GETTING UNSTUCK

MOVING BEYOND WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK

(HOW TO CHANGE THE NEGATIVE PATTERNS

THAT RUIN YOUR LIFE)

GETTING UNSTUCK – Moving Beyond What’s Holding You Back.

Copyright © 2013 by Lilliet Garrison

Published by: Wisdom Brings Freedom Ministries

All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced without permission, except for brief quotations in books and critical reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, (NIV) copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1:LIFE IS MORE THAN A BOARD GAME

CHAPTER 2: WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK?

WORRY

DISTRACTIONS

LACK OF SELF CONTROL

A LOOSE TONGUE (The Words You Speak)

A POOR SELF IMAGE

FEAR OF FAILURE

FEELINGS OF REJECTION

PERFECTIONISM

A NEGATIVE, DEFEATIST ATTITUDE

A SUSPICIOUS MIND

INDECISION

PROCRASTINATION

SELFISHNESS

CHAPTER 3:THE SINS THAT KEEP US FROM WINNING OUR RACE

UNFORGIVENESS

A CRITICAL SPIRIT

A JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS SPIRIT

GREED

PRIDE

DECEIT

LUST AND GLUTTONY

UNBELIEF

ANGER

BITTERNESS

SLANDER AND GOSSIP

LOVE OF MONEY

IDOLATRY

SLOTH

ACTIONABLE STEPS TO TAKE:

AVOIDING PITFALLS

CHAPTER 4: HOW TO WIN YOUR RACE

CHAPTER 1

LIFE IS MORE THAN A BOARD GAME

“Run with determination the race that lies before us.” (Hebrews 12:1, TEV)

Trivial Pursuit was an enormously popular board game in the early 1980’s. The object of the game was to correctly answer basic knowledge and popular culture questions in order to win the game. Just as board games have an objective, so do our lives.

Those who repeatedly win understand the rules of the game and what leads to success. They think seriously about the outcome. They strategize on how to win. No one sits down to a board game hoping they will lose. Yet, countless people live their lives as if it were a board game with no final purpose. They play with no understanding of the rules or knowledge of the desired outcome.

Whether you realize it or not, your life has an objective, a purpose. Your objective was set by God and it is God who gives us the rules to the game. His instructions for winning are written in His Word. The Bible makes our objective clear: Discover His plan for our life and then wholeheartedly pursue it to win. God expects us to take seriously His objective for our life.

YOUR LIFE IS A RACE

The Bible describes our life as a race. This all-important pursuit demands determination to win the prize at the end. All races have obstacles, and runners who anticipate and steer clear of them are able to avoid falling. Falling in a race has serious consequences. If we’re down too long, we may not be able to complete the race, let alone win it.

Our Christian race begins the moment we receive Christ as Savior. Running to win, demands great endurance and the understanding that our race is a marathon and not a sprint. The key to this race is not in how fast we start, but in how consistently we run it.

Negative attitudes and sinful behaviors are obstacles to finishing our competition well. The very fact that the author of Hebrews writes that our race must be run with endurance, tells us that there’s danger in not finishing what we started.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV)

What are the obstacles to our faith? They are the things that hold us back and keep us ensnared. Encumbrances, entrapments, and sin hinder our race as they wrap around our feet and trip us up. If we don’t understand Satan’s strategy of keeping us from our finish line, we won’t steer clear of the obstacles he employs to keep us down.

LAY ASIDE THE THINGS THAT IMPEDE YOUR PROGRESS

Your outer world is a reflection of what’s going on in your inner world. That inner world is reflected in your thinking and actions and will determine, to a large degree, what you will draw to yourself.

Your perceived identity becomes extremely important, as it often determines what you believe you can and can’t accomplish in your lifetime.

As we accumulate life experience, there’s a tendency to allow negative experiences to define us. If you allow a faulty self-image to define you, then you will limit your future potential. Negative attitudes towards God and His goodness and an incorrect view of yourself, will keep you from running to win.

The deception that comes with wrong thinking becomes our baggage over time. We develop “issues” when we don’t have a correct understanding of God or a meaningful relationship with Him.

Even after becoming a Christian, it’s difficult to progress on our spiritual journey without clear knowledge of why God created us and for what purpose.  Out of immense love and desire, God created us to have a personal relationship with Him. Without wisdom and understanding of God’s true intentions towards us, we’ll get distracted by the iniquity that continually surrounds us. It’s easy to give our love to other things and people when we don’t understand how deeply God loves us and wants us as His own.

Personal sin hinders our relationship with God. Unless we learn that life is a race that God expects us to run with perseverance and endurance, the distractions of life will cause us to fall away.

Running with endurance requires knowing the demands of a marathon. The body and mind must be conditioned first. Daily practice produces strength as the runner adds more time and distance to her daily runs. In time, her body becomes strong and her mind becomes clear.

She has learned to endure. She’s grown consistently faster and is prepared for the day of the race. She has built up stamina and she knows she can win. She’s learned to push past the obstacles, injuries, and pain. She’s single minded. She’s persisted for months, perhaps years, to run the race of her lifetime. She’s taken the race seriously and is determined to win the gold.

Unless we condition our mind and body and prepare for the twists and turns of life, we will not endure. The Apostle Paul used metaphors of athletic competition and winning to illustrate how we’re to view our life.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:29-31)

This prize results in gaining something we can’t earn on our own merit. It’s the invitation and goodness of God reaching down to humanity to come and enjoy abundant life and eternity with Him. The believer has a beautiful eternal destination filled with infinite love, joy, family, tranquility, and glorious worship.

Heaven was designed by God as the eternal home for His children. It’s a magnificent place, as we’re surrounded by other believers who desire nothing more than to worship their Heavenly Father.

Those who don’t take seriously God’s call to each person to explore the purpose and customized, individual plan He has for them won’t inherit this coveted place. They don’t understand that a prize can be attained, or that a curse results for refusing to run the race at all.

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8)

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?

Encumbrances (hindrances), entanglements, and sin hold us back. They bruise and batter our self-image as we continually fall under their weight. They’re the things that sidetrack us and divert our attention, pulling us off the course God calls us to run.

Our unawareness of what’s hindering our race will keep us from finishing strong. To “lay aside every encumbrance” simply means to put off all that detracts us—every sin that would trip us.

For some it could be pride; for others, discouragement, idleness, apathy, greed, ambition, or sensuality.

For many of us it will be the sins we freely indulged in before we became Christians. When we don’t earnestly pursue our relationship with the Lord and seek, with diligence, to transform our mind through His Word, we may return to these same pitfalls. Until we grow in our faith and understanding, we’re susceptible to wandering.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

The Christian race will be a struggle for those who don’t see themselves as weak or in need. Not seeing ourselves clearly will hold us back.

Spiritual pride keeps many from asking God for the very help they’re in need of. When we acknowledge our weaknesses and ask God for His strength, He goes to work on us and make us more like Him. The more we ask Him and to help us develop a deeper love and reverence for Him, the more we’re able to finish our race and keep our eye on the trophy ahead.

Running with patience means we understand that we have weaknesses, but our focus is not solely on them. Our focus is on our confidence in God and how He strengthens us in spite of our failings. The Bible tells us that when we are weak—He is strong. With His strength, we’re able to endure to the finish line. He helps us to not grow faint, weary, or to give up. Paul said:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

We can draw encouragement by knowing multitudes have run the same race before us. From Heaven, these believers are cheering us on to persevere in our race, just as they did.

CHAPTER 2

WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK?

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25)

Serious competitors lay aside everything that holds them back, slows them down, or impedes their progress. The writer of Hebrews uses two words to describe obstacles to spiritual progress—hindrance (or encumbrance) and sin.

Hindrances: These are things that keep us from effectively living the Christian life. Often these are attitudes and beliefs we’ve collected from being in the world. They burden, weigh down, and impede our development and ability to mature in our Christian faith.

Sins: This is not sin in the general sense, but individual short-comings and specific areas of weakness that trip us up and hinder our relationship with God and others. They divide our focus, keep us off balance, and distract us from running our race.

“But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” (1 Tim 6:11, NIV)

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him.” (1 John 2:15-17, NIV)

Here’s the simple secret: “Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom your faith depends from beginning to end.” (Hebrews 12:1-2, TEV.)

THE HINDRANCES THAT HOLD US BACK:

WORRY

Worry is an encumbrance that grows heavier the more we give into it. Jesus said “do not worry.” He gave this command because He understood that everyone struggles when it comes to material things. Those who have much, are inclined to worry about keeping what they’ve acquired, and those who have little, worry about acquiring daily necessities. Jesus reminds both groups that it is God who provides, and through faith, they’re supplied:

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: the neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” (Luke 12:22-24)

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34)

We worry when we haven’t learned that life is more than getting our basic needs met. We worry when we don’t grasp that Jesus takes great pleasure in caring for us and supplying our daily needs.

For non-believers, worrying is natural since they are on their own without Christ. But once they know Jesus as their Savior, He is their source for all things; therefore, it makes no sense to worry.

Until we learn to trust God for our every day needs, we’ll take back the worry we experienced as non-Christians. If all of our time and focus are spent on working hard (labor), we have no time for God. Jesus wants us to seek Him—not our needs. He’ll take care of our needs when we take care to seek Him first.

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of life?” (Luke 12:25)

Worry is a sign of unbelief and a lack of faith! When we give our mind over to the natural concerns that all non-believers hold, we’re telling God we don’t trust Him to meet our needs. Christians demonstrate their faith in God by asking Him to supply their needs and trusting Him to answer their prayers.

“Don’t worry over anything whatever; whenever you pray tell God every detail of your needs in thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which surpasses human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

We become stable and peaceful when we rest in Jesus. This comes from within, not from our outward attempts at meeting our own needs. When we set our heart on acquiring material possessions, or worry about not having them, we live in insecurity.

If you’re a believer who feels insecure, then pursue the truth about Christ’s love and provision for you. Jesus died so you could enjoy His blessings and security.  His Word tells you so. Choose to believe it.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19, ESV)

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26)

God chooses us, we don’t choose Him. The calling He places on our lives enables us to live in abundant peace and joy. To reap this we must wean ourselves from our constant desire to acquire material goods. When we develop our relationship with Christ we become emotionally stable and cease to worry about our provision.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

DISTRACTIONS

Distractions encumber us as they misdirect us from God’s worthwhile goals. Paul said:

“I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to Heaven.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NLT)

Paul is reminding each of us that our energies must be spent on ONE THING…to forget the past and to press on to what God has for us.

Reliving the past is not living. Your past is a distraction that Satan uses to keep you from enjoying your relationship with the Lord. He additionally uses it to keep you from even enjoying the life Christ died to give you. He wants to keep you so distracted with concern that you have little effectiveness in God’s Kingdom.

Giving your past to Jesus and forgetting it as He does, frees you to experience the meaningful, productive, and joyful life He alone provides.

Paul was powerfully used by God because he refused to look back at his past life of grievous sin. He refused to be crippled by reliving those events. What was Paul’s secret? He focused on Christ, not himself. Paul didn’t define himself by his past performance, but by his present-day obedience to God.

God’s grace is available to all who will receive it. We can advance by taking hold of this truth personally. Paul is a superb example of someone who didn’t let his past, or the evil world around him, distract him from what mattered most. This is the secret to running our race well.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7).

The Bible also gives us an example of someone who didn’t fare as well. Lot spent many years with his Uncle Abraham and experienced first-hand his faith and principles. He witnessed his close relationship with the Lord and the many blessings that resulted from his choice to remain faithful to God.

After Lot and Abraham separated, Lot pitched his tent close to Sodom. The Genesis account says, “Lot lingered” there. In due time, Lot was sitting at the gate to Sodom, as he was the chief magistrate of the city. First Lot “lingered a little too long,” and then he became comfortable “sitting” at the gate. We see a gradual decline in Lot’s commitment to remain faithful to God by his every day choices.

Sin is gradual and progressive. The longer we allow its effects to persist, the more we become comfortable with it as Lot did.

Unlike Abraham, Lot had a dominant character weakness. While Abraham was focused on his relationship with God and the things that mattered to Him most, Lot became distracted.

Lot gradually lost his passion for God as the daily commotion of living in Sodom and the affairs of that wicked society overtook him. Lot not only lost focus on what was of utmost importance, but he no longer took God or His words seriously. God sent two angels to Lot warning “Get out!” Why would Lot linger rather than quickly obeying the Lord? The distractions of the world had dominated him.

Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all of these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

We learn an important lesson from Lot: We first get distracted, then enticed by worldly interests that catch our attention. By losing zeal for God, Lot became confused about his purpose and life direction.  If we don’t take seriously God’s warning to seek Him first and not the sinful things of this world, the same will happen in our lives. Earthly enticements must eventually lose their appeal, or our love for God will grow cold and we’ll lose any sense of purpose. Diverted focus brings ingratitude and a general sense of discontent towards God. We’re inclined to forget what God has given us as our rightful ownership. It’s God who protects us and has made a way for us to be with Him forever.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Lot’s distraction by worldly affairs cost him his family. Our distractions are costly to us too. Many start out believing God, but with time, become preoccupied and fall away from all the good things God had for them. This is the cost of not taking seriously Christ’s command to seek Him first.

LACK OF SELF CONTROL

Hindrances are the things that weigh us down and ultimately consume the bulk of our time. Many of the things we do, or don’t do, aren’t necessarily sin, but we allow them to stay at the top of our priority list.  When we have habits and thinking that keep us from accomplishing our very best—things God tells us don’t belong in the believer’s life—we must do everything to eradicate them.

Realize it’s personally damaging when we continue to hold on to things that don’t belong. A lack of self-control is a weight that keeps us continually at the starting gate. We can’t progress until we permit the Holy Spirit to go to work on our behalf. When we cooperate with God, we’re able to gain control over our flesh.

Proverbs speaks of the benefit of ruling over our natural, carnal nature.

“Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28)

Unless we learn to control ourselves, we’re at the mercy of the flesh. The flesh fights against God. We leave ourselves vulnerable to the enemy when we refuse to be self-controlled. Gaining control over the natural, means we’re moving closer to the supernatural.

There is a misconception among many, that living a victorious Christian life requires only receiving Christ into one’s life, nothing more.

Although that’s certainly true, it doesn’t end there. That’s just the beginning. That action means you are now spiritually re-born. But as a spiritual newborn, you are new to the Christian faith and must grow into maturity as a baby grows from infant to adult.

As with physical growth, God requires us to grow in our faith and knowledge of Him. When we’re obedient to His command to be self-controlled, we gradually leave behind the undisciplined life we knew as non-believers. A growing, maturing Christian is one who trusts her Savior to change her from within.  Her aim now is to please her Lord and not herself.

“Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (I Peter 1:13-16)

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3)

A LOOSE TONGUE (THE WORDS YOU SPEAK)

James 3:8 declares that “no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” He also says, “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man” (James 3:2).

Evil rears its ugly head in the form of words, though at times it may appear to be subtle. Jesus cautions in Matthew 12:34:

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

When evil resides in the heart, it will be exposed in perverse speech. This language is contrary to God’s truth and message of love.

When we open our mouths and speak we reveal what’s inside. If every word you spoke during a 24-hourd period were recorded and played back to you, what would it reveal?  What would you learn from the tone, the content, the message behind the words, the significance, the value?  Do your words bless others (and yourself), or belittle?  Do they encourage or deflate? Are they comforting or cutting?

“To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” (Proverbs 8:13, NIV)

Christians can refrain from perverse speech for they have the Spirit’s help to do so. When our words are full of love we have taken on Christ’s speech.

A POOR SELF IMAGE

Perhaps you’ve seen the television show “Hoarders.” The most amazing thing about hoarders is their inability to recognize trash from treasure. When everything, to include trash and garbage, is valuable, one loses the ability to distinguish what’s truly precious. The more these individuals fill their homes with clutter, the more confused their minds become. They become unstable and filled with anxiety for fear of losing so-called valuable possessions.

While not all people cling to their possessions the way hoarders do, many have a natural tendency to cling to emotional baggage, and that too can prove detrimental. We become emotional hoarders by clinging to injustices, grudges, self-defeating speech, and faulty thinking. Many nurse perceived injuries long after an event has ceased. Many more develop a victim mentality that after countless years becomes their identity.

When we carry our grudges into our everyday life, we live like hoarders. We can’t start fresh until we get rid of our emotional garbage. A poor self-image is the garbage that keeps you a victim of your past. Satan especially loves to see Christians suffering from identity confusion.

God gives a new beginning to all those who come to Him. When we ask Jesus to make us a new creation, He goes to work at removing the disorder that keeps us imprisoned.

Jesus came to set us free and if we’ll tap into His power, we can achieve that freedom. It’s not anything you must work hard at. If you accept Him freely, you’re accepting the help He gives. With time, He transforms your heart, which transforms your thinking and behavior. Simply by staying close to Him, you’ll reap the rewards of a fresh new life.

“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, ESV)

All of us run into bumps on our life journey. The key is to remember that it’s not what happens to you that defines you, but how you respond to what’s happened to you. The believer always has Jesus to turn to. When we ask Him to help us get over our hurts, He willingly does so. This is God’s method for cleaning our house (our mind).

Anyone who reads the book of Solomon soon learns how much God loves and cherishes each of us. He “marries” us and takes us as His bride. He loves everything about us as we’re His design, desire, and handiwork. Humanity is His crowning achievement.

God has called us to conform to His image. When we insist on hanging on to the old, simply because it’s familiar, we’re being disobedient. We’re resisting the Holy Spirit’s attempts to assist us with our new life in Christ.

“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” (Romans 8:29)

God provides for our complete transformation when we accept Jesus as Savior. This transformation often takes a life time to achieve, still we’re to be moving continually and intently towards this goal.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed (metamorphoo) by the renewing of your minds.” (Romans 12:2)

This transformation is a “metamorphosis,” as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Scripture uses different images to express the change that occurs in all true believers:

We become “a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

We’re “made new in the attitude of your minds” (Ephesians 4:23).

We “put off your old self” and “put on the new self” (Ephesians 4:22, 24; Colossians 3:9-10).

We “live by the Spirit” and not by the flesh (Galatians 5:16; Romans 8:13).

We become “instruments of righteousness” rather than “instruments of wickedness” (Romans 6:13).

We have “been set free from sin and have become slaves to God” (Romans 6:22).

FEAR OF FAILURE

The fear of failure is the fourth major cause of stress and anxiety for all people. Satan repeatedly tries to remind believers and non-believers alike, that they are failures. But continually thinking about our own failures keeps us uncertain. We become crippled and are unable to move forward. This thinking produces bondage. God takes care of our sin problem when we think about Him and not ourselves.

For the believer, the basic concept of sin is failure—failure to live up to God’s standards. Satan wants to persistently tell you that you are failing God through your human weakness. God already understands our humanity, so He never asks us to be perfect in our own power or righteousness.  He only asks us to accept Him and to receive His perfection. That act makes us right with Him. Through Him we attain what we can’t achieve on our own.

Jesus spoke about a pattern of thinking that produces oppression. Repeatedly having our mind on our own failure and non-performance keeps us in a state of failure. This is the self-centered thinking that Jesus came to deliver us from. The world’s system produces addiction, bondage, and patterns of thinking that produce failure, mental illness, disease, and death.

“No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.” (1 John 3:9–10)

Jesus provides us freedom from these torments when we move away from the world’s system and apply His truth to our minds instead. God’s Word holds all truth, and in that truth, there’s freedom. The way to move from bondage to freedom is to embrace God’s truth and accept His free gifts of grace, mercy, and love.

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that bit did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.” (1 John 3:1–3)

We will always fail because we’re imperfect. But we have a perfect God who makes us perfect by being one with Him. Jesus is in every true believer. Accept the freedom He offers and determine never again to be enslaved by wrong thinking that holds you captive.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

FEELINGS OF REJECTION

The fear of failure often carries over to feelings of rejection and those who don’t know God often have this spirit of rejection operating in their lives. Not understanding what this spirit produces, or where it comes from, keeps multitudes in bondage.

Why is this spirit so deadly? It attacks our very identity and destroys our self-worth. It attacks who we are and the purpose God has for our life. For this reason, it’s one of the most common tools the devil uses to destroy a person’s potential.

The root of rejection starts with misplaced identity.

Many base their identity on what their parents, teachers, or friends thought or said about them. They become confused when they believe their identity is based on performance.  If that faulty belief persists, it can become a pattern for life.

If you were rejected by someone you loved, you may feel that God also rejects you. But God’s nature is very different from men. Men lie, cheat, steal, and slander. God doesn’t. When God tells you He loves you unconditionally, He’s not lying to you. God never rejects those who come to Him in humility and devotion. Men have rejected God from the beginning of time, but God’s ways are very different.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

Discover how God feels about you and you’ll be able to move away from wrongful and harmful emotions which lie to you. We can get past living by feelings alone when we search out God’s truth for ourselves.

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.” (Proverbs 8:17)

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“No, God has not rejected his own people, whom he chose from the very beginning…” (Romans 11:2)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”(John 3:16)

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”(Romans 5:8)

PERFECTIONISM

Seeking perfection actually comes from a fear of failure. Perfectionism will keep you from stepping out in faith to what God may have for you. Whatever the underlying motives are for perfectionism, it is a self-focused pursuit. God has called us to focus on Him and what He can do in our life. Focusing on what we can or can’t do, is not belief, but unbelief.

While failure can be our teacher, perfectionism keeps us from growing in wisdom. It keeps us from trying new things and venturing out in an attempt to expand our world. Seeking our own perfection makes us an enemy of God. God’s Word tells us:

“We’re to remember those things that cause us to set our eyes on Jesus not ourselves” (Thessalonians 4:13-18).

Perfectionism is a curse! It causes us to be inflexible and judgmental of others and ourselves. Jesus calls us to love, not judge. It’s God alone who makes us perfect.

All people can be free and forgiven when they acknowledge that it is Jesus who took our sin upon Himself. Accepting this truth about Jesus, makes us perfect through His perfection. This is God’s gift of grace to us. God calls us to be faithful and obedient, not perfect through our own effort.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, ESV)

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24)

“Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.” (Proverbs 28:26)

A NEGATIVE, DEFEATIST ATTITUDE

Defeatism is acceptance of defeat without struggle. Negative attitudes and thinking produce defeatism, and this is the opposite of faith. It can become self-fulfilling. If you permit yourself to believe that you’ll always be a failure, then you will be. Succeeding takes a different mindset, a different perspective.

Jesus was able to keep his attitudes in check because He prayed about everything and worried about nothing. We, too, can move out of negative, self-defeating thinking when we consider going to God about all aspects of our lives.

God wants to work out His perfect will in our lives, but He can’t do so unless we cooperate with Him to change us from within. Once our attitude and mindset towards God changes, we can go from ingratitude to gratitude. Until that happens, it’s difficult to receive anything from God. Jesus didn’t suffer from defensive, discouraged, or depressed attitudes because He never focused on Himself or His feelings as we do.

Jesus’ goal was to please the Father. He knew God’s Word and that Word made Him strong in His thinking, attitudes, emotions, and calling.

The Christian woman has been called to renew her mind by transforming it with God’s Word. This is God’s secret to you. It’s designed to help you move from natural, negative thinking to powerful, confident trust by believing what God says in His Word to you. Believers are not to take on the characteristics and patterns of unbelievers.

Timothy often struggled with feelings of hopelessness and discouragement. He didn’t “see” himself as strong, so he was inclined to continually ask the Apostle Paul for help. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help from time to time, but we must learn to not continually lean on someone stronger. We must learn to “fight the good fight of faith” ourselves, or we’ll never develop our spiritual muscles. Timothy was like many Christians needing help to fight the war against Satan. But Paul encouraged Timothy to focus on being strong in Christ and to fight like a good soldier for Jesus’ sake.

“You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.” (2 Timothy 2:3-4)

Our fight is against Satan, the world, and our own human nature.  The sinful world, into which we were born, requires that we fight against its entanglements. Our fight is described in military terms. We’re soldiers in the army of the living God; we’re not to hand ourselves over to Satan in defeat.

“Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.” (Colossians 2:6-7)

A SUSPICIOUS MIND

A suspicious mind will keep you from accepting the love of God. It will also hinder your ability to make friends or enjoy loving relationships.

As we move closer to the end of the age, we see deception increasing. God is permitting a sifting to take place. Paul uses the word “delusion” in 2 Thessalonians 2:11. Both suspicion and delusion keep us from recognizing truth and deception. When people become suspicious, they become confused. Confusion signifies that deception is present. When operating by it, we lose our way. When we wander from the truth, we drift into aimlessness and eventually despair.

A deceitful mind avoids confronting the real issues of life and death. Satan understands this about our human nature, so he goes to work on those who consider themselves intellectually superior. They become suspicious of Christianity and all things spiritual. If he can get them to argue over the mundane issues of life, he has distracted them from what’s necessary and important.

Christians must honestly examine what they give their time, attention, and devotion to. What holds your focus? This will reveal whether you love the truth or merely profess to.

The love of truth will keep you focused. Focusing on God’s priorities will keep you clear-minded and balanced. Focus will keep you motivated to fight Satan’s attempts to deceive you. We receive a sound mind when we make God’s truth our sure foundation.

Jesus said, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.” (John 7:37)

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)  “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” (Isaiah 41:13).

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12)

INDECISION

Indecision keeps us from moving forward as we waver between two or more possible courses of action. Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” There’s wisdom in this common saying, for it’s precisely indecision that keeps many from making a commitment to Christ and even to others.

If this problem has plagued you, ask God to give you wisdom and a sound mind capable of making the most important decision—to receive Christ and to follow Him faithfully.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:5-8, NKJV)

No one can avoid making decisions. Life is full of choices. We choose every day what we’ll eat, when we’ll rise, and when we’ll go to bed. More importantly though God calls us to make the most important decision that we will ever make—that of accepting Jesus as Savior.

A wise man has said, “The decisions that we make—make us!” I would add: the decisions we make determine whether we receive life or death at the end of our physical life. This should be far more important to each of us.

“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water I will spit you out of my mouth! You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ You don't realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.” (Revelation 3:15-16, NLT)

“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” (Matthew 12:30, ESV)

“Watch yourselves! Don’t let yourselves become occupied with too much feasting and strong drink, and the worries of this life, or that Day may come on you suddenly. For it will come like a trap upon all men over the whole earth. Be on watch and pray always that you will have the strength to go safely through all these things that will happen, and to stand before the Son of Man.” (Luke 21:34-36, TEB)

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105, NIV)

PROCRASTINATION

Solomon, in Ecclesiastes, counsels us not to procrastinate: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.” Urgency is reflected in this pearl of wisdom, for as so many have discovered, tomorrow is never guaranteed.

When God reveals to us our calling and gives us a particular job to do, we must respond swiftly in obedience and excellence. We must get excited about what God has for us. We’re to take whatever God gives us and use it without delay or reserve, to His glory.

You have the potential of doing great things for God. God created every person with enormous capacity, but unless you serve the Lord with fervency, you’ll never reach that capacity.

Why should we do everything we do for God with all our might? Why should we seize every available opportunity to be used of Him? Because the opportunity to serve God, is for a very brief time.

There will come a day when death brings an end to our opportunities to serve the Lord. In Psalm 6:5 David laments, “For in death there is no remembrance of you; in the grave who will give you thanks?”

Perhaps you already know what God wants you to do. The question is: Will you do it wholeheartedly or will you resist? Will you throw yourself into it? Will you do it to the best of your ability?

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” (Proverbs 27:1)

“Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:20-21)

SELFISHNESS

Selfish attitudes and behaviors abound in people today—self-centered, self-serving, and self-important. The essence of sin is selfishness, which is choosing to live independently of God (Isaiah 53:6; 2 Corinthians 5:15).

Sin is an attitude as well as an action. We decide to sin when we decide to be independent of God. It’s a failure to love God and a refusal to acknowledge and obey Him as Creator and Lord.

At the root of every problem is selfishness, and man’s thoughts and desires are persistently on self. Selfishness is man’s primary and continual defect. Apart from a relationship with Christ, man thinks only of himself.

“Where there is jealousy and selfishness, there is also disorder and every kind of evil.” (James 3:16, TEV)

“The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.” (Genesis 6:5)

“An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1)

“But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” (Romans 2:8)

Giving is the opposite of selfishness. Love is the opposite of self-centeredness. The entire message of Christianity is contrary to man’s methods. No other religion teaches that we must put others first, turn the other cheek, or love our enemies.

The uniqueness of Christianity is that relationship with the Lord changes people—for man doesn’t have to work towards his own goodness. The born-again person’s new nature comes because of Christ in them, not because of themselves. We can never hope to be good apart from accepting Christ’s finished work on the cross.

“Without shedding of blood there is no remission.” (Hebrews 9:22

“The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)

“To Him who loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood.” (Revelation 1:5)

We’ll always be a product of our corrupt culture until we turn from ourselves and turn to God to make us new. This is the only way to crucify our selfish, self-centered nature.

We can’t change the fruit without changing the root. Every time we try to change ourselves, it doesn’t last. Lasting change is possible through Christ alone. Turning from selfishness to loving others is possible through the life-transforming experience of receiving salvation.

“Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:31)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-45)

“This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.” (Romans 3:22)

If you recognize any of these worldly traits in your life, confess to God and ask Him to help you move beyond what’s hindering you. Decide today that you’re going to tap into all He has for those who remain faithful to Him. Asking God to change us within keeps us running our race to the finish line.

CHAPTER 3

THE SINS THAT KEEP US FROM WINNING OUR RACE

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:25-27)

Unless we’re in the habit of regular self-examination, we may not see that we’re bent over from our heavy load of sin and may not be aware of what’s causing our unhappiness and feelings of inadequacy.

Trying to change ourselves often proves ineffectual because we believe we have the power to change our behavior and circumstances. But sin is tempting and difficult to resist. Unless we’re operating in God’s wisdom, we don’t know how to live in true freedom. We don’t fully understand that our sin nature hinders our relationship with God and others.

Only through the power and enlightenment the Holy Spirit provides, are we able to remove the hindrances that ensnare us. (Hebrews 12:1)

All believers experience wrong attitudes, behaviors, and thinking from time to time. Being conformed to this world keeps us attached to the sins that entangle us and keep us from enjoying the freedom Christ died to give us. This is why Christ has told us not to conform to the world.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2, NLT)

THE SINS THAT HOLD US BACK:

Like runners, we must learn to identify, and then remove whatever is slowing us down. Self-examination is crucial for victory. Learning to identify what’s hindering us lets us lay those things down with the Holy Spirit’s help.

Let’s examine the things that weigh us down and hinder our ability to reach Christian maturity.

UNFORGIVENESS

Unforgiveness is a poison to our mind and body. We open ourselves up to disease, stress, and bitterness when we permit it. Christ calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us (Isaiah 43:25). When we refuse to do so, it hinders our relationship with Him. An unforgiving attitude keeps God from doing what He wants in our life.

Choosing to be obedient to God’s commands by forgiving others, releases us to experience all that God is and has for us. We enjoy better health, feel happier, and experience more joy when we learn to love others. If someone has deeply wounded you, ask God to help you love and forgive them. This is for your benefit. That’s why Christ commands it of us.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, ESV)

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25, ESV)

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

A CRITICAL SPIRIT

Finding fault and being critical come naturally to most of us. We’re especially critical of others when we consider ourselves superior. But Jesus told us not to judge “lest you be judged” (Matthew 7:1, NASB). Judging others is selfish motivation, as we desire to feel better about ourselves. Many of us become critical when others fail to do what we ask, or fail our expectations in some way. Jesus explained why a judgmental attitude is dangerous:

“God will be as hard on you as you are on others! He will treat you exactly as you treat them.”  When we judge, we invite judgment upon ourselves.” (James 2:13).

By judging others, we hide our own hypocrisy and invite judgment upon ourselves. The same verse says:

“Judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy.”

Only Jesus could satisfy the judgment against us for our sins. If we truly understood the judgment from God that we each deserve, we would be less inclined to judge others. We receive grace and mercy for our sin when we accept Christ’s sacrifice. Experiencing that grace and mercy personally, is the first step to overcoming a critical spirit. Now, offer grace and mercy to others, as Jesus said:

“Freely you received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8).

A JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS SPIRIT

Like greed and lust, envy is characterized by an insatiable desire. Envy, like jealousy, is the desire for others’ attributes, status, abilities, possessions, or situation. Both of these negative emotions exhibit discontent towards others for what they possess. The envious will desire what another has and will covet until they get it.

The Bible tells us of the story of a young David who slew the giant Goliath. Israel was grateful to David for taking care of the problem the giant presented for them. Saul was also grateful to David, and in fact, took him into his home where David befriended his son Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-5). It wasn’t long though, before Saul became jealous over David’s battle prowess as the women sang “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7). Saul’s envy of David’s success doomed the friendship. Scripture tells us that Saul’s response towards David was first jealousy and then anger (1 Samuel 18:8-9).

For Saul, jealousy and anger led to paranoia and eventually murderous intent. The sins of jealously and envy ruined the remainder of Saul’s life. Upon realizing that David was the anointed, future king, Saul became disturbed and obsessed. He was filled with rage and fixated on having David killed.

Desiring what others have keeps us from being personally grateful for God’s many blessings. A jealous spirit rises out of a sense of entitlement and ingratitude. Selfishness is at the heart of human nature and it’s never content.

The story of Saul and David is a striking example of the power jealousy and envy can have over us when we allow them to consume us. Jealousy is the first step in a progression of sins such as slander, gossip, violence, and even murder.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” (James 3:14-16)

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Proverbs 14:30)

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”  (James 3:16)

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant,” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

GREED

Greed is included in the seven things that God hates. These are usually given as: Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain and ignores the realm of the spiritual. It’s also called “avarice” or “covetousness.”

The Book of Proverbs records for us in 6:16-19 that the Lord specifically regards “six things the Lord hates, and seven that are an abomination to Him.” These are: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plot, feet that are swift to run into mischief, a deceitful witness that utters lies and those that sow discord among the brethren.

Greed is the excessive desire of material possessions. Jesus told us not to seek temporal things. Greed is a sign that a person’s heart has not been turned from the things of this world. Greed looks to self-interest and takes advantage of others. Greed makes us discontent and ungrateful. Satan works in the heart of those who believe they never have enough.

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” (I Timothy 6:10)

“A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched.” (Proverbs 28:25)

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.” (I Timothy 6:9)

PRIDE

Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. This view is dangerous as it doesn’t acknowledge the work of God in a person’s life. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as vanity.

Believing in one’s superiority is actually blindness. It is only God who gives a person intellect, talents, and abilities.

It was pride that cast Lucifer from Heaven and it was pride that cost Adam and Eve their place in Paradise. Pride is the first sin to enter a man’s heart and the last to leave. No sin is more offensive to God than the sin of pride.

Pride denies God, yet God made everything. Everything has its beginning in God. Nothing that was ever created, was made apart from God.

“Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.” (John 1:3)

Pride assaults God and asserts its independence in an attempt to remove God from His creation. Pride is at the core of all sin, but humility is the basis of all virtue. Pride is the beginning of evil. God detests pride and hates a proud look (Proverbs 6:16-17). Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)

The best example of pride is the story of Satan’s origin. Lucifer was created to be the most beautiful angel in Heaven. He was created by God, yet became full of pride and desired to be equal with his Creator. This resulted in God casting him from Heaven. Pride caused Lucifer’s fall and subsequent condemnation. Self-will displaced God’s will. All rebellion against God has a dreadful consequence. God’s judgment for Lucifer’s act: He gave him over to his own rebellion.

The snare of pride is as deadly to us as it was for Lucifer. When we permit it to consume us we’re apt to develop a hardened heart not capable of turning to God. Humility and submission to God is the answer to our pride.

“God resists the proud but He gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)

DECEIT

Pride is at the heart of all deceit. Pride is deceptive because it leads us to believe we’re not only better than others, but that we’re better than we are. The Bible tells us that if we believe we have no sin in us, we’re deceived.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8, NKJV).

The deceitful person will continually lie and tell half-truths to others—even to themselves. Pride exalts self and tries to conceal defects.

Ever since the fall, man has had difficulty taking responsibility for his own actions. God’s Word tells us the heart of man is deceitful.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Contrary to popular thinking we’re not good people who happen to do bad things—we’re born sinners, plain and simple. Its pride that leads to deception and it’s deception that keeps us from confessing our sin or acknowledging our need of a Savior.

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” (Proverbs 12:22)

“Your tongue plots destruction, like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit.” (Psalm 52:2)

LUST AND GLUTTONY

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body and is focused on pleasing self. It’s concerned with possession and greed. Gluttony is a desire to consume more than that which one requires.

The person controlled by lust has little regard for consequences for he’s focused on acting out objectionable actions.

Lust is from Satan, but love is from God. Love is giving and kind. Lust is selfish and demanding. Lust doesn’t think of the selfless love Christ calls the believer to have towards others. The Christian faith is about selflessness and is marked by holy living.

Since lust comes from engaging with the enemy, its end result is evil. Satan tempted Eve by telling her that God was keeping something good from her. This caused her to lust the forbidden fruit she was told to not eat of. As a result, Adam and Eve’s disobedience subjected all mankind to God’s curse (Genesis 3:6, 16-19).

Lust leads to a thirst for more and is never satisfied (Romans 1:24-32). The root of lust is innate to all people. Once we begin to fulfill our own lusts, we begin a vicious cycle.

Lust leads to sin and sin breaks our fellowship with God. That’s the nature of lust: an unquenchable thirst for more—more money, more fame, more power, more possessions, and more food, drugs, and sex. Unless we give our desires over to the Lord they’ll never be satisfied. God is the only One who can quench this insatiable desire for more in us.

“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:19-21)

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.” (1 John 2:16)

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.” (Romans 1:24-27)

UNBELIEF

The word “sin” for most people means doing wrong things against God. While this is true, it’s only part of the meaning. Our sins are not just our wrong actions, but our wrong and evil attitudes that we hold in our hearts. Jesus taught that these wrong attitudes brought all kinds of wicked behavior. (Mark 7:21-23).

The people Moses led in the desert held wrong attitudes in their hearts toward God (Hebrews 3:8). They knew about God, but they didn’t want to trust Him, so they refused to obey Him. Their other sins were the result of this wrong attitude. Their overwhelming sin was unbelief. They didn’t want a relationship with God. Their problem wasn’t that they doubted God. Their problem was hearing and seeing God’s truth, yet refusing to believe. Their sin was choosing to make wrong decisions about Him. This resulted in a heart attitude that wouldn’t permit them to submit to His authority.

Faith is active belief and trust in God and what He says to us.

The Israelites didn’t put their faith in God even though He showed them miracle after miracle. It’s impossible to have faith unless we first hear God’s word (Hebrews 3:7). But if we hear, and then refuse to trust and obey the Word, that’s willful unbelief. The sin of unbelief is very serious. God didn’t permit the Israelites to enter the Promised Land because of this sin, and He won’t permit us entrance into eternity unless we put our faith and trust in Him alone.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

ANGER

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as wrath.

Our flesh loves to have its own way. Anger is an emotion that if not controlled, can ruin a person’s entire life. The Christian can allow the Holy Spirit to control them, or they can let the sinful nature of the flesh act out. It’s a choice we make continually.

Uncontrolled anger robs us of happiness and destroys our relationships. If this has been the case for you, ask God to forgive you and submit to His conforming process. He can remove the anger you feel and restore a peaceful countenance to you. Read the book of Proverbs and discover everything God has to say about the danger of anger. Then read what God says about the benefits to peace. Ask God to remove the anger from you and replace it with His peace.

“Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” (Psalms 37:8)

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” (Proverbs 15:18)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27)

“These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Damaging emotions and actions keep us from succeeding. By recognizing that we have an anger problem, we can turn to the Lord and ask Him to help us remove it from our life for good. We can ask Him to replace the anger with patience, affection, and love instead. But if we choose to act on our anger, God’s Word cautions us about the consequences.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)

“A quick-tempered man does foolish things.” (Proverbs 14:17)

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

BITTERNESS

If anger goes unchecked, bitterness eventually develops. Bitterness is a root. A root is the source that makes the tree either good or bad. This root produces negative emotions that spill out against others. Roots aren’t seen as they lay beneath the surface, but the fruit of bitterness poisons us from the inside out. When we permit bitterness to take hold, we’re susceptible to depression, as anger turned towards self produces this destructive emotion.

All of us have been offended and disappointed by others, and all of us have offended and disappointed others as well. When we don’t see our own wrongdoing, we’re inclined to believe we’re the only one wronged. This belief makes us feel superior, as we don’t see our own pride, lack of love, or fault. This tendency permits offenses to germinate to the point of resentment and bitterness.

Bitterness is characterized by an unforgiving spirit and a negative, critical attitude which the Bible says is sin. Bitterness and resentment are self-defeating passions, as they distort our conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Bitterness is a deadly poison that if allowed to brew, will destroy and kill (Galatians 5:19-21).

Confessing our bitterness to God will start the healing process of our spiritual, emotional, and physical oppression. Bitterness defiles us and many of our sicknesses and diseases are a result of holding on to bitterness.

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:14,15).

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31, 32).

SLANDER AND GOSSIP

There are many reasons why people slander or gossip against others. Envy is one reason. Hurt feelings are another. Some slander another’s good name because they seek revenge for perceived wrongs or simply because they don’t like a person. The Bible tells us that only a fool does so.

“Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool. Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” (Proverb 10:18-19, NIV)

Looking for fault in a person so you can abuse them is sin. There’s a difference between Biblical discernment (judging righteously) and condemning someone. The Bible teaches in Proverbs that only a hypocrite goes around slandering other people.

“With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape.” (Proverb 11:9)

Satan is the father of all pride, envy, lies, and hate. Out of hate comes slander. In the beginning Satan slandered God’s reputation by insinuating that God was not entirely good—“did God really say that?” Eve added to what God said. “And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the Garden but of the fruit of the tree which in the midst of the Garden, God said you shall not eat of it, neither shall you touch it lest you die.’” This was not what God said!

Satan lied about God’s nature, motives, and character, and Eve added a statement that God did not speak. We must refrain from any behavior or speech that resembles Satan’s.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” (Proverbs 16:28)

“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” (Proverbs 11:13)

LOVE OF MONEY

Many believe that money is the root of all evil. The book of Timothy tells us that it is the love of money, not money itself, that’s the source of evil. The Bible makes clear that all evil ultimately results from sin (Matthew 15:19; Romans 5:12; and James 1:15).

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” (I Timothy 6:10)

Wealth is morally neutral; there’s nothing wrong with money or the possession of money. Our problems start when we allow money to control us by “loving” what it buys.

Godliness with contentment is great gain, I Timothy 6:6 tells us. Contentment for the Christian is the recognition that we come into the world with nothing and that everything we have is a gift from God. (I Timothy 6: 7-8). In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said:

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You can’t serve God and money” (Matthew 6:24).

Yet those who desire to be rich (those who have the love of money) are the ones who are led into temptation and fall into a snare (I Timothy 6:9). Paul concludes the passage by telling Timothy that the love of money leads to all sorts of sin and evil.

Greed is rampant and causes people to do things they wouldn’t normally consider. Some will go so far as to kill another for the love of money.

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.” (2 Timothy 3:2)

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” (1 John 2:15)

IDOLATRY

God hates idolatry because it counterfeits, mocks, and profanes Him. Idolatry has at its core the concept of serving or worshipping something other than the one true God. Idolatry robs God of the glory that’s due Him. It was the sin of idolatry that prompted God to give to Moses the “Ten Commandments.” **[See the complete list of the Ten Commandments at the end of this section.]

“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…” (Exodus 20:1-4).

The word “worship” means “to give the greatest devotion and love to a deity.” God demands exclusive worship from His people. No other thing or person deserves worship, as all things were created by the Creator and are finite. Only God is infinite. Only God deserves our worship because He’s the only true and living God.

The apostle Paul provides us with a modern application of idolatry in his letter to the Colossians. He mentions covetousness (or greed) which is idolatry (Colossians 3:5). Idolatry occurs when we give more worth and value (idolize) anything more than we value God. The solution to this problem is Christ’s admonition:

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” (Matthew 6:33)

Throughout Scripture we find words of warning against anything that supplants God’s preeminent place in our lives.

“I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols.” (Isaiah 42:8).

“The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see; they have ears, but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths. Those who make them become like them, so do all who trust in them!” (Psalm 135:15-18)

“Go and cry out to the gods whom you have chosen; let them save you in the time of your distress.” (Judges 10:14)

“And you shall not bring an abominable thing into your house and become devoted to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest and abhor it, for it is devoted to destruction.” (Deuteronomy 7:26)

“And I will declare my judgments against them, for all their evil in forsaking me. They have made offerings to other gods and worshiped the works of their own hands.” (Jeremiah 1:16)

**The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

2. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

4. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

5. Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

6. You shall not murder.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

SLOTH

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. Since man was commanded to work, the Bible has a great deal to say about the unwillingness to work, or laziness. The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom and gives us the methods to prospering. It holds God’s secrets to success, but also gives guidance on what to avoid. We’re warned not to be lazy.

He hates work: “The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work.” (Proverbs 21:25)

He loves sleep: “As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed.” (Proverbs 26:14)

He gives excuses: “The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets.’” (Proverbs 26:13)

He wastes time and energy: “He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great waster.” (Proverbs 18:9, KJV)

He believes he’s wise, but is a fool: “The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly.” (Proverbs 26:16).

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” (Proverbs 13:4)

“For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10)

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)

“The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.” (Proverbs 12:24)

CHAPTER 4

HOW TO WIN YOUR RACE

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2, NLT)

THE COST OF ENTANGLEMENTS, ENTRAPMENTS, AND SIN:

Like runners, we must remove whatever slows us down. Unless we become aware of the hindrances Satan uses to draw us away, these impediments will limit us and rob us of the spiritual inheritance Jesus died to give us.

Hindrances will:

-Cause us to be distracted from running our race.

-Divide our minds and get us on the wrong track.

-Drain our energy.

-Remove us from our God-ordained purpose and destiny.

-Cause us to stumble.

-Cause us to be joyless.

-Cause us to be fearful.

-Cause our minds to become confused and restless.

The only way to run our race well is to release the things that ensnare us. God didn’t create us to carry hindrances that rob us of enjoying our Creator. We can get rid of our baggage by confessing our sins and asking Jesus to help us in our race.

ACTIONABLE STEPS TO TAKE:

-Admit that you have encumbrances in your life and ask God to help you remove them.

-Acknowledge that these attitudes and behaviors are contrary to God’s ways and are therefore sin.

-Take responsibility for permitting these “issues” to come into your life, regardless of where they came from.

-Decide to turn away from the former things and renew your mind with the Word of God starting today.

-Confess to God that you know these practices don’t belong in the believer’s life. Pray and ask Him to help you get rid of them.

-Be willing to ask for and rely on the Holy Spirit’s help and strength (Philippians 4:13).

-Understand that it takes discipline, not just wishful thinking, to turn around negative emotions and practices.

DON’T LOSE YOUR FOCUS

The Lord has planned good things for those who love and follow Him. He has equipped you to run your race with His help. He waits to say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

There’s no need to continue failing in your Christian walk. God will set you free when you put your faith and trust in Him. By faith and the power of the Holy Spirit, you can make the conscious choice to rid yourself of the things that displease God.

Your race won’t go on forever. There will come a time at the end of your life when you’ll stand before Jesus and give Him an accounting of what you did with the years He gave you.

Many run their race aimlessly unable to focus. Constant distraction keeps them from seeing the finish line. They can’t focus because they’re continually operating from confusion, anxiety, and rebellion. Their eyes dart back and forth, never settling on the goal set before them.

Some run their race passively. They have no purpose or goals. They take no action. They don’t care about prizes or achieving excellence. They have good intentions, but their choices keep them stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. Their lives are defined by mediocrity and failure.

Some do seem to understand that life is a race. But they run out of fear. The fear of failure keeps them running the “rat race.” They continue to strive and use all their energy to win the prize of materialism. This goal keeps them in survival mode, as they become fearful they won’t have enough.

The fear of losing what has been earned by the sweat of our brow, keeps us from giving generously to others. We’re fearful that if we do, we won’t have enough for ourselves. This thinking keeps us from receiving the blessing that comes from giving to others.

The Christian race requires discipline, focus, and single mindedness to win. Our prize, one that far surpasses any earthly crown, is Christ Himself and all that He’s accomplished for us.

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”(1 Corinthians 9:24)

At first our Christian race seems frightening for there’s so much that’s unknown. It’s not natural to us yet, as we must go through a conforming process before we can understand what being a Christian truly means.

Our natural enemy, Satan, wants us to always live in fear. Fear is lethal. It keeps us incarcerated, as we cower and hide from what God wants to give us in His fullness.

We seek comfort, but God wants us to step out in faith to receive what He has for us.

We’ll never win our race unless we let Christ show us how to kill off the enemy of self-doubt, discouragement, hopelessness, and deception. When we ask God to show us how to run, He shows us how to daily put to death our natural man, our old self, and our old ways of thinking and doing.

At first this causes us discomfort. But in due season, as we embrace our discomfort and fear daily, we become doers of the word, not hearers only. We learn to trust God and develop our faith.

It’s the application of God’s truth that produces winning results. We win the Grand Prize by knowing Christ and permitting Him to transform us into His likeness.

Our Christian race requires a lifetime to accomplish. It’s not finished until we die. To avoid being distracted by what holds no value we must keep our eyes on the prize Christ sets before us.

AVOIDING PITFALLS

1. Examine your faith-life regularly. “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Corinthians 13:5)

2. If you find yourself drifting away, turn back immediately. “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:12-13)

3. Go to God daily for forgiveness and cleansing. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

4. Continue daily seeking the Lord with your whole heart. “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)

5. Stay in the Word of God. Keep studying and learning daily. “Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.” (Proverbs 4:13)

6. Stay in fellowship often with other believers. You can’t make it alone as a Christian. We need the strength and prayers of other believers. “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25)

7. Stand firm in your faith. “Expect difficult times in your Christian life. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22)

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)

8. Persevere. “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (I Timothy 4:15-17)

9. Run the race to win. “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training ... we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25)

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness...” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

10. Remind yourself of what God has done for you in the past. “Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised … we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.”(Hebrews 10:32, 35-39) Source: Mary Fairchild/About.com

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” (Psalm 105:4)

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24)

Prayer of salvation:

“Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead.  I trust and follow you as my Lord and Savior. Guide my life and help me to do your will. In your name, Amen.”

Pray to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit:

“Holy Spirit, I surrender my life to you. You are welcome to come and live in me and flow through my life. Spirit of Truth, reveal to me where the Devil has had a hold on my life, as I desire to turn from his influence. Holy Spirit, you have free-reign to revolutionize me by your transforming power. Amen.”

REVIEWS:

If you found wisdom, strength, and spiritual enlightenment in the reading of my book, please consider taking a moment now to leave a short review on Amazon. Reviews help all authors, but for the Christian author, reviews help spread the “good news” of the gospel. Thanking you in advance, Lilliet

Lilliet’s other books:

The Secret Power of Godly Wisdom to Completely Transform Your Life

A Woman of Substance – Growing Spiritually Mature in an Immature World

A Woman of Grace and Strength – Growing Strong in the Grace and Knowledge of our Lord

The Christian Woman’s Guide to Abundant Success

Breaking Free from Guilt and Shame

Author link:

http://www.amazon.com/Lilliet-Garrison/e/B004H28MCU.

You may contact Lilliet at: lilliet1@hotmail.com

Table of Contents

GETTING UNSTUCK

Moving Beyond What’s Holding You Back

contents

CHAPTER 1

LIFE IS MORE THAN A BOARD GAME

YOUR LIFE IS A RACE

LAY ASIDE THE THINGS THAT IMPEDE YOUR PROGRESS

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?

CHAPTER 2

WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK?

THE HINDRANCES THAT HOLD US BACK:

WORRY

DISTRACTIONS

LACK OF SELF CONTROL

A LOOSE TONGUE (The Words You Speak)

A POOR SELF IMAGE

FEAR OF FAILURE

FEELINGS OF REJECTION

PERFECTIONISM

A NEGATIVE, DEFEATIST ATTITUDE

(Untitled)

A SUSPICIOUS MIND

INDECISION

PROCRASTINATION

SELFISHNESS

CHAPTER 3

THE SINS THAT KEEP US FROM WINNING OUR RACE

THE SINS THAT HOLD US BACK:

UNFORGIVENESS

A CRITICAL SPIRIT

A JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS SPIRIT

GREED

PRIDE

DECEIT

LUST AND GLUTTONY

UNBELIEF

ANGER

BITTERNESS

LOVE OF MONEY

IDOLATRY

SLOTH

(Untitled)

ACTIONABLE STEPS TO TAKE:

DON’T LOSE YOUR FOCUS

(Untitled)

AVOIDING PITFALLS

REVIEWS: