Daughter Of Destiny

by Dag Heward-Mills

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Copyright 2008 Dag Heward-Mills

Published by Dag Heward-Mills on Smashwords.

E mail Dag Heward-Mills

info@daghewardmillsbooks.org

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Find out more about Dag Heward-Mills at:

http://www.daghewardmills.org

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http://www.daghewardmills.org/lci/

Unless otherwise stated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible

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Contents

Chapter 1 - Daughter, You Can Be Replaced!

Chapter 2 - Daughter, Will You Obey Your Husband?

Chapter 3 - Daughter, Keep Your Place

Chapter 4 - Daughter, Shape Your Destiny

Chapter 1

Daughter, You Can Be Replaced!

There is a principle at work in the earth today. It is the principle of divine displacement and replacement.

This principle simply states that a person can be dislodged from a place of relative security and substituted by another unexpectedly.

You see this principle at work throughout the Bible. You see it in the life of King Saul when he was swapped for King David. You notice it in the life of Elijah the prophet. When Elijah complained about the ministry, God immediately replaced him with Elisha.

In the fifth chapter of the book of Daniel, when Belshazzar desecrated the holy vessels of the temple, a hand appeared and wrote on the wall of the king's palace. The message was simple:

…MENE; God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it. TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. PERES; Thy kingdom is divided, and given to the Medes and Persians.

Daniel 5:26-28

If you do not understand biblical language, then let me explain this to you. It means that you have been substituted! These things happen before you even see them.

In soccer language, you have received a red card. You are going off the pitch! In the next match, someone else will take your place. That is exactly what happened to Belshazzar. He was killed the very night on which the handwriting appeared. He was replaced by a man called Darius. This happened overnight.

In that night was Belshazzar the king of the Chaldeans slain. And Darius the Median took the kingdom, being about threescore and two years old.

Daniel 5:30,31

Daughter, this chapter is all about displacement and replacement. If God has exalted you and placed you in a good place, please respect it and know that you could lose your position if you do not take the Word of God seriously.

I once had to tell someone's proud wife that she should be humble because there were several people who were ready to replace her. A man of God once said, "In a congregation of five hundred there are at least twenty people who are ready to sleep with the pastor at short notice."

Wherever God has placed you, be it a political, spiritual or marital position, please be conscious of the fact that it is by the grace of God. There was a woman who was displaced and replaced swiftly in a move that shocked many observers. She was called Vashti.

Chapter 2

Daughter, Will You Obey Your Husband?

That in those days, when the king Ahasuerus sat on the throne of his kingdom, which was in Shushan the palace, In the third year of his reign, he made a feast unto all his princes and his servants; the power of Persia and Media, the nobles and princes of the provinces, being before him: When he shewed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the honour of his excellent majesty many days, even an hundred and fourscore days.

On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven chamberlains that served in the presence of Ahasuerus the king, To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on. But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.

Esther 1:2-4,10-12

Vashti was the wife of the king. She had a privileged position as the queen. Her husband asked her to do something. Perhaps the instruction was a little controversial, but I wish to use what happened to illustrate an important point. The Bible teaches that wives should submit to their own husbands.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

Because Vashti did not obey her husband, one thing led to another and she was eventually removed. Her disobedience led to a divorce. Someone may argue that her husband gave a questionable instruction that couldn't be obeyed.

I agree with you. But in this case, you will have to compare two bad options:

1. Humble yourself, obey this instruction and preserve your marriage, or

2. Stand up for your rights, refuse to be bullied and lose your marriage.

Which of these is a better option?

Daughter, I suggest to you that it would be wise to retain your God-given position. Do not stand up for your rights all the time. I am not saying that you should allow yourself to be maltreated. In some cases, fighting for your human rights may be more expensive than enduring moments of indignity.

Do Not Oppose Your Husband Publicly

A daughter of destiny does not oppose her husband publicly. Husband and wife may not always agree on everything. If they did, it would be a miracle. A woman may not agree with something that her husband is doing, but she will support him publicly. When they are together in private, she will bring up the issues and discuss her point of view. There is always a time and place to argue or discuss the issues. The Bible teaches that the virtuous woman's husband is respected in the city. He is respected partly because of how his wife treats him.

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:23

Do Not Disgrace Your Husband

How will your husband be respected in the city if you are rude to him in public? People will think that he cannot control his own household.

People will also think that he made a mistake and married an "Ama Tarzan", "Ekua Rambo" or "Adjoa Terminator"! Woman with direction, I submit to you that when your husband is disgraced, you are disgraced as well. That is one of the mysteries of the marriage covenant. When your husband goes up you go up with him. When his face is dragged in the mud, so is yours.

There are some wives who go around saying all sorts of bad things about their husbands. They have one complaint after the other. It is all right to seek help from your counsellors or pastors. But it is not all right to denigrate your husband.

"To denigrate someone," means "to blacken his reputation". Wives must not blacken the reputation of their husbands. A fine balance must be achieved between openness for obtaining advice and humiliating your husband.

Chapter 3

Daughter, Keep Your Place

Why Some Women Are Never Listened To

Wisdom is justified of her children. You can choose to oppose your husband publicly, but I tell you what will happen. He will never listen to you and he will never consider your opinion in any important decision!

What you do not realize is that no one takes advice from his enemy. When you constantly oppose your husband, you occupy the position of an enemy. You are the opposition party to the man.

In my observation of politics, I have noticed that the ruling party never listens to the suggestions of the opposition group. This is because the opposition group is seen as an enemy who does not have the goodwill of the ruling party at heart.

I do not listen to my enemies either. But I pay very careful attention to what my friends tell me.

Have you noticed that your husband hardly listens to your antagonistic outbursts? Watch closely and notice the people he listens to. They are people he perceives as friends and genuine supporters.

Wisdom is different from human rights. It is by wisdom that hopeless marriages and difficult husbands can be turned around.

God is trying to teach you wisdom and not legal rights. You have rights and claims that you can make. Please feel free to do what you want. But wisdom is justified of her children.

Do Not Allow Another to Take Your Place

Vashti was suddenly removed from her high position.

…give her royal estate unto another that is better than she.

Esther 1:19

Where has God established you? Has He made you a wife or a queen? If you do not respect what God has given you, you may lose it. I often tell people that there are two hundred people who are ready to replace them. No one needs to be proud or to feel indispensable. We are all where we are by the grace of God.

Some women do not mind if their husbands are having affairs. They say, "Just do not let me know about it." Decide that you will not allow anything or anyone to take your place. A woman with direction understands the principle of divine displacement and replacement.

Vashti made a tragic mistake. She had one great asset that God had given to her, and that was her physical beauty. Every woman has been given her beauty as a gift from God. You used your beauty to get the man. You must use it to keep him. You used your beauty to attract the man. You must use it to keep your place.

To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: FOR SHE WAS FAIR TO LOOK ON.

Esther 1:11

When Vashti was called upon to display her beauty, she did not! She refused to do so. Many wives do not allow their husbands to gaze upon their beautifully formed bodies. In the name of bashfulness and modesty, many Christian husbands are deprived.

Many years ago, my pastor in London told a story of a mother who was giving her daughter away in marriage. She gave her daughter one piece of advice.

She said to her, "Daughter, one thing that I am proud of is that my husband, your father, has never seen my nakedness."

"Keep it that way!" she encouraged her daughter.

Some wives do not care anymore about how they look. Christian women are supposed to take care of themselves so that they look beautiful. Do not think for one moment that your husband does not notice beautiful women in town. Every Christian man is fully aware of all the beautiful women around him.

Woman, use your beauty to captivate your husband. Do not think that he is not interested in sexual things. The fact that he lies in the bed like a piece of dead timber does not mean that there is no sexual power within him. Unknown to you, his mind may be captivated by other women. Love is something that needs stirring and awakening.

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye STIR NOT UP, NOR AWAKE MY LOVE, until he please.

Song of Solomon 8:4

Christian ladies should stir up their husbands' interest with their physical beauty. But I realize that many women do not believe this advice is necessary. As cases of adultery and divorce occur, people will take these things seriously.

The Old Man's Dog

The human body is wonderfully created by God. The power of the flesh is so strong that it must never be underestimated. In 1983, I met an old man in a little village in the north of England. This man told me that he had lost his dog. He was perturbed and mumbled on about the power of sex.

Initially, I did not understand him. He was an old man whose only friend was his dog. Eventually, I understood that his dog had deserted him and run after a female dog in the village. Being his only friend, the old man was surprised that the power of sex had been able to separate his dog from him.

All that I am saying is that sex is powerful. A daughter of destiny understands this reality. Why quarrel with someone you can charm? Do not say that your husband is not interested: he is! Perhaps you are a proud queen like Vashti, who is not prepared to do certain things. A proud queen will not satisfy her husband's sexual desire.

A proud queen will not be prepared to have sex for any reason other than pregnancy. A proud queen will refuse all forms of sexual variations other than the basics. A proud queen will be too dignified to do anything unusual to excite her husband. A proud queen behaves like a cadaver in bed. Like a huge anaconda, she rarely moves her coiled body. She is too noble to make any movements.

Years ago, I remember a young man who gave his life to Jesus. This young man had been involved in pornography and all forms of licentiousness. His room was always covered with photographs and posters of naked women. After he got saved, he put away all these things and began to live a straight life. He got married and was faithful to his wife for many years.

When his wife became pregnant she banned him from coming near her until after she delivered. Mind you, this was not due to medical advice. She just did not want to have sex. After years of staying faithful, this husband turned once again to a life of lewdness and fornication. Five months into the pregnancy, he began to have affairs with other girls in his community.

His proud queen would still not hear of him coming near her until the pregnancy was over. From that time onwards, their marriage deteriorated into a cat and dog fight in which the husband had numerous extramarital affairs. Secondary school girls took over from this twentieth century Queen Vashti.

Daughter, thou hast a body, please use it, otherwise you will be replaced!

Chapter 4

Daughter, Shape Your Destiny

All things work together for good for a daughter of destiny.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Esther had no father or mother. She was an orphan in the care of her cousin Mordecai. Many people would have given up on life after becoming an orphan at an early age. Esther could have moaned and whined that she was not receiving motherly and fatherly care at the hands of Mordecai.

Please notice the second part of the Scripture. It says that all things work together for good to them that love God. Do you love the Lord?

A woman with direction has her heart set upon the Lord.

Perhaps today you are asking yourself, "Why did I marry this man?"

Perhaps, your life has taken many different twists and turns. You ask yourself, "Shouldn't I have married the other brother?" Your mind races as you think of missed opportunities.

I want you to know that all things work together for good. Perhaps you are well advanced in years and are not yet married. Perhaps you have been married for years and do not have a child. Perhaps you are married to a beastly husband.

I tell you that all things are going to work together for good! Daughter of destiny, it is going to be well with you.

Esther had no father, mother or beloved. She only had a cousin. If God could raise Esther from nowhere, then God can raise you up. Daughter, I predict that it shall be well with you. He is doing it right now as you read this book.

Daughter, You Can Recover

The word salvation also means to rescue. Christ has rescued us from deep waters. A daughter of destiny is someone who can recover from a bad situation. All things work together for good for a daughter of destiny.

And he brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle's daughter: for she had neither father nor mother, and the maid was fair and beautiful; whom Mordecai, when her father and mother were dead, took for his own daughter.

Esther 2:7

Esther's plight was pathetic; she had neither mother nor father. That is a serious handicap with which to begin life. But Esther recovered beautifully and rose to the highest of heights. Woman, you can recover! Some of you have been involved in all kinds of sin. Some of you have been around with countless different people. Your womb has been scraped numerous times to get rid of unwanted babies. Perhaps you were even a prostitute.

I remember speaking to some church members one day when a lady came up to me. She said, "Pastor, I don't want to ever go back to my past." As I looked at her I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say to me, "This woman was a prostitute."

So I asked her, "What work did you do?" As she looked at me, tears welled up in her eyes and she said, "I was a prostitute." I said to her, "Daughter, you can recover! You will not go back to that life anymore."

Daughter of destiny, there is an anointing to recover. Perhaps you have been used and discarded by many men. Your heart and emotions are deeply scarred from your experiences. You no longer have confidence in yourself and no longer believe in people. As He raised up Esther, He will surely raise you up. Anyone who looked at Esther's background would never have predicted that she could be queen. She was an orphan and a refugee. How could she amount to anything? But our God is a God who specializes in making something out of nothing.

Are you nothing today? Are you a discarded rag today? Have you been disappointed and broken in this life? Let your heart be healed today because Jesus will make you a different woman. I see you recovering now!!

Woman, Listen to Advice

If Esther had not submitted herself to her cousin's suggestion to enter the beauty contest, history would have turned out differently.

…Esther was brought also unto the king's house…

Esther 2:8

A daughter of destiny submits to parental authority and to the authority of her husband. I assure you that there are no blessings outside of God's plan. If you want to be blessed, follow God's plan and you will be healed.

I have often thought that a woman's physical development outstrips her maturity. In other words, her body develops faster than her mind does.

I remember a young lady who received several proposals from several Christian brothers. She had no one to advise her. Whenever someone offered to marry her, she would laugh about it with her giggly school friends.

As the years went by, she passed the flower of her age. Suitors stopped coming and soon she realized that she had missed the opportunities of her lifetime.

Many young ladies do not listen to advice at this stage of their lives. Oh what a difference it would make if people listened to advice.

Once such a lady came to her senses many years after the best suitors had gone by. She said to her best friend, "I have really made a big mistake. I wish I had married so-and-so." I can remember advising this young lady in particular. She got so angry with me that she would not have anything to do with me after that.

Up until this day, I can hardly maintain a conversation with her. She was so averse to my suggestions and advice in her younger days. As this lady approaches her menopause, she is still unmarried. Zimbo!* A little wisdom makes a lot of difference to a woman's life. I sometimes look at the brother who would have married her and say to myself, "My stubborn friend missed a good chance."

…wisdom is profitable to direct.

Ecclesiastes 10:10

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* Author’s colloquial exclamation

Daughter of destiny, be submissive and listen to advice. Do not become an old and lonely woman before you admit that you were wrong. Do not wait for your marriage to break up before you believe the advice you have received. I personally think that some people want bad things to happen before they submit to the Word of God.

Woman, Nothing Happens by Chance!

…and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Esther 4:14

A Daughter Must Help Her Father

The years went by and Esther was established as the queen of the land. But trouble brewed and soon Esther was called upon to help. Her cousin reminded her of how she was in a privileged position. He told her, "Perhaps there is a reason why you are here. Perhaps this is why God allowed you to be elevated to this lofty position."

A daughter of destiny will not quickly forget where she came from. She is prepared to help her father. Esther helped Mordecai. A daughter of destiny will remember her father and help him.

Esther may never have known what it cost Mordecai to care for her. Daughter, help your fathers in the natural! Daughter, help your spiritual father! Remember him and remember all that he has done for you. Don't forget what he has done for you. Perhaps, you will never know the price he paid to care for you.

This is a wonderful poem from a daughter to her father. Perhaps, you could write these words to your father.

Dad, as I was growing up,

You always made my world feel safe.

The dear calm of your voice, calmed me…

And the strong circle of your arms circled me.

I never felt vulnerable or afraid,

Because to me, you seemed unshakable.

As I got older, though,

It dawned on me that the world you faced

everyday

Was a lot bigger and scarier

Than the one you had created for me.

And I wondered, sometimes, if you felt

Like relying on someone else's strength for a change…

Now that I am an adult and living on the

outside of your safety net,

I finally understand what sacrifices

You made to make sure "my world"

Felt alright all the time.

Growing up in the sanctuary of your love

Is something

I will always cherish and a memory

I could never forget.

Dierdra J. Brown

I am sometimes amazed that people who have lived with others and at the expense of relatives all their lives, would not like to help anyone in later years. They close the doors to other needy people. They forget what someone did for them.

A virtuous woman has a kind heart. She is generous and helps many people, even those who do not deserve it.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 31:20

Perhaps you are the wife of some important personality today. Perhaps you are living in a rich western nation. Nothing happens by chance. Esther was not a beautiful woman by chance. Her parents did not die by chance. If her parents had been alive, they might not have put her up for the beauty contest.

Perhaps you are occupying a position in which you can employ many Christians. Please note that it is for a reason.

God is the one who established you wherever you are. He will come knocking at your door to ask you for your help. Will you help the cause of the Gospel when it is your turn to do so, or will you find an excuse?

Daughter, God Comes before Marriage!

Esther sent an important message back to Mordecai. She explained that it would not be possible for her to walk into the king's parlour without being invited. She explained that she would lose her life if she did so.

Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and IF I PERISH, I PERISH

Esther 4:16

But Esther put God before her marriage. She obeyed the Word of God. She was prepared to sacrifice her life if that was what it meant. She remembered where she came from. How many women would be prepared to make such a sacrifice for a religious cause? Esther risked everything!

If you put God first you, will invoke a blessing upon your life.

Daughter, Fast and Pray!

Esther asked the people to fast and pray. She believed that prayer and fasting would bring solutions. Daughter of destiny, in all your getting, get prayer and fasting. Perhaps, no one can change your husband's mind. But I know one thing that can help to break every barrier down: prayer and fasting.

Then Esther bade them return Mordecai this answer, Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.

Esther 4:15,16

Esther did not just ask her followers to fast, she told them that she would fast herself. If you want to be a daughter of destiny, learn these principles today.

Your destiny is determined more by prayer than anything else. Jesus determined His destiny by prayer. Three hours of prayer in the garden of Gethsemane ensured that everything would go as planned.

Become a daughter of destiny. Shape your marriage through prayer. Carve out your future with hours of prayer. Pray in the day, pray in the night. Pray all the time. Daughter of destiny, pray without ceasing!

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Other Best-Selling Books by Dag Heward-Mills:

Loyalty and Disloyalty

Leaders and Loyalty

Transform Your Pastoral Ministry

The Art of Leadership

Model Marriage

Church Planting

The Mega Church

Lay People and the Ministry

These titles are also available in Spanish and/or French. Information about other foreign translations of some of the titles above may be obtained by writing to our email address.

Table of Contents

Daughter, You Can Be Replaced!

Daughter, Will You Obey Your Husband?

Daughter, Keep Your Place

Daughter, Shape Your Destiny