There Is No Death

Table of Contents

- Introduction

- Book Information

- Acknowledgements

- Preface

- Forward

- Chapter 1 - My Life Before

- Chapter 2 - The World of Spirits

- Chapter 3 - I Visit Hell

- Chapter 4 - I See the Future

- Chapter 5 - My Return to Mortality

- Chapter 6 - The Lessons I Learned in the Spirit World

- Chapter 7 - Commonly Asked Questions and Answers

There Is No Death

Introduction

Sarah Menet committed suicide in 1979,

but she didn’t die!

“Prior to the time the paramedics pronounced me dead at the scene of my ‘successful’ suicide, I had sought oblivion and darkness. Because of my horrific experiences in life, I knew that there was no God and therefore, no afterlife. And so, when I suddenly found myself watching the police and the paramedics work on my body from somewhere near the ceiling, I learned that I had been quite wrong.”

So begins the story of Sarah’s extraordinary experience. It is without a doubt the most complete and extensive NDE ever recorded. Sarah not only visited the beautiful spirit world, describing the people living there, their dress, activities and buildings, but she visited what we call “hell” and describes the torment of those committed to that terrible place. She saw many things and received answers to many questions, such as:

— Why are terrible things allowed to happen to good people?

— Why are we here on earth?

— What happens to us after we die?

— What is deja vu?

— Is there such a thing as reincarnation?

— What is hell like?

Sarah was also shown many future events which would shortly happen upon the earth. One of the things she saw, which was to signal the beginning of those events, was some tall buildings in New York collapsing amidst smoke and dust and people running. She also saw a great plague suddenly strike four cities in the United States, a nuclear missile from Libya attack Israel to start a nuclear war, and many other things.

There Is No Death

Book Information

There Is No Death

Printed Version ISBN 0-9664970-5-8

Copyright 2002 and 2013 by Mountain Top Publishing.

All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be copied or used without

obtaining express and written permission in advance from

Mountain Top Publishing.

Published by

Mountain Top Publishing

PO Box 97

Philipsburg, MT 59858

406-859-5555

www.thereisnodeath.com

There Is No Death

Acknowledgements

I sincerely want to express my love and appreciation to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for the trials and triumphs I have experienced thus far while on this journey we call life. I am grateful to have been given an understanding of how we lived before we came to earth, why we are here and the meaning of life, and what waits for each of us when we leave this existence. I am thankful for the wonderful and enlightened men and women who were lead by the Great God to assist in bringing this work to pass. I thank them for the endless hours of transcribing and editing—most of all for their personal efforts, support, and living examples of love to me. I pray that God will bless me with the light to draw my brothers and sisters throughout the world closer to Him who gave them life and loves each one of them.

There Is No Death

Preface

Publisher’s note:

Sarah is a unique and remarkable person that those who have come to know her have learned to love quickly. She is also unique in that she has no grand designs for, or visions of, using the proceeds from this book. She is concerned that people might think she is doing this for the money and therefore has requested that most of the proceeds from this book be donated to charities and religious groups.

This is even more remarkable when you consider her circumstances. Sarah receives $800 a month disability income and lives with her son in a very small apartment. Because of her blindness, she doesn’t own a car and needs someone to accompany her whenever she leaves her house. She says this is all she needs and it is sufficient.

Sarah attempted suicide and had her death experience in 1979 at the age of 30. It will become obvious, after reading her story, that even after her experience her life has not been easy—a situation which continues even today. Suffice it to say that Sarah hides a lot of pain and tiredness with a quick smile and immediate love and acceptance, even while counseling constantly with those who have gone through or are going through tremendous trials of their own. She offers hope, compassion, and insight as she uniquely can.

Finally, the editors and staff at Mountain Top Publishing wish to express what a great pleasure it has been working with Sarah in trying to put her remarkable and very personal experience down on paper. It has affected us all greatly. Our hope is that it will do the same for those who take time to read and ponder over it.

There Is No Death

Forward

Sarah attempted suicide and had her near-death experience in 1979 at the age of 30. At the printing of this book she has serious health problems but has a quick smile and immediate love for those she meets. She counsels constantly with those who have gone through or are going through tremendous trials of their own, and she offers hope, compassion, and insight as she uniquely can. Sarah also spends a lot of time in the hospice program and speaking to people, singly and in increasingly large groups, about her experience.

It should be noted that even after her experience, her life has not been easy. About eight years ago she woke up blind one morning—a result of her diabetes—and a few days later collapsed from kidney failure and congestive heart failure. When she was released from the hospital, the doctors told her she needed a kidney transplant immediately or she would probably die within a year or two. Her kidneys were functioning at approximately one percent. Eight years later and without the transplant, she has been advised that she needs to receive dialysis treatments but so far has refused. Unbelievably, she continues to talk to those who are searching for answers and helps many through difficult problems. Individuals call from all walks of life and various parts of the country. She believes time is running out for society to make positive changes.

Sarah says she looks forward to the time when she will be called back to the spirit world she visited and be in the presence of her Savior one more time, because she knows that there really is no such thing as death.

There Is No Death

Chapter 1 - My Life Before

I do not like the term near-death experience. There was nothing “near-death” about it, even though we refer to it as such. Those on the other side refer to it as the new birth. Prior to the time the paramedics pronounced me dead at the scene of my “successful” suicide, I had sought oblivion and darkness. Because of my horrific experiences in life, I had come to believe that there was no God and therefore, no afterlife. And so, when I suddenly found myself watching the police and the paramedics work on my body from somewhere near the ceiling, I learned that I had been quite wrong.

My story, however, cannot be adequately told without first giving a little background and history of my early life. It is not intended to be a “pity me” story or to be depressing, even though that is exactly what it was for me for many, many years, but it is necessary to take a glimpse into that part of my life in order to better understand the dramatic change that came into my heart as a result of my experience. People who have known me for years have made the comment that an alien pod must have taken over my body to cause such a complete change in my life. To some this may seem surreal, but no dream or drug-induced experience could have changed my life so drastically.

Before my suicide I was a completely miserable, unhappy, and bitter person, full of anger and hate. I hated people, I hated life, and I especially hated my life. The fact that such terrible things happened merely proved to me that God did not exist, for if there were a God, he surely would not have allowed me to experience such pain, sorrow, and suffering. Life seemed to hold only unhappiness and misery and as such had lost all appeal for me.

I actually hoped there was no life after death. That way I would not have to remember anything about my life. These are the emotions that brought me to believe that the only alternative left for me was suicide. Though difficult to talk about even now after so many years, I must describe the horrible road I traveled in life that ultimately led me to that day of despair.

A LIVING HELL

My life growing up in Los Angeles is perhaps described best as a living hell, a nightmare that seemed to never end and that always became worse. My father, a pedophile and child molester with a vicious, violent temper, was most often the creator of that nightmare. Beatings were a regular part of life in our home. These were not spankings, but full-blown beatings, often with objects. One of my father’s favorite things to beat us with was what used to be called a flap-jack, a leather strap with steel balls in the “business” end. His temper would flare up at the slightest excuse.

Once, when I was about ten years old, I dropped some ice cream onto the couch. I hadn’t noticed it but my father yelled at me and started hitting me repeatedly. I didn’t even know why he was hitting me until the next day. Many of the blows landed on my head and eventually knocked me unconscious. Hours later I awoke to the sound of my mother standing over me crying. That was one of the times my father showed remorse after such an act of violence. He softly repeated over and over, “I’m sorry.” I had heard those words before, and they had lost all meaning for me. True remorse meant that it wouldn’t happen again, but of course I knew it would.

Another time, when I was about 11, I was whipped repeatedly with his thin belt, another favorite weapon, until streaks of blood soaked through my blouse. I remember it well because it was the only blouse I had and it took my mother several hours of scrubbing it and soaking it in bleach to get out the stains so that I could wear it again. It was not just me who was abused. We were in Sears one day getting our once-a-year dress when my older sisters and I became separated from our parents. When we were found, my sisters were whipped soundly with his belt out in the parking lot. I escaped punishment at the time because I had a broken arm.

The relationship between my father and mother was anything but usual. They were actually married and divorced three times. He had cheated on her long before I was born and they were separated many times during my life, including at the time of my birth.

My mother tried for years to get away from him. She would run away, a hundred times it seemed, and he would find out where we were and threaten to kill all of us if she didn’t return. Once in his rage my father took our car, with all of us in it, to the edge of a cliff and threatened to kill us. He had one foot on the brake and the other pressing on the gas pedal, revving up the engine, all the while cursing and screaming that he was going to drive the car over the edge and kill us all. We were screaming and crying and pleading with him not to do it, and for a long time we didn’t know if we were going to die.

Another incident occurred one day when I was sick and staying home from school. I was about eight. I awoke to the sounds of a struggle in our apartment. Walking into the front room I found my father trying to choke my mother to death. He would surely have finished his task if I had not come into the room. He was unaware of my presence in our home, and the shock of seeing me witnessing his attempt on my mother’s life stopped him and ultimately saved her. That was the first time I remember being awakened at night by people who took me away to stay in a foster home.

Another factor in my childhood was our constant moving and traveling. We never lived in one place for more than two or three months. I can remember at the age of 18 trying to count how many times we had moved. When I reached 60 I gave up counting. Much of the moving was my mother trying to get herself and us away, trying to escape, but my father would somehow always find us. Sometimes it seemed like a cruel game of hide-and-seek with none of the joy that the children’s game included. My fear and hatred for my father was fueled by every act of cruelty.

THERE IS NO GOD

As I’ve already said, the horrible experiences in my life only served to convince me that God did not exist, or if he did exist he did not care about us or hear us. The age of eight seemed to be an important period in my life. Another event took place at this time that set a pattern in my life, ever solidifying the belief that there was no God. My mother’s best friend was dying. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even as a small child I was impressed with her beauty every time I saw her. She had raven black hair and dancing eyes. I can remember thinking how happy she was in contrast to the miserable life I lived. In my child’s mind she looked like a grown up version of Snow White from the fairy tale.

One day when I came home from school, I found my mother crying. Even though I had seen my mother crying like this many times, still it disturbed me. I asked her what was wrong and she explained that her best friend Sheryl, my beautiful Snow White, might be dying. Mother and I went into her bedroom and knelt beside her bed where we prayed for her dear friend. Mother said that if our faith was strong enough Sheryl would be healed and made well. I had been taught about God and prayer so I prayed with all the faith I could muster; I wanted this one wonderful part of my life to continue. As a child does even in difficult circumstances, I resumed the business of play and went about my life. A few days later, mother was very distraught and I found out that Sheryl had passed away. I was shocked at the news of her death, so sure was I that our fervent prayer on behalf of this beautiful woman would keep her alive.

My mother, being deeply depressed over the loss of her best friend, did not take the time to explain to a young child that the Lord’s will, what he knows is best, was also a factor in prayers such as ours. And sometimes it is just a person’s time to go. In my mind I just could not understand why Sheryl had died, and I was very hurt that our prayer had not “worked” as my mother said it would.

We attended the funeral a few days later. There was a long procession to her coffin and I spent the time thinking that when I got up there I was going to ask God to restore her life. Everything is so simple in the mind of a child. So, as we approached the coffin, I asked my mother to lift me up so I could kiss Sheryl goodbye. As Mother lifted me, I said, “Please God, let my mother’s friend come back to life and live again.” But Sheryl did not move; she was still and silent. I wanted to say that I know he was God and could restore her life, but the line was long and we had to move on.

As the reality of the moment hit me and we watched the coffin lowered into the ground, I thought that maybe my mother was wrong; maybe there is no God. If there was an all powerful God who cared about us, like my mother said, wouldn’t he have brought this beautiful woman back to life? So between my father, the home life I had, and this first experience with death and my confusion regarding it, I came to the conclusion (in my little girl mind) that God did not, in fact could not, exist. Subsequent events seemed only to confirm this conclusion.

As the years rolled by, life did not get any better. My schooling was hit-and-miss because of our constant moving. I would attend four or five different schools in the course of one year. Growing up in South Los Angeles, I was usually picked on at school as the new poor “white trash” kid. I certainly looked the part. I had very few clothes and wore the same dirty dress and sneakers all the time. We lived in mostly run-down, cockroach-infested apartments with mattresses on the floor, dishes piled up in the sink, and trash all over the floor. I don’t think I learned about brushing my teeth and other hygiene matters until I was around 14 when I went to a foster home. I was also scrawny and underweight because there was little food to eat. In the sixth grade I weighed fifty pounds, though tall for my age. One day, while walking home from school, I passed out in a Presbyterian Church yard and an ambulance took me to the hospital. Somehow this event triggered my parents’ third and final marriage.

The feeling of being shuffled around, misplaced, and just worthless was always with me. I never really felt like I belonged to anything or anyone and was very unhappy. Between the ages of 10 and 18 I lived in seven different foster homes when not living with my family in one of a long string of shabby apartments. These were not government sponsored, subsidized, and inspected foster homes but homes arranged through friends or church. Only one of these homes provided any real happiness, giving me some of the happiest times of my life. When I think back to a place that I would call “home,” it would be that beautiful house on Ocean View Avenue in Mar Vista, California.

At the age of 18, I met a boy. He seemed to be part of a real family, unlike mine, and that appealed to me very much. I thought this might be my chance to have my own home, stability, and to belong to a large and wonderful group of people. I got pregnant and we married. Of course, as most often happens with bad choices like this, things didn’t work out. My physical coldness toward my young husband drove him to find love elsewhere. So my escape was short-lived, and after three short years and a second child, we divorced. Now I became a single mother of two children, with no education and no skills.

MY FATHER DIES

During this first marriage, just before the birth of my first child, word came that my father was dying of cancer. I don’t think I had ever been happier about anything in my life. Even though I was sure that God did not exist, I found myself thanking him that this man was dying. The torture was finally going to be over; our mother and the rest of us would be safe at last.

When he had gotten to the point where he was so ill that he could no longer care for himself or even move, I went to the hospital to visit him. What a sight! Imagine a man of six feet two inches weighing 70 pounds. Finally, I was the one in control of the situation. He couldn’t hurt me anymore so I was free to tell him just how I felt. I was vicious. I said every vile, nasty, mean and evil thing I could think of. I told him that I hated him and that I hoped he burned in hell for everything he had done to me and to my family. I was glad he was in pain. I let all of the hate pour out of me, and I told him that he was responsible for my horrible childhood and the reason I could not function as an adult. I blamed him for every mistake I had ever made.

To my utter astonishment, in the middle of my tirade he held out his arms and asked me to forgive him. What nerve did he have! I said, “I hate you and am so glad that you are dying. I am glad that you are in pain and I will never visit your grave. I would spit on your grave. I can’t wait for you to die.” I left the hospital room angry but with some satisfaction that finally I had been able to say all of the things I had felt for so long. About a week later he died. One of my sisters attended the funeral just to support our mother, but I and my other sisters didn’t go. I didn’t even shed a tear. I hated him so much I was just glad he was dead. That part of the nightmare was over. Now, I thought, maybe I could get on with my life.

After my divorce I did whatever I could to care for my children. I took jobs that were available to an uneducated, single mom. I cleaned houses, waited tables, and did ironing at ten cents per piece. I would iron 40 garments a day and earn just $4. I found myself moving my children from place to place because of circumstances and eventually had a better understanding of my mother’s “mistakes.” A few times I entered into relationships so I could better care for the children, but it always ended in disaster.

HEALTH PROBLEMS BEGIN

Everything was a struggle and more difficult than it needed to be for me as an uneducated single mom with two children, and this time was no exception as my health began to fail. I began having symptoms: headaches, constant thirst, and never-ending exhaustion. As a child I had always been frail. My health had been poor, aggravated I am sure by the brutal mistreatment from my father. No doubt the abuse and poor nutrition I received as a child contributed to the health problems I started to experience as an adult.

Now I was 21 years old and diagnosed with severe diabetes. I learned that I would have to take insulin shots every day to control it. What happens when a person terrified of needles and injections is told that to survive she has to have shots every day of her life? I said I would rather die! I could not even imagine giving myself a shot. Even for the blood tests required to get a marriage license I had to lie down so I wouldn’t faint when I saw the needle. Once more life had knocked me down with a piercing blow. Then things became even more complicated.

I MARRY “MY FATHER”

At age 22 I married again. This time it was to a young man who went to church and whose family was well-off financially. Maybe this time, I thought, life will get better. But only one week into the marriage I discovered that I had put myself into a situation very much like my growing-up home life. My new husband had a vicious temper, and he slapped me in the face constantly.

His anger was not only directed at me but at my two small boys as well. He would whip them with his belt or a wire clothes hanger. Sometimes he would punish them for some imagined misbehavior by not allowing them to empty their bladders. He would make them hold their urine for as long as they could, and when they could hold it no longer and finally wet their pants, he would beat them and drag them out into the yard where he would hose them down. It was the worst of all possible nightmares—I had married my father and now my children were being abused as I had been.

To make matters more complicated, I became pregnant and brought a third child into the world. Again, more than ever, my life was in constant turmoil and full of suffering and pain.

We were separated eleven times during our three-year marriage. Each time we were separated I was left with no money and all the children to care for. I moved where I could, sometimes out of state to stay with friends or family. Our marriage ended in a bitter divorce. I wanted out so badly that I didn’t contest anything and left with just my clothes and my children. I was about a millimeter away from a nervous breakdown worrying about my ex-husband who was livid about losing custody of the son we had together. Years later, before his death, my second husband confessed that his violent mistreatment of me and my sons was motivated by insane jealousy. The thought of the love I had once felt for another man that had resulted in the birth of these two beautiful blond boys seemed to be more than he could handle. They represented a constant reminder to him of that previous relationship.

I went back to menial jobs such as those I had prior to my second marriage. Soon I discovered, however, that because of my hard work and the fact that others found me attractive (a reaction that I had difficulty believing), I was able to find work serving at parties for wealthy people. The money was better than what I had been able to make doing anything else no matter how hard I worked, and I have to admit there was a certain excitement involved in attending the parties, even if it was in the capacity of a servant.

I was living in Beverly Hills on Doheny Drive in a single apartment that barely held my three boys and me. Our “bedroom” where we all slept was a Murphy bed that folded up into the wall. I was depressed and angry and having trouble just taking care of my children and living from day to day. I didn’t trust anyone and I mocked and ridiculed everything in a desperate attempt to make some sense of a life out of my control. I hated my life.

The job serving at parties had evolved into a household cook position for a prominent family in Beverly Hills. I had worked hard during the last few years earning a reputation for gourmet cooking and reliable cleaning that eventually landed me jobs working for several well-known celebrities. During the day I would work in mansions, ride in limousines, and be surrounded by glamourous people. At night I served at parties in their homes while a wonderful girl named Anita, who managed the building where we lived, watched my children. My plan was to somehow save my money and get out of Los Angeles. Too much had happened there for me to stay any longer. There were too many terrible, dark memories. Then the black cloud that seemed ever present in my life grew darker yet.

THE “PROPOSITION”

The owner of the apartment building I lived in was a well-to-do foreigner. He knew that I was having problems and didn’t have much money. One day, after serving for a party at his home, he approached me with a proposition: free rent, a decorated apartment, and certain other privileges if I would just be “friendly” to his brother who had seen me at the party. Well, I knew that being friendly meant sleeping with him, and even though I was a dysfunctional, wretched person, I did not do things like that. When I turned down my landlord’s “generous” offer, he began threatening my life. I couldn’t believe things could turn on me so quickly and completely, but it seemed the story of my life. Just when I began to look up, I was slapped down—hard.

My landlord continued to pressure me and threaten to have me killed if I didn’t give in; I became depressed and desperate. As my problems came to a head, in a moment of complete despair, I sat on the front porch of my apartment and cried and cried, trying to think of how I was going to get out of this mess.

I must have presented quite a picture, with my head buried in my arms, sobbing, because while I was sitting there crying, as if in the script of a movie, a big limousine pulled up. A man got out and asked, “Are you okay?” I lied and said yes, but then broke down and told him the whole tragic story. He told me he was a Hollywood producer and had a very large estate in Belair. He and his lady friend had a baby, and he would pay me $2,500 a month to live in their home, cook for them, and care for the infant.

Maybe there is a God, I thought. One month’s salary would be all I needed to get out of Los Angeles and find some peace and a safer place for my sons. One catch was that I could not bring my children with me to the new job. Even though sending the boys away would be a tremendous sacrifice, I felt that it would only be temporary, just until I had earned enough money to relocate and start over.

By this time the boys’ dad, my first husband, had remarried, and he and his new wife welcomed the chance to have the two older boys stay with them. My youngest son, then seven years old, went to live with a kind clergyman in West Los Angeles. With all of the boys placed safely in good homes, I was free to take the job that I hoped would lead to a new start in life for all of us. All I wanted to do was get away, get out of Los Angeles and California.

As could easily be imagined from the way things had been going in my life, it soon became apparent that all was not as it seemed to be in the new job. Yes, this man was indeed a producer, but after I moved in I found out that he was also one of the largest cocaine dealers in Hollywood. I learned that at one time he had been a talented movie producer but had decided that the easy way to make more money was by dealing drugs. Movie stars and other Hollywood “people” came to the house at all hours of the day and night. Most often they would disappear into the producer’s bedroom with him and emerge a short time later and leave.

My suspicions were confirmed at a huge party he threw as Hollywood celebrities partook of the white powder he had placed in dishes around the room. It was cocaine, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care, that is, until one night not long after the party. I was alone in the house with the baby and talking with my foster sister, Joanne, on the phone about what I was going to do. I hadn’t yet been paid (he was always coming up with excuses), and my life was not improving.

All of a sudden I heard someone pick up the receiver on another phone in the house and I asked, “Who is this, who’s on this phone?” The voice on the other end said, “Hang up or we’ll cut your throat.” I was terrified and ran out of the house, making my way to a few of the neighbor’s homes, banging on their doors and yelling hysterically that someone was going to kill me and we had to save the baby who was still in the house!

Either no one was home, or they were all convinced that a crazy woman was loose in the neighborhood, or no one cared. Either way no doors were opened to me that night. Finally a van came down the street. I flagged it down and quickly explained the situation. They had a cell phone and called the police. The officers arrived in minutes and caught the men who had entered the house—druggies looking for cocaine. The police also arrested the producer when he arrived home because of the cocaine they discovered in the house. I hadn’t been there six weeks and now this disaster. I hadn’t even gotten paid. It seemed the story of my life.

Of course I had to leave—with no money and nowhere to go. I thought that this was it. This was the last straw. Nothing I do ever works out. When all seemed hopeless, Mark (not his real name), a movie editor with whom I had become acquainted, offered to let me stay at his place. He was a friend and “customer” of my former employer, though he said he no longer used the “stuff.” He had been kind and somehow I felt I could trust him when he offered me a safe place to live. Besides, I had nowhere else to go.

While living in Mark’s apartment I tried to help out by keeping the place clean. Our relationship was purely one of friends. He had bailed me out of a tough spot, so I thought a little housekeeping was the least I could do. A few days later, while cleaning up, I discovered a stash of cocaine. I was shocked and angry because I had believed him when he said he had stopped the drug scene. My anger propelled me on as I flushed the entire bag down the toilet When he came home later that day I confronted him with my discovery and told him what I had done with it. Upon finding that thousands of dollars worth of cocaine had been flushed down a toilet, he was furious. We argued and he left. When he didn’t come home after four days, I finally called the studio where he worked. The person answering the phone told me that Mark had locked himself in the editing room and no one had seen him for the entire time. I was worried, concerned, and upset and stormed down to the studio. I banged on the door and threatened to call the police if he didn’t open up. When he did, I was saddened to see huge dark circles under his eyes. He was shaking and obviously on a cocaine binge. All he said was, “Leave me alone,” and closed the door.

It didn’t matter what I did, my life was a total failure. I became so depressed I wasn’t even in control of what I was doing. I was walking around in a daze. One thing I do remember is cleaning the house with tears rolling down my cheeks. There was a 45-rpm record on the record player that I had set to play over and over again. It kept repeating the words, “Do it or die.” Now I felt sure that my life would never get any better.

THE SUICIDE

On that fateful day, I decided I couldn’t go on any longer. I hated people, I hated life, and I especially hated my life. I couldn’t get rid of the thought that my children deserved better than what I could give them. I couldn’t even take care of just myself. I was useless and it would be best for everyone if I just went away.

I had sprained my ankle a few months earlier, and the doctor had given me a prescription of pain pills. I was very much into health foods and so had placed the medication on the shelf unopened. That day I took the entire bottle of Tylenol with codeine and may have taken a few other things also. I don’t remember.

Apparently, as I was losing consciousness, I called a sister who had moved to Utah. Later she told me that I asked her to tell our mother that I loved her and that I forgave her. Subconsciously I must have felt that she should have done more to protect us from our father, although now I know that she did everything she could. With that said, I collapsed. Because of my slurred speech, the things I said, and then me not answering anymore, my sister knew something was very wrong and called the Los Angeles police department. By the time they reached the apartment building, I was out of my body and looking down on everything from somewhere near the ceiling.

I could see the police as they knocked on the door to the apartment building and then, when no one answered, broke it open. They came to the door of the apartment where I was and knocked and yelled. When no one answered, one of them kicked the door open. I watched as the police and two paramedics came rushing into the room where my body was lying on the floor. They started taking vitals on the body, and one of them said, “No heartbeat, no pulse—she’s dead.” While this was happening I was watching it all from near the ceiling. I could see my body lying on the floor; it was very pale and the lips were blue. It was strange but I didn’t think of the body on the floor as me, or even a part of me. To me the body on the floor was an “it.”

I listened to their conversations and watched them quickly walk from room to room. At that point they had not yet determined what had happened. One policeman went into one of the bedrooms and was going through things there. Another policeman walked into the bathroom and started going through the medicine cabinet. Under the sink he found my medical bag and my insulin. He yelled out, “I think she might be a diabetic,” and continued looking through everything under the sink. While he was doing this in the bathroom, one of the paramedics took the phone out of my hand and hung it up. It rang almost immediately. The paramedic picked it up and asked, “Do you have any information on this girl that is here? We found a dead body.”

When he said this, I thought that it was a very strange thing for him to say. I was not dead. I could hear and see everything perfectly. I could also hear through the wire and heard the man who had called the apartment say he didn’t know anything. In fact, as I think back on that night I find it strange and wonderful that while all of this was happening, I was able to see everything all at the same time, regardless of where it took place. Walls of brick or wood did not seem to hinder my vision at all. At that time it all seemed very natural and didn’t even draw my attention. I was mesmerized by all of the activity that somehow, in some removed, distant way, had to do with me.

While one paramedic was talking on the phone, the other was still working on my body. When the one hung up the phone, the other said, “She hasn’t been dead for long; her body is still warm. Let’s try to revive her. Get the paddles out.” When they said this and started to try to revive my body, I became upset and tried talking to them. I said, “Leave it alone.” I did not want to go back into that clump of clay. I think I said it twice, and then when they ignored me I lost interest. Instantly I was no longer floating in the air above my body but standing at the edge of a beautiful, silver lake.

There Is No Death

Chapter 2 - The World of Spirits

“Beautiful Beyond Description”

THE SILVER LAKE

The move from my previous location had been instantaneous. In less than a blink of an eye I found myself in an entirely different world from the one I had inhabited since birth—a world unlike anything I had ever seen or imagined. In the distance and all around me were magnificent hills covered with trees, grass, and flowers of every hue imaginable. I stood next to a large and beautiful silver lake that was on my right side. I felt no fear, which was very different for me.

To help you better understand the importance of that statement, I must explain that everyone who knows me knows that I have an intense, almost irrational fear of water. I cannot swim a stroke and am horrified of water and the possibility of drowning. Once when I was little, on the only family vacation we ever took, my father decided that he would cure me of my fear of water and teach me to swim all at the same time; so he pushed me off of a pier into a lake. I swallowed water, panicked, and felt as if I were going to drown. My father only succeeded in intensifying my fear. I have been unable to even walk around the deep end of a swimming pool for fear of accidentally slipping into the water, and have only in the last few years been able to get into a hot tub without being overcome with anxiety. So when I say that I was standing beside a lake without any fear whatsoever, it is extremely significant.

The intense fear of water that had always been a part of me was inexplicably gone. My fear was replaced with a fascination for the body of water that stood before me. It was beautiful. The water glistened like diamonds and had the appearance of liquid silver, but as I leaned over the edge to look into the lake, I found that I could see through the crystal clear water for miles and miles to the bottom of the lake. I don’t know how deep it was, but it was very, very deep. There were tremendous numbers and varieties of fish swimming through the underwater foliage that was everywhere waving in the currents. The fish and the foliage were of the most vivid colors—very bright and so many different hues.

The only way to describe the colors I saw there would be to explain that the color spectrum as we know it in this world is as if it were muted and dulled, as if seen through some sort of glass that makes colors subdued and somehow less alive. To describe our vision in this life as vastly limited would be an understatement. Here we are able to see only a tiny fraction of what I saw there. Not only are the colors like nothing we can imagine, but the words do not exist in our vocabulary to adequately describe the beauty of that world.

As I stood there at the edge of this magnificently beautiful lake, I was enticed by the water and wanted to fall into it and let the water engulf me. Instinctively I knew that the water was somehow alive and that it would not harm me. I wasn’t aware of how this knowledge came to me, just that it did. The feeling lasted only for a moment, and then my attention turned to the rest of my surroundings.

BEAUTIFUL SURROUNDINGS

Everywhere there were wonderful flowers and vegetation unknown to this world. The flowers were so different in color and so vibrant that I can see them clearly in my mind today but again cannot begin to describe them. I have no names for the flowers I saw and to try and describe the coloration would be like explaining the color red or blue to a person blind from birth. The grass was like soft, deep, lush velvet of a bright, vivid green color. The trees were of various shades and colors with most being a brilliant, beautiful green. Never in my life have I seen anything in nature to match the beauty of what I saw in that world.

Next my attention switched from what I could see around me to how well I could see. My eyesight was enhanced and so sharp that I could literally see for miles. When I stood looking at something in the distance, concentrating on an object for example, it would appear to grow closer and closer, somewhat like the function of a telephoto lens. It would come closer until in a moment I could see what I was focusing on as if I were standing right next to it. There was nothing I could not look at or see. Distance was not a deterrent, and the area was expansive. I was fascinated by this new ability and just stood there for a time looking around.

Then I made another discovery. As I was standing beside the lake, I turned my head slowly to take in the view. Off to my left in the distance I saw a beautiful hill blanketed with flowers and trees and thought I would like to go in that direction. No sooner did I think the thought than I began moving in the direction I was looking. It was almost as though the movement acknowledged the beginning of my thought. It was wonderful. I was there in a second. It was all so smooth and it happened so quickly that before I realized it I stood at the top of the hill I had been looking at. The hill was even more beautiful up close than it had been from a distance. Several large groups of lovely, bright green trees swayed softly in the warm breeze.

The sky was a wonderful, deep, rich blue, and there were these objects floating in the sky that at first appeared to be clouds. But as I looked closer, I could see that they were actually formations of swirling light with a cloudlike appearance. It was unusual and beautiful and yet felt normal all at the same time.

As I looked around at everything, drinking it all in, a tremendous feeling of peace came over me. Here I was, separated from everything that I had known, and there were no thoughts for the things I left behind. My material possessions, my dear children, or anyone else that might have loved me were not on my mind. All I could think of was how very wonderful it was to be in this place.

My newly acquired senses soon made me aware that the grove of trees I stood in and the plants and grass around me were alive and communicating to me that they not only knew who I was but were happy that I was there with them. While not thinking like we do, they nonetheless seemed to have feelings and a form of intelligence that, though different from our own, was still very real. I stood there for a while feeling the love for me that radiated from these forms of life that I now viewed from a completely different perspective. It was then that I started to ask, or rather think of, questions about this new world that I had come into. The questions started with Where am I? and quickly went on from there.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

As this question and answer period started, I noticed something very different about my mind. It was not the same as it had been on earth. Our mortal thoughts are pretty well limited to one thought at a time, but while I stood in this world of spirits, I could and did ask what seemed like hundreds of questions at the same time. Not only that, but the answers came back to me instantly, and I comprehended all of it. I continued to ask more and more questions and was amazed at the capabilities of my spirit-mind. So I stood there for several moments just asking questions and receiving the answers. Later as I looked around making observations regarding my surroundings, answers to more thoughts and questions flooded my mind instantaneously.

During this time of questions and answers, I learned that time seemed not to exist there as we think of it on earth. Again I must say that this is all very difficult to explain (with our limited vocabulary) to those who have not experienced it. Suffice it to say that in this place I learned to call a spirit world, there are no seconds, minutes, hours, or days. There are no nights either and the limitations of time as we know it just do not exist. Time itself seemed to be able to change by going slower or much faster. The restrictions that exist here with regard to time, vision, hearing, and smelling simply do not exist there. In fact, there is complete freedom of thought, vision, and all the senses as far as I could tell, with time included. While there is a basic similarity that exists between the world of earth and the world of spirits (making the spirit world seem familiar at first glance), closer inspection revealed differences that are difficult to imagine.

Since I mentioned the freedom of smell, I will elaborate. There is a fragrance that exists there in the world of spirits. It is incredible and unlike anything earthly that I have come across. This fragrance is not like any perfume or the scent of any earthly flowers. If I concentrate very hard, I can still remember the smell clearly. It is actually more than a smell; it is like smelling and tasting and feeling all at the same time. It smells happy and peaceful, restful, and calming. This fragrance made me feel alive and wonderful, just as everything else did in that spirit world. Every sense is accentuated and contributes to the feeling of peace and happiness that permeates the entire spirit world.

THE DREAM COTTAGE

As I stood on the hill asking questions and receiving answers, after what seemed like a few moments I paused to look at something that caught my eye off in the distance. It was a beautiful cottage in a valley far, far away. It was so very beautiful and perfect. Situated in a valley area surrounded with trees and flowers and little streams running all around it, it fit best the description of a fairytale cottage. It had a round-topped door with what looked like a cobblestone path leading up to it and what appeared to be a soft thatched roof. On taking a closer look I realized that it was not very small.

Gazing upon this scene the thought came to me that I would love to live in such a house as this little cottage, and immediately the answer came: You can; you can live in whatever type of building or house that would make you happy. At the same time I understood that I could live by myself in a cottage similar to this one or in the city with friends or family. The decision of my living circumstances was primarily up to me—but within the limits of whatever I deserved.

ANIMALS IN THE SPIRIT WORLD

As I looked at the cottage and admired how pretty and perfect it was, I noticed a dog walking along a path. The dog appeared to be an Irish setter with long dark hair. I was somewhat surprised and thought to myself: There are pets here? The response that filled my head was that there are animals here of all kinds, some of which have been pets to people on earth. I was made to understand that if a person had animals they loved and cared for in life, and if the animals also loved them and wanted to be with them, they could then be together in this place.

As I looked at the dog, it seemed to sense my presence and looked back at me. I could hear and feel its thoughts of love and recognition. This surprised me a little; then immediately I understood that the spirits of animals and people could communicate and understand each other the same way I had communicated with the plants earlier, that is, telepathically. The difference being that the animals communicated on a higher level than the trees and grass but still well below the level of my thoughts.

I was also given to understand that on earth the animals could understand people but that our ability to understand them had been taken away. The thoughts of animals are simple, like the thoughts of a child, and they have personalities and desires as well. One of the reasons that animals exist on earth is to help us learn to love. There are some people who have not developed the ability to love other people but are capable of loving animals. I also understood that the lives of animals are precious, and those who take the lives of animals without cause or are cruel to them will have consequences to pay.

THE CITY OF LIGHT

My attention turned to the view miles away. I saw what appeared to be numerous cities filled with beautiful buildings and many people. The cities seemed to glow in the distance like light was coming from them. Then I realized that they were not many separate cities but rather one enormous city that was spread out to my view. Looking upon the part of the city closest to me but still far away, I was again able to use my unlimited vision and see it as though I were standing nearby.

As I remained on the top of the hill surveying the city before me, I became aware that I was not clothed. I was completely naked, and yet my state of undress did not concern me in the least. I had no thoughts of being seen by others, even though I knew there were people in the city. When I thought about clothing I was told that I had not passed through the barrier, or “film,” that separates this spirit world and the mortal world. If I had, someone would have greeted me and brought me clothing to wear. I understood that the “film” is like a transparent, thin wall of some fine matter that is used to separate things in the spirit world from the mortal world and that passing through it prevents one from going back to earth life.

I also understood that whenever anyone passes away from this earth life, no matter what their status or behavior on earth, they are greeted by a loved one almost instantly and given a robe to wear. The robe given identifies the wearer as a new arrival and is called a new-spirit-entrant robe. These robes differ from the robes worn by other spirits that have been in the spirit world for a longer time. In that way, when someone newly arrived is greeted, they are recognized and received with a warm welcome. The robes worn by others also identified the wearers as having some authority or gave an indication of the work they did. I understood that there was great order in everything that was done there and that the assignments or responsibilities of an individual were those a person chose or agreed to. Some were asked to perform certain tasks, but the choice was always theirs. Everything was voluntary, and there was never any force.

Standing upon the hill and looking down into the city, I noticed that there were streets and paths all lined with flowers and trees. Beautiful fountains were present that sprayed the silvery water I had seen earlier at the lake. As the water sprayed into the air it appeared as a million glistening, sparkling diamonds too beautiful to describe with words.

The city itself seemed very similar to our world, with some exceptions. One obvious exception was that there were no cars. Everyone walked or occasionally “glided” to their destinations. Another major difference, especially from the big city I lived in, was that everything was immaculate. There was no dirt or trash in the streets (as we see in many of our cities). There were no curbs or gutters, and the streets and many of the smaller walkways seemed to be made out of some kind of flat paving stone. There were beautiful flowers everywhere lining the rock-ways and fountains and streams. The scenery was enhanced with beautiful, perfectly trimmed shrubbery and hedges, making it all very lovely and very pleasing to look at. I was excited and anxious to go down into the city and to be a part of the happiness and love that I felt existed there, but I was not to be given that opportunity.

THE BUILDINGS

The buildings that were in the distance I now viewed from close up, and they were magnificent. They were not tall buildings; the tallest stood maybe three or four stories high. They were of various designs and architectural styles. One of the most common designs reminded me a little of Hearst Castle in California. I once watched a television special tour of it with its marble floors, columns, pools, and fountains; and some of the buildings I saw in the spirit world had a slight resemblance to that structure. I feel it is important to note that there were no statues or paintings or artwork of any kind other than beautifully carved furniture in the buildings, unlike the Hearst Castle with its elaborate furnishings. And yet, even the beauty of Hearst Castle pales in comparison to any of the buildings I saw in the city. The buildings and the crystal pools of water within the city were beyond anything that can be seen on this planet.

The buildings had the appearance of a pinkish-white alabaster or marble so thin that it appeared almost transparent. As I concentrated on one of the beautiful buildings, I could see right through its walls. Inside I could see columns and steps; I could also see many rooms and corridors. The corridors were full of people and very wide. Fifty people could easily have stood shoulder to shoulder across their width. The rooms were even larger and filled with hundreds of people.

Even though I had come to disbelieve in a life after death and all that was involved with that belief, I nevertheless assumed that if there were a heaven it would be beautiful beyond imagination. That was surely an apt description of the world I happened upon, and yet one of the concepts I learned while asking questions on the hill previously was that this place, beautiful beyond words, was not heaven. This was only a waiting place for the spirits of people who have departed the earth and who are waiting for a later time when they will be assigned to other places or kingdoms. I came to understand that these other places were kingdoms of glory, while this spirit world was not, and therefore the other places were infinitely more beautiful than this place.

I learned that this spirit world had different parts or sections and that the future homes of these departed spirits were also in levels, so that the kingdoms of glory were in gradations of beauty and glory, each higher one being more beautiful and glorious than the one before it—up to the kingdom where God the Father and Jesus Christ actually dwell. I also learned that they refer to God the Father as our Heavenly Father and I learned that we are his children. I learned that He and Jesus Christ are two separate, glorified beings.

Having seen the beauty of the waiting place for spirits, I cannot even imagine how beautiful the home of Jesus must be. I would gladly have stayed in the world I witnessed forever, so wonderful and glorious it was to me.

THE PEOPLE AND ACTIVITIES IN THE CITY

Looking down into the city, I could feel the love that flowed between the people as they exchanged greetings with each other and conversed. The spaces between the buildings were spacious and each resembled a park. I saw people gathered together in small groups of family and friends and understood that most activities they took part in were done within these same groups. Watching and learning these things, I was excited and anxious to go down into the city and be a part of the happiness and love that I felt existed there, but I was not to be given that opportunity.

There were many people in the city, and now I noticed the detail of their apparel. As a child and then on rare occasions as an adult, when I took time to think about it, I assumed that people in heaven would wear white. At least that was the way heaven was depicted in all of the paintings I had seen. However, I observed while some apparently do choose white, many of the people I saw wore beautiful pastel robes. Both men and women wore the same clothing: robes made of a shimmering fabric akin to silk but much softer. The fabric almost glowed and seemed alive with extraordinary colors. The robes were long, down to the ankle, and slit a little up the side almost to the knee. The people wore cummerbunds around their waists and long shawls of differing soft pastel colors over their shoulders.

Something else I noticed were a few men wearing dark suits. There were not very many, and while visually it stood out dramatically, at the time it seemed quite natural and not out of place at all. I wasn’t even curious enough about it to ask a question, so I have no idea of the significance of the dark suits.

After noticing the clothing, I saw that the people themselves gave off a light and seemed to actually glow. The brightness varied from person to person, and a few were of a different, more golden hue. When I noticed the light and the difference in illumination between people, a question formed in my mind. Immediately it came to me that this light was in direct proportion to how each individual had lived their life on earth. This answer seemed to satisfy my curiosity for the time being.

THE “KITCHEN”

In one of the very large rooms in the building I was looking at, or looking through, I saw a large group of women involved in some very specific tasks. They were quietly laughing and talking and smiling and full of love as they worked, without being loud or boisterous. Most of their communication was done telepathically or almost in whispers. This group seized my interest because of the pleasure they appeared to have found in what they were doing. They were having a wonderful time.

On closer inspection I realized that they were preparing food, and the room they were in was a very large kitchen. Some of the women were slicing what appeared to be a fruit, somewhat like a pale yellow pear, and arranging the slices on platters that had the look of silver crystal. Others were preparing and arranging what looked like little wafers of a cakelike bread. The wafers, or minicakes, were the size and shape of a flattened egg: about one-fourth of an inch in thickness and with a spongy texture. I watched as one of the women would occasionally taste a wafer as she made the arrangement. As she did so I could also taste it. The wafer literally melted in the mouth, and the taste was exquisite. More than just a taste of flavor, eating the wafer made me feel good and happy all at the same time. The taste was intense as was everything else. As I watched this activity, I was impressed that people ate more for pleasure than for sustenance.

THE “LIBRARY”

Looking along another large corridor, I saw people going in and out of another beautiful, very large room. As I looked it appeared to be a library since it had row after row of huge, beautiful books along almost all of the walls. I would guess the books were about five or six inches thick and perhaps twelve to fourteen inches high. They were beautifully bound with something that I do not think was leather, though the colors were tan and dark brown and the covers to the books were carved. People stood studying and reading at ornate, intricately carved desks or tables while others walked about normally. It was here that I noticed there were no chairs anywhere, though I had seen people sitting on the lawn while caught up in conversation. As I thought about this I was impressed with the understanding that chairs were not needed here except for some kinds of work, since people never grew tired and had no need to sit and rest.

I need to mention that as I was looking down this corridor and into the rooms, I heard music playing. I am reluctant to describe the instruments as harps that made the music; however, that is exactly what they sounded like. The music was indeed beautiful and offered a lovely background to the many activities in which people took part.

A PERSON REPENTING

After this, I glanced quickly through another building, generally seeing the same kind of activities, and then in one room I saw something that caught my attention. The room was not very large, especially compared to the others I had seen, and there appeared to be only one person in the room. In it there was a large screen that seemed to take up one of the walls. It was not like a big TV screen or even a computer screen—not really a screen at all. I can only try to describe it as being like a transparent screen made out of a gel or water that stayed stationary. It was large and oblong with rounded corners. As I concentrated on the screen I could see that there was a man in it, or rather the image of a man. As I concentrated on the image of the man in the screen for a moment, I was given to understand that the person I saw was still alive and living on the earth and that this screen was a view of his spirit-self. The only person I saw in the room was a man working at a module or console in front of the screen. He was sitting in a chairlike seat that seemed to be a molded part of the console.

While I was watching this scene the man seated in front of the screen removed a long, colored, shaped object from one part of the module. It was about four or five inches long and about an inch in diameter. It was flat on one end, pointed on the other, glowed slightly, and was very beautiful. He then placed the object into an opening on the console. He repeated this process a few more times with other objects of different colors but all the same shape.

As I saw this going on, I asked in my mind what was happening. What was this man at the console doing? The answer presented to me was that this man’s life, the one whose image I saw, was being revised. This man was repenting, and what he had done was literally being wiped off this screen that in someway represented his “spiritual DNA.” I immediately understood that this is what is referred to in the scriptures as the Book of Life. Everything that a person says, does, or thinks from the time they are born to the day they die is recorded in their own soul, not written down by some heavenly being as we may think.

I now grasped the concept that because of these recordings on our spiritual DNA, when we pass from this life we will be able to look at another’s spirit there in the spirit world and completely read, at least for the most part, their life. The light or glowing I had noticed coming from the people earlier was a part of this recording, and I saw that if I concentrated a little harder I could read the entire life history of each person I focused on.

I understood that the more righteous or Godlike a person had been on earth—the more he or she had tried to help others or make others happy—or in other words the more “good” a person had done, the brighter his or her light in the spirit world. The only parts of a person’s life that would not be seen or read would be those that they had repented of, the way the man on the screen was doing. A person having repented may still remember the deleted segments of their life, but those segments would be kept from others. I also became aware that there was no casual interest in “looking into” people’s lives.

Another concept I learned from this particular part of my experience was that it is far easier to repent or change our lives while in the mortal world than it is after passing into the spirit world. When we make the transition we call death, which is referred to there as the new birth, we take with us our attitudes, passions, desires, habits, qualities, and character. We really don’t change at all. Everything that makes us who we are comes with us as a part of our essence or spiritual DNA. Our thoughts, desires, habits, passions, and attitudes make up our “spiritual essence” along with all of our words and actions; all of our experiences from the very beginning make us who we really are.

However, once we are in the spirit world, all of our emotions and attitudes become greatly intensified thereby increasing the difficulty involved in changing them. I was also informed that if this man on the screen again committed these same sins he was repenting of, the parts that had been removed would be replaced, and all that had been erased would once again be present in his “recording.”

As these thoughts and explanations came into my mind I became frightened. There were parts of my life I definitely did not want others to see, and now, in dismay, I realized I could not hide anything from anyone.

MY LIFE’S REVIEW

At that moment I started thinking about all of the things that I had done in my life. As the thoughts of my life formed in my head, a window seemed to open before me, and my life’s review began. The window appeared to be several inches wide and opened like a scroll in front of me. It was as if someone had videotape that ran at fast-forward, showing my entire life from my birth until the moment I arrived in the spirit world. It only took seconds, and yet I was doing more than just watching the events of my life pass by. With each event I not only saw my actions, but I heard the thoughts I was thinking and felt what I was feeling at the time. I was reliving each experience, only this time I could see all that was happening around me as well. I could see and feel what those I interacted with were seeing and feeling. I could actually feel their pain or joy and understand what they were thinking. For me, this was not a pleasant experience.

There were some good things I had done in life but very, very few. I began to feel sick and full of pain because of the things I had done and the pains of the heart I had inflicted upon others. Despair set in because I felt sure I would never be able to undo any of my misdeeds. As I viewed my life, there was no doubt in me about what was good or bad; I could no longer lie to myself or anyone else about my feelings or motives. The worst parts of the review were when I had intentionally hurt someone else. Somehow the emotions of the moment combined, and I felt not only my anger but also the pain felt by others. I was in misery.

Quickly I came to understand two very important concepts. First, I learned that I alone am responsible for my actions. When I had my life review, I could not blame others for what I had done. Each of us decides his or her actions, even if you had been horribly abused, as I was, there would be no excuse for treating others the same way.

The second thing I learned is that our thoughts, words, and actions are extremely powerful and have an effect upon more people than we know. Like the far-reaching ripples in a pond after a rock is thrown in, the effects of our actions touch people that we are not even aware of. But unlike the ripples in a pond, the ripples or effects of our life’s actions also come back to us, for good or bad. If we have had good thoughts and actions that helped and lifted others, we will feel the benefit as they ripple back to us. Unfortunately the opposite is also true; acts of unkindness and cruelty will have their negative impact upon us as well.

As I watched the actions of my life in review, I became ashamed of many of the things I had done and began to feel the pain, personally, that I had inflicted upon others during the course of my life. To help you understand to some degree what I was feeling, I will relate one small incident. Believe me there were many things worse than this one episode, but hopefully it will show the pain caused by one seemingly insignificant event and also help in understanding what I felt at that time.

I had terribly mistreated a girl I knew while living in one of my foster homes. I had long forgotten her and how I had treated her, but now in my life’s review it was all there. I remembered every action and every cruelty. Let me explain.

The greatest happiness I ever experienced was while living in one specific foster home. I was 14 years old at the time. The family was quite well-to-do, had a large home, and were very kind. They had a daughter my age named Joanne who was beautiful, kind, and talented. When I arrived at their home I owned two old cotton dresses in very poor condition and a pair of tennis shoes. Joanne and her sisters had closets full of nice clothes that appeared absolutely beautiful to me. Upon my arrival Joanne threw open her closet doors and said, “What is mine is now yours. Wear anything you want.” This seemed incredible to me and so different from my past experiences, but I was grateful and began sharing this beautiful wardrobe. My new foster sister was very popular at school and church and was always surrounded by lots of friends. Since I was now part of her family (and I still call her my sister), I was included in the popular groups.

There was another girl attending both our school and church that the world would deem unattractive. She was overweight, had dark bushy eyebrows, a dark complexion, and some visible facial hair. (You need to understand that I look at people very differently now than I did before I learned this valuable lesson: Our appearances here on earth are only temporary; everyone’s spirit is beautiful. I no longer see anyone as unattractive.)

Everyone in our popular crowd made fun of this girl, and she was the object of many rude comments and jokes. My sister and I never said anything to her face as many others did (and I thank God that I was never that cruel), but we were unkind behind her back. We purposely excluded her from almost all of the activities that we were involved in, including what social gatherings that took place in my foster home. In short, we were not very nice to her, and my hypocrisy and lack of kindness came through very loud and clear during my life’s review. Here I was a skinny, little poor white-trash girl that, through the mercy of one kind, religious family, had been taken in, dressed up, and accepted into the “in” group; we (my sister and I) had shut out another.

I had never before realized how much I hurt this girl by my actions, but during my life’s review, I could feel the pain and heartache she felt as my actions affected her. There was especially one time when we snubbed her badly. Suddenly the pain of this one unkind act was so great for me to bear that I began to understand to a very small degree the agony of pain experienced by Jesus as he felt the sins of the world. It felt as if my spirit body would disintegrate, so great was the pain I felt over this one memory. To this day I have been unable to find the girl. I have some hope that if she reads this and recognizes her place in my life, she will contact me. The memory of the pain I felt from her still haunts me, and I hope that someday I can ask her forgiveness in person.

Since my return to mortality I have attempted to right as many of the wrongs as I possibly could. I have found people that I had harmed in many ways—those I had gossiped or lied about— and humbly asked their forgiveness. A couple of years ago I visited a foster mother who had been very mean to me, and I was able to turn that experience around for good. Hopefully these steps will erase some of those events from my future life’s review.

I still cannot forget what I felt as I watched my life’s review, but I realize that what I felt that day was only a small glimpse of what I would have felt had I passed through the “film” to really go fully into the spirit world. I saw incidents and events in that review that I had totally forgotten, including those so small that they seemed insignificant; and yet there they were, every detail, good or bad—every part of my life experience on earth.

There are still things in my life left undone, so to speak, which cause me great pain. There are some things I cannot make right with others, and so I have asked the Lord in prayer to please help me and forgive me for those things I cannot undo. The greatest challenge I face is to forgive myself as I remember vividly the details of my life prior to my death experience.

CHRIST ENTERS THE CITY

During and after my life’s review, which lasted only seconds, I felt terrible and was left very shaken. It was only then that I noticed something going on in the distant city that caught my attention. An extremely bright light seemed to enter and was moving down one of the streets. This moving light was so brilliant that it outshone the light of the city and was a white light unlike our sun or any other light source I am familiar with. It was so much brighter than anything or anyone else around it. It was then I realized that the source of this moving light was a man at its center, walking. The light came from him, from his body and clothing; his clothes seemed to be made of light. And immediately around his person there was a golden glow with beams of golden sparkling light pouring from his body and reaching out a considerable distance. As I looked closer at the sparkling light in the golden beams, it appeared like fragmented gold dust that was actually a part of the beams.

The man was very beautiful, and in an instant I knew that this was Jesus Christ making a visit to the city. He didn’t appear at all like the pictures we often see of him. He had no beard and his hair was a reddish blond. But, like most things in the spirit world, it wasn’t his appearance that was so overpowering, it was the feelings and information and everything that was transmitted to you as you looked at him. It was glorious beyond description, and I was very far away. As Jesus walked down the streets, people gathered around him in a huge crowd of hundreds and hundreds, yet there was no pushing or shoving as they reverently and courteously came as close to the Savior as they could. Those in positions closest to him touched his clothes or his person, and some embraced him.

While watching the people, I knew that they were feeling his great love for them, which was overpowering; I could feel it also. Those who could not get close enough to touch Jesus could feel his love through the golden beams of light emanating from him. I thought to myself that these beams of light must spread throughout the universe and to us on earth as well, so that all people everywhere could feel this tremendous love if they wanted to. It was as if love was emanating from Him out into the universe, permeating time and space, even in his physical absence.

As I looked down upon this scene, only one person in the city looked back at me. He appeared handsome to me, had dark hair and dark eyes, and caught my eye just for a second. At that moment I understood that he was to be my child. I thought that couldn’t be, because I can’t have any more children because of my diabetes. The thought lasted for just a moment and then he turned back toward the Savior. The fulfillment of this experience came later.

I AM GREETED BY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

At that moment I wanted nothing more than to go down into the city. I do not know if my intent was to ask His forgiveness through my tears or merely to embrace him and bask in his love. I needed so desperately at that moment to feel his forgiveness and love in the despondent aftermath of my life’s review. Before I was able to begin movement toward the city, however, I could see a beautiful woman coming up a path behind me.

I recognized powerfully at this time that I could see with every part of my body, not just my eyes, so I was aware of what was happening all around me. I could even see out of my fingertips. It was strange and wonderful to have that spirit body, a thing of light and substance beyond earthly description and capable of doing so much more than our bodies of flesh.

As this beautiful woman approached nearer, I turned around to face her. Her hair was a dark blond and swirled up on her head in kind of what we call a French twist. She had on a peach-colored robe with a turquoise kind of cummerbund around her waist, a cream-colored robe over her shoulder down to the ground; and she was barefoot. Her robe had a soft, glimmering sheerness to it that seemed to flow like liquid and yet it was opaque.

I did not recognize her, though she seemed somewhat familiar. It seemed that I should know her, but I had no idea who she was. As I looked at her I was somehow able to determine that she was an older woman, even though she looked to be about 30 years old. Another wonderful thing about the spirits I saw is that they all looked to be somewhere in their 20s or 30s. They were all absolutely beautiful and perfect, and while you can easily tell them apart by their individual distinctive features, you are also able to recognize them by “reading” their light.

Upon reaching me she said with surprise, “La Nelle, what are you doing here?” I questioned in my mind what she meant and how she knew who I was. I understood in the intuitive way I had come to expect by now, that there was something like a kind of signal that alerts family members in the spirit world when a relative on earth is about to die or “cross over.” This provides the opportunity for them to be there and dress the new arrival, sometimes even before they leave the body. This woman, whom I did not know, was a relative of mine. She had been caught by surprise, somehow knowing that it wasn’t my time to cross over. So she had hurried to reach me.

My mind tried to grasp the thought that it wasn’t my time to die, and more understanding began to flood into my thoughts. Apparently all of us have an allotted length of time to spend on the earth. No righteous person in this world dies before his or her time. So when a beautiful little child dies, or a beloved grandma or grandpa, or a sixteen-year-old nephew or sweet neighbor, we should not be overly concerned. If they were good people their death is correct according to their plan, even though it may be a time of sadness to those left behind. Sometimes a person’s time can be cut short by use of drugs or other poor choices of how they care for their body, and they lose the benefit of that time on earth. But, as I perceived it, the timing is more important than the way or manner a person dies.

I also understood that we have the choice or option to shorten our allotted time. I had tried to do so by committing suicide, but it was a very great sin and a terrible action to take. I thought about my death and immediately realized that for many suicides there is a great penalty or price that has to be paid. My understanding was that there are different kinds of suicides and so they are judged differently. There are those who are not in control of their minds at the time of their suicide, and judgement for them would be very different as opposed to those who kill themselves so they will not get caught for some terrible crime they have committed. An example would be when someone kills someone else and then kills his or her own self.

Jesus knows and understands all of the circumstances present that cause a person to take such a drastic measure, even though to commit suicide for any reason is very bad. He takes all of that into consideration as no one else can when making assignments in the spirit world. Assignment may not really be the correct word because it seems to indicate decisions made on our behalf by someone else. Quite the opposite is true. Our assignments are determined by the choices we have made and how we have lived our lives here on earth.

This entire chain of thoughts passed through my mind in the time it took this beautiful spirit woman to hesitate between words. She continued, “You cannot stay here. You have to go back.” At this I started to cry because I had planned on going down to the city and wanted with all my heart to see the Savior and ease the pain I was feeling. I protested, “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back.”

Just then I felt something pulling at me like a huge vacuum cleaner sucking me somewhere, and before I could say or do anything else, I found myself in another part of the spirit world—the place many refer to as hell.

There Is No Death

Chapter 3 - I Visit Hell

“An Absolutely Terrible Place of Darkness and Despair”

The following descriptions of my death experience are without a doubt the most significant to me. Though I saw wondrous things, experienced the amazing abilities of the spirit body, and viewed future world events, the singular, life-changing event in all of my experience was the time I spent in a place we on earth commonly refer to as hell.

TOTAL DARKNESS

In but a moment I once again changed locations. This time I was transported to a place of near-total darkness with subtle shades of gray and black. Several things hit me all at once, and the total impact of it all was almost ferocious in its intensity. All of my newly discovered senses were bombarded at the same time with a black and heavy fear. The total effect is hard to describe because it was so overwhelming, but I will try to describe it.

The first impression was that I had been in a place of extremely bright, penetrating light and now found myself surrounded by almost complete darkness. But it was more and much worse than mere darkness. It was a heavy and oppressive blackness that I could feel pressing upon my spirit body.

OVERWHELMING SOUNDS

The sounds around me were something I felt with my whole being rather than just heard. They were awful and reached into me, filling me with a sense of fear and dread. At first I thought the sounds I was hearing and feeling were those of tortured animals wailing in pain, but I quickly realized in almost a horror that these unbelievable sounds were coming from people. Many were weeping. Others were sobbing hysterically. Still others were wailing and crying in terrible anguish, anguish that was caused not by physical pain, but by an inner, unbearable torment.

About the same time that I recognized the source of the noise that penetrated my entire being, I also became aware of shapes moving in the blackness. I found that if I concentrated I could make out the silhouettes of people, the very same people who were making these pitiful, mournful, and almost inhuman sounds.

As I moved about, I could actually feel the “air” surrounding my body as it relentlessly pressed against me. I started to feel somewhat claustrophobic, like a person drowning in thick goo. Into my mind it came that the “air” I was feeling was actually some kind of a tangible substance that locked these spirits into this place and did not allow them to cross over into the beautiful part of the spirit world where I had previously been. It was something like or related to the “screen film” I had observed twice in the place of beauty, though it was different in its function.

Slowly moving about in this awful place, surrounded by the darkness, and feeling with all of my senses the cries of these tormented spirits, I asked in my mind, Am I in hell?

MY QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED

The answer came quickly. No, this was not hell, exactly; this was a place of temporary confinement for those spirits who had committed acts of evil in their lives on earth and, having not repented of them, had to suffer for their choices. Here they suffered a penalty for their sins that would help them understand the broad consequences of evil. People on earth referred to this place as hell because it is so very horrifying, but here they called it spirit prison. I understood that there were several parts to this spirit prison, and I was in the smallest and worst part of this place of sorrow. However, I was impressed with the thought that the entire area was huge, perhaps even larger than the beautiful, peaceful part of the spirit world.

People who had committed heinous, horrible crimes against other human beings were locked into this terrible place where they would for a period of time feel the pain they had inflicted upon others, but that pain was enormously multiplied. They were in an agony beyond mortal words or comprehension. I also understood that many of those held there were still filled with the hate and anger that had consumed them while upon the earth. I was somehow permitted to feel a small part of their emotions. The desires to murder, inflict pain, and destroy that they felt in their earth lives had remained with them, but they were prevented from committing those acts by the barrier that surrounded them.

I asked the question, “How could a loving God put any of his children in a place so terrible and dark?” The answer came immediately to my mind: God didn’t put them here; their own actions drew them here. I then understood that somehow their terrible actions and desires on earth caused them to be attracted and pulled to this terrible place. I didn’t exactly understand how that worked, but the answer satisfied me.

THERE IS NO LIGHT HERE

I also understood that the reason it was so dark was because they, the people who were here, had no light. I then was given to understand that in the spirit world I had just left, everything was so bright because everything had light coming from it. The plants, the animals, the buildings, and especially the people all had light coming from their bodies, and that is why they didn’t need to have a sun or a star to give them light—they all produced their own light. I then remembered that I had not seen a sun in the sky, but that everything was bright as if it had been in the middle of the day. Here in this place everything was so dark because the people here were dark; they had rejected the light and turned against it, and therefore it wasn’t in them.

While listening to the cries of these people and feeling their pain, something very strange seemed to come over me. I began to feel very badly for them. The reason for the strangeness of what I was feeling was that I had never felt sympathy for anyone back on earth. My attitude had always been that it was a dog-eat-dog world, and I was going to take care of myself and let everyone else get along the best they could. But here I was feeling sincere pain and concern for those around me.

I wondered how long they would have to stay and instantly knew that some of them had already been there for a very long time—over a thousand years as time is measured on earth. Many others would stay perhaps for another thousand years or until they had fully repented of the things they had done. But at the same time I knew it was more than just repenting; it was that they were paying a price, the consequences of their actions, in some sort of a cosmic, spiritual way that I could not completely comprehend.

With my next thought I became extremely frightened. I asked “Am I going to have to stay here for the things I have done?” I was terrified at the thought of staying in this awful place filled with such great pain and sorrow. I knew that I could not stand to be there for two minutes, let alone a thousand years, and I began to feel tremendous pain, as if I were about to begin to weep with these people. I cried in my heart: I cannot stay here! Is this where I am going to be for a thousand years? Must I stay in this place until I have paid the price for the actions and choices of my life?

I STAND NEXT TO MY FATHER

At that exact moment I felt my father standing next to me. I did not turn to look at him. However, I could feel his presence next to me, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was my father. Suddenly I was able to feel a small part of the pain that he was feeling for the life he lived. It was so completely overwhelming and excruciating that even 22 years after that experience I can still feel the pain my father felt and hear him crying. I could not bear to look at him. As I stood there listening to him crying and feeling his horrific pain, the spirit of hate that had been my constant companion during life, causing me to hate him and everyone else, suddenly and inexplicably left me.

Previously it had been as if I carried a drawn sword in my hand and used it often to cut down everything and everyone in my life. This experience with my father and the other spirits in this part of spirit prison took the sword out of my hand. I felt so sorry for him and so badly that I wanted to just put my arms around him, perhaps to give him some comfort, but I didn’t. I couldn’t touch him, so I just stood there feeling his pain and the change that had taken place in his heart from the life he had lived and from when I had known him. Now he had real sorrow for what he had done—for the pain he had inflicted on others. I realized that he was repenting, but it was so excruciatingly painful and slow, it would take a very long time.

Once again I realized that not only do we feel the pain of what we have done in our lives, but we also feel the pain that we have inflicted upon others (from their perspective). That was the unspeakable pain felt by those spirits that caused them to wail like animals.

Then the thought came to me that I was going to return to mortality. At that moment the idea of going back into my “clay body” and the miserable life I had led sounded wonderful—anything to get out of this place of pain and darkness. Even the trials of life were better than being there.

There Is No Death

Chapter 4 - I See the Future

“I See Many Events That Will Soon Happen in the World”

As I tried to look away from my black surroundings, a small light started to shine in front of me, and the darkness, sounds, and feelings that had so completely oppressed me started to fade into the background. The light grew bigger, and a window opened up much the same as when I witnessed my life’s review. This time, however, a panoramic view of the entire earth lay before me. It came closer and closer as if I had been out in space and was flying toward it.

I knew that what was happening was intended to help me make my decision about going back to earth and my terrible life. A part of me wanted to go back to the beautiful spirit world, or paradise, that I saw, and another part of me felt the need to be reunited with my body so I could change my life. It was a tug-of-war, and what I was about to see was to help me understand what I would be going through if I chose to go back into my “body of clay.”

Again, the view before me played out like a videotape in fast-forward motion, and yet I could see the scene in perfect clarity and was able to comprehend everything that transpired. As the earth zoomed up into my view, I first saw the whole world and then the various countries. It was made clear to me that in the future there would be wars and troubles, including nuclear attacks in various places in the world. A view of how it would start was given.

ISRAEL IS ATTACKED, A WORLD WAR BEGINS

I am not familiar with the geography of the world, but as I looked at the various lands before my view, I instinctively knew what countries they were. Looking at the Middle East, I watched as a missile flew from Libya and hit Israel. The mushroom cloud that resulted from the blast was visible, and I knew that the missile had contained a nuclear bomb. I was aware that those responsible for the missile were Iranian, but the missile had been hidden and fired from within the borders of Libya.

Almost immediately after this, other missiles began flying from one country to another, quickly spreading war around the world. I also saw that many nuclear explosions did not come from missiles but from bombs of some kind on the ground.

My focus then changed from the Middle East to the United States, and I understood that I was about to see some of the things that would lead up to the nuclear holocaust that I had just witnessed.

TALL BUILDINGS IN NEW YORK FALL

As I looked upon the continent of North America, I zeroed in on the eastern coast and then on New York specifically. I saw New York City with all of its people and buildings. Then I saw some tall buildings crashing to the earth surrounded by tremendous amounts of smoke, dust, and debris.

I zoomed in closer into the smoke and dust, and I saw a woman holding a little girl’s hand and running from the crashing buildings. The woman had long dark hair hanging past her shoulders and curled inward slightly. She wore a beige business suit, heels of a slightly darker color, perhaps tan, and she was not wearing glasses. The little girl appeared to be six or seven years old with short brown hair reaching below the chin and cut in a type of pageboy look. They ran together, holding hands and trying to escape from the falling buildings. As they ran through the heavy smoke and dust, they were forced to let go of their hands and became separated. The child was terrified, and I could hear her screaming, “Mommy, mommy!” over and over again.

I don’t know their outcome, if they lived or died, but I can still see the face of the woman clearly and could easily identify her from a photo or describe her to a sketch artist. I asked if an earthquake had caused the buildings to fall and felt impressed that the answer was no. However, I was not given any indication as to the cause of the destruction. (Incidentally, I told this story many, many times before September 11, 2001. When I did see on television the World Trade Center towers collapsing, I knew that this was what I had seen.)

COMMERCE CEASES

The next thing that came to me was more felt than seen. It was the understanding that shortly after the crashing of the buildings in New York City, commerce ceased. Shopping and buying seemed to stop, and the economy failed throughout the world. Few had any money at all, and those who did have it could not buy anything of worth with it. Gold and silver and other commodities had value and could be traded.

FOUR CITIES ATTACKED WITH DISEASE

I then saw a man walk into the middle of a crowd of people and drop what seemed like a quart jar full of liquid. The jar broke and the liquid spread. I understood that people nearby had become infected with a disease from the liquid, and they didn’t even know it. A day or two later people became sick and started dying. I saw that this would happen in four particular cities: New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Salt Lake City. The disease started with white blisters, some the size of a dime, appearing on the hands, arms, and faces of the victims. The blisters quickly developed into white puffy sores. Those with the disease would stumble around and fall over dead. Many died within a short time, perhaps 24 hours.

I also saw other people with a flu-like virus that spread more quickly than the first disease. The victims had blood coming from their nose, mouth, eyes, and ears. These people died even faster of this disease than the ones who had the first sickness. These diseases became widespread across the United States with hundreds of thousands infected.

MARAUDING GANGS AND CHAOS

As the people were fleeing the cities in the hope of saving their lives, gangs were attacking and killing them. In the towns that were struck with disease there was chaos with looting, rioting, and murders involved—a complete breakdown of society. Many people seemed to go crazy. I sensed that the electricity had failed everywhere and that nothing was running throughout the country, including any of the communications systems. I watched people throw rocks through windows to steal TVs that would not work and thought it very strange.

While I watched this all happening in the United States, my view instantly jumped back to the Middle East, and I saw the same thing taking place in Israel. The same sores and the same types of sickness and disease that were plaguing the United States had also been unleashed in Israel.

THE LONG WINTER AND FAMINE

The switch in view only lasted an instant, and I was back to the United States. There was a tremendously long winter that caught everyone by surprise following the siege of sickness. It started early and lasted into the summer months. A famine had begun over the few years leading up to the long winter because of storms, droughts, floods, and other plagues that had taken place. And the abnormally long cold period seemed to cause the famine to suddenly increase to its full measure.

In the period of time following the disease, which was quickly followed by the long winter, things started going downhill very quickly. Events piled up one on top of another without any breaks. My sense of timing was not very clear at this moment, however, because I was seeing several things happening all at the same time or very close together.

During and after the long winter, the disease spread everywhere and increased in severity. The economy and the electricity were completely gone. Chaos and anarchy reigned over the entire United States. Without any government there was a total breakdown, and I saw people panicking everywhere. They were trying in vain to find food. There was none. I saw people even digging in the ground for worms to eat because they were so hungry from the lack of food.

DEADLY WATER

Also during this time I became aware that there was very little drinking water and that the remaining water had become contaminated, so that if a person drank it they would contract the disease and die. Because of their great thirst, many people drank the water in spite of the danger of poisoning and died.

I mentioned earlier the gangs that killed people trying to escape the cities. It seemed that some of the people had lost their minds and went around in these gangs killing people just for the sake of killing; others killed for food or to gain some material possessions from their victims. Those who were killing for no reason were like beasts—animals completely out of control as they raped, looted, burned, and butchered people. I saw these gangs go into the homes of those who were hiding. They would drag them out of their hiding places, rape, and dismember them.

For many there was an unnatural fear and hatred that came over the people. Family ties that once existed between husbands and wives, parents and children, no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was individual survival. Men would kill their wives and children for food or water. Mothers would kill their children. For me, the events that then lay before me were horrible beyond description and almost unbearable to watch.

CITIES OF LIGHT AND SAFETY

The air everywhere seemed to be filled with smoke as many buildings and cities burned with no attempt to control the fires. As I looked upon this scene of chaos, smoke, and destruction, I noticed that there were small pockets of light scattered over the United States. There were, I would guess, about 20 or 30 of them. I noticed that most of the locations of light were in the western part of the United States with only three or four of them being in the East. These places of light seemed to shine brightly through the darkness and were such a contrast to the rest of the scene that they caught my full attention. I focused on them for a moment and asked, “What are these things?”

I was then able to see that these points of light were people who had gathered together and were kneeling in prayer. The light was actually coming from the people, and I understood that the light was showing forth their goodness and love. I further understood that they had gathered together for safety and that, contrary to what I had witnessed elsewhere, they cared more for each other than for themselves. Some of the groups were small with only a hundred people or so, but other groups consisted of what seemed to be thousands.

I realized that many, if not all, of these places of light, or cities of light as I began to think of them, had somehow been established just before the biological attack and that they were very organized. It was as if they had known what was coming and had prepared for it. I did not see who or what had organized them, but I did see many people struggling to reach them with nothing but what they could carry.

These cities of light had food that others outside of those groups did not have, and within the cities of light the food was readily shared with those who joined their groups. In these places there was peace and safety. The inhabitants were living in tents of all kinds, many of which were no more than blankets held up by poles. I noticed that the gangs made no threats on these groups and left them completely alone, choosing to pick on easier targets and unprotected people. This was probably because many of the people in these cities had guns that they would use for self-defense. The gangs also preyed upon the people who were traveling and trying to reach the cities of light.

As I looked upon them I realized that these cities of light were temporary and that in a short time the people living within them would go to another place. I do not know where they were to go but seemed to think that they gathered in the mountains, to higher places.

THE NUCLEAR ATTACK ON THE UNITED STATES

As I was viewing the cities of light, my focus changed and I became aware of missiles being launched and hitting U.S. cities. I watched as mushroom clouds started forming over many areas of the States. Some of the clouds came from missiles that I knew were fired from Russia, and others were not from missiles at all but from bombs that were already within the United States. These latter bombs had been hidden in trucks and in cars driven to certain locations and then detonated.

I specifically saw Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and New York City hit with bombs. New York City was hit with a missile, but I think that Los Angeles was hit by at least one truck bomb, if not several, because I did not see any missile. I also saw a small mushroom cloud form north of Salt Lake City but without the aid of a missile.

In the darkness I also saw little fireballs. I’m not sure if this happened just before or during the mushroom clouds. The balls fell from the sky, were of different sizes—most being the size of golf balls—and were very hot. There were millions of them. As they fell from the sky, they left streaks of flame and smoke behind them. Everything they touched started on fire: people, buildings, trees, or grass. Everything burned. I didn’t ask what they were or where they had come from because by this time I was sick over the scene before me; so I observed without asking many questions.

NORTH AMERICA INVADED

At almost the same time and in the same locations as the mushroom clouds, I saw Russian and Chinese troops invading the United States. The Russians were parachuting into many spots along the Eastern Coast; I also saw them parachuting into Utah. Chinese troops were invading from the West Coast near Los Angeles. They were met with resistance from those who had survived the disease and bombs. I did not see any United States military there at that time.

This invasion was part of the nuclear war that I had seen earlier, and I knew that similar events were taking place all over the world as I had seen previously. I did not see much of this war but was impressed that it was short in duration and that the Russian and Chinese armies lost and left. No explanation regarding how or why was received.

THE EARTH CLEANSES ITSELF

Now the smoke became very heavy, dark, and thick. Just as things appeared to be as bad as they could get, the earth began to quake. This occurred during a winter, seemingly the winter that followed the very long one I had seen earlier. The chaos had existed for almost a full year by this time. The earthquakes began in the West, around Idaho and Wyoming, and then quickly spread in every direction. I saw a huge earthquake hit Utah and then California. There were earthquakes all over California but they were especially devastating in the Los Angeles and San Francisco areas. San Francisco appeared to turn upside down. The multiple earthquakes triggered volcanoes all over the West, and they started spewing a tremendous amount of ash and smoke into the air causing it to become very dark and dirty and to block much of what was left of the sunlight. There were also huge waves of water that swept over the West Coast, and as I saw them I realized that this same thing was happening to coastal cities all over the world. The waves were so huge that Los Angeles was nearly swept away.

I saw a wall of water taller than some of the buildings, perhaps as high as 15 or 20 feet, sweep through Salt Lake City. I thought this strange because of its location so far from the ocean, and I wondered how a wave could travel all the way to Salt Lake City. I was impressed that the wave had not originated at the ocean but was from underground. I quickly noticed great cracks in the earth around Salt Lake City open up and saw water shooting up out of the ground. I felt that deep under the ground there was a huge amount of water and that the earthquakes had forced it up to the surface. Most of the buildings were swept away or destroyed when the water swept over the city. In fact, there had been tremendous destruction, with only a few buildings left standing. The water coming from underground stretched from Idaho down to near Cedar City, Utah, and was very destructive.

As I looked, I could see that cities all over the country had been devastated and there was rubble everywhere. Most of the buildings were destroyed. However, I realized that even though there was tremendous destruction from earthquakes, disease, floods, volcanoes, and tidal waves, the majority of deaths were caused by the gangs of roving marauders that killed for pleasure.

As I studied this scene for a moment, the thought occurred to me that the earth itself had become sickened at the terrible acts of cruelty that were happening upon it and was finally reacting through these natural disasters. The earth was attempting to cleanse itself of the chaos and evil that engulfed the people. The ash and smoke from the volcanoes had increased, and there was now almost complete darkness everywhere upon the earth.

The diseases also increased in devastation, and I saw people literally dying on their feet. I saw another particular disease that started with red blotches, and then the victims would quickly start to bleed from every opening in their bodies. Then the people literally disintegrated, or melted into unrecognizable masses of flesh and bone. The sight was horrendous; death and the dead were everywhere.

After this second terrible winter, I saw the survivors pile up the dead into huge piles to burn them. The stench was sickening. Some of the bodies had been burned during the time of chaos, but because people were more concerned with their survival, they had mostly ignored the dead around them.

FOUR MORE EVENTS

I then saw four more things. First, a huge earthquake occurred in the middle of the United States. It was tremendous and seemed to split the United States in half about where the Mississippi River is. The crack in the earth that resulted was huge, miles wide, and as it opened up the earth seemed to swallow everything. Water flowed in from the Gulf of Mexico all the way up to the Great Lakes. The Great Lakes did not exist any longer, however, because they became part of a large inland sea.

I then saw another series of tremendous earthquakes all over the world. But they were not many, separate earthquakes; rather they were all part of one gigantic earthquake that shook the entire earth. Because of this earthquake, waters overflowed their boundaries onto the land all over the world. There were again huge walls of water along all of the coastal regions. This earthquake and the walls of water made the earlier ones seem small by comparison. I am not sure if the earthquake that split the United States in two was a part of this worldwide quake or not.

Next I saw a mighty wind come upon the earth. As the wind hit, I saw people go into caves and into the cracks of rocks to try to escape its fury. It appeared to be stronger than any hurricane or tornado. It seemed that everything that had been left was now blown away. I understood, without asking, that the great worldwide earthquake and the mighty wind were somehow caused by a huge planetlike object that had come very close to the earth and had disrupted everything. It was also made clear to me that it was very near the “end” when this happened.

Now my perspective changed. I once again viewed the entire earth from a distance. I then saw a huge fireball, much bigger than the earth, approaching our planet. It was extremely bright red and gold in color, and it engulfed the whole earth. When I witnessed this event, I could not help but feel the difference between it and everything else that occurred, and so I asked what this was that I saw. I was impressed that it was the burning of the earth that is described in the Bible. I understood that just before the fireball’s appearance, Jesus had appeared, and the good people I had seen earlier had gone with him and were no longer upon the earth. The few people left behind were those wicked individuals who had survived the earlier devastations.

The picture of the earth engulfed by this huge ball of red and gold fire slowly faded away into blackness. I was thinking that I have to go down and take care of my children so that they could be protected from these terrible things that were going to happen, and then I don’t remember any more until I woke up in the hospital.

There Is No Death

Chapter 5 - My Return to Mortality

THE HOSPITAL

As I began realizing that I was back in my body, I could hear the sounds of a hospital emergency room and feel someone forcing a thick, gooey, awful-tasting liquid down my throat. I started throwing up and continued to do so again and again. Thus began my return to mortality.

While I was in the hospital I was in turmoil. Part of me was groggy and tired and wanted just to be left alone so that I could sleep. But the other part of me didn’t want to sleep for fear of waking up and not remembering what happened. Sleep won out most of the time, but happily I soon realized that I wasn’t going to forget what I experienced, and I stopped worrying about it. Even though I spent the little waking time I had constantly thinking about what happened, I didn’t tell anyone at the hospital about it.

My hospital stay lasted for a couple of days, but no one came to visit. I was tired and lonely and wanted to go home badly. I kept thinking how wonderful it would be to see my children and worried that there was no one at the apartment to feed my cat, whom I dearly loved.

TWO WEEKS IN AN EARTHLY “PURGATORY”

Two very nice policemen arrived one day without warning and took me in their police vehicle away from the hospital. Was I going home? Instead, they took me to a psychiatric facility in Hawthorne for the evaluation required by state law in cases involving suicide.

Almost immediately after I was admitted, some men in white coats literally dragged a young girl in, screaming at the top of her lungs. They locked her in a room and went away. That event set the tone of my entire hospital stay. I was “incarcerated” together with a lot of drug addicts, drunks, runaways, and a few mentally disturbed people, both men and women. It was not a pleasant place to be.

I spent two weeks there and hated every single minute of it. There was no privacy at all—and I really mean no privacy. We were always being watched, even when we took a shower or went to the bathroom. They were always asking stupid questions, often the same ones over and over again. It seemed as if they were just playing games with me, and many of the others thought so as well.

I soon learned that if I wanted to be released from that place I should tell them only what they wanted to know, so I kept the information regarding my incredible and wonderful experience to myself. In fact, I lied to them so that I could get out of there faster. I said I hadn’t committed suicide, but rather had been very stressed and took some medication to sleep. (I don’t think I fooled them.) I did tell the lady psychiatrist questioning me that if I hadn’t wanted to commit suicide before arriving at her facility, I definitely would have after being there a while.

The only thing that helped me keep my sanity during this time was that I remembered everything about my experience and thought about it constantly. It consumed me. I never wondered if it had been a dream or something I imagined. I knew without a doubt that it really happened. My problem was deciding what to do about it. I remembered my life’s review and how badly I felt. I wanted desperately to “repent,” like the man I had seen in the spirit world, so that my awful life would be blocked and couldn’t be read, but I didn’t know how to begin.

No friend or family member visited or called me during the time I was undergoing psychiatric evaluation. After two weeks I was discharged, and my oldest sister Sandra came and picked me up in her car. While we drove she didn’t say a word. The silence was deafening. I felt I needed to say something to help her feel the same change and understanding that I now felt, especially towards our father. I wanted to help relieve the pain I knew she was feeling. After building up my courage I said, “It is important that you forgive our father for what he did to you. I know what happened to you.” She stared ahead and didn’t respond. It was suddenly very cold in the car. I didn’t see or talk to my sister after that day, until ten years later.

I went back for a couple of days to the apartment where I had been living. Mark really didn’t care about what had happened to me. He was struggling so hard with his own problems that he didn’t have time for anything or anyone else. His cocaine addiction was destroying him, and I knew I had to get out of there. I was still depressed, confused, and tired—not concerning my experience, but about what I was going to do in life. I still didn’t have a job, any money, or a place to live. At the same time I knew I had to make some serious changes in “me,” but I still didn’t have a clue about how or where to begin.

JOANNE TO THE RESCUE

About that time my foster sister Joanne came to my rescue once again, as she had many times before, and allowed me to stay with her until I could get back on my feet. For a couple of months I didn’t do much more than sleep and think about my experience and what I was going to do about it. Joanne helped a lot, and slowly I started coming out of my depression. I told Joanne a little about my experience from time to time, a little bit here and a little bit there, but never the whole story until much later. Sharing my experience was not my focus—trying to deal with life was. After a few months I started functioning again and going to different churches and reading the New Testament daily. That helped a lot.

It was about this time that my life resumed its usual, ugly course. I quickly realized that even though I had experienced something truly wonderful, learned a tremendous amount of important and precious truths, and was trying to change myself, my life was not going to be peaches and cream.

I went to work, got my sons back with me, and life was getting into a livable routine. Then one day I received notice that my ex-husband was suing me for custody of my youngest son. In the suit I was characterized as an irresponsible, uneducated derelict, unfit to have or raise children. It used my suicide attempt as the crux of the suit. During the court proceedings I found that trials can be tremendously stressful and that truth does not always prevail. People who were usually committed to truth suddenly lied and misrepresented.

I kept in contact with Mark, who was struggling to overcome his cocaine addiction. He was making some progress, and when I told him about my legal problems, he offered to hire an attorney for me. He was very sweet and paid thousands of dollars for a very capable lawyer, and it worked. After the dust settled, I had gone through one of the most difficult times of my life, but I miraculously won custody of my baby. (Mark and I still communicate often. He has overcome his addiction and is doing quiet well.)

During the custody fight I got a job as a waitress at Twains, a really nice restaurant. The work helped and it was good money. It wasn’t long before I had my own apartment and my three boys back with me.

During this time I worked really hard on changing me, which wasn’t easy. I had a lot of bad habits and attitudes that had to be overcome. The first thing to learn was to keep my mouth shut and not say anything negative. For a long time I didn’t say a whole lot. Then I worked on changing my thoughts—even to the point of not thinking bad things about people. I tried hard not to judge anyone anymore.

I TELL MY EXPERIENCE TO FRANK

It was while working at Twains that I first told my full story to someone. Late one afternoon an elderly man, who appeared to be in his seventies and down on his luck, came in. As I went to take his order, I noticed that his hands were shaking really badly—so badly he was spilling coffee all over the counter. I asked him, “Are you all right?” He started crying right there in front of everyone in the restaurant. I waited a minute and then he controlled himself for a moment and said, “A pretty girl like you wouldn’t understand.” I replied, “Yes, I would. I can understand your feelings. Try me.”

Slowly it came out. He didn’t want to live anymore. He used to be a top chef in some of the best restaurants but had problems keeping a job because of his drinking. Then he had a terrible car accident one night when he was drunk. His wife of forty-plus years died in the crash. He could not forgive himself. Everything had fallen apart after that, and he had come to the end of his rope. He felt he had failed in everything he tried and there was no reason left for him to live. Even though he had quit drinking, things hadn’t improved. He felt he was a worthless bum and he might as well end it all. He didn’t know how to do it, but he was going to do it that night.

I told him, “Listen, I really need to tell you something very, very important, but I can’t do it here. Will you promise me that you will not do anything tonight and come and have dinner with me at my apartment tomorrow night? I can tell you about something that can help you. Then after you listen to what I have to say, if you still want to commit suicide, I won’t stop you.” He hesitated for a minute and then looked me in the eye to see if I was for real. He then said he would. I gave him my address and phone number and made him promise again not to do anything until after the next night. He said his name was Frank.

The next night we had dinner and I told him of my experience. I started with my life and then my suicide, and then I told him about my entire visit to the spirit world. I told him everything. It affected him, and he went home saying he wasn’t going to do anything other than just think about what I had told him. I gave him a book containing verses from the New Testament, and he promised to read it.

We talked several times, and he came into the restaurant every day after that. We became good friends and talked often, even after I moved out of California. It took him a while, but he started trying to put his life back together. He even started to take some classes at a community college to improve himself.

Eleven years later, I received a phone call from the LA police saying that he had died of a heart attack. They found my name and phone number in his wallet and so called me. They sent me some of his personal effects, including the book of scriptures I had given him. I know he truly is in a much better place, and I know I will see my friend again.

After the court case ended and I miraculously won custody of my child, I decided that the best thing for my family was to move out of Los Angeles and California. I was really worried that my former husband, who was livid about losing the lawsuit, would show up one night and hurt us. And so I thought it would be best to move away somewhere where he would never find me or even think to look. I moved to Utah.

MY SON IS KIDNAPPED

We had been in Utah about three or four months when one day one of the neighbors came running into the little house we rented. She was hysterical. She blurted out that an old car with a man and a woman in it had pulled up along the sidewalk. The man got out, pushed their son down off of his bicycle, and grabbed my son. The man jumped back into the car with my boy screaming and kicking and drove off. It all happened so fast that noone was able to get a good look at the man or woman or even get a license plate number.

The police came but were not able to do anything to help. I was devastated and cried a lot. I felt as if my life had been ripped away from me. After a very long and emotional two weeks, I received a telegram from my ex-husband. He said that he had taken his son and was going to raise him and that I would never see him again. I turned it over to the police and cried even harder.

After the police gave up trying to locate my son, I took my two boys and moved back to Los Angeles where I started working at Twains again. It was now 1987. Five years had passed since my suicide. Slowly, gradually, things improved. I kept thinking about the things I experienced, and every once in a while I shared it with someone. I worked on improving myself and changing my habits. I kept up reading the New Testament daily and took a renewed interest in going to church and religion in general.

THE ASSAULT AND STABBING

I started dating again and met an individual at the restaurant who was very charismatic. At first I wouldn’t date him, but he was persistent. So we had dinner a couple of times. Then one evening he said he needed me to come over to his apartment and help him with a sewing problem. I didn’t feel good and didn’t want to go, but he was insistent. When I arrived, he pulled me into his apartment, locked the door, and started beating me. It was like he was possessed. After he assaulted me, he stabbed me. I thought for sure he was going to kill me when he suddenly stopped and left me alone.

The wound wasn’t deep, and I recovered fairly quickly. My assailant was arrested and locked away in prison for ten years. My new attitude helped me overcome this trying experience in rather short order. In fact, I found myself being more and more happy with my life, even though it was still difficult. And while I still missed my boy terribly, the new outlook was a welcome change.

I ADOPT A SPECIAL BABY AND GO BLIND

Two years after the assault, I met a young girl who was very pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion, but I talked her out of it by agreeing to pay all the expenses of the birth and adopting the baby. I really wanted the baby. It took every dime I could scrape together for the adoption, including selling most of my furniture. But I felt it was worth it. I knew that this precious little baby was the spirit whose eye I had caught in the spirit world.

While the adoption was in process, a man came into the restaurant and we started talking. I had never seen him before, but he was friendly and we chatted. It came out that I was working hard to earn enough money to pay for the adoption. He said he would like to help. I politely turned him down a couple of times, the conversation turned to other things, and he left. The next day he showed up again and handed me an envelope and left. In it was two thousand dollars with a note saying it was for the baby. I never saw him again. I thanked the Lord profusely for this miracle; the money was sorely needed.

After three years the adoption was finalized, and I felt it was time to move. By now the two oldest boys had left home, leaving only my adopted child and me. We settled down, and during the next couple of years things went very well. We had sufficient for our needs; and then one day I woke up with a terrible headache and couldn’t see. Everything was a blur and I couldn’t focus past about four feet. I felt terrible all over and asked a friend to take me to the hospital. After an examination I was told that I was going blind as a result of my severe diabetes and there was nothing I could do about it. I was told that I would probably lose all of my eyesight over the next three or four months.

THE SWIRLING TUNNEL OF STARS

By this time my attitude was one of, OK, I will just deal with it. I started working on getting used to being blind. About a week later I woke up with severe pain in my kidneys. It was so painful that I couldn’t even reach the phone and dial. It felt like I was dying. I had my son call a close friend—by now I actually had several—and she came right over to take me to the hospital.

The pain was severe, and they had to carry me out to the car. My face had gone to an ashen gray, and I became limp like a dishrag. In the car as we were speeding to the hospital, my friend Lyn was saying, “Hold on Sarah, you’re going to make it.” I would reply, “No, I’m not. I am going to die this time. I see a tunnel full of stars with a light at the end.” I could see this swirling black tunnel full of stars in front of me. It was beautiful. It got lighter the farther away it went from me, until it reached the end where there was a very bright light. I thought, I am going to really cross over this time. I am going to cross over because now I see the tunnel that everyone always talks about. I wasn’t afraid. Then I must have passed out because I don’t remember anything more.

Luckily the hospital wasn’t very far away and they rushed me into the emergency room. When I regained consciousness a little later, I was still in a lot of pain but at least I was alive. I was told that my kidneys had quit functioning as a result of my diabetes. They were only working at about one percent. As I recuperated, I was informed that I needed to have a kidney transplant and that I needed to start dialysis very soon. Otherwise I would probably die within a year or two. I surprised them when I told them, “No, I don’t want a new kidney or to go onto dialysis. And it wouldn’t bother me if I died in a year or two.”

MY LIFE IS SPARED FOR A PURPOSE

While I was in the hospital recuperating, a close friend of mine, a minister, came and prayed and talked with me often. He surprised me one day when, after praying together, he told me that he felt very strongly that the Lord was sparing my life so that people would hear my voice. What he said stunned me. He didn’t know anything about my experience and had no way of knowing what it meant to me for him to say that. But I knew immediately in my heart that I needed to share my experience with more people.

When he left, I thought a lot about what he said. I felt he was right, but I didn’t know how I could do it. After a day or two I felt strong enough to ask my doctor for permission to visit other patients in my hospital area; this included several terminally ill patients. Earlier when I had been in the hospital, I had shared my experience with her. She thought for a moment and gave me the go-ahead; so I started running around in my white hospital gown and dragging my stand with its IV drip bottle. I would walk in, sit down, and start talking to people. It seemed to help.

I made a remarkable recovery, at least so they said, and was sent home after about five days. A couple of days after arriving back home I was having a hard time breathing. I started struggling for breath and then collapsed. An ambulance was called, and I was back in the hospital. This time it was for congestive heart failure. Water from my kidneys had backed up into my lungs and into my heart, causing serious complications.

Ten years after he was kidnapped by his father, my son returned to me. He now lives nearby and drops by often, as do his older brothers. My life has continued to be filled with new and old challenges. I am still legally blind, and my kidneys often hurt. But I find myself constantly talking to more and more people about what I experienced. Hopefully it will make a difference in somebody’s life.

There Is No Death

Chapter 6 - The Lessons I Learned in the Spirit World

The desire to share the important concepts I learned while standing on the hill is very strong. During that time I learned so much so quickly that it would be impossible for me to write it all down. My learning at that time was not limited to one item followed by another like here on earth; instead, I started with one question and then progressed to learning what seemed like hundreds of things all at the same time. And what’s more I understood it all at the same time! Though the main learning session lasted only a few moments, it included some of life’s most important questions. Although learning took place throughout my experience, the greater part took place there on that wooded hill. I will do my best to share some of the marvelous truths I learned at that time, even though my language seems to come up short. It is something like describing a television to a nineteenth-century pioneer.

THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE

I believe that the most important thing I learned while standing upon the hill was just how very much we are loved and the importance of loving and caring for each other in our individual lives. My entire experience was permeated with a feeling of the importance of love. I sensed that everything that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do for us is based upon this love that they have for us. It is a very specific love and concern that surpasses every other emotion that we have experienced or can imagine.

What I mean is that they know each and every one of us personally and individually—and much better than we know ourselves. They know our faults and weaknesses, but they also know our strengths and the wonderful things that we are capable of. Although they are aware of the mistakes we make as a part of this human experience, they love us and sincerely want the very best for each one of us.

One of the main reasons we come to earth is to learn to develop this same kind of pure, selfless love for others. I also know that Heavenly Father and Jesus are bound by heavenly laws that measure what they can do for us. In order for them to bless us, we must comply with these heavenly laws here on earth or in the spirit world. It is also important to understand that some things that seem like blessings in this mortal life are not really as they appear. In this life we can obtain wealth and ease through doing evil, but it will only be temporary, and the consequences of doing evil will be severe.

After my experience I began reading the New Testament daily. I never really had read the Bible before, but now I had the desire to do so. I read where it talks about charity being more important than anything–more important than prophesying or speaking in tongues or a list of other things. I also read about the importance of loving our neighbors the way we would have them love us. Often we confuse this love with a romantic kind of love, but God’s love is very much different from that.

When I stood on the hill and watched as Jesus entered the city, I was able to feel for a small moment the intense love he has for me and for each of us. It was so intense in fact that it was almost consuming. My most heartfelt desire is to return to the spirit world so that I can once again bask in His love. The next time, however, I want to be able to be worthy to go down into the city and be in his presence.

WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL

One of the other significant concepts I learned is that on earth we have many things messed up as to their relative importance. One such idea that we have misplaced is the importance of physical beauty. Everyone is beautiful, unique, and special no matter what they look like or what clothing they may use to cover themselves. Before my experience, I had become very involved with the Hollywood scene, which is based largely on physical beauty, fancy clothes, perfect faces, and bodies, youth, and money.

Those values held dear in Hollywood are in direct opposition to things as they “really” are. Earth life is temporary. If a beautiful actress were to be horribly scarred in an accident, would she still be beautiful? Here on earth the answer would be no. But in the world beyond that is not the case. The true beauty of our souls and what we have become will go on with us forever.

We spent thousands of years as spirits before coming to earth, and we will spend millions more in the spirit world and beyond after we leave this existence. We are only here on earth for a relatively few short years, which seems as just a few moments to everyone in the spirit world. Spending so much of our lives focusing and concentrating all of our efforts on things like the attainment of wealth, beauty, and clothing is an unbelievable waste of time. This time on earth is a teaching time, a time to learn, a time of improvement, and a time to serve others so as to be better prepared for what follows.

THE IMPORTANCE OF HELPING OTHERS

Another important lesson I learned is that in this growing process called life we can’t and were not intended to “go it alone.” Nor were we intended to go through these experiences just to benefit ourselves. We are here to travel this life together, learning and growing from each other and thereby succeeding together in the end. We are all connected to and have known each other in a very real way for a very long time. The person we bump into on the street may have been our best friend before coming to this earth life.

Without exception, all of those living upon the earth at the present time knew and loved each other before being born. We don’t remember this because shortly after we are born, a block is put on a part of our “spiritual DNA” to prevent us from remembering our lives before coming to earth. However, every once in a while some small memory will leak through the block, and we will have a vague recognition of people or places. That is why many of us may have at some time in our lives met someone that we immediately “clicked” with, someone that we felt we had known “forever.” Indeed it may be so.

This reality is one of the reasons I feel so sad when I read about the terrible killings and wars, especially between the Arabs and the Jews. But it is the same for anyone else. They, in their forgetful ignorance, could quite possibly be killing their friends, people they dearly loved before coming to this life. That is another reason why the life review and complete remembering that we experience when we get to the other side is so difficult and painful. At that time, with our memory restored, we will realize the pain we inflicted was upon our brothers and sisters, our friends from long ago.

Another truth is that we cannot go to heaven alone. If a major part of this life’s existence is to learn to help and love others, then we cannot live like hermits and expect to go to heaven. I once read that Mother Theresa said, “Love is service to others.” I think that is it exactly. It is by serving others, helping them to become better people, and loving them that we learn the true principle of love. We grow and progress by doing for and giving to others in need, as Mother Theresa said, by service.

XOI-COI

I also learned a word that is used in the spirit world for which an equivalent in our language does not exist. The word is xoi-coi (pronounced x-oy koy—the spelling is a guess). This word means, “someone who doesn’t do anything while on earth.” This person doesn’t progress, help others, or care. In a way, he or she just takes up space, doing nothing worthwhile. Unfortunately I learned there are a lot of spirits who come to earth and become xoi-coi. They do nothing to elevate mankind or contribute to the improvement of the world. Contributions may be large or small because all do not have the same power to make a difference, but the important thing is to try. Even very small acts of kindness can make a big difference.

I recently heard a story about a young man who did a simple act of service that saved someone’s life. A boy who was considered a “geek” at school dropped a large pile of books while on his way home from school. The young man,, who was one of the most popular boys at school, was right there and helped the “geek” pick up the books and get him on the way with a smile. The two actually became friends.

Years later, the boy who had dropped the books was giving a lecture and divulged that when this “dropped-book” incident took place, he was about to do something drastic. He had been so completely discouraged that he had cleared out his locker so that no one would have to deal with the mess, and then he planned to commit suicide later that day. The kindly lift he was given in the time of need turned him around in his thoughts and stopped him from acting out his intention.

And look at Christopher Reeves. He can no longer be Superman, but he is making life better in the many ways that he can. This brings up another one of the questions I asked.

WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE SUFFER?

One of the questions I asked while on the hill was, “Why did I have to suffer so much pain during my life, especially at the hands of my father?” The reply was that nothing any of us suffer in this life would be more than we could stand and that in every hardship a way is provided to deal with or to overcome it. Our lives on earth, the things that we experience of good and bad, are designed especially to help us grow and are all part of God’s plan for us.

As God plans and prepares good things for us, there is an evil spirit we call Satan who, with the assistance of other like-minded spirits, orchestrates bad experiences in our lives. Satan, I learned, is a very real spirit person. He was the leader of a group of spirits who rebelled or tried to fight against God a long time before we came to earth. I cannot begin to express how evil these spirits are. What I mean is that there is no mayhem, debauchery, destruction, or wickedness that Satan and his cospirits will not do or persuade people to do.

It is these evil spirits who cause or instigate most of the terrible, evil things that happen here on earth. While God and Christ are always in complete control, they do temporarily allow Satan and his evil spirits a certain amount of freedom to influence people for bad and to attempt to draw people away from the right path. In this way God and Jesus allow us to be tested to see which way we will choose to go and whom we will follow. They allow those who permit themselves to be influenced by the evil ones to commit crimes against the innocent as a testament against them and their works.

God also allows bad things to happen to us because of the growth, understanding, and strength we will gain. For example, without misery there would be no compassion. Without pain we would not appreciate joy. I was told that it is very important for us to understand pain and suffering, and this was one of the main reasons we came to earth. While I am not exactly sure of all that this means, I do know that as spirits, before coming to earth, we didn’t understand physical pain.

It is also important to know that we are not alone in our pain or suffering. When we hurt, God and Jesus know what it is like and can feel our pain and help us through it. Spirit persons can feel the pain or joy of other spirits. In a way that I do not completely understand, this is all necessary to provide the balance needed in this life on earth. This needed balance is different on earth than in heaven or the spirit world, but it all works together. There is purpose in everything for learning and developing, especially learning compassion and love.

The evil spirits have an advantage that we do not. Their memories have not been blocked the way ours have, and so they remember the thousands of years we lived together where they knew us very well. They know our weaknesses and try to use them to persuade us to do bad things. They are in torment and suffering because of their evil actions and rebellion against God and are working to make us as miserable as they are.

Evil spirits can have power over many mortal, physical things; however, they are limited in what they are permitted to do. God’s power is always greater than all powers of evil. For the most part, these spirits work by suggesting things into our minds. Not being able to see these spirits as they do their evil works makes it very difficult to fight back. Once they have succeeded in getting someone to listen to them, they can influence individuals to do terrible things, often against good people, and thereby cause as much pain, suffering, and misery as they can. The way we can combat this process is to learn to choose right. God will always influence us to choose the right, and as we pray and do what we know is right, it strengthens us against evil.

There are many evil spirits here on earth. They are all around us and have the ability to roam where they will in this world. Again, they can’t really harm us unless we give them power to do so by making bad choices. Often we can feel the presence or influence of these evil spirits. Their primary attitude is one of hate, anger, or depression, and so if we let ourselves go and become uncontrollably angry or depressed we can be fairly sure of their presence and attempts to influence us for bad. Many of the depressed people on the earth today are under the influence of Satan and his evil spirits. Their desire is to cause us to feel downhearted and despondent and to believe that our situation is completely hopeless and beyond our power to change or control.

To counter the influence of those evil spirits there are also a lot of good spirits around us who whisper to our minds warnings of danger of a physical or spiritual nature and generally encourage us to do good, positive things. Usually these good spirits around us are loved ones, family members who have either passed away or who have not yet come to earth. They love us and are constantly looking after us. One of the ways these good spirits communicate with us is through dreams. Often they speak peace and bring hope to our hearts.

Unfortunately, evil spirits can also use dreams as a means of communication. Most nightmares are actually caused or influenced by evil spirits. For this reason it is extremely important to pray at night and ask God to keep us safe from evil. If we fail to ask him for his protection or help it will not be there for us, as God will not force anything upon us. Force comes from Satan while God invites and encourages us to choose him. Some of the good spirits have had special powers given to them to control the evil spirits so they cannot go beyond their bounds and also to protect us from crossing over before our time. We call these spirts guardian angels.

I once heard of a group of children in Wyoming who were taken hostage in a school by a madman. The man had a bomb with him that went off, killing him and his companion, but all of the children escaped, which was a miracle. Several of the children later told stories of people dressed in white who had appeared to them and told them where to stand and what to do, preparing them for the explosion. Some of the children actually identified deceased relatives from photographs as the people who helped them in their time of need. This is just one of the examples of how things are done on the other side. There have been questions about angels attending whose who suffered in the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center. I am sure this happened and that angels, including departed loved ones, were with them during the ordeal and as they crossed over.

We are always given a choice between good and evil. As I said earlier, it is like a law that has to be obeyed here. That is why evil will have its opportunity to become very powerful in the near future. It is all part of the balance.

God often works in very different ways than what we may think he should. As an example, I like to think of Moses in Egypt. To our mortal minds, it would have been so simple for God to make Moses the Pharaoh, ruler of all Egypt. That way Moses could have easily released the children of Israel from slavery. However, instead of the simple way, God set up a confrontation between Moses and another Pharaoh. It was a tremendous battle between good and evil, with plagues and destruction. God accomplished his will in this way so that the people would see the difference between God’s way, that of good, and Satan’s evil way as shown through Pharaoh. The people learned to trust God and to better follow his prophet. Even with the many miracles they saw, however, the children of Israel still had a difficult time being obedient.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FORGIVENESS

Another very important thing I learned, mostly when I visited my father in spirit hell, was the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential. The people in hell will not be able to leave that terrible place and progress until the people they have hurt forgive them. It is not enough that they suffer the pain of the hurt they inflicted upon others or have a change in their hearts so they no longer desire to hurt others. They must receive the forgiveness of the people they have injured.

We need to understand this responsibility we have in the forgiveness process. There is a connection between people who have hurt others and those who have been hurt. The way to break that connection is for the injured person to forgive. We must forgive those who have injured us emotionally or physically to free ourselves from that connection and to make ourselves acceptable to Jesus. Without forgiveness, both the person who inflicted the pain and the person who received it will be bound, dragged down in a spiritual sense, and unable to progress.

DEJA VU

As I mentioned before, I learned that before we came to earth we lived as spirits. We lived together for a very long time and learned and grew in that environment. I am not sure of all that we learned, but I know that love, kindness, and concern for others were stressed. Self-control was another of the important concepts that we were taught before we came to the earth.

When it came time for us to come to earth, we were given the choice, once again, to come to earth and live as mortals or to remain in the spirit world. No one was ever forced to do anything; it was all a matter of choice. After our choice was made to come to earth, we formed groups and were organized with those spirits we wanted to have as a part of our earthly families. Usually we chose to be with those spirits to whom we were closest, the spirit friends we loved the most and from whom we could learn the most.

As we were given the final choice of coming to the earth or not, we were shown some of what our life on earth would be like. It was like small glimpses into our future life. Somehow God could look into the future and tell us what would happen to us. He was able, to a great degree, to show us some of the joys, some of the suffering, and some of the challenges we would face. Even with that we were still excited for the opportunity to come to earth.

Our circumstances differ with the families we come into, the time when we are born, and so on. All this was measured for our good. Almost all of us chose to come to earth because we knew the experience as mortals was the fastest and easiest way to learn. God even showed us some of the bad or unhappy things that would happen in our lives so that our decision to be born into earth life would be a choice based on complete understanding of what lay ahead.

I understood that I had been shown how terrible and painful my life would be, and I had chosen to come anyway. As a spirit I understood that the greater the trials, the greater the growth and learning would be. So large, painful problems looked like exciting challenges that we would surely be able to overcome. Of course the actual experiences here on earth seem much harder than they looked on our “preview screen.” Seeing a movie where someone is hurt or in pain is very different from actually feeling the pain.

Deja vu is simply our fragmented memories of those preview scenes that were shown to us. That is why we sometimes know exactly what someone is going to say, or we have the sense that we have been in this same place before—because we have seen it before.

REINCARNATION

Reincarnation also has to do with the life we had before we came to earth and the fact that everything we experience is recorded in our “spiritual DNA.” I often use the term spiritual DNA as a label for how and where it is recorded in our spirit selves because I do not know how else to describe this remarkable process of complete recording.

As I have mentioned, before we came to earth we had formed close relationships, friendships with each other as spirits. We wanted to continue our friendships and come to earth at the same time so we could remain together. Occasionally, however, this was not always possible, and a loved one came to earth ahead of us. When this happened, we could at times receive permission to accompany them to earth as a guardian angel to them. In this way we were able to be with them and assist them throughout their lives. We could also then closely observe the experiences of their mortal lives and gain a better idea of what earth life would be like for us in the future.

I have an example that I use often to help explain how this works. Suppose one of my very closest friends in the spirit world came to earth 100 years before I did, and I received permission to come and be one of her guardian angels. I was constantly by her side, heard what she heard, experienced her experiences, and to a small degree felt what she felt. In a way I was living her life with her. I was present at her birth and saw her as a little girl when she fell out of a tree and broke her leg. I was there with her when she married her sweetheart and watched with her as he went off to the civil war. I was by her side as she nursed him back to health after he had been wounded and watched with love and compassion as she buried him and a baby at the same time.

A hundred years later I am living on the earth having my own experiences, and by coincidence one day I visit a house in the South, the very house that my dear friend lived in. The house seems familiar, and I can tell bits and pieces about the lady who lived in that house. I am able to tell about her birth, family, husband, and events of her life. I can tell so much that I have the feeling that I might have actually been her, and that I had lived before, and now have been reincarnated in my present life. In actuality, I am only remembering my friend’s life’s events because I had been by her side experiencing them as a spirit. We only get one chance at living in mortality.

Again, there is no such thing as reincarnation. It is the simple remembering of shared experiences of someone else’s life that have been recorded on our spiritual DNA.

INSECTS AND ANIMALS

There were no insects in the spirit world that I visited. It was my understanding that when they cross over they go to an entirely different place prepared just for them, a sort of spirit world for insects. Most of the animals are the same. They also go to a place where they can be happy and be with their own kind. The exceptions are those animals that would be happiest living with a person who loves them. We will be able to enjoy the company of our pets that we loved and had stewardship over while we were on the earth.

PEOPLE WHO ARE MURDERED

I asked a question about people who are murdered and experience terrible pain. I wondered what happened to those who suffer before they die? The answer was comforting. Often, especially in the case of children, the spirit leaves the body before much of the pain occurs so that they do not feel it. Somehow, with his infinite love, God has made provisions so that the body will still appear alive, but the person or spirit does not inhabit it any longer and is spared much of the torment and pain. I do not have any idea how this is done, but this was my answer.

MENTALLY HANDICAPPED PEOPLE

I learned that those people who are born mentally handicapped, like children with Downs Syndrome, knew they were going to be born with that challenge and chose to come anyway. Children born with those challenges are very special spirits, full of tremendous love already. They are some of the very best and most noble spirits. They come to earth primarily to help others learn how to love and give service. In reality, it is a great blessing to have one of these children born into your home if they are welcomed and cared for with love and gratitude.

OTHER ABILITIES OF SPIRIT BODIES

There are many abilities of the spirit body that I became aware of. Spirit bodies have the ability to travel into the past and actually see, hear, and experience things that have already happened. They do not, however, have the power to change or influence outcomes. They are merely in a position of observation. I found that there are many dimensions, and spirits can easily travel between them. The future is like another dimension, and occasionally spirits are permitted to travel there. Spirits are also able to travel to different worlds and planets if they desire, and it all happens at the speed of a thought. I was impressed that the spirit world is actually occupying the same space as the earth but in a different dimension. That is why family members know much of what is going on in our lives and are concerned with our progress or lack thereof.

I have been asked several times if I had any information about life on planets other than earth. The answer is that there are many planets in the universe that are inhabited, but we need not be concerned with what is going on elsewhere.

MUSIC, DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL

Music, as many people are already aware, has a powerful effect upon the spirit. Music does have power of influence for good or evil in varying degrees, a kind of spirit of its own. It can encourage us to be better people and motivate us to help others, or it can do just the opposite and stimulate us to do evil and turn away from God. Evil music can attract evil spirits and in a way gives them more power over us so that we can be influenced more easily to do acts of evil. When I became so depressed that I committed suicide, I had played music over and over again that had an evil effect upon me and helped surround me with evil spirits. The music weakened my spiritual stamina, so to speak, and gave the evil around me greater influence to cause me to become more and more depressed and susceptible to their whisperings.

Drugs and alcohol are some of the most powerful tools of the evil ones. One of the goals of the evil spirits is to take control of our bodies, since they have none of their own. This allows them to really feel the senses, pleasures, and pain that otherwise they cannot. Let me try to explain.

Before a spirit comes to earth, they cannot feel senses very well. Once a spirit has been joined to a physical, mortal body, its senses are much stronger. After death, when the body goes back to being dust and the spirit crosses over into the spirit world, the spirit can feel the senses much better than before it came to earth. However, it still misses the physical part of the body. I was told that later on, the spirit and a new, glorious body will be joined together. This is called the resurrection and happens after a period of time in the spirit world. It is at this point that a person is assigned to one of the kingdoms of glory that lie beyond the spirit world.

When an evil spirit enters a human physical body, we call it a “possession.” It happens much more frequently than we realize. Possessions can be very mild or extend to complete control. All of us have a natural resistance to such a possession so that evil spirits cannot enter into us; however, when we partake of mind-altering drugs and alcohol, this resistance is lowered. It can happen with the first drink. A hole opens up at the crown of the head that actually allows an opening for the evil spirit to enter us. Once inside, they have a greater power over us and can influence our behavior to a great degree. This is why Satan and his evil spirits encourage the use of alcohol and drugs. It is also why so many heinous crimes are committed under the influence of these substances. We should never take them into our bodies. We will be held responsible for the acts we commit while under their influence.

The use of prayer, good music, and other uplifting things can increase our resistance to evil spirits and actually drive them away.

SPIRITUALISM, WITCHCRAFT, AND SORCERY

Along with the understanding about evil spirits and how they had been involved in influencing my suicide (empowered by many of the poor choices I had made), I understood that there are people on earth who encourage and help evil spirits turn others away from God and commit evil acts. Spiritualism, witchcraft, sorcery, Ouija boards, and so on, are all ways that encourage and assist evil spirits. People who engage in these types of behaviors are easily influenced by evil spirits.

People who “channel” spirits are always taken over or possessed by evil spirits, often pretending to be someone’s dearly departed relative or friend. They can do this easily because they have seen our lives and so know what has happened and what to say to convince unsuspecting victims. Those evil spirits also enjoy pretending to be higher beings or aliens from another world. They will do anything to get people to listen to and believe them. They are willing to tell many truths to lure people away from God and believe in them, slipping in the lie that will clinch their control at the most vulnerable, critical moment.

GOOD WINS IN THE END BECAUSE GOD IS IN CONTROL

Though we will very soon go through some terrible times, good will eventually triumph over evil. Evil must have its “day,” so to speak, even though I am not sure exactly why, except it has something to do with the balance that must exist here on earth. Though it may not seem so at all times in today’s world, God is always in control.

Jesus Christ will return to the earth and reward the good people with tremendous blessings, including his presence once again upon the earth. It will be a wonderful time, very similar to what it is like in the spirit world. During this time, evil will not be able to have any effect upon us. Through some process, the evil spirits will not be able to influence those who remain. This wonderful time of peace and happiness is not very far off, and I believe that many of us now living will make it through the bad times that lie ahead to experience the joyous times that follow.

There Is No Death

Chapter 7 - Commonly Asked Questions and Answers

The following questions and replies are taken from transcripts of several different presentations that Sarah has made over the last five years. Though in no specific order, they are listed as Q1, Q2, etc. Occasionally there are follow-up questions as well. In that case they are listed as Q1a and Q1b.

Q1a: YOU SAY BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO US ARE REALLY FOR OUR GOOD AND ALMOST NOTHING HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT?

Almost everything that happens to us in our lives, including every person that we meet, is part of the plan. Very little of it is by accident. Our lives and the circumstances surrounding our lives—all are part of a huge plan which we are a part of. What we do when those things happen to us is up to us, and so the choices we make have a great deal to do with it as well. But there are forces working hard to arrange circumstances for us and then influence our decisions in responding to them. Both good and evil spirits pull strings in our lives to make things happen. Do you think you could travel down all of these paths throughout your life and by coincidence run into just the right person at just the right time, in just the right place, without some help? God arranges things so everything that happens to us can work for our benefit, if we allow it to.

The terrible experiences of my life have allowed me to help hundreds of people who are going through similar experiences. I do not ever look at any experience in my life and think of it as horrible anymore. The Lord does not allow us these experiences as punishments, not even necessarily as trials. Again, things will happen to us as natural consequences and He then will orchestrate things to help us learn and benefit from them and overcome them.

Q1b: SO YOU ARE SAYING THAT GOD DOESN’T CAUSE BAD THINGS AS A TEST FOR US? HE DID NOT CAUSE HITLER TO KILL PEOPLE?

No, God did not cause those terrible things to happen. God does not work that way. However, certain things are allowed to happen, often things that come as a natural consequence of something we have done or some choice we have made. Also, there are a lot of things that just happen to us that we have no control over at all, they just happen.

Before I attempted suicide I could not believe there was a God or anyone in heaven that could love me and still allow me to go through the terrible things I had gone through. Now I look at it just the other way around. I can now talk to people who are ill, in despair or sorrow, or who have broken marriages, and I can feel sympathy for them in their situation and say something that will lift or elevate that person. I know that if I had not had those experiences I not only would not have had understanding or empathy for them, I would not have had the words to speak to them.

Now I look at some things that have happened recently in my life that have really hurt me. I have shed plenty of tears and prayed probably more than I have in my entire life for someone I love very much, and yet I know that there is a purpose in what I am going through and I continue to learn from these “unfriendly experiences.” I know that the Savior is in total control, even at this trying time in my life.

Q2: IF THERE ARE NO INSECTS IN THE SPIRIT WORLD WHY DO WE HAVE THEM HERE?

They are here because insects give balance to nature, they serve a purpose in the form of plagues, and they serve a purpose in pestering mankind. There is a balance in mortal nature that they do not have or need in the spirit world because it is not necessary there. Insects also have intelligence, but they are creatures of a lower intelligence, serving a lower purpose.

Q3a: DID YOU SEE OR LEARN ANYTHING WITH REGARD TO THE MARK OF THE BEAST OR THE EVIL KINGDOM THAT IS TALKED ABOUT IN THE BIBLE?

I learned a little about the mark of the beast, not because I asked questions directly concerning it, but in order to understand why some of the things were happening and going to happen on the earth, it was explained to me. There is an evil kingdom here on earth that is directed by Satan. There are people on earth who serve Satan, just like there are people on earth who serve God and Jesus. Some serve Satan knowing who they serve and are pure evil; others serve Satan’s purposes not understanding who it is exactly they are serving.

Most of the work of this evil kingdom is done in secret, in darkness, by people who plot together to force everyone in the world to serve them and their master, Satan. There are so many now serving Satan instead of God; it is like there are armies all over the world working toward this goal. They have been at it for a long time and are getting close to success. That will be the time when darkness, chaos, terror, and evil will reign supreme for a short period of time.

Q3b: EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEAN BY THIS SATANIC GOAL OF WORLD CONQUEST.

The whole plan has been plotted out by this secret society of Satan’s followers as they have listened to his whisperings. Those armies of evil people who are on this earth have for some time plotted towards a one-world government and a one-world religion, including the mark of the beast, that will force everyone away from God so they will serve Satan instead. Only a very few people will refuse to do this.

Most people believe that there will be some sort of literal mark of the beast, the implant in the hand or on the forehead. That is true, though I did not see it. But besides the physical mark, I think what people are going to come to realize is that we already have the spiritual mark of the beast upon us and people are already part of Babylon and living as part of the kingdom of the beast. I think the spiritual mark in the hand represents the selfishness, the greed as we reach out and take everything that the world has to offer. This is done in various ways, both overtly and subtly.

People serve Satan’s kingdom, or the kingdom of the beast, by acts of sex outside of marriage; by drug and alcohol use which supports a culture that promotes prostitution, murder, thievery, lying, rape, and every other evil practice; by women wearing revealing clothes, or hardly any clothes at all—the same type of fashion that follows the pattern that Satan has used to destroy morality since the time of Adam. Sodom and Gomorrah is the best-known example of this process, but I learned that every time a society has been destroyed, you will find the same fashion, or lack of it.

We serve Satan by having and supporting abortion, which is a selfish, Satan-inspired act that destroys the sacred role of motherhood. We also serve Satan by producing and listening to vulgar and violent music and by watching sexual or violent movies. These are in a way recruiting tools of Satan, and people who listen to and watch them invite evil spirits into their lives and give these evil spirits power over themselves.

I think the mark of the beast in the forehead, in a spiritual way, is thinking in the ways of Babylon, thinking of the material things: wants, beauty, vanity, and selfishness. It does not mean they have to put a chip in your forehead to make the prophecy fulfilled. For most of us, the spiritual part of it has already come to pass. We are already part of Babylon and the mark of the beast when we get more credit cards and go into more debt for selfish reasons. We want, we want, we want more. We want the most expensive car. We want a huge house. It is all for personal selfishness. It is all directed at self-gratification. It is primarily a selfish attitude, which is just the opposite of what we should be doing by using our means to help others.

Q4: DO WE AS SPIRITS EVER GET TO COME BACK TO EARTH AFTER WE DIE?

Oh, yes. For example, everyone is allowed to come back for his or her own funeral. People can come back for special occasions, like seeing their son or daughter getting married or some other important event. It would be possible to be assigned as a guardian angel or a guiding angel for a relative and so spend a lot of time on earth. But good people who die are busy doing things in the spirit world and so do not have time to waste without purpose.

My guess is that about 90 percent of the time our loved ones who have crossed over visit us in our dreams or during our alpha awareness state when we are more easily susceptible to spiritual things. They whisper and tell us things, encourage us, and give us ideas during this time. Unfortunately this works both ways and evil spirits also try to use this sleep state. When they do this they often cause terrible dreams or nightmares. It isn’t just a little child’s prayer to ask Heavenly Father to watch over us during the night and keep our souls safe. It should be part of our prayer every night as well. I learned that there is real power in prayer and God hears every one of them that is sincere, though often he answers them in ways we do not expect, or in his own time.

Q5: ARE THERE SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS?

Yes, there are. Sometimes a person dies and they do not realize it. I didn’t for a while, even while I was looking at my body. Some refuse to recognize that they have died. They are free to wander as spirits as long as they want to, perhaps visiting places where they used to live. But most of the time, especially if the person has been good on earth, they are met by a loved one and guided to some place in the spirit world.

Q6: WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE SO MANY TALENTS WHILE OTHERS HAVE SO FEW?

It has a lot to do with what they did during their premortal life and a little concerning what trials they will undergo here in mortal life. A person can also develop new talents if they have the desire to search them out and discover them. Those with great gifts or talents will have tremendous trials and difficulties to overcome. Talents like music, painting, athletics, intelligence, wisdom, charisma, and leadership are some of those gifts. A lot of their tests will be to see how they use their great talents. Will they use them to help elevate others or will they use them for selfishness and the destruction of others?

It is usually very easy to pick out these great spirits: Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, the Dahli Lama, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and others. Others that you might not think about like a favorite of mine, Oprah Winfrey, are not as apparent. She has overcome tremendous difficulties in her life and uses her talents and means to help and elevate others, especially women.

Of course there are those who have great talents who have used them for evil purposes. Everyone thinks of people like Hitler, Stalin, and Saddam Hussein. But others like Hugh Hefner, who has used his talents destroying people and fostering Satan’s evil kingdom, are almost as bad. Unfortunately there are a lot of very talented actors, actresses, and musicians, both male and female, who promote Satan’s kingdom by their lewd dress and actions. There will be a very heavy price to pay for such evil and selfish actions.

Q7: IS THERE A WAY TO AVOID THE TERRIBLE THINGS YOU SAW—THE PLAGUES AND DESTRUCTION?

Yes. We can easily avoid everything I saw; it is not written in stone. It is actually very simple—come back to God! Keep God’s commandments like we used to do. This country was founded on the principle of serving God and his beloved son Jesus Christ and keeping their commandments, which are outlined in the Bible. As long as the people in this country kept the commandments they were blessed. But when they didn’t keep the commandments they had problems.

I know that the reason we are going to have these terrible things happen to the people in this country is primarily because the majority of them have forsaken God. They are more interested in making money, having fun, and in pleasing themselves than in helping each other. They don’t mind hurting or cheating others to get ahead either. It seems that they do everything they can to forget God and push him away. When we do that, there are going to be consequences. God will withdraw his protection and blessings from the people.

This allows Satan and his people to have more power. They are turning, and have turned, many people away from God to do what Satan wants them to do. They have wanted to take control of the people in the world for a long, long time and have been planning and working toward that from the beginning. They succeeded with the people during Noah’s time, and they are succeeding with most of the people now. I know that a large part of our society is as wicked now as it was during the time of Noah and Sodom and Gomorrah just before they were destroyed. If we want to change what is going to happen, then we need to change our actions and our attitudes. And we need to do it very quickly.

Q8: DID YOU SEE ANYTHING ABOUT THE RAPTURE?

Well, yes and no. I didn’t actually see the rapture take place, but I know that it happened after the time of chaos and destruction, but before the final, complete destruction of the wicked by the huge ball of fire. The people, who were in the cities of light, were the very people who would be taken up during the rapture. They were the ones who continued to keep the commandments of God, who still worshiped Jesus and wouldn’t deny him. There were people from many religions there, not just Christians, but those who were good and kind to others. That is why the Holy Spirit protected them and guided them to gather to the cities of light for protection. Those good people were on the earth for most of the chaos and destruction, though they didn’t suffer the way the wicked did. I knew that God was protecting them from most of the devastations around them, but what they had to endure was still very difficult.

Q9: HOW SOON DO YOU THINK THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT THE BUILDINGS FALLING IN NEW YORK?

I have been talking about the buildings falling down in New York for over eight years, ever since I felt I needed to tell my story to more people. Three years ago, I even did a four-hour interview with a local TV reporter during which I talked about the buildings falling, though they didn’t use that in the broadcast of the interview.

How soon do I think the next part will happen? I think it will happen very soon. When I saw the World Trade Center towers fall on September 11th, 2001, I knew that was part of what I had seen in my experience. That was the first event that I saw—the event that started everything. The next thing I understood was that event would be followed by hard economic times and then the biological attacks on the four cities.

Obviously we can see that the country is in a recession now, headed for a depression, or in other words, hard economic times. I am surprised that the biological attacks haven’t happened yet. I expect them at any time and then things will get bad very quickly. It could happen this year, next year, or possibly later, but I would guess it will be sooner than later.

Q10: ARE THERE SOME PLACES SAFER THAN OTHER PLACES?

Well, I moved from Los Angeles and out of California. Los Angeles is going to be hit pretty hard with a lot of things. But Los Angeles has a lot of bad memories for me anyway and that is a big part of why I moved. As far as places or states that are generally safer than others, there really aren’t any. I mean the whole country of America, and around the world is going to be affected by what is coming. But I believe North America will be affected the most. I would move away from the coasts and away from volcanoes, though there will be new volcanoes popping up where there haven’t been any.

I saw major devastations take place in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Salt Lake City. However, most every city will be hit with some devastation. The center of the United States, somewhere near Kansas City and St. Louis I think, will be particularly hard hit as well, with nuclear bombs and a tremendous earthquake. In my vision the earthquake sunk all of the land along the Mississippi River from the Great Lakes to the Gulf of Mexico so that it was all under water. That would not be a good place to be when that happens.

Common sense tells us that if things get bad, such as the electricity gets shut down for whatever reason, it would not be wise to be in a big city like Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, or places like that. I would love to have a little house out in the country or some place where I could have a little garden and be away from the mainstream. Right now I live in a large city, but I am working on moving away to a much smaller town. But even the small towns will eventually be affected by what I saw. The only safe places I saw were the cities of light that were scattered across the country. When things go bad, if you are close enough to the Lord, he will direct you to one of these gathering places.

Q11: HOW CAN WE PREPARE FOR WHAT IS COMING?

Well, there will be a time, perhaps three or four years long, when there won’t be any food at all, no electricity, or anything. For part of the time it will be so dark that it will even be hard to grow any food in a garden. I have a fourteen-year supply of food for my son and me in my garage. I have that amount because I believe that there will be those who will need help, and so I am preparing to help some of them. I live on $800 per month disability, so if I can do it, anyone can do it.

I have run into a lot of people, some religious and some not, who have felt very strongly about putting food and other supplies away like winter clothing in case of a long-term emergency. Y2K and September 11th helped people realize how fragile our society is and how easily it could be disrupted. The good thing about Y2K was that for the first time a lot of people thought about what would happen if the electricity did go off for a long period of time. I never felt that Y2K would bring about the conditions I saw, but now with September 11th just recently and the threat of more things like it, people realize that anything could happen at any time without warning and could shut down the electricity and our society as we know it.

This is what I saw happen. The four cities I saw hit were hit with disease that resulted from a biological attack by terrorists. Our government and everyone tells us that this could happen at any time. I know it will happen and it will happen sometime soon. My advice for people is to get food, water, winter clothing, hiking shoes, etc., and the means to protect themselves against the marauding gangs that will go around killing people. It might be good to have like-minded friends who have prepared so that we could all gather together to help protect each other. There is safety in numbers.

I must say something else. The best preparation we can make is not with food, water, and other material things, though that is very important. The most important preparation is spiritual preparation. Keeping the Ten Commandment is very important. Not enough people in America or in the world do that anymore, and I believe that is why evil is becoming so strong and will have its day.

I learned that there will be special protection given to those people who faithfully keep the Sabbath day truly special and holy. It is a day for worshiping God and serving others and not for sports, entertainment, or work. Being kind to others, forgiving those who hurt you, reading God’s word, visiting the sick, and praying are very important too in spiritual preparation. I can promise you that it won’t matter if you have tons of food and a whole army with you, if you are not doing the spiritual things to serve God, then you will not be protected.

Q12: DID YOU EVER FIND OUT WHO THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WAS THAT YOU SAW?

Yes, and thanks for asking. A few years later we were going through some old photographs that I had never seen before. As we were going through them I saw a picture of my grandmother, Sarah, who died when I was a little baby. I had never met her. When I saw the photograph I immediately recognized her as the beautiful lady in the spirit world who sent me back. I then learned all I could about her and even started using her name, Sarah, as my own to help me remember her.

Q13: WILL WE LOOK THE SAME IN THE SPIRIT WORLD AS WE DO HERE?

Yes and no. We will be recognizable there, though this will come a lot from our countenances, from the light coming from us. Our features will generally be the same, similar to what we look like now, only there won’t be any flaws. There will be no weight problems, no skin problems, or any type of physical defect. Also, spirit beings and angels do not have wings.

Q14: WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAD THIS EXPERIENCE?

To tell you the truth, I am not sure why. I don’t think of myself as someone special, actually just the opposite. I think of myself as very ordinary.

Personally, my experience changed me and turned my life around, especially concerning the hate and anger for my father that was consuming and destroying me. For the first twelve years or so after my experience, I thought that the experience was just for me. I shared it with a few people, but not very many, and it was almost always one person at a time.

After I had the kidney failure and nearly crossed over again eight years ago, I felt strongly that I needed to share my experience with many others. I then started sharing my experience with large groups of people. Even after doing that, I felt that it was not enough, and so I have been trying to write it down into a book for many years. Hopefully in the near future it will get published.

I think the reason that I remember so much, in fact I think I remember almost everything that happened, is so that I can share my experience and its message with the world and perhaps help someone. I am not a prophetess or a psychic. I am just a simple person who had a remarkable experience. When I had the experience I didn’t believe that there was a God. Now I know there is. Without exception when I share my experience, I have people tell me afterwards that I have answered important questions they have been struggling with or helped change their life in a positive direction. I am beginning to understand that this is perhaps the reason I had my experience. My hope would be that I can encourage a few more people to draw closer to their Father in Heaven and have a better understanding of the purpose of life.

FINAL NOTE:

LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE EVENTS OF THE LAST DAYS AND HOW TO PREPARE FOR THEM

There are many excellent resources to help in understanding the prophecies and events of the last days and how to prepare for what is coming. There are some recommended books and web links on the www.thereisnodeath.com web site. There are also instructions on how to send e-mail to Sarah and to see her speaking schedule.