best!

Many years ago, I had a neighbor friend I did not

consider to be nearly as spiritual as I was. In those

days, I thought true spirituality consisted of good

works, rules, and regulations, and doing everything

perfectly. My friend did not attend church as often as

I did; she didn’t give as much; she didn’t pray as

much; she didn’t do anything I considered “spiritual”

as often or as well as I thought I did.

The problem was, I was doing all of my “spiritual”

activities with wrong motives. I did them to impress

people, not out of pure obedience to God or out of

love for Him. I didn’t understand that if my neighbor

did just one tiny thing out of pure-hearted love and

obedience to God, her one little bit meant more to the

Lord than the large number of things I did with bad

motives.

At that time, I was asking and believing God to give

me a fur coat. I prayed and prayed and had my faith

worked up for a fur coat. I was sure God would give

me one—because, after all, I was extremely spiritual!

Please keep in mind, the last thing I really needed

was a fur coat, but at that time I usually asked God

for material things because I was not mature enough

to know what was really important in life.

One day my doorbell rang, and I answered it to see

my neighbor standing there brimming with

excitement, holding an enormous box in her arms.

“You won’t believe what God gave me!” she

exclaimed. She went on to explain that a mutual

friend of ours dropped off the box and said to her,

“God told me to give this to you.”

I wondered what it could possibly be. Then she

opened the box, and in it was my fur coat!

I clearly remember thinking, That lady delivered that

box to the wrong house. She meant to bring that coat

to me! Of course, I tried to give a “spiritual” response:

“Well, praise the Lord,” I said. “Glory to God. I’m so

happy for you!”

In my heart, I was saying, God, You’ve got to get her

out of my house—now! I was seething inside with

anger and jealousy. I was furious with God, saying

silently, How could You possibly give her that fur

coat? With the way she acts, how could You? This is

not fair! I am so spiritual and she is not. This is not

right! What about me?

I really thought I deserved a fur coat and my

neighbor did not. I did not understand God’s love

and grace or I did not know that perhaps He was

wooing my neighbor into deeper relationship with

Him through His kindness. I did not realize He

simply wanted to let her know He loved her. For me,

it was all about earning His blessings. But that’s just

not the way it works with the God who loves us. I

also firmly believe God gave her the coat to teach me

a lesson I had to learn in order to go forward with

His plan for my life. I needed an attitude change

much more than I needed a fur coat.

When we try to “buy” from God with our good works

what He wants to give us freely, He sometimes

withholds those things until we learn how to receive

by faith. We have to learn how to receive and to

receive freely from God and to know we do not

always have to deserve everything He wants to give

us. The Bible tells us God’s kindness is what leads us

into relationship with Him (see Romans 2:4). He does

not have to have a reason to bless us. His love for us

is reason enough.

When we try to “buy” from God with our good

works what He wants to give us freely, He

sometimes withholds those things until we learn

how to receive by faith.

LIKE CHILDREN

I believe with all my heart that God wants to do so

much more for us than we can even begin to

imagine. The reason we do not always experience

everything He wants to give us is we really do not

know how to receive from Him the way He wants us

to receive from Him. Jesus teaches us the secret of

receiving properly in Luke 18:17: “Truly I say to you,

whoever does not accept and receive and welcome

the kingdom of God like a little child [does] shall not

in any way enter it [at all].”

This verse does not say “whoever does not ‘get’ the

kingdom of God.” I want to emphasize this because

we need to understand how important the difference

is between getting and receiving. We need a new

mind-set toward God’s blessings—one that can relax

and receive from Him as little children do, not one

that thinks we must strive to earn His goodness.

If I were to walk into a Sunday school class for

kindergarteners at my church and start handing one-

dollar bills to the children, saying, “This is for you,

this is for you, and this is for you,” how do you think

they would respond? I have done this with children

in my conferences before and I guarantee you, they

have no problem receiving the money! Their faces

break into enormous smiles; some even laugh aloud,

but they all keep looking at me expectantly to see if I

will give away anything else!

I have never had a child look at me suspiciously or

say, “No thanks, Joyce, I don’t deserve this dollar.”

Not one of those children has ever said, “I was not

good this week. I can’t take that.” Giving the children

money provokes joy in them. Why? Because I offer

them something they didn’t earn and they know they

don’t deserve. They take the bills gladly! I have no

good reason for giving children dollar bills, but

something happens when I do: I end up with better

relationships with those children.

The same dynamic is at work in our relationships

with God. He wants to be good to us. More than that,

He wants a good relationship with us. He does not

want us to try to perform to earn His blessings; He

simply wants our love. He does things for us because

He loves us, and He wants us to do what we do for

Him from the same motive. Never do anything for

God except out of pure love and obedience to His

Word. We should not love God or even obey Him in

order to get Him to do things for us. We love Him

because He first loved us, and because His goodness

and mercy amaze us. It is the goodness of God that

leads men to repentance (see Romans 2:4), and I

believe it is His goodness that draws us into a deeper

and more intimate relationship with Him than we

could ever imagine.

We must be as innocent and trusting as little children

are if we want to experience the good life available to

us in God’s kingdom. We must “welcome and accept”

His kindness as little children accept gifts and not

feel we have to be good enough to be blessed.

We must be as innocent and trusting as little

children are if we want to experience the good

life available to us in God’s kingdom.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT

Many years ago, God kept leading me to read

Matthew chapter 12 and I could not understand why.

In this chapter, Jesus’ disciples were walking through

grain fields picking and eating spikes of grain

because they were hungry. The Pharisees were

outraged, because they said it was illegal to eat from

the fields on the Sabbath day. Jesus responded by

reminding them that David and his men actually ate

bread from God’s house when they were hungry and

the priests in the temple often violated the Sabbath

and were guiltless (see vv. 3–5).

When I read those words, my mind went “tilt.” How

could someone do something wrong and be guiltless?

I just didn’t understand. But Jesus went on to say to

the Pharisees, “If you had only known what this

saying means, I desire mercy [readiness to help, to

spare, to forgive] rather than sacrifice and sacrificial

victims, you would not have condemned the

guiltless” (v. 7).

The best way I can explain this principle is to share

with you the example God gave me when I was

trying to understand it. He reminded me of a time

when our youngest son, Danny, was about ten years

old. He was a wonderful, fun-loving, affectionate

young man, but he was not very disciplined or

interested in work; he just wanted to have a good

time. He really enjoyed life, and that upset me

because I was more inclined toward working all the

time.

To help Danny develop discipline, Dave and I made a

list of chores we expected him to do and taped it on

his bedroom door. When he did his chores, he

received check marks and when he had enough

check marks he received stars, and when he had

enough stars, he could have a present.

During this same period in Danny’s life, he was often

the target of our neighborhood bully. That mean boy

often took Danny’s ball away from him and threw it

in the sewer, and as a result, Dave and I frequently

heard Danny screaming, “Daddy!!”

Dave had no patience for the bully and the way he

picked on Danny. One day, Danny called for him and

Dave raced out the door and began chasing the bully

down our street, yelling, “You leave my son alone!”

He scared that bully to the point he never bothered

Danny again!

As God was helping me understand what it means to

desire mercy instead of sacrifice, He brought this

scene to my mind and said to my heart, What kind of

parents would you and Dave be if Dave said, “Joyce, I

hear our son screaming for help. Run downstairs and

check his chart. See how he’s done with his chores

this week. If he has enough check marks, I’ll help

him; if not, he’s on his own”?

The Lord showed me that, of course, Dave would

help Danny. If he found out Danny had not done his

chores, he would deal with him later, but he certainly

would not refuse to help him when he was in

trouble. The message God was trying to communicate

to me was that when I made mistakes, He didn’t want

me to try to earn His mercy with good works or

“perfect” behavior; He wanted to give me mercy. He

would deal with me about my weaknesses later; He

would help me and would teach me, and I would

grow, but the fact that I had shortcomings would not

keep him from loving or helping me.

You see, you don’t have to wait until you think you

are perfect for God to help you. You don’t have to

wait until you do everything right for God to be

merciful to you or to bless you. Even on your worst

days, you can still pray and God will still help you

because He is a God of mercy and grace. He wants to

give you favor, and favor means He will do things for

you when you don’t deserve them. He’s a good

Father, a loving, merciful, gracious God who longs to

be good to you if you will just receive it.

You don’t have to wait until you do

everything right for God to be merciful

to you or to bless you.

RECEIVE AND ENJOY

I really want you to be free to receive and enjoy the

abundance God has for you. Jesus says in John 16:24,

“Up to this time you have not asked a [single] thing in

My name [as presenting all that I AM]; but now ask

and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your

joy (gladness, delight) may be full and complete.”

Notice the progression in this verse: ask—in Jesus’

name, based on His merits, not your own works;

receive; have joy. It’s very simple.

I encourage you to begin living like a “receiver” by

approaching God with faith in His goodness and in

what He has done for you. You might begin to pray in

the following ways: “God, I ask You to forgive my

sins, and I receive that forgiveness right now. I

believe You have given it to me. You keep Your word,

and I take Your forgiveness right now and I call

myself free.” Or, “God, I need mercy. I don’t deserve

Your help in this situation, but I’m asking You to be

merciful to me, God, and bless me anyway. Even

though I haven’t earned it, God, I’m asking You to

bless me anyway, and God, I receive it right now. I

receive Your help. I receive Your blessings. I receive

Your favor. I’m asking You, God, to bless me because

You are good, not because I’m good—but because You

are good.”

When you begin to approach God this way, it will

provoke you to praise Him like never before. I cannot

even count how many times a day I say, “Thank You,

Lord, for all Your goodness in my life.” Once I

learned to receive from God rather than feeling I had

to deserve everything I got, my blessings increased

dramatically. The increase in blessing has brought an

increase in praise. I see so many things for which I

can be thankful that it has helped me to stop

complaining so much. My heart overflows with the

thought, God, You are soooooooo good! But in order

to say that, I had to experience His goodness in my

life, and for that to happen, I had to learn how to

receive.

You will see major changes take place in your life as

you learn to receive from God. He wants to bless you

more than you could ever imagine. You belong to

Him; everything He has belongs to you by virtue of

your personal relationship with Him through faith in

His Son. Everything He has is yours, and Jesus

purchased your right to enjoy it when He died on the

cross and was resurrected from the dead. He paid the

debt you owed as a sinner and opened the way for

you to have an unreserved approach to God’s throne

of grace (see Ephesians 3:12).

You will see major changes take place in your life

as you learn to receive from God. He wants to

bless you more than you could ever imagine.

My goal in this book is to help you enjoy your

everyday life, and you really cannot enjoy your life

the way God wants you to without learning to live in

a receiving mode—not with a getting mentality.

Unless you learn to receive from Him, you will miss a

lot of things He wants you to have and a lot of things

He wants to do for you simply because you have a

religious mentality that makes you think you have to

earn and deserve everything. This kind of thinking is

deeply ingrained in people, so you will have to renew

your mind on God’s Word to develop a godly, faith-

filled perspective toward the abundance God wants

to give you. From now on when you ask God for

anything, I encourage you to follow your request by

saying, “I receive it from You now, Father . . . Thank

You!”

CHAPTER 26

Practice Discipline

“Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small

numbers formidable, procures success to the weak,

and esteem to all.”

—GEORGE WASHINGTON

The very thought of being disciplined makes some

people cringe, but I believe discipline is one of the

most important character traits a person can have.

The Bible states that the love of Christ constrains us

(see 2 Corinthians 5:14). In other words, we

discipline ourselves not to earn God’s blessings, but

because we love Him. Without discipline, we miss

much of the enjoyment life has to offer, but when we

discipline ourselves and live disciplined lives, we

have the time, energy, and resources to enjoy today

and embrace tomorrow. In general, I believe

disciplined people feel better about themselves than

those who are undisciplined.

When I think of undisciplined people, I think of those

who want “the perks without the works.” In other

words, they want all the benefits life has to offer, but

they do not want to do the work or make the effort

required to gain those advantages. Then, they often

become jealous of those who do enjoy life’s blessings,

not realizing that they were the ones willing to make

the investments and exercise the discipline needed

for those perks.

All kinds of blessings are available to you, and I do

not want you to miss a single one through lack of

discipline. If you consider yourself a disciplined

person, this chapter can help you improve and

expand your good habits. If you are a person who

rolls your eyes at the thought of being disciplined, I

challenge you to adopt a new attitude right now.

Don’t see discipline as difficult, but look at it as a

means to blessing, peace, fun, and great enjoyment

in life. Don’t see discipline as an enemy, but as a good

friend who will help you be what God wants you to

be and do what He wants you to do. God has actually

given us a spirit of discipline (see 2 Timothy 1:7), but

we must choose whether to use it or not.

Don’t see discipline as an enemy, but as a good

friend who will help you be what God wants you

to be and do what He wants you to do.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “I CAN’T RESIST”?

Let’s say you really like ice cream—to the point you

have a weakness for it. When asked about ice cream,

you respond, “Oh, I love ice cream. I just can’t say no

to a big scoop of ice cream!”

In that case, I would respond, “Yes, you can.”

And you would say, “Oh, no I can’t. I love ice cream

too much.”

I would then proceed to prove to you that you could

indeed pass up an opportunity to eat ice cream.

Imagine yourself in the largest ice cream parlor in

the world. They have every flavor known to man—

even flavors you never even imagined. The clerk

behind the counter asks, “What would you like? Just

name it and I will make it for you.”

You place your order, and soon, the clerk hands you

the biggest, creamiest, most delicious-looking ice

cream treat you have ever seen.

Now, I ask you again, “Can you put down that ice

cream? Can you discipline yourself not to eat it?”

“Heavens no!” you reply. “That would be torture!”

Just as you are about to take your first bite of ice

cream bliss, you hear a click. You then feel a cold,

metal object touch your head. Out of the corner of

your left eye, you see a large hand holding a gun. A

deep voice says, “If you eat that ice cream, I will

shoot you.”

Now, let me ask you again, “Can you pass up that ice

cream?”

Of course, my story is fictitious and far-fetched, but I

am sure you see my point. You can discipline

yourself to say no if you understand the

consequences of not doing so.

The consequences of certain actions, or failure to

take actions, lead to misery and death, both in this

life and in the life to come. For example, Romans 6:23

clearly states that the consequence of sin is death.

Romans 8:6 tells us that allowing our minds to be

undisciplined also leads to death: “Now the mind of

the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy

Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries

arising from sin both here and hereafter].”

Do you believe there are certain temptations in life

you cannot resist? First Corinthians 10:13 says that’s

not true: “For no temptation (no trial regarded as

enticing to sin, no matter how it comes or where it

leads) has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is

not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial

has come to you that is beyond human resistance

and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging

to human experience, and such as man can bear].”

You have the strength to resist and the

power to overcome whatever comes your

way. You can withstand it and have the

discipline needed to bear it patiently.

You have the strength to resist and the power to

overcome whatever comes your way. You can

withstand it and have the discipline needed to bear it

patiently.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE DISCIPLINED

Over the years, I have observed that the disciplined

people I know have a number of characteristics in

common. If you will make the effort to incorporate

these positive traits in your life, you will become a

more disciplined person:

• Disciplined people always go “the extra mile” (see

Matthew 25:1–10).

• Disciplined people don’t take shortcuts, and they do

more than is necessary to “just get by.”

• Disciplined people don’t expect to reap where they

have not sown or hope others will do their work for

them.

• Disciplined people are prepared when doors of

opportunity open.

• Disciplined people never take the easy way or the

path of least resistance. They stay on the narrow

path that leads to life and all its perks (see Matthew

7:13, 14). Even though the narrow path is more

difficult, they choose to walk it.

• Disciplined people are investors, not gamblers. To

gamble, according to the dictionary, is “to play a

game of chance; to take a risk hoping to gain an

advantage that would be much greater than what

was put into the game.” To invest, in contrast, is “to

commit in order to gain a future profit; to give up

something now for future benefits.”

• Disciplined people know how to say no to others

and to themselves. Jewish theologian and

philosopher Abraham J. Heschel said, “Self-respect is

the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with

the ability to say no to oneself.”

As people who want to enjoy our lives today and be

strong and healthy for the future, we need discipline

in many areas of our lives. This includes: our eating

and exercise habits; our sexual lives; the way we

view and handle money and possessions; the way we

use our time; our thoughts, words, and emotions; our

ability to respond to criticism properly and endure

suffering.

DISCIPLINE BEARS GOOD FRUIT

The apostle Paul clearly understood the importance

of discipline, and wrote about it in 1 Corinthians

9:24–27:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners

compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run

[your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and

make it yours. Now every athlete who goes into

training conducts himself temperately and restricts

himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that

will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of

eternal blessedness] that cannot wither. Therefore I

do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do

not box like one beating the air and striking without

an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body

[handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and

subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others

the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should

become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and

rejected as a counterfeit].

I have never heard anyone say discipline is easy, but

the point is not ease; it’s results. Hebrews 12:11 says,

“For the time being no discipline brings joy, but

seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields

a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have

been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists

in righteousness—in conformity to God’s will in

purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living

and right standing with God].”

When discipline is sown, like a good seed,

it yields a harvest of things that fulfill

and satisfy us—things that make us happy

and release peace and joy in our lives.

Discipline is something we do for ourselves; it does

not bring immediate joy or results, but later on, it

yields good fruit to those who submit to it. As the

writer of Hebrews asserts, discipline trains us. It is a

tool for us to use for our good—not a taskmaster for

us to resent or despise. It produces good fruit and

brings about healthy, positive results. When

discipline is sown, like a good seed, it yields a harvest

of things that fulfill and satisfy us—things that make

us happy and release peace and joy in our lives.

DISCIPLINE IS AN ACT OF LOVE

I want you to understand that discipline is a way of

demonstrating love. It’s a way God expresses His love

for us and a way we communicate love to our

children. By disciplining ourselves we show love to

ourselves and prove our love for God.

Throughout His Word, God plainly states that He

disciplines us for one reason: because He loves us.

Hebrews 12:6–10 says, “For the Lord corrects and

disciplines everyone whom He loves. . . . You must

submit to and endure [correction] for discipline; God

is dealing with you as with sons. . . . He disciplines us

for our certain good.” We need to receive God’s

discipline as an expression of His love, and according

to Revelation 3:19, to actually receive it with

enthusiasm: “Those whom I [dearly and tenderly]

love, I tell their faults and convict and convince and

reprove and chasten [I discipline and instruct them].

So be enthusiastic and in earnest and burning with

zeal and repent [changing your mind and attitude].”

Just as God disciplines us because we are His

children, natural parents need to discipline their

sons and daughters. Hebrews 12:7, 8 makes a clear

connection between discipline and parenting: “For

what son is there whom his father does not [thus]

train and correct and discipline? Now if you are

exempt from correction and left without discipline in

which all [of God’s children] share, then you are

illegitimate offspring and not true sons [at all].” Most

child-raising experts say that deep down children

really want and need to be disciplined, even though

they often resist the process. Parents who want to

raise their children in the ways of God will take the

effort to discipline their sons and daughters, and

their efforts will bring positive results in the days to

come. Undisciplined parents raise undisciplined

children, but disciplined parents raise disciplined

children who will bear good fruit as they continue to

grow.

Just as God reveals His love to us in part through His

discipline and parents express love by disciplining

their children, our willingness to discipline ourselves

indicates a healthy love and respect for ourselves.

Imposing discipline on ourselves shows we are

serious about being the best we can be and meeting

our full potential. It also proves we are serious about

enjoying every moment of our lives and being

prepared for the future. A lack of personal discipline,

on the other hand, reveals we are satisfied with

mediocrity and willing to be content with whatever

we can have without effort or inconvenience.

Finally, I want to point out that one way we

demonstrate our love for God is through disciplining

ourselves. In John 21:15–17, Jesus asked Peter three

times if he really loved Him. Peter answered yes all

three times and finally said, “You know that I love

You.” Then Jesus said, “Feed My sheep.” In other

words, “If you love Me, then help other people.” It

requires discipline to choose to live in such a way

that we are regularly helping other people.

One way we demonstrate our love for

God is through disciplining ourselves.

DISCIPLINE BRINGS FREEDOM

I once read the following definition of discipline: “a

state of order maintained by training and control; a

system of regulations for conduct; systematic

training, especially of the mind or character, order,

efficiency, or obedience.”

Notice that discipline is a state maintained by

continual diligence. A one-time effort is not

discipline. We cannot only gain discipline for a few

days or weeks; we must maintain it over the long

term. The apostle Paul understood this, and wrote,

“Stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held

ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery

[which you have once put off]” (Galatians 5:1).

At Joyce Meyer Ministries, we want to be excellent in

every way, and we set very high standards for our

employees. Sometimes, people feel we have too many

rules and regulations when they first come to work

for us. But, over time, many of our employees have

come to me after working for us for a year or so and

said, “Thank you for making me an excellent person.

I never realized how wonderful it could be to know I

am doing my best in everything I do, rather than

simply ‘getting by.’ ”

Some people will always resist discipline because

it imposes restrictions and restraints, but it

actually leads to great freedom.

People can exist and be undisciplined, but they will

never have the good life Jesus intends for them. Some

people will always resist discipline because it

imposes restrictions and restraints, but it actually

leads to great freedom. I challenge you to find out for

yourself! Choose one area of your life in need of

discipline and commit yourself to applying it. No

matter how difficult it is at first, keep at it. It is not

what we do right once that produces good results in

our life, but it is what we do consistently. Remember

the familiar saying, “No pain, no gain!” Don’t be

afraid of the discomfort of discipline. No one has

ever died from discipline, but through discipline

multitudes have learned to truly live.

DISCIPLINE PAYS DIVIDENDS

Although discipline can be difficult, it also eventually

pays dividends. For example, I have always taken

good care of my skin. I never go to bed with makeup

on. I always cleanse my face and use various lotions

and skin products to keep it in good condition. I have

done that all of my life and people tell me all the time

that my skin looks amazing for my age. I enjoy the

compliments, but I also had to be willing to discipline

myself.

Another example is how my husband Dave has

exercised since he was sixteen years old and has

enjoyed good health and an abundance of energy

throughout his life. His body is not sagging like those

of many people his age, because he paid the price of

discipline and is now reaping dividends.

Our ministry has no debt and we have never paid

any interest on anything because we save money and

pay cash for what we need. That frequently means

we have to discipline ourselves to wait to purchase

something we would like to have right now. I am not

saying it is wrong to borrow money, but I think

anyone would agree it is better not to be in debt. A

lot of the debt load in our society today could be

avoided if people were simply willing to discipline

themselves to wait and save. Most of us want what

we want when we want it, but disciplined people say

no to themselves.

When we sacrifice and save money for something we

would like to have we really appreciate it when we

get it. We enjoy it more because there is no debt

attached to it.

I did not discipline myself when it came to

scheduling my time, and more than once I became

sick due to excess stress and pressure. I blamed it on

everything imaginable, but finally had to face the

truth that I needed to start saying no to many things.

When I did change it required discipline because the

fact was I wanted to do everything. I wanted to be

involved in everything and know everything!

Not only does discipline pay dividends, but so does a

lack of discipline. One is a dividend we enjoy, and the

other is one we do not enjoy. I do enjoy having nice

skin, but I did not enjoy the dividend of being tired,

being stressed out, or having headaches, stomach

problems, and hormone imbalances. I believe some

of you reading this book have been reaping some

dividends you don’t like either, but the good news is

you can change your dividends by changing your

choices.

RESULTS OF AN UNDISCIPLINED LIFE

A lack of discipline never leads to anything good.

While it may sound fun for a while, it ultimately

leads to frustration and self-loathing. When we are

disciplined, we gain self-respect; and when we are

not, we don’t feel good about ourselves for very long

and we end up with problems.

When we are disciplined, we gain

self-respect; and when we are not,

we don’t feel good about ourselves for

very long and we end up with problems.

• If we do not take care of our bodies, we will

eventually be sick. Prolonged lack of discipline and

inattention to our health can even affect our

lifestyles and prohibit our doing activities we enjoy.

• If we do not discipline ourselves in financial

matters, we will end up with problems so serious we

cannot hide them, and we may not be able to

overcome them without taking very drastic

measures.

• Failure to discipline ourselves in relationships—

how we speak, act, and treat people—will result in

the loss of those relationships.

• If we do not discipline ourselves in our work—

arriving on time, taking only allowed break times,

respecting company policies, and being productive—

we will eventually lose our jobs.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I want to close this chapter with some questions for

you. I encourage you to answer them honestly and

use the answers to show you where you need to be

more disciplined in your life. Remember, be

enthusiastic about discipline, because the more

disciplined you are, the more you will enjoy your life

today and in the future.

YOUR MOUTH

Do you talk too much or too little?

Do you talk too loudly, too softly, too fast, or too slow?

Do you use a harsh tone of voice when you speak?

Can people tell by the way you speak when you are

frustrated or irritated?

Do you gossip or tell other people’s secrets?

Are you critical or judgmental in your speech?

Are you as good at listening to others as you are at

talking to them?

YOUR MIND

Do you let your thoughts “run wild” or do you cast

down every thought that is not consistent with the

knowledge of God?

Do you spend time meditating on God’s Word and the

things He has done for you?

Do you meditate on insults and offenses?

Do you choose your thoughts carefully or merely

think on whatever falls into your mind?

YOUR HEALTH

Do you eat too much or too little?

Do you eat too often, or not often enough, and feel

bad as a result?

Do you eat too fast, not chewing your food and

thereby missing its nutritional value?

Do you eat healthily and have a well-balanced diet?

Do you eat too much sugar or other types of junk

food?

Do you drink enough water?

Are you an “emotional eater,” one who eats when

you are depressed, lonely, or hurt? Or do you only

eat when you are physically hungry?

Do you get enough exercise in your everyday life?

Do you get enough rest and relaxation?

YOUR FINANCES

Do you spend more than you make?

Do you hoard money or possessions?

Do you tithe?

Do you give offerings and help the poor and needy?

Do you keep your checkbook balanced and know the

state of your finances at all times?

Do you plan ahead for large expenditures?

Do you save money?

Do you have money put away in case of an

emergency?

Do you spend money for emotional reasons?

Do you use shopping as a form of entertainment and

end up spending money you should not spend?

YOUR TIME AND PRIORITIES

Do you discipline yourself to put the most time into

your top priorities?

Do you pray, worship, and spend time with God on a

regular basis?

Do you read the Bible and other books that will help

you grow in your understanding of the ways and

purposes of God?

Do you spend quality time with your family and

friends?

Do you spend too much time in a relationship that

needs some boundaries?

If you find you need to change in any of these areas,

it is as simple as making a decision to do so. Feeling

guilty won’t change anything; regretting a lack of

past discipline won’t change anything; resenting

people who are disciplined won’t change anything;

and dreading discipline won’t change anything. The

only thing that will change anything is starting right

now to consistently discipline yourself. Let your new

slogan in life be, “No excuses, only results!”

CHAPTER 27

Take Your Hands Off

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it

empties today of its strength.”

—CORRIE TEN BOOM

We all know people who worry. I have observed that

worriers tend to enjoy life less than any other group

of people I know. Nothing drains the peace and joy

out of pleasant experiences and wonderful days like

having a worry-wart around! You know the scenario:

An extended family gathers for a picnic in the park

and they are laughing and having a wonderful time.

Good food abounds; children are playing happily;

adults are enjoying visiting with each other. But the

grandmother—the matriarch of the family—sits at a

table with a worried look on her face, totally

preoccupied because she’s afraid it’s going to rain;

she’s afraid a child will get hurt while playing, or

she’s afraid bacteria will grow in the food if they do

not eat it right away. She cannot enjoy the picnic

because all she can think about is what could go

wrong.

People who worry are consumed by fear, anxiety,

and torment. They cannot relax and enjoy the simple

pleasures of being alive, and this is one reason the

Bible is full of scriptures encouraging us not to

worry, but to trust God. When we are tempted to

worry, we need to say to ourselves, “Take your hands

off this situation! God is in control, so calm down and

trust Him.”

When we are tempted to worry, we need to say to

ourselves, “Take your hands off this situation!

God is in control, so calm down and trust Him.”

We all have troubles. We can all think of something

to worry about if we want to, but that will only make

us miserable. We need to deal with our concerns in

godly ways, and with positive attitudes. I once read a

story about a wise man who dealt with his worries

and troubles in a very creative and effective way. It’s

called “The Trouble Tree,” and I’d like to share it

with you:

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old

farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the

job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his

electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck

refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in

stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As

we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly

at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with

both hands. When opening the door, he underwent

an amazing transformation. His tanned face

wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small

children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the

tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked

him about what I had seen him do earlier.

“Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied. “I know I

can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s

for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my

wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree

every night when I come home. Then in the morning

I pick them up again.

“Funny thing is,” he smiled, “when I come out in the

morning to pick ’em up, there ain’t nearly as many as

I remember hanging up the night before.”1

NO ANXIETY

The apostle Paul was well acquainted with hardship

and trouble. He had plenty of reasons to worry about

himself, the churches he worked so hard to establish,

and people he loved. At one point in his ministry he

wrote, “We are hedged in (pressed) on every side

[troubled and oppressed in every way], but not

cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and

are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not

driven to despair. We are pursued (persecuted and

hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we

are struck down to the ground, but never struck out

and destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8, 9). He also wrote

about being hungry, thirsty, “roughly knocked

about,” homeless, beaten, shipwrecked, and stoned

(see 1 Corinthians 4:11; 2 Corinthians 11:25).

What was Paul’s attitude toward his troubles? We

find it in Philippians 4:6: “Do not fret or have anxiety

about anything, but in every circumstance and in

everything, by prayer and petition (definite

requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your

wants known to God.” In these words, Paul’s basic

instruction is: “Do not worry or be anxious, but pray,

be thankful, and tell God what you need.”

Worry and anxiety cannot coexist with trusting God.

We have to do one or the other. If we worry, we do

not trust Him; and if we trust Him, we don’t worry.

Worry and anxiety cannot coexist with trusting

God. We have to do one or the other.

Worry and anxiety are both methods by which we

try to figure out what only God knows. We grow

worried and anxious when we spend today trying to

get tomorrow’s answers. We become like the

Israelites during the time when God fed them with

manna every day (see Exodus 16:14–26). He gave

them just enough for each day. If they tried to gather

tomorrow’s manna today, it became rotten and

started to stink. They had to learn to trust God to

provide for them when they needed provision, not

before.

I believe some people have very difficult lives

because they do not know how to live one day at a

time, believing God is in control. Instead, they try to

handle tomorrow’s concerns today and end up

anxious and upset. This is not God’s plan. He wants

us to refuse to worry and to learn to trust Him each

day. Trust is not worrying, reasoning, or being

afraid. Trust is rest, peace, hope, and a positive

attitude. Trust says, “God is in control!”

As Paul wrote, the best way to overcome worry and

anxiety is to pray. I remind you: we are not to fret

about anything, but to pray about everything (see

Philippians 4:6). Our first response to any problem,

trial, challenge, or bad report should be to pray.

Prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives.

He is sovereign, and He can do anything He wants,

but He wants us to invite Him to work in our

circumstances through prayer.

As you pray, I encourage you to remind God of His

Word because it is your covenant with Him. His

Word is always effective, as we see in Isaiah 55:11:

“So shall My word be that goes forth out of My

mouth: it shall not return to Me void [without

producing any effect, useless], but it shall accomplish

that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper

in the thing for which I sent it.” Also, as you pray,

remember the great things God has done for you,

and declare the end result from the beginning,

according to Isaiah 46:9, 10: “[Earnestly] remember

the former things, [which I did] of old; for I am

God . . . and there is none like Me, declaring the end

and the result from the beginning, and from ancient

times the things that are not yet done, saying, My

counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure and

purpose.” Praying in these ways will increase your

faith, and when faith increases, anxiety decreases.

In Philippians 4, Paul writes about a three-step

process to enjoying life. The first step is to rejoice:

“Rejoice in the Lord always, [delight, gladden

yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice!” (v. 4). The

second step is to pray about everything and worry

about nothing (see v. 6). The third step is to fear

nothing from God and be content (see v. 7). You may

not feel like doing what Paul did, but if what you

have been doing is not working, then you might as

well try it.

HOW, GOD, HOW?

Most of the time, the reason we become anxious is

we do not have the answers we want. We cannot

stand uncertainty, so we worry and reason. We

consider the various ways God could intervene in our

circumstances and try to figure out what he should

do to help us. When we think this way, we are

wasting our time. When we really trust God and take

our hands off the situations concerning us, we

realize we don’t have to have all the answers. We do

not need to know what to do or what the outcome

will be or how God will bring it to pass. We simply

need to know god is in control and he is good. There

is a wonderful verse on this subject tucked in the

brief and often-overlooked book of Nahum: “The

Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of

trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of,

and understands) those who take refuge and trust in

Him” (1:7). We don’t have to know how God will

deliver us; we simply need to trust He will.

When we really trust God and take our hands

off the situations concerning us, we realize

we don’t have to have all the answers.

For many years, I have loved and lived by Proverbs

3:5, 6: “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord

with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your

own insight or understanding. In all your ways

know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will

direct and make straight and plain your paths.”

We must realize trust requires some unanswered

questions. We cannot look to our own knowledge,

understanding, or good ideas when we are trusting

God. We have to accept that He can bring to our

problems solutions we never imagined. We don’t

have to have all the answers; that’s God’s job. He will

give us the answers we need when we need them.

Until He does, our responsibility is to pray, rest in

Him, and go on about our lives. When we can be

comfortable “not knowing,” we take a big step

forward.

WHEN, GOD, WHEN?

People can become very impatient while trusting

God. After all, trust often requires a period of

waiting, and most of us do not like to wait.

Remember, God’s timing is an aspect of His will, and

when we really want His will in our lives, we must be

willing to submit to His timing.

In many years of walking with God, I have

rarely seen Him intervene in a situation at

a time that seemed “early,” but I have never,

ever known Him to be late.

In many years of walking with God, I have rarely

seen Him intervene in a situation at a time that

seemed “early,” but I have never, ever known Him to

be late. He is always right on time.

A good verse to remember during times of waiting is

Galatians 6:9: “And let us not lose heart and grow

weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for

in due time and at the appointed season we shall

reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and

faint.” Now I realize the words “due time” and “the

appointed season” still do not give us a month, a day,

and a year for something to happen, and that is often

what we want. But they do build our faith and

encourage us in our waiting and give us confidence

that God will act at the moment He believes is best.

Our part is to resist becoming impatient, to keep

praying, to continue doing what is right, and to know

God is in control.

Our faith is stretched when God makes us wait

longer than we think is necessary. These situations

are opportunities to grow in the fruit of patience.

James tells us a fully patient man is lacking in

nothing (see James 1:4). I believe he means nothing

can upset us when we have developed the ability to

patiently wait on and trust God’s perfect timing in

our lives.

WHY, GOD, WHY?

Sometimes God delivers us from difficult situations

or circumstances that tempt us to worry, and at other

times we have to go through them. If God decides we

must endure them, we simply must do so, because in

those situations, the only way out is through. Many

times, God wants to develop strength, wisdom, or

certain character traits in us through the process of

enduring hardship.

In 2003, Joyce Meyer Ministries received some bad

press. The media reported things that were not true

about us. They twisted facts and took things entirely

out of context. People wondered if the reports would

affect us negatively, but they did not. In fact, we

experienced nothing but growth after that incident.

It was a situation we had to go through, and I believe

it prepared us for the increase we enjoyed afterward.

Sometimes God delivers us from

difficult situations or circumstances

that tempt us to worry, and at other times

we have to go through them.

The situation was difficult for me because my

reputation was being attacked. I learned from the

trial that we must trust God with our reputations

because if we try to maintain a good name on our

own, we will become very upset when anyone

attacks it. According to Philippians 2:7, Jesus made

Himself of no reputation. He certainly did not care

what people said about Him, because He knew the

truth.

Sometimes, we have problems because we need to

learn a lesson, pass a test, be strengthened, or gain

maturity before we enter into a time of growth and

expansion. Since some trials are nothing more than

tests, we need to focus on passing the tests, not trying

to figure out why we have to take them.

Second Corinthians 2:14 is a great verse to remember

when you go through difficult situations: “But thanks

be to God, Who in Christ always leads us in triumph

[as trophies of Christ’s victory] and through us

spreads and makes evident the fragrance of the

knowledge of God everywhere.” When you go

through something, remember you will get to the

other side. Even if God requires you to go through

difficulty, He is not leading you to defeat, but to

certain triumph.

CALM DOWN

When troubled times come our way, one of our

biggest challenges is to stay calm. Our natural

tendencies are to fear, to worry, and to try to do

something to fix the situation or solve the problem.

But we must learn to get our emotions under control

so we can think clearly, act wisely, and pray in faith.

We must learn to get our emotions under

control so we can think clearly, act wisely,

and pray in faith.

In the Old Testament, Moses often had to help the

Israelites calm down. One such situation took place

when Pharaoh’s army was gaining ground on them.

They kept running, but knew they were headed

straight into the Red Sea. Death seemed certain.

Exodus 14:10 tells us the people were “exceedingly

frightened.” They were also angry with Moses, and

they decided they would have been better off as

slaves to the Egyptians than trying to outrun

Pharaoh’s forces. It was an intense situation indeed

and their emotions were running wild.

Moses said to them, “Fear not; stand still (firm,

confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of the

Lord which He will work for you today. For the

Egyptians you have seen today you shall never see

again. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold

your peace and remain at rest” (vv. 13, 14). In

modern language, Moses was saying, “Stop it! I know

the situation looks hopeless, but don’t be afraid. Just

be still for a minute and watch what God is going to

do for you.”

Before Pharaoh’s army reached the Israelites, God

rolled back the waters of the Red Sea so His people

could cross over on dry land. When they were all on

the other side, the sea closed again and Pharaoh’s

fighters drowned. I want to remind you that this

same miracle-working God is on your side today. He

still fights for His people. Your job, if you belong to

Him, is simply to “hold your peace and remain at

rest.”

Jesus never asks us to do anything impossible.

In John 14:27, Jesus clearly indicates we have the

ability to manage our emotions: “Do not let your

hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop

allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and

do not permit yourselves to be fearful and

intimidated and cowardly and unsettled]” (emphasis

mine). When our hearts are troubled, the reason is

we let them be that way. When we are agitated,

disturbed, fearful, and intimidated, we have allowed

these emotions. Since we have the power to permit

these negative feelings, we also have the ability to

disallow them. Jesus never asks us to do anything

impossible. If He tells us not to let ourselves be upset,

He gives us the strength to do so.

We must choose to stay calm

in the midst of crises.

We must choose to stay calm in the midst of crises.

We have to discipline our thoughts and emotions in

highly charged situations in which many people

would give in to tears and fears. This kind of stability

and ability to maintain peace is God’s will for us, and

it proves we really do trust Him. He is in control of

every situation, so take your hands off, and relax and

enjoy your life while He works on your behalf.

Instead of spending today worrying about something

you cannot do anything about, why not enjoy today

and be enthusiastic about your future?

CHAPTER 28

Embrace Tomorrow

“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold

of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of

faith.”

—HENRY WARD BEECHER

Over my years in ministry, I have come to believe

people view the future from one of two perspectives.

They either look forward to it with enthusiasm and

confidence, or they are concerned, unsure, or even

fearful about it. Some of the ways people think about

the days ahead have to do with their personalities;

certain people are more optimistic than others by

nature. But regardless of the way we are wired, we

need to find out what God says about the future and

agree with it, even if that means having to overcome

a natural personality tendency.

One of the verses that clearly expresses God’s view of

the future is Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the

thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord,

thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for

evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” This is a

clear invitation from God for us to embrace our

tomorrows. We do not need to fear anything because

God’s thoughts and plans for us are good, not evil. All

He has for us is good, and He is determined to give us

hope for the future.

When we are having trouble today, looking forward

to good things in the future helps us enjoy today even

in the midst of problems that must be dealt with. The

Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”

(Proverbs 13:12). Stay hopeful and agree with God

about your future.

SOMETHING SPECIAL

The prophet Jeremiah, to whom God spoke about His

good plans and “hope in your final outcome,” was

called to do something special for God. He knew this,

because God said to him, “Before I formed you in the

womb I knew and approved of you [as My chosen

instrument], and before you were born I separated

and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I

appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah

1:5).

Just as God had a great plan for Jeremiah before he

was even born, He has had a great plan for your life

since before you drew your first breath. He did not

wait until you were born, or until He saw what you

look like, or until you began to develop talents and

abilities to decide whether or not you could enjoy

your life. There is a reason you are here on earth;

you were not born merely to take up space. God said

He called Jeremiah before he was even born, and I

believe there is something, or even many things, God

has in His plan for each of us.

Just as God had a great plan for Jeremiah before

he was even born, He has had a great plan for

your life since before you drew your first breath.

Instead of feeling anxious if you don’t know exactly

what those things are yet, why not be excited about

the fact that no matter what they are, they are good.

Finding our purpose in life is not always easy.

Sometimes we have to try some things to find out

where we fit. We are partners with God and He even

lets us help in the decision-making process. What are

you good at? What are you passionate about? What is

the desire of your heart? Many times those things

point the way to what we should be doing. We should

also realize that we may not do the exact same thing

all of our life. We have seasons in life for some things

and seasons for others.

My daughter was in ministry for thirteen years, but

now she is a stay-at-home mom. When her children

are grown, I am sure she will do something else.

Some people worry so much about what they are

supposed to be doing they end up doing nothing at

all except staying confused.

I firmly believe it is God’s job to show us if He has a

specific thing He wants us to do, and if He doesn’t

show us anything we should live, bear good fruit,

bloom where we’re planted, and enjoy every day He

gives us. I really want you to understand and believe

the truth that God has a great future for you. He has

a more awesome plan for your life than you could

ever imagine simply because He loves you—and He

has had this plan in His heart since before you were

born.

I really want you to understand and believe the

truth that God has a great future for you.

Jeremiah knew this, and so did David, who wrote

these words to God:

For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me

together in my mother’s womb. . . . My frame was not

hidden from You when I was being formed in secret

[and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if

embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the

earth. . . . Your eyes saw my unformed substance,

and in Your book all the days [of my life] were

written before they ever took shape, when as yet

there was none of them (Psalm 139:13, 15–16,

emphasis mine).

I challenge you today to believe God’s Word about

your life. If you have ever doubted He has a good

plan for your life, it’s time to change your mind. I

guarantee you: you have a great future ahead. All

you have to do is believe it and embrace it. In the

Bible, Amos wrote that two cannot walk together

unless they agree (see Amos 3:3). God has a good

plan for you, but you need to agree with Him if you

want to experience it. Start thinking and saying, “God

has a good plan for me and I am not only excited

about today, but I am looking forward to tomorrow.”

EMBRACE THE CALL

Even though God spoke plainly to Jeremiah and told

him clearly what his call was, Jeremiah did not

embrace it with enthusiasm. Instead, he said, “Ah,

Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am only a

youth” (Jeremiah 1:6). God told Jeremiah he was to be

a prophet to the nations, and Jeremiah responded,

“No, I can’t. I’m too young.”

God did not approve of Jeremiah’s answer. He said,

“Say not, I am only a youth; for you shall go to all to

whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you

shall speak. Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I

am with you to deliver you, says the Lord” (vv. 7, 8).

I wonder how many times God has told somebody

what an awesome purpose He has for him or her,

and heard in response, “No, God! I can’t do that!” In

the strictest sense, that answer is true. None of us

can do anything in our own strength (see John 15:5),

especially fulfill God’s call on our lives. But when

God gives us an assignment, He also plans to give us

the grace and strength we will need to accomplish it.

He does not expect us to do it alone. So when we

respond to Him, instead of protesting and saying no

to Him, we need to say, “Okay, God. This is a big

assignment, but You are a big God and I know I can

do anything with Your help!”

When God gives us an assignment,

he also plans to give us the grace and

strength we will need to accomplish it.

GOD ARRANGES OUR SUCCESS

Jeremiah’s biggest problem when confronted with

God’s call on his life was that he focused on himself.

Everything was about him! “I can’t answer this call,

God! I’m too young!” When we focus on ourselves,

we will never develop confidence to fulfill God’s call,

but when we focus on Him—His strength, His

abilities, His wisdom, His power—we realize we can

do whatever He asks of us.

Later in Jeremiah’s story, God speaks to him again:

“But you [Jeremiah], gird up your loins! Arise and tell

them all that I command you. Do not be dismayed

and break down at the sight of their faces, lest I

confound you before them and permit you to be

overcome” (Jeremiah 1:17).

Wow! God is speaking strongly to Jeremiah, saying,

basically, “Jeremiah, if you become fearful, then you

are not trusting Me. If you want Me to help you, you

need to trust Me. If you allow the fear of man to

creep into your heart I will back off and let you be

overcome. I’ll have to permit your failure.”

You see, God planned for Jeremiah’s success. He had

already made a way for Jeremiah to be strong and

able to complete his assignment. Jeremiah’s job was

to refuse to be afraid, and to speak boldly the words

God gave him to say.

God still arranges success for His people today. That

includes you. You do not have to wait to see how

successful you can be on your own; you do not have

to beg or bargain with Him to cause you to succeed.

He is waiting on you to trust and believe Him to do

what He has promised you. I can assure you: God

wants you to accomplish His purpose for your life.

He gives you everything you need to fulfill His plan.

He says you can do it!

It does not matter how you feel, what you look like,

what your relatives think, what anybody says, how

many obstacles are in your way, or how many times

you have failed in the past. If God says you can

accomplish something great, then you can! And,

please remember, “something great” is not always

having a big ministry, presiding over a corporation,

or owning your own business. It can also be raising

children, helping people everywhere you go, being

an encourager, praying for others, and many other

seemingly simple things.

Nothing is impossible with God, and I am living proof

of this truth. Naturally speaking, there is no way for

a person with my background to be where I am

today. But with God, an abused little girl who became

an angry housewife can be changed to the point she

can preach God’s Word all over the world. I don’t

believe I could ever fully explain all the steps I had to

go through, all the battles I had to fight, all the lies of

the enemy I had to overcome, all the personal fears

and insecurities I had to deal with to be transformed

into the woman I am right now, but I can say: It is

worth the work. It’s worth the fight to experience the

victory God has for you.

God did tell me I could have a worldwide ministry,

but even more importantly, He said I could be

transformed into His image. It did not seem possible

years ago, but He has brought it to pass. He does not

play favorites; He can bring the same kind of

miraculous transformation in your life He has

brought in mine if you will just ask Him and then do

what He leads you to do.

When God puts a dream in your heart or shows you

what He wants you to do, you will have to commit to

it and persevere. You will have to confront issues in

your life that will hinder you from fulfilling it. You

will not be able to simply wish them all away or have

someone pray for you to make them all go away.

Prayer is wonderful and important, but to develop

the strength you need to embrace your destiny, you

will need to stand and face the enemy and conquer

him. You need to know by personal experience “He

Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is

in the world” (1 John 4:4). Your dream, your destiny,

is worth your effort, but you will have to be bold and

continue to work toward it with God’s help. Don’t get

so caught up in seeing your dream come to pass you

fail to realize what God does in you is actually more

important than what He does through you. If you

sincerely ask Him to transform you and mold you

into the image of Jesus Christ, I believe the rest of

what God has planned for you will occur at the right

time.

When God puts a dream in your heart

or shows you what he wants you to do,

you will have to commit to it and persevere.

You will have to confront issues in your life

that will hinder you from fulfilling it.

WHAT’S NEW?

In the New Testament, we read about a young man

who reminds me of Jeremiah. God had a great plan

for Timothy’s life, and like Jeremiah, he responded to

it with fear instead of faith, and he thought he was

too young to do what God called him to do. I believe

both of these young men were not only struggling

with their youth, but with the fact they were being

called to do something new. By saying, “I’m too

young!” they were also saying, “I don’t know what to

do. I don’t have any experience with this. This is all

new to me!”

As you move into the future God has for you, you will

encounter all kinds of new opportunities and

challenges. The days ahead will be full of new

experiences, things you have never done before. You

may not know how to do them, but you will learn.

Everything you are doing today was new to you at

one time—and look, now you can do it. For me there

was the time when I had my first child. I did not

know much of anything about raising children, but

God has helped me raise four and I am very proud of

all of them. There was the time when I preached my

first sermon. I didn’t really know how to preach, but

now I do. The same will be true for you if you will be

bold and step into the new things awaiting you. Soon

those things will become easy and the next new

experience will present itself. Continuing to face new

challenges and develop new abilities is extremely

important to your growth and maturity.

Continuing to face new challenges and

develop new abilities is extremely

important to your growth and maturity.

We have a strong tendency to fear or be nervous

about new experiences. We think, It’s time for a

change! I need something new, and then we hesitate

to embrace that new thing when it comes. We often

say to God, “I’m tired of the same old thing. Could

you please do something new in my life?” When He

tries to do something new for us, we resist it, shrink

back in fear, and ask Him to deliver us!

Part of embracing your tomorrow will be developing

a positive attitude toward new opportunities. As you

walk with God into your future, you will hear Him

say, “You have not done this before. I’m taking you to

a place you have never been before. I’m going to ask

you to do something you don’t know how to do. This

may be a little bit over your head right now, but I

will help you learn to do it.”

Part of embracing your tomorrow

will be developing a positive attitude

toward new opportunities.

You may be on the brink of some new experiences

right now. You may be a student facing graduation

and the many unknowns of post-college life or a new

job. You may be preparing for marriage or trying to

start a family. Maybe you want to change careers and

learn to do a job you have never done before. Or,

perhaps you are in a desperate situation, such as

having to cope with a spouse who has left you with

young children and you suddenly have to support

your family when you have never had to work

before.

The only way for us to avoid new things is to stay

trapped in the past, but there is no hope or

enjoyment in that. The future is all that lies ahead of

us; it’s all we have to look forward to; and it is full of

new horizons. I can promise you: God is with you. He

will lead you. He will strengthen you. He will help

you.

It may surprise you to know that at this time in my

life I am aggressively praying for creativity. I want to

try new things, have new ideas, face new challenges,

and experience all I can before my time here on

earth is finished. I calculated how many days I have

lived and how many I may have left, and I felt more

passionate than ever about pressing ahead with a

very positive, enthusiastic, and aggressive attitude.

In this book, I have mentioned the Old Testament

leader Joshua. He knew the challenges of leading

people into something new. He was responsible for

taking God’s people into a good land God promised

them, a place they had never been before. The

officers of Israel said to the people, “You have not

passed this way before” (Joshua 3:4). Perhaps you

feel that way right now.

I believe God wants to do something special in

your life, and i believe you are called for a holy

purpose— a purpose that has been in God’s heart

since long before you were born.

I want you to notice what Joshua said next: “Sanctify

yourselves [that is, separate yourselves for a special

holy purpose], for tomorrow the Lord will do

wonders among you” (v. 5). I believe that for you. I

believe God wants to do something special in your

life, and I believe you are called for a holy purpose—

a purpose that has been in God’s heart since long

before you were born. I believe your future is bright

with God’s promise, and that His presence will be

with you in every day ahead. I believe God will do

wonders in your life, as you continue to follow Him.

A CLOSING THOUGHT

As we near the end of this book, I want to share with

you a quote by William Allen White, an American

journalist who worked around the turn of the

twentieth century: “I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I

have seen yesterday and I love today.”

Let me encourage you: love and enjoy today, make

the most of every moment, and look forward with

passion and confidence to the great future God has in

store for you as you embrace your tomorrows.

THE SECRET

We only get one chance at life. It is not something we

can redo, so we should make sure the first “go

around” is great. I believe God wants us to enjoy

everything we do—to experience true happiness—

and I believe that is possible with His help. In this

book, I have tried to share with you principles God

has taught me during my journey toward learning to

enjoy where I am on the way to where I am going.

Keep in mind that reading alone will not change your

circumstances; you must act upon what you have

learned to get results. Education is the first step

toward change, but action is the second step—and

nothing happens without it.

I encourage you to take one thing at a time as you

enjoy today and embrace tomorrow. Take one of the

principles in this book and begin to pray about them

and examine your life in light of them. For example,

are you spending regular time with God, or do you

make excuses day after day while complaining that

you are not happy? Excuses keep us stuck in joyless

and unproductive lifestyles. Never excuse bad

behavior or bad choices, but face truth and repent,

which means to turn and go in the right direction.

Repentance is not merely a sad feeling, but a

heartfelt decision to change.

With all of my heart I want God’s people to enjoy

what Jesus died to provide. It is not God’s will that we

merely exist and try to make it through each day. He

wants us to live joyfully and expectantly. He wants us

to experience true happiness. The secret is simple:

Enjoy today and embrace tomorrow with enthusiasm

and hope.

This is the living out of faith. It is the result of

trusting God for everything and being confident that

He holds the present and the future. I encourage you

to begin taking life one day at a time and ask yourself

what you can do to get the most out of each day.

Enjoying life does not mean we must have constant

entertainment, but we should enjoy every little thing

and each aspect of the day because we have made a

conscious decision to do so.

I have taken the challenge of enjoying the ordinary.

As I wrote earlier in the book, anyone can enjoy the

mountaintops of life—those special times of

inspiration when everything in life seems perfect.

But only the very mature can enjoy the ordinary. In

his devotional book titled My Utmost for His Highest,

Oswald Chambers writes, “Do not expect God always

to give you His thrilling minutes, but learn to live in

the domain of drudgery by the power of God.”

Perhaps it sounds a bit odd, but I like the challenge of

living ordinary life as if I were attending a wonderful

party. After all, today is the day the Lord has made

(see Psalm 118:24). It is His party and He invites us to

attend, so why not enjoy every moment while

looking forward expectantly to the day He has

planned for tomorrow.

God never says, “Uh-oh!” He is not surprised by

anything and is never without a solution, so start

living the way Jesus intends for you to live! Hopefully

your newfound happiness will rub off on all the

people around you—and eventually the entire world

will be a better place.

APPENDIX

Knowing Who You Are In Christ

In chapter 5, I wrote about the importance of

understanding your identity in Christ. The scriptures

below have been adapted as confessions for you to

study, memorize, and speak aloud as you renew your

mind according to the truth of what God says about

you:

• I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all

principality and power (Colossians 2:10).

• I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).

• I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans

8:2).

• I am far from oppression, and fear does not come

near me (Isaiah 54:14).

• I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch

me (1 John 5:18).

• I am holy and without blame before Him in love

(Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

• I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16;

Philippians 2:5).

• I have the peace of God that passes all

understanding (Philippians 4:7).

• I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He

Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John

4:4).

• I have received the gift of righteousness and reign

as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

• I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation

in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my

understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,

18).

• I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay

hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out

demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power

over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by

any means harm me (Mark 16:17, 18; Luke 10:17, 19).

• I have put off the old man and have put on the new

man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the

image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9, 10).

• I have given, and it is given to me; good measure,

pressed down, shaken together, and running over,

men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).

• I have no lack, for my God supplies all of my needs

according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus

(Philippians 4:19).

• I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one

with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).

• I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians

4:13).

• I show forth the praises of God Who has called me

out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).

• I am God’s child—for I am born again of the

incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives

and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).

• I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto

good works (Ephesians 2:10).

• I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

• I am a spirit being—alive to God (Romans 6:11; 1

Thessalonians 5:23).

• I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in

my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).

• I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions

( James 1:22, 25).

• I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).

• I am more than a conqueror through Him Who

loves me (Romans 8:37).

• I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and

the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

• I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3, 4).

• I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).

• I am part of a chosen generation, a royal

priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1

Peter 2:9).

• I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2

Corinthians 5:21).

• I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own

(1 Corinthians 6:19).

• I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and

not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).

• I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

• I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and

long-suffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).

• I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the

blood (Ephesians 1:7).

• I am delivered from the power of darkness and

translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).

• I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and

poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15–68; Galatians 3:13).

• I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith,

and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).

• I am called of God to be the voice of His praise

(Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).

• I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1

Peter 2:24).

• I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly

places (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12).

• I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7; Ephesians

2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).

• I am strengthened with all might according to His

glorious power (Colossians 1:11).

• I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me

because I resist him in the name of Jesus (James 4:7).

• I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which

God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians

3:14).

• For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of

power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

• It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians

2:20).

NOTES

Introduction

1. http://pewresearch.org/pubs/301/are-we-happy-yet

(back to text)

Chapter 1

1. Jaye Lewis, “Real Health,”

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/220/story_22099_1.ht

ml (back to text)

Chapter 2

1. Author unknown, http://www.christian-

jokes.org/jokes64.html (back to text)

Chapter 3

1. Michael Josephson,

http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/stories.cgi?

record=44 (back to text)

2. Jaye Lewis, “A Different Kind of Athlete,”

http://www.heartnsouls.com/stories/b/s188.shtml

(back to text)

Chapter 4

1. Author Unknown, “E-mail Confusion,”

http://www.piffe.com/jokes/email.phtml (back to text)

Chapter 6

1. Author Unknown, “Wedding Plans,”

http://www.christianstories.com/frames.htm (back to

text)

Chapter 7

1. Author Unknown,

http://geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/6182/LifeLesso

n.html (back to text)

Chapter 9

1. Author unknown, “Positive Attitude,”

http://www.friendsacrossamerica.com/positiveattitud

e.html (back to text)

Chapter 11

1. Author Unknown, “And This Too Shall Pass,”

http://www.wscribe.com/parables/pass.html (back to

text)

Chapter 13

1. Author Unknown, “The Wise Woman’s Stone,”

http://www.yuni.com/library/docs/222.html (back to

text)

Chapter 19

1. Lederer, Richard. “Question and Answer: These

Student Bloopers Are All Genuine, Authentic and

Unretouched.” National Review, December 31, 1995.

(back to text)

Chapter 21

1. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/viktor_frankl/ (back to

text)

2.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6802862/site/newswe

ek/ (back to text)

3. Ibid. (back to text)

Chapter 27

1. Author Unknown, “The Trouble Tree,”

http://members.tripod.com/˜tassiedevil/Inspiration.h

tm (back to text)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JOYCE MEYER is one of the world’s leading practical

Bible teachers. A #1 New York Times bestselling

author, she has written more than seventy

inspirational books, including The Confident Woman,

I Dare You, the entire Battlefield of the Mind family

of books, her first venture into fiction with The

Penny, and many others. She has also released

thousands of audio teachings as well as a complete

video library. Joyce’s Enjoying Everyday Life® radio

and television programs are broadcast around the

world, and she travels extensively conducting

conferences. Joyce and her husband, Dave, are the

parents of four grown children and make their home

in St. Louis, Missouri.

JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES

U.S. & FOREIGN OFFICE

Joyce Meyer Ministries

P.O. Box 655

Fenton, MO 63026

USA

(636) 349-0303

www.joycemeyer.org

Joyce Meyer Ministries—Canada

Lambeth Box 1300

London, ON N6P 1T5

Canada

1-800-727-9673

Joyce Meyer Ministries—Australia

Locked Bag 77

Mansfield Delivery Centre

Queensland 4122

Australia

(07) 3349 1200

Joyce Meyer Ministries—England

P.O. Box 1549

Windsor SL4 1GT

United Kingdom

01753 831102

Joyce Meyer Ministries—South Africa

P.O. Box 5

Cape Town 8000

South Africa

(27) 21-701-1056

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

Part of embracing your tomorrow

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

Chapter 13

Chapter 19

Chapter 21

Chapter 27