Warrior Prayers

Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most

Brooke L. McGlothlin

© 2011 l All rights reserved.

Warrior Prayers l warriorprayers.com

Warrior Prayers

Every day I cry out to the Lord on my sons' behalf.

But when the storms come and the tensions build and the hands tremble and I feel myself falling to my knees in desperation, it can be hard to find the right Word to pray.

Warrior Prayers: Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most is an eBook designed to help you in the pursuit of reaching for the hearts of your sons and raising godly men.  In it you can find Scripture prayers by category, such as anger, fear, joy, love, purity, humility, integrity, honesty and more.  Throughout its pages you’ll find stories from the Word–some funny, some sweet, some serious–to encourage you in raising these precious men to be mighty warriors for Christ.  As a way to encourage you to go deeper, I've included study questions after each story.

At this point, you may be asking yourself, what makes this book different from any other on the topic of prayer?  As I've talked to numerous other mothers of boys and polled them about the areas in which they see their men struggling, the same topics seem to come up over and over again.  This book covers praying over your sons in the areas they need your prayers the most.  It is FOR moms of boys, BY a mom of boys.

I also hope you'll consider joining the hundreds of other moms who have gathered together to pray for their sons in the new 21 Days of Prayer for Sons challenge.  To find out more about participating in, or leading this challenge, visit warriorprayers.com.

Friends, the battle for our sons' hearts won’t be won just by reading and implementing the best parenting techniques. It won’t be won through late night talks, lectures on right and wrong, or even committing to a Bible-preaching church. These things are all important parts of the equation, but they don’t trump the most important piece of the fight.

Prayer.

This battle is best fought on our knees.

The Lord’s richest blessings on you and your sons,

Brooke L. McGlothlin, MA

Warrior Prayers

Praise for Warrior Prayers

Raising boys who will become heroes for God's kingdom is one of the greatest challenges a mother can face. Praying intentionally for our own sons is one of the best ways we can invest in their lives and is the means of seeing their hearts opened to the Lord, His word and His call on their lives. Brooke has written an insightful book that I found very captivating and applicable in raising godly young men by praying intentionally and powerfully for them in our own homes. This book provides mothers with inspiration, numerous verses to pray for each child and practical guidance for being purposeful in prayer. I highly recommend this book and know it will be a great tool for many moms.

~Sally Clarkson (of I Take Joy,  and author of The Mission of Motherhood)

Brooke takes us straight to what must be central in Christian parenting - God's word and prayer. Modern moms need to return back to the basics and this ebook is the perfect resource to help us follow through.  Warrior Prayers is filled with rich God-breathed prayers that will change the entire course of the next generation!"

~Courtney Joseph (of Women Living Well )

I love Brooke McGlothlin’s E-book.  It’s a 21-Day Guide into the heart of the Father for our boys. It’s practical and it’s easy to follow.

What I love the most? It’s a call to action.

What boy (man) doesn’t love action? But it’s not a lesson book on mom fixing it, it’s a in-depth guide to PRAYER. Praying for our boys is truly the only way to reach their hearts.

~Kristen Welch (of We Are THAT Family, and author of Don't Make Me Come Up There!”

Brooke's heart for prayer fills the pages of this book. Warrior Prayers has transformed the way I pray for my sons, both in frequency and depth. The areas covered in this prayer guide are aspects essential to raising Godly young men - overcoming anger, living a life of love, praying for their salvation, and so on. After reading and praying through Warrior Prayers, I don't know what I would do without it! It is with me everywhere I go!

~Erin @HomeWithTheBoys  (Co-founder & Creator of the M.O.B. Society )

For years I have prayed for the boy who will one day be my daughter’s husband. I am thankful for a resource like Warrior Prayers to guide me in praying over this young man. What a joy to one day hand his mother this book with my scribblings and notes and thank her for raising a godly man for my daughter. Honestly, I believe every mother – regardless of the age of her children – should have this book! Nothing is more powerful that praying Scripture for our children, as Brooke says, we wage this war best on our knees.

~Teri Lynne Underwood (of Scripture Dig )

I just love Brooke’s heart. She knows she doesn’t have it in her to lead her sons to be men of God. To be fathers and husbands that follow Him. But she knows the path―through prayer. And not just any prayer, but specific focused prayer based on God’s Word.

~ Amanda White (of Impress Your Kids )

Introduction

I watch their little faces as we prepare for bedtime prayers.  I’m overwhelmed with love for them, overwhelmed with parenting them, these little boys who have stolen my heart and rocked my world.

As I write this, my sons are six and four.  Already I find myself wondering where the time has gone. I'm running as fast as I can to keep up with every step they take, tucking each moment away in my memory for safekeeping.

I asked God to give me boys.  Even before I was married I knew I wanted boys--to raise men who would be different, respecters of women, lovers of God--to teach little men to work with their hands, take commitments seriously and protect the least of these. Warriors, protectors, worshippers, peacemakers and friends--these are the dreams I have for my little ones.

Fast forward twelve years or so, and the present-day circus that is my life often finds me asking this question:

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I don’t have any clue how to be the mom of boys!  They’re rough and tumble.  I don’t have an athletic bone in my body.  They’re loud and obnoxious.  I enjoy peace and quiet.  They love dirt and mud and bugs.  I’d rather curl up with a good book in my nice cool family room.

Obviously, God has a sense of humor.

If you are the mother of at least one boy you are shaking your head in agreement with me right now.  I used to think there was something wrong with my boys, that they were the only ones in the world who acted the way they do.  Then the Lord hooked me up with an awesome community of boy moms and I learned that this simply isn’t true! There is something different about boys!

- They’re loud.

- They like to leap from tall buildings with no safety net (a.k.a. jump off the top bunk).

- They like to build forts and hide candy.

- They break toilets and “go” in (and all over) anything BUT the toilet.

- They’re adventurous.

- They’re natural born protectors.

- They like to shoot things (even when there’s nothing actually resembling a gun).

- They shower you with spit when showcasing their sound effects skills.

- They love their mommies and need their daddies.

- They’re made of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails (OK, not really.  But when I told my oldest that girls were made of sugar and spice and everything nice, he asked if he could lick me!)

I’m afraid that we’re losing the beauty of training up godly men.

The bottom line is this: our boys need strong parents now more than ever. We're losing them; raising a generation of weak men. Oh, they think they're strong. When they have degrees behind their names and lots of zeros in their salary. When they work hard and do well, play sports and drink beer. When they get a whole string of young girls pregnant or "make" their wives obey. I've seen it all in my line of work. You probably have too, whether or not you work outside the home. Young men who have no idea what it means to be a man are everywhere.

We’ve failed them.

Hope?

So what, you’re asking, do we do about it?  My answer is short and sweetly simple.  There are so many books out there today on the topic of parenting that I can’t count them.  Nor do I have time to read them all.  But even if I did, reading these books, and putting the solid tools in them to work, still doesn’t come with guarantees. Knowing this, it becomes quite clear that there is only one thing we can do.

Plead with God.

Pray.

“The fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much” James 5:17.  It's our hope.

Hearts of Flesh

About three years ago, when my oldest was turning three, I began praying Scripture over my children, and since then it has become quite a passion of mine.  I love to take the Word and wash it over my boys in prayer, substituting their names in when I can, and asking the Lord to bring it to fruition in their lives.  At the beginning of each year, I write out a long Scripture prayer for my boys with the goal of praying it over them each day in that year.  I plan to frame these prayers one day and devote a wall in our home to the petitions I have lifted up on their behalf all of their lives.  I dream of seeing how the Lord has been faithful to His Word by planting it deeply in their hearts.

One day, as I was praying this year's prayer over my boys, the Lord dropped the seed into my heart for this book. So many resources exist out there for girls. There are even some great books that I would whole-heartedly recommend on the subject of prayer for our children. What was missing, I realized, was a book leading mothers in how to pray specifically for their sons.

So many of you moms, right this very moment, are kneeling down or lying flat on your face before God, asking Him to help you.  You’re lost, overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, heartbroken, and seconds away from waving the white flag in defeat.  I know where you are.  I’ve been there.  I’m still there.  I have no idea how to make this dream of mine come true.  I have no idea how to raise men who will be different: respecters of women, lovers of God. I have no idea how to teach little men to work with their hands, take commitments seriously, and protect the least of these. And I certainly have no idea how to raise warriors, protectors, worshippers, peacemakers, and friends by myself.

But I do know how to get down on my knees and cry out to God on their behalf. I do know that God's Word is "living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the divison of soul and spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

So I pray the Word over my boys daily. Asking the One who has the power to change hearts of stone into hearts of flesh to find my boys and make them His.

In spite of me.

Study Questions

1.    Describe your current relationship with your son(s). Are they young? Teenagers? All grown up? Is your relationship with them what you want it to be?

2.    Think back to when you first realized you were having a boy (or boys!). What was your response? Were you happy? Excited? Sad? Overwhelmed?  Do you think your initial response to the idea of having boys has affected your parenting of them over the years?

3.    Are your boys typical rough and tumble?  Or are they a bit different than the stereotypical definition of boys? How has this affected your parenting over the years?

4.    Do your boys have good role models (father, uncles, other godly men)?  If not, try to think of one man you could ask to be a stronger part of their lives.  Write that man's name here and commit to praying that the Lord would put this need on his heart.

5.    How have you prayed for your son(s) in the past?  Is the idea of praying the Word of God for them new to you?  If so, how do you think it will change the way you pray for your son(s)?

The Battle

“Now the sons of Eli were worthless men.  They did not know the Lord.”                 ~ 1 Samuel 2:12

Their father was the priest, yet they didn’t know the Lord.

I’ve often wondered why the children of pastors seem to struggle in their faith more than other children.  Maybe it’s because their father is responsible to shepherd more than just his own family.  He has to worry not only about raising his own children but also calming the questions, fears, and concerns of his flock as well.

In First Samuel chapter two we find Eli the priest dealing with something similar.  In his lifetime, Eli was given three men to care for, train, teach and raise.  But he only got it right with one of them: Samuel.  Samuel came under Eli’s care through the prayers of a desperate mother, Hannah.  She vowed that if the Lord would give her a son, and take away the shame of her barrenness, she would dedicate him to the Lord all the days of his life.  So Samuel, the fruit of that desperate prayer, spent his childhood with Eli in the temple.

Even as a child Samuel knew and listened to the voice of God, and so we know him as the man whom God used to choose the first and second kings of Israel. We can assume that Eli trained Samuel in the ways of the Lord.  Certainly he helped him to recognize the voice of the Lord (1 Samuel 3).  But the Bible says something completely different regarding Eli’s biological sons, Hophni and Phinehas.  According to 1 Samuel 2:12, Eli’s sons were worthless men, unrestrained in their behavior-–and Eli did nothing to stop them.

Eli failed to raise his sons to know and fear the Lord.  And the Lord held him responsible for his actions.

Let’s take a look at a few of the things that Eli’s neglect cost him, and what it cost those around him.

- While Samuel was ministering to the Lord, Eli’s two sons were hindering the people’s worship (1 Samuel 2:11-36).

- The Lord cursed Eli’s lineage saying, “There will not be an old man in your house” (1 Samuel 2:31).

- Hophni and Phinehas would both die on the same day in battle against the Philistines (1 Samuel 4:17).

- The Ark of God was captured by the Philistines (1 Samuel 4:17)

- Eli died when he heard the news of his sons’ death and the capture of the Ark (1 Samuel 4:18).

- Eli’s daughter-in-law, the wife of Phineas, went into apparent premature labor and died giving birth (1 Samuel 4:19-22).

Apparently God takes the way we raise our sons quite seriously.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like we’re losing our sons.  Take a look around.  What do you see?  Everywhere you look men are leaving the church, leaving their wives, throwing out the Word of God as the authority in their lives.  The call of God to raise men to know Him and fear Him still stands.  But are we doing that?

I don’t think so.

I submit to you that as a culture, we’ve been more like Eli than we care to admit.  Our sons don’t know the Father God, because their fathers (and mothers) don’t know the Father God.  They don’t see a big difference between what the world says it means to be a man and what they see in church.  According to author John Eldredge, men in the church don't even know what it means to be godly men. They're bored, tired and most feel that to align themselves with the teaching of the church means to die to what's in their hearts.

All it takes to lose the truth of the Word of God is one set of parents who fail to teach it.  And the result can be generations of men who don’t know and fear the Lord.  Imagine the impact for a moment.  It’s a lot to take in.

But the good news is this: you can choose right now to go to war for your sons’ hearts.  It’s never too late.  Contrary to popular belief, the battle won’t be won by reading and implementing the best parenting techniques.  It won’t be won through late night talks, lectures on right and wrong, or even committing to a Bible-preaching church.  These things are all part of the equation, but they don’t trump the most important piece of the fight.

Prayer. This battle is best fought on your knees.

Study Questions

1.    In this chapter, Brooke says that “all it takes to lose the truth of the Word of God is one set of parents who fail to teach it.”  Did your parents raise you in a Christian home to know and love the Lord? What kind of impact has your upbringing had on the way you parent your sons?

2.    How does it make you feel to know that a godly man, such as Eli, could fail to raise his sons to know and love the Lord?

3.    Have you ever thought about the importance of raising sons from the perspective of this story? What kind of response does this create in your heart?

4.    Do you believe God holds us responsible for the way we train our children?

5.    Pray and ask the Lord to show you any ways that you've failed to raise your sons to know and love Him and how you can change this to bring glory to Him.  Praise Him for the way He has led you so far.

Heart Change

May__________first clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean (Matthew 23:26).

Give__________a new heart, and a new spirit put within him. Remove the heart of stone from his flesh and give him a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

May__________honor God with his heart, and not just his lips (Isaiah 29:13).

May__________out of the good treasure of his heart produce good, for out of the abundance of his heart his mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).

May__________'s heart cry be, “not my will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42).

May__________draw near to God, and He will draw near to him. May he cleanse his hands and purify his heart (James 4:8).

Create in__________a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within him (Psalm 51:10).

May__________be like the wise man, whose heart inclines him to the right (Ecclesiastes 10:2).

May__________not take idols into his heart, and set the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face (Ezekiel 14:3).

When he hears the Word of the Lord, may__________be cut to the heart (Acts 2:37).

The Importance of Obedience

“Children obey your parents in the Lord … ” ~Ephesians 6:1

“Son,” I said to the droopy-eyed little boy standing in front of me, “what did you do wrong?”  Feet shuffled, hands crossed, and impatient legs squirmed around with the discomfort of being caught.  He looked up at me and said, “I didn’t obey.”

The Importance of Obedience

When my sons were very little we started using the word “obey,” intentionally choosing to make it a part of their vocabulary before they could truly understand its meaning.  We decided not to use phrases like, “mind your mommy!” or, “do what I say!” because we wanted to train our sons to think in biblical language.  Believe me, it didn’t take long for them to understand what the word meant.

There’s great debate over when parents should begin disciplining their children, but to us, the decision was extremely easy: when the child begins to deliberately disobey, he or she should be disciplined.  This earth-shattering moment, when mommy’s angel looks up with malicious intent and screams, “NO!” is easy to recognize as disobedience.  Every mom knows when that moment comes.  That’s why the word “obey” is such an important part of the parenting process.

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is right.  ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” ~Ephesians 6:1-3

Moms, we MUST teach our sons to obey us.  Obedience and submission to authority is a normal part of life.  For the rest of their days, our sons will have to submit to someone or something.  Even if your son becomes the CEO of the biggest, most powerful company (or country) in the world, he will still have to answer to his Maker, God.  Training them now to respect authority and submit to it sets them up for success of the greatest kind.

Why Obedience is Important for Boys

Before we were married, my husband and I attended a conference  together on the topic of biblical relationships.  During the session on selecting a mate, the speaker said something I will never forget:

“Ladies, if your man cannot submit to Jesus, he cannot lead you.  A man must be willing to be led before he can truly lead.”

Life-changing words.

Training our sons to obey their parents is not an option.  Scripture is full of warnings for parents and children alike who neglect this important detail.  And in the teaching of obedience lies one of the most glorious opportunities to prove the Gospel message to our sons.

It goes something like this:

“Son, you’re right. You didn’t obey mommy.  God says you must obey mommy and daddy, doesn’t He?  It’s hard to obey, isn’t it?  Everything in you wants your own way!  It’s fun to hit your brother sometimes.  It’s fun to be too loud and sometimes, it makes you feel good about yourself to tell mommy no.  But God, Who made you, says you must obey.  You can’t do it by yourself, can you?  No matter how hard you try to be good and obey mommy, you just can’t get it right all the time.  That’s why we love God so much, Son!  He knew you couldn’t do it by yourself!  He knew you would choose to sin instead of obey!  He knew you would need help!  So He sent His only Son Jesus to die for your sins and take the punishment you deserved.  Then God raised Jesus from the dead and now Jesus is with God in heaven, just waiting for you to confess your sin and ask Him to help you fight the sin in your heart!  Isn’t that great news?  We need Jesus! Let’s pray now and ask Jesus to help you!”*

Of course when and how you share this message will depend on the age and maturity of your son.  But it’s easy to see how teaching our boys to obey leads directly and naturally to the Gospel message.  If our boys never learn the importance of obeying and see their inability to obey by themselves, how will they ever recognize their need for a Savior?

So let’s pray for the hearts of our sons to grasp the need to obey.  And while we’re at it, let’s pray that the Lord renews our vision and ability to teach them this vital lesson.

“Lord, please soften my son’s heart and place the desire within him to obey his parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Help him to honor his father and mother, that it may go well with him and that he might live long in the land.  And help me to embrace a lifestyle of obedience, so that my life might be an example to him.  Give me a new vision for teaching and training my son in obedience. Amen.”

Study Questions

1.    Describe the first time your son(s) deliberately disobeyed you.  Did you recognize it immediately? How did it make you feel?

2.    Do you have a plan for teaching your son(s) obedience?  Or are you more of a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of parent?

3.    Have you ever considered how teaching obedience leads naturally to a deeper understanding of the Gospel?

4.    In the book, Brooke talks about hearing a speaker say these words: “Ladies, if your man cannot submit to Jesus, he cannot lead you.  A man must be willing to be led before he can truly lead.” How does this change your understanding of the importance of teaching your son(s) obedience?

5.    Are there any discipline practices you've been using that need to be tweaked in order to better reflect the Gospel message?

* Please see the Resources page at the end of this book for more information on the topic of obedience.

Obedience

Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, may ___________ obey the LORD our God so that it will go well with him (Jeremiah 42:6).

May __________ obey his parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1).

May __________ obey his leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over his soul, as those who will have to give an account. Let __________ do this with joy and not with groaning (Hebrews 13:17).

May __________ obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).

May __________ return to the LORD His God, and obey with all his heart and all his soul all the commands God has given (Deuteronomy 30:2).

May __________ walk after the LORD His God and fear Him and keep His commandments and obey His voice.  May he serve Him and hold fast to Him (Deuteronomy 13:4).

May __________ stop his sinning and begin to obey the LORD his God (Jeremiah 26:13).

May __________ obey Jesus' commandments, and remain in His love (John 15:10).

May __________ show his love for Christ by obeying His commands (John 14:15).

May we be full of joy at __________'s obedience (Romans 16:19).

Submission to Authority

May__________obey his leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over his soul, as those who will have to give an account. Let him do this with joy and not with groaning (Hebrews 13:17).

May__________submit himself therefore to God. May he resist the devil, so he will flee from him (James 4:7).

May__________submit to laborers of the Gospel and to everyone who joins in the work (1 Corinthians 16:16).

May__________submit to others out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

May__________be subject to the Father of spirits and live (Hebrews 12:9).

May__________agree with God, and be at peace; so good will come to him (Job 22:21).

May__________be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God (Romans 13:1).

May__________submit himself to the LORD (2 Chronicles 30:8).

May__________, who is younger, be subject to the elders. May he clothe himself with humility toward others, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).

For freedom Christ has set us free; may__________stand firm therefore, and not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1).

Changing Our Aim

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.  And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.” ~Ezekiel 36:26-27

I swear--young boys are a whole different breed of human.  Mothers of girls often glare at me as if to say, “Do they act that way all the time?”  I often want to glare right back and say, “Yes!  They do!”

Parenting my sons is my greatest joy and my greatest challenge.  I love them to the ends of the earth and back, but honestly, sometimes they suck the life out of me.  I get so discouraged when it seems that even my best efforts to reach their hearts miss the mark.  I have all the right books (and I’ve actually read them--some several times!).  Each day I target the hearts of my boys, aiming high and taking my best shot.  But so many days I fall short, or my aim is off, or I’m just too weary to pull the bow back far enough for the arrow to have the strength to pierce the heart.  I go to bed those nights exhausted physically and emotionally.  But in my weakness, He is strong.

Perhaps the best place for a weary mom to be is physically and emotionally exhausted and on her knees.

With each day that passes, I’m more convinced that I have absolutely no power to change the hearts of my boys.  Oh, I can change their behavior if I try hard enough.  Anyone can do that.  But I know that what’s in the heart eventually comes out.  I know that if their knees are ever to bend to Jesus as Savior, their hearts must bend first.  And that’s God’s business.

I’m praying that you’ll grasp this concept so clearly that it will bring you strength and peace in the midst of your wildest storms.  You cannot change the hearts of your boys.  You can’t.  Period.  It’s not your job.  It’s so important that you get this, friends, because you’re going to want to be able to change their hearts more than anything in the world.  Days, months, maybe even years of endless toil and labor for the sake of your sons will go by with no apparent fruit.  Night after night you will cry out to the Lord for change.  Day after day you will parent intentionally seeking the heart of your son.  But until the King of kings and Lord of lords turns his heart of stone to a heart of flesh, your son’s actions will be motivated by what is pleasing to himself rather than by what is pleasing to the Lord.

As we journey into this process of praying for our sons, let’s remember this foundational concept: the first and most important thing we must do is pray that God will change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh.  These verses from Ezekiel thirty-six have become the theme of my parenting.  I pray them for my sons most every day.  Because I know that until their hearts are softened by the Lord, to the Lord, nothing else matters all that much.

So pray, Mommas.  Pray for the hearts of your sons.  Pray hard and pray long. What better way could there be to wear out our knees than by spending time on them crying out to the Lord in prayer?

“Lord, take my sons’ hearts of stone and turn them to hearts of flesh. Amen.”

Study Questions

1.    At the beginning of this chapter, Brooke shares a story of her experience with mothers of girls. Can you relate to the differences between boys and girls that she describes?

2.    Have you ever found yourself physically and emotionally exhausted from parenting your son(s)? How have you handled it in the past?

3.    In this chapter, Brooke says, “...what's in the heart eventually comes out.  I know that if their knees are ever to bend to Jesus as Savior, their hearts must bend first.  And that's God's business.” Have you given much thought to what God expects of you as a parent, versus the things that are really His job?  Make a list below of things that you know are your job, and compare it with a list of things that God says are His job.

My Job                     /                     God's Job

4.    Consider your own parenting style.  Is the way you interact with your son(s) targeting the heart and motivating them toward real heart-change?  Or do you mainly focus on changing behavior?

5.    Jesus called the Pharisees “white-washed tombs” (Matthew 23:27) because they only cared about how they appeared on the outside, and not about cleaning up their hearts.  How does this apply to the way we need to raise our sons?

Integrity

May__________walk before You, as David his father walked, with integrity of heart and uprightness, doing according to all that God has commanded him, and keeping His statutes and His rules (1 Kings 9:4).

Till he dies, may__________never put away his integrity (Job 27:5).

May__________ponder the way that is blameless and walk with integrity of heart within God’s house (Psalm 101:2).

May__________show himself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in his teaching show integrity, dignity (Titus 2:7).

Like Joseph, may__________hear the word of the Lord and obey (from Luke 1:27).

Like Daniel, may__________resolve not to defile himself (from Daniel 1:8).

Like Paul, may__________learn to be content in any situation (Philippians 4:11).

Like Timothy, may__________set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

Like David with Goliath, may__________stand up for the living God (1 Samuel 17).

Like Abraham, may__________obey God in faith (Genesis 12).

Men Set Apart

"But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself. And God gave Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of the eunuchs … “ ~ Daniel 1:8-9

Daniel was a young man committed to obeying God. Scripture tells us that he was literally stolen from his family and country, and made to live and serve a people not his own.  We know from Daniel 1:1-7 that he had been taken to Babylon because he was considered a youth “without blemish, of good appearance and skillful in all wisdom, endowed with knowledge, understanding, learning, and competent to stand in the king’s palace … ”  In other words, Daniel had had some fine raising.  At the time of his capture he was already a good, smart boy (not to mention handsome).

The king’s desire was for Daniel and his friends to teach him the language of the Chaldeans.  I don’t know about you, but if I were Daniel’s mama I would be so proud!  Here’s a young man who is not only smart, but so smart that he can actually teach others!  Don’t we moms all want our boys to excel in school?  Of course we do!  We hope that they will get a good education and that one day, all the money and time we’ve spent on that education will pay off in a successful job.  Now, I’m not saying that Daniel’s mama was happy that he had been taken from his home.  Rather, I’m suggesting that Daniel was a young man a mama could easily be proud to call her own.  Sounds like he excelled at everything.

Soon after Daniel arrived in Babylon, though, he found himself faced with a choice.  In verse five we find out that the king wanted the boys he had stolen fattened up a bit--both in weight and in knowledge.  Daniel and his friends were to be schooled for three years and given daily portions of the king’s food and wine.  Unspoken, but apparent in these verses, is that the king’s food and wine must have broken some of the dietary laws set forth by God.  Our smart, handsome, wise, knowledgeable, competent young man had a decision to make: honor God or honor the king?

Daniel chose God.  And God honored Daniel and used him to draw those around him to Himself.

Which is more important?  That Daniel was handsome and well educated, or that when faced with a choice to sin, he chose obedience?  If you're anything like me, the greatest desire of your heart is for your son to be a mighty man of God. You dream of him being a man of integrity, a man of principle, and a man who loves Jesus.  You dare to hope that when the day of temptation comes, he will stand strong and fight for Truth.

It's the desire of your heart. But I'm guessing that you have no idea how to make it happen.

Me neither.

But I do know this: the best parenting in the world cannot make this dream come true. The only way our boys will become like Daniel is for their hearts to be changed. Remember, Scripture tells us that it is God alone who turns hearts of stone to hearts of flesh.

So, I'm praying that the Lord will give my boys a heart like Daniel.  A warrior’s heart that is set apart.

"Lord, I pray that my son will resolve not to defile himself with what the world has to offer. I ask for boldness for him in standing up for what is right, just like Daniel did. And that You would give him favor and compassion in the sight of those he will encounter.  Amen."

Study Questions

1.    Take a moment and think about your dreams for your sons. Be honest.  Do you dream of having sons who are “without blemish, of good appearance and skillful in all wisdom, endowed with knowledge, understanding, learning, and competent to stand in the king's palace?”

2.    While attending a homeschool conference, Brooke heard Ken Ham, of Answers in Genesis, say “I would rather my children be ditch diggers and love Jesus, than PhDs and go to hell.”  What is your response to this quote?

3.    In your parenting thus far, have you focused more on your son(s)' accomplishments and life experiences, or on teaching him a godly worldview?

4.    Have your son(s) faced challenges similar to what Daniel faced?  How have they handled them in the past?  How can you help them handle challenges in the future in a way that honors God?

5.    Do your son(s) have friends who challenge them to be more like Christ?  If not, pray that God would send these friends to provide a positive influence for them.

Avoiding Foolishness

May __________ avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless (Titus 3:9).

May __________ have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; for they breed quarrels (2 Timothy 2:23).

May __________ not participate in filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving (Ephesians 5:4).

May __________ hear these words of Yours, act on them, and avoid being like a foolish man who built his house on the sand (Matthew 7:26).

May __________ be more like a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to take advice (Ecclesiastes 4:13).

May __________ not be foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures (Titus 3:3).

May __________ leave the presence of a fool, for there he will not meet words of knowledge (Proverbs 14:7).

May __________ not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:17).

May our sons be like a poor person who walks in his integrity rather than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool (Proverbs 19:1).

May __________ have a wise man’s heart inclining him to the right, and not a fool’s heart inclining to the left (Ecclesiastes 10:2).

Pride

May__________not have a haughty spirit, for pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

May__________be lowly in spirit and obtain honor, for one’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor (Proverbs 29:23).

Lord, make__________turn from doing wrong and keep him from pride (Job 33:17).

Lord, please break__________‘s proud spirit (Leviticus 26:19).

May__________take advice and gain wisdom, for with insolence comes nothing but strife (Proverbs 13:10).

May__________not be a “Scoffer” the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride (Proverbs 21:24).

Lord, give us the pleasure of taking great pride in__________, being filled with comfort (2 Corinthians 7:4).

Let__________test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor (Galatians 6:4).

Let not the foot of arrogance come upon__________, nor the hand of the wicked drive him away (Psalm 36:11).

Let__________talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from his mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed (1 Samuel 2:3).

Honor

May__________know that both riches and honor come from God, and that He rules over all (1 Chronicles 29:12).

May__________fear the Lord, and receive honor (Psalm 15:4).

May the LORD bestow favor and honor upon__________.  No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).

Lord, be with__________in trouble; rescue him and honor him (Psalm 91:15).

May__________honor the LORD with his wealth and with the firstfruits of all his produce (Proverbs 3:9).

May__________be wise and inherit honor (Proverbs 3:35).

May__________honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor (1 Peter 2:17).

May__________honor his father and mother, for this is the first commandment with a promise (Ephesians 6:2).

May__________honor the face of an old man (Leviticus 19:32).

May__________do good, and receive glory, honor and peace (Romans 2:10).

Purity

May__________have love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5).

May__________hope in God and thus purify himself (1 John 3:3).

May__________have religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unstained from the world (James 1:27).

May__________think on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, may he think about these things (Philippians 4:8).

May__________be like the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matthew 5:8).

May there be no violence in__________'s hands, and his prayer be pure (Job 16:17).

May__________be pure, because even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright (Proverbs 20:11).

May__________'s love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that he may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ (Philippians 1:9-10).

How can__________keep his way pure? By guarding it according to God’s Word (Psalm 119:9).

May__________be blameless and innocent, a child of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation (Philippians 2:15).

Servant’s Heart

May__________ be a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ (James 1:1).

May__________follow Christ; and where He is, may__________be also. If anyone serves Christ, the Father will honor him (John 12:26).

May__________be like Moses, faithful in all God’s house as a servant (Hebrews 3:5).

As the Lord’s servant, may__________not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness (2 Timothy 2:24-25).

May__________not use his freedom to satisfy his sinful nature. Instead, may he use his freedom to serve others in love (Galatians 5:13).

May__________use his spiritual gifts to serve others, as good stewards of God’s varied grace (1 Peter 4:10).

May__________serve wholeheartedly, as if he were serving the Lord, not men (Ephesians 6:7).

Let__________be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and let him offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe (Hebrews 12:28).

May__________be a servant, for the greatest among us shall be servants (Matthew 23:11).

May__________fear the LORD his God and serve him only (Deuteronomy 6:13).

The Fruit of the Spirit

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”   ~ Galatians 5:22

When my youngest son was born, my husband and I were convinced that we had been given a gift from God.  Those of you who have strong-willed firstborns will understand what I’m talking about.  For the first four months of his life, Sam was a laid-back, easy-to-please kind of guy.  He didn’t really cry much unless he was hungry.  He slept well almost from the beginning, and generally just had a sweet, sweet spirit.

Then one night in his fourth month, Sam woke up in the middle of the night screaming.  When I felt his little forehead it was blazing hot.  And thus began a five-month battle against one big, long, ear infection.  We tried every antibiotic in the book.  We took him to a chiropractor.  We prayed into the night (‘cause goodness knows we weren’t sleeping!).  We did everything we could think of to give Sam relief from the pain for five straight months!  At that point, the doctor was finally convinced that it wasn’t going to get better anytime soon, and scheduled surgery to put tubes in his little ears at just nine months of age.

For five months my little guy, who had never screamed before, learned that if he screamed, Mommy and Daddy came running. And so we did--night after night.

While working one night, my husband actually fell asleep at a red light!  I could barely function during the day, and was routinely late to work.  Our family life was suffering too, as our ability to function was being sucked away into a vacuum of sleep deprivation.

The good news is that Sam has only had one or two ear infections since he had the tubes inserted at nine months.  The ear infections that caused him so much pain have gone away.  But something else stayed: the screaming.

I believe that my precious little one, so mellow and agreeable, learned how to scream for what he wanted during this horrible, painful time in his life.  And I believe that it changed him.  Instead of having a happy-go-lucky little guy, we now struggle daily with a son whose heart doesn’t appear to be full of joy, just a desire to have what he wants when he wants it, or else.  A night and day change in personality that rocked our family structure.

I was so mad at God.  My first son was strong-willed, or so I had thought, and now my second one was blowing him out of the water!  “How could You do this to me, Lord?” was the cry of my heart for so many nights.

Then one day, more out of stubbornness than submission, I began to pray for the Lord to give me my baby back.  “You allowed this into his life, Lord, now You change it back!”  Every night, as I rocked Sam and soothed him before bed I would pray for God to root the fruit of the Spirit into his little heart.  Many nights, as he threw massive temper-tantrums, I would just hold him, rub his sweet little head and say, “Mommy loves you, Sammy.  Mommy loves you, Sammy,” as I prayed.

I wish I could tell you that those two years of praying this prayer over and over again have changed Sam back to the baby he used to be.  It hasn’t.  But slowly I am beginning to see glimpses of that sweet spirit again.  Slowly I am replacing months of negative training with training that addresses his heart.

And I continue to pray that his heart will be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.  Join me?

"Lord, fill my sons’ hearts with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Amen."

Study Questions

1.    There comes a time in every child's life, when the sin-nature starts to show its ugly head.  For Brooke and her husband, this came accompanied by a difficult, life-altering challenge that made it difficult for them to train their son.  Can you relate?

2.    When things don't go as you planned, and life seems to throw you a curve-ball, what is your heart's response?  Do you get angry with God? Stop talking to Him?

3.    Have you had times where your children's behavior or illness has threatened your family life or marriage?  Describe a time like that here.

4.    How did you resolve the situation above?  If it's not resolved, how can you begin to pray for God's protection and leading?

5.    Have you ever felt like one of your children's personalities changed practically overnight?  How did you respond?

Love

May__________ not love the world or the things in the world (1 John 2:15).

May our sons love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God (1 John 4:7).

May our sons love one another earnestly from a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22).

May our sons, when they become husbands, love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28).

May the Lord make__________increase and abound in love (1 Thessalonians 3:12).

May__________know that this is love, that we walk according to His commandments (2 John 1:6).

May__________not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).

May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to __________ (Jude 1:2).

May __________ love the LORD his God with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might (Deuteronomy 6:5).

May__________know that this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:10).

Joy

May the joy of the Lord be__________'s (Nehemiah 8:10).

May__________be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

May__________go out in joy and be led forth in peace (Isaiah 55:12)

May the God of hope fill__________with all joy and peace as he trusts in him, so that he may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).

May__________go to the altar of God, to God, his joy and his delight (Psalm 43:4).

May__________count it all joy when he meets trials of various kinds, as the testing of his faith produces steadfastness. May he let steadfastness have its full effect, that he may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:1-4).

May__________know that while weeping may tarry for the night, joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5).

May__________be imitators of us and of the Lord (1 Thessalonians 1:6).

May the God of hope fill__________with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit he may abound in hope (Romans 15:13).

May__________know that the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).

Peace

Let__________turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it (1 Peter 3:11).

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give__________peace at all times in every way (2 Thessalonians 3:16).

Peace God leaves with__________; His peace He gives to__________. Not as the world gives does God give.  Let not__________'s heart be troubled, neither let him be afraid (John 14:27).

May__________be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage others. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with him (2 Corinthians 13:11).

May__________sow a harvest of righteousness by making peace (James 3:18).

And let the peace of Christ rule in__________'s heart, to which indeed he was called in one body. And be thankful (Colossians 3:15).

May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to__________(Jude 1:2).

May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard__________'s heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

May__________be justified by faith, and have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1).

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify__________completely, and may his whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23).

Patience

May__________be an example of suffering and patience (James 5:10).

May__________be strengthened with all power, according to God’s glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy (Colossians 1:11).

May__________prove himself by his purity, understanding, patience, kindness, by the Holy Spirit within him, and by His sincere love (2 Corinthians 6:6).

May__________preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching (2 Timothy 4:2).

May__________not presume on the riches of God’s kindness and forbearance and patience, knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead him to repentance (Romans 2:4).

May__________put on then, as God’s chosen one, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience (Colossians 3:12).

May__________be patient, for the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit (Ecclesiastes 7:8).

May__________have good sense making him slow to anger, for it is his glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).

May__________make every effort to add to his faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love (2 Peter 1:5-7).

May__________be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness (Titus 2:2).

Kindness

May the LORD now show__________kindness and faithfulness (2 Samuel 2:6).

May__________be kind and compassionate to others, forgiving, just as in Christ God forgave him (Ephesians 4:32).

May__________, as the Lord’s servant, not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil (2 Timothy 2:24).

May__________never repay anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to others and to everyone (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Let__________'s speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that he may know how he ought to answer each person (Colossians 4:6).

May__________love others with brotherly affection and outdo others in showing honor (Romans 12:10).

May the Lord bless__________and keep him.  May the Lord make His face shine upon him

and be gracious to him; the Lord turn his face toward him and give him peace (Numbers 6:23-26).

May__________not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2).

May__________be kind to others, tenderhearted, forgiving others, as God in Christ forgave Him (Ephesians 4:32).

May__________live in harmony with others; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Peter 3:8).

Goodness

May__________glad of heart for all the goodness that the LORD has shown to his people (1 Kings 8:66).

May goodness and mercy follow__________all the days of his life, and may he dwell in the house of the LORD forever (Psalm 23:6).

Remember not the sins of__________'s youth or his transgressions; according to Your steadfast love remember__________, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD (Psalm 25:7).

May__________believe that he shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13).

How abundant is Your goodness, which you have stored up for__________and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind (Psalm 31:19).

May__________be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple (Psalm 65:4).

May__________taste the goodness of the word of God (Hebrews 6:5).

It is not good that__________should be alone; Lord, make him a helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18).

May__________do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may go well with him (Deuteronomy 6:18).

May__________go and celebrate because of all the good things the LORD his God has given to him (Deuteronomy 26:11).

Faithfulness

May__________fear the LORD and serve Him in sincerity and in faithfulness (Joshua 24:14).

May__________fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all his heart, considering what great things He has done for him (1 Samuel 12:24).

All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness for__________as he keeps His covenant and His testimonies (Psalm 25:10).

May God’s steadfast love be before__________'s eyes, as he walks in His faithfulness (Psalm 26:3).

May__________trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness (Psalm 37:3).

May the Lord never remove from__________His steadfast love or be false to His faithfulness (Psalm 89:33).

May the Lord cover__________with His pinions, and under His wings may he find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckle to__________(Psalm 91:4).

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake__________; may he bind them around his neck; write them on the tablet of his heart (Proverbs 3:3).

May__________call this to mind and therefore have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love he is not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.  May__________say to himself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  (Lamentations 3:21-24).

No temptation has overtaken__________that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let him be tempted beyond his ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that __________may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Gentleness

May__________know that a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).

May__________take God’s yoke upon Him, and learn from Him, for He is gentle and lowly in heart, then__________will find rest for his soul (Matthew 11:29).

May__________be completely humble and gentle; patient, bearing with others in love (Ephesians 4:2).

May__________be gentle, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children (1 Thessalonians 2:7).

May__________not be a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:3).

May__________pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness (1 Timothy 6:11).

May__________correct his opponents with gentleness that God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 2:25).

May__________speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, be gentle, and show perfect courtesy toward all people (Titus 3:2).

May__________have wisdom from above that is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere (James 3:17).

May__________honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks him for a reason for the hope that is in him; yet do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15).

Self-Control

May__________know that he is God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in him (1 Corinthians 3:16).

May__________not let sin therefore reign in his mortal body, to make him obey its passions. May he not present his members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present himself to God as one who has been brought from death to life, and his members to God as instruments for righteousness (Romans 6:12-13).

May__________present his body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is his spiritual worship. May he not be conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewal of his mind, that by testing he may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).

May__________discipline his body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others he himself should be disqualified (1 Corinthians 9:27).

Whether__________eats or drinks, or whatever he does, may he do it all to the glory of God (Ephesians 5:15).

Let not__________'s heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day (Proverbs 23:17)

Remove far from__________falsehood and lying; give him neither poverty nor riches; feed him with the food that is needful for him (Proverbs 30:8).

Let the words of__________mouth and the meditation of his heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, his Rock and his Redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

May__________have a tranquil heart that gives life to the flesh (Proverbs 14:30).

May__________be wise in doing right and stay innocent of any wrong (Romans 16:19).

When Hearts Soften

“But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” ~Luke 2:19

It's Christmas and the four of us sit gathered around the table, by candlelight, faces framed in light, hearts open to the Light as our Advent reading reminds us of the Reason for the season.  And we pray, and we eat, and it's relatively quiet--an anomaly in a house full of boys.

The most amazing things can happen over chili beans at Christmas.

My oldest slams his fist on the table out of nowhere and the light leading Mary to Bethlehem shakes with the force of it.  Lately he's been asking harder questions, like why he has to be kind to others when they aren't required to be kind to him.  Tonight his question throws my heart for a loop and I nearly choke on my chili beans.

"What is so important about Jesus?"

I wasn't prepared.  And the jar of his fist on the table sets the jabbers off in his little brother, who leans in and makes trouble and won't stop.  My heart is in shock that he doesn't know the answer when his whole life I've tried to show him Jesus.  My breath is taken away for a second, and while I try to communicate a lifetime of understanding in five year-old lingo, I notice that his eyes and his heart are far from me.  He says as much, "Mom, I can't pay attention when my little brother is acting like that."

A great sadness washes over me as I realize that the moment might have passed.  The last few days have threatened to break my resolve.  He's pushed me to the limit, this oldest son of mine, and I've been much on my knees praying for the wisdom that will let me reach his heart.  And when he asks THE question I can't even answer it because of his brother's childish foolishness.

Downcast.

I clean up dinner. We go on with the night, read our children's Advent book before bed and say our prayers.  He prays for his family, that we'll love each other better, and asks God to help him be kind.  His little brother prays for his daddy to be safe as he goes to work later, and I pray for wisdom in this thing called motherhood--always for wisdom.

Then daddy and little brother leave for bedtime snuggles and I, in turn, snuggle up to this little boy who pushes me to my end over and over again.  This one that God uses to keep me on my knees, break my vanity and my self-righteousness.  And in that moment God shows that He works ALL things together for good (Romans 8:28) by reaching into the heart that I pray for daily--the one I ask Him to change from stone to flesh--and He makes it flesh.  In the quiet moment, just us two, eye-to-eye and nose-to-nose, he asks again...

"Mommy, why is Jesus so important?"

Every Christmas, every day, I'm thankful for that babe in the manger whose life and death set me free.  But this Christmas I'm thankful for this celebration in a new way. For as we've worked hard to focus on the Babe, my babe's heart has softened a bit to the message of hope, the message of need, light, and salvation.

“Lord, may my sons know that Your Son, Jesus, is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and that no man comes to the Father but by Him. Amen” ~John 14:6

Study Questions

1.    Can you recall a time when you sensed your son's heart was soft to the message of the Gospel? Describe what happened here.

2.    Do your sons know the Lord?  Where are they in their walk with Him?  Where would you like them to be?

3.    Have you seen specific ways that God brought something beautiful from a situation you thought was lost with your son(s)?  Recall it here.

4.    In what ways do you strive to make the message of the manger come alive in the hearts of your son(s)?

5.    Have you made it a habit to pray for the salvation of your son(s)?  How has this study changed the way you pray for them so far?

Anger

May all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from __________, along with all malice (Ephesians 4:31).

May__________ put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from his mouth (Colossians 3:8).

May__________ give a soft answer, which turns away wrath, and avoid harsh words which stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

May__________ not be quick in his spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

May__________ never avenge himself, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19).

May__________ know that God Himself is our peace (Ephesians 2:14).

May__________ make peace, and so have a harvest of righteousness (James 3:18).

And let the peace of Christ rule in __________'s heart, to which indeed he was called in one body. And be thankful (Colossians 3:15).

May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard __________'s heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

May__________turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it (1 Peter 3:11).

Salvation

May __________ confess with his mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in his heart that God raised Him from the dead, and be saved (Romans 10:9).

May__________be saved by grace through faith. Not of his own doing; but the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8).

May__________believe in the God who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace, which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began (2 Timothy 1:9).

May__________fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will work for him today (Exodus 14:13).

May the LORD be__________'s light and his salvation; whom shall he fear? May the LORD be the stronghold of his life; of whom shall he be afraid?  (Psalm 27:1).

May__________take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17).

May__________work out his own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

May__________be guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time (1 Peter 1:5).

Lord, make Your face shine on__________; save him in Your steadfast love (Psalm 31:16).

Lord, save__________to the uttermost as he draws near to God through Christ (Hebrews 7:25).

The Power of Forgiveness

For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:21

We’ve all heard a little one, caught by his mommy in a deliberately sinful act, say “Sorrryyyy”

But does it really mean anything?  Probably not.

Tedd and Margy Tripp in their latest book, Instructing a Child’s Heart , say “we give our children big truths they will grow into rather than light explanations they will grow out of.”

I agree.

That’s why, from the very beginning, I’ve tried to teach my boys the difference between saying, “I’m sorry,” and “Please forgive me.”

The simple but profound difference between the two lies in the person’s intent.  When someone wounds me, inflicts pain, or generally does something that affects me adversely, it’s either done on purpose or it isn't.

The Cost of Forgiveness

One of the most awe-inspiring, wonderful blessings of being in relationship with Jesus, the Christ, is His all-encompassing, life-giving, life-changing grace.  The Bible says that Jesus “became sin” (2 Corinthians 5:21) and took the full punishment, wrath of God, in our place.  His grace and forgiveness are worth more than a lifetime of riches and gold.  Nothing compares to being free from the power of sin and resting in the peace of God’s grace and forgiveness.  But that forgiveness didn’t come cheap.

When to Use “I’m Sorry”

In our home, children are allowed to say they’re sorry if the result of their behavior was an accident.  When my oldest son knocks my youngest on the floor trying to get to daddy when he gets home, he can be sorry because it was an accident.  When my youngest slams a hard ball into his daddy’s face while hitting balls in the front yard, he can be sorry--it was clearly an accident (and yes, that actually happened, knocked my husband right off the pitcher’s mound).  Some behaviors can be clearly identified as accidental.  The appropriate response then is to apologize for inconveniencing another person.

Another example of accidental behavior that can be more difficult to distinguish is childish foolishness.  This occurs when our children do silly, harmful, but age-appropriate things, clearly lacking the ability to have prevented them.

Both kinds of behavior, clearly accidental or childish foolishness, require an apology.  It might go something like this:

“Little brother, I’m so sorry I knocked you down.  I was so excited to see daddy that I didn’t think.  Are you ok?”

Or, in the case of our three year-old, “Daddy, I’m so sorry I hit a home run in your face.” Good grief.

When to Ask for Forgiveness

The need for forgiveness occurs when one child (or one adult, for that matter) has deliberately sinned against another.  When little Johnny hits his younger brother out of anger because younger brother won’t share, he has sinned.  When little brother steals little Johnny’s toy right from his hands, he has sinned.  (Please notice: I said, “steal.” It’s important to think of our children’s behaviors, and our own, in terms of biblical language. Stealing is breaking one of the Ten Commandments and produces a little sinner in need of salvation. “Taking” someone’s toy is much less obvious and can confuse a child’s ability to see their behavior as described in the Bible.  Using biblical lingo helps keep the Bible relevant, and helps us to see our sin in its true light.)

It is sin to deliberately choose one's own desire in spite of the way it affects or hurts someone else. And sin requires repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.  Maybe it sounds a little like this:

“Big brother, will you forgive me for hitting you?  I was choosing to care more about that toy than I was your feelings or safety.”

Often it’s the simplest distinctions that have a profound affect on the way we understand the world.  Asking for forgiveness is humbling.  One must admit a wrongdoing and take responsibility for the sin in one's heart.  What a beautiful lesson for the men we’re raising to learn.  Let’s help them know how, when, and why to ask for forgiveness and pray that God develops repentant hearts and spirits within them.

“Lord, may my sons know the lengths You went to so that they could be forgiven. Amen.”

Study Questions

1.    Forgiveness can be such a stumbling block in our lives.  Tons of studies exist that prove that withholding forgiveness affects us not only spiritually, but also physically.  These facts, combined with what you've read in this chapter make a pretty compelling argument for teaching sons how to ask for forgiveness.  How have you done it in the past?

2.    What is your understanding of forgiveness?  Have you thought much about the difference between asking for forgiveness and offering an apology?

3.    Can you remember a funny example of when it was OK for your son(s) to offer an apology, such as the incident Brooke described in this chapter?  Describe it here.

4.    Have you ever asked your son(s) to forgive you for sinning against them?  Why?  Why Not? Could it be important?

5.    Has there ever been a moment of deep forgiveness between you and your son(s)?  Describe what that moment meant to you here.

Honesty

May__________speak the truth, giving honest evidence, and not be a false witness uttering deceit (Proverbs 12:17).

May__________have nothing to do with a false charge and not put an innocent or honest person to death (Exodus 23:7).

May__________live such a good life among the pagans that, though they accuse him of doing wrong, they may see his good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us (1 Peter 2:12).

May__________repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all (Romans 12:17).

May__________'s conduct be holy and righteous and blameless toward other believers (1 Thessalonians 2:10).

We pray to God that__________may not do wrong―not that we may appear to have met the test, but that he may do what is right, though we may seem to have failed (2 Corinthians 13:7).

May__________be trustworthy with a little, so he can also be trusted with much (Luke 16:10).

May__________be hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined (Titus 1:8).

May__________renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and live a self-controlled, upright, and godly life in the present age (Titus 2:12).

May__________'s lips be free from deceit (Psalm 17:1).

Humility

May__________humble himself before the Lord, and be exalted (James 4:10).

May__________humble himself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt him (1 Peter 5:6).

May God give grace to__________as he humbles himself (James 4:6).

If__________who is called by My Name humbles himself, and prays and seeks My Face and turns from his wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive this sin and heal his land (2 Chronicles 7:14).

Lord, lead the humble in what is right, and teach__________Your way (Psalm 25:9).

May__________have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind (1 Peter 3:8).

May__________take God’s yoke upon him, and learn from Him, for He is gentle and lowly in heart, and__________will find rest for his soul (Matthew 11:29).

May the LORD take pleasure in__________, and adorn the humble with salvation (Psalm 149:4).

May__________have all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with others in love (Ephesians 4:2).

May__________be subject to the elders. May he clothe himself with humility toward others, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).

Overcoming Fear

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

I’m afraid of something.  I can’t put my finger on it, but the cold grip feels of ice around my heart, and it’s a familiar hold.  I’m praying, asking, seeking the truth in it.  ”Trust” is all I hear.

I know fear is lack of trust, and lack of trust is lack of thanksgiving.  But I can’t make the ends meet here.

What am I afraid of?

The work.  The hard, tiring, endless work.  (I think that might be it).  Or maybe it’s the level of dependence that it calls for (a scoop of obedience and a dash of submission). Or the loss of control and pressure to get it right (Yes, that’s the recipe).

The whole thing rolled up into one big glob of something that looks like family.

Am I too hard?  Am I missing opportunities?  Can I give more?  I’m not sure, but these things are the deep waters today and I’m standing on the edge, looking down, and what I need to do is jump.  Jump and expect to be carried because He says He will.  Expect to be taught because He says He will.  Expect to be changed (me? need change?) because He loves me too much to leave me this way. Expect grace because He IS grace.  And He’s teaching me about it.

I need a talkin' to―a truth tellin'.  The Words from of Old that tell me who I am, and I need them to hold on to me, because when the challenge comes I’m liable to lose it when all I want to do is GET IT!  I want to get it right.  And I mostly get it wrong.

And I think I’m afraid that it will always be that way.  Will it Lord?  Can You really change this girl who has always looked the part on the outside but not so much on the inside?

I want the change.  My boys are too small to notice and they are so quick to forgive.  Thank You for that Lord.

Ah!  There it is!  The first thanks.  I’ve heard it precedes the miracle and I’ve taken the dare to find out for sure.  I think most of us are a lot messier on the inside than we let on.

Come thanksgiving.

And a moment of grace--it sneaks in after a morning of chaos and hard-heartedness.  The moment the light-bulb of the heart-kind comes on and I think he gets it just a little bit more than he did yesterday, this obedient, God-loving life.  I pray he does.  I PRAY he does, and in the prayer it strikes me that the fear comes from the not knowing and the not doing and the overwhelming desire to get it right when I so often get it wrong.  And wondering if my efforts--my prayers--will ever make a difference.  The moment of grace gives me hope that they do and that the God of the universe who made us, sees us.  And smiles.

Because He gives the grace.

“Lord, may my sons trust in You. May they fear not, knowing that You are with them; may they not be dismayed, for You are their God; You will strengthen them, You will help them, You will uphold them with Your righteous right hand. Amen”

Study Questions

1.    Have you ever experienced anything like what Brooke describes in this chapter?  A sense of fear in your parenting that you can't quite explain?  Describe your experience here.

2.    In this chapter, Brooke talks about trusting God to catch her as she dives off the edge of the cliff of her fears.  Do you expect God to teach you all you need to know about parenting your son(s)?

3.    Have you ever felt like you needed a “talkin' to – a truth tellin'?” Sometimes we need to be reminded of the truth about who we are. Can you relate?

4.    Do you ever feel bogged down by a fear that all of your prayers and hard work won't amount to anything in the life of your son(s)?

5.    How has God snuck in His grace to you when you feel this way?  Describe a time here when God reminded you of grace and gave you hope in His plans for your son(s).

Conclusion

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” ~Isaiah 43:19

I didn’t ask the Lord to make me a prayer warrior. But five years of a painful stripping, letting the facade of control slip away, has brought me to my knees.

*Struggling to nurse my firstborn. *A wreck that nearly took my grandmother’s life and two others. *Stroke after stroke that left my grandfather blind. *The Virginia Tech shootings--a friend full of potential killed that day--shot to death. Husband a first responder.  Rebellious pregnancy that leaves me contracting in stress all day long. *Father’s older brother dies on my son’s first birthday. *Father’s younger brother dies 10 months later – same genetic lung disease. *Grandmother fading away in her memories. *Two sons born 23 months apart, driving me to the edge and back every single day, stripping my pride, leaving me literally begging God for a miracle. *Husband who works shift work--people telling him they hope his family dies out of their own anger--and the stress? It follows him though he loves Jesus and he loves us.

Why do I pray?

You may look at these Warrior Prayers I pray for my sons and think I have it all together--“her children must be perfect with a mom who prays like that.” But you’re wrong.

I don’t pray because I have all the answers. I pray because I don’t.

Prayer? The desperate cry of a mama whose life has taught her she has so little control.

I cannot hold my children tightly enough to protect them from all harm, cannot force these brothers to love each other well, cannot control their actions, cannot keep them from losing the people they love, cannot ensure that they will turn out to be the men I dream they will be, cannot make them love the Lord.

I cannot change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

I don’t pray because I can. I pray because I can’t.

Prayer is the coming to the end of myself, the letting go, and placing my hope in the God who can. It’s putting none of my hope in what I can do, and all of my hope in what He has already done. It’s taking comfort in a God who loved deeply enough to save me and resting in the knowledge that He can do the same for my sons. It’s choosing to believe the truth of His Word--praying for its completion in the hearts of my sons--washing it over my tired heart and keeping my eyes on the One who straightens my path. It is enough for me and enough for my sons.

Wearing a posture of prayer as lifeline, hope, desperate plea to the God Who can.

Study Questions

1.    Think back on this entire book.  What has grabbed your heart the most?

2.    Are there specific areas that you know your son(s) will need your prayers the most?

3.    Was there one specific prayer that you found difficult to pray for your son(s)?  Why?

4.    How has this study changed the way you pray for your son(s)?

5.    In this chapter, Brooke says that she doesn't pray because she has all the answers.  She prays because she doesn't.  How has this study helped turn your eyes away from your own ability to change your sons, and turned them toward the only One who has the power to change hearts of stone to hearts of flesh?

The Prayer That Started It All

The week after New Year’s 2010 I took some time to evaluate priorities and seek wisdom from the Lord on where He wanted me to go and what I needed to focus on that year.

I know many of you did the same thing.

There were two main questions for which I sought answers from the Lord.

1. What are my priorities?

2. Who am I Lord? Who do You WANT me to be?

Right after turning out the lights that first night I laid my head down and began to pray question number one, “What are my priorities Lord?”

Within just a few moments my youngest son, then just two, began to cry for me. I hopped up out of bed and opened the door to his bedroom. His little body was right in front of the door, sitting there for who knows how long? When I squeezed through the opening, he reached up his precious little hands to me and said, “Mommy, want you!” I scooped him up and we took a few moments to rock his fears away.

And I knew.

I’m Mommy.  And I love being Mommy.  He needs Mommy right now.  And I want to be all that the Lord has called me to be in his life, and in his older brother’s life.

Priorities.

The Warrior Prayers you've just read in this eBook are the fruit of this realization in my life.  So, as we draw to a close, I thought it fitting to share with you the prayer I pray for my sons every night.  It's a conglomeration of some of my favorite verses to pray over them and the chapters and verses are listed below.

My Prayer:

“Lord, You alone change hearts of stone, to hearts of flesh. Place Your Spirit within my children and cause them to walk in Your statutes and to be careful to obey Your rules. For You know the plans You have for them; plans to prosper them and not to harm them, to give them a future and a hope. Let them fear You, Lord, and thus have a foundation for wisdom and a heart for instruction. Let them receive wisdom and incline their hearts to understanding. Help them not to lean on their own, limited understanding, but in all their ways to acknowledge You so that their paths will be straight. Protect them from walking in the counsel of the wicked and standing in the way of sinners, but lead them to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night. May they abide in the shadow of the Almighty and not fear the terror by night. May they walk by the Spirit and not gratify the desires of the flesh. Instead, may they be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. May their minds and thoughts be fixed on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, anything worthy of praise. May they not be conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewal of their minds. May they discern the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. May their love be genuine. May they abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. May they love one another with brotherly affection, outdoing one another in honor. May they do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than themselves. May they lie down and sleep in peace; for You alone, O Lord, make them to dwell in safety. Bless them Lord, and keep them, and make Your face shine upon them, and be gracious to them.”

(Scripture references: Ezekiel 36:26-27, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 2, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 1:3, Psalm 91, Galatians 5:16&22, Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:2, Romans 12:9-10, Psalm 4:8, Numbers 6:24).

About the Author

Brooke McGlothlin received her B.S. in Psychology from Virginia Tech (1999) and her Masters in Counseling from Liberty University (2003). A homeschooling mother of two young sons, Brooke is the Co-creator and Founder of the well-loved online community for moms of boys, the M.O.B. Society , and Creator of Warrior Prayers .

For ten years, Brooke has ministered to women in unplanned pregnancy through local Crisis Pregnancy Centers. In 2010 she stepped down from that career to do her most noble work ever--raise her sons.

One of her greatest passions is praying the Word over her boys. Brooke believes we are in a war for the hearts of our sons and that as Christian moms the battle begins on our knees. This eBook was birthed through her desire to pray for her own sons, and lead other moms of boys to do the same.

Brooke currently resides in Virginia with her husband--the man she’s had a crush on since the 3rd grade--two sons, their beloved English Bulldog, Deacon, and two fish she doesn’t particularly care for named Thunder and Lightning. She enjoys playing hard with her boys, photography  and ambassador-ing Christ to you at her personal blog, A Life in Need of Change.  You can find all of the different projects she's involved in by visiting www.brookemcglothlin.com.

In the fall, Brooke morphs into a slightly different person.  Most Saturdays you can find her jumping around the room and screaming at the television as she watches her beloved Virginia Tech Hokies play football.

You can follow her on Twitter as @BrookeWrites.

Did you find this book helpful? If so, would you consider liking it on Facebook? Find encouragement to pray for your sons every weekday at www.facebook.com/WarriorPrayers.

Resources

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. *Much of the inspiration for my parenting style has come from this book.

Instructing a Child's Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp

The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

Everyday Talk by Jay Younts

The Bible. The prayers throughout this book were all taken from either the ESV or NIV versions of the Bible.

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

First time obedience, really? An article by Sally Clarkson

Obedience is a pathway, not a procedure An article by Sally Clarkson

Warrior Prayers on Facebook

Warrior Prayers Inspirational Art Collection  by Michelle Pendergrass

The M.O.B. Society  (FOR moms of boys, BY moms of boys)

The M.O.B. Society on Facebook

A Life in Need of Change  (author's personal blog)

Join the 21 Days of Prayer for Sons challenge!

21 Days of Prayer for Sons is a prayer challenge for mothers of boys based on this eBook. It can be used  as a study for groups online, in church homegroups, Sunday School classes or Women's Bible Studies.  Visit www.warriorprayers.com for all the tools and resources you’ll need to get started leading your own challenge!

Table of Contents

Warrior Prayers

Praise for Warrior Prayers

Introduction

The Battle

Heart Change

The Importance of Obedience

Obedience

Submission to Authority

Changing Our Aim

Integrity

Men Set Apart

Avoiding Foolishness

Pride

Honor

Purity

Servant’s Heart

The Fruit of the Spirit

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-Control

When Hearts Soften

Anger

Salvation

The Power of Forgiveness

Honesty

Humility

Overcoming Fear

Conclusion

The Prayer That Started It All

About the Author

Resources

Table of Contents

Warrior Prayers

Praise for Warrior Prayers

Introduction

The Battle

Heart Change

The Importance of Obedience

Obedience

Submission to Authority

Changing Our Aim

Integrity

Men Set Apart

Avoiding Foolishness

Pride

Honor

Purity

Servant’s Heart

The Fruit of the Spirit

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-Control

When Hearts Soften

Anger

Salvation

The Power of Forgiveness

Honesty

Humility

Overcoming Fear

Conclusion

The Prayer That Started It All

About the Author

Resources