Beauty

By

Dag Heward-Mills

Smashwords Edition

****************

Unless otherwise stated, Scripture quotations are taken from theKing James Version of the Bible.

Copyright 1997 Dag Heward-Mills

Email:

info@daghewardmillsbooks.org

evangelist@daghewardmills.org

Find out more about Dag Heward-Mills at:

http://www.daghewardmills.org

http://www.daghewardmills.org/lci/

http://daghewardmills.org/healingjesuscrusade

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my wife Adelaide, who is to me, the most beautiful woman on the earth!

Preface

"I want to marry a beautiful girl." This is the unspoken cry of many young men. However, many of these aspiring husbands do not know the ABC's of beauty.

It is my intention that this short but instructive lesson will show much of what there is to know about this subject.

Husbands and wives will also benefit from this lesson by learning what they can do to enhance beauty, maintain beauty, and sustain attractiveness through all the changing scenes of life.

Contents

Chapter 1: Beauty

Chapter 2: Beauty is Important

Chapter 3: Everyone is Beautiful

Chapter 4: Beauty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder

Chapter 5: Each Age has its Beauty

Chapter 6: Beauty is like a Flower

Chapter 7: Your Beauty depends on many factors.

Chapter 8: External Beauty depends on Internal Beauty.

Chapter 9: Beauty is given in portions.

Chapter 10: Everyone has only one portion.

Chapter 11: Spirituality is preferred to Beauty

Chapter 1

Beauty

God is very concerned about whom you marry. I’m not only referring to your marital happiness, but also to how your partner will influence you in the future.

You see, life is very long and marriage is a very long road. There are many years ahead of the bride and groom after they say, “I do.”Many things are going to happen and much “water is going to pass under the bridge”. Will your marriage make you or break you?.

When God was instructing the Israelites, He was very concerned about whom they would marry, because He did not want anyone to turn their hearts away from Him.

God knew that the wife would influence the husband and the husband would influence the wife. I am a married man. I influence my wife and my wife influences me. It’s as simple as that.

Sometimes men think that as the head of the home they will always lead the way. But you must realize that if you are married your wife will influence you.

Solomon was a great man. He had seven hundred wives and three hundred “official” girlfriends. (Imagine how many baby dedications, christenings or outdooring’s he probably had to attend)!

Solomon was a wise man. One day, Solomon prayed to God in a way that really touched God’s heart. He didn’t ask for money or a new car; he rather asked God to give him wisdom to be a good pastor. God was so touched that He decided to give Solomon more wisdom as well as all the riches he did not ask for.

My brother, can you see that Solomon really loved God? Can you see that he was really called of God? And yet, in his latter years Solomon began to backslide. He became a fetish worshipper. He became an idol seeker. He left the ministry and resigned from his church.

For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

1 Kings 11:4

He started well, but ended badly. How could this happen to Solomon? The answer is simple. Solomon married the wrong women!

First of all, some of his wives were not Christians. Secondly, although some of them were Christians, they were lukewarm. Some of his girlfriends did not love the ministry as much as he did. Remember, Solomon had the purest of motives. No one ever prayed like Solomon did.

Some of the ladies just loved the glamour of being married to King Solomon. They didn’t mind being the 21st or 75th wife. All they wanted was the position (many women are position-minded).

After many years, the effect of the wrong marriages and wrong relationships began to tell. Solomon was not as strong as he was before. He could not continue quarrelling with his wives over church. Solomon was tired of arguing about where to go for fellowship. Solomon wanted peace in his old age. So he just “flowed” with his backslidden wives.

My dear friend, if this is what happened to Solomon whose name is in the Bible, what do you think will happen to you? If you make the mistake of marrying for the wrong reason you will live to regret it.

This book is also about choosing a wife. When a young man goes out to find a wife, he often looks for certain qualities.

The spiritual brothers will say, “Oh, I love her, because she’s so spiritual.” The aristocratic brothers will say, “Oh, I love her, because she’s so educated.”

The Goobley-Gob tribe will say, “I love her because she speaks my language fluently.” But there is one thing that all men look for whether they admit it or not; and that is BEAUTY. Every man wants to marry a beautiful girl.

As I said before, God wants you to marry a beautiful person. But His primary concern for you is whether or not the person you marry will one day turn your heart away from Him. Your choice of a marriage partner is not only important for life here on earth, but also concerns your final destination: Heaven or Hell.

Marriage is something you must not take lightly or wantonly, but soberly and in the fear of the Lord, duly considering the causes for which marriage was ordained.

Since one of the cardinal things most men and women look for is physical beauty, it is important for every Christian to understand the subject of beauty. I want to share with you, ten important attributes of beauty that every Christian should know about.

Chapter 2

Beauty Is Important

...beauty is vain...

Proverbs 31: 30

From this verse, you might conclude that when the Bible says beauty is vain, it means beauty is not important. But that isn’t true. Beauty is vain, but very important.

Why then is beauty vain? Beauty is vain because it will fade.

An elderly lady once came to my church to minister. She took out a photograph of a very beautiful young girl and asked the congregation who it was. Everyone said the photograph was a picture of her daughter. Her reply was a big surprise.

She revealed that she was actually the one in the photograph. This elderly lady had changed so much with the passage of time. Her beauty had virtually faded away.

The old lady said, “Look how ugly my face has become.” She went on to make the point that life was like a vapour, appearing for a short while and then disappearing.

I realized from that day that beauty was really something that was temporary. Beauty is vain because it will fade.

If all you look for in a marriage partner is beauty, then when the beauty begins to decrease with the years, you will look for another beautiful face.

Although beauty fades away, it is still important, because whoever you marry must look nice to you! After all, you will look upon her until you die.

This is the secret every woman must know. Your beauty is important in getting and keeping your husband’s attention. If you had to look good to get him, then you will have to look good to keep him!!

Some Christians who feel they are spiritual, make the mistake of closing their eyes in the choice of a partner. They think that when they refuse to use their physical senses in the choice of a partner, they are being led by the Spirit.

Some people will never admit that the beauty and attractiveness of the young lady were crucial in making their decision. They think such an admission means that they are carnally minded.

But the Bible tells us,

...she[or he] is at liberty to be married to whom she will...

1 Corinthians 7:39

You must marry somebody whom you want to marry!

Do not marry somebody just because she was recommended to you. You must be satisfied and happy with what you see. You are going to live with that person. Marriage is not something you must endure but something you must enjoy. You must marry somebody who looks nice to you!

When I first met my wife I thought she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. And I still think she is. Her physical beauty has always been important in my attraction to her. Beauty will count in your happiness and satisfaction in marriage.

Chapter 3

Everyone Is Beautiful

Everyone is beautiful. There is nobody who is not beautiful in one way or the other.

I will praise thee: for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...

Psalm 139:14

Everyone has some beauty about him or her. You should never think that you are not beautiful. God took time to design you, to create your nose just the way it is. Perhaps He made your ears small, and your lips as full as they are.

God has not made you a disappointment or a disaster. He does not make such things.

If you are short, being short is beautiful. If you are black, being black is beautiful, and if you are white, being white is equally beautiful.

I am black, but comely...

Songs of Solomon 1:5

I do not know what you are, but God made you that way. Look at yourself in the mirror, and admire yourself.

There is no need to change any part of your body. There are women who have undergone surgery to enlarge their breasts. The irony is that there are other women who are also having surgery to reduce the size of theirs!

Accept what you are, and believe that you are beautiful because God made you. Some ladies think of themselves as ugly because someone teased them when they were young.

Maybe in school they called you names. So although you have grown into a beautiful young lady, you still believe you look like a sparrow.

Do not listen to those lies; they are just jealous of you. When people tease you, they are probably jealous of you because you have something they do not have and they envy you.

You must begin to appreciate beauty in everything that God has made. Some people are not happy with what they have. But there is beauty in every man and in every woman.

Look at yourself in the mirror, and admire yourself. There is no need to change any part of your body.

It is funny that those who are short want to be tall, so they constantly wear high-heeled shoes. And those who are tall think they are too tall and wish they could be a little shorter!

You must know that you are beautiful the way you are.

Look at yourself in the mirror again and say, “Lord, I thank you because I’m beautifully and wonderfully made!”

Chapter 4

Beauty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder

In other words, beauty depends on who is looking.

As an African, I have often wondered about how identical the Chinese look. Many times, I have not been able to tell the difference between two Chinese women. To me, they are all alike they have the same eyes, same face, and same skin colour. This is my perception.

However, a Chinese man will be able to see the difference. To him, some of the Chinese ladies are strikingly beautiful and some are even ugly; but to me they are all the same.

In the same way, a Korean may not be able to tell the difference between two Africans. So we judge beauty by what we have been taught by our society. Our environment affects our perception.

The typical African will be looking for certain physical features before concluding that a woman is beautiful. He may be looking at how plump she is, how big her backside is and how fat her legs are! The European might be looking at almost the opposite. He may be looking for what is thin and tall!

I chose my wife because, to me, she is beautiful. Beauty therefore depends on who is looking. Be confident about your choice, since it depends on you.

In Europe, some Africans are noted for using passports belonging to others when they want to dodge immigration officers. Sometimes, they go unapprehended, because the European immigration officers cannot even tell the difference between two Ghanaians, for example.

Some Africans have realized that if they frown, the immigration officers cannot tell from the passport pictures who they really are!

A friend wanted my opinion about the lady he was contemplating on marrying. He thought the lady was not really beautiful. I was totally surprised, because to me she was pretty.

Everyone has a different judgement concerning beauty. Beauty depends on who is looking. So be confident about your choice.

Chapter 5

Each Age Has Its Beauty

There is the beauty of a sixteen-year-old girl that a thirty-year-old woman does not have. There is the beauty of a thirty-year-old woman which is different from that of a sixteen-year-old. There is a beauty of the forty-two-year-old lady, and another beauty of a fifty-six-year-old.

At each age, a person possesses a particular beauty. Therefore, there is no need to wish that your wife or husband would be sixteen years old again.

There are men who are married to beautiful thirty-year-old women, and yet when left alone their eyes hover all over for teenagers. At a point, they begin to think that their wives are not beautiful. But they do not realize that each age has its own type of beauty, which cannot be repeated. You cannot become young again!

The beauty of each age was created by God. You can never rewind to the beauty of a past age. You cannot go backward and you cannot go forward. You are what you are.

Some people think that you can only be beautiful when you are very young. But that is not true. I know some beautiful fifty-year-old ladies. And I know some beautiful sixty-year-old ladies. I have even seen beautiful seventy-year-old women.

Exploit that beauty, corresponding to whatever age you are.

Chapter 6

Beauty Is Like a Flower

...if she pass the FLOWER of her age, and need so require...let them marry.

1 Corinthians 7:36

Beauty has a point at which it blossoms like a beautiful flower. Most plants have a flowering stage. And the plant which flowers is the one that is attractive to both insects and humans.

The same can be said about a woman. There is that age in a woman’s life we call the flower of her age, or the flower of her beauty. That is when you are most noticeable. That is when you are most beautiful, and when men propose to you.

For some women, this stage comes for a short while, but for others the period is longer. Unfortunately, the development of the mind and maturity of most Christian sisters does not correspond to the development of their beauty. This leads many of them to reject the right partner.

When they are at this stage, a brother may propose to marry them. They would laugh it off because at that time others may have already proposed. So many brothers come their way during this period.

Just because you are in the flower of your age should not make you laugh at people who want to marry you. You keep tossing the suitors away. You make jokes about them. You show others the letters they wrote to you. But what you do not know is that this period does not last forever.

You must not only use your emotions. You need to use your mind. Rely on the Spirit of God and wise counsel to know when to marry and whom to marry.

Remember that the peak of your beauty is indeed like a flower. It is temporary.

A Christian once said, “When a brother proposes to you, don’t just throw him off. You must marry somebody with bright eyes for the future.”

When my wife first saw me, I was wearing a blue and white striped T-shirt, and a pair of jeans. That was my standard attire on the university campus.

I wore that everyday. But my wife looked beyond that and said to herself, “This man must have bright eyes for the future.”

I have counselled ladies who wept because they were single at an age when they could have been married. This is very common! I asked, “Why did you ‘bounce’ that brother?” Each replied, “Pastor, I don’t even know why I did that!”

You must not only use your emotions; you must use your mind. You must think logically! You must use the Spirit of God and wise counsel in deciding when and whom to marry.

When a Christian brother proposes to you, don’t just laugh him off because he doesn’t have a car.

I look at some of Ghana’s presidents and leaders. Some years ago, some of them were probably hustlers. Who would want to marry a nobody? But when they became leaders, their wives were probably glad they married them.

I want you to realize that your beauty is not going to last forever. A time will come when you will want to marry anything that is wearing trousers.

Dear sister, be wise and receive counsel before it is too late!

Chapter 7

Your Beauty Depends on Many Factors

Everyone God has made is beautiful. But this beauty can be enhanced by several factors. Beauty depends on your hair, your dressing, your make-up, and even the time of day.

But if a woman have long hair, it is a GLORY to her:.

1 Corinthians 11:15

As a brother looking for a beautiful wife, you must remember that the beauty you see in that lady can increase or decrease depending on certain things.

A lady’s dress today may make her look outstanding. Her hair style tomorrow may make her lose marks.

Even the entire happiness of the lady affects her looks! Pimples are often caused by emotional disturbance.

I tell my wife how I like her hair. To me she looks nicer in certain hair styles. I tell my wife how to do her hair. When she does it the wrong way I tell her, “No, I don’t like it this way.” After all, who is she looking beautiful for?

Since I am her husband, she desires to please me and no one else.

If you are a wise husband, invest in your wife’s clothes. Do whatever you have to do to make her look even more beautiful. You will reap what you sow. If you sow into your wife’s clothes, you will reap great dividends.

Beauty depends on many factors, so invest in those factors. Years after the wedding, Christian wives and husbands must still look attractive.

The Christian wife should not use pregnancy and babies as an excuse for being careless about her looks.

Some of you husbands do not even care what your wives look like! But you admire other people’s wives on television. What a shame!

As a good husband, you must also be concerned about which dress your wife wears because her beauty also depends on her dressing.

I want to tell all women to make every attempt to dress nicely. Some dresses just do not look good on certain women! The fact that you see somebody wearing that dress does not mean that if you also wear it, it will look nice on you.

Beauty is very variable.

Many young men become confused about the looks of their fiancée/beloved. They wonder, “Is this girl beautiful?”

They oscillate in their feelings towards her. What is happening here is that they are confused by the apparent variations in beauty.

If all that you are looking for in a woman is physical beauty, you are likely to be confused.

Beauty also depends on money. The more money you have, the more you can invest in making your wife beautiful.

So Christian husband, here is another reason why you should prosper beauty!

Chapter 8

External Beauty Depends on Internal Beauty

Outward beauty depends on the inward beauty. If you are beautiful inside it shows on the outside. Sometimes I see people and I know that spiritually they are not doing well.

I saw two pictures of a lady who had converted from witchcraft to Christ. One photograph showed her when she was practising witchcraft and the other when she had accepted Christ. They were two different people.

When you are doing well spiritually, the beauty of it shows outwardly.

Proverbs 7:11-27 describes a strange woman who is very attractive on the outside, but very stubborn and loud. Such a person is beautiful outside but ugly in character and emotions.

Some people, especially unbelievers, try to polish their outside whilst they are so nasty on the inside.

Young men, look for the inner beauty. The Bible calls it “a meek and quiet spirit”.

A beautiful wife once threatened to slap her husband in public. She was definitely a beauty on the outside but a tigress on the inside. Look at what is inside in addition to the outward appearance, because it is the two things together that make a person truly beautiful.

Young men, do not be impressed by what you see on the outside. Look out for the inner beauty.

In spite of the fact that my wife is physically beautiful to me, I saw something inside her that attracted me the inner beauty.

When a person has a good spirit, and a good heart, it adds to the person’s beauty.

Chapter 9

Beauty Is Given in Portions

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity...for that is thy portion...

Ecclesiastes 9:9

You need to realize that beauty comes in portions. Everyone has a portion, but nobody has it all. Your portion is what you are entitled to. Your portion will include some things, while excluding others. You cannot have a black and a white wife in one person.

Your wife may be an excellent cook, but she could have problems with being a hostess when your friends come home.

That is your portion, and God expects you to be content with her.

You may know a friend’s wife who is very good when visitors come home. You may admire the way she receives, chats and talks with the guests. You may appreciate her confidence and range of knowledge on political issues. But you may find that she is not able to cook very well. Her stews may be like soups, and her soups like stews!

But God expects you to be content with your wife, including her weaker points. Be content!

No matter how hard you look, you will find out that your portion has its strong points and its weak points.

Now, the Bible tells you to enjoy life with your portion. You can’t have it all. So accept your portion and enjoy it, because that is the way God intended it to be.

Chapter 10

Everyone Has Only One Portion

Do not reach out for somebody’s portion because everyone is entitled to only one portion. One man- one woman. Remember the Genesis story:

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Genesis 2:18

Adam had only one portion Eve, and not Eves. Adam was not given Rose, Rosemond, Rosalyn, Rosemary, or Roseanne. He was given only Eve. In this age of promiscuity, the Christian must truly stand fast in God’s Word by staying forever faithful to his portion.

You are not allowed to have two portions. When you go to a party and you have been served with some food, you may realize that your portion of rice is larger than your neighbour’s. But if you look closely, you will find that your neighbour’s piece of chicken is larger than yours.

However, you dare not stretch out your hand to take your neighbour’s portion of chicken, because you have your own portion. If you take someone’s portion, you are a “bush man”!

That is exactly how God sees you when you are not satisfied with your portion of wife or husband. He sees you as a “bush person”!

You must learn to be satisfied with the portion that God has given you.

Chapter 11

Spirituality Is Preferred to Beauty

...beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

The Bible compares beauty with someone who fears God. If you ever have to choose between beauty and spirituality, choose the latter.

Your portion may not be so beautiful, but very spiritual. This is to be preferred. She may have certain godly characteristics. Choose that! If ever you are faced with such a decision do not hesitate to choose the godly woman, because it is the woman who fears the Lord who will be praised.

When you have to make a choice, it may look as though the person’s beauty is more important, but when you enter into marriage, you will come to see that beauty is always secondary to godliness.

The spiritual person who knows and fears God will become more and more attractive to you as the years go by.

Beauty has very little to offer, apart from what you see. But the spiritual person has her faithfulness, her character, and godliness to offer to you.

You may not believe it, but just ask those who have gone a bit further down the road in life, “Which one is more important?”

Beauty or character? Beauty or spirituality? Beauty or integrity? If your wife does not pray, you are in trouble.

Find a woman who prays. Find a woman who is deep into the things of God. If you marry a greedy, selfish and lazy woman, you will find yourself living in hell. You will suffer, not because she is not outwardly beautiful, but because she is ugly inwardly.

A person who is ugly inside but beautiful outside can be compared to a cemetery.

A cemetery is well decorated with flowers, but as you come a little closer and go deeper, you will see dead men’s bones and teeth sticking out. This can be related to the woman without character; from the outside, she looks nice but go a little further and you will find an angry, lazy, and devilish person. Be careful, my brother. Go for the spiritual person. Godliness is indeed to be preferred to beauty!

*********************

Other Best-Selling Books by Dag Heward-Mills:

Loyalty and Disloyalty

Leaders and Loyalty

Transform Your Pastoral Ministry

The Art of Leadership

Model Marriage

Church Planting

The Megachurch

Lay People and the Ministry

These titles are also available in Spanish and/or French. Information about other foreign translations of some of the titles above may be obtained by writing to our email address.

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1 - Beauty

Chapter 2 - Beauty is Important

Chapter 3 - Everyone is Beautiful

Chapter 4 - Beauty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder

Chapter 5 - Each Age Has Its Beauty

Chapter 6 - Beauty is Like a Flower

Chapter 7 - Your Beauty Depends on Many Factors

Chapter 8 - External Beauty Depends on Internal Beauty

Chapter 9 - Beauty is Given in Portions

Chapter 10 - Everyone Has Only One Portion

Chapter 11 - Spirituality Is Preferred to Beauty