Seed of Discord

(Part 3: Snow Series)

Marita L. Kinney

Contents

Copyright© 2013 by Marita Kinney.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Conclusion

About the Author

More Book by Marita

Copyright © 2013 by Marita Kinney.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior

written permission of the publishers, except by a reviewer who may quote

brief passages in a review to be printed in a newspaper, magazine or journal.

All Scripture quotation, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV.  Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.  Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.

ISBN-13: 978-1484944745

ISBN-10: 1484944747

All rights reserved.

Chapter 1

The Engagement

As tears slowly filled her eyes, the clear view of her engagement ring blurred. Savannah blinked and her tears instantly filled the corners of her eyes. They raced down her checks and fell upon the five-karat diamond ring that Calvin placed upon her finger. As he continued to wait on one knee for her reply, he caressed her ring finger to reassure her of his genuine proposal.

Savannah looked away from the spectacular ring at Calvin. Her lips trembled and her nervousness scattered throughout her body without any place to escape. She sat up courageously and silenced her thoughts of not feeling good enough for Calvin. As she glanced at her ring, she rolled her eyes at her insecurities, looked back into Calvin’s eyes, and accepted his proposal. The newly engaged couple hugged passionately and kissed. Without saying anything, they understood that getting to the altar was going to be another story.

Calvin Snow was the most desirable man in his church’s congregation and his community. The ruthless, desperate women at the church were not going to sit back and watch him get married. He was the young and accomplished pastor’s son—and the women flocked around him after his late wife Katrina was killed in a car accident.

The Snows were well respected and every single woman wanted to be part of their family. Even some of the married women admired Calvin and Pastor Snow from afar. Savannah had already experienced some drama after being in a relationship with Calvin during one of her occasional visits to his church.

Pastor Snow had zero tolerance for the cattiness of these jealous women and publicly confronted their rude behavior from the pulpit one Sunday morning. These women couldn’t stand Savannah and frowned upon her being a single mother.

Savannah was a strong, down-to-earth woman, and that’s what Calvin admired most about her. She wasn’t churchy and deep, using only church lingo when she spoke. Calvin knew without a shadow of a doubt that Savannah loved him for who he was, not because of his family’s reputation, his money, or his social status. Calvin was convinced that he had found a diamond in the rough and her two boys were heaven sent.

“Savannah, are you ready to become Mrs. Snow? You accepted my ring, now you’re stuck with me,” Calvin said, jokingly.

“I’m not stuck with you. Let’s get to the ‘I do’s’ first, Mr. Snow. I can still run if I find out that you’re crazy,” Savannah suggested as she laughed.

“Can you handle the heat from the wrath of being with me? Because these women are evil and I don’t ever want you to feel intimidated or threaten,” Calvin added.

“You’re marrying a strong woman, Mr. Snow, and no one is going to push me out of the way, and I’m confident in knowing that you’re all mine,” replied Savannah, as she moved in slowly for a passionate kiss. She instantly imagined them making love, then reminded herself of the promise to herself and God. Savannah wanted to do things the right way and didn’t want to become intimate with Calvin until they were married.

“Well, Honey, are you ready to go?” asked Calvin as he helped Savannah up from the checkered red-and-white country-style picnic blanket.

“Yes, I’m ready,” replied Savannah, and then she began to laugh hysterically.

“What’s so funny?” asked Calvin.

“You’re too perfect, Calvin. Where in the world did you find a real picnic blanket?” asked Savannah as she continued to laugh.

“You’re worth it, Savannah. Did you happen to notice our initials embroidered on it?”

“Calvin, are you serious? No way! You sure know how to make a woman feel special,” exclaimed Savannah, as she knelt to feel the embroidery.

Calvin continued to gather the remaining picnic items and insisted that Savannah relax and watch him serve her. Savannah watched and waited patiently as she held her red-soled, sling-back heels. Calvin enjoyed spoiling Savannah and she enjoyed treating him as the king. The couple was invincible, and they were ready to show the world how much they were in love.

“Okay, Baby Girl, that’s everything. Are you ready to head over to the church for evening service?” asked Calvin with some hesitation.

Savannah chuckled and then sighed. “I’m ready to go into the Lion’s Den,” as she dreaded the attention she’d soon get from being engaged to Calvin.

Calvin wrapped his arms around Savannah, and she gently relaxed on his broad shoulder with her face only inches away from his chocolate-brown neck as she found comfort from the scent of his Thallium cologne that danced around her nose. The couple embraced tightly as if they knew they were about to enter into a war zone and needed their love to keep them grounded. Without any words being exchanged, they released their hug. Calvin opened Savannah’s car door while admiring how she gracefully entered. Savannah smiled to hide her anxiety, but Calvin wasn’t fooled.

They arrived at the church and the parking lot was packed. Calvin hated whenever he was late to church because finding a place to park was like finding a needle in the hay stack. Savannah didn’t mind being late. She knew that when she arrived late, she and Calvin demanded the attention of everyone and the congregation had no choice but to realize that they had arrived together. The women of the church would act so naive and pretend not to put two and two together.

Calvin was an extremely private person and felt no need to announce that he was seeing someone. Savannah respected his privacy but found herself feeling like he was hiding her and their relationship. Calvin was aware of her concerns and reassured her that no one at the church was important enough to know about their relationship. His parents knew about Savannah and loved the idea of them becoming a couple. Pastor and Lady Snow also accepted that Savannah had two boys—Luke and Isaac. They treated her boys like instant grandchildren. Lady Snow favored almost any child in the church and her being attached to Luke and Isaac didn’t prove that Calvin was seeing Savannah.

“Okay, Love, we’re here,” giggled Calvin as he put the car in park and took the key out of the ignition.

“Yay,” replied Savannah sarcastically.

“Baby, I know that you have been patient with me and have blamed me for the way these women here have treated you. I believe that they have mistreated you simply because they were unaware of our relationship. They probably thought that you were some obsessed woman and they were just being overly protective,” stated Calvin as he laughed.

“Obsessed? Yeah, okay, obsessed. You were in love with me from day one—remember that Mr. Snow—well, at least that’s what you told me,” remarked Savannah as she looked at Calvin innocently.

“You’re all the way right, Mrs. Snow. I cannot argue with the truth and neither will my father’s congregation. I’m in love and I’m going to marry you and I don’t care who knows about it. My father is the pastor, not me. They’re not going to ruin my life and I could care less what they may feel about us being together. I’m not looking for the church’s approval. Savannah, that ends today, because I’m going to announce our engagement to the congregation. No one will ever have to guess or assume about our connection,” expressed Calvin with boldness.

Savannah swallowed in disbelief. She could not believe that Calvin went from keeping their relationship discreet to telling everyone that they were getting married. Things were bad before, but she needed to prepare herself for the wolves for real now.

“Calvin, are you serious? You’re going to tell everyone today?” asked Savannah with concern and reservations.

“Yes, Savannah, I am,” replied Calvin with even more confidence.

“But what about the boys? What about your parents? Calvin, you have to realize that you just cannot make an announcement like without considering that our commitment will be affecting others. We haven’t been together that long and people are going to judge us. What if they think that you were seeing me while you were still married to Katrina? What if your parents reject me? Not only that, but what if Isaac and Luke reject you?”

“Baby Girl, calm down, Mighty Mouse. I’ve considered everything. I knew that you would need to have the support from everyone and I have taken care of your concerns. I sat down with my parents and Luke and Isaac to share my intentions and to ask them for their blessings. Luke and Isaac helped me to plan our picnic today and my parents intentionally asked to keep the boys so that I could propose to you. Savannah, they are waiting for us inside right now to announce our engagement.” Savannah could not believe it. Calvin had planned the whole day and her children as well as his parents knew about it.

Calvin opened the door for Savannah and she blushed as he reached for her hand. The anxiety was great and the pathway leading up to the church doors appeared to be extra scenic. Savannah heard the praise and worship music as she got closer. Calvin swung the church door open and held it gracefully for Savannah. As the two of them walked in, Savannah scanned the congregation for Luke and Isaac right away. They were sitting in the front with Lady Snow and she also noticed two other women on the other side of her boys. Calvin and Savannah took their seats towards the back of the church. All the closer seats were taken and Savannah wasn’t surprised about their tardiness.

After praise and worship ended, Pastor Snow approached the podium and looked directly at Calvin. Without any words being spoken, Calvin nodded his head to confirm the engagement.

“At this time, I’d like to have my son Calvin and Sister Savannah to join me. God is good and I have been blessed to watch my son mature and grow spiritually. Lady Snow, can you also join me up here?” asked Pastor Snow as he waited for Calvin and Savannah to arrive at the pulpit.

“I’ll now pass the microphone to Brother Calvin. Please help me welcome him with a hand clap,” Pastor Snow handed Calvin the microphone.

“Praise the Lord, church! I’m not going to be before you very long, but I wanted to invite you to celebrate with me. Today, I proposed to this amazing woman and she happily accepted my hand in marriage. Luke and Isaac, you have been a blessing to my life and I promise to love you as a father loves a son. Most of you know that I lost my first wife Katrina and our unborn child last year in a car accident and God has been transforming me ever since. God has been faithful and had promised me that he’d restore everything that I’ve lost. I will have a wife and I will have the children that I’ve been praying for,” Calvin became emotional.

The church was shocked and everyone looked towards an attractive woman as she got up and left. Everyone noticed the woman’s disappointment, even Savannah. Savannah became discouraged by the congregation’s response, until she noticed the two women sitting next to Luke and Isaac: LeAnn and Ashton, the two ladies who used to be her neighbors, who she led to Christ, and who she had mentored. Tears welled up in Savannah’s eyes because God had reminded her instantly of the people who were in her corner.

Chapter 2

Help!

“Savannah, I know that we have been putting this off, but I need to address it,” insinuated Calvin.

“Calvin you’re scaring me. Address what?” asked Savannah.

“We haven’t talked about you leaving your church after we get married. Baby, I know how active in ministry you are there, so I wanted to suggest that you start a slow transition now.”

“What do you mean, Calvin? I know that we will have to do something, but it seems as though you have already planned my transition and you’ve taken me to breakfast to fill me in on the details. Is that what you mean, Calvin?” Savannah was furious.

“What’s up with you? Why are you so frustrated with me? I haven’t planned anything. I’m just making a suggestion.”

“What makes you think that I want to join your father’s church? I’m already grounded and I love my church family. Calvin, every time I visit your church the members treat me like a redheaded step-child. I have not done anything. They hate me because I’m not your late wife. They hate me because I’m not Katina. Oh, my bad, or maybe they hate me because you have chosen me over being with one of them. Either way it goes, I don’t feel welcomed there, Calvin.”

“I understand, but what do you want me to do? I want my wife to come with me, that’s all I’m asking,” pleaded Calvin as he tried to redeem himself.

“Calvin, I’m done. I just cannot have this conversation with you right now. Oh yeah, by the way, who was the woman who walked out after you announced our engagement?”

Calvin said nothing and continued to eat his breakfast. Savannah watched him eat as he continued to ignore the question. Silence approached and breakfast remained tense. The only noise that surrounded them was made by Luke and Isaac as they argued over a yellow crayon.

Breakfast was finally over and Calvin was relieved to drop Savannah off at her townhouse. The boys begged to stay with him, but Savannah insisted that they return home with her. Calvin was used to getting a good-bye kiss; however, Savannah didn’t think twice about it as she walked away with an attitude. Calvin drove off discouraged and confused. He didn’t go to his father for advice often but knew that he needed some mature guidance from someone who cared about him and Savannah.

Calvin arrived at the church and was thrilled to see his father’s car in the parking lot. He also noticed the church secretary’s car but was confident that she wouldn’t gossip about anything that she could possibly overhear. Calvin walked into the church office and took a deep breath.

“Good morning, Calvin!”

“Hello and good morning to you, Sister Lisa. Is my father in his office?”

“Now you know that you don’t even have to ask me that. Pastor Snow stay’s in that office,” chuckled Sister Lisa.

Calvin laughed and proceeded towards his father’s office door.

Calvin knocked on the door and prayed that his father was in a good mood. Savannah had already frustrated him and he didn’t want to deal with another person’s attitude. Most pastors take Mondays off to regroup from Sunday services, but not Pastor Snow. He was a workaholic and loved working for the Lord, and if there was nothing to do around the church, he would make up something to do. Pastor Snow was also retired from the military, so he had nothing but time on his hands. A lot like most retirees, he tried to keep himself busy.

“Come in,” instructed Pastor Snow, who was obviously too busy to get up from behind his desk to answer the door.

Calvin walked in and could instantly sense that his father wasn’t in a great mood. He sighed and sat down directly in front of his father, thus demanding his undivided attention.

“Good morning, Dad,” said Calvin with worry slapped across his face.

“Hello, Son, good morning.” What’s up with you? I see that look on your face,” noted Pastor Snow as he stared at Calvin and continued to open his mail.

“What look, Dad?”

“Calvin, don’t come in here playing games with me. Now, I know that you have come to me for a reason and it’s written all over your face. Son, what’s going on? Is it Savannah?”

“Yes, sir. How did you know?”

“Calvin, you just announced your engagement and it didn’t go over well with everyone. Women want everyone to be happy for them and I’m sure that she saw Celeste walk out. Everyone saw that,” pointed out Pastor Snow.

“Dad, Savannah is snapping on me now, as if I’ve done something wrong. She even questioned me about Celeste. I think Savannah may believe that I had something going on with her.”

“Of course she thought that; who wouldn’t? Did you tell her that Celeste was your late-wife’s best friend? Celeste and Katrina were close and I’m sure it’s difficult for her to see you move on and get married Calvin.”

“I agree. I’ll put that on my things to do list. I’ll make sure that I have another uncomfortable conversation with my fiancé…,” laughed Calvin as he tried to make light of the situation.

He was grateful to be able to vent to his father, but it was clear that something else had Pastor’s Snow attention. He was no longer interested in the conversation with Calvin. Pastor Snow frowned his eye brows and cut Calvin off from talking. He boldly put his index finger up in the air and prompted Calvin to remain silent. He then began to search for something on his desk. Whatever it was, it had Pastor Snow in a panic.

“LISA! LISA!”

“Yes, Pastor!” replied the secretary as she ran to the pastor’s immediate assistance.

“How long has this mail been sitting on my desk?”

“Well Pastor, I don’t know. I put it on your desk as it comes in. Is something wrong?”

“I can’t think straight, what’s today’s date?” asked Pastor Snow while he squinted his eyes to look at the postmark date on an envelope that he held in his hand.

Calvin and Sister Lisa looked at each other with total confusion.

“Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord. No Father God, No!” cried Pastor Snow as he fell to his knees and sobbed.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Calvin fell to the ground to comfort his father.

There were no words spoken. Everyone was quiet and continued to helplessly watch their pastor break down.

Twenty minutes had passed and Pastor Snow could finally pull himself together.

“Lisa, please search through our church records and find any and everything that you can about Tara Harris”

Without hesitation, Lisa swiftly left and began her search.

“Calvin, son, something terrible has happened.” Pastor Snow  took a long pause before he preceded.

“I’ll explain everything in just a moment Calvin. Lisa? Have you found those records yet?” yelled Pastor Snow towards the front office in a rage.

“Yes, sir, I’m gathering everything for you right now.”

She stormed into the pastor’s office and hoped to have brought whatever it was that Pastor Snow was in need of. Lisa handed Pastor Snow a file folder with the corresponding records for the name Tara Harris. Pastor Snow grabbed the folder and closed his eyes with disappointment plastered onto his face. He began to look through the file folder.

“She has been a member here for over a year,” Pastor Snow shouted rhetorically throughout the office.

“Pastor, may I ask what it is that you’re looking for?” asked Lisa.

“I needed to know that she was indeed a member here.” replied Pastor Snow in a calm voice while he stared at a spot on the floor without blinking.

“Lisa and Calvin, please excuse me for a few minutes. I need to be left alone. Lisa, please call all of the leaders of the church and tell them that I am calling an emergency meeting tonight at 6 pm. Everyone is to be in attendance, everyone,” urged Pastor Snow as he shut the door behind them as they exited his office. Lisa and Calvin looked at each other even more confused than the first time.

“Sister Lisa, what’s going on?” She looked at Calvin with fear.

“I don’t know, but I guess we’ll find out tonight at six o’clock.” Sister Lisa began to pull out the church’s leadership call roster. Calvin had no reply. He looked down at his watch and realized that he had six hours to spare until the mystery meeting began. It was barely noon and Calvin decided to go to work to get his mind off of Savannah and the church. Although he was worried about his father, he knew that his father could handle church issues extremely well.

“Bye, Sister Lisa, I guess I’ll see you again here shortly,” indicated Calvin as he opened the door to leave the building.

“Okay, Calvin, and don’t you worry about anything, okay?” stated Sister Lisa as she insisted that in her tone.

Finally alone, Pastor Snow pulled the letter out again and began to reread it to make sure that he understood every detail.

Dear Pastor Snow,

My name is Tara Harris and I have been a member of your church for about 18 months. I know you probably don’t know me. Actually, it seems like no one noticed me.

I came to your church because I was broken and had nowhere else to turn to. I heard about you and I hoped that you would take the time to help me, but I guess I was wrong. I never knew that the church could be so cold.

I lost my mother almost two years ago and I have my sister Candice who I don’t have a close relationship with anymore. When our mother died, she went further into the streets and I pray that you will be able to help her before she kills herself too.

I have listed you as the beneficiary to my life insurance policy because I know that you’ll do something great with it. I didn’t leave anything to my sister because she would probably buy a lot of drugs and eventually overdose.

I have enough issues with God and I don’t want her blood on my hands too. I tithe regularly and prayed that you would somehow notice me but you didn’t, nor did the greeters, or the other ministers. I was there but no one could see me.

I have always been too shy to participate in anything, so giving is the only thing that I’ve ever done for the church. I pray that God forgives me. I heard the testimony of your son when he was about to commit suicide. That gave me strength to keep living for a while, but I’m tired of fighting now.

It’s too late to help me, but please help my twin Candice Harris. I could never reach her. I’ve asked her to stop using drugs, to stop stripping, and to start loving herself. Maybe her eyes will finally open up through my death. I pray that you can find her. She needs you and will only have you when I’m gone. Her pain runs deep, but I have faith that you can help her....

Before Pastor Snow could finish reading the rest of the letter, he folded it up and inserted it back inside the envelope with the check for $500,000. Tears were falling onto his desk and his vision became blurry. He could not believe what had happened and was determined to find out if someone had played some awful hoax on him. Pastor Snow picked up the phone and dialed Sister Lisa’s extension.

“Hello, Pastor.”

“Lisa, can you try calling the number listed for Tara Harris?”

“Of course, I’ll call it right now.”

Pastor Snow hung up the phone with Lisa and prayed that Tara would answer the phone when Lisa called. Within less than a minute Lisa had call Pastor Snow back.

“Yes, Lisa, anything?”

“I called and the number was disconnected.”

Pastor Snow slammed the phone down. He took long deep breaths to regain his composure. Then he sat at his computer and began to search the local newspaper online to see if there was actually an obituary for Tara Harris. His computer appeared to take longer than usual to load the page and his anxiety caused him to sweat immensely.

The page finally came up and he slowly began to type Tara Harris into the search field in the obituary section of the site. To his surprise, the page displayed an obituary for Tara Harris. His body became stiff and his skin grew cold as if death had slapped him. Tara Harris had been dead for two weeks and no one from his church even knew that she had existed.

Matthew 18:12-13

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.

Chapter 3

The Meeting

Pastor Snow waited patiently as the phone rang. Just as he was about to hang up the phone, his friend, a fellow pastor, answered.

“Hey there, Brother! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today. I know how busy you can be on Mondays.”

“Hey Pastor Reese, I just needed to talk to someone. I’ve been praying all morning and I just can’t seem to find any peace. One of my members committed suicide and sent me her suicide letter,” Pastor Snow’s voice filled with grief and sorrow.

“What? Sorry to hear that. What can I do to help you through this? I know this must be hard on you, but you’re a great pastor. Are you blaming yourself for this?”

“Absolutely and there’s nothing that you can do but pray for me. What makes it so bad, is that I didn’t know her.”

“I see! Pastor Snow you cannot carry that burden, my brother. You have a large congregation and it’s impossible to know everyone who walks through the doors of that church,” replied Pastor Reese.

“Well then maybe I shouldn’t be a pastor. The woman stated in her letter that she felt invisible and unnoticed by everyone, not just by me but all of the leaders. I’m way off of the mark and God is not pleased with me. I feel like a failure.”

“It’s your job to pastor, not micro manage your members.”

“No, it’s my job to know who is laboring among me and after reading Matthew 18:12-13. What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away…,” Pastor Snow began before Pastor Reese cut him off.

“I know what it says,” replied Pastor Reese with severe frustration.

“No, let me finish. Will he not leave the 99 on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the 99 that did not wander off. Because I left that one sheep, because I forgot about that one sheep.” Pastor Reese said nothing but sighed, as he continued to sit on the phone and listened as Pastor Snow began to weep.

“My brother, you’re right. I’ll be praying for you as well as readjusting some things in my own church. Please call me if you need anything.” Pastor Reese could no longer find any words to offer for comfort.

“Okay, thanks,” exclaimed Pastor Snow, as he glanced at the clock and realized that he had to prepare for the meeting that was scheduled to start within the hour.

Both men hung up and Pastor Snow was disappointed with the conversation that he had with Pastor Reese. Instead of going to another pastor friend for advice and counsel, he was determined to refer solely to the Bible. He began to pray and meditate on Matthew 18:12-13. Soon thereafter, he heard a crowd of ministers as they began to enter into the church. He felt rejuvenated as he stood up from praying. The time had come and he was about to alert the leaders of what had occurred among them. The church was about to be shaken up and Pastor Snow was determined to reevaluate every leader’s role.

Pastor Snow entered the sanctuary and the first person he noticed was Lady Snow who appeared to be upset for being left out of the loop of things. She despised when Pastor Snow treated her like everyone else. He failed to take any of her calls earlier that day, just as he had rejected all of his incoming calls.

Everyone pierced their eyes upon Pastor Snow with severe curiosity. He began to scan the crowd then swallowed his spit, as if he had taken his last drink. Sweat began to gather on his forehead and he could feel the anxiety as it built a home in the pit of his stomach. Without further hesitation, Pastor Snow walked down from the pulpit and stood directly in front of the leaders who sat in the first few rows on the old wooden pews.

“I have called you all here today because I have had a wake-up call. God has shown me an epiphany about where I truly stand as your shepherd and I apologize to all of you if I have ever put my selfish agenda in front of you and serving you. Please don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m a servant and I don’t want anyone treating me or my family like royalty.”

“Jesus is the only King in this house and we all have a mandate to minister to the lost. I suggest that every last one of you conduct a self-evaluation and ask yourself why you are a leader here. If you’re not here to serve than you need to be removed off of the leader’s roaster. It’s not about titles and privileges.”

“For those of you who don’t know, allow me to inform you that a man who has no power needs titles and recognition. However, if you’re truly anointed by God, you don’t need a title because you have the power and the authority to operate as God has called you to do so. I know that you all are probably wondering why an emergency meeting was called and I will address that question in just a moment. First, Lady Snow will you please join me up here?”

“Rose, I would like to first say thank you for being by my side and it’s an honor to be your husband. I just want to inform you that God is shifting some things around and Satan isn’t going to like it. God has called us to do something different and I wanted to tell you in front of the other ministers here that it’s going to be hard and I’m going to need your prayers.”

Everyone was shocked, even Lady Snow when she witnessed her husband being vulnerable in front of the other leaders. Pastor Snow pulled his handkerchief out from the inside of his suit jacket and wiped his eyes. He grabbed Lady Snow’s hand, gathered his thoughts and proceeded to address the church.

“Our church has just suffered from a tragedy. I received a suicide letter today from a woman who claimed to be a member here. She stated that she had been a member here for almost two years and that not one person noticed her—not one person, not a single soul. I thought that it was a prank or something so I asked Sister Lisa to search in the members’ files for the young lady’s name. Tara Harris was indeed a member, she tithed and attended services regularly. I went a step further and checked the recent obituaries and there it was: Tara Harris died two weeks ago because she was hurting and felt helpless.

What makes the situation worse is that we didn’t know about her. Something has to change and it will change today. We will start having meetings to come up with a better accountability system because I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT have this happen to this church again.

I am called to leave the 99 sheep to go after that one that strays. At this point, I don’t care what you all may think about me because I answer to God. I will do God’s work, and I already know that some members may not agree with some of the things that will be done around here. I’m on a mission and I have to do what I’m called to do. Thank you for meeting me today and please keep me and my family uplifted in prayer. The meeting is dismissed.”

The church was quiet and no one said a word. Pastor Snow kissed his wife on her cheek and headed back to his office, leaving everyone in complete shock. Although a hundred questions ran throughout the leaders’ minds, Pastor Snow left without engaging in their curiosity. Just as quick as the meeting was called, it was also over.

“So that’s it?” asked Deacon Randolph as he stood up and demanded the pastor’s attention.

“Ya’ll going to sit there and aren’t going to say anything? What’s wrong with ya’ll? I’m not going to let him point the finger at us like that. That girl killed herself because she wanted to. How is that the church’s fault?” asked Deacon Randolph rhetorically.

No one said a word. Lady Snow walked to the altar and got down on her knees to pray. The church leaders began to walk toward the altar to join her, everyone except Deacon Randolph.

Chapter 4

Highways and Byways

“Pastor, where are you off to now?” inquired Lady Snow.

“I’m going out to witness, Honey. I’ll be back shortly and I promise not to be gone too long,” replied Pastor Snow.

“Baby, I’m really proud of you for being so aggressive towards your ministry, but why do you feel the need to witness to people so late at night? Who are you trying to reach?” asked Lady Snow.

“What type of question is that? Who am I trying to reach? I’m trying to reach the lost and some of these people only come out at night,” answered Pastor Snow as he became irritated by Lady Snow’s questions.

“Honey, I understand, but it’s dangerous out there. Why can’t you take Calvin with you or one of the other leaders from the church? Deacon Randolph loves to go out and minister. What you’re doing is great but you must use wisdom, Calvin Senior,” suggested Lady Snow.

“Thank you for being so concerned, Baby, but some things I have to do on my own and this is one of those things. When I’m led to take someone with me I will, until then I’m going to witness by myself. Besides, we’re no Jehovah Witnesses going around in large numbers trying to get people to come to Christ. Everyone has their ways of doing things and I’m taking a more personal approach. Rose, I don’t want people to be intimidated when they see me coming their way. We can continue this conversation later. The sooner I can leave, the sooner I can return home,” explained Pastor Snow as he kissed Lady Snow on her forehead and walked out the door.

Lady Snow could feel that Pastor Snow was weighed down with burdens and the loss of the member who had just committed suicide. She knew that he felt responsible for the young lady’s death, but trying to save the world wasn’t going to bring her back.

Pastor Snow knew that he could not tell anyone what he was actually up to. Before Tara killed herself, she asked him to help her sister and that’s exactly what he was determined to do. He had no idea where to start looking for her. He was left with only a name and her reputation. A woman with such a reputation had to be well known in the local strip clubs and that was where he intended to look.

Pastor Snow pulled into Shakers’ parking lot. There were so many cars that filled the lot and the strip club was packed. Pastor Snow took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and began to pray: “Lord God, my Heavenly Father, I’m not sure why you want me to go through this but I trust you. If I’m supposed to look for this girl here, so please send me a sign. God what am I doing? Please give me the strength to go up in here, Lord. I need you to be with me, Amen.”

As Pastor Snow opened his car, two gentleman walked past him completely drunk.

“Hey, man, you’re going to find whatever you want up in there,” suggested one of the drunk men as he stumbled to his car.

Pastor Snow didn’t reply. He closed his car door, locked it, and walked towards the building. He was so grateful that there wasn’t a line. The last thing he needed was to be seen outside of such an establishment as a strip club.

“ID,” demanded the bouncer.

“Huh?”.

“Man, I need to see your ID. We card everybody.”

Pastor Snow fumbled to get his wallet from his back pocket and his nerves made it difficult for him to retrieve his ID.

“You must be nervous, huh? Man, you’ll be okay. The ladies will show you a good time, bro,” said the bouncer as he opened the door to let Pastor Snow in without actually checking his ID.

The door flew open and the music was banging. The bouncer walked Pastor Snow inside and yelled to a group of ladies, “Show my man some hospitality, it’s his first time.” The bouncer chuckled and then walked away. Several women began to walk his way, but Pastor Snow politely waved them away and headed towards the bar.

Pastor Snow began to pray boldly and loudly inside his head. His prayers were so loud that they drowned out the music. The room was full of women and neon lights were everywhere. Several women were dancing on the metal poles that were mounted to the ceiling and there were other women giving lap dances to both men and women.

Pastor Snow felt a perverted demonic presence. He needed to do his job and get out right away. He sat down at the bar and ordered a Sprite. Just as the bartender handed him his drink, a woman approached him—topless. He could not bring himself to talk to her nor look in her direction.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked the woman in disgust. “You act like you don’t want to look at these big breasts. Are you gay?” snickered the topless woman.

Pastor Snow sipped his Sprite and did not entertain her question. The woman walked away without inquiring any further. Pastor Snow felt like Satan himself had trapped him and he began to question if it were God who truly sent him in there.

“Excuse me, but you look extremely uncomfortable. What are you doing in here?” asked the bartender.

“It’s that obvious?” asked Pastor Snow as he rubbed his forehead and chuckled. “I’m actually looking for someone. Do you know a woman by the name of Candice Harris?”

“Oh, that explains it,” laughed the bartender.

“Um, let me see, Candice, Candice, Candice Harris,” the bartender brainstormed out loud.

“Oh, you must be talking about Candy!”

“Candy? I’m not sure. I just know her legal name.”

“Her legal name? Are you a cop?” asked the bartender.

“No, not at all. I was referred to her by a close friend.”

“Oh, ok, I see what it is. You’re a potential.”

“A Potential?” asked Pastor Snow.

“Yeah, her potential client,” acknowledged the bartender.

“Oh, yeah, exactly. Do you know where I can find her? Is she here tonight?” inquired Pastor Snow in desperation because he could not see himself ever coming back.

“Candy no longer works here. She moved on to bigger and better things. Besides you should know that. Escorting is way classier than this dump. If you want to get in touch with Candy you can call her at this number,” suggested the bartender as she handed him a napkin with a number written on it.

“Thank you,” replied Pastor Snow. He took the number and put it deep into his pocket. He then left the club and walked as fast as he could to his car.

Pastor Snow got into his car in the hopes of not being seen by anyone who knew him. His heart was racing and his mind was scattered. Without further hesitation, he drove off and headed home. He had many thoughts as he drove home. He couldn’t help but wonder why his life was changing so rapidly. The obligation to find some woman named Candy was overwhelming and he dreaded being affiliated with such deviant behavior. Pastor Snow’s anxiety grew as he continued to think about why he didn’t want to be associated with the strip club, especially since Lady Snow had forgiven him for watching porn during a vulnerable stage of her illness and their marriage.

Before he knew it, he had pulled up to his house and noticed that all the lights were off. He knew that Lady Snow was mad and didn’t wait up for him to get home. She was notorious for going to bed mad and giving him the cold shoulder whenever she was too upset to talk.

Pastor Snow sat in the car for a few more moments to collect his thoughts. Just as he was about to open the car door, he remembered that he had the number for Candy in his back pocket. He instantly began to memorize the number. He couldn’t risk Lady Snow finding it in the laundry. The napkin had the Shakers logo on it, which was a silhouette of a woman sliding down a pole in stiletto heels. He memorized the number and tore up the napkin to get rid of any and all evidence that he had been at Shakers. Lady Snow would never approve of him witnessing in a place like that nor would she have believed him. An old McDonald’s bag was on the passenger’s seat. Pastor Snow opened the bag and shredded the napkin into a confetti. He then put the shredded napkin inside of the old wrinkled bag. He closed the bag and balled it up.

Twenty minutes later, he was finally convinced that he could go inside his house. He quietly got out of the car and tried to avoid making any noise as he entered the house. His mission was complete. Pastor Snow managed to sneak into the house without making a sound. He was so relieved. He began to head upstairs to bed, unaware that Lady Snow had watched him from the window on their loft as he came home.

Chapter 5

Woman to Woman

“Good morning,” said Lady Snow as she greeted her sneaky husband Pastor Snow as he entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Dear,” responded Pastor Snow as he walked over and kissed Lady Snow on her forehead.

“So how did it go?” asked Lady Snow.

“How did what go, Hun?” replied Pastor Snow.

“Your ministering, your witnessing, and your street evangelism,” insinuated Lady Snow, curious to see what lie would come from Pastor Snow’s mouth.

“Actually, it went well. Thank you for asking. Although it was harder than I thought that it would be. I believe that God is pleased. Rose, I know that you’re scared, but I just want to reassure you that everything will be okay,” exclaimed Pastor Snow.

Lady Snow looked down at the ground, noting the lack of confidence in his words. She then turned her attention to the cup of coffee that she had just finished preparing for him.

“So, do I have to get used to you coming home late like you did last night?” asked Lady Snow, her voice quivering with concern and disappointment.

“Oh, my Lord, I pray not. Honey, trust me. I’m only doing what I have been called to do right now. I do not find pleasure in treading these grounds. Just continue to pray for me. Please, Baby, I need you,” commented Pastor Snow.

Lady Snow wanted to challenge Pastor Snow, but heard his heart and for the first time began to trust what he had been led to do. Although she didn’t understand what Pastor Snow was doing, she believed that he wasn’t sure either. Lady Snow handed Pastor Snow his coffee and smiled softly as a calming gesture of support. Pastor Snow reached for his drink as the door flew open.

“Hello!” exclaimed Calvin as he entered unannounced into his parents’ home.

“Hey, Son, what a pleasant surprise. And is that my girl Savannah with you?” asked Pastor Snow as he walked towards Calvin’s new fiancé with his arms opened up for a hug.

“Hello, Pastor,” replied Savannah, embracing Pastor Snow and winking at Lady Snow.

Lady Snow blew Savannah a kiss and squeezed her eyes tight as Calvin bear-hugged her.

“Where are the kids?” asked Lady Snow, finally free from Calvin’s hug.

“Oh, they’re with Ashton,” replied Savannah.

“Oh, ok, great. She’s a sweet girl. Savannah, I love the way that you have mentored her. God’s going to honor that,” stated Lady Snow, her heart full of sincerity.

“Thank you, ma’am. By the way, she wanted me to invite you guys to her open house. I’m so proud of her. She stuck in there and finished school,” noted Savannah.

“I know you must be proud. We’ll try our best to make it to her open house. I received the invitation in the mail the other day and it seems like we already had another commitment on that day, but I have to double check. Either way, I’d like to get her a nice graduation gift,” exclaimed Lady Snow.

“She’d love that,” responded Savannah.

“When is her baby due?” asked Lady Snow.

“Believe it or not, any day now,” replied Savannah.

“What? You don’t say! When I saw her Sunday, she didn’t even look that big,” expressed Lady Snow.

“I know, time flies,” commented Savannah as she began to look around, obviously uncomfortable and wishing to change the subject. She noticed that Calvin and Pastor Snow went into the adjacent room.

“Lady Snow, I really need to talk to you,” indicated Savannah.

“Okay, Love, I’m all ears,” replied Lady Snow.

“I know that I really shouldn’t be sharing this with you, but I honestly have no one else to talk to. Ok, where do I start?” asked Savannah, her voice trailing off amid the conversation ahead of her.

“Just start with what’s bothering you. I’m not going to judge you and Lord knows that I have problems and issues too. One day I might be at your house asking you to help me,” stated Lady Snow as she began to laugh.

“I understand and trust me, I respect you, your position, and the fact that you’re Calvin’s mother. But, forgive me, Lady Snow, how do you handle ignorant women at the church?” asked Savannah bluntly. Lady Snow laughed while she took a seat at the breakfast bar and crossed her legs.

“Savannah, I’m going to put it to you like this. Women will be women and it doesn’t matter if they’re in the church, outside the church, at the office, at the bank, or at the gym,” replied Lady Snow, as she began to laugh even harder while Savannah joined in.

“You’re right about that. But how do you continue to remain so classy in spite of their nasty attitudes?” asked Savannah.

“Exactly. What you just said, Love—class! Classiness is not determined by your circumstances. A classy woman never stoops down to a messy woman’s level. Don’t ever give someone that power. When you allow people to change you based on their attitude, you’re in a bad place within yourself. You then have to ask God for strength to endure those types of storms. Dignity and integrity give me my class and, Savannah, you are one extremely classy woman yourself. Stand your ground and show those women just why my son has chosen to marry you,” expressed Lady Snow, her compassion for Savannah welled within her eyes.

“How did you know? I haven’t told you anything about our situation,” questioned Savannah.

“A mother knows, and you’re a strong woman, Savannah. God has brought you a mighty long way and this too shall pass. I see a lot of me in you. You just have to trust Calvin and, most importantly, continue to trust God,” suggested Lady Snow.

Savannah began to cry.

“When Calvin announced our engagement, I saw a woman get up and walk out. I questioned Calvin about her and he blew it off. I don’t want to look stupid,” stated Savannah.

“Look stupid? How would you look stupid?” asked Lady Snow.

“I think Calvin use to deal with that woman. I don’t like drama, and every time I visit your church that’s exactly what I experience—drama. One time, a woman kept pretending to go to the bathroom. Every time she would get up and pass us, she would intentionally put her butt in Calvin’s face. The pew was empty on her side and she could have easily gone in the other direction, but—no—she just had to pass us,” said Savannah in frustration.

“Love, you teach people how to treat you. I would have looked at her and smiled. Then I would have asked her politely if she wanted to be move closer to the restroom for her convenience because I would hate to see her have an accident at church,” said Lady Snow.

“See? That’s why I love you,” explained Savannah as she chuckled.

“That woman doing all of that wasn’t for Calvin, it was to ruffle your feathers, Love. Don’t give them the satisfaction of watching you get upset and then taking out your frustration on Calvin. Now I know that a lot of women would love to be in your position, but the woman you were just referring to was the best friend of Calvin’s late wife. She is still grieving about the loss of her best friend. I know that being around her may make you feel uncomfortable, but try to not take anything personal. She’s a family friend and, trust me, she’ll come around. Like I just told you, show people why Calvin chose you to be his wife,” said Lady Snow.

Savannah smiled and was relieved to know the story behind the woman. Calvin and his father joined Lady Snow and Savannah in the kitchen. Savannah could tell from Calvin’s demeanor that he had also been talking about their relationship with his father. He appeared to be more relaxed and less frustrated. They all continued to converse a little longer until it was time for Calvin and Savannah to pick up the boys.

Lady Snow’s mood had changed and she was finally in good spirits. Helping Savannah also helped her. Savannah thought that Lady Snow was speaking solely to her, but she was also ministering to herself.

“Honey, I’m going to run some errands and enjoy this beautiful day. Do you have plans?” asked Lady Snow.

“I’m just going to be doing some work and then I may go to the gym,” replied Pastor Snow.

“Okay. Well, call me if you need anything while I’m out,” suggested Lady Snow.

“Thank you, Baby,” responded Pastor Snow as he waited anxiously for Lady Snow to leave. He had been repeating Candice’s number in his head all day and could not wait to have the opportunity to finally call her.

Lady Snow grabbed her purse and keys. She walked over to Pastor Snow and kissed him on his lips. He kissed her back and reached for the newspaper as if he was about to read it. Without further hesitation, Lady Snow walked out of the front door to enjoy her day. He waited approximately 15 minutes to ensure that Lady Snow didn’t come back into the house to retrieve something that she could have possibly forgotten. When the coast was clear, he headed upstairs to his office to call Candice.

Chapter 6

The Client

Pastor Snow looked at his cell phone and dialed the number to Candice over and over again in his head. He rehearsed what he would say to her and suddenly he was tongue-tied. He was nervous and scared. He desperately wanted the whole escapade to be over. He began to entertain the thought of never calling her and going through with Tara’s final request. He knew that he didn’t have much time, but he felt the urge to read the mystery letter again for extra motivation to follow through with the phone call. Pastor Snow grabbed his briefcase. He placed it on the top of his desk. He then entered the code and opened the briefcase to retrieve the letter from a small pocket on the inside of a larger pocket. He slowly opened the letter and began to read it in its entirety. His body trembled as he read it and his brow became moist with anticipation. His body became completely covered with goose bumps.

He quickly slammed the briefcase shut and locked it right away. Pastor Snow knew that he must go through with the call. The letter left him even more disturbed than when he read it for the first time. When Pastor Snow had gathered enough courage to call Candice, he picked his cell phone up and began to dial her number.

“What’s up?” answered a man with a deep raspy voice.

He was confused and hesitated to respond. The man could have been her jealous boyfriend or anyone for that matter. Pastor Snow became more nervous and wanted to limit the number of people that he would interact with. His pastoral reputation was on the line and he was extremely paranoid.

“Hello, hello?” answered the man again.

“Yeah, hi, hello. Is Candy available?” asked Pastor Snow.

“Who is this?” asked the strange man in a dominant tone.

“I’m C, and I need to speak with her about a business matter. Is she available?” asked Pastor Snow.

“Yeah, okay, C. Well, I’m assuming that your business with Candy is new business and, just to let you know, all her business is my business. Now what can I do for you, Mr. C?” asked the man.

“I just wanted to speak with her,” replied Pastor Snow.

“I get it, Playa. I can set you up with a consultation with her as soon as possible. However, my Candy is very good at what she does and you’re going to want to talk with her a lot more often,” said the man as he laughed.

“May I ask who you are, sir?” asked Pastor Snow, while he dreaded to hear the man’s response.

“I’m Candy’s daddy and we’re in business together. Now, I’d love to continue this conversation, but you’re starting to waste my time and that means you’re messing up my money. When would you like to talk with Candy? She can be ready in an hour,” suggested the man who definitely wasn’t Candy’s dad.

Pastor Snow paused and could not believe that the only way that he could speak with Candy was to make an appointment with her daddy.

“Okay, I can meet with her in an hour,” replied Pastor Snow, nervous about how his day was about to turn out.

“She’ll be working at the Plaza Resort and Spa. Go to room 201 and be there exactly in one hour,” instructed the man before he hung up the phone.

Pulling the phone from his ear to stare at the screen, he could not believe that he had an appointment to meet with a prostitute. He didn’t predict that his morning would end up so taboo. He looked at his watch and followed the second hand with his eyes. Pastor Snow knew that he was well over his head and didn’t know what to do. He got up from his desk and walked over to the door. He peaked out from his office door and listened to make sure that he was still alone in the house. He was relieved to know that he was alone; he shut the door to his office and ensured that it was locked. Tears began to rise in his eyes.

Pastor Snow fell to his knees, stretched his hands towards heaven, and began to cry out: “LORD, I CAN’T DO THIS. I’M AFRAID OF LOSING MY FAMILY AND MY RESPECT. PLEASE LORD NO! WHY MUST I MEET THIS THIS WOMAN. PLEASE GOD HELP ME.” Pastor Snow continued to sob. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, forming rapids of passion, terminating violently upon the cold floor below him.

One million thoughts were occupying his mind. Pastor Snow sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. He felt peace come over him and he knew that God was with him. Although he didn’t understand why all of the drama had entered into his life, he trusted God and the plan that God had for him.

Pastor Snow pulled himself up off of the floor and went into his bedroom to get himself together. Without showering, he put on a white polo shirt and a pair of khaki pants that were the first pair of pants that he noticed hanging up in the closet. He knew that he could not afford to be late if he was going to meet Candy at all. He then looked at his watch and realized that he must leave right away. His heart started to race uncontrollably and he knew that he had to get his nerves under control immediately. He turned on some worship music and began to praise God in the midst of his confusion.

Before Pastor Snow knew it, he had arrived at the hotel. He didn’t want to be seen by anyone that he knew, so he proceeded toward the entrance of the hotel and the valet parking employee. Pastor Snow wanted to go inside as soon as he could and not loiter around the parking lot with the intent of trying to find a park spot. The valet opened the car door and Pastor Snow hopped out. He headed straight inside and was relieved to not have seen any of his members from the church.

“Excuse me, sir, excuse me,” said someone in the lobby.

Pastor Snow did not turn around and kept walking towards the elevator in the hopes of ignoring the person who was trying to get his attention.

“Sir, excuse me. I need to give you your valet ticket. You’ll need this ticket to get your car later,” urged the valet.

Pastor Snow turned around as relief overcame him, but for an instant, only to swiftly return to a state of petrified guilt took the valet ticket from the employee. He smiled, reached into his pocket, and handed the guy a $10 tip.

“Thank you, sir, I’ll definitely be needing my car later,” insisted Pastor Snow as he laughed because his paranoia had gotten the best of him.

Pastor Snow proceeded to the elevator doors and pushed the glowing circular button to go up. The elevator door opened and it was empty. He entered into the elevator and pushed the button for the second floor. In less than five seconds, he had reached the second floor. The elevator swung closed behind him and, once again, it was silent.

The hallway amplified his heartbeat, as one lonely bead of sweat escaped the tense forehead of Pastor Snow. Before him lay conviction, in the form of a number: 201. He dreaded that very moment and wanted to get it over with. He contemplated many times how he could become a customer of Candy because sleeping with her wasn’t an option. While he still had his courage, he knocked on the hotel room door.

He stood in front of the door in suspense, wondering who was on the other side. The door opened and Pastor Snow was shocked at the appearance of Candy. She didn’t look like a prostitute, a drug addict, or a trashy woman as he had suspected. She was beautiful, classy, and seemed intelligent.

“Hello Mr. C!” Please come in and relax.”

Pastor Snow was at a loss for words. He could not believe that the woman who stood in front of him was Candy. She looked nothing like he had imagined. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he knew that he had to help her. He kept reminiscing on Tara’s suicide letter and could no longer live with the guilt. He was at the hotel and felt obligated to go through with Tara’s request.

“It’s okay, have a seat, loosen up a bit. Would you like a drink?”

“No. Thank you. I…I don’t drink.”

“Well then, how can I help you today, Mr. C? I can do whatever you’d like me to do.”

“How much do you charge for a conversation?”

“Conversation? Are you kidding me? What do you mean by conversation? You’re not some weirdo are you?”

“No, not at all. I’d simply like to talk with you. I’m in need of conversation with a beautiful woman, that’s all. Everyone has different needs right?”

“Well, of course.”

“Five hundred dollars for an hour and you cannot ask me anything personal, got it?”

“Got it!”

“Okay, then let’s begin,” suggested Candy as she stood up and walked over to a door that was connected to the next room.

She tapped on the door six times with a unique rhythm and two men opened the other side. Pastor Snow was scared and wasn’t sure what was about to happen. He was sure that he was about to be beaten up and robbed.

“Stand up,” commanded the muscular man.

Pastor Snow did as instructed. The two men began to frisk him. Pastor Snow remained calm. Candy watched and didn’t take her eyes off of Pastor Snow.

“Okay, you’re good player,” insisted the man as he stopped the frisking and gave Candy the okay to continue.

Pastor Snow recognized the man’s voice and immediately knew that it was Candy’s pimp. His heart broke as he realized that this beautiful woman was a prostitute.

“Mr. C, I can tell that you’re not used to this, but you must understand that my safety is a part of this business,” added Candy.

“Yes, I completely understand.”

“Perfect! I’m glad you understand. Now talk to me, Mr. C,” instructed Candy.

Pastor Snow didn’t know where to start, so he began with his childhood. He wanted Candy to get to know him so that he could earn her trust. He wanted her to know his heart and for her to trust his guidance. He was there because God had ordained it to be. Pastor Snow talked and Candy listened and laughed. She was drawn in and actually enjoyed listening to Pastor Snow’s stories. Before he knew it, there was a knock coming from the other side of the door.

“Well Mr. C, your time is up,” announced Candy with a tone of disappointment.

“I understand,” Pastor Snow handed Candy five $100 bills.

“Candy, I’d like to meet with you again,” commented Pastor Snow.

“Sure! To talk?”

“Yes ma’am, only to talk.”

“When would you like to meet again?” asked Candy still confused and not understanding her new client’s motive.

“I’d like to meet every two weeks, same time, same place.”

“Awesome! And remember it’s going to be the same price Mr. C,”  Candy laughed.

“Of course.” Pastor Snow stood up and kissed Candy on her forehead. He turned facing the door and walked out without looking back. Candy remained seated on the bed and a lonely tear fell from her right eye when she blinked. She wasn’t certain what caused her to become upset. All she knew for sure was that nobody had respected her like that before.

Pastor Snow went back in the hotel lobby and handed the valet his ticket. As he waited for his car, he was overwhelmed with emotions. He stood speechless and left feeling guilty as he had just met Candy, his long-lost daughter.

Chapter 7

What a Man

“Girl, why are you smiling so hard?” Trisha asked as she rolled her eyes at Candy.

“What are you talking about?” Candy replied with an innocent grin.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Miss Lady. I’m your roommate and nothing gets past me. I bet it’s that Mr. C client that you just got, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Candy laughed.

“Girl, I hope you’re not daydreaming about him. I know he may be nice, but he’s still a man. A man like him would not want someone like you.”

“See Trisha, that’s where you’re wrong. I haven’t been daydreaming, nor do I want him, and it’s clear that he doesn’t want me. He just talks to me. I know that it may sound strange; that’s what I thought too. He just talks and when I talk, he listens. I haven’t talked to him about anything personal, but he listens to me no matter what I want to talk about.”

“Okay, and you don’t think that’s strange? Who in their right mind is going to pay a prostitute five hundred just to talk? Girl, bye! They have shrinks and life coaches for that.” Trisha rushed to get dressed.

“I know, but it’s different. Maybe he’s just lonely. It’s like he’s visiting with me as a friend, not a client or a creepy old man. He makes me feel significant and like I matter in this world. One time I put my hand on his knee and he went off on me and said that’s not what he was paying me for. I was so embarrassed. Then he lectured me about my standards,” she paused.

“Standards? He was giving you advice about standards for men?” The roommate had looked confused.

“No, Honey. The crazy thing is that he was referring to the standards that I should have for myself.”

“Oh my God, for real? What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I started to cry and he put his arms around me and cried too. After all the tears stopped, I went into the bathroom and got my face back together. I couldn’t let Big Daddy see my make-up messed up. I know this may seem farfetched, but for the first time I felt like it’s not too late to change my life.”

“I wish I felt that way about my life, but I know it’s too late for me.”

Candy did not reply. The two of them continued to get dressed and the room remained silent. Although no more words were spoken, the silence spoke volumes.

Chapter 8

People Talk

Two months had passed and Pastor Snow was enjoying his regular visits with Candy. He was forming a true connection with her and was honoring the wishes of Candy’s twin sister, Tara. He could not believe that he had fathered twins. He ran the scenario that Tara mentioned in her letter over and over again in his head. The more he contemplated it, the more he believed her. Tara mentioned her mother’s name and the whole situation made sense. He wanted it to be false, but Candy looked just like him. She looked more like him than his son, Calvin.

Pastor Snow was torn. He could not run from his past but didn’t know how to include Candy in his future. Lady Snow had been fighting cancer and there was no perfect time to expose his reality to her. Calvin Jr. looked up to him and the congregation had placed him on a pedestal.

“Hey, Honey, did you enjoy service today?”

“Um, hum,” Lady Snow refused to make eye contact and pretended to be preoccupied with a string that was hanging from her skirt.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so short with me?”

“You don’t want to ask me that, Pastor,” Lady Snow sarcastically said as she chuckled beneath her breath.

“What do you mean by that?” Pastor Snow had an idea of what she was referring to. He was dreading her response, but remained confident in his innocent demeanor.

“I should be the one asking questions.”

“Okay, then. What would you like to ask?” Pastor Snow remained calm.

“First, I’d like to know why there are rumors going around about my husband.”

“Rumors? What kind of rumors?” Pastor Snow was shocked that someone other than his wife had concerns. He thought that if anyone had suspected anything unusual, it would be Lady Snow and only Lady Snow. He knew that one day he would have to explain everything to her. However, he was not prepared to explain it to other people and he definitely didn’t want Lady Snow hearing any rumors about him before he could tell her the truth first-hand.

Pastor Snow knew that it was going to be an awkward ride home from church. He was desperate for God to give him wisdom in his choice of words.

“Rumors of you fooling around on me.” Lady Snow forced herself not to cry.

He said nothing but shook his head back and forth, gesturing no. He could tell that Lady Snow wasn’t finished talking and he wanted to wait until she was completely done venting before he responded.

“Here I am dying of cancer, and you can’t even wait until I’m dead to go ho around,” said Lady Snow.

“Now, just wait a minute, Rose. I am not doing such things as that. I have not slept with anyone. I have not cheated on you and I don’t care what anyone has said about me. I’m a man, true indeed, but I’m a faithful man.”

“Well, you may not be sleeping with anyone, but have you received any lap dances?” Lady Snow stared him dead in his face to examine every move that his body language made.

Pastor Snow was confused as to why she asked about him getting a lap dance.

“Are you serious? No, I haven’t gotten any lap dances,” Pastor Snow pulled into their driveway.

Lady Snow started to laugh out of anger; it was obvious that she had been angry for quite some time.

“Calvin, Pastor, Big Daddy, or whoever you think that you are. Let me inform you of something. First of all, you didn’t marry no stupid woman. Second of all, I’m a woman with class and I deserve to die with my dignity. Whatever it is that you have been doing, put it to an end. I refuse to live like this and you have yet to convince me that my suspensions and these rumors are wrong.”

“Rose, I love you and I need you to trust me. I have not cheated on you,” said Pastor Snow as he pleaded his case.

Rose sucked her teeth and reached inside of her purse. She pulled out a white, folded piece of paper. She began to unfold it and Pastor Snow was annoyed by the sound it made. Lady Snow placed the paper in Pastor Snow’s lap.

“You try to be sneaky, but like I said, I’m not dumb. Last month, I started to hear some awful rumors about you, and so have Calvin and Savannah. I was embarrassed that our son and his fiancé had to hear rumors about you. Savannah has been hearing rumors at work and she thinks that I don’t know. I hear how some of the women at the daycare insinuate your behavior, as if she is supposed to expect the same behavior from our son. Calvin has yet to mention these rumors to me but I have noticed how he has become uncomfortable around you.” She zipped her purse back up and opened the passenger side car door to let herself out.

“The bill that I just handed you has a purchase on it from Shakers. Please don’t try to act like you don’t know what Shakers is, because everyone knows that it’s a strip club. So spare me.”

Lady Snow got out of the car and shut the car door behind her. Pastor Snow rubbed his thigh continuously. He could not believe that he had forgotten all about the Sprite that he had bought at the bar when he was searching for Candy. He had so much explaining to do and he was not sure where to start. Rose was furious and hurt, and no matter what he said, he was sure that she wasn’t going to believe him.

Instead of going directly into the house, he remained seated in the car to figure out how to explain everything to his wife. He entertained a lot of ridiculous thoughts but didn’t intend on lying to her. He only had one option and that was to come clean about everything. The one thing that stood in his way from telling the truth was fear. He was scared that his marriage, his family, and his church were going to fall apart.

With much consideration, there was no easy way to tell Lady Snow that the woman who committed suicide was his daughter and that she has a twin sister who happens to be a prostitute. Although it was going to be hard, he was ready to tell Lady Snow the whole story. He thought about Candy, too. He thought about how she would reject him once she found out that he was her father. Tears began to flow down his face and he couldn’t remember a time when he was so vulnerable. He tried to stop crying. However, the more he tried to refrain from crying, the more tears ran down his face.

God, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I repented to you. I didn’t know that these kids existed; I thought that she had an abortion. I thought she had an abortion. Pastor Snow went from yelling at God to a soft whisper.

Pastor Snow wiped his face with his handkerchief and finally got out of the car. He went into the house and didn’t smell any food cooking as he normally would on Sundays after church. He walked around the house and didn’t see any sign of Lady Snow anywhere. He went upstairs and noticed that their bedroom door was shut. He thought about entering, but decided that she needed her space and that he needed more time to gather his thoughts.

He went into his office and closed the door behind him. Just as he sat down into his oversized leather chair, he felt the vibration from his cell phone inside his pants pocket. He pulled the phone out from his pocket to see who had called; it was Pastor Reese. He hesitated to answer because their last conversation hadn’t gone so well. It had left an obvious strange distance between the two of them. Although Pastor Snow didn’t want to answer the phone, he realized that he desperately needed to talk to his friend.

“Hey, man!” Pastor Snow answered.

“Well, praise the Lord, my dear friend,” replied Pastor Reese.

“I thought that you may have forgotten about a brother,” said Pastor Snow as he laughed.

“Never that, my friend,” said Pastor Reese.

“I would like to have lunch soon; we have a lot to catch up on,” said Pastor Snow.

“I’m in agreement with that. We definitely need to catch up on some things. The last time we spoke, you were in a bad place, my friend,” Pastor Reese said.

“I’m afraid to admit it, but I was in a bad place, and I’m still in a tough place now. That’s one of the reasons why I needed to speak with you,” said Pastor Snow.

“Look, I know that you have been having a hard time ever since that girl killed herself, but you need to get it together. I’m not here to judge you but I will leave you with this to think about: Your life is your life but in Romans 14:16, the Bible teaches us to not let our good be evil spoken of. I know that you mean well and have a good heart. However, whatever it is that you call yourself doing, people are talking and it’s nothing good. So take that and do whatever you want with it.”

“I understand and thank you for being concerned about whatever it is that people have said about me. But like you said, this is my life and I have to do what’s best for me. I promise you that I’m being led by God and I pray that you see my heart,” replied Pastor Snow.

“Look, like I said before, I’m not here to judge you, my brother. I love you and pray that God is in your situation because you’re going to need him to get out of this mess. I don’t know what it is that you’re going through, but I pray that God gets the glory anyhow. I’m not going to pretend to understand your situation because frankly, I don’t know what you’re up to nowadays. But I will tell you this: as long as you’re involved in all this mess, I’d appreciate it if we not associate until all these rumors smooth over. I’d hate to have my name ran through the mud because I’m affiliated with you, and I’d hate for people to assume that I am condoning your behavior. I hope that you understand.”

“I understand, Pastor Reese. Believe me, I understand,” replied Pastor Snow as he tapped an ink pin on his desk calendar. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll let you go. Also, by the way, please cancel our meeting for lunch soon. Have a good day, take care, and God bless you.” Pastor Snow hung up the phone.

Pastor Snow sat in his chair in disbelief. His best friend had turned his back on him, Lady Snow was hurt, and his congregation was saturated with rumors. He could only imagine what kind of things were being said about him. He thought about the verse that Pastor Reese had mentioned and he knew how his actions could have been perceived by someone from the outside looking in on his situation. Pastor Snow realized that no one could help him—not his wife, not his friend, no one but God could turn his life back around. He was determined to pray more and fast until God gave him a breakthrough.

Chapter 9

The Day Has Come

“Good morning, Rose, I made you breakfast,” said Pastor Snow.

Lady Snow smiled slightly and sat at the breakfast table as she looked out of the window into the woods.

“I knew how upset you were last night, so I stayed in my office all night praying,” said Pastor Snow as he sat down next to Lady Snow.

He placed her plate in front of her and noticed that her eyes were swollen. He realized that she must have cried herself to sleep.

“Rose, do you remember when I told you that things were going to get hard for us?” asked Pastor Snow.

Lady Snow did not reply. She continued to look outside of their kitchen window.

“Well, that time has come, and I still ask that you trust me. Baby, I need you to trust me. I don’t know why God has given me this cross to carry, but I will continue to honor him and I pray that he can strengthen our marriage through this trial,” stated Pastor Snow.

“Strengthen our marriage? Let’s first start with honesty, Calvin. You can start there. I just don’t know what has happened to you,” replied Lady Snow.

“Baby, I know it’s hard to understand, but please trust me. I beg you to trust me. I love you,” responded Pastor Snow in a passive tone.

Lady Snow said nothing. She turned towards Pastor Snow and patted his hand that was placed next to her plate on the table. She politely got up from the table and pushed her chair in.

“You’re right, I don’t understand. Thank you for making me breakfast, but I’m not hungry, Dear. I don’t know what you have to do, but you better fix this mess,” suggested Lady Snow as she headed towards the living room.

Pastor Snow knew that the time had come to reveal the truth to his wife. He didn’t know where to start, but he knew that he had to stop spending time with Candy. The rumors were destroying his family, but he believed that he had already made a huge impact in Candy’s life. So he went back upstairs to get dressed and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. It was his scheduled day to meet with Candy and he had decided that it was his final day, his final opportunity.

Pastor Snow was ready. He got dressed, grabbed his keys from the night stand, and was ready to walk out of the door. He dreaded to leave Lady Snow at home with so many doubts, yet he felt obligated to talk with Candy face to face. He felt fixed in place, like his feet were cemented to the ground. His mind said go but his heart said wait. All he knew for sure, was that God’s path was the path that he must walk

“Baby, I’ll be back, I have to run some errands,” said Pastor Snow, nervous about what Lady Snow’s reply would be. He waited nearly 30 seconds. Lady Snow hadn’t said a word as if she had ignored and dismissed his announcement. He continued to walk out of the door relieved that everything would be over soon.

On his way to meet Candy, he contemplated if he was going to reveal his true identity to her or not. He thought about the different outcomes and nothing seemed to be the right answer. Before he could come up with a solution, he had arrived at the hotel. He said a silent prayer as he got out of his car, breathed deeply, and handed his keys to the valet.

Once again, one last final time, he stood in front of room 201. He knocked and no one answered. He knocked again and again. On his third attempt, the adjacent room door opened. It was Candy’s pimp in room 200.

“Hey, you’re early; get in here,” commanded the pimp.

Pastor Snow, confused, did as instructed.

“Why are you so early?” asked the pimp. He seemed notably put out by Pastor Snow’s arrival.

“I didn’t have anything planned and thought that I could see her sooner,” replied Pastor Snow.

“Man, stop being a punk. You can still see her, but you’re going to have to wait in line. She’s with another client,” Candy’s pimp stated as he laughed.

Pastor Snow was enraged at the thought of her having sex with a client next door. He was no longer confused, he knew that he had to reveal that he was her father. He sat quietly and patiently as the time slowly went by. He was disgusted by the sounds he heard coming from Candy’s room. His daughter was being disrespected by a man only feet away and he was hopeless to do anything. His rage grew. He began to pray as he sat on the end of the bed with two men standing over him. He was in a zone and God began to show him the calling that Candy had on her life. He always thought that it was Calvin Jr., but the Lord said that Candy would lead many people to him.

“Hello! Man, wake up,” yelled Big Daddy, Candy’s pimp.

Pastor Snow didn’t realize how much time had passed. He opened his eyes and the adjoining room door was opened. He saw Candy facing him. She looked different than all the other times. She looked disheveled, her hair was tangled and her arms had track marks from the drugs. Her mascara was smudged and her lipstick is everywhere but her lips. She had a black eye as well. Pastor Snow felt disgusted. She smelled like she had not showered for days…but he knew that her soul was still pure.

“Candy, is it okay if we have lunch outside on the deck today?” asked Pastor Snow.

Candy looked at Big Daddy for the answer to his question. The Big Daddy shrugged his shoulders insinuating that he didn’t care. Candy then looked back at Pastor Snow and answered.

“Sure, I’d love that,” replied Candy with a smile stretched across her face.

In the meantime, Lady Snow had just pulled into her driveway astonished that Pastor Snow was at a hotel. She felt guilty about following him, but she could not stomach what he could possibly be doing in a hotel. She dashed into the house, fell on the floor, and began to sob endlessly. She began to have flash backs from his episode with porn. She was upset about his association inside of the local strip club, but her worse fear was that he was having an affair with a stripper or even worse a prostitute. Due to the rumors that were spread, she had no idea what kind of things he could be into.

Lady Snow could no longer take Pastor Snow’s reckless behavior. She needed some answers and she needed to hear from God right away. Her blood boiled inside of her. She picked herself up from the floor and began to pace back and forth down the hallway. She was tired of Pastor Snow’s excuses and she was at her wit’s end. Her sadness turned into rage and then the rage would turn back into sadness. She was on an emotional roller coaster and wanted to get off, but from so high up, who would catch her if she fell?

Chapter 10

Seek and Find

“Calvin, what’s wrong?” asked Savannah.

“Nothing,” replied Calvin.

“Nothing? Calvin, you have been quiet ever since you arrived. You’re not talking to me or the boys. I’m worried about you, Baby. You have been acting really strange lately,” suggested Savannah.

“I didn’t want to say anything, but Savannah, I’m embarrassed of all the rumors that have been said about my father,” replied Calvin as he jingled with his keys to lighten the mood.

“Calvin, you don’t have to be withdrawn towards us. I’m here for you and you can talk to me about anything,” said Savannah.

“Savannah, you don’t understand. There are some bad things being said about my father and I’m worried that my mom may have heard them too. Savannah, you know that my mom is sick. I pray that this mess isn’t true. I swear that he better not hurt my mom.”

“Baby, maybe you should just pray for your parents. They have been married for a long time and I’m sure that your mother can get through this. Besides, rumors are rumors and people make stuff up all time,” said Savannah in the hopes that her words would comfort Calvin.

“I hear you, Savannah, but typically there’s some truth in rumors. Can you believe that people say that my father has been going to strip clubs? Can you believe that people have said that my father is stealing money from the church to get laps dances? They have even said that my father is a private owner of one of the strip clubs. Somebody said that they heard that my father had a stripper girlfriend.”

“I know, and I’m sorry that you have heard so many terrible things.”

“You knew?”

“Yes Calvin, I know about the rumors. I’ve heard women talking about it at the daycare.”

“Why didn’t you say something to me?”

“Because I don’t spread rumors. Besides, no matter what the truth may be, one thing is for certain and that is the fact that your father is still your father.”

“So you believe that the rumors are true?”

“It’s not my job to decide if it’s true or not. It’s my job to decide who your father is to me based on the relationship that he has with me. No one is perfect, Calvin. I’m sure that all the people who have put their negative words and thoughts on your father would be embarrassed if God showed us a movie about their life as well. Everybody would be hiding underneath the pews. He that is without sin, cast the first stone. Maybe if people take heed to that verse, they won’t be so quick to judge him.”

“You’re right. I’m going to step outside for a minute to call and check on my mom. If she has heard those rumors I’m sure she’s probably hurt.”

“Of course, Baby!”

Calvin walked outside of Savannah’s townhouse to call his mother. He pulled his cell phone out from his pocket and began to search through his contacts. He came to his mother’s number. He then took a deep breath and continued to press the call button.

“Hello?” answered Lady Snow.

“Hey, Mom! What are you doing?”

“I’m packing up your father’s things, Calvin,”

“You’re packing up his things for what?”

“Because there is a lot that you don’t understand, Calvin, and a lot of stuff I that I don’t feel like explaining at this moment,” Lady Snow started to lose her breath.

“Mom, I already know. It’s about all these rumors, isn’t it?”

“Rumors? Well I wouldn’t call them rumors.”

“What are they supposed to mean? Are you telling me that you actually believe what people are saying?”

“Look, Son, I’m going to tell you like this, plain and simple. Your father is not perfect, although I’m sure you’d like to believe that he is. A couple of years ago, I found out that he was watching pornography. I confronted him about it and I believe that God took that away from him. I couldn’t believe that he would want to watch such filth. I was so busy trying to keep the tramps from church away from him that I failed to notice the enemy sneaking in from the back door.” She paused and took a deep breath.

“Now, ever since that poor girl committed suicide, I believe your father had literally lost his mind. I followed your father today and he pulled up to that new hotel downtown. I sat in the parking lot and watched him talk to the valet as if he went there often. I found a credit card charge on our statement from a strip club and I’m tired, Calvin. I don’t want to see the sight of your father right now, therefore I’m packing his things so that he can find somewhere else to stay. He’s with that slut as we speak.”

Lady Snow’s heart began to race, further losing her breath, before she continued, “He can’t get out of this one. He can’t say that he’s there witnessing. He can’t say anything to me to justify this,” Lady Snow began to cry again. Calvin had never heard his mother so upset or ever heard her talk so livid. He was crushed. He could not tolerate hearing his mother cry.

“Mom, it’s going to be okay,” Calvin walked towards his car.

Calvin jumped into his car without any reservations and sped off. He failed to tell Savannah that he had left and could not calm down enough to call her. He drove 90 mph and within minutes arrived at the new hotel that the community had raved about since it opened.

Calvin parked his car in a spot at the rear of the parking lot and planned to walk around the parking lot and garage until he found his father’s car. Calvin got out of his car and began his hunt. He walked up and down various aisles until he heard people voices coming from the side of the building. Calvin followed the sounds and was led to the hotel’s restaurant where people where eating outside. He didn’t expect to see his father, but there he was: Pastor Snow was not alone He was with an attractive woman having lunch.

Calvin was furious. He walked directly to the table without hesitation to confront his father.

“You should be ashamed of yourself! And you call yourself a man of God, you call yourself a pastor!” yelled Calvin as he approached the table. Pastor Snow and Candy were startled.

“You’re a preacher?” asked Candy.

“Calvin!”

Calvin cut him off and interrupted Pastor Snow’s attempt to respond.

“You have some nerve sitting here with this trash while my mother is at home dying!” yelled Calvin, pointing toward Candy with a look of disgust.

“Trash? Who are you calling trash? Look, I don’t need this,” Candy stood up from the table with her eyes pierced on Pastor Snow.

“Candy, wait.”

“Candy? Really Dad? This slut’s name is Candy,” Calvin looked Candy up and down in disgust.

“That’s enough, Calvin. Stop speaking to her that way. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Look Mr. C, I don’t do drama nor do I handle business in this matter. Keep your drama away from me and my business,” commanded Candy as she got out her cell phone to make a call.

Pastor Snow knew that she was calling her pimp and tried to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. The last thing he wanted was to get beat up and to involve Calvin.

“Candy, I’m sorry.” Pastor Snow handed her a roll of balled up money.

Calvin’s eyes filled up with tears as he watched his father hand the woman a large sum of money. Candy snatched the money and walked inside the restaurant to go back into the hotel. Calvin didn’t take his eyes off of his father and Pastor Snow didn’t take his eyes off of Calvin.

“Mr. C?” So, you’re Mr. C now? You disgust me and you need to step down,” said Calvin while he backed away. Calvin was bumping into tables as he continued to walk backwards never taking his eyes off of his father. Pastor Snow was speechless. He felt as though all and his work was in vein.

Calvin was back in the parking lot and couldn’t get to his car fast enough. His heart was broken. He thought about his mother and he wanted to go be with her before his father returned home. He knew that when his father got home it was going to be war. Calvin looked down at his cell phone which was attached to the car charger and noticed that he had five missed calls from Savannah. He picked up his phone to call her back as he shifted his car into drive to head over to his parents’ house.

“Hello!” answered Savannah. She heard nothing but crying. Calvin tried to gain his composure before he answered. He didn’t want Savannah to realize that he was upset.

“Calvin! Calvin! Where are you? Are you okay?” asked Savannah with deep concern. Calvin did not answer her.

“Calvin! Baby, talk to me,” pleaded Savannah.

“It’s bad, Baby. It’s real bad.”

“Really? Are you okay?” asked Savannah.

“I’ll be okay, but I can’t really talk right now. I’ll call you after I leave my parents’ house a little later.”

“Okay, I love you!”

“I love you too,” replied Calvin before he hung up the phone.

Savannah kept the phone to her ear as her heart slowly broke for Calvin. His once healthy family now lay ill and withered in hospital beds, as sick as his dying mother.

Chapter 11

The Big Fight

Calvin pulled into his parents’ driveway and was relieved that his father hadn’t beaten him to the house. He walked to the door and noticed numerous large black trash bags piled up against the stair case. It was obvious to him that his mother had done that. Peaking inside one of the bags, he saw his father’s clothes scrunched up and wrinkled. His father, being a neat freak, couldn’t have done that.

“Mom!” Yelled Calvin as he searched for her throughout the house.

“Calvin, I’m in here.”

Calvin followed the sound of her voice into the kitchen, where he found her sitting at the breakfast table with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company. She looked tired and weary.

“I’m sorry, Son. I can’t do this anymore. I just want to have peace in my life before I die. I am tired of all this drama, hiding, and sneaking,” said Lady Snow looking into Calvin’s eyes.

“Mom, I went to the hotel and saw dad with a prostitute. I confronted them.”

“Calvin, no! I thought you might go there, but I prayed that you wouldn’t. You shouldn’t have seen that. Why do you think the woman was a prostitute? Are you sure, Calvin?”

“I saw him pay her.”

“Your father has lost his mind and his dignity. He’s going down a dark hole and he won’t drag me down there with him,” said Lady Snow before the front door suddenly swung opened.

“Rose! Rose! Calvin!” yelled Pastor Snow in desperation.

Both Calvin and his mother walked towards the front door. When they reached the entry way, they saw Pastor Snow looking through the trash bags in tears.

“What’s this, Rose?” Pastor Snow asked his wife.

“Apparently, it’s your life, it’s trash, and it’s your future.”

“Just let me explain everything to you, Rose. Please, Baby. It’s not what you think.”

“There’s nothing to explain. First, it was porn, and now its prostitutes and strip clubs. You’re out of control.”

“Please listen to me…,” said Pastor Snow as his son cut him off.

“Take your stuff and leave, Dad. Mom, you don’t have to talk to him or listen to his lame excuses,” Calvin began to raise his voice with rage.

“Boy, I was talking to your mother. You stay out of this.”

“Boy? Who are you calling a boy?” Calvin chest began to swell up as he pulled his shoulders back.

“Pastor Calvin Snow Sr., you are a disappointment and you are reckless. The cancer isn’t killing me—you are—and you need to leave,” shouted Lady Snow.

“How dare you say that to me, Rose. How dare you! Go to hell.”

Calvin pushed his mother behind him. Breathing uncontrollably hard, he charged at his father and punched him with all of his might. Pastor Snow lost his balance and hit his head on the staircase rail on his way to the ground. His head began to bleed as he hit the ground.

Calvin backed away as he watched his father’s blood drip onto the floor. Pastor Snow grabbed his head and looked down at the floor. He saw a puddle of blood. Saying nothing further, he picked himself up off of the floor and grabbed a trash bag. Discouraged and overwhelmed, he refused to further explain himself before leaving with only one trash bag and the clothes on his back.

Lady Snow fell to the ground and cried in disbelief.

“What just happened?”

Calvin stood numb and convicted, unable to believe that he had allowed his anger to get out of control. Feeling like crap, he went over to his mother to comfort her. As he put his arms around her, she pulled away.

“He’s still your father, Calvin,” whispered Lady Snow.

Calvin backed up against the wall and slid down. As he sat on the floor, he replayed the tragic event in his head and began to cry.

Chapter 12

What’s Next?

“Here is your room key, Sir,” said the receptionist at the low-budget hotel.

“Thank you,” replied Pastor Snow as he reached down to grab his bag full of clothes.

Pastor Snow had chosen to stay at a cheap hotel as he had no idea how long he would have to pay to stay there. He walked into his room and placed his bag on the bed. Sitting down next to it, he looked at his reflection through the blank TV screen he had no interest in turning on. He then looked over at the alarm clock and remembered that he had a meeting with all of the Deacons and Elders that day. He began to rush to get himself together and realized that he could not go to the meeting with blood on his shirt.

Relieved to have the trash bag on his bed, he opened it up only to find that it was full of socks. Pastor Snow laughed out loud to himself because he didn’t think that his day could go any worse. With nothing to change into, he took off his dress shirt and planned to wear only his white t-shirt and khaki pants.

The Elders and Deacons were sure to know that something was terribly wrong, considering that Pastor Snow had never been seen wearing such relaxed attire while in the church building. Pastor Snow went into the bathroom and tried to groom himself to appear more presentable. His head had stopped bleeding, but his injury stuck out like a sore thumb. With little to no time to waste, he was grateful to have asked for a band aid when he had checked into the hotel. He didn’t want to attend the church meeting in his current physical and emotional condition, but had no other choice. He had to be there and he knew exactly what the topic of discussion would be.

When he arrived at the church, Pastor Snow noticed that he was the last person. He took a deep breath and exhaled as he opened the door to enter. The church was ice cold from the central air and he could smell the carpet freshener as if the carpet had just been vacuumed. He could hear the members’ loud voices from the conference room and immediately became defensive before he entered. He walked in and noticed that all of the church leaders were present but Lady Snow and Calvin. He was relieved that they had not come to make a scene.

“Hello, and I apologize for keeping you all waiting,” stated Pastor Snow as he took his seat. “I’m sure that we all have a lot to cover. So let’s get started right away. Let’s first address any issues or concerns to get that out of the way, and then we can move onto the church’s budget that we were considering last. Any members with any concerns, you now have the floor.”

No one spoke up. Everyone sat still. However, from their demeanor, Pastor Snow could tell that they had a lot to say. It was also obvious that the leaders were caught off guard by his appearance.

“Everyone, please don’t speak at once,” Pastor Snow stated.

“Well then, if no one wants to speak up, I do. I have a concern, Pastor,” said Deacon Randolph.

“Okay, Deacon. Let’s hear it.”

“My concern is with you. What’s up with all these rumors we have been hearing about? Now, I wasn’t born yesterday and I know that it all can’t be a lie.”

“What rumors?”

“You know what rumors, Pastor. I mean no disrespect, but you have a bad name on the streets and people have been talking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Deacon. I wasn’t aware that you were still in the street. So please enlighten me and the others of what you have heard.”

“Don’t try to play me, Pastor. We have put up with your nonsense for quite some time and everyone in here, including you, knows exactly what I’m talking about. You have been messing around with those nasty women and then coming up in here like you’re holy.”

“Really, Deacon! You know, Jesus was condemned for being around nasty women too. I’m assuming that you’re referring to prostitutes and strippers, right?” questioned Pastor Snow.

“Well, of course that’s what I’m referring to. And the last time I checked, Pastor Snow, you were not Jesus. So I don’t want to hear you trying to compare yourself to him,” responded Deacon Randolph vehemently as he stood up from his chair.

“You’re right, Deacon Randolph. You’re absolutely right. And what you so kindly pointed out just not makes me more likely to never become perfect. However, I stand before all of you and admit that I was at a strip club and I did meet with a prostitute. But what you all don’t know is that the woman seen with me is my long-lost daughter and I’m desperate to help her. I need your prayers because I have no idea what to do anymore. I am a man of God and I have integrity. Therefore, I will have a relationship with this woman in spite of her unfavorable life style. I will love her right where she is in life, just as God loved me. I had to go to all those places that Deacon Randolph mentioned to find her. And now that I have found her, I will not give up on her. This meeting has taken another direction and I do not wish to continue this conversation right now. I need to discuss some important details with my family before I address them here. I hope that you all can respect that. As you can see, I have had a rough day and I cannot deal with anything else on my plate today. Please be considerate and understand that if there is nothing urgent, I’d like to resume this meeting next week.”

Deacon Randolph stood as still as a statue and some of the leaders’ eyes filled up with tears. Other leaders stared into space in disbelief, while one stared at Deacon Randolph in a rage. Pastor Snow got up from the conference table and made his way towards the door.

“And to squash any further rumors, I just want you all to know that I did not cheat on Lady Snow,” called out Pastor Snow as he walked out of the meeting.

The pastor was physically and emotionally drained. He hadn’t eaten anything solid for nearly two weeks. With nowhere to go but back to his hotel room, he decided to pick up some food on the way. In no rush to return to his roach motel, he pulled up to a local burger joint and placed his order. As he pulled up to the drive-thru window, the aroma from the restaurant filled the air. Grabbing the bag of food, he parked in a parking spot instead of driving away.

Meanwhile, Lady Snow and Calvin Jr. were at home cleaning up from the awful fight. She wanted to be alone and needed to convince her son to leave. She felt awful for what he had done and regretted his involvement. Although she wanted him there, she soon realized that she had made a terrible mistake. She worried about the future of her family.

Calvin was on the floor cleaning up his father’s blood when Lady Snow approached him.

“Calvin, please leave that for me. I’ll clean it,” insisted Lady Snow.

“No, mom. I’ll take care of this,” said Calvin as he appeared to still be hurt from his actions.

“Everything will be okay,” consoled Lady Snow.

Calvin said nothing and continued to wipe the blood, only to smear it across the floor instead.

“Son, stop it. I said I’ll get it,” said Lady Snow as she commanded him to stop.

He looked up at her in anger.

“Mom, you’re sick and I’m not about to sit here and watch you scrub this floor,” replied Calvin.

“Exactly, Calvin! Because you’re not going to be here at all. I need some time to myself right now, Calvin, and you need to get your mind off of what happened here today. Go out and get some fresh air. Don’t worry about me, I’m going to be just fine,” stated Lady Snow.

“No, Momma.”

“Calvin, go,” Lady Snow pointed to the door.

Calvin stood up and walked over towards his mother. They embraced and he kissed Lady Snow on her cheek. He then turned and walked to the front door.

“Mom, I’ll be over Savannah’s if you need me,” said Calvin as he walked out.

Lady Snow reacted out of emotions when she packed up Pastor Snow’s belongings and worried about his whereabouts. She began to carry the trash bags upstairs to their bedroom to unpack his clothes. Although she was angry, her heart wouldn’t allow her to accept his situation. She wanted so badly to be proven wrong because she discerned something in her spirit didn’t sit well with her discussion.

Lady Snow continued to clean her house. She prayed and cleaned, cleaned and prayed, while she listened to some worship music to soothe her soul. After she finished unpacking Pastor Snow’s clothes, she remembered the blood stained floor that she still had to wipe. As she knelt down to clean the smeared blood that Calvin Jr. left behind, she began to notice a puddle that had formed on the ceramic tiled floor from her tears.

She continued to clean the floor until she could see her reflection. Impressed that she had so much energy, she was motivated to clean the whole house which was something that she hadn’t done since she started her chemotherapy. She made her way into Pastor’s Snow office with an empty trash bag. As she entered his office, she realized that there was nothing to clean.

Lady Snow decided to simply empty the trash can and not touch anything else. As she dumped all the garbage into the trash bag, she couldn’t help but to notice the wrinkled envelope sitting on Pastor Snow’s desk. It was placed directly in front of his briefcase as if he had forgotten to put it away. The return address was from Tara Harris and Lady Snow had not read the suicide letter.

Because Pastor Snow was extremely protective of it, she often would wonder what it actually said. She could not pass up the opportunity to do so. She pulled the letter from out of the envelope and noticed a check for $500,000 along with it.

Lady Snow was baffled. She realized why Pastor Snow had acted so strangely and had been so desperate to witness in unsuitable places. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach because she knew exactly who Shelia Harris was.

Chapter 13

Comfort

Calvin laid his head across Savannah’s lap. She sat in shock after the news that Calvin had hit his father and Lady Snow had kicked him out.

“Thank you for listening, Baby, I really appreciate it,” said Calvin, as he turned to look up at Savannah.

“That’s what I’m here for,” replied Savannah.

“I just don’t know what to do now. I have never raised my voice at my father and today I punched him. He may never talk to me again,” said Calvin.

“Baby, I know all of this is hard to grasp, but this too shall pass. Once things calm down I’m sure that you and Pastor Snow will be able to work things out,” claimed Savannah as she rubbed his head.

Calvin stretched his neck towards Savannah and went in for a passionate kiss. Savannah could not resist and continued to kiss Calvin. From the way Savannah kissed him back, Calvin wondered about Luke and Isaac.

“Where are the boys?” Calvin asked.

“Ashton asked for them to stay over tonight,” replied Savannah.

“Really?” asked Calvin.

“She said that she wanted to spend some time with them before she had her baby,” responded Savannah, as Calvin continued to kiss her and interrupt her words.

“That was nice of her,” replied Calvin.

“Nice for her or nice for you, Mr. Snow,” added Savannah with a grin.

“It’s nice for us,” replied Calvin.

Savannah said nothing and sighed.

“I need you, Savannah. I need you, Mrs. Snow,” Calvin began to kiss Savannah’s neck and unbutton her blouse.

Savannah got goose bumps all over her body and allowed Calvin to continue to seduce her. She wanted to be there for him but was disappointed that she could not resist him. Calvin stood up and guided Savannah into her bedroom.

A million thoughts began to run through Savannah’s mind as she sat on the edge of the bed and watched Calvin lock the bedroom door. Calvin found comfort in Savannah and she failed to keep her promise to herself and God. They made love twice that night and their conviction was present as the sun began to rise.

Chapter 14

Moment of truth

“Good morning, beautiful!” said Calvin, as he gazed into Savannah’s eyes.

“Good morning, Calvin,” Savannah replied with a sense of awkwardness.

“Why are you looking at me strangely, Savannah?” asked Calvin.

“Because we messed up, Calvin,” replied Savannah.

“I know, but I needed that. I really needed you,” said Calvin.

“No Baby, you needed God,” said Savannah.

“See, here you go. Why do you always have to be so deep? You remind me of that crazy lady Mary that you used to live next door to, or one of those sisters at my church,” expressed Calvin.

“Are you kidding me? Calvin, I’m not being deep. I’m being real with you. We messed up, point, blank, period,” indicated Savannah as she was interrupted by the knock at her door.

Savannah jumped up and began to search around for her clothes. She struggled to find something to throw on. She threw on a pair of dirty jeans that were on the floor beneath her feet, grabbed a shirt, and raced toward the door in a panic.

“Savannah, why are you running to the door?” asked Calvin.

“Because it’s Ashton with the boys,” replied Savannah franticly.

“Ok, but calm down,” suggested Calvin as he put on his clothes.

“Calm down? Calvin, I don’t want her to know that you stayed here overnight,” said Savannah.

“I can’t believe you. Savannah, you’re a grown woman here with your fiancé and you’re tripping about Ashton knowing that I stayed over. Whatever, Savannah. And about your comment, I agree. We did mess up,” Calvin walked passed Savannah to the door and opened it with an attitude.

“Hey, Ashton,” said Calvin as he walked out of the door and patted both Luke and Isaac on their heads.

Savannah stood at the door and looked past Ashton and the boys at Calvin as he got into his car and left. Savannah was crushed. She was overwhelmed with disappointment and guilt. Everything between her and Calvin had been great up until that point and he walked out on her, leaving her to simmer in her righteousness which was a filthy as rags.

“What’s up with him?” asked Ashton as she entered Savannah’s townhouse and wobbled from side to side.

“We just got into an argument. But how are you Ms. ‘Due-Any-Day-Now’?” giggled Savannah as she tried to change the subject.

“An argument? Are you sure that it wasn’t a makeup session instead?” asked Ashton, winking at Savannah.

“Why do you say that?” asked Savannah as she turned on the television to distract the boys from being in her conversation.

“Well, because your pants are inside out and you have a passion mark on your neck,” commented Ashton as she began to laugh at how foolish Savannah looked.

“Ashton, I’m not perfect and I’m going to leave it at that,” admitted Savannah, as she turned to go back into her bedroom to change.

Once inside her bedroom, she immediately picked up her cell phone to call Calvin to apologize for her behavior. She felt horrible for not taking responsibility for their intimate night. Her pride didn’t want her to believe that her flesh actually desired him too. She called Calvin several times and was sent to voicemail each time. She knew that Calvin was upset with her and decided to wait until he calmed down to contact him again. After last night, she knew that waiting was the right thing to do.

Chapter 15

I’m Here for You

Calvin was upset with Savannah and had a lot of mixed emotions about his parents. Guilt played heavily on his conscience and he couldn’t help but think about his father. Instead of going home, Calvin decided to check on his mother. He arrived at his parent’s home and realized that his father’s car was gone. Reality had settled in, Pastor Snow had not come home and Calvin was not used to that circumstance. He parked his car in his father’s parking spot and prayed before he got out of the car. He walked up to the front door and let himself in with the same house key that he had been given when he was 14 years old.

Calvin walked inside and noticed that his mother was not in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in hand as she read the newspaper. In fact, she was nowhere to be seen and it was not like her to stay in bed and sleep in. Calvin searched and called her by name throughout the house, but received no answer. Typically, Calvin would never enter his parent’s room, which was a house rule from childhood, but he decided to enter regardless. Calvin knocked and entered the room all at the same time. He saw his mother still in the bed and she appeared to be very weak.

Meanwhile, Pastor Snow was in his hotel room, stretched out on the floor. He was exhausted from praying all night and had not expected to fall asleep on the floor before God. His mind was clear and he knew exactly what his next step would be.

Without hesitation, Pastor Snow grabbed his cell phone to call Candy. The phone rang and rang. Finally her pimp answered. Pastor Snow spent nearly 20 minutes begging and pleading to speak with Candy, but her pimp refused to allow her to speak. The phone hung up on him and he began to pray once again. He felt in his heart that finding Candy wasn’t in vain, he getting kicked out of the house wasn’t in vain, and the fight with Calvin wasn’t in vain. Suddenly, he heard his phone ring. He looked at the phone and noticed that it was Calvin.

“Hello, Calvin.”

“Dad, I came over to check on mom and she was really sick. I didn’t know what to do. She was shaking and her temperature was really high. I called 911 and the ambulance took her, Dad,” Calvin said in a panic.

“Ok, Ok, settle down. Where are you?”

“I’m behind the ambulance in my car.”

“Ok, I’m on my way” insisted Pastor Snow as he grabbed his keys from the night stand.

“Dad, please hurry up, I have never seen mom this sick before.”

“OK, Son, I’m coming. I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Pastor Snow rushed off of the phone.

Pastor Snow made his way out of the hotel room, when he remembered to grab his trash bag. He was determined not to spend another night there. He shut the door and began to speed-walk through the hallways of the hotel towards his car. His heart was pounding hard and he could tell that Calvin was not over-exaggerating when he called.

Pastor Snow felt terrible for not being there with his wife. He hated all the drama that he had caused and prayed that he could get his family back together. He dreaded the fight that he had with his wife and would not be able to forgive himself if she died. His heart ached and his mind was cluttered as he hurried to be with his love.

Pastor Snow was almost to the hospital when his phone rang. He looked at his phone and it was an unfamiliar number. He normally would reject an unknown number but decided to answer it in case it was the hospital trying to reach him.

“Hello?”

“Mr. C? So you’re a preacher?”

“Candy!” Acknowledged Pastor Snow. He was shocked to hear from her and smiled once he heard her voice. Although she had called him back at a bad time, he felt obligated to speak with her because he knew that it could be his last time.

“Yes, I am. Is everything okay? I apologize for causing a scene,” indicated Pastor Snow.

“Don’t worry about that. It’s all part of the game. Sometimes people get caught. It’s always a scene once angry wives, children, or employers catch their men with me,” giggled Candy.

“Candy, that was my son who you saw at the hotel.” He paused, the time had come. “That was your brother,” announced Pastor Snow.

“What are you talking about?” Candy was confused and bewildered.

“Candice, I’m your father,” cried Pastor Snow as tears built up in his eyes with fear and relief.

Candy started to breathe heavily over the phone.

“Mr. C, why would you think something crazy like that?”

“Please don’t call me Mr. C. My name is Calvin Snow Sr. and your twin sister Tara led me to find you. I didn’t know any other way to get close to you. Therefore I became your client,” replied Pastor Snow with tears now falling from his eyes, overwhelmed with emotions.

“Are you serious? You sick bastard. My sister is dead and you are not my father. Stay away from me,” instructed Candy.

“Look, Candy, I don’t want to cause any confusion in your life. If you want to talk about all of this, I encourage you to come by my office at the church on 6th St. You also have my number…,” but the phone hung up before he could finish his statement.

Pastor Snow was discouraged but could not dwell on the outcome with Candy, as he had arrived at the hospital. He called Calvin but got no answer. He then walked into the hospital and was instantly aware of the eerie feeling. He approached the information desk and before he could ask for assistance, his phone rang. It was Calvin.

“Hey, Son, where are you?”

“Mom is in the ICU and I’m here in the waiting room. They won’t let me see her.”

“I’m headed there as we speak. I’ll see you in a minute,” replied Pastor Snow.

He hung up the phone with Calvin and continued to follow the signs towards the elevator. He pressed the button to the elevator and the wait reminded him of the hotel lobby where he used to visit Candy. Pastor Snow remembered questioning his actions. And then he snapped out of the flashback as the elevator door dinged and opened.

As the elevator door opened, a group of people started to exit. He couldn’t help but notice a young, attractive woman as she pushed her husband in his wheelchair with pride. The woman’s husband was in his hospital gown, had a mask over his nose and mouth, and had lost all of his hair due to what appeared to be cancer.

Pastor Snow was inspired by the young couple who passed him in the elevator; his strength was renewed and his spirit lifted. He was inside of the elevator and pressed the corresponding button to the second floor. He was confident and ready to face his family. The elevator door opened and he saw Calvin Jr. sitting by himself in the waiting room. Calvin looked terribly tired and eyes were red with grief. Pastor Snow walked towards Calvin with his arms opened wide. Calvin Jr. stood up and embraced his father.

“Dad. I, I…” Calvin sighed as he buried his head in his father’s shoulder.

“It’s ok, Son. I have already forgiven you,” replied Pastor Snow while he patted Calvin on his head with comfort.

Pastor Snow lifted Calvin’s head and grabbed his face to look into his eyes.

“Son, we’re going to be ok. Remember that God’s plans are perfect,” smiled Pastor Snow.

“The doctor will be out soon,”  Calvin as he was released from his father.

“Ok, great. I’ll go check on your mother if they’re not out here within five minutes.”

“Dad, I found this as I was checking mom’s temperature.” Calvin placed the wrinkled letter in Pastor Snow’s hand.

Pastor Snow starred at the letter with shock.

“So you and your mother both know?”

“Yes, Sir, I read it as I waited for the ambulance. I understand now.”

“Calvin, I’m sorry to put you all through this.”

“So that woman was my sister?” asked Calvin.

“It seems to appear that way, Son. This is all new to me too.”

Just as Calvin and Pastor Snow went to take their seats, they noticed that a doctor appeared to be headed in their direction. Pastor Snow immediately stood back up and was greeted by the physician.

“You must be Mr. Snow?” asked the young doctor whose face was red as a beet.

“Yes, I am! Is my wife alright?” asked Pastor Snow with extreme concern.

“No, I’m afraid not. Apparently her last round of chemo didn’t work as we had predicted. Her white blood cells are extremely low and she is not well enough for us to continue treatment. I’m sorry, Mr. Snow.”

“You’re sorry? What does that mean? So if she cannot get any further treatment, what are we supposed to do?” asked Pastor Snow.

“You pray and call your family to come see her in the meantime,” replied the young doctor.

“NO! Please tell me that there something else that you can do?” pleaded Pastor Snow.

The young doctor said nothing as his eyes fell to the ground.

Pastor Snow began to fall to the ground, but was caught by Calvin.

“No, God. Not my baby. Please, Lord, not like this,” cried out Pastor Snow in front of Calvin and the other waiting room guests.

Calvin walked Pastor Snow over to a nearby chair and sat him down. The doctor continued to watch and was speechless until Calvin looked up at him and nodded his head with thanks.

“Whenever you’re ready, you can see Mrs. Snow.”

“Doc, does she know? Have you told her everything?” asked Calvin.

“Yes! She’s aware of your current condition. In fact, she laughed and began to hum as if no one was in the room with her. She an amazing woman. And her faith is unmeasurable,” said the doctor before he turned and walked away.

Calvin continued to comfort his father just as he was comforted when his late wife Katrina died in that awful car accident. A broken family, reunited in grief.

Pastor Snow walked into the hospital room, and his lovely wife was laying in the bed fragile and weak. Her beauty was radiant and her heart filled the room with a warm embrace.

“Hello, my Lady,” smiled Pastor Snow as he entered.

“Hey, Baby,” whispered Lady Snow.

“Is Calvin with you?” inquired Lady Snow in a concerned manner.

“Calvin is in the hallway, he’ll be in to see you in a few minutes,” replied Pastor Snow. He could not bring himself to tell her that Calvin was actually contacting their closest friends and family. Pastor Snow began to change the subject.

“Baby, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for not being with you,” cried Pastor Snow with grief and disappointment.

“No, I should have listened to my heart, Calvin Sr. I felt that your heart was in the right place, but could not make sense of everything that was going on. So I prayed and prayed, and God allowed me to find that letter from Tara. Once I read it, it all made sense,” suggested Lady Snow.

“I didn’t know how to tell you. The timing was never right,” responded Pastor Snow in shame.

“God’s timing is always right,” replied Lady Snow as she caressed Pastor Snow’s hand to offer him comfort.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to get a DNA test.”

“There’s no need for that. I saw a picture of that girl in your phone,” laughed Lady Snow as she admitted to snooping through his cell phone.

“At the time, I had no idea who she was. After reading that letter, I put two and two together. I soon realized that the girl I saw in your phone, was indeed your daughter. She looks just like you. She’s beautiful. You always wanted a daughter and I prayed that God would give us one. I also prayed that God would bring another woman into your life, when my assignment here on earth was completed,” mumbled Lady Snow.

Pastor Snow laid his head on her chest and wept as Calvin entered the room.

“Hey, Baby Boy!” grinned Lady Snow with delight to see that her son.

“Hey, Mom!” replied Calvin, touched by seeing his parents reunited.

“Sorry to have scared you,” stated Lady Snow in concern.

“You didn’t scare me, Mom. I just wanted to get you the help that you needed,” replied Calvin as he struggled to hold back his tears.

“Where is that sweet Savannah and those precious boys?” Lady Snow closed her eyes.

“They’re on their way up here to see you, Momma,” replied Calvin as he answered his mother with mixed emotions.

“Ok, that’s great! Calvin before anyone arrives, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, Mom. What’s up?” Calvin asked in curiosity.

“Your father and I have been together for a very long time, and we love each other very much. But we have not always been saved, Calvin, and we have made some terrible mistakes. We were divorced once,” exclaimed Lady Snow. Calvin quickly glanced and his father for validation.

“It’s true, Calvin. We agreed that we would never discuss it with you. There was never a reason to mention it,” added Pastor Snow.

“Calvin, your father started going to church and I was not interested at all. Our lives started going into two different directions. I filed for divorce once I realized that he was serious about giving his life to God. I felt as if I wasn’t good enough for him. Therefore I let him go. I didn’t want to hold him back. After we divorced he started dating a church girl. I can still remember how jealous that made me. Those church women flocked all around him,” laughed Lady Snow.

“Son, I was vulnerable. I got that woman pregnant and she wanted me to marry her. She wanted to cover up our sin. I had just applied for seminary school and I had to be honest with myself. I could not afford to live a lie. I did not love that woman and I refuse to take her hand in marriage. The woman was outraged and told me that since I wouldn’t marry her, she was having an abortion. That’s was the last that I heard from her, until I received that suicide letter. In that letter, I discovered that she was pregnant with twins and never actually had an abortion. I prayed for years to be forgiven for breaking her heart and for what I thought was an abortion. After I finished seminary school, your mother had given her life to the Lord and we remarried. We had you shortly after.” Pastor Snow felt the weight of the world being lifted off of his shoulders.

Calvin was speechless and was in disbelief that he never knew about his parent’s history together.

Before anyone could elaborate further, Savannah walked into the hospital room. She smiled and greeted everyone with compassion. As she sat next to Calvin, she adjusted her collar to hide the passion mark that he had so boldly placed upon her neck.

“Hello, my beautiful daughter-in-law,” Pastor Snow stated to lighten the mood.

“Hello, Pastor,” replied Savannah was she continued to adjust her collar.

Calvin instantly became annoyed by her awkward behavior. He began to roll his eyes and flare up his nostrils.

“Are you serious, Savannah?” Calvin asked as he lost his patience and was also bothered by the news that his parents had previously shared with him.

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about Calvin?” Savannah asked, confused and embarrassed that Calvin would raise his voice to her in front of his parents.

“You know what I’m talking about. We’re engaged and you’re sitting here in front of my dying mother, more concerned about your little reputation and people seeing your passion mark. That’s what I’m talking about,” insinuated Calvin with little to no regards for Savannah’s feeling.

“Boy, that’s enough,” commanded Pastor Snow with authority in his voice.

Savannah stood up with embarrassment written all over her and politely excused herself. As she left the room crying, Calvin was confronted with the disappointment in his parent’s eyes.

“Calvin, I’m not sure what’s going on. However, Savannah is a good girl and I’m sure that you had a lot to do with that passion mark being placed on her neck. How dare you call her out like that? You’re exactly angry that she’s not okay with it displaying a passion mark,” commented Pastor Snow as he began to rub his eyes in frustration. “Calvin, a lot is going on right now and your mother doesn’t need all of this drama. Go get Savannah and fix whatever it is that you have done.”

“Your father’s right. She’s a sweet girl. Don’t push her away,” gently advised Lady Snow as Calvin sat pondering on what his parents had told him.

“I’ll be right back,” replied Calvin as he dashed towards the hallway to find Savannah.

Chapter 16

Till Death Do Us Part

Calvin slowly approached Savannah as she sat off by herself. She sat lifelessly, Indian style on the floor up against the wall. Calvin noticed her distant demeanor and instantly desired to make things right with her. Savannah turned her head towards Calvin as he continued to walk towards her.

“You’re a good woman, Savannah,” admitted Calvin as he sat on the floor next to her. He put his arm behind her waist and began to pull her closer to him. Calvin laid his head on her shoulder and watched the hospital staff walk past them endlessly.

“Calvin, I hate that you have to endure so much, but you cannot continue to take everything out on me. I’m here for you. You have to forgive yourself and allow yourself to heal. You are not responsible for Katrina’s death. I know that you loved your wife, but you push me away just like you did with her. Bitterness and guilt is all over you. I’m not going to sit here and bash you, but you need to look at yourself, Calvin. You just humiliated me in front of your parents. Of course, I’m uncomfortable walking around here with a passion mark on my neck. But it’s all about you, right? You will respect me, Calvin. I know you’re hurting; however, there must be another way of dealing with your issues,” expressed Savannah as she began to cry.

Calvin understood every word that came from her mouth, but most importantly he heard her heart.

“Savannah, you’re right, it’s just that I’m so scared to lose you and at times I don’t feel like I deserve you. Just now, as you were talking, I began to think about what you’ve been through. You’re such a strong woman and I admire you because it has not made you a bitter person. You’ve lost both of your parents, you’re a widow, and a single parent. I sometimes get upset because your strength magnifies my weaknesses. You definitely make me a better man, Savannah. There has been a lot of pressure from my family, but you always show me the positive side of every situation. A lot is going on baby. My mother is about to die, I just discovered that I have a sister who’s a prostitute, and that my parents were once divorced. My whole life has been a lie,” stated Calvin as he looked into Savannah’s eyes for comfort.

“Honey, your life is not a lie. Things are revealed in their own timing. God’s timing is perfect,” suggested Savannah as she placed her tiny hand atop of Calvin’s to calm and to assure.

“Timing is perfect? Savannah, I’m about to ask you a crazy question,” exclaimed Calvin in a deviant manner.

“Okay, go ahead. Should I be afraid of what you’re about to say?” Savannah pulled her hand away from Calvin and placed it onto her thigh.

“Savannah, let’s get married now. Let’s do it here right now. My mother will be at our wedding. I want my mother to be there, Baby. What do you think?” asked Calvin with extreme enthusiasm in his voice.

“Are you serious?” Savannah asked rhetorically, her heart as confused as her mind.

“Of course I’m serious. Baby, let’s do it! Time is not on my mother’s side and I want to do things the right way. Besides your goods are definitely good and I want to buy that cow,” replied Calvin, smirking as he spoke.

“Oh my goodness, shut up!” Savannah began blushing.

“Savannah, you’re an amazing woman of God and I don’t want to cause you to stumble. I want you. All of you. I’d love it if mother could be there to witness our union,” Calvin explained with a sincere heart. Savannah’s head spun violently, mixing emotions of fear and happiness into an intoxicating cocktail of anxiety. Without further hesitation, she replied, “Let’s do it!”

“Really?” reassured Calvin.

“Yes, Baby, I’d love for your mother to be there to witness our union,” replied Savannah, her eyes glistening with tears.

Savannah then grabbed Calvin’s chin and pulled him towards her, passionately kissing his trembling lips.

Savannah and Calvin stood up and both were really excited. They began to go their separate ways to prepare for the wedding. Savannah blew a kiss to Calvin as she began to inform her friends and family of the good news and Calvin rushed to his mother’s hospital room.

“Dad, Dad!” gasped Calvin as he entered the hospital room out of breath.

“What is it, Calvin? What’s wrong?” asked Pastor Snow as he wrinkled his forehead.

“Savannah and I have decided to get married,” Calvin said with excitement.

“Boy, what are you talking about? You’re engaged, of course you will be getting married,” replied Pastor Snow with a confused look on his face.

“Dad, will you marry us today?” asked Calvin, still out of breath, his hands on his knees for support.

“Today? Are you for real, Calvin?” asked Pastor Snow for clarification. Lady Snow opened her eyes and Calvin walked over to her.

“Momma, you and dad have been through a lot and I want what you two have. I want you to be here when I take Savannah to be my wife. Momma you don’t have much time left; we would like to get married today,” explained Calvin while he wiped away his mother’s tears.

“Well, I guess ya’ll made up,” exclaimed Pastor Snow and everyone began to laugh.

“Okay, so I guess we’re about to have a wedding today. Where is Savannah?” asked Pastor Snow.

“She went to get the boys and to get herself together, I guess,” Calvin laughed because he wasn’t exactly sure what her plans were.

“You two need to get your marriage license while you’re at it,” suggested Pastor Snow as tears ran down his face from laughter. Calvin kissed Lady Snow on her forehead and ran out of the room in a panic. Lady Snow and Pastor Snow continued to laugh together until her laughter turned into a cry—at the very moment they both realized that she was actually dying.

Four hours had passed and the time had come. Calvin and Savannah were prepared to be united as one. All of their close friends and family had gathered in the hospital’s chapel. Calvin stood tall in his favorite Stacey Adams suit at the front of the Chapel with his childhood friend Ryan by his side as his best man. The attendance was great and a lot of the church members were already present from visiting Lady Snow.

Savannah couldn’t believe it. She had prepared for her wedding day in less than five hours and was about to walk down the aisle. Her wedding day couldn’t have been more perfect. She looked around her and her eyes filled with tears as she saw some of the most important people in her life. The moment was priceless and time stood still.

Her former neighbors LeAnn, Mary, and Ashton were there and assisted Savannah while she prepared for her grand entrance. Mary dressed Luke and Isaac in their last year’s Easter suits, while LeAnn applied makeup to Savannah’s already beautiful face. Ashton sat on the edge of the countertop and watched the festivities with her swollen feet. Savannah was in a public restroom that was located in the main lobby of the hospital. The traffic into the restroom didn’t stop. Every person who entered the restroom left without a dry eye once they realized what was about to take place.

The time had come and Savannah was ready to walk out. She looked flawless with Luke and Isaac on each side of her. Her makeup was gorgeous, her hair was perfect yet simple and her dress was fabulous. She couldn’t believe that she found the perfect dress from a local bridal shop and that no alterations needed to be made.

All part of God’s plan, she thought to herself.

Butterflies filled Savannah’s stomach as she walked down the hallway of the hospital. The hospital guests turned, stared, and clapped as she and her boys walked passed them. Savannah approached the chapel and waited as LeAnn, Mary, and Ashton entered in before her. Savannah waited a few more minutes then entered into the chapel with the boys.

As she walked in, the guests gasped and the silent air was filled with tears of joy and enchantment. Calvin’s eyes lit up as Savannah walked towards him in her beautiful gown. She reached the front of the chapel and was shocked to see how many people were in attendance. Just as Calvin took her hand, Pastor Snow stared afar and everyone turned to see what had captivated him. Lady Snow was weak and fragile but her smile still demanded the attention of everyone who crossed her path. The nurse pushed Lady Snow in her wheelchair to the front of the chapel and placed her beside Savannah.

The union was surreal, the wedding perfect, the moment unforgettable.

Chapter 17

Rebound

It had been a long two weeks and everyone in the Snow family was drained. Lady Snow had visitors who had come to see her around the clock. The ICU waiting room was filled daily with family and friends. Pastor Snow began to reminisce and became overwhelmed with emotions as he thought about his wife’s illness. He knew that he would have to learn a whole new life without her and was no longer in denial that she was gone.

Pastor Snow sipped his coffee while he pulled up to the church to have a normal work day. As he parked, he looked to the right of him at Lady’s Snow reserve parking place and sighed as he placed his thermal coffee cup into the cup holder. Although he desired to have a normal day at work, nothing was normal about his morning. His coffee tasted burnt and he arrived at the church office an hour earlier because he had no one to talk to at home. He sat in his car and just waited. Unsure why he decided to not get out, he continued to sit.

Pastor Snow finally was ready to enter the church after having sat in his car for nearly 20 minutes. He opened his car door and began to walk toward the church office. As he approached the door he heard someone weeping. He began to follow the sound that led him to the main parking lot, where he saw a woman sitting on the ground with her head between her legs. He walked a little closer and was surprised to see that it was his daughter Candice.

“Candice?” asked Pastor Snow as he approached her.

She looked up and smiled with delight.

“I’ve found you! I’ve sat outside of your church for two days and hoped that I’d run into you.”

Pastor Snow hugged Candice and invited her into the church. Candice looked around like a child in a museum on her way to Pastor Snow’s office.

“Wow, so this is your church?”

“Well, it’s God’s church. He just allows me to teach here,” replied Pastor Snow with his spirit lifted and he took a detour into the sanctuary.

“I’m sorry that I hung up on you.”

“But you found me,” replied Pastor Snow.

“I didn’t want to believe you, but it didn’t dawn on me until I hung up that you called me, Candice.”

“Ok, dear, what are you suggesting?”

“I never told you my real name or that I had a sister.”

“Candice, I am your father and I’d like to invite you into my life. You are my daughter, you are my seed,” Pastor Snow took a seat on the pew in the front row of the sanctuary.

“But I don’t fit into your life.”

“You fit in more than you realize. Candice, my wife died five days ago and she prayed that God would send a woman into my life. He sent me a daughter. He sent you to me.”

Pastor Snow continued to tell Candice everything about the relationship that he once had with her mother. He told her about the letter from Tara and he told her what lengths he went to, to find her. Candice could not believe what she heard.

She bent over and cried out to the Lord as she began to peel off her false eye lashes. She began to press firmly on her stomach as if a demonic spirit had left her body. Candice cried.

“I want a new life. I can’t live like this anymore,” Candice walked up to the altar, knelt down, and humbled herself in the presence of God. Before she knew it, she had given her life to the Lord. Pastor Snow wept with her and rejoiced throughout the sanctuary in victory.

“Candice, God has given you a new life. You’re a new creature and all things have passed away and are new for you.”

“I’m scared. I have nothing and nowhere to go. My pimp took everything from me. When I left, he told me that I’d be back.”

“The devil is a lie, Candice. You don’t have to go to him for anything. I’m your father and I’m here for you always. I’m going to help you get back on your feet and you’re going to have more than the world had to offer you. Candice, God will take care of you. You no longer have to worry.

“I believe that. I truly believe that in my heart,” replied Candice.

“Are you clean? Because if you want my help you’ll have to be clean” quizzed Pastor Snow.

“They kept me high all the time,”  Candice started to rub her swollen eyelids in shame.

“I’m going to send you to rehab, Darling. I’m going to help you beat this mess,” Pastor Snow heart shattered into thousands of pieces.

The princess who he had always desired and yearned to protect was now a grown woman and the world had misused her, prostituted her, and left her drugged and emotionally scorn. A million thoughts ran throughout his mind and he had become drained.

Then suddenly he was interrupted by the entrance of Deacon Randolph. Pastor Snow looked at him with reservation and anticipated what controversy Deacon Randolph had stirred up.

“Pastor!” yelled Deacon Randolph as he continued to walked down the middle aisle of the sanctuary.

“Praise the Lord, Deacon Randolph! This is my daughter Candice who I mentioned to you in our last meeting. She has just given her life to the Lord,” Pastor Snow pointed his index finger towards Candice proudly. Candice began to pull herself together and stood up to embrace her father. As Candice turned to face Pastor Snow, he couldn’t help but notice how Deacon Randolph stood stiff as a brick once he had seen Candice’s face.

“Deacon Randolph, meet my daughter, Candice.”

Deacon Randolph failed to look Candice in her eyes and nodded his head to her as a greeting. The air grew thick and dense within the sanctuary, as if God himself breathed upon the windows. Something was not right….

“We have already met,” replied Candice.

Pastor Snow looked at Candice and then glanced back at Deacon Randolph.

“Candice, please wait in my office for me,”  he pointed her in the appropriate direction. Candice walked away saddened, realizing that her new life would still be influenced by the scars of her past.

“Look here, Deacon, I’m not exactly sure how you met my daughter and honestly I’m not interested in knowing, but what I do know is that when people accuse others of something, a lot of times they’re the guilty party. With that being said, I’m just a man and you answer to God and God alone. Now if you would please excuse me, I need to get back to my daughter.”

Pastor Snow turned his back towards Deacon Randolph and walked away. Deacon Randolph looked at his wedding ring and felt the conviction of his past behavior like a ton of bricks upon his shoulders.

Meanwhile, Pastor Snow had joined Candice in his office.

“Candice, I apologize for what just happened.”

“That’s why I never went to church. It’s as if everyone is fake and there to impress people,” said Candice out of frustration.

“Exactly! Candice you hit the nail on the head. These people are sick, right?” asked Pastor Snow.

“I guess,” replied Candice with a confused looked on her face.

“The church is a hospital, Candice. Everyone who walks through the doors of the church is sick. The difference between those in church and people in the streets is that they’re no longer in denial. They understand how sick they actually are and that they need a savior because they cannot heal themselves. No one is better than the next person,” explained Pastor Snow with passion.

“No one ever explained it to me like that before. But you must know that I know that man from my past,” Candice admitted with fear in her voice as it trembled.

“We all have a past. It’s now up to you if you allow others to define you by it. When people remind you of your past, you need to remind them of your future and Candice your future is greater than your past,” Pastor Snow handed Candice a letter addressed to her.

“What’s this?”  Candice noticed her name on the written envelope.

Pastor Snow remained silent and gestured her to open it. It read:

Dear Candice,

I have heard about you and I know that you must be confused about a lot of things that have happened in your life. Sometimes we may not understand God’s plan, but the important thing is that He had one for us. God’s plan for me was to finish my work on earth before my husband. I knew that my departure would be hard for him and I prayed that he would find comfort not only in God but in someone.

Candice, you are the answer to my prayers. Pastor Snow now has the daughter that he has always wanted and that I was not able to give him. If you’re reading this letter then you must be open to getting to know your father and your brother.

Candice, we welcome you with open arms. I thank God for you and your courage to live beyond your past.

As I write this letter to you, the family is preparing for your brother Calvin’s wedding and although you’re not here, you must know that one day your father eagerly desires to walk you down the aisle.

You have no idea how much you are loved. I pray that you and your father continue to bond.

Whatever you need and is within his limits, go to your father. And the things that he cannot help you with, don’t be discouraged because your Heavenly Father is there. Take one step at a time my love.

Sincerely Rose Snow.

PS. Your mother would be extremely proud of you.

Conclusion

Sometimes we may not understand what God is doing in our lives, but it’s important to know that GOD IS IN CONTROL. God will strategically allow certain things to occur in our lives to help us to become the person who we are meant to be.

It’s amazing how people will turn their backs on you whenever you’re going through something that others may not be able to understand or relate to.

You may find a time in your life when there is no one to turn to but God. That can be a lonely feeling. However, it’s the best feeling. Knowing that God is there for you through anything and everything.

Pastor Snow found himself in that desperate place in life. No one understood what he was going through, in fact, he didn’t understand either. He thought that God was destroying his family, when, in all actuality, God was completing it.

Blessings come in many forms. I’m sure that you can think of a challenging time in your life when you couldn’t make sense of it, but over time, you may have realized that it was a blessing in disguise.

This book dealt with many dynamics and it is the reality of many people. How many people have had a long lost child? Or maybe were like Savannah who slept with someone out of obligation or fear of rejection.

She wanted to be married and found herself bending to what pleased Calvin instead of keeping her promise to God.

Have you ever compromised what you believed? The flesh is no punk and plays no games with you.

If you’re not spiritually strong, you will fall for the enemy’s tricks every time.

Pastor Snow once struggled with pornography, but because he prayed and fasted, he was able to go into unfavorable environments and not be tempted.

Strengthen yourself in the Lord so that you can go anywhere that He sends you.

About the Author

Who is Marita Kinney?

Marita L Kinney is an Amazon Best-Selling Author and a woman of many talents. A published Author, Life Coach and Motivational Speaker, Marita has inspired thousands of people to overcome adversity with triumph through faith and perseverance. While facing several life changing challenges herself, Marita had enough faith to conquer tribulations, coming out victorious. She is best known for her Christian Fiction novellas and heart felt inspirational books. Loving God with her whole heart, she has vowed to live a life of transparency winning souls to Christ with the realness of her journey and the relatability of her testimony. In March of 2009 Marita published her debut book entitled The Unspoken Walk”. Capturing the true essence of what it means to turn “lemons into lemonade”, she has taken the harsh lessons of life and developed a plan for successfully living. The Unspoken Walk has afforded Marita the opportunity to travel all over the country spreading the wonderful joys of her faith with anyone willing to hear it. That's where her journey began as a Life Coach. Supporters from across the country began seeking Mrs. Kinney inspiration and encouragement. Marita then furthered her education and obtained her certification for Life Coaching through The Life Purpose Institute and became Board Certified through The Center for Credentialing and Education (C.C.E), as an affiliate of the National Board for Certified Counselors.

Marita proved to be destined to spread God's word like her father, the late Bishop Westley C Robinson.  Marita is also wife of Comedian, Actor, and Saxophonist, Demoine Kinney. They are the proud parents of six children. She is also a successful business woman. Putting herself through college, Marita is a graduate of Ashworth University, obtaining two degrees, Business Administration and Human Resources Management.  She has established herself as a source of inspiration, influence, and encouragement to many women.  She is also a Advocate for The National Bone Marrow Donor Program, helping to educate minorities on the lack of minority donors and how it affects the community.  Marita has been selected by the National Association Of Professional Women as the 2010/2011 "Woman of the Year". With a heart to serve, she humbly allows God to direct her ministry going wherever the spirit of God leads her.

LISTEN TO HER TESTIMONY

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Snow Series:

Table of Contents

Copyright© 2013 by Marita Kinney.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Conclusion

About the Author

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