All About Fornication

By

Dag Heward-Mills

Smashwords Edition

****************

Copyright 1997 Dag Heward-Mills

E mail Dag Heward-Mills :

info@daghewardmillsbooks.org

evangelist@daghewardmills.org

Find out more about Dag Heward-Mills at:

www.daghewardmills.org

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Unless otherwise stated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Excerpts from: Evidence that Demands a Verdict Volume 1 by Josh McDowell

Unless otherwise stated, Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Preface

I am sure you are wondering what more there is to say about the subject of fornication. I also wondered when the Spirit of God directed me to feed the Body of Christ along these lines.

In Jeremiah 3:15, the Lord said, "Behold, I will give you pastors after my own heart who will feed you with knowledge and understanding." Being a pastor of God's flock has meant for me, the teaching of a wide range of subjects.

I must admit that, when the Lord first led me to write a book on this subject, I was a bit hesitant. But God has shown me that deliverance does not only come by the laying on of hands but by simple childlike faith in the Word of God.

Jesus said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."

For this reason I'm dedicated to preaching the truth which is the Word of God. In my ministry, God has delivered masses of people by the constant and regular teaching of the Word. That is why our churches grow: people are being delivered through the Word! I pray that this book will help many people out of what I call, "the international and cross-cultural sin of fornication."

Contents

Chapter 1: Fornication

Chapter 2: Fifteen Reasons Why You Should Not Commit Fornication

Chapter 3: Physical Steps to Avoiding Fornication

Chapter 4: Spiritual Steps to Avoiding Fornication

Chapter 1

Fornication

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Ephesians 5:3

Fornication is sexual intercourse before marriage.

The equivalent of fornication in marriage is adultery, that is, when you have sex with anyone who is not your marriage partner.

God’s standard for the Christian life is that no believer should ever be involved in fornication. Christians should not have a history of regularly committing fornication.

Neither should they ever be involved in it. Not even once!

...fornication...not be once named...

Ephesians 5:3

But unfortunately, even in charismatic circles, fornication is commonly found amongst born again Christians.

This “cancer” of fornication is rapidly affecting the Body of Christ, because many Christians who get involved in fornication do not know its spiritual and physical implications. They do not know its complications.

I want to now share with you fifteen reasons why you should not commit fornication.

Chapter 2

Fifteen Reasons Why You Should Not Commit Fornication

1. Fornication is disobedience.

The first reason why you should not commit fornication is that it is disobedience to God.

...Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

We are all subject to the temptation to fornicate. But the priority of every Christian must be to obey the Lord. If you do not obey God you stand to lose.

Obedience means more to God than any great sacrifice that you can make to Him.

Some of you come to church, put your offering in the basket, pay your tithes, lift up your hands and worship His Majesty. You give sacrifices of praise to God. But God prefers your simple obedience to your many offerings and lifted hands.

I once met a lady who told me that the commandment not to commit fornication is an old fashioned law, meant for the olden days. She argued that it was no longer a realistic instruction. Even if it does not make sense to you, your duty is still to obey God.

Christianity has to do with your relationship with the Lord. As a Christian you are dependent on God, and it is only the Lord who can bless you. If you choose to disobey and disregard God, I do not know what kind of relationship you want to have with Him. When you disobey God, you incur God’s curses upon your life.

Some people complain that it is difficult to obey God. “It costs so much,” they say. Dear friend, the truth is that it pays to obey God but it costs to disobey Him.

As you read the rest of this book, you will realize that when God gives us a commandment, it is for our own good. It pays to obey God but it is very expensive to disobey Him.

2. Fornication will destroy your soul.

But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it DESTROYETH his own SOUL.

Proverbs 6:32

When you commit fornication, the Bible says you will destroy your soul.

This means that fornication will have an effect on you spiritually. Anybody who is involved in fornication gets affected spiritually. You may not know exactly how it affects you. But it does affect you, and will lead you to backslide.

On Sunday mornings there are people sitting in church knowing very well what they did the night before.

Some Christians even come to church straight from their boyfriends’ beds. Your pastor may not know what you have done. He may have shaken hands with you, but did not have any word of knowledge about you! So you continue in sin. Know that it is gradually destroying your soul your inner self is affected!

With experience, I have come to see that when somebody commits fornication, his spiritual life takes a nose-dive. When a Christian falls into immorality his lifestyle changes. The destruction of the soul has begun.

3. Fornication will destroy your body.

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Corinthians 6:18

When you commit fornication you commit sin directly against your own body. When you commit fornication you commit a crime against your body. You are destroying your body.

If you commit a crime against the State, you are said to be destroying the State. That is why the State will arrest and prosecute you. In the same way when you commit fornication, you commit a crime against your body, and God will prosecute you for that.

know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost...?

1 Corinthians 6:19

4. You make covenants with all sorts of people.

Sex is intended to be a binding experience between two people. Know that when you commit fornication, you make a covenant with whoever you had sex with.

God’s plan is that when a woman has sex for the first time, her hymen is broken and blood is shed. Whenever blood is shed some sort of agreement or covenant is created.

That means when you have sex with different people, you may actually be entering into union with them. Agreements are made because blood is shed. That is one of the reasons why Paul asked,

…shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

1 Corinthians 6:15

Such covenants are for real. They can affect you for the rest of your life. I have seen people who have been crippled all their Christian lives because of fornication. Some Christians never rise out of the covenant of fornication.

The son of a fetish priest came to our church some years ago. He told us how he got involved in witchcraft. He said he once slept in the cemetery with his father.

After seven days his father cut his hand, drew his blood and mixed it with his own. Then they both drank the blood and made a permanent agreement. A covenant of witchcraft!

This brother was under that covenant. A time came when he had to decide between his father, (that is following the fetish) and following Christ.

This young man could not break away from this blood covenant. Friend, I am talking here about blood covenants!

He left the church after some months and went back to his father’s shrine.

Although he was born again, and knew the Lord, he could not easily break away from his covenant.

Blood and covenants are real things so do not sleep with just anybody. You may be sleeping with a witch and that witch will be in your home all the days of your life.

5. Fornication brings evil spirits into your life.

...Babylon the great…is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.

Revelation 18:2

A stronghold of evil spirits is a refuge, a sanctuary or a hiding place for demons. Why did so many evil spirits come to live in Babylon? Why has Babylon become a hold of demons?

According to Revelations 18:3,

For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her.

The kings, the ministers of state, the rich and the famous have committed fornication with her. That is why evil spirits have come into her life. Fornication attracts evil spirits into your life. This is so true of many Christians’ lives. Evil spirits have aggregated and congregated in them because of their fornication.

When God says do not do something He knows why! Some of the evil spirits that come into you can prevent you from ever getting married. Some evil spirits can cause you to backslide. Some of them will cause you to marry the wrong person. Some of them can cause you to have a bad marriage. Some of these evil spirits can also lead you into unfaithfulness in your marriage. The list is endless. Do you want to become a hiding place for demons?

6. Fornication brings sickness.

There are a host of diseases that only come about through sexual intercourse. We call these STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). The germs that cause these diseases will have access into you when you commit fornication.

Let me mention only ten of them. (Please notice how big the names of these “animals” are!):

1. Neisseria gonococcus this causes Gonorrhoea.

2. Treponema pallidum this causes Syphilis.

3. Chlamydia trachomatis this causes Non-Specific Urethritis.

4. Hepatitis “B” virus this causes Liver diseases.

5. Herpes simplex type II virus this causes Herpes Genitalis.

6. Trichomonas vaginalis this causes Vaginitis.

7. Lymphogranuloma venereum

8. Haemophilus ducreyii this causes Soft Sore (Chancroid).

9. Urinary tract infection

10. Cancer of the cervix frequent sex at an early age predisposes you to cancer of the cervix. If you wait till you marry before having sex, you may save yourself from all these diseases. But if you continue to commit fornication, then remember that all these “animals’’ will enter your body and make you sick!

7. Fornication brings death.

Fornication will kill you if you acquire the Human Immuno Virus (HIV). Unless God works a miracle, you may die of AIDS. HIV is now a death sentence. It is sad to say that in the charismatic churches there are many Christians who are HIV positive. A laboratory technician once gave me some alarming statistics. A team of lab technicians organized a blood donation event in a charismatic church and out of about a hundred people who donated blood, a large percentage tested positive for HIV. In other words, our churches have significant numbers of people with the HIV virus. Fornicating with your fellow church member may mean your death! Those who are HIV positive can develop AIDS. And when you have AIDS, it means you have a few more years to live.

8. Fornication brings unwanted pregnancies.

Do you want to attend school with your child? When I was in secondary school, there was a man in the sixth form who was said to have a child in form one. How could this be? Probably due to an unwanted pregnancy earlier on in his life.

9. Brings unwanted abortions.

If you commit fornication and become pregnant, it is most likely that you will want to hide it by committing abortion.

You are falling into the same trap that David fell into when he committed adultery. Murder is the commonest evil that follows the sin of fornication.

Abortion is the sin of murder. Many fornicators are murderers. Multiple abortionists are multiple murderers. Dear friend, you may not know that abortion is murder. Medically speaking, abortion is the termination of human life. The human life may be just a few cells, but it is human life! Are you a murderer?

10. Fornication brings infertility.

Let me explain how fornication brings infertility.

During an abortion, various instruments similar to knives and forks are introduced into the womb. This often leads to infection. And this infection often leads to blocking of the fallopian tubes. Young lady, if your fallopian tubes are blocked you will not be able to become pregnant.

Then you may find yourself in every deliverance centre looking for healing. Receive your deliverance now by obeying the Word.

11. Fornication brings unwanted children.

Unwanted children are usually products of fornication. Why should you be pregnant when you are a 16-year-old student? Your child is supposed to be your daughter or son and not your younger sister or brother!

12. The unwanted children become social deviants.

Whenever a child is not wanted, he becomes a reject in society a “pikin na bollo” as we say in Ghana. Many deviants in society have a background of having been unwanted.

I remember a young boy who beat up his mother and left home. No one knows where he is. I asked why a young sixth-former should behave in this unbecoming manner. The answer can be traced to his mother’s history.

This young lad was a product of his mother’s fornication when she was only 15 years old. The boy had been made to stay with different aunties and other relatives. You see, his mother had to continue schooling. When his mother eventually got married, she was ashamed of her unwanted child. So he continued staying with other sympathetic relatives.

Naturally, the young lad grew up doing very poorly in school. He was suspended several times and became what we call a social deviant, a very bitter boy. Now whose fault is it? Do not blame any child who is born out of fornication if he becomes a social deviant!

13. Fornication brings disgrace.

A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.

Proverbs 6:33

Although fornication is an international and cross-cultural sin committed by many people it is still a disgraceful act. Save yourself from this disgrace!

14. Fornication brings hurts and wounds.

Read the story of Tamar and Amnon in the second book of Samuel, chapter 13. Fornication leads to many hurts. Tamar was hurt. Absalom her brother was hurt. King David was hurt. The relationship between Tamar and Amnon was broken forever.

What you must realize is that fornication is essentially wrong and evil. It only leads to many terrible and devastating complications in life.

15. Fornication breaks marriages.

Fornication is often the last straw that breaks the camel’s back in unhappy marriages.

Remember, it is only in the case of adultery that God allows divorce.

God knows that this is the sin which has the ability to destroy marriages.

Chapter 3

Physical Steps to Avoiding Fornication

How can we save ourselves from this disgraceful sin? We are all men of like passions subject to the same temptations as everyone else.

I believe the Lord has shown me some important steps that will keep us all from sin. Four of these steps are spiritual and six are physical. Let us start with the physical steps.

1. No untimely relationships

Very young people should not enter into relationships for courtship.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for entering into a relationship. Why do you want to enter into a relationship when you are still in school? You do not even have a job in sight!. In my church, I do not recognize relationships of teenagers. I will advise you to break it in the name of Jesus! You worry yourself for nothing when you play with relationships at the wrong time.

2. Relationships only unto marriage

You must only enter into relationships that lead to marriage. The only intimate relationship between men and women that God approves of is marriage.

A Christian man and woman must move towards God’s plan, and God’s plan is marriage.

When I proposed to my wife many years before I actually married her, I asked her two questions: “Can you marry a doctor? Can you marry a pastor?”

Marriage was what I had in mind. She was in love with me so she said yes! I had decided that I was going to marry her. She was not just a friend or girlfriend. She had passed on to become someone special the person who was going to be my wife and the bearer of my children.

I remember asking a young man who had been in a relationship with a sister in church for two years, “Are you getting married?” His response was “I don’t think we will. We are just in a relationship.”

I think a lady must be foolish to be in such a relationship. The man is just using you, and will throw you away one day. The relationships that God approves of are relationships that are headed towards His will; and His will is marriage!

If you know that your relationship is not going towards marriage, then it is just going towards fornication. Stop right there!

3. Holy relationships

The Bible says there is a time to “refrain from embracing.”

...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

Ecclesiastes 3:5

If you are in a relationship, there is a time to refrain from embracing. I can hold my wife, I can hug her and I will not be doing anything wrong. But those of you who are not married are not expected to do so. Even when you touch your fiancée’s hand, “osmosis” begins to occur!

In my church we have a few rules for counselling young people in relationships. We do not just tell you to live a holy and a pure life, but you are specifically told what living holy entails. You must only have holy relationships!

4. Early marriage

I encourage people to marry young. The more Christians delay the marriage ceremony, the more likely they are to end up living in sin. What are you waiting for?

In certain churches there are road blocks to marriage. Couples are presented with so many obstacles to delay marriage. But that should not be the case.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy YOUTH.

Proverbs 5:18

The Scripture encourages you to have a wife when you are young the wife of your youth. Do not use the lack of money as an excuse, because you can marry if you really want to. Marry whilst you are still young. Do not wait until you have all the comfortable things in life before venturing into marriage.

When I decided to get married, somebody whispered to my wife to marry someone who had everything in life. I certainly did not qualify because I had nothing!

I have been through some really hard times with my wife, when we did not have any money. We had to warn our visitors to sit in a particular way because our chairs were weak and broken. She even had to go abroad to work to buy us some furniture. I have truly struggled with my wife, so I love her. I did not have to wait until I was an old man to get married.

I love the people with whom I have been through struggles and difficulties. They are different from those who have come in a time of total blessing. When you are already established in life, you will have people interested in you because you are already blessed.

But the wife of your youth will marry you not because of what you have, but because of who you are. It is a blessing to marry young.

5. Non-polygamous marriage

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:25

The only person you must be naked with is your wife; not your girlfriend, fiancée, nurse or secretary.

You are not supposed to have any other wife. God does not endorse polygamy. A polygamous lifestyle encourages fornication.

In Ghana, we have “official” polygamy, where a man maintains two or three wives. But there is an “unofficial” version of polygamy which is practised by most successful people in Ghana.

They have an official wife whom they take to official functions and appear in public with. There are also the unofficial women in the lives of these men. And this is common practice by most of the “big shots” in our society. Such men have no intention of divorcing their wives. They will spend the weekends at special places with these “side” girls. They travel with them to Paris, and generally have a good time with them. But they still maintain the official marriage. We must keep this culture of unofficial polygamy far from us, if we want to avoid fornication.

6. Sexually active marriages

We need to have sexually active marriages. There are many marriages which are not sexually active. It is amazing that before people get married they want to hold and touch each other, but when they get married they can lie by each other like logs. Why commit fornication when you can commit love.

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

Proverbs 5:15

Sex can be likened to drinking water. And we drink water several times in a day. So the Bible admonishes you to have sex several times, so you will not thirst for any other woman. There is more symbolic language in Proverbs 5.

Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad,

Proverbs 5:16

What in sex looks like a fountain? God’s rule for healthy marriages is that the fountains should be allowed to disperse abroad. You must allow the fountains to flow. Some fountains have been closed two weeks or six months. Such fountains are not blessed!

…and rivers of waters in the streets.

Proverbs 5:16

What could these streets be? If the fountains are going to flow into the streets, then God says:

Let them be only thine OWN, and not strangers’...

Proverbs 5:17

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times...

Proverbs 5:19

If you are married, your wife’s breasts must satisfy you at all times! Why should you be playing with somebody’s breast, when you have your own wife’s? One of the ways to prevent fornication if you are married is to have sex regularly.

When you eat and are satisfied, you do not feel like eating any more. Women, especially, should know that when they have sex regularly with their husbands, they prevent them from having extramarital affairs. A man of God fell into sin. I was sitting with him after he admitted he had impregnated one of his church members; he was crying. I was so sad, and I wanted to know how it happened. He described the difficulties of sex he had with his wife. She did not want to have sex with him. She kept complaining that she was tired, or cold.

As soon as the husband committed adultery, she became active. She realized her husband’s adultery was a product of what was going on at home. Some wives are just waiting for their husbands to commit adultery and then they will wake up!

Chapter 4

Spiritual Steps to Avoiding Fornication

1. Honesty

You need honesty to save yourself from fornication. If you have a problem and need help, you have to be open about it. The doctor cannot help you unless you open up and tell him your problem. No one can help you if you do not ask for help.

Everybody needs help, but not everybody wants help. You need to open up and share your problems with honesty. Without the belt of truth and sincerity, you can never receive help from God.

There is a story about a Christian brother who always thought the messages preached in church were directed at others.

The pastor would minister under the power of the Holy Ghost, and this Christian brother would sit in the church assuming it was for somebody else.

After the service, he would thank the pastor and say, “Pastor, bless you for this message. I believe you really ministered to THEM. You really touched THEIR hearts. It’s a message THEY really needed.”

The pastor tried to modify his sermon so that the man would realize that he was actually talking to him but it was to no avail.

Then one day, it rained and there was a flood. No one but this brother came to church. As he sat there alone, the Pastor said to himself, “At last this young man will know that the message is for him.”

The pastor preached his heart out. After that the brother came up and said, “Pastor, that was a very powerful message. If only THEY had come to church today, in fact, THEIR lives would have been touched!”

And that’s how it is. We preach the Word, and people always assume it’s for somebody else. We are simply not honest enough to accept that we have a problem.

2. Prayer

We need prayer to be able to deal with sin.

And said unto them, why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.

Luke 22:46

Prayer is very important to prevent you from falling into temptation. Prayer strengthens you for whatever is coming your way. Next time you fast, get up early and pray before the day begins. You will find supernatural strength to go on.

This strength comes from prayer. When you pray, you build up your spirit and become spiritually strong.

The Bible says the body without the spirit is dead. That means the day your spirit goes out of your body, you will die. It also means that whatever is happening in your body is affected by your spirit.

It helps you to fight off certain temptations. That is why Jesus said you should pray, in case you fall into temptation.

That is why Jesus prayed all the time. Once, Jesus prayed for forty days and nights. Soon after praying and fasting, the devil came to tempt Him, but He was too strong for the devil. The devil had chosen the wrong time to attack Christ.

Many years ago, the devil tried to bring a temptation my way. But that day, the Lord led me to pray for hours. I did not even know why the “tongues” seemed to be rolling out of me. That prayer delivered me!

The Bible says we do not know what to pray for as we ought. Nobody knows what is going to happen tomorrow. But God knows! That is why He said we should watch and pray in case anything happens. The disciples slept on that fateful night. All of them were tempted, and all of them fell. It is not only Judas who forsook Christ on that night. All the disciples deserted their master in the day of His greatest need.

3. Deliverance

Some cases of fornication need deliverance. Other cases do not. If you are always being unfaithful to your husband or wife, you need to be delivered.

Some people, especially the chronic fornicators, need to see a pastor in order to undergo deliverance from evil spirits.

If you have a chronic problem, then you need deliverance. If something drives you to fornicate, certainly it cannot be God who drives you.

…For oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in fetters; and he brake the bands, and was DRIVEN OF THE DEVIL into the wilderness.)

Luke 8:29

When something drives you to sin over and over again, you probably need deliverance.

It is only the devil who drives people. God does not drive people! God does not drive us. Even when you need to be saved, God will not force you to be saved.

I believe that what we need to do is to be humble enough to admit that we need deliverance and ask our pastors to help us.

God does not force us to do anything. I have come to see that if YOU want to go to Hell, YOU will go to Hell and God WILL NOT stop you.

I learnt years ago not to force people into Heaven.

God will not force you to get your deliverance; you must seek God yourself.

4. Seek grace and mercy.

I think the grace of God is the most important factor. You may use all the other steps but you will still fall.

You can use every “mathematical” or logical step under the sun: deliverance, followed by honesty, plus sexually-active marriage and non-polygamous marriage, right through to early marriage, divided by a holy relationship, multiplied by a relationship unto marriage, to the square of no relationship!

It is by grace and grace alone!

The song writer said, “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. Twas grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

Friends, it is grace that will see us through!

*******************

Other Best-Selling Books by Dag Heward-Mills:

Loyalty and Disloyalty

Leaders and Loyalty

Transform Your Pastoral Ministry

The Art of Leadership

Model Marriage

Church Planting

The Megachurch

Lay People and the Ministry

These titles are also available in Spanish and/or French. Information about other foreign translations of some of the titles above may be obtained by writing to our email address.

Table of Contents

Publisher Information

Preface

Chapter 1 - Fornication

Chapter 2 - Fifteen Reasons Why You Should Not Commit Fornication

Chapter 3 - Physical Steps to Avoiding Fornication

Chapter 4 - Spiritual Steps to Avoiding Fornication

Other Books by the Dag Heward-Mills