Battles And Blessings Of Being Single

by Leroy Freeman

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise without prior written permission of the copyright holder. Copyright © 2012 Leroy Freeman

Get Other Great Books by Leroy Freeman

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God’s Power Behind The Wire

Death And The Afterlife ~ The Bible Speaks

11 Evidences Of Eternal Salvation ~ Examine Yourself

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Gonna Make Me A Name

3. The Single Lifestyle

4. Satan and Singles

5. Dedication To God

6. Knowing Yourself

7. Going Forth

8. Statistics About Singles

9. Words Of Wisdom

10. Personal Prayers For Singles

11. Invitation To Salvation

1. Introduction

Concerning the single lifestyle, two of the greatest figures that have ever walked the face of this earth were single. They were the Lord Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul.  Both of them lived a dynamic and holy single life.

Jesus and Paul were daily overcomers who pleased God by living their lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, when it comes to living a Christian single life, you are in good company.

Jesus Christ, having been single for over thirty-three years, was tempted in all points imaginable, yet He never committed one sin.

Jesus knows all that singles face. He's been there and He can be touched with the feelings of being single. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus is able to provide comfort, strength, and companionship.

Everybody is single at least once and often single again at some point. Only the duration and the quality of singleness differ.

Therefore, my dear Christian friend, if you find yourself in a state of singleness,  REJOICE. You too can be a daily, dynamic, and holy overcomer through Jesus Christ our Lord and the power of the Holy Spirit.

God has given us His precious Word and it is an an awesome tool that will always be there to help in the time of need.

The Word of God is filled with time-tested truths that will help every single believer be more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ our Lord.

I pray that the words from this book are a blessing and an encouragement to your life. God bless you in your walk with Him.

In the Master's service,

Pastor Leroy Freeman

♦

2. Gonna Make Me A Name

Just a small town nobody, that's what they all say.

And I asked myself how my life turned out this way.

When I was younger I dreamed such big dreams.

But they're crushed and forgotten now. Or that's how it seems.

I craved admiration, money and fame.

I planned to go far, was gonna make me a name.

But I remained a nobody, and never left here.

And my life came to nothing year after year.

Then one winter night as I tossed in my bed.

A Fatherly voice whispered inside my head.

"There's something important I want you to see.

Don't listen to others. You listen to me."

He showed me a book that was dusted with age.

He opened it up then and traced down the page.

I followed his finger and was startled to see

that the entry He stopped at was all about me.

"You may not be proud of yourself, "But I Am."

Then I saw my name written in the blood of the Lamb.

A chill swept my body as he spoke once again,

"Men judge you by trifles, but I look within.

“You had no great fortune, achievements or fame,

But My Son wrote ‘BELOVED’ there next to your name.”

When I woke from my dream I forgot all my shame.

My Lord and my Savior has made me a name.

Author Unknown

3. The Single Lifestyle

“For I would that all men were even as I myself.

But every man hath his proper gift of God,

one after this manner, and another after that.

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,

It is good for them if they abide even as I.”

I Corinthians 7:7,8

According to the U.S. Census, there are about  100 million people living single in America. This is a dramatically growing percentage. Many are single for different reasons:

·           Never married

·           Formerly married, but divorced

·           Separated and living apart from their mates

·           Widows and Widowers

·           Celibate priests and nuns

·           Married-under same roof but have grown cold and distant, thus living isolated lives

In a society where people walk in pairs, singleness is hard for many as they ache for companionship they don't have.

Our society, in many ways, makes one seem odd to be single. Sometimes singleness is seen as a swinging, no-strings-attached, carefree lifestyle. For many singles, this is far from the truth, especially for those who really love God.

We humans have a natural desire to belong. Because of this desire our culture puts tremendous pressure on those who are single. If one is not married or is not in a romantic relationship, people assume that there is something wrong with them and that their life is not complete.

Usually, there is much pressure from peers, family members, and even church people  who constantly pose the question “Why are you still single?”

It is not uncommon for a single person to be labeled gay, lesbian, or just plain strange because of not being involved in a romantic relationship with a guy or girl.

In a world filled with couples, most of the books, billboards, ads, and Internet web sites are targeting single people and focusing on how to help them find partners. It's as though these are the only subjects of interest to single people. Because of this, it can be hard to be single. Before I was married, I knew the ups and downs of being single.

Being single is not punishment. This was the way Adam started out. He was the first one to experience singleness, but what Adam had was an ongoing fellowship with  God.

There are many singles who are perfectly content being single and are living fulfilled, meaningful, and productive lives.

There is no mention that Adam was lonely, unhappy or unfulfilled before Eve. It was God who made the statement about Adam being alone. Adam was so complete in himself and his relationship with God, that God had to make him aware that he did not have another human being like himself to commune with.

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;

I will make him an help meet for him.

And out of the ground the Lord God formed every

beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; And

brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them:

and whatsoever Adam called every living creature,

that was the name thereof.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl

of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for

Adam there was not found an help meet for him.”

Genesis 2:18-20

There is a place of completeness in God for each of us. When one comes into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and is born again, God makes us complete or whole.

We should never need another person to make us feel significant when we are in Christ. Anything besides Jesus is extra.

“... and ye are complete in Him.”

Colossians 2:10

Adam's singleness did not last long; Eve was created. Marriage was God's intention for the human race. He expected man and woman to unite together for companionship, sexual fulfillment, and the preservation of the human race.

God also knew that in our sinful state a happy marriage would not be everyone's experience. God knew that many would have to walk this journey alone; usually men die earlier than women. Also due to wars and the increasing amount of men incarcerated, there will always be a shortage.

The Scripture says the same thing about a coming day.

“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man,  saying,

We will eat our own bread, and wear

our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name,

to take away our reproach.”

Isaiah 4:1

Alone and Loneliness Are Not The Same

Alone means being secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be in that state. Everyone has times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing, if it is under the individual's control.

Many withdraw from others and become isolated. They are alone and longing for connection with others, but don't reach out due to past hurts or feelings of rejection. This is very dangerous for singles. Satan loves to isolate Christian singles and is a master of spiritual warfare. The Devil believes in the principle of Divide and Conquer.  A lonely, isolated person is much easier to persuade that all is lost and that they are of no value to others.

There are seasons when we need to withdraw and listen to God. The most intimate place is the secret place where our spirit converses with God's Spirit. This is a powerful place to be. This time of being alone is very beneficial to those that are single.

The cure for being alone is fellowship with other humans. However one can be around friends and family, and yet experience loneliness.

Loneliness is unwilling solitude. It is an emotional state in which an individual  experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation.

Loneliness is a state whereby  one can feel overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness at a profound level.

Loneliness can manifest itself in feelings of:

·           Abandonment

·           Rejection

·           Depression

·           Insecurity

·           Anxiety

·           Hopelessness

·           Unworthiness

·           Resentment

If these feelings are prolonged, they may become debilitating and prevent the affected individual from developing healthy relationships and lifestyles.

Lies of Satan and Common Symptoms of Loneliness

·           Believing that 'everyone else' has friends

·           Feeling socially inadequate and socially unskilled

·           Being convinced there is something wrong with you

·           Feeling that no one understands your situation

·           Feeling reluctant to attempt to change or try new things

·           Feeling empty, depressed, or even contemplating suicide

The believer’s cure for loneliness is embracing your completeness in Christ. By striving to establish an intimate relationship with the Lord, you can be delivered from disconnection.

If past hurts have lowered your self-esteem and made you distrustful,  you must get past it if you are going to move forward.

·           How is your relationship with the Lord?

·           Is it close and intimate?

·           Or is it cold and distant?

Loneliness is God's way of telling you that you have a relationship problem.

The first four commandments are about our relationship with God. The last six commandments are about our relationship with others. Therefore, the cure for loneliness is in drawing closer to God and then reaching out to others.

Avoid independence and isolation. Restore your relationship with God and establish it with others and you will be rewarded.

“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly...”

Proverbs 18:24

Be friendly and be a friend; this interaction is very important. The Lord can help you find someone who understands and cares, as you attempt to learn from them and share with them as well.

Caution: Accept others for who they are without trying to change them; the friendship will be much smoother.

Remember: All of us stand in need of repairs.

Eunuchs

According to the Word of God, the single life is God's special gift for some, even though some are not enthusiastic about having this gift bestowed on them.

“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born

from their mother's womb: and there are some

eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and

there be eunuchs, which have made themselves

eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake. He that

is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

Matthew 19:12

Paul was one that made himself a eunuch for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake. He gloried in the fact that he was single.

“For I would that all men were even as I myself.

But every man hath his proper gift of God, one

after this manner, and another after that.

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,

it is good for them if they abide even as I.

But if they cannot contain, let them marry:

for it is better to marry than to burn.”

I Corinthians 7:7-9

Even though Paul loved being single, he knew that this lifestyle was not for everybody.

If you have desires of companionship and being physically connected with a partner, it is not wrong to hope for marriage. Those desires come from God. It is His will to give us the desires of our hearts.

You must know and believe that God has your best interest at heart. Keep on trusting and believing in Him. He is able to give you the desires of your heart

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and

He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

Psalm 37:4

♦

4. Satan and Singles

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary

the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking

whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in

the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are

accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.”

I Peter 5:8,9

Even though Satan has been defeated  by the Lord Jesus Christ at the Cross of Calvary, he is allowed by God to remain and roam this earth for a little season. Satan is allowed to test believers to see if they will obey God or not.

Satan is always on the prowl against us seeking to steal, kill, and destroy God's plan and purpose for our lives.

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal,

and to kill, and to destroy: ...”

John 10:10

This enemy of our souls has many tricks, traps, and schemes that he uses against us. We cannot fight this battle alone. We must watch and be on guard at all times. To walk in victory over the power of the enemy, we must be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

“Be strong in the Lord

and in the power of His might.....”

Ephesians 6:10

Concerning the single lifestyle, there will be many pressures and temptations that Satan will use to try to get you to disobey God. There will be many traps to try to entangle you.

Satan approached Eve through three different avenues of temptation – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (Genesis 3:1-7).  Eve was deceived by the enemy and it brought much pain and sorrow into her life.

Four thousand years later, we find that Satan's tactics had not changed. He approached Jesus with the same three avenues of temptation - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (Matthew 4:1-11).

Unlike Eve, Jesus overcame each test and put the devil to flight by speaking and standing on the Word of God.

The fight with the flesh is constant warfare 24/7; we will never outgrow it. It doesn't matter how anointed or deep you are, you will constantly be tempted and tested. If the devil came to tempt Jesus while He was on a forty day fast, how much more will he do the same to you and I?

In the 21st century, the devil's tactics may be packaged differently, but they are still the same three avenues of temptation:

·           Lust of the Flesh

·           Lust of the Eyes

·           Pride of Life

“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh,

and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life...”

I John 2:16

Many fail to realize that our flesh (old sinful nature) is really an ally of Satan. According to Ephesians 2:1-3 - there are natural inborn lusts that we all inherited at birth. Even though one may be  saved(born-again), the lusts still live within.

Our place as believers is to keep the old nature or these inborn lusts in subjection to the new divine nature that we received at salvation.

“...that by these ye might be partakers of the

divine nature, having escaped the corruption

that is in the world through lust.”

I Peter 1:4

The old nature does not like to obey God. It is enmity against God. It is selfish. It wants what it wants, when it wants it, and it does not care whom it has to step over to get it.

“Because the carnal mind is enmity against God:

for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.”

Romans 8:6

Therefore, we are told that we must put to death the evil desires of the old nature.

“And they that are Christ's have crucified

the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

Galatians 5:24

To fight against this old fleshly nature, we believers have to constantly bring these bodies unto subjection to the Word of God. We must constantly cast down everything that exalts itself against what is written by God and His Word.

There are many thought processes that Satan uses to war against your soul. The Devil comes to make singles feel empty and all alone. He'll say you are a misfit and incomplete without a mate in your life.

Years ago there was a song that said, “You're nobody, till somebody loves you.” It concluded by saying, “So find yourself somebody to love.”

Many have succumbed to this voice of reason and have been led into many different relationships, often sexual in nature, which have resulted in failure, guilt, and further feelings of low self-esteem.

One of the main temptations for singles is sex. There is nothing wrong with sex; it was God that gave us hormones. Sex is a part of the human experience, but God created sex for marriage.

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife,

and let every woman have her own husband.”

I Corinthians 7:2

Yet today, sex has become so casual among many who constantly violate God's rules and pierce themselves through with many sorrows.

God's rules concerning sex are there for our good. God is not holding out on you, as Eve thought. His rules are there to protect from guilt, shame, and possible disease.

You may ask, “Well Brother Freeman, what am I to do with these God-given sexual urges? I'm having trouble waiting. Within me, there's a lot of sexual frustration, but no sexual outlet. Everybody else is doing it. Give me an answer?”

I don't have the answer. But, I do know that there are many things in the Bible that are silent when it comes to dates and dating.

Where the Bible is silent, the Holy Spirit within will work on one's conscience concerning Right and Wrong. As one waits on the Lord for direction, one must not displease the Holy Spirit with thoughts and actions.

“And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God...”

Ephesians 4:30

When the Spirit is grieved, He will grieve you. When you are grieved or convicted about something in your life, this is God's way of letting you know that He is not pleased with it. Correct it quickly – lay it aside or the result will be spiritual chastisement.  (Hebrews 12:5-11).

“For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. ... but He (chastens us) for our profit, that we might be partakers of His holiness.”

Hebrews 12:6,10,11  Emphasis mine

Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which lives within you. Respect the Holy Spirit and respect your body. Dedicate yourself to God and don't dishonor Him. Don't bare provocatively revealing flesh. Cover it up. You belong to God and represent Him.

Jesus said, “It is impossible that offenses (that which causes someone to stumble) will  come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!”  Matthew 18:7 Emphasis mine

Temptations will come, but don't let them come  because of you and your actions. You will have to answer to God for that.

Beware: We live in a 'last day' society of many lukewarm counterfeit Christians who are on the prowl. They twist the Scriptures and use smooth talk, while looking for bed partners just to satisfy their fleshly lusts.

I love the term, Guard the Gates or Set Watches.

·           Eyes – be careful what you watch.

“I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes...”

Psalm 101:3

·           Ears – be careful what you listen to.  Is it godly?

“He that hath an ear,

let him hear what the Spirit saith...”

Revelation 3:22

·           Thoughts – be careful what you constantly think about. Thoughts become actions.

“...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things

are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever

things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely,

whatsoever things are of good report; if there

be any virtue, and if there be any praise,

THINK ON THESE things.”

Philippians 4:8

As a man or woman of God, there is an anointing upon your life and others are watching your walk in Christ. Avoid compromising situations. Don't set yourself up in an atmosphere for failure. Strive to be blameless. Protect your godly influence as if you are protecting your very own eyes.

“...whereas they speak against you as evildoers,

they may by your good works, which they

shall behold, glorify God...”

I Peter 2:12

There will be struggles, but don't feel as if you are the only one struggling. You are not alone in your striving to please God.

“...the same afflictions are accomplished

in brethren that are in the world.”

I Peter 5:8,9

The main agents on our side are the Word of God and the Power of the Holy Spirit. They are more than a match for anything that you will ever encounter in this life.

In the times of spiritual, physical, and emotional battles with the desires and demands of the flesh, run to the Word and to the Lord in prayer.

Become very familiar with Romans 6 & 7, and then finish with Romans 8. These chapters have encouraged me over and over again throughout my Christian walk.

You can't fight this battle alone. Victory is accomplished by walking in the Spirit. It's God who is able to keep you from falling.

“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling,

and to present you faultless before the presence of

His glory with exceeding joy ... ‘

Jude 1:24

It is God, who with every temptation, will make a way of escape that ye may be able to bear it.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:

but God is faithful, who will not

suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;

but will with the temptation also make a way to

escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

I Corinthians 10:13

If you should make a mistake and do something contrary to God’s will, quickly repent by confessing the wrong and asking His forgiveness. Learn from the mistake. Strive to never do it again and move on. Don't constantly beat yourself up or allow others to do it, because none of us can cast stones. God is a forgiving God. He is a deliverer. God still loves you.

Jesus arose and now sits at God's right hand making intercession for each of us. Jesus is praying for you that your faith fail not. Jesus said to Peter,

“But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not:

and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”

Luke 22:32

Jesus is praying that you will be strengthened and also be able to strengthen others. Cry out for His will to be done in your life.

The Lord has great things in store for you.  Hallelujah!

♦

5. Dedication To God

“But I would have you without carefulness,

he that is unmarried careth for the things that

belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.

There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin.

The unmarried careth for the things of the Lord, that

she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she

that is married careth for the things of the world,

how she may please her husband.

And this I speak for your own profit; not that

I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which

is comely, and that you may attend upon the

Lord without distraction.”

I Corinthians 7:32-35

The Apostle Paul had a very high view of marriage and he often spoke in positive terms about it. In this chapter, he is saying, marriage is fine, but singleness is better if one is able to handle this type of lifestyle.

“I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,

for it is better for them if they abide even as I.

But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment...”

I Corinthians 7:8,40

Paul favored the single life because of the many responsibilities that come with marriage that the single person is free of. Therefore, the single person can give undivided devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ and attend unto Him without distraction.

When one seeks the Lord with an undivided and undistracted heart with no restraints, there is no limit to what God can do through them.

“And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye

shall search for Me with all your heart.

And I will be found of you, saith the Lord.”

Jeremiah 29:13,14

One of the greatest joys in life is being used mightily of God. This requires waiting on Him. Waiting is not easy, especially in this era of speed.  When things do not happen as quickly as many like, it may seem easier to dash out, make quick decisions, and take independent action. Wrong move. God is not quickened by your haste. You can't hurry Him.

Often times, God is in no hurry. He wants what is good for us, and often makes us wait. In waiting we learn patience and get to see Him in ways that we've never seen Him before.

Through Job's months of personal affliction, he got to see God as never before and he also got a good assessment of himself.  Job said:

“I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear:

but now mine eye seeth Thee.

Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job 42:5,6

Through our waiting, God often points out character flaws that need to be corrected in order for us to see greater displays of His power in our lives.

God’s delays are not denials. He loves us and has our best interest at heart. As a single believer, keep seeking. God has great things in store for you.

If you are single and desire a companion, God knows why you are still single. As you go through this season of experience, maybe the Lord is using this time to force you to turn to Him in a greater way. Maybe He is using this time to get you to lean on Him for complete assurance.

Use your season of singleness to prepare, strengthen, and enrich your life. Seek first to establish a closer relationship with the Father. This is a process; it does not come overnight.

Make daily dates with God. Don't ever stand Him up. Satan hates these dates and will do all he can to stop them. Be faithful:

·           Pray Daily

·           Read God’s Word Daily

·           Worship, Praise, and Delight in the Lord  Daily with hymns and spiritual songs

·           Present your body as a living sacrifice; holy and acceptable to God Daily

Don't be needy and desperate, but celebrate your season of singleness. This is your opportunity to grow, gain greater knowledge, and spiritual strength while living the single life. This is the time to develop your gifts and talents and pour yourself into serving God.

Let God's perfect work be done in you.  Stay faithful to Him and watch Him give you the desires of your heart.

If it's a companion you desire, in His time, He will send that special someone into your life.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in Thy

presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand

there are pleasures for evermore.”

Psalm 16:11

Take the season of singleness to bathe and wallow in the love of God.

♦

6. Knowing Yourself

“LORD, make me to know mine end,

and the measure of my days, what it is ...”

Psalm 39:4

Life is like a journey or a wonderful adventure to explore. In our lives, there are all types of terrain that we encounter. There will not only be 'mountaintop' but also 'valley' experiences. It is in the valley of life that God reveals His most tender, caring, and loving nature in a real and visible way.

Sometimes God will take you out of the spotlight and into the radiance of His love to reveal His wisdom and cleansing. This process will develop stronger faith, greater determination, and a glimpse of Him that you never dreamed possible. God is able to bring you to a place of rest and contentment in Him and give you internal peace, joy, hope, and the expectation of a gloriously safe and secure future.

In order to take full advantage of your God-given potential, you must know who you are. Getting to know yourself is hard work and a life long process. It takes:

·           Time

·           Patience

·           Determination

·           Focus

This process is a form of meditation called self-assessment. Self-assessment is looking inside yourself, concentrating and focusing on you, your needs, and your future.

Accept the challenge to understand yourself.  Take time to figure out who you are. Spend time alone with yourself each day - no music, no television, noise, or interruptions.

Get to know your true inner self. Spend some time in your head. Work on clarifying your feelings. Think about issues in your life that are not clear. Ask yourself the tough questions and take the time to find the real answers.

Don't be ashamed to admit there are problems. All of us have things to work on. God has a plan and purpose for your life. Be determined to seek His face to learn who you are in Christ and what His will is for your life.

David cried out to God for this examination upon his life, and then for direction.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalm 139:23,24

Many lack direction and are confused about their future. They have no purpose. They constantly struggle with questions such as:

·           Who am I?

·           Where am I going?

·           What is my purpose?

·           What do I want for my future?

·           What are my goals, dreams, ambitions?

·           What are my values, interests, abilities?

·           What are my strengths?

·           What are my weaknesses?

·           What are my skills, or natural talents?

Are you an introvert or extrovert? It doesn't matter. God can and will use you for His glory. The Scriptures are full of both types that God has used mightily.

Don't wait to build your identity on someone else thinking that they can complete you. That's not good, because when one's happiness, purpose and self-esteem primarily depends on another, this is dangerous and destructive if the other person fails, dies, or leaves.

More complete identities are formed when one determines their own God-given purpose in life, develops their abilities, their gifts, and builds relationships with a variety of people. Then, this will destroy the feelings of aimlessness and lack of identity.

Don't just settle and be pressured to fit into someone else mold. Prayerfully ponder God's will for your own life and prepare for the future, but live fully in the present.  Be determined to develop your own gifts and talents.

Make a list of short and long range goals and prioritize them. Figure out why they are important to you.

What is the why that causes you to want what you want. If your WHY is not strong enough, it can easily be cast aside and forgotten if it is challenged with delays, denials, and adversities.

Surround yourself with like-minded people who want to stay focused just as much as you do.

If you date, date someone that shares the same beliefs and value system that you have. Talk about those values and beliefs and set boundaries early in the relationship.

Don't allow yourself to wander from where you want to be. How sad to wake up one day and say, “Wow! This is not what I want from life. This is not where I want to be.”

Look for joy in being single and strive to maintain that joy. Take care of your mind, body, and soul.  If you don't, you will never feel complete.

Make commitments and keep them with all that is within you. It's attractive to see someone who has their own life and is busy fulfilling their purpose in life.

Sell out for Christ. In the end, you'll be glad you did.

“And let us not be weary in well doing:

for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

Galatians 6:4

Remember:

·           You are somebody.

·           You are special.

·           You are of tremendous worth to God.

♦

7. Going Forth

“Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise

Thy Name: the righteous shall compass me about;

for Thou shalt deal bountifully with me.”

Psalm 142:7

Single believer, you are somebody. It may not appear to many, your worth, but in God's eyes you are precious. Your place in the body of Christ is just as important as any other believer. You are a piece of the pearl for which Jesus died to purchase.

“...the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a merchant

man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had

found one pearl of great price, went and sold all

that he had, and bought it.”

Matthew 13:45,46

God has a master plan for your life. No matter what has happened or where you find yourself, God knows, He cares, and He understands. God always puts us through things for a reason. The good and the bad are necessary learning processes that we must go through to become more spiritually sound and secure.

Many things you may have encountered have been meant for evil against you, but here you are still standing. God has turned most of it around for good and He's working on the rest. His Word is true:

“No weapon formed against thee shall prosper... “

Isaiah 54:17

When the enemy had you boxed in, God worked miracles and brought you forth. If He did it once, He can do it again. How awesome it is to watch God work things out over and over for our good and His glory.

Therefore, let patience continue to do its work in your life. God is monitoring your situation very closely. His plan is to bring you out stronger, wiser, and better than ever before.

“And we know that all things work together

for good to them that love God, to them who

are the called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

God's ultimate desire is to use you for His glory, to proclaim His truth with power, empathy, and compassion in your daily walk and life. The struggles and tests you go through produce testimonies, which can later be used as an encouragement to many.

God is waiting to use and bless you abundantly. You can fulfill the purpose and destiny that God has for you.

Cherished friendships are jewels of life. Be a friend and watch what happens. Ask God to help you consider places where you can go to make new friends.

“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.”

Proverbs 18:24

“Order my steps in Thy Word...”

Psalm 119:133

Spend time with God seeking to do what He wants you to do. Work on developing a balanced life that combines worship, work, play, rest, and periods of both socializing and solitude.

You can live a wonderfully Spirit-filled and Word-filled, saved and single life that glorifies God. Find other singles that are on fire for God. Get a buddy to occupy time with who will give you healthy feedback.

Plan activities to have frequent contact and exchange with others in a healthy and positive environment. Single bars, clubs, and other hot night spots can be very destructive.

Being single is not a death sentence. It is a time to really get to know the Lord better and draw closer to Him. It's a time to get to know who you are as He prepare you for your purpose and future. Don't withdraw from society. Stay active, because you are needed.

Volunteer to help and mentor others. Positive clubs, educational events, sports, exercise, hobbies, travel, food and dining, fun, family, and ministry should always be welcomed in your life.

Often when people are active and involved in meaningful activities, there is less time or reason to dwell on problems and get into mischief. With a new determination to serve God with all your might and to be a blessing to others, you will be very busy.

As you put God first, in His time, if it is a desire of your heart, your special someone will come. Be content to wait on the special one God has for you. Don't be on the prowl and so pressed to be in a relationship right now. Many relationships that are forced ~ end in disaster.

Remember: You have a bright future. That future is not written yet. Every day you are writing on the pages of your life. There are pages and chapters yet to be written of who you are, what you are capable of, whom you will become, and what you will accomplish.

None of us are perfect yet. Don't wait until then to go forth. Use what God has already given you. You've been taught, trained, and have a set of unique experiences, now go forth and put into practice the ideas you have been learning and make them work for you.

As you make new choices, you will learn what works for you and what does not.  Take risks, trust God,  and continue to move forward as you shape the world for tomorrow.

Smile and march on with a determined attitude that, “with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27).

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares

the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

These words are a reminder from the Lord that whatever the future holds, it's in His hands. In the meantime, may God continue to build your faith, increase your reliance on Him, and gently reveal who you are and what you are called to do in His Name.

May God give you a greater capacity to love and a greater capacity to bring Him glory as He continues to shape you into what He has created you to be.

♦

8. Statistics About Singles

(Chart 1 sources: Marital status data for 1890 - 1970 from U.S. Census Bureau, Historical Abstracts of the United States, Colonial Times to 1970,Series A 160-171, 1989. Data for 1980 -2000 from U.S. Census Bureau, MS-1. "Marital Status of the Population 15 Years and Over, by Sex and Race: 1950 to Present." 2001.)

Solo Singles from History^1

Alvin Ailey (January 5, 1931 - December 1, 1989): African - American modern dancer and choreographer, founder of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. His company popularized modern dance throughout the world with its international tours. West 61st Street between Amsterdam and Columbus in New York City was renamed as "Alvin Ailey Way".

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906) was a schoolteacher involved in the temperance and abolitionist movements before joining with other suffragists such as Elizabeth Cady Stanton to champion women’s rights. She was arrested for voting in the 1872 presidential election, 48 years before U.S. women gained the right to vote in 1920.

Joan of Arc (1412-1431) is a national heroine in France. At age 17 she led the victorious French troops in the Battle of Orleans (1429). Two years later she was convicted of heresy and burned at the stake; in 1920 Joan was canonized by the Roman Catholic church as a saint.

Emily Carr (December 13, 1871 - March 2, 1945): was a Canadian writer and artist influenced by the cultures of Alaska and British Columbia. She was named “The Mother of Modern Arts” by the Group of Seven, her work was exhibited at the National Gallery of Canada, and her book "Klee Wyck" won the Governor General's Award. Multiple Canadian public schools, as well as an institute of art and design, are named after her.

Contemporary Solo Singles^1

Helen Reddy (October 25, 1941 - ): Australian pop singer and actress. She scored an international hit in 1972 with "I am Woman", a song that quickly became a feminist anthem and hit #1 on the U.S. charts. Reddy has also appeared in many movies and television series, including two that she hosted.

Janet Reno (1938- ) was appointed by President Bill Clinton as Attorney General, the first woman to hold that post. Reno served the longest term as Attorney General since William Wirt in 1829. Prominent cases prosecuted during her term include the Unabomber, the Oklahoma City Bomber and the Microsoft Antitrust case.

Dr. Condoleezza Rice (1954- ) served as U.S. Secretary of State and is the first African-American woman to hold that Cabinet post. She previously served as National Security Advisor (2001-2005), was Provost at Stanford University (1993-1999) and was a top advisor on Soviet and East European affairs during the breakup of the Soviet Union. In 2004 and 2005 Forbes Magazine ranked her as the most powerful woman in the world.

David Souter (1939- ) was Attorney General of New Hampshire, and currently serves as an associate justice for the United States Supreme Court. He was a Rhodes Scholar and attended Harvard College, Oxford University in England and Harvard Law School.

Single American Presidents^1

Can an unmarried person become President of the United States?

Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) had been widowed for 19 years when he was elected as the third President.

Andrew Jackson (1767 - 1845) was single during his service as the seventh President because his wife died just before his inauguration.

Martin Van Buren (1782 - 1862), the eighth president had been widowed for 14 years when elected.

James Buchanan, Jr. (1791-1868) was the 15th President and the only one never to marry.

1 Source: http://www.unmarried.org/unmarried-people.html

Americans, Generally

There are nearly 93 million unmarried Americans over age 18, representing roughly 42% of the adult population. - U.S. Census Bureau. “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2007.”

Unmarried Americans head more than 51 million households. - U.S. Census Bureau. “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2007.”

In 2005, unmarried households became the majority of all U.S. households. - U.S. Census Bureau. American Community Survey: 2005.

46.6% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are male and 53.4% are female - U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey (CPS), 2008.

23.0% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are people of color and 77.0% are white. While a clear majority of the unmarried population is white, it is considerably more racially diverse than the married population. - U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey (CPS), 2007.

39.2% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older were formerly married and 60.8% have always been single - U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey (CPS), 2008.

Beethoven  was a confirmed bachelor in the later years of his life. http://classical.net/music /comp .lst/beethoven.php

Michelangelo was a bachelor. http://en.Wiki pedia.org/wiki/Michelangelo

John the Baptist was a bachelor. Matthew 3:1-6

All of these individuals had their own reasons for remaining single.  They all made great contributions to society.

You're Next. “With God all things are possible.”

♦

9. Words Of Wisdom

“The eyes of all wait upon thee;

and Thou givest them their meat in due season.

Thou openest Thine hand,

and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.”

Psalm 145:15,16

·           Dance with God and He'll let the perfect person cut in.

·           Some questions only have answers in Heaven.

·           Difficulty and disappointment are often

times used to bring us closer to God.

·           In our darkest times, when we come to the end

of ourselves, we find that God was there all

the time and that He is more than enough.

·           “Many are lonely because they

build walls and not bridges.” 1

·           Many take the plunge without knowing what's in

the pool and climb out hurt and disappointed.

·           Saying “I do” may change your legal relationship,

but it does not change your character.

·           Don't enter a marriage expecting to remodel

your mate into something else. You can't.

·           Don't marry someone for who they might become.

·           Marry them for who they are right now.

·           “There's many a girl who got married because

she didn't like to spend her evenings alone –

and then got a divorce for the same reason.” 1

·           Our plans are not always God's plans.

·           When we obey God, He is pleased.

He honors our obedience by blessing us.

Deuteronomy 28:1-3

·           As believers, we need each other,

but our ultimate security is Christ.

1Mac's Giant Book Of Quips & Quotes, E.C. McKenzie, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Copyright 1980

♦

10. Personal Prayers For Singles

“Call unto Me and I will answer thee, and show thee

great and mighty things which thou knowest not.”

Jeremiah 33:3

·           Lord, help me to find Your purpose for my life. Help me to make wise choices that glorify You.   Amen

·           Father, help me to be patient and wait on You. Help me not to miss any great things You might have in mind for my single years, by demanding they come to an end on my timetable.   In Jesus Name.  Amen

·           Father, in the Name of Jesus, just as Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, send the Holy Spirit to do the same to bring my future partner to me.  Amen

·           Lord, help me to endure life's trials faithfully. I have been on thin ice for a while now. Help me to never give up or lose hope. I pray that You satisfy the longings of my heart.

·           Lord, I pray for others who are struggling and need their hearts healed by You. I pray that You would wrap Your loving arms around them and comfort them through the power of Your Holy Spirit.  Amen

·           Father, I thank You that You care about every aspect of my life. Help me look beyond the lies of Satan and focus on the identity of who I am in Christ.  You know what I need right now. I pray that You will provide.  Reveal Yourself.  In Jesus Name.  Amen

·           Lord God, I know You are genuinely involved in all Your children's lives on a personal level.  You desire good things for them. So, I ask that You fulfill all my needs and desires according to Your master plan for my life.

·           Lord, I thank You for Your heart towards Your children, knowing that You are just waiting to eagerly bring joy. I wait in expectancy.  In Jesus Name.  Amen

·           Lord, Your Word says, for everything there is a season. In Your Sovereign plan, this is my season of singleness. As I go through this season of separation to Your Divine will and purpose, I pray that in the lonely times, I may find comfort in the arms of Your great love.  Amen

·           Lord, help me to see and appreciate afresh the great things about this journey of singleness. Thank You for the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. Help me embrace Your will and look with anticipation for Your grace in the broken and hurting places. Thank You for the victory. Father, I thank You for hearing and answering prayer.  In Jesus Name.  Amen

REMEMBER: Our God,

“....He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.”

Hebrews 11:6

♦

11. Invitation To Salvation

“For WHOSOEVER shall call

upon the Name of the Lord shall be Saved.”

Romans 10:13

The verdict for all of us was the same – Guilty.

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Romans 3:23

God could have left us in this state for all of eternity. Instead, He moved on our behalf and provided us a Savior. Our salvation cost Him the best that He had, His only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in Him

should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16

The life of Jesus was all good. No one could point out any sin or wrong doing in His life (I Peter 2:22). Even those that were planted to falsely accuse Him, could not get their lies straight (Mark 14:56).

The ministry of Jesus consisted of Him going about and doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil ( Acts 10:38).

Mankind showed the depths of sin by rejecting Jesus, torturing Him, and nailing Him to the cross.

“He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not.”

John 1:10

In His dying hour, Jesus was thinking of us. He prayed,

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Luke 23:24

God is still answering today the prayer of forgiveness that Jesus prayed for us.

Regardless of what you have done, if you REPENT of your sins, and tell God you are sorry for the wrong you have done, He has promised to forgive you.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”   I John 1:9

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ,

and thou shalt be saved...”

Acts 16:31

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,

and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead,

thou shalt be saved.”

Romans 10:9

“...how much more shall your Heavenly Father

give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?“

Luke 11:13

If you are unsaved, you can be changed for all eternity.

Pray with me: Father, forgive me for all the wrong I've done. Cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I receive Jesus as Savior. Come into my heart in the Person of the Holy Spirit.

Help me to live for You from this moment on. Thank You for saving me and making me Your child. In Jesus Name.  Amen

If you have sincerely prayed this prayer, I welcome you to the family of God.

Email me and let me know of your decision so that I may rejoice with you.  leroyfreeman@mtcm.com

May God richly bless you in your walk with Him.

In the Master's service,

Pastor Leroy Freeman

♦

Get Other Great Books by Leroy Freeman

Freedom From Fear And Worry ~ Surviving The Storm

God’s Power Behind The Wire

Death And The Afterlife ~ The Bible Speaks

11 Evidences Of Eternal Salvation ~ Examine Yourself

Public Domain Titles Edited by Leroy Freeman

Lord Teach Us To Pray

The Pursuit Of God

As A Man Thinketh

The Chocolate Soldier

♦

Table of Contents

Copyright

1. Introduction

2. Gonna Make Me A Name

3. The Single Lifestyle

4. Satan and Singles

5. Dedication To God

6. Knowing Yourself

7. Going Forth

8. Statistics About Singles

9. Words Of Wisdom

10. Personal Prayers For Singles

11. Invitation To Salvation

Other Books by Leroy Freeman