Finding Bread

Book Two of the Series

AMAZED BY HIS GRACE

SISTER T

Copyright © 2012 Sister T

All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

To my precious children, who are all grown up,

but still let me hang out with them anyway

Two things have I required of Thee; deny me them not before I die: Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny Thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.

[Proverbs 30:7-9]

CONTENTS

Over The Hill

Finding Bread

To Save, Not To Condemn

Growing Seasons

Not Hurting Anyone Else?

Signs Of His Love

David After God’s Heart

The Unopened Gift

End Notes

OVER THE HILL

I woke up in a joyous mood. For some reason, I felt an exhilarated sense of freedom I had not known before. I never thought I’d make it this far! I felt as though a door had been opened and I rushed through it eagerly!

That was my “big 5-0” last year. I had wondered for several months if I would be gloomy on that day. Birthdays normally do not depress me. Even birthdays ending with “the big 0” do not upset me at all. I mean, I sort of understand how they bother some people. I’ve had a couple where I felt rather melancholy. I can only remember that happening twice, neither of those having a “big 0” at the end. Most years, my birthday sneaks up on me and I don’t even realize it until it’s here. I guess my age is, as my 90-year-old grandmother says, “just a number” to me too. The 50th birthday had seemed like a big deal to several of my friends. So I didn’t know how I would feel when I got there.

It was a good day for pondering. I mean, half-century milestones don't just come along every day. Of course, there were the predictable "over the hill" jokes from my younger (and meaner) siblings and friends. My church family surprised me that evening at Bible study with a splendid little party. Bible study is already my favorite service of the week because I don’t feel compelled to wear a stupid dress. They had the black balloons and “old people” gag gifts. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

As I continue to share stories of how I am Amazed by His Grace, I must admit that I’m not accustomed to having an “open book” life. It may be hard for you who know me now to believe this, but in my younger years I was shy. Painfully shy. So what happened? How did I grow from a timid seventh grader, crying every night, begging her mother to let her quit school, to become the outspoken blabbermouth that I am today? I blame my children! Not really. I just wanted to say that because everyone these days seems to be blaming their parents for who they are.

I was blessed to have a mother who ignored my pleas to quit school. Even though she had four younger children to tend to as well, she’d just sigh, tell me to get my books and help me with my homework. And I was blessed to make new friends during those awful years of adolescence. I am still blessed to have many of those friends today. They are gold in my opinion!

My generation endured the teasing and taunting that all school kids go through. We never had to worry about one of the other kids bringing a gun to school. Oh sure, all the boys carried knives – and some of the girls too. Back then those were not for stabbing classmates or teachers. They were for sharpening pencils or carving little wooden whistles or trinkets. It was a much more peaceful era. And children actually respected their elders and those in authority.

Still I was plagued with that one issue which seems to be common in our society. I wanted to be like everybody else. I wanted to fit in. I worried about what everyone else was doing – because that’s what I thought I needed to do too. That was the one thing I wanted most in my youth: to be like everybody else. Although I never quite felt accomplished in that area, I was blessed to outgrow it after high school. No offense to all you golden friends of mine, but we are each unique and extraordinary in our own way. It is quite liberating to embrace that fact.

However, when my 50th birthday approached, I had misgivings again. Quite frankly, I’m not one of those people who wish I could “go back” to some other time in my life. The way I see it, I’ve already survived all that – why would I want to do it over again? The old saying, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is more how I feel. I want new adventures, new experiences. I want to keep learning and growing and doing something until I leave this life. Once I discussed the changing seasons and which we liked best with a much older friend. She said autumn was her favorite because it was the time of harvest. The work had been done and she could look back with satisfaction, enjoying the last bit of pleasant weather before winter. Still in my thirties at that time, I understood what she meant. I explained that I preferred the spring. Everything is reborn after the cold harsh winter – a promise of new life – a new beginning. Although I’ve come to appreciate the autumn much more than I did then, I still love the spring! I wonder if this liberty I felt was a part of what she meant.

Maybe a lot of my harvesting has been done already. I hope I did the job well. I will continue to look forward to the spring. I won’t worry so much about what everyone else thinks or what everyone else is doing. I won’t try so hard to be like everyone else. I will follow Jesus, wherever He leads. And I hope and pray that one day, when the seasons of my life come to an end, He will say, “Well done, My child.”

So that’s how I felt about reaching the big 5-0. Free at last! Liberated! Delighted to say the least! I accept the fact that in all likelihood, I am on the down hill slope of this life here on planet earth. Let's be realistic, not many folks live to be 100 or older. As I look back – and forward – I realize how genuinely blessed I truly am. I am overwhelmed at the faithfulness and everlasting love of the Living God. If I do live to be a hundred, I will never be over the Hill. The Hill of Calvary, that is. My biggest regret ever is that I wasted nearly 30 years before I truly surrendered myself to Jesus. And while I have not always been faithful, He certainly has!

I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 3:13-14]

FINDING BREAD

Many years ago, I had the privilege of being janitor and procurement officer (aka gopher) at the church I attended. Our policy about using the fellowship hall was that anyone who used it, cleaned up afterwards, leaving it ready for the next event. Without fail, everyone who used it on my watch was faithful to clean everything up and take out the trash. Yet no one ever put a clean bag in the trash can.

Afterwards, they’d tell me, “We emptied the garbage, but we couldn’t find any bags to put a clean one in the can. We looked everywhere – you must be out of trash bags.”

And since I was the stock person – I’d go over to the drawer where we kept the trash bags. The bottom drawer – you know – the one closest to the trash can. I’d pull it open and take out a new trash bag.

Then they’d say, “Oooh, we didn’t look there.”

Being the polite and proper lady that my Mother raised me to be, I just smiled and said nothing.

Silently I always wondered, “Why didn’t you look there? You just told me you looked EVERYWHERE. So why didn’t you look THERE? After all, THAT is where the trash bags have always been. If you had looked everywhere, you would have looked there and found them.”

Even so, I didn’t say any of that. I just smiled. And I wondered.

Well, I mean, what do we do when the weatherman says it’s going to snow? Since we live in this southern rural area, where we don’t cope well with winter weather, we look for bread. Right? We go to the Save a Lot to get bread. Generally, if we’re not one of the first 20 customers that day, Save a Lot is already out of bread. So then we go to Smith’s Grocery and they’re out of bread too. So we stop at Castle’s, then the Raceway, then the BP Station. While we’re leaving the BP station – still breadless – we’re hoping that maybe this time the roads won’t get too bad. Or at least maybe the power won’t go out. If the power stays on we can still fry flapjacks or bake biscuits or cornbread or something. That reminds us we’d better get batteries for the flashlight – just in case. And we head over to the Dollar Store for batteries.

We walk in the Dollar Store and look – THERE’S BREAD! So we get the bread and go home to wait for the snow. See, we looked everywhere and found what we were looking for – right where we DIDN’T EXPECT to find it!

That’s how it happened one night long ago. A group of plain working men – shepherds – were out watching their flocks at night. These men were even third shift workers. They weren’t high class or important people in the eyes of society. They were working people who wandered the plains, dwelt in tents, and tended to livestock. An affluent acquaintance of mine once described someone to me with this statement: “He came from a family of working people.” While I naturally perceive that to be a great compliment, I knew by the disdain in his voice and the distasteful look on his face that his opinion was quite different. He considered the “working man” and his family a lower class of people than himself. I don’t know why he bothered talking to me! That’s how shepherds were regarded at that particular time. These working men, who were going about their usual nightly duty of watching sheep, found something that night – right where they DIDN’T EXPECT to find it.

When the angel suddenly appeared to them – immediately – unexpectedly – they were obviously frightened. As the angel reassured them with the famous words, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people,”[a]  these simple working men’s hearts must certainly have pounded wildly as adrenaline rushed through their veins. The angel goes on to tell them the most wonderful news ever heard by mankind: “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”[b]  What? The whole world has awaited the arrival of God’s Christ – His Anointed One. And now the news is first given to a group of common working people?

If all this didn’t astonish enough, the angel’s next words must have surprised the shepherds even more. If their minds were beginning to be calm enough to realize what was happening, they no doubt expected the Child to be in a palace, or at least a stately home. So when the angel proclaims the improbable location of the Christ Child, “And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger,”[c]  the shepherds may have even begun to doubt. After all, how could it possibly be the Son of God in a modest stable – wrapped in swaddling clothes? Swaddling clothes were the cheap grave clothes of the day – used to wrap the bodies of the dearly departed.

Perhaps it was to dispel any doubts which may have been creeping into the shepherds’ minds. Or perhaps it was just because God Himself was so delighted in the birth of His Son. Suddenly the sky is filled with a multitude of angels praising God! The whole ensemble exclaims, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!”[d]  How could it NOT be the Son of God? How could it be any other than the very Son of God? With such an announcement as this, although proclaimed to mere shepherds, it must truly be the Son of God. The shepherds wasted no time after the angels departed. They made their way into Bethlehem to find the Child just as the angel had described. They’d found bread – right where they DIDN’T EXPECT it.

There are a couple of points I see illustrated in these scriptures. First of all, God can get His message across to us wherever we are. Even if we are going about our daily business, He can send us a message. Often it is in the most unexpected ways at the most unexpected times. We don’t have to quit our day jobs (or night jobs) to sit and wait for His guidance. We don’t have to be rich or famous or important in a worldly sense to be important to God. And we should never assume that God has run out of the ability to provide for us or to know what is best for us.

Second, God will deliver His message to those who are available and willing to hear His word. Many people want to serve God – but only in an advisory position. We sometimes want to tell God how to do things that we “know” He wants to do for us because He loves us. Yet, so often, the greatest of blessings are totally unexpected. We ask for something and have it all planned out in our minds how God should answer. God answers – in His way – in His time. And it’s better than we could have imagined. We so frequently find bread – right where we don’t expect it.

Did you ever know someone who could get you to do things for them and make you feel as though they were doing you a favor? These people come to you with a plan already formulated for their benefit. But they can explain it to you in such a way that it seems like it’s all for your good instead of theirs. It’s usually someone we love who can pull that off. A few of my loved ones are actually quite skilled in that art. They’re not really trying to hurt me; they’re just trying to get what they want. And more often than not, it’s something I don’t mind helping them with or doing for them anyway. Often they seem to believe they have to present it in a way that seems more advantageous to me.

I’m afraid that’s how I often go to the Lord in prayer. I want to ask for something, but I want to make God believe that it’s His will for it to work out my way. If you’re human too and you’ve spent some time in prayer, you probably know exactly what I mean. A preacher said that prayer is how we talk to God and the Bible is how God talks to us. If we will open our minds and hearts to the word of God, we can better appreciate and accept the will of God. We really shouldn’t do all the talking in our relationship with Christ anyway. We should listen too. So we’ll know where to find bread.

And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. [John 6:35]

Luke 2:1-20

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

TO SAVE, NOT TO CONDEMN

As the religious rulers of His day criticized and contested the authority of Jesus, He continued to minister to the “poor in spirit.” His choice of company was often a cause of criticism by the scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees. While the religious leaders considered themselves holy because of their ceremonial rituals, Jesus demonstrated the compassion of God by reaching out to those who acknowledged their own unworthiness.

When Jesus talked with the Samaritan woman at the well, she was astonished that He would give her the time of day.[e]  He explained to her that God wanted people who would worship Him “in spirit and in truth.”[f] Jesus was revealing to her what God had said in Deuteronomy 4:29: But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.

One of my favorite passages is where God hides Moses in the cleft of the rock as He passes by and declares His glory: The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth. [Exodus 34:6] Jesus certainly portrayed these attributes of God during His earthly ministry. Over and over again, He touched the “untouchable” ones – the lepers, lame, blind, and sinners. Any blemished ones who came to Him, He received, forgiving their sins, healing their infirmities. Yet the self-righteous leaders shunned the very ones whom Jesus sought out. They wanted to kill Him for healing on the Sabbath day – instead of glorifying God for the miracle He performed or even being happy for the man who was healed![g]  That demonstrates the stark difference between the compassion of God and the compassion of man.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. [John 3:17-18]

Every person is condemned already by sin. Jesus does not condemn us. We are already condemned by sin – our very own sin.

By showing love to sinners while He was on earth, Jesus demonstrated that the Kingdom of God is indeed for “whosoever will.” He proved that God is not a respecter of persons in the way that the world or society judge a person’s worth. Surely the “sinners” who followed Jesus felt a special bond with Him for reaching out to them and accepting them into His circle.

I feel a special bond with Jesus too since He has accepted me into His Kingdom. When I think of how He worked in my life to bring me to salvation, I often think of the story of Ruth. The section where Boaz commands his workers, “let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not,”[h] especially reminds me of the many times in my life that the workers of Christ did just that. If there had been any special worldly requirements - wealth, fame or glory - to enter the Kingdom, I surely would have no hope. But praise the Living God, Jesus came to seek and to save sinners - of which I am chief!

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. [Luke 19:10]

GROWING SEASONS

Teardrops fell freely onto the local paper as I read the "Letters to Santa" section. The compassionate wishes of these youngsters impressed upon me the truest meaning of Christmas. Almost every letter contained wishes for those less fortunate and many asked nothing for themselves at all! Several letters apparently were from the classmates of a young boy whose family had recently lost their home in a fire. His classmates wrote with such concern for young J.C. and his family. It seems they had lost not only their gifts, furniture and clothing, but the very home in which to enjoy such blessings.

Obviously, I thought, putting down my paper, the future is not as grim as I have been lead to believe. With a generation like this growing up, there is hope. A lot of hope! But, I reflected guiltily, am I doing my part?

I looked around at box after box of neglected toys. It was my responsibility — and my privilege — I realized, to teach my own children the true meaning of Christmas. Oh yes, I had read, told and even sang them the story of the birth of Christ many times. They understand, as best a four and five year old can, all about the who, what and why of that glorious first Christmas Eve at a stable in Bethlehem. But do they understand, I wondered, what it means today? Can they apply the knowledge of this divine event to their everyday lives? That is where our lesson must begin.

Years ago, the County Sheriff began a program to collect toys, food and clothing for families just like J.C.’s who had suffered a severe loss, or were enduring financial difficulties at Christmas time. While it’s true that local politics can cause deep divisions, I’m happy to say that every one of his successors followed his lead regarding that idea.

"The Sheriff," I said, "has a very special job to do at Christmas. Every year, he collects toys, food and clothing for children who would not have all these things without his help. He helps to make their Christmas merry by taking away the sadness of being left out." I ended my story, explaining how we can help the Sheriff. "We will give him toys and clothes that we no longer need and buy a few extra things at the grocery store for his food baskets."

It is quite a shocker to children who have more playthings than the local toy store to learn that some children go to bed hungry each night. Soon, there are enough toys piled in front of me to fill a huge garbage bag. While we clean and inspect each toy for damage, I am bombarded with excited questions.

"Is he a real Sheriff with a gun and a badge?"

"Will you take us with you to give him the toys?"

"Do you think this toy will be too scary?  I don't want a little kid to be scared."

"Can we take the toys to the Sheriff, now?"

"Mama, I want to meet that Sheriff."

As I answered the steady stream of questions, my mind drifted back to a Christmas many years ago.  It was the same year I’d smashed my finger in the car door. My dad was in the hospital and we’d been to see him. That happened earlier in the year, in the spring time, about a month before school was out.

Moma had taken all five of us kids to see Daddy in the hospital. When we got back home, we were all tired and anxious to get out of the car. I was helping her with “the babies,” as we called my two youngest brothers. They were still toddlers, but already resented being called babies. After everyone had exited the car, I slammed the door – hard – right on my finger. In a panic, I jerked my hand back with the door still shut on my finger. It almost ripped the nail completely out. But when I screamed, Moma came running and opened the car door quickly.

I screamed even louder when I saw my finger. The nail stood out at an awkward angle and blood spurted onto the good clothes I had worn for the trip to the hospital. It looked as if the whole end of my finger may detach. Moma rushed me into the house to wrap a clean towel around it. Then she rushed us all back out to the car. Thankfully, it wasn’t late enough for our local doctor to be gone home yet. He was a jolly man and his clinic was less than ten minutes from our house.

The doctor patched up my finger and replaced Mom’s towel with a real tiny cast-type bandage. He teased me good naturedly – telling me that I’d done a real good job smashing my finger. He had a way of teasing that actually did make me feel better. He gave us gauze, salve and care instructions before we left. My wound still looked pretty nasty. I was a little happier about it the next day at school. Because it was my right index finger, I didn’t have to complete any written assignments for some time.

When I happened to overhear one of the girls who sat at my table whisper to a classmate, “I betchey her fanger ain’t even hurt; betchey she’s just got it wrapped up to get outta writin,” I was furious, but said nothing. I pretended not to hear the comment at all. A little while later, right before lunch, as she sat next to me at the table, I gingerly slid the bandage off my finger. It looked awful – really gross – all yellow and red and oozy looking from the salve. What was left of the nail was turning black. She gagged and almost puked as I waved it around a little. The doctor did say to let it get some air every day. I studied my wound closely for a minute or so before I put the bandage back on. Time for lunch.

That summer brought more pain. This was a pain even more intense than a smashed finger. My brothers and I spent most daylight hours outside unless it was raining. On this particular day, we knew something was wrong when we saw Daddy turn in the driveway. He got out of the truck and ran to the house. Normally a red man, whose Cherokee heritage is evident in his complexion and features, Daddy was white as a ghost that day. He had that look on his face we’d seen many times. It seemed like every time someone in the community died, the family called Daddy.

We ran for the house too, to find out what was wrong. Before we could get there, Moma and Daddy were running out of the house to the truck. We all piled in and headed out. I still didn’t know what had happened, but something was terribly wrong. We didn’t go far. Daddy pulled into a driveway less than a mile from our house. Then I saw Grampa’s truck against a tree in the field. Grampa was slumped over the steering wheel, but the truck was barely dented. My mind couldn’t accept what my eyes saw. It wasn’t a bad wreck, so he couldn’t be hurt. He had to be okay. He just had to be okay.

Grampa was gone. He had actually died while driving home that day and the truck just veered slowly off the road, coming to a stop against the tree. Seeing him in the funeral home didn’t seem real at all. Only a few days ago, I had sat at the kitchen table with him and Granny in their house. We always visited in the kitchen at their house, except on special days like Christmas, when everyone gathered in the living room after dinner. He looked so different in a suit. My Grampa always wore bib overalls. And he called me his little boney. We loved each other a lot. It wasn’t fair that he was gone so suddenly.

In the fall, when school started back, I was in the seventh grade. This was turning out to be the worst year ever for me. I hated that seventh grade! Elementary school was grades K-6 and there were several in our end of the county. At that time the junior and senior high school was all at one school. So I went from a classroom of fifth and sixth graders combined to a seventh grade with five different home rooms. I didn’t know a single girl in my homeroom. Even “betchy her fanger ain’t hurt” would have been a welcome sight! I was so shy that I would barely speak to anyone. And the math homework was so hard! Every night I’d cry and beg Moma to let me quit school. She would totally ignore those pleas until I hushed. Then she’d say, “Get your books and I’ll help you finish your homework.”

Before Christmas break the high school Beta Club held a food drive to collect canned goods for needy families. Each grade competed to see who could bring the most food. Of course, I wanted – desperately wanted – to fit in. One boy in my homeroom was always making fun of someone. Little things that no one else would even think about became a big deal when he taunted. I knew if I didn’t take anything for the food drive, Sir Taunts a Lot would make fun of me too.

While we weren't exactly on starvation, times were pretty lean at our house. Daddy had been in the hospital a couple of times, and had been unable to work for quite a while. Still, Moma didn't hesitate when I asked for a can of food to take to school. I hadn’t told her about Sir Taunts a Lot – only about the food drive and competition. She just smiled, nodded and said, “Sure. Just get whatever you want to take out of the cabinet.”

I rummaged through the cupboard. In fact, I only had to open the door and I could see everything in there at one glance. Not much to choose from. Green beans, pork’n beans, corn, hominy. Hominy? Does anybody really eat that stuff? I wasn’t sure. But I was sure that Sir Taunts a Lot would make fun of me if I took a can of hominy. I wish he wasn’t in my homeroom. No, I wouldn’t take the hominy. I wouldn’t take the pork’n beans either – he’d probably make a joke about gas and embarrass me. I’d take green beans. How could he possibly make fun of green beans?

I don’t remember which class collected the most canned goods that year. I just know I was “like everyone else” and took something for the food drive. Thankfully, Sir Taunts a Lot didn’t make fun of me – not for the green beans anyway. What I do remember most about that Christmas happened during break – while we were out of school.

A Beta Club member from our church showed up at the house with a whole box of canned goods. Right in the center was a huge canned ham!  Something as simple as meat on the table sure made Christmas a lot merrier for us that year. Later, I thought about how the Bible says to give and you shall receive.[i]  I know we didn’t have much to give. Yet my mother was willing to give anyway. She had no idea that we would be one of the families receiving a Christmas box from that food drive.

Sometimes, hard times come upon honest, hard working people. We all wish better for our children than we have known. However, if the time ever comes that we need a hand, it's reassuring to know there are some people who still care enough to give. What an extra blessing it is to live in an area full of such caring people!

Today, I think that people in general are more receptive of the gospel at Christmas. We have so many more opportunities to be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves”[j] during the Christmas season. There are, of course, the obvious ways, like nativity scenes, “Happy Birthday Jesus” lights and Christmas plays. Then there are the other more subtle things – Linus reading from the second chapter of Luke on “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” Christmas hymns playing in the background and Christmas cards portraying the true meaning of Christmas. And always at Christmas time, the Salvation Army kettles can be seen somewhere, kindling a spirit of giving even in the hearts of unbelievers.

As the times are really tough financially for many families, it’s important not to let our economic situation deprive us of the joy we can share at Christmas and throughout the year. Several years ago, my mother, my children and I agreed that we do not need to spend a lot of money on Christmas gifts for each other. We agreed that it’s foolish to go in debt for Christmas giving. Especially since we all give to each other all year long anyway. We kept tapering off on our “obligatory” gift purchasing and focused instead on doing things together. Now we enjoy preparing special meals and spending time together, or just riding around to look at Christmas lights. Some years, when our schedules permit, we perform together in local Christmas plays. Sharing Christ with someone at Christmas is a perfect way to enjoy the true meaning of Christmas.

It’s so important that we not let the spirit of the world and all the commercialism rob us, not only of the true meaning of Christmas, but of every opportunity we may have to share the good news! Instead of wanting to be like everyone else, I pray that every one of us who knows Him will want to be more like Christ.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. [Romans 12:2]

Engrave these truths in our hearts, Lord, that the gifts You'd have us give, are not gold, frankincense or myrrh, but as You commanded, "Love one another, even as I have loved you."[k]

NOT HURTING ANYONE ELSE?

After reading the book of Ruth, a classmate made a statement that really jumped out at me: “God showed me that no matter who you are or where you come from, your faithfulness to Him can affect generations to come.” That fact is both delightful and disturbing. Delightful when I am faithful – disturbing when I am not! All too often we may be inclined to think, “Oh, I’m not hurting anyone except myself.” We never hurt only ourselves when we are not faithful to God.

My Dad has a saying, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go and keep you longer than you want to stay.” When I see sad, sad things happen – children abused, women beaten, drug addicts stealing from or killing their own families – I think of that saying. I don’t believe any child has ever said, “When I grow up I want to be a murderer.” Or a thief, or a drug addict. And I’m just as sure that no child has ever said, “When I grow up I want to be murdered.” It’s that evil within us – our fallen state – sin. Sin takes control of our lives if we do not willingly choose Jesus.

The most obvious example of future generations being affected by sin is Adam and Eve. The original sin, or first sin, is what caused us all to be sinners. Not so long ago, my Dad felt well enough to attend church with us. He gave a heartrending commentary about the fall of man. I wish I could relate it exactly as he said it. I know my version won’t be nearly as compelling.

He began by talking about how tempting that fruit must have been. Surely, just one bite wouldn’t hurt anything. But just look what that one bite caused. The first couple had to leave their perfect home. Adam had to toil for food. Maybe in the evenings, Adam and Eve would sit down together. Weary from the day’s work, they’d rest a bit while they ate supper. They might ask each other, “Why, oh why did we disobey? Why did we ever take that first bite? We had it made in the garden. Everything we needed was there.”

Then joy undoubtedly comes into their lives as they begin to have children. Their sons grow up and Cain murders Abel. Just imagine now how they mourn together, heartbroken. “Why, oh why did we disobey? This never would have happened if we hadn’t eaten that fruit.” Now they’ve lost both sons. Abel is dead and Cain is banished. Sin always takes you farther than you want to go. And it always keeps you longer than you want to stay.

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why do you look so resentful? If you do the right thing, won’t you be accepted? But if you don’t do the right thing, sin will be waiting at the door ready to strike! It will entice you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6-7, CEB)

SIGNS OF HIS LOVE

“Dat mean Jesus wuv me?” my son jabbed a pudgy finger against the car window, pointing to a heart shaped stone in the cemetery.

“Yes, son, Jesus loves you,” I replied, as I had done every day for the past few weeks. Not that his question annoyed me. Quite the contrary, it both amused and delighted me. Any opportunity to teach my children about our dear Savior is a welcome pleasure.

I’d barely even noticed the cemetery we passed on the way to the preschool. But my three year old son had spied the heart shaped stone that first day. Immediately he identified the marker as proof that Jesus loved him. It had become his quest to find it on the ride there and repeat his question.

Maybe he thinks Jesus Himself intentionally placed the stone there for him to see, I mused, smiling to myself. Maybe we should all have a monument in our daily paths to remind us that Jesus does indeed love us.

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by Whom we have now received the atonement. [Romans 5:5-11]

Over and over again in the Old Testament, we read how God commanded the children of Israel to establish monuments and festivals to honor Him or to remember some historical event in their relationship with Him. Many of the first altars were built as such memorials, to remind the builders of God’s grace or providence at a particular time in their lives. The Passover was established to commemorate God’s deliverance of the Israelites from Egyptian bondage. The Feast of Tabernacles reminded the Israelites that God had provided for them as they journeyed through the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land. In the lives of God’s people are continual reminders of His presence, of His providence, of His love, mercy and goodness.

We, just as the Israelites of Old Testament times, often become numb to these reminders. We plaster ourselves and cars with Christian t-shirts and fish emblems and bumper stickers. Most of the time we tear out in a frenzy to get from point A to point B without even acknowledging the One we’re supposed to represent with those symbols. We just don’t take time, as the old saying goes, to stop and smell the roses anymore.

Just the other day, after a huge Thanksgiving feast with my family, I groaned at the piles of dirty dishes. As I began to rinse plates and load up the dishwasher, I wondered why it seemed like such a chore. I remember countless times standing at the sink with my cousin washing dishes after our families had eaten Sunday dinner together. It hadn’t seemed like work at all. And our mothers certainly didn’t have dishwashing machines back then. We always had plenty of time afterwards to play. So why now, with all of our modern conveniences, is it more of a chore to me? Maybe it’s this microwave society we live in. We want everything now – no waiting. We’re always looking for a quick fix.

It is good if we can slow down in our study time and try to search out more of God’s word. One thing I like to do is underline the words which describe God or Jesus or which give hope and encouragement. Now I know that some people don’t think it’s proper to write in their Bibles. I completely respect that. I don’t write in their Bibles either! However when I read 1 Peter 5:10: But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you, in my Bible I underline some words. It ends up looking like this: But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. Then I can focus on the roses, not the thorns. I realize that it’s often for God’s purposes when I suffer. It’s for my own benefit and His glory. I’m privileged to be called by the God of all grace into His great plan. I can see beyond the “suffered a while” part.

So many times in life, we find only what we are looking for. If we are looking for the worst of everything, we’ll find the worst of everything. When I was a kid, I ran over a snake on my bicycle one day. Three times! Yes, I had circled that apple tree three times, running over that snake each time. I kept thinking it was a limb. Until the third time, when I realized it was a snake. I don’t think I’ve ever moved so fast in my entire life! I screamed, jumped off the bike and ran for the house. After that, I was terrified of snakes. I was always afraid I would walk up on a snake without seeing it before it bit me. My mother would often tell me that I needed to quit looking for snakes all the time. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t enjoy the beauty around me for fear. That’s what happens to us when we are always looking for problems or troubles. We only find problems and troubles.

Jesus said, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” [John 16:33]

SNAKE!

When Moma and I used to go to the woods and walk around,

I always kept my head bent, my eyes glued to the ground.

Moma would say, "If you keep looking," as she'd give her head a shake,

"If you keep looking, child, you’re sure to find a snake."

And, of course, as usual, my Moma — she was right.

Every twig, leaf and rock, would fill my heart with fright.

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, to see the squirrels dart in a tree,

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, where the rabbits crossed the creek,

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, before that hummingbird flew away,

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, when she said, "What a beautiful day!"

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, more than a moment at a time,

I'd go back to gather flowers where she said, "That's honeysuckle vine."

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, when she said, "There the blackberries are,"

I could pick enough for a cobbler and preserve even more in a jar.

If only I'd lifted up my eyes to see golden bright sunshine

Beam down through a canopy of leaves, and witness God's love divine.

If only I'd lifted up my eyes, I'd have seen what my Moma saw.

I'd have let the Lord up above replace fear with reverence and awe.

If only I'd lifted up my eyes.

October 13, 1995

DAVID AFTER GOD’S HEART

He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one." [1 Samuel 16:12]

Perhaps David’s youth reminded Samuel of a time long ago. Maybe he remembered how, as a young boy himself, God had called his own name in the still of the night. When his ministry as a prophet of Israel had begun, Samuel was still a child apprentice of Eli.[l] Now a grown man and Israel’s spiritual leader, Samuel had again obeyed the voice of the Lord. He had been directed to come here, to Jesse’s house to anoint the next king of Israel.[m]

Already Jesse’s seven older sons had passed before him. One by one, God had rejected them all. At first sight, Samuel presumed Eliab to be the Lord’s choice. However the Lord told Samuel to pay no heed to his looks or size, because God sees what man does not – the heart. Finally, Samuel asked Jesse if that was indeed all of his children. Jesse replied that his youngest son was out, keeping the sheep. It had seemed not to matter if young David were present. After all, he was just a lad. Let him tend the sheep while the men of the family attend to the spiritual matters. At Samuel’s insistence, David was brought in. God’s choice was clear. Samuel anointed David and the Spirit of the Lord came upon him from that day forward.

As is so often the case, man’s last resort is God’s first choice. If only we were “after God’s own heart” as David was. We always think of the expression in the sense that David fulfilled the desires of God’s heart. And, while I do not dispute that interpretation, I hope to illustrate that David was after God’s heart in another sense. More than anything, David desired God’s heart to be pleased with him. David knew God loved him; but he wanted God to like him as well. In pursuit of God’s heart, David diligently sought out God’s approval. He learned God’s word and waited for God’s direction in his life. And when he sinned, he mourned with Godly sorrow as he sought the forgiveness of God. As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. [Psalm 42:1] If not written by David himself, this psalm certainly seems to express his attitude.

In the 17th chapter of 1 Samuel, Saul sends for David to come play the harp to help “soothe” his nerves. We see that David is once again tending the sheep. Here is a young man who has already been anointed to become the next king of Israel, patiently tending his father’s sheep![n] It seems evident that David realized he would be king in God’s time and on God’s terms. In the meantime, he would continue in his daily responsibilities. David’s attitude toward God and his patience in waiting for God’s plan to unfold demonstrates his recognition of God’s omniscience. “The disposition of his heart was to give faithful service to the Lord . . .”[o] David demonstrates a heart of humble obedience, a characteristic later perfected by Jesus Christ, his descendant according to lineage.[p]

All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands. [1 Samuel 17:47]

Just a little further into the chapter, we get another glimpse at David’s heart. When he delivers provisions to his brothers in Saul’s army, David hears the giant Goliath mocking Israel. Filled with righteous indignation at “this uncircumcised Philistine” who defies the armies of the living God, David vows to defeat him. When Saul is hesitant, David assures him with a testimony of God’s delivering power. “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” [1 Samuel 17:37] It is abundantly clear that David knows his God well enough to count on Him completely. F-A-I-T-H: Full Assurance In The Heavenly Father. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is not possible to please God without faith: And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. David’s faith was not in his own abilities, but in the God Who had proven Himself true time and time again.[q]

Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." [2 Samuel 12:13]

Even though the mention of David often brings to mind his sins, we also see two reactions I feel are extremely important to God. First, David does not blame anyone else for his actions. When confronted by Nathan about his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah, David cries out, “I have sinned!” He does not react as Saul did, with excuses (to Samuel: you were late so I made the sacrifice myself;[r] the people kept the best of the animals for sacrifice, but please honor me anyway in front of the elders[s]). I cannot think of a more appropriate description than what Karisa Schlehr says in a blog post on the Ligonier Ministries website:

“David was not a perfect man by any means. When he sinned, he sinned in a big way but we must not think of his story as one man's isolated sin. It is the story of every man and the complex behavior that surrounds our sinful actions. When David compromises the gospel, he shows the deepest struggle of every man to live by the Word of God.”[t]

That deepest struggle is the second reaction I think is so important. David exemplifies a broken heart and contrite spirit in his attitude toward his own sins. Schler also quotes R.C. Sproul from his book, A Man After God’s Own Heart:

"In the Psalms, we see the heart of a penitent unveiled and in that I think we see most clearly the greatness of David the Great. If you read Psalm 51 and read it carefully and thoughtfully, that Psalm will reveal more than anything else in the history of David why David was called a man after God's own heart. Because here it reveals the broken heart of a sinful man who sees his sin clearly."

Just as David saw his own sin clearly, he also understood the spirit of God. He understood that God is always just. Whatever discipline or mercy we receive is God’s choice to hand out.[u] He realized that he himself was just a man and that God is God. After David became king and the palace was built, it bothered David to have a finer dwelling place than the Almighty God. After the king was settled in his palace and the LORD had given him rest from all his enemies around him, he said to Nathan the prophet, "Here I am, living in a palace of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent." [2 Samuel 7:1-2] The Lord sent Nathan back with an answer. While David would not be the one to build the temple, God would establish a “house” for David. He would raise up David’s offspring to establish an everlasting kingdom.

Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: “Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far? And yet this was a small thing in Your sight, O Lord God; and You have also spoken of Your servant’s house for a great while to come. Is this the manner of man, O Lord God? Now what more can David say to You? For You, Lord God, know Your servant. For Your word’s sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all these great things, to make Your servant know them. Therefore You are great, O Lord God. For there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears." [2 Samuel 7:18-22, NKJV]

David’s obvious amazement at God’s promises proves his humility. He understands that it is because of God’s goodness, not his own that this promise has been made. In all the ages of his life, David is a man after God’s own heart.

THE UNOPENED GIFT

When I was a child, we always went to Granny’s house for Christmas. Before her family outgrew her means, Granny made sure there was a gift for everyone who came to her house on Christmas. Now, she loved a good bargain and didn’t wait until the last minute or even the day after Thanksgiving to shop for gifts. All year round, Granny was busy buying and wrapping presents. She kept them in a spare bedroom. We kids sure didn’t go in there snooping around before Christmas. No siree! After Christmas dinner, everyone got to open their gifts. If you weren’t there, your gift went back to the spare room and you’d get it the next time you came to Granny’s house.

One year, Granny’s brother didn’t make it for Christmas. So his gift went back to the room. Several months later, his gift was still sitting on the bed in the spare room. By now, Granny was already shopping for the next Christmas. No one else could open that gift. It was only for her brother. He’d get it when he visited – even if it was the Fourth of July!

Isn’t it wonderful that God didn’t wait until the last minute either? He sent the original Christmas Gift – Jesus – before we were ever born. We all have the gift of salvation already purchased for us. But I can’t open your gift and you can’t open mine. We must each be given our gift in person. And it’s there waiting until we go to Him to receive it. Sadly, we can wait TOO long to accept the most important Gift. Jesus has billions of unopened Gifts . . .

Have you opened your heart to receive your best Gift ever? If not, won’t you accept Him this year? You don’t have to go to Granny’s house, or even the Church House to get it. If you believe in your heart that Jesus died to pay your sin debt, ask Him to forgive you and make you one of His own.

It will be the BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT you’ve ever received.

I promise.

END NOTES

[a] Luke 2:10

[b] Luke 2:11

[c] Luke 2:12

[d] Luke 2:14

[e] John 4:9

[f] John 4:23

[g] John 5:16

[h] Ruth 2:16

[i] Luke 6:38

[j] Matthew 10:16

[k] John 15:12

[l] 1 Samuel 3:1-21

[m] 1 Samuel 16:1-4

[n] Martin, Dave. "David - A Man After God's Own Heart." David, Seeking God's Heart Sermon Series (2003). 4 Nov 2009, p 6.

[o] "A Man After God's Own Heart." Looking Unto Jesus 8.10 (2004). 16 Nov 2009. www.lookinguntojesus.net/20040307.htm.

[p] Copeland, Mark. "Sermons From the Old Testament - A Man After God’s Own Heart." Executable Outlines (2009). 4 Nov 2009. www.ccel.org/contrib/exec_outlines/text/1sa13_13.htm.

[q] Bratt, Bill. "Why was David a Man after God's Own Heart?." Independent Church of God Newsletter. 16 Nov 2009. www.zoomnet.net/~bbratt/davidman.html.

[r] 1 Samuel 13:8-14

[s] 1 Samuel 15:15, 21-30

[t] Schlehr, Karisa. "A Man After God's Own Heart." Ligonier Ministries Blog (2008). 16 Nov 2009. www.ligonier.org/blog/2008/11/a-man-after-gods-own-heart.html.

[u] Schlehr, Karisa. "A Man After God's Own Heart." Ligonier Ministries Blog (2008). 16 Nov 2009. www.ligonier.org/blog/2008/11/a-man-after-gods-own-heart.html.

Table of Contents

Copyright

DEDICATION

Epigraph

Over The Hill

Finding Bread

To Save, Not To Condemn

Growing Seasons

Not Hurting Anyone Else?

Signs Of His Love

David After God’s Heart

The Unopened Gift

End Notes