“Best ‘spirit-experience’ read ever!” – Nicolette van den Heever

“A very inspirational book – I read it the same day I received it.” – Abe Wiese

“Thank you for this awesome book. Once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down.” – Suzanne Erasmus

“Great read …may YHVH our Elohim do His mighty works through this testimony. May it touch the hearts of every soul that reads it.” – SA Love Israel

FOREWORD BY ANGUS BUCHAN, AUTHOR OF FAITH LIKE POTATOES

ALL IN A SEASON

A SKEPTIC’S JOURNEY

DAWID J. MALHERBE

Copyright for ALL IN A SEASON belongs to:

Dawid J Malherbe

PO Box 162

Franschhoek, 7690

Republic of South Africa

Contact: info@crestamarketing.com

BERNE CONVENTION FOR THE PROTECTION OF LITERARY AND ARTISTIC WORKS (Paris Text 1971)

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the copyright holder.

All Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version (NKJV), unless otherwise indicated. Please note that the author capitalizes certain pronouns in Scripture that refer to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that may differ from the NKJV. The author chooses not to capitalize the name satan and related names.

First published February 2009 by New Voices Publishing

2nd Edition published September 2009

Reprint April 2010

Reprint August 2010

Reprint July 2011

Reprint July 2012

www.newvoices.co.za

ISBN: 978-1-920094-65-2

Dedicated to Jeanne-Marié and Stephanie Malherbe

You are my pride and joy. I am blessed and privileged to be given the opportunity by our Great I AM to guide, teach, and protect you! You are my beloved daughters, in you I am well pleased!

Author’s Note

Although I used the names God, LORD, Father, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit as used in the NKJV Bible and found in the majority of religious writings, I believe that the names (without trying to be controversial) should also be seen and interpreted in their original Hebraic and Aramaic root context - Elohim (God), YHWH (the LORD), Abba (Father), Y’shua HaMashiach (Jesus Christ) and Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit). Why? A Spirit-lead quest to ‘fathom’ the spiritual and historical meaning of the names will result in a real reverence and respect for Their names. This furthermore shall lead us into a deeper understanding and knowledge of God. God is the God of the Scriptures – Old and New Testament, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob; the great I AM, as revealed to Moses, David, His prophets; and as revealed to us, the New Covenant believers, by Y’shua HaMashiach, Ruach HaKodesh, Apostles and latter day saints. In Isaiah 52:6 (The Scriptures) it is written: “Therefore My people shall know My name, in that day, for I am the One who is speaking. See, it is I.”

For the purpose of clarity –

·        I used the title ‘LORD’ in Scripture quotations and in the text, but as my ‘season’ unfolded, I felt more and more convinced that the LORD’s real name, YHWH (pronounced YAH-u-vah or YAH-veh) should be used;

·        In this book, the name of the Father (or Abba) is positively associated with YHWH Elohim (LORD God) and should be read within this context; and

·        I am by no means an expert on the Hebrew language, culture, laws or festivals; however, I sincerely believe that it is important to appreciate and embrace their spiritual and symbolic significance. This knowledge will enrich our walk with God – as Solomon wrote in Proverbs 9:10 (The Scriptures): “The fear of YHWH is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

“for the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of YHWH as the waters cover the sea. And in that day there shall be a Root of Yishai, standing as a banner to the people. Unto Him the gentiles shall seek, and His rest shall be esteem (glorious).”

Yeshayahu 11:9b, 10 (The Scriptures)

Acknowledgements

I WAITED patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth -- Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:1-3

During this spiritual season I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I can unashamedly boast about is God’s grace! Now I understand, like Paul, who told the Ephesians (2:8): “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.” Thank you ABBA, Y’shua and Holy Spirit for gracing me with this season!

Thanks to the Blue Letter Bible! Most of the NKJV scriptures used in this book, I have obtained from your reliable source on www.blueletterbible.org.

A special thanks to Christine Siebrits and Jenny Terwin who assisted with the editing of the manuscript. Your input and contribution were priceless!

The cover illustration is a painting by Marius Prinsloo (www. mais.co.za) of the Du Toit’s Kop Mountain in Franschhoek and was done on commission for me. Thank you Marius!

I have to give special mention to five authors whose words, books and testimonies have played an important role in my spiritual awakening: David Yonggi Cho, Max Lucado, Mahesh Chavda, Jane Hamon, and Watchman Nee.

The following family, friends and colleagues have all contributed, through their words of encouragement, prayers and friendship to this journey – during my illness and pre and post writing ALL IN A SEASON. And as King David has written in Psalm 16:3: “You are the saints who are on the earth; you are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”

Thank you: Angus Buchan, a spiritual father to many, thank you for leading me back to my First Love! Theuns Cilliers; Claudius Claassen; Rika Louw; Robin Pinard; Betsie Siebrits; Stienie and Johan Smith; Annie and Jonathan Selibowits; Franschhoek Dutch Reformed Church congregation and community; Karen Minnaar; Hans Combrink; Blackie and Yvonne Kempen; Hennie Swart; Anton and Lyn Roux; Jan Lötter; Christo Nel; Madeleine Vermeulen; Riaan Bredell; Cornelia Bester; Anna-Marié de Villiers; Lindi Scholtz; Christelle Woudberg; Dieter Voigt; Anneke van Breda; Stephan van Niekerk, Leyland and Spring Valentine; my mother, Marita Malherbe; my two daughters, Jeanne-Marié and Stephanie Malherbe; and Petra Malherbe, my best friend and wife.

Table of Contents

Author’s Note

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Prologue

Part I:  Summer - Renewing My Faith

Chapter One:  Farmer versus Farmer

Chapter Two:  Is that Really You God?

Chapter Three:   Fulfill All Righteousness

Part II:  Autumn - I Want Your Heart

Chapter Four:  Hidden Valley

Chapter Five:  Green Cathedral

Chapter Six:  Holy Spirit

Part III:  Winter - Cancer

Chapter Seven:  Papillary Carcinoma

Chapter Eight:  Thyroidectomy

Chapter Nine:  Radiation

Part IV:  Spring – King of Glory

Chapter Ten:  Awakening

Chapter Eleven:  Seven I AM Names

Chapter Twelve:  New Covenant

Epilogue

Flame of God’s Glory

Prayer for Revelation and Protection of the Saints

Foreword

Having just read the script of Dawie’s book ‘All in a Season’, I really want to recommend it.

What excites me more than anything about this book, is that here is a man who has met the Lord Jesus Christ in a very real and special way. I just think of the cry of the Apostle Paul’s heart who said in Philippians 3:10 ‘that I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death.’

That is exactly what has happened to Dawie. He has known the power of the resurrection of Christ – new life in Christ. He has also experienced the sufferings that this life leaves no man exempt from. Thirdly and most importantly, I can see in this man’s life that he has died to self and Christ is now very much alive in Him.

I trust and pray that this book will encourage many other Christians to know Him in a very real way.

Angus Buchan

Shalom Ministries

Author of Faith like Potatoes

www.shalomtrust.co.za

www.faithlikepotatoes.com

Prologue

Behold, I send the Promise of My Father upon you.

Luke 24:49a

I heard the still small voice of the Holy Spirit on 7 August 2006: “You must write about your experiences of the past season and the book must be completed before you enter the new season.” The instruction was plain and simple, yet filled with urgency, “write My words on the table of your heart and do not deviate from it”.

I have seen the dawning of a new season that, symbolically, coincides with the unfolding of the new spring season in the Southern Hemisphere, now clearly visible and a feast for all our senses - especially in the Boland where I live. Here are four distinct seasons ... summer, autumn, winter, and spring. ALL IN A SEASON is a collective account of a specific season in my life. This analogy of the spiritual season can also be tangibly linked with the four earthly seasons I have experienced over this past year.

At first glance, this book may look like my life story, but it is truly a story about God, our great ‘I AM’ and my quest to discover the new song He has put in my mouth. Through this story I hope to prove to the skeptics (the Thomas’s of the world), of which I was one, that God IS and that He has a wonderfully constructed plan, a new song, for each one of us, and that He wishes to share and reveal this to us through the Holy Spirit.

But God has revealed them (which, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, or have entered into the heart of man – my addition) to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.

1 Corinthians 2:9, 10

I can only proclaim that all the glory belongs to God, for I am but a lowly and simple vessel for His glory! The LORD of Hosts, the King of Glory, has graced me with the opportunity, as an impure instrument, to receive glimpses of His perfect will for my life. I felt like a woodworking tool in the Carpenter’s shop in Nazareth that was dusted off, prepared, and used by Him for a specific purpose. I know God has prepared and called me to share this message with you! I am just a typical ‘farm boy’ from a small town with an imperfect command of English (my beloved language is Afrikaans), but He has prepared and refined me for a specific reason and season. The story will unfold in the following chapters.

However, for us to become aware of His plan for our life, we must be obedient to Him. We must become holy – set apart, to allow the Carpenter to use us (as His instruments) as He deems fit. God instructed us in Leviticus 11:44 to be holy: “For I am the LORD your God. You shall therefore consecrate yourselves, and you shall be holy; for I am holy.”

My sincere prayer is that, in seasons to come, I will never again take my eyes off God. Never to rely on my own strength again, but to let the Promise of the Promise Giver, the Holy Spirit, show me the way. May this story inspire you to embrace God’s Holy Spirit in your life - as in the words of Jesus Christ:

But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such worship to Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.

John 4:23, 24

Dawid J. Malherbe

Franschhoek

Spring of 2006

Part I:

Summer - Renewing My Faith

Early Summer: Farmer versus Farmer

Mid-Summer: Is that Really You God?

Late Summer: Fulfill All Righteousness

“Now, therefore,” says the LORD, “Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm.

Joel 2:12, 13

Chapter One:

Farmer versus Farmer

Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

John 17:17

I didn’t know what to expect

Something in my mind just kept on telling me that Petra and I must attend the breakfast meeting held at the small Shofar church in Franschhoek on Saturday, 17 September 2005.

My mother was looking after our two precious angels at home, Jeanne-Marié and Stephanie. Apparently, the guest speaker was some godly farmer from Natal who is able to hear the voice of God! Now, that intrigued me. I grew up on a typical Boland farm – wine grapes, peaches, plums, pears, etc., and am once again, albeit on a part- time basis, involved with farming. But a farmer with the ability to hear the voice of God, never heard about one before! Yes, many God-fearing, friendly farmers I have met. However, my mind also conjures up thoughts and images of a stubborn, solitary, tough, never say die, and frustrated group of skeptics. Put them together at a braai (traditional South African barbecue) or a co-operative farmers’ meeting, add a little brandy to the mix, and you get a nice noisy boisterous blend of manne (men) never short of quirks, sharp wit, and running commentary on almost any topic under the sun.

Man, was I in for a surprise!

For some time I have been keeping a small flame of hope alive, a yearning to hear the voice of God. I have been searching for many years, in various sources and on different continents for God’s voice and to discover His will for my life, but to no avail. Yes, I do remember the time back in 1980 when a godly woman gave me a piece of Scripture to console me after my dad’s suicide. Yes, I remember the time during the Angolan Bush War in 1981 when an invisible ‘navigator’ helped me, in almost unnavigable terrain, find the campsite or waiting platoon after having to do reconnaissance trips during the night or daytime. Yes, I remember the times when working and travelling in the UK, Europe  and Middle East in 1989 - witnessing an empty tomb during Passover with a peaceful and emotional gratitude in a Jerusalem garden; and as a recipient of ‘small miracles’ that kept me alive when I was without money and food. Yes, I remember God’s promise to me in Proverbs 27:27 on 20 May 1989 on the island of Kos in the Greek Aegean Sea, that He shall provide enough goats’ milk for me and my family. Yes, I remember God’s approval of my decision to call a farewell to education in 2002 and the accompanied ‘new song’ promise in Psalm 40. However, so many things have happened in my life lately that I have started to doubt God’s earlier promises to me. Shattered dreams, broken promises, and dry and barren seasons all toyed with my faith.

The gathering that morning was only a small one and most of the people I had never seen or met before. Upon our arrival, I spoke with a gentleman that was a few years older than me. He had kind eyes and an almost shy and boyish look that, having introduced himself as Angus, also mentioned that he was a farmer. But in my mind I had a picture of a young upwardly mobile 30-something ‘Buchannan’ farmer who had flown in from the Natal Midlands. As I had not seen ‘him’ yet, I hoped that he would arrive in time to deliver his message from God. The order of the proceedings was, first a hearty farmer’s breakfast, followed by the heavenly farmer’s long anticipated message. Great was my surprise when the farmer I met in the foyer was introduced as Angus ‘Buchan’ and called to the podium! Before starting to speak, he knelt down and softly prayed: “LORD may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. Amen.”[1]

The soft spoken and almost reserved person I had met about 30 minutes earlier was transformed right in front of my eyes into a passionate, fearless, dynamic and unashamed proclaimer of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He brought a simple, yet powerful message, a message of hope, courage, adventure, purpose and salvation. He spoke with such authority and conviction that I fully believed him when he said that Jesus Christ was more real to him than us sitting in front of him. He spoke of his green cathedral (corn/maize fields) back on his beloved farm in Greytown, where he wanders to and fro to hear God’s voice.  He fondly calls his Bible his agricultural manual and source of all information required to equip us for life. He quoted, verbatim, Scripture after Scripture.

He also mentioned that the Word of God, Old and New Testament, should be seen as ‘Jesus-in-Print’! He gave a powerful message under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, but in particular the above-mentioned pierced and filled my heart.

Go and tell

After his sermon he invited those who would like to make a public commitment and accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior to stand up. I knew that I had accepted Christ Jesus as my Savior on quite a few occasions in the past, dates flashed through my mind – 1976, 1982, 1985, but a public commitment? I couldn’t remember any public declaration of my faith apart from our class’s confirmation ceremony during our final year of Catechism in 1980 in Franschhoek’s historic Dutch Reformed Church. I was unsure if that counted! I remember my parents bought me a beautiful tailored dark blue suit and a pair of Salvatores Italian shoes for the occasion (and to this day, I still wear these shoes on special occasions – one of those events was my wedding in 1995!). My friends were present, and the congregation of this small town also attended the ceremony; all with the promise of a smorgasbord of nice snacks after the assembly. And the peer pressure was immense.

Now, sitting together with my wife, Angus’s call came for a second time: “Who would like to make a public confession of your faith in Jesus Christ?” It felt as if the chair I was sitting on was starting to burn a hole in my pants. I had to stand up, clutching my wife’s hand. “Bless you, brother” I heard Angus’s voice filled with joy and compassion. There were three or four of us renewing and (some for the first time) declaring our faith in Jesus Christ by reciting the sinner’s prayer[2] - the prayer of faith, led by Angus. He challenged us to tell the first three people we came into contact with that we had made a public confession to follow Jesus Christ as our Master and Savior.

After the meeting I took Petra and introduced her to Angus and there, for the first time in my life, to my knowledge, someone spoke a prophetic word over my life and Petra’s. He also blessed us with the Scripture from the Gospel of John, “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.”[3]

My immediate mission and concern was to tell the first three people about my decision to follow Christ. It was a beautiful spring day that Saturday, and the first three (on this special occasion there were actually four, excluding my family!) people I saw were Fred, a longtime acquaintance working twice monthly in our garden, his stepdaughter Gina, Faan, Fred’s help for the day, and our domestic house angel, Mariken. I also called my family as witnesses to my testimony. There I was able to (for the first time in my life) share my newfound love for Jesus Christ. I also found the courage to bless each one of them with words of encouragement and appreciation for their work done for our family and the important role they play to make our life easier and more tolerable. I cried unashamedly.

I have met Angus a few times since that meeting. His book, Faith  Like  Potatoes  and  daily  devotional, A Farmer’s Journal, which I bought at the breakfast meeting, have had a profound impact and bearing on the dawning of my new season in Christ Jesus.

Power Verse

That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 10:9

Reflection & Meditation

1.         What is the sinner’s prayer and can one be saved by simply reciting this prayer? Motivate your answer.

2.         Why is it so important to confess Jesus Christ before men? Read Matthew 10:32

3.         John Wesley said that it is not possible to receive Him (Jesus Christ) and not know it (John 14:20). When did you receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and made your public confession to follow Him?

4.         What should I do to be sure that I am saved? Read Footnote 2

Note: Use a journal to keep account of answers, promises, revelations and Scripture that touch your heart. This journal will be a compass to chart your spiritual journey – evidence and a reminder of your walk with God.

Chapter Two:

Is that Really You God?

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Matthew 5:8

My strength is made perfect in weakness

A few times in the past, I have received Scripture that helped me to ‘understand’ God’s plan for my life. However, I must admit that it was actually more a case of finding my plan for God in my life! Or to put it differently, finding an ‘Isaac’ solution with an ‘Ishmael’ strategy!

It took me 44 years to finally come to the wonderful awareness that God should never be used by us as a ‘crutch’ to achieve our objectives! In the past my family and I have made a few decisions that were based on the Word of God and with the full understanding of Philippians 4:6, 7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus,” I felt that could be seen as worldly successful, godly or blessed. Some of these good decisions include, of course, my wife Petra, our move to Franschhoek, and a few other investment decisions that paid off.

But today, I know differently. God, through His grace, only granted me the opportunity to make these few good decisions (not God decisions!). My worldly track record also, unfortunately, contrary to the few successes, includes poor, selfish and opinionated decisions. Now I realize that after we commit our life to God, a different set of rules – different to those that apply to people living in the world, comes into play.

God’s rules are actually paradoxical to those the world has taught us! The world teaches us through the lie of self-help psychology that we can achieve the impossible by positive thinking, believing in, and relying on our own capabilities and strengths. In my ‘previous life’, I ate aplenty of the ‘tree of the knowledge of good and evil’ and consumed books on positive and possibility thinking, but after 17 September 2005 I fell in love with the Bible and re-discovered the Word of God, the Source of all and all, as my true and only ‘self-help’ Guide![4]

Contrary to the world’s advice, God’s advice for success is that one should deny and die to self. John Eldredge wrote that “until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own.”[5] John said that such a human being is ‘shallow and unsubstantial’, thinking that there is no need for God.

The Bible instructs us “not to lean on our own under- standing”, an almost incomprehensible and most difficult lesson to learn and implement for a goal driven individual, such as myself. In his wonderful book, The Latent Power of the Soul, Watchman Nee wrote: “Each time we work for God, we need to first deal with ourselves, setting ourselves aside. We should lay down our talents and our strong points. We should ask God to bind these things. We should say to Him: ‘O God, I want You to work, I do not want to depend on my talent and my power. I ask You Yourself to do the work, for by myself I can do nothing.’ If a believer does not set aside his own soul life, the Spirit (my emphasis) will never be able to work and so profit other people. By using their own wisdom, method, strength, or natural ability, believers block the manifestation of God’s power.”[6]

The apostle Paul made the same point when he wrote to the Corinthians: “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”[7]

The road we walk with God is the long road to freedom and salvation, but it takes us more often through the valley of affliction in order to bring us to a point in our lives where we no longer wish to rely on oneself, where we need His input, His guidance, His advice for our life ... at all cost, even if our actions are ridiculed by the world.

A quiet whisper in my heart

Many times, after recommitting my life to Jesus Christ on 17 September 2005, I have gone up to the mountains. Franschhoek is surrounded by layer upon layer of beautiful rugged and high mountains and valleys. Here the fish eagle still soars freely, the leopard and baboon, perpetual enemies, try to outwit each other, a few antelope species run around without restraint on the higher slopes, and many streams and waterfalls erupt, every winter and spring, with a thunderous chorus proclaiming our Creator’s glory.

In summer, the hostile sun dries up the mountain springs and only the hardiest vegetation survives. However, the Cape fynbos[8] and certain aloe species abound in these conditions. The Mont Rochelle Mountain Reserve forms a large part of the Franschhoek mountains and in the reserve there is a beautiful small hill, almost invisible and unknown to most locals, named Aalwyn Koppie (meaning Aloe Hill). On it a high concentration and a variety of aloe species grow, hence the name. The aloe plant, known for ages by the land’s original inhabitants, contains within its leaves a bitter sap that has healing, soothing and cleansing properties. Aalwyn Koppie has become my green cathedral since early December 2005. It was there, for the first time, that I became aware of God’s healing, soothing, and cleansing voice.

I was meditating and praying on three hollow requests at the time: Our possible move to Canada; the road ahead for my consulting firm, Cresta Marketing; and the selling of our family’s smallish wine-farm on the Olifants River (Elephants River). However, on that early summer morning on Aalwyn Koppie in the majestic Franschhoek Mountains, an occurrence was about to happen that altered the course of my spiritual season.

I was reflecting on the Scripture I received that morning on the koppie from 2 Corinthians 9:6-11: “But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. As it is written: ‘He has dispersed abroad, He has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever.’ Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.” Still an infant (in the faith) then, I felt confident that God was giving me the assurance that He would materially bless me and my family as long as we also share a part of our promised bounty with the needy and poor!

The Scripture I received seemed like a nice promise and I must admit that, on that occasion, it would not have been too difficult for me to share some of the excesses with the needy and poor!

I was on my way back from the koppie to my vehicle, when I heard a ‘voice’ in my heart – my inner man: “Dawie, if I give you everything that you have asked for, will you be prepared to give Me everything I ask you for?”[9]

I got the fright of my life. Not for hearing God’s non- threatening and gentle voice, but for the full implication of His counter question. I wasn’t prepared for that!

I hesitantly replied: “Yes LORD, but, but ... please do not let Your ‘give Me everything I ask you for’ include my family, you know that I love them so much.” Remembering what happened to Job’s family! At that very instant the ‘voice’ departed and I was left feeling empty, maybe like Peter must have felt on various occasions when he disappointed the Lord Jesus Christ. When I realized that I was not yet prepared to give God everything (He may ask me for), I started to weep.[10]

It was only much later in my spiritual season, when God’s voice frequented me on a more regular basis that I began to understand that, in order to hear His voice more regularly, one’s genuine focus should  be on the latter part of the scriptural promise, not on the first part of the promise in 2 Corinthians 9. In Matthew 6:33 Christ Jesus states it so clearly: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” In the Gospel of John, our Lord Jesus Christ gave us an indication of what He meant by establishing the kingdom, “... love one another as I have loved you.”[11] However, although I always ‘understood’ this commandment, I was not ready to live it.

Robin, we’ve got a problem

After arriving back home, and being a skeptic and fully aware that one can have quite a good discourse with the alter ego, I phoned a friend and spiritual mentor, Robin Pinard,[12] about this dialogue I had with the ‘voice’. When I told him what had happened on the mountain, he said that I must never doubt the fact that it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. At that time Robin had been praying for (and with) me for quite some time to receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit, but since my mind was such a stronghold and my heart still very hardened, it inhibited and prevented me from really hearing God’s voice, and from surrendering my heart to the LORD’s will for my life.

I was still asking God for His blessings for my plans, instead of asking Him what His plans were for my life, so that my life could be a blessing to Him. Not realizing yet that I was using God as a crutch for my ‘dry bones’ and plans! But the essence of this truth only dawned on me much later in the season and only after receiving the fullness of God’s Promise.

What I did realize on that specific day was the fact that there were quite a number of obstacles preventing me from hearing God’s voice. But ABBA Father[13] knew that His son was struggling and that there was a sincerity in this son’s heart to discover the earlier promise He made to him: “I have put a new song in your mouth, many will see it and fear, and will trust in Me.”[14]

A seed was planted

Sitting opposite us at that breakfast meeting on 17 September 2005 was a young couple from Cape Town (Table View), who also came to listen and meet Angus Buchan. Apparently they knew who he was and were inspired by what he had achieved on his farm, Shalom. They believed that the LORD was calling them to Malawi in central Africa to do something similar to what Angus had been doing on the Shalom farm.[15]

After the service, and witnessing my re-dedication to follow Christ (by now knowing that I was a member of the Dutch Reformed Church where members are baptized as infants, and by the sprinkling of water), they asked me if I was going to be baptized. “Why? No”, I protested, “I am now, after today, sure about my salvation and, you know, I was baptized as a baby so to be baptized again is unnecessary, actually, the church doesn’t allow for this to happen.”

And as an afterthought trying to defend my brash and ill- considered observation, I fumbled and got them thinking with  “did  you  know  that  Jesus  himself  never  baptized anyone?” - as if that had any bearing on our discussion![16]

Power Verse

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5, 6

Reflection & Meditation

1.    What is the difference between a ‘good’ decision and a ‘God’ decision?

2.    Is the advice, ‘not to lean on your own understanding’, sensible and practical for living in the ‘real’ world?

3.    What (obstacles) can prevent you from hearing God’s voice?

4.    Why is it so important not to rely on your own strength when you are doing the LORD’s work?

5.    Angus Buchan often refers to the Bible as ‘Jesus- in-print’ or his ‘agricultural manual’. Brother Yun (author of The Heavenly Man, 2002, Monarch Books, Oxford, p.27) calls it the ‘heavenly book’. These names add to the ‘tangible and wholesome’ character of the Word of God, making it even more real, practical and relevant. How ‘real, practical and relevant’ is the Word of God to you?

Chapter Three:

Fulfill All Righteousness

Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, “See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?” Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him.

Acts 8:36-38

Journal of a pilgrim

On a number of occasions Robin Pinard suggested that I must get a journal in which I can write down my thoughts and words of God’s promises relating to my life. Robin had been down this road, I am discovering now, a long time before. Obedient to his suggestion, I finally bought a leather bound Christian Journal and my first entry was on 25 January 2006, Psalm 23, which I know by heart in my beloved mother tongue, Afrikaans:

The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

In the journal, on that day, I gave a brief account of happenings since 17 September 2005 and of the important spiritual lessons I learned in past seasons. I also noted down, in specific detail, the second time I heard God’s voice on the evening of 18 January 2006.

I was visiting the family’s wine-farm[17] to attend the annual meeting of the co-operative wine cellar (of which we were members). The farm is near the sleepy railway town of Klawer, a gateway to the Namaqualand,[18] 280 km (175 miles) from Franschhoek.

It is an approximate three hour drive by car, and since I was alone on most of my farm visits, I used the time while driving, to plan, dream and listen to music. That specific day, I spent in prayer and in expectation that the LORD would, yet again, give me some guidance on His purpose (the new song in my mouth) for my life. Again I asked God for guidance relating to my previous Aalwyn Koppie petition. But the day and the cellar meeting passed, without me hearing God’s voice. I was tired after a long day and left the traditional ‘after cellar meeting braai’ at 10:30 pm, disappointed about not hearing His voice. While driving back to the farm I was struggling with the LORD, telling Him that I was so sure, deep in my heart, that I would hear His guidance for my life. After arriving at the small cottage on the De Kom farm, I got ready for bed. I put my Afrikaans Bible on a chair next to the bed, and before climbing in, I told myself that I would not go to sleep before I heard God’s voice. I was preparing myself for a long night.

Sitting upright in bed, I was in the process of making myself comfortable, by putting a pillow behind my back, and even before really settling in, I heard a soft voice, in my inner man, this time in English: “Read Joel”. The instruction came so quickly and clearly, remember, I was expecting a long wait, with a cup of hot milk in my hand and the Bible at my side! I said with a sense of humor, “wow LORD, this was unexpectedly soon” and to test the authenticity of the voice, I asked again, “LORD, what chapter of Joel?”, knowing that some of the Old Testament books can be quite long. “All of the chapters,” I heard the voice again. Now, if you had asked me at that point in time to name at least 20 books of the Bible, Joel wouldn’t have been one. I had to look in my Bible’s index to locate Joel. Imagine how relieved I was to discover that the book consists of only three chapters! Our LORD is so kind and knows exactly how to deal with each one of his children!

I started to read, and there the Holy Spirit opened up the Scripture to me. In Joel, God gave me the recipe I needed to follow in order to discover His will for my life and to receive the fullness of His blessings, which He had prepared for me (us) – even before the foundation of the earth.

Our precious Heavenly Father, infinite in His wisdom, giving me in no uncertain terms a glimpse of the promise reserved for me. The  promise, so graphically relevant to my situation, a part-time wine grape farmer, receiving the promise while also being physically present on the farm, “I will send you grain and new wine and  (olive) oil, and you will be satisfied by them”,[19] the promise and message deeply touched my heart. But, there was a caveat! However, this time I was ready to do whatever God was asking me to do. This time, with this wonderful promise in mind and knowing that I had disappointed Him too many times before, I read in Joel 2: 12, 13 and His instructions about what I must do in order to receive His promised blessing for my life, became clear: “‘Now, therefore,’ says the LORD, ‘Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.’ So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm.”

I made a further discovery; at the end of Joel chapter two, the LORD was also giving me (us) a new promise. This promise will be bestowed on me only after I have returned to the LORD our God with all my heart, and only after I have received, in faith, His ‘grain, new wine and oil’ promises. I didn’t understand the fullness and consequence of this promise at that point in time, however, the promise was very comforting to me: “And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.”[20] Acting on His instructions in Joel 2:12 and 13, for three days, I returned to the LORD with fasting, weeping, and mourning.

Under the shade of a coolibah tree

Soon after humbling myself before the LORD, I was lamenting my inability to remember Scripture with my friend Robin, when he said that he felt in his spirit I must be baptized (immersed). He knew I was baptized as an infant. He also knew that to be baptized again was against the dogma of the reformed church I belonged to. Members are ostracized for doing so.

In late January, with summer in full swing, I went up to the mountains, again. This time I went to a beautiful secluded cool and refreshing mountain pool, tugged away behind a ravine. I sat in the shade underneath a small tree, and no, it wasn’t a coolibah tree – perhaps if I lived in Australia! I was contemplating on past events and waiting on the LORD for unanswered petitions. I read out of Acts 2, and once again I received confirmation of God’s promise given to me during my recent farm visit, this time it was Peter, full of the Holy Spirit, quoting in chapter two what Joel had prophesied centuries earlier in Joel 2:28-30. The relevance of this prophesy to my life up  to that point in time, while also reading about it in Acts, yet again, left me amazed, and I was highly inspired to read further.

In the same chapter of Acts where I read about Joel’s prophesy, in verse 38a, the instruction of Peter hit me right between the eyes, “Then Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins.’” There and then I decided that I wanted to remove all obstacles which could cause a division between me and Christ Jesus, and that I wanted to be baptized, in obedience to His godly command.

After this revelation, I made an appointment with one of my spiritual mothers and mentors, Betsie Siebrits. Many years ago she made the decision (and paid the consequential price!) I was to make now. She gave me one Scripture verse that finally led to my decision to be baptized – as a visible sign of my obedience to God. The Scripture Betsie gave me was from Matthew 3:15 (NLT): “But Jesus said, ‘It must be done, because we must do everything that is right.’ So then John baptized him.”

I felt sure in my spirit that I don’t want to be baptized in a church building or by a church official. At that point I was under the impression that it was only pastors and clergymen that were permitted, by some godly decree, to baptize people. I was relieved to discover in the Word that even ordinary believers were baptizing new believers in Christ. And that there were proof in the Scriptures that in some instances people were baptized for a second time[21] as well. I contacted Robin and asked him to baptize me and my family, of course with their consent.

On an overcast and coldish Saturday morning, 4 February 2006, I was baptized in the tranquil, cool, clear water, and secluded pool in the ravine, where I had come to the decision to be baptized[22] a few days before. As witnesses to this intimate and private occasion were Robin’s wife, Ronelle, Betsie Siebrits, my mother, Marita, Petra and my two daughters. And most importantly, as promised in 1 John 5:7, 8: “For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness on earth: the Spirit, the water and the blood; and these three agree as one.” Betsie also blessed me with a Scripture from 1 Peter 2:9: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”

After being baptized, I asked Robin to, by their consent, baptize my family. He said, “No brother, it should be your privilege, as husband and father, to baptize your family”. For me it was a new experience, and today when I look back to that day, I am humbled and blessed to have been the one to baptize my wife Petra and elder daughter, Jeanne- Marié (then 7 years old); both loved the LORD and were saved. My youngest precious angel, Stephanie (then barely 5 years old), now also a believer – whose story I will share with you at a later stage – said, when I asked her if she also wanted to be baptized, “Daddy, I love Jesus, but I do not want to go under the water!”

Once again, in His infinite wisdom, the LORD was preparing and gently directing me on my spiritual pilgrimage and journey. In the following season, autumn, I made more revealing and wonderful discoveries about His will for my life.

Power Verse

Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized (immersed – my addition) into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Romans 6:3, 4

Reflection & Meditation

1.    What instruction did the LORD give Joel for His people to return to Him and to be ‘open’ to His blessings and promises?

2.    Make a list in your journal of all the promises (and Scripture), which you know is from God, that relate to your (and, if applicable, your family’s) life. Are they a driving force and part of your future, hope and expectation?

3.    What is the significance of baptism in a Christian’s life?

4.    “Baptism should be an act of obedience after receiving Jesus Christ as your Savior and it is a strong spiritual symbol that we were buried, through immersion, into His death, thereby becoming alive to God the Father in Jesus Christ our Savior.” Do you agree with this statement?

Part II:

Autumn - I Want Your Heart

Early Autumn: Hidden Valley

Mid-Autumn: Green Cathedral

Late Autumn: Holy Spirit

The LORD will answer and say to His people, “Behold, I will send you grain and new wine and oil, and you will be satisfied by them; I will no longer make you a reproach among the nations. Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God; for He has given you the former rain (NLT, autumn rains) faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you - the former rain, and the latter rain (NLT, spring rains) in the first month.”

Joel 2:19, 23

Chapter Four:

Hidden Valley

The secret of the LORD is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.

Psalm 25:14

Hearing God’s voice

Our mind (intellect, will and emotions) and flesh are obstacles inhibiting the flow and working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7 and 8, our ‘fleshly’ nature is the result of the “law of sin and death”.[23] Add to the mix a busy daily schedule consisting of deadlines, commuting, house responsibilities, financial pressure, etc. and it becomes quite apparently clear why we cannot hear the gentle voice of God’s Spirit. Solomon also wrote in Proverbs 3:5 that if we want to hear God’s directives for our lives, we should not lean on our own understanding (read, mind or soul), but that we ought to trust in Him with all our heart and acknowledge Him in all our ways!

Oswald Chambers[24] said that the voice of the Spirit of God is as gentle as a summer breeze, a still small voice[25] – so gentle that unless you are living in complete fellowship with God, you will never hear it. He also said that if you are not sensitive enough to detect His voice, you will quench it, and your spiritual life will be impaired (because of this).

To be able to hear God’s voice can’t be put down to an art, science or just a coincidence. God is Sovereign, and why He is actually interested in communicating with us, remains a mystery to me – keeping in mind our unbelief, selfishness, fears and lack of spiritual discernment. But the promise of John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life,” actually defies human logic.

So, by accepting this promise in faith, we must concede and acknowledge that God DOES love us, and that He made us, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, acceptable in His sight ... to be His children and with Christ Jesus, co-heirs of His eternal kingdom.[26] Amazing. He wants to be in constant communion with us. Amazing. He wants to impart to us His will for our lives. Amazing. He wants to share His heavenly treasures with us. Amazing. He sends His only begotten Son to die for our sins, so that He can get our attention, yet again, amazing!

We have an amazing Father in heaven!

I myself do not have the wisdom, insight or understanding to speak,  pray, and prophesy into people’s lives without the indwelling and  anointing power of the Holy Spirit ... working, instructing, guiding,  tutoring, mentoring me.[27] What I have learned about God’s voice, is that, most of the time He uses the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and His Rhema[28] Word, the Scriptures (Bible) – Old Covenant and New Covenant,[29] to direct our footsteps.

However, God also speaks to us through the stillness of the morning. Jesus Christ, King David and many of the prophets and saints rose early in the mornings, long before dawn, to spend solitary time with God, to have communion with Him and to listen to His instruction for their lives.[30] Their testimonies furthermore tell us to become holy, and to separate ourselves from the world, and to listen (not just ask!) to what the Father heart reveals to our heart - through the inward working of the Holy Spirit.

God also speaks to our hearts through our praise and worship. As Blackie and Yvonne Kempen, saints, not on a worldly payroll, but in full-time service for our Beloved, so wonderfully said on Saturday morning 5 August 2006, when they prayed for my healing and my family, “remember, prayer is asking and praise is receiving.” Praise the LORD! And as David has danced before God with all his might[31] and sang and made music and wrote poems (psalms), all to the glory of God, so should we!

When drawing near to God in prayer (to ask Him for His guidance), we must always remember that our Father is a Sovereign God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe – the Great I AM! Therefore, we should enter into His holy presence with a real awe and adoration of His greatness, proclaiming His glory, with a broken, contrite and humble spirit. But, at the same time, also with hearts full of hope, faith and expectancy that our prayers will be answered by Him – another spiritual paradox! Jesus, our Messiah, said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”[32]

Furthermore, God desires our undivided attention – He is a jealous God[33] - otherwise He will not communicate with us through the inner or outer working of the Holy Spirit. Yes, He will bring people, things and circumstances (or as Watchman Nee calls it, ‘environmental arrangements’) in our path to get our undivided  attention, however, a busy  and  self-reliant  lifestyle  will  almost  always  result in the actuality that we shall take our eyes off Him  and in the process ‘lose contact’ due to the suppressing and quenching of His Spirit. By acknowledging Him, giving Him our undivided attention and calling on Him, He shall make known His ‘great and mighty’ plans for us.[34]

We should also become aware of the fact that we are in the first instance spiritual beings, held bondage by our mind and body, earthly goals and aspirations. Fortunately, God uses the Holy Spirit to lead us in wisdom, truth and revelation. This awareness I have also experienced, in a surreal and tangible way during the latter part of this spiritual journey.

Exercising our faith

Our family applied for permanent resident visas for Canada, just one week after the 9/11 (2001) World Trade Centre tragedy. We knew that the application would be a lengthy process and were prepared for the projected 18 month wait. We applied for the visas using the ‘skilled worker program’ avenue and knew beforehand that we had met the minimum requirements. However, because of the global terrorism scare, the expected 18 months turned into 28 months. A prerequisite for moving to Canada for us was selling our farm. The logic was simple since it was my responsibility to manage the farm and secondly, we needed funds to relocate and to establish ourselves there – of course, hoping for a soft landing! We were also aware of the fact that it took immigrants approximately 6-10 months before finding some employment, so we needed enough money to sustain ourselves through this period.

We eventually received our official documents in January 2004 and after visiting Canada in June 2004, received our permanent resident visas. However, we had to return to settle our family business – meaning, selling the farm – but all probable sales turned to nothing. No realistic offer for the farm during the last 2 years, and I was becoming desperate. It was not an easy time to be a farmer in South Africa.

Our visa stipulated that we were allowed a certain amount of time outside of Canada; otherwise we would forfeit the benefits accompanying this visa. In order to meet the visa regulations, we had to be in Canada by mid-2007. This didn’t sound too difficult in 2004, but in 2006, with one’s capital locked up in a farming enterprise, and not being able to sell, dramatically changed the angle on this story. Furthermore, I didn’t want to draw up a new operational budget for the farm for the coming financial year – hoping for an unexpected sale; two years of sensitive negotiations with the neighboring farmer to sell the farm to him, finally failed at end January 2006; we had twice put the farm up for auction, with no success; my Internet based consulting firm’s (which took me three years to develop – in the process investing thousands of dollars and most of my working hours, or waking hours!) return on investment was, shall we just conclude and say that it was completely and utterly unsatisfactory.

With a mind preoccupied with thoughts of defeat I climbed onto my mountain bike early on Thursday morning, 16 February 2006. Armed with my small Afrikaans Bible and Journal in my backpack, I decided to explore some new mountain trails. On my quest to discover and to listen to God’s directions for my life, I got lost on one of the various mountain trails. Fortunately, I discovered some very nice forestry jeep tracks, a beautiful hidden valley, and a couple of places that I was not even aware existed, all on my proverbial doorstep.

My mission that morning was to take the mountain bike up the Dassenberg Mountain as far as possible, and then to walk or climb my way up to the altitude beacon, dimly visible from my home’s front veranda, to actively tune into God’s plan for me and my family. We, God and I, had a number of ‘dry bones’[35] to tackle!

Dassenberg nestles nicely between the fertile Franschhoek and Robert’s Vlei valleys. With the temperature already close to 30 degrees Celsius (86º F) at nine that morning, I gradually climbed up the winding mountain trail with my thoughts focused on one objective – to listen and to hear God’s voice, again.

Mother Theresa once so fittingly replied to a journalist’s question on how she prays. Her reply apparently was, “I am listening”, and the journalist responded to her answer with another question in the line of, “but if you are listening, what is God doing?” Her beautiful and wise remark was: “God is listening, too.” Although I read this story a while ago, it left a lasting impression on me. With our prayers, we bombard God with our wish-lists and in doing so, do not make the time or the effort to try and find out what His wish-list for our lives is. Sometimes we just have to be still before God and, with disciplined thoughts, actively listen to the One who listens.[36]

Finally reaching the summit of Dassenberg just before noon, I made myself comfortable in the shade of a rocky overhang … to listen. It was such a marvelous day with fantastic vistas over the Franschhoek Valley, and in my spirit I had a sure feeling of expectancy that the LORD would give me some direction. I was meditating and reflecting on Angus Buchan’s daily devotional message in A Farmer’s Journal which I had read at home that morning. The topic was ‘Exercising our faith’ and one of the lines of the devotional I wrote in my journal: “Today could be your day, because of your persistence and faithfulness.” This statement was a great source of inspiration and gave me the courage to present my spiritual, intellectual, and physical/material wish-list to the LORD. I reminded Him of my intention to align my life according to His plans and will for my life. I also reminded God about His promise to me in Psalm 40:3, four years earlier, about the ‘new song in my mouth’, at that time I still didn’t know what it was.

The word I received that day from the LORD, as before, was astoundingly simple and obvious. But always true to His pre-destined plans for our lives. Remember, God is the same today, yesterday and forever![37] Armed with His imparted wisdom, I could start planning for the year with new gusto and purpose. The instructions were clear: “Farm as if you will never sell the farm; live as if you will never be going to Canada”. Again God has revealed just enough ‘hidden’ clues to re-direct one of His children through the valley of doubt to the road of righteousness.

On the mountain, I also finally decided that I had to attend the 2006 Mighty Men Conference in mid-April on Angus’s farm, Shalom. By this time I knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that Angus was one of God’s special and truthful apostles. His daily devotionals communicate simple but powerful messages, which were so relevant to the day-to- day challenges I was facing at the time. Being a humble servant, guided by the Holy Spirit, Angus is able to impart God’s wisdom into my life. The conference on his farm, although 1 400 km (875 miles) from Franschhoek, would be a wonderful opportunity to meet Angus again.

Power Verse

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1, 2

Reflection & Meditation

1.    The flesh (i.e. old man/Adam, law), according to Apostle Paul, is governed by a ‘law of sin and death’ resulting in a life lived in captivity or bondage. What ‘law’ will deliver us from the law of sin and death? Read Footnote 23

2.    Oswald Chambers said that the voice of the Spirit of God (Holy Spirit) is a ‘still small voice’. How is one able to hear this soft gentle voice?

3.    Name seven ways God communicate with us.

4.    Reflect for a moment on Mother Theresa’s comment on prayer – have you tried to listen to the Listener? Why not take 5-10 minutes, disciplining your thoughts, and just listen to the One who listens?

5.    Write in your journal all the thoughts and Scripture that come through the ‘still small voice’ during this session and reflect and meditate on these.

Chapter Five:

Green Cathedral

He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He had said to him for the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.”

John 21:17

Feed My sheep

It was after one of the Saturday morning sessions at the 2006 Mighty Men Conference that Angus Buchan sent us into his green cathedral to listen, in the quietness of the fields, to God’s word for our life. Before we left the thousand- seater marquee tent, he specifically prayed for those of us who had indicated that we were not yet sure what our God- given calling was - in my case, my new song.

The healthy looking maize was standing about 2.5 meters (8 feet) tall. Angus was expecting another bumper crop on Shalom, and a thousand men disappeared into the fields, like ants into an anthill in anticipation of a nearing thunderstorm. The wind was howling outside, but inside the field it was quiet and sheltered. I walked quite a distance into this beautiful field to make sure that I was completely private. I did not want to be disturbed while listening to God’s calling for my life.

After about 45 minutes of active listening, praying and meditating,  I slowly started to feel anxious, because the maize fields that Angus so regularly refers to as his green cathedral where he hears God’s still small voice, was not living up to its promise. Perhaps all the other men in the field, or Angus’s past petitions to the LORD had exhausted Him! Maybe, at that point in time, He didn’t have anything to impart into my life?

As I sat there listening, my thoughts kept going back to what Angus said earlier that morning: “Our first priority as men is to feed our sheep!” He emphasized that we must start with the family – ‘feeding’ them first. Or, as he instructed us: “First Jerusalem then Judea and Samaria, and then to the ends of the earth”.[38]

I realized that I had not entirely fulfilled my spiritual responsibility to my ‘flock of sheep’. I knew I could do more to bless and instruct my kids with the touch of our Lord Jesus Christ. I knew that I could be gentler and more understanding with Petra. I knew my relationship with my mother, sister and Petra’s side of the family, was not what it was supposed to be. I knew that I had not fulfilled my spiritual responsibility as employer to the people working on the farm. So, yes, there were plenty of sheep to feed. I didn’t hear any heavenly choruses or even a silent acknowledgment from the Holy Spirit in approval (of my decision to feed my sheep), but in my heart I knew that it was the right thing to do. I decided there and then that I would start to feed my sheep when I returned home to Franschhoek.

I was the last man standing in the maize fields, the last out of a 1 000 to leave the fields. Although I felt disappointed that I did not ‘hear’ a specific calling for my life at the conference, I accepted that to ‘feed my sheep’ was the message God wanted me to take home at that point in time.

The last day of the conference was Sunday, 22 April 2006. The morning service was the closing event and our families were invited. I was a proud husband and father to have my family with me at the service. It was an emotional sight to see men of God, in the presence of loved ones, openly proclaiming their love for Christ Jesus and committing themselves anew to following Christ with fervor and passion.

He wants your heart!

Since Petra and our daughters accompanied me on this trip, we planned to make a nice holiday out of it by visiting an old army friend of mine, John Horn and Petra’s cousin, Stienie Smith. My daughters love horses and John had approximately 250 on his farm near the village of Volksrust in the Mpumalanga province. It was wonderful to see him and his family again. On our arrival, John was already waiting for us on horseback with horses saddled and ready to ride. It was the first time in 24 years that I had ridden a horse and the last time was on John’s farm! For Petra and the kids it was sheer bliss, for me, a sore backside and aching muscles! The blessing of friendship and to share in the sorrows and joys of friends is one of the wonderful gifts of our LORD.

Our next stop was Bethlehem – house of bread! Petra’s cousin Stienie lives there with her artist husband, Johan,[39] and their three boys, in a beautiful stately old home. They had discovered God’s calling for their lives many years back and this dedicated and hardworking family is passionate about serving the LORD, and the LORD loves them. It was a true blessing to be in the company of this happy and wholesome family who genuinely love and serve the LORD. Their lives are a source of inspiration for us and are a living testimony that God does care for those who put their trust in Him.[40]

The evening before we left, we talked about the Holy Spirit and I shared my fears concerning being ‘spirit-filled’. At that point I knew that I loved the LORD and that I was saved, but I wasn’t open to the flow of the Holy Spirit. Both Johan and Stienie had received the anointing and baptism of the Holy Spirit and were blessed with the special Spirit gifts of teaching and prophesying.

Before we left the following morning, Johan and Stienie asked if they could pray for us. They prayed and blessed us as the Spirit of the LORD directed them. For both Petra and I, their words, I believe, were special messages from God, profound and very relevant to our spiritual journey. I can still recall Stienie’s smiling face when she said, “Dawie, the LORD wants your heart!” I was baffled and tried to make sense of this with my mind (still a stronghold at the time). On our trip back south, I told Petra that I did not understand what Stienie meant; I was saved, I knew I belonged to the LORD. However, Stienie sowed a good seed, a seed that would take time - a full winter season - to germinate!

After attending the Mighty Men Conference and visiting Stienie and Johan, I become aware that my mind was a huge obstacle in my relationship with the LORD. I started to realize that I had yet to acknowledge, welcome and embrace the Holy Spirit in my life. I finally came to a season in my life where I realized that I needed the Holy Spirit. For the first time in my life I could read John 14:16 and understand what Christ Jesus meant by saying: “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever”.

I must admit that previously I had a true fear of the Holy Spirit (or Ghost!), mostly born out a lack of knowledge and having been brought up in a church system with a religious dogma that is not quite open to the full working of the Holy Spirit. Maybe I have seen too many movies, read too many books, or heard too many firsthand (but mostly second or third hand!) accounts of people becoming possessed by evil spirits, or people being spiritual mediums. Add to this the fact that I was a control freak and skeptic, therefore, I was definitely not willing to hand my keys over to any spirit. The last thing I wanted to happen to me was to manifest in a different persona, and as a result, become unaccountable for my actions!

I had to confess my fear of the Holy Spirit and ask the LORD to open my eyes to the workings of His Spirit and to make my heart sensitive and receptive to the voice of His Spirit.

Power Verse

Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully.

Psalm 24:3, 4

Reflection & Meditation

1.    Why is it really necessary to live clean and pure before the LORD? Read Matthew 6:14, 15; James 4:7-10; and Psalm 24:5

2.    Ask God to make you aware of the small, hidden and forgotten sins in your life. When you become aware of them, repent and bless the person/situation that caused you to sin or stumble.

3.    Do you have a Green Cathedral, Aalwyn Koppie, Olive Mountain, Mount Horeb … or Ark, where you can be separated from the ‘world’ and receive your ‘rest and refreshing’ from God?

4.    Do you have mentors and friends who are Spirit- filled and are conduits of one or more of the gifts of the Holy Spirit? Read 1 Corinthians 12:7-10 and Ephesians 4:11. Make a list of those individuals and keep in regular contact with them!

5.    Reflect for a moment on the full meaning of ‘feed My sheep’. Who is the flock you are responsible to ‘feed’? Are you shepherding them as God is shepherding you? Read Psalm 23 and John 21:15-17

Chapter Six:

Holy Spirit

However, when He, the Spirit of truth has come, He will guide you into all truth ... and tell you things to come.

John 16:13

I love you Jesus

Since leaving Shalom, I took the command “feed My sheep” literally and I knew that I had to make sure that the flock that I am responsible for, must personally know the good Shepherd[41] and embrace Jesus Christ as the “Way, the Truth and the Life.”[42]

On Monday, 15 May 2006 Petra and Jeanne-Marié left home early, leaving me with the privilege of taking my youngest, Stephanie, to her pre-grade class at Stellenbosch Primary. She was five years old. We sang a few songs in the car and talked about things of interest to five year olds when the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask my daughter questions about her salvation. I recalled my earlier invitation to her to be baptized when she said: “Daddy, I love Jesus, but I do not want to go under the water!” I knew for certain that Petra and Jeanne-Marié loved the LORD and were saved, but I was not sure about Stephanie. I was nervous and silently prayed that the LORD would guide and direct me to ask the right questions and that He would prepare Stephanie’s heart for what was to follow. “Stephanie”, I asked, my voice sounding a bit uneven and hollow, “do you love Jesus?” She answered, “Yes Daddy.” I felt relieved. I continued, “Have you ever asked Jesus to come and live in your heart?” She replied, “No, I haven’t”. “Don’t you want to ask Jesus to come and live in your heart?” I asked her. “Yes, Daddy” she replied. In my heart I was overjoyed, and hiding the tears, I asked her to pray with me. The exact format and words I cannot quite remember, but I can recall that it was something in the line of: “Dear Lord Jesus, I love you very much and today I want to invite you into my life and please come and live in my heart forever.”

I was very pleased and humbled that, as Joshua said, “me and my house”[43] will serve the LORD and that we belong to Him, the LORD of Hosts, and one day we will be reunited in heaven to share eternity there, in the company of ABBA, Christ Jesus and the saints!

Hidden power

I was now eager, ready and willing to learn and discover more about the Holy Spirit. I had heard about the baptism of the Holy Spirit from Stienie and Johan Smith, and by God’s divine arrangement, my path crossed with many believers that have received this anointing or outpouring of the Spirit. As my boldness to share my testimony increased so did other believers’ willingness to share with me their own walk with the Holy Spirit. All this was very new to me, but I felt a growing desire in my heart to receive this anointing, the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

At the time there was a closing down sale at a chain of Christian bookstores with all books and material being sold at 50% or less. I saw it as an opportunity to purchase some books that would teach me more about the (baptism of the) Holy Spirit. I rushed to the bookstore as soon as I could, but my reformed and conservative upbringing made me hesitant to ask for help in finding books about the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

As I approached the woman at the counter, I was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Sheepishly looking over my left shoulder (to make sure that no other customers were listening), I hesitantly asked: “Do you have any books about the baptism of the Holy Spirit?” She frowned and answered that no, she doesn’t think so. Clearly mine was not a common request.

I didn’t have much time to spend ‘shopping’ and I was faced with a disheartening task of finding my own way through the maze of books, searching for books (about the Holy Spirit) that supposedly were not in the bookstore! Given the hundreds of titles on the shelves, I thought my quest may be doomed to failure. But I spoke with the LORD and said, “LORD I don’t know where to look, but I am here to find something about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. LORD, you know how desperate I am to learn more about Your Spirit. If there is such a book, please help me to find it.”

A moment later, I saw an unobtrusive book with the title The Hidden Power of Speaking in Tongues.[44] I took it from the shelf and started reading the back page. I was immediately very skeptical since the picture of the author reminded me of a well-known Indian doctor and sage whose books I had read in the past (I even attended a real life presentation), thinking that this was a secular book. I was about to put it back on the shelf when the Holy Spirit prompted me to buy the book. So I did.

I was also looking for an English Bible. During this season I had rediscovered the ‘agricultural manual’, as Angus Buchan so affectionately calls it, and I literally read my small Afrikaans and NLT Bible to pieces. Since the LORD helped me find a book that wasn’t supposed to be found in this bookstore and I was running out of time, I took the chance and I asked the LORD to guide me in selecting the most appropriate English Bible translation as well! When I held the large print New King James Version Bible in my hands, I just knew that this was the right translation for my season. Little did I know then that during the coming winter season, when I lived on the edge of my lifeline, with my intellectual faculties, physical body and eyesight failing, this large print Bible would become the sustenance for my soul.

At home I immediately started to read Mahesh Chavda’s book and studied the scriptures he quoted. This was the dawning of a new spiritual season. After reading his book, the Holy Spirit, once hidden and a mystery, became more of a reality to me and I was convinced that nothing should stand in the way of my receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit. In The Hidden Power of Speaking in Tongues, Mahesh guided me to scripturally based discoveries about the workings, purpose and characteristics of the Holy Spirit.

Spirit within, Spirit upon

Another teacher on the topic of the Holy Spirit is Watchmen Nee.[45] Nee said that “the work of the Spirit within man is for life and living, enabling him to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The work of the Spirit upon men (baptism or anointing - my addition) is for witness and service, causing us to manifest spiritual gifts.”[46] In John 14:16-17 Jesus clearly promised that the Helper, the Spirit of Truth, will forever abide with us and that He will dwell with us and be in us!

In one of his greatest works, The Spiritual Man, Nee wrote: “God’s children already have the Holy Spirit abiding in them, but they may not recognize Him or obey Him. They need to do so completely. They must realize that this indwelling presence is a Person, One Who teaches, guides, and communicates the reality of Christ to them. Until they are willing to acknowledge the foolishness and dullness of their soul and are ready to be taught, they block the way of this Person. It is necessary for them to let Him regulate everything so as to reveal the truth. Except they know in the depth of their being that God’s Holy Spirit is indwelling them and unless with their spirit they wait for His teaching, they will not welcome His operation upon their soul life. Only as they cease to seek anything by themselves and only as they take the position of the teachable shall they be taught by the Spirit truth which they are able to digest. We know He verily abides in us when we understand that our spirit, which is deeper than thought and emotion, is God’s Holy Spirit and in which we wait for His communication. As we acknowledge Him and respect Him, He manifests His power out from the hidden part of our being by extending His life to our soulical (mind, my addition) and conscious life.”[47]

Nee said when we give our life to the LORD, we receive the indwelling Holy Spirit. Since the Holy Spirit does not bear witness to himself but to Christ. Through His indwelling, He helps us to grow our faith in Christ and to bear the fruits of the Spirit.[48]

On the other hand, if we also receive the outpouring (baptism  or anointing) of the Holy Spirit upon us, we manifest His spiritual gifts, for example: Different kind of tongues, interpretation of tongues, gift of healing and gift of faith, working of miracles, word of wisdom and of knowledge, prophecy, discerning of spirits, teaching, and so forth.[49]

Receiving the Spirit’s outpouring further-more profits a believer’s outward work: Grants power to communicate, instills courage, removes self-consciousness, changes the atmosphere, and receives power to work and manifest His spiritual gifts.[50]

Passion of the Spirit

As my passion for Christ started to increase and my fear of the Holy Spirit started to decrease, I slowly but surely began to remember Scripture. And if not the specific verse, I knew where to find it. Before, I struggled to memorize Scripture, as if a huge heaviness clouded my mind. The Scripture I knew then was very limited, and most of it was what I had learnt as a child.

However, I was still very ignorant on the workings of the Holy Spirit and had not yet received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. On Wednesday, 24 May 2006, I phoned Hennie Swart with the expectation that he would help guide me in receiving the Spirit from above. I made an appointment with him for the coming Friday. Hennie was the pastor of the small Shofar congregation where I had attended a number of services and events, of which Angus Buchan’s breakfast meeting was a significant one. At 12:30 on Friday 26 May, I met Hennie in the counseling room and told him about my fears, thoughts and experiences (regarding the Holy Spirit) to date. Although a few years younger than I, Hennie had empathy for my situation since we shared a similar reformed (evangelical) and conservative upbringing.

After patiently explaining the passion of the Holy Spirit to me, I was finally ready to part with my fears and insecurities. Hennie lead me in a prayer to receive the Holy Spirit. I was hoping for an emotional explosion since so many people had shared this experience with me. Regrettably, I felt nothing of that kind. At one time during the prayer, I felt a warm sensation in my stomach (inner man), but my stronghold mind quickly squashed and inhibited the feeling. I told Hennie about my frustration to - unconditionally and without restraint - be able to hand control over to the warm and gentle touch of God’s precious Spirit. Hennie reminded me that it was, firstly, a step in faith. He consoled me that in time one of the Spirit’s gifts, speaking in tongues, would come to fruition. He directed and shared with me how to set in motion the speaking in tongues, however, during our session that Friday, I was too self-conscious to embrace and receive the full anointing of the Holy Spirit.

I went back home and in my bedroom I started to praise God for the Promise I had received. I asked Him to prevent my mind from hindering and blocking the release of the eternal song of the Holy Spirit. At first, on hearing the ‘unfamiliar sound and syllables’ I felt uncomfortable, but I decided, in faith, that I would keep on praying and rejoicing until my heavenly song was fully released by the Holy Spirit from my ‘mind-captured’ body.

Power Verse

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever - the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.

John 14:16, 17

Reflection & Meditation

1.    What is the most important function of the Holy Spirit?

2.    Explain what Watchmen Nee meant by the indwelling and outpouring nature of the Holy Spirit.

3.    The Holy Spirit is an indwelling presence Person living in our inner man … God with us. Are you prepared to acknowledge and respect Him and let Him manifest His power from the hidden part of your being by extending His life to your soul and conscious life?

4.    Make two lists in your journal, one for the different Spiritual gifts and next to it, a list of all the different fruits of the Spirit. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to saturate your life with the fruits of the Spirit. Let the Spirit of Truth guide you to discover and receive the spiritual gifts He has in store for you. Read Matthew 5:3-11; Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12:7-10, 27-31 and 14:1; Galatians 5:22,23; Ephesians  4:11; 1 Timothy 4:14,15; and 2 Timothy 1:6

Part III:

Winter - Cancer

Early Winter: Papillary Carcinoma

Mid-Winter: Thyroidectomy

Late Winter: Radiation

The LORD says, “I will give you back what you lost to the stripping locusts, the cutting locusts, the swarming locusts, and the hopping locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.”

Joel 2:25 (NLT)

Chapter Seven:

Papillary Carcinoma

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).

Ephesians 2:4, 5

My grace is sufficient for you

As the Boland entered its winter season (June to August), the weather became unpredictable by changing from hot to freezing cold in just a matter of days – unbeknown to me, the weather  outside was also symbolical of changes taking place inside my body.

I had been aware of a small lump, not noticeable from the outside, in my neck for quite some time, but it was never a ‘top of mind’ issue. The discomfort in my neck I put down to the fact that I spent most of my working day in front of the computer. Also as a sportsman, now past my sell-by- date, I was used to feeling  itches and pains in my neck, body, arms and legs after doing ultra-events such as the Ironman Triathlon and Berg River Canoe Marathon, a 220 km (137,5 miles) four day kayak race. If I felt some discomfort, I usually took a paracetamol or aspirin tablet. My erratic sleep patterns and lazy colon I just put down to my ‘control-freak’ nature and the result of living a Westernized lifestyle in a Third World country.

But this winter, overcome by a resilient flu virus, I ended up after days of dosing myself with vitamins and self- help medicine, in the doctor’s consulting room. Doctor Alexander Heywood is a talkative and likeable person. We discussed many non-related issues, comparing amongst others the ethics and philosophy behind the marketing of wine versus the marketing of soft drinks and fast foods. After prescribing some medicine for the flu virus, I brought the lump in my neck to his attention. “It is not supposed to be there,” was his frank assessment. “I have to refer you to a surgeon specializing in this sort of thing,” he continued, “the specialist may need to do a fine-needle aspiration and I am not the man to do it.” He arranged for an appointment and on 30 June 2006 I visited the specialist’s practice in Paarl, a large Boland town 30km from Franschhoek.

The specialist’s assessment was for a biopsy ‘routine’ operation. I wasn’t ready for this type of advice and decided to make an appointment with Doctor Ian Webster, a brilliant dermatologist. He is usually booked months in advance. Since I was an old patient of his, he accommodated me at his Stellenbosch[51] practice after his regular consulting hours on Wednesday 5 July, at 18:30. He also recommended, after examining the lump, that I should undergo a biopsy since it looked to him like a swollen lymph node and referred me to another physician.

I ended up at Doctor SP Weidemann’s practice on 11 July, and met a kind, youthful looking and soft-spoken surgeon. He was prepared to do a fine-needle aspiration and said that he would give it up to three tries to locate the small node with the fine needle. Lucky for me, he was dead on target with his first attempt and I could feel a burning sensation in my neck and hear the squelching sound of the syringe as fluids were extracted from the node. The following day he phoned to inform me that the biopsy results indicated that there was some thyroid tissue in the lymph node, which was strange since it was located some distance from the thyroid gland. He said that I had to undergo an operation to remove the node in order to make a more accurate diagnosis.

I had read and heard many times before about routine operations ‘going horribly wrong’. Usually, this implied death or severe disfiguration of the poor patient. The day before I was to report at the hospital, and with ‘death by operation’ on my mind, not being a frequent visitor to hospitals, I decided on that sunny winter’s day to go for a walk to a lovely park-like setting next to a dam (man-made reservoir lake) in one of Franschhoek’s residential areas. In a reflective and pensive frame of mind, I started to evaluate my life. I asked questions such as: “How would you measure your relationship with your kids?” Giving myself a score out of 10. I continued with this life assessment game by rating my relationship with Petra, my family and friends; my relationship with God; my performance as a financial provider for my family; and whether I had made the most of my God-given talents.

While I was walking around the dam, I realized that I had failed miserably in my life test. If I used Christ Jesus’ life in the flesh as a benchmark for my evaluation, I could only say: “Guilty, my LORD”. I pictured myself before the throne on Judgment Day, with satan, the ruler of this world,[52] as the accuser to my left and Christ Jesus to my right. Before the deceiver could start his case, Christ Jesus looked at him and decreed: “Go away from here, satan, this is My son, his name is written in the Book of Life!” With this scenario playing out in my mind, I felt ashamed and knew that I did not have a leg to stand on. I am only saved by grace alone and there is nothing I can do in the flesh that merits a call-up to heaven. I again recalled the wonderful and powerful Scripture where the Creator of the universe love becomes so tangible: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”[53] As Luke so reassuringly wrote in Acts 15:11a, “But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved.”

On the morning of 25 July at 06:30, I reported to the Stellenbosch Mediclinic hospital fully aware that ‘only by faith and by grace’ could I be assured of my salvation.

No fear or anger

A few days after the operation Petra and I were sitting across the desk from Doctor Weidemann in his consulting room. I intuitively felt that the news was not going to be good. “You have papillary carcinoma of the thyroid gland”, said Doctor Weidemann in an understated tone, giving me some hope that my case was not that severe. He continued, “We also did a fine-needle biopsy, during the operation, on your thyroid gland and the tests confirmed our diagnosis.” “What is the procedure from here?” I asked him. “Full thyroidectomy,” he answered.

I wondered out aloud, “What does this mean?” Doctor Weidemann said, “We must remove the thyroid gland and it may also require radical neck surgery to remove infected lymph glands, but I will have to refer you to Professor Ludwig Schumann,[54] he is a specialist in this field. I will assist him during the operation ... this is a very specialized operation.”

After I had been diagnosed with cancer, a terminal condition if left untreated, people’s response usually was: “I am so sorry to hear this,” or “how did you become aware of it?” or “you are still so young, how are Petra and the girls dealing with it?” or they asked me if I was scared, angry or cross with God. My honest and sincere reply was and is: “No I do not have any fear, no I am not angry (with God), you must remember that life is inherently full of risk.” In South Africa one just needs to look at happenings around us – murder, rape, violence, people crippled for life in car accidents, people living with mental, physical or psychological handicaps, people living with Aids, people living with transplanted organs, or suffering from apoplexy. And, what about children being abused and molested by parents and adults? Compared to these, I knew that my cross was by no means too heavy a burden to carry. Christ Jesus has equipped us with the power from above, the Holy Spirit, to help lighten the load.

However, I was pleased that Doctor Weidemann referred me to this highly acclaimed Professor with the German surname. I drove a 19-year-old German automobile, which was solidly made, very safe, reliable and cost a fortune to keep on the road. I know Germans share many of these characteristics; I expected nothing less from Professor Schumann – safe, reliable and expensive!

Power Verse

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.

Ephesians 2:8

Reflection & Meditation

1.    Angus Buchan often says: “Good people don’t go to heaven, but believers do!” Why are doing good deeds (works) not enough for our salvation?

2.    Why are bad things also happening to good people (Christian believers)? Read Exodus 4:11; Deuteronomy 11:13-21, 26-28; Joel 2:25; Job 1:6-12; Luke 13:15, 16; John 9:1-4; 2 Corinthians 12:7, 10; 2 Timothy 3:12; Hebrews 12:5-13; and James 1:2-4

3.    What can we learn from aforementioned Scripture? Read 1 Chronicles 29:11-13 and Matthew 5:45

4.    That God the Father loves and cares for us is actually beyond comprehension, given our unbelief, disobedience and self-righteous nature. Why is He (still) interested in our salvation? Read Deuteronomy 7:7,8a and John 3:16

5.    We live in a fallen world and find ourselves in a spiritual warzone. The deceiver is doing everything possible to stop God the Father from re-establishing, building and growing His kingdom on earth … as it is in heaven. What can we, as Christian believers, do to help God to enlarge His kingdom on earth? Read Footnote 52; Leviticus 20:7, 8; Matthew 5:48; and Mark 16:15-18

Chapter Eight:

Thyroidectomy

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1, 2 (NIV)

Doctor Schumann, I presume

We expected someone in his late fifties or early sixties. He introduced himself as Professor Schumann, a handsome 6’1” athletic man with blond hair, an open, clean-shaven face and a twinkle in his blue eyes. I thought that he was way too young to be a Professor! While Petra and I were sitting in the waiting room, we looked at the walls in amazement. They were decorated with his degrees, diplomas, and several other incredible achievements. There were even a few business degrees interspersed between the medical ones. Petra and I wondered out loud how he could find the time, between a successful medical practice and a professorship at the University of Stellenbosch Medical Faculty, to study all this? We barely cope with our daily workload raising our two daughters! At least we felt sure that if we had to choose a doctor to remove my thyroid gland, based solely on the de facto evidence on the waiting room wall, Professor Schumann would definitely get the nod.

He is clever and witty and even put Petra in her place for asking too many questions. On a more serious note, however, he explained: “You fall in the high risk category and the procedure, as Doctor Weidemann mentioned, is a thyroidectomy.” In layman’s terms this translates to the complete removal of the thyroid gland. He discussed possible dates for the operation, but I was not ready to let go of my thyroid gland. I knew that people had been praying for me and thought to myself: “Shall I tell him that according to Hebrews 11:6, God the great Physician, expects of me to have faith in Him. Or about the beautiful elderly couple in Grabouw, Blackie and Yvonne Kempen, who prayed for my complete healing?” “Professor”, I nervously started, “my faith in our Lord Jesus expects me to believe that I am healed, and many people, me included, have prayed for my complete healing.” He had heard this story many times before from hopeful cancer patients and said: “The only way to accurately detect your condition is to do it the old fashioned way, by using your hands and feet.” He said this with a sympathetic smile, trying to lighten up a somber and uncomfortable moment.

“Please come and sit on this chair and I will see if there is a change in your condition.” Unfortunately, the lump on the left lobe of the thyroid gland was still there. “We have to remove the gland, but you don’t have to worry, it is the better cancer to have since the success rate for treating this cancer is very high, 90 percent plus. A radical neck dissection also doesn’t seem necessary because I couldn’t locate any other swollen lymph glands” he mentioned as a matter of fact.

This time the operation was much more serious than the previous one and several complications could arise, like damaging some vocal cords or scraping one of the calcium secreting glands located at the back of the thyroid. But the biggest issue for me was that I had to part with one of my ‘babies’, a critical gland that regulates many bodily functions, including my metabolism. It felt to me as if a part of my independence and manhood would be removed with this operation. I have travelled in solo in Scandinavia, the UK, Europe, the Middle East, climbed the Andes, paddled on the upper parts of Amazon River and some of its tributary rivers in a dugout canoe, swum with the shy freshwater pink dolphins in Rio Beni, hiked the Inca trail at Machu Picchu, and I still wanted to do an extreme adventure trip in Alaska in the near future. However, after this operation I would have to drink synthetic hormones, on a daily basis, for the rest of my life. I feared that this would diminish my enthusiasm for life and my vitality. God, I believe, was probably smiling at his son, usually so full of bravado and confident in his own physical capabilities and now totally unsure of what to make of the latest twist in his fate.

Cleanse your hands, you sinners

I believe that God knew beforehand the changes this season would bring in my life. He knew that this season was to bring His son closer to His side. Through his prophet Jeremiah, God revealed His plan for His children: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”[55]

I knew that this time it was a serious matter. The previous operations – removal of the lymph gland, the basal cell carcinoma on my back, my tonsils, and the operation on my inguinal hernia - were all small fry. I visited Aalwyn Koppie again. The LORD spoke to me by the word of James: “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the LORD, and He will lift you up.”[56]

Immediately, after receiving this Scripture, I started confessing past sins that I had ‘forgotten’. I started confessing and rebuking any negative feelings toward my Grade 1 teacher who gave me a spanking (probably a deserved one) on my first day at school. People I have hurt throughout my life by my inconsiderate actions and words came rushing to me like the waterfall visible from the koppie. “Please forgive me LORD, and please bless all the people that I have and may have hurt with my thoughts, words and actions with a double portion of Your blessings.”

For the first time in my life I felt, as Angus Buchan says, ‘squeaky clean’ in the presence of my LORD. I started to weep, this time the sobs came from deep in my stomach and inner being. Tears ran freely over my cheeks, but this time I didn’t care, trying not to be in the way of this cleansing and healing process. Since my thyroidectomy operation, I have cried many, many times – altogether more than I have cried in my mind controlled life of 44 years. The doctors said that, because of the treatment, I would become intellectually, physically and emotionally very tired. I experienced this and reached the pits of them all, but I know deep in my heart that I was also weeping for spending a lifetime away from really knowing God - because of my past disobedience, ignorance, and being a pedantic fool.

Like a microwaved Frankfurter

I was hoping for an out-of-body experience while under anesthesia or at least being able to see the comforting and reassuring face of our Lord Jesus Christ. But, I woke up after the operation in the hospital’s ICU ward, shaking, cold, disoriented and with a terrible headache. Petra, my rock, was sitting next to me and explained that the operation had taken longer than expected, almost two hours, but that everything had gone well. Petra sat with me for a few hours, reading to me, until she was sure I was OK and left for home where my mother was looking after our daughters.

That night was probably the longest night of my life, apart from the one during the Bush War in Angola in 1981. We were on high alert the whole night, waiting for the helicopters to arrive the next day to come and ‘casevac’ our radio ordinance, seriously wounded in the chest after an ‘own forces’ shootout. We were tired, hungry and thirsty after being on patrol for days. That specific day we walked approximately 40 km (25 miles) under very difficult and hostile conditions and were in the process of putting up a temporary base for the night. After observing the ‘last lights rule’ of warfare two hours earlier at dusk, we walked another 4 or 5 kilometers (2 to 3 miles) before deciding to go into our temporary base for the evening. It took quite a while for 90 infantrymen to clear and secure the area to sleep for the night. One of the radio ordinances, in a state of tiredness and not thinking clearly, picked up his R4 assault rifle by the barrel and in the process of pulling the rifle towards him, a branch touched the trigger and a shot was fired. Fortunate for him the close range shot in the chest caused minimal damage. We all heard the anxious howl cry “Help me!” after the shot. Unfortunately, this triggered a battle zone for about 10 minutes; we thought we were being attacked by the enemy. Bullets were flying in all directions and tracers were graphically visible in the night sky. With the hollow sound of a MAG machine gun to my left, ringing in my ears; I took full aim at a shadowy figure that was standing approximately 25 m (27 yards) from me, just visible through the sights of the rifle. Some voice in my tired but alert mind told me not to shoot. The shadowy figure ducked away. I was just starting to think how stupid I was not to shoot at the enemy when I had the chance, when I heard someone shout: “Stop, stop, don’t shoot, own forces!”

Feeling too uncomfortable to lie, sit or stand, and not being able to pass water for more than 16 hours, in the lonely early hours of that winter’s night, I thought back to that long night in 1981, exactly 25 years ago to the month. This time, I hoped that ‘we’ had successfully attacked and conquered the right enemy lurking within me. Though, this time my body was carrying the wounds and scars of the battle.

The morning after the operation, to say the least, I was feeling very, very uncomfortable. I got the fright of a lifetime when I looked in the mirror and saw Mister Frankfurter, or shall I say Mister Frankenstein - my neck swollen to the size of my head. I looked like some of those big wrestlers on the sports channel. And when I closed my eyes, I saw only darkness and little men with glaring eyes and mouths full of oversized and sharp teeth. Almost like watching my own Lord of the Rings movie.

I had such a high level of discomfort that I felt that I was at the crossroad of my life. “Today, it will be left or right”, I thought to myself. I was hoping to visualize the face of the Lord Jesus Christ when closing my eyes, or see an illuminated cross or clouds with the sun bursting through. But nothing. Just darkness and the silly hallucinations. I decided there and then that I would rejoice in the LORD, come what may. I would do everything in my power, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and with the help of countless prayers of loved ones, to keep my eyes on Christ Jesus. I said to myself, “praise the LORD!” Thinking about what Yvonne Kempen had told me the week before, “remember that praying is asking and praising is receiving.” I needed to receive God’s grace and strength to pull me through this challenging season in my life – He has been, as the psalmist wrote in Psalm 121, the Preserver of my going out and my coming in, from birth to date.

Since my childhood days my Grandmother, Miems Broodrijk, a wonderful and godly woman who loved me very much and whom I adored, told me and instilled in me the meaning and significance of my name, Dawid, meaning ‘beloved’. Now, being an adult in the halftime season of my earthly life, I could appreciate how ABBA Father has, by His divine intention, guided and protected me as a beloved and adopted son, to this day. I recalled the Scripture in Habakkuk: “Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls – yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.”[57] I also reflected on a psalm written by King David, God’s beloved, and decided that - even though I experienced intense discomfort, even though my life’s road may turn left or right on this day, the song of my life will remain: “Praise the LORD, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm.”[58]

With ‘praise the LORD!’ spinning like a mantra in my mind, I fell asleep. Assured in the knowledge that God is good.

Power Verse

Praise the LORD, I tell myself; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Praise the LORD, I tell myself, and never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.

Psalm 103:1- 3 (NLT)

Reflection & Meditation

1.    Why is it so important to ‘praise the LORD’, even if you are suffering?

2.    Have you come to a time and place in your life where you can say, without any shadow of doubt, that you have real peace in your heart – peace that surpasses all understanding? Read Philippians 4:4-7

3.    Make a list of everything that currently causes ‘dis- ease’ in your life. Praise the LORD for this, bless His holy name … and know that in His time, He shall fully redeem and save you … remember, He is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him.

4.    Recall past events where you were in the ‘valley of affliction’ and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal God’s hand and heart for allowing this to happen.

Chapter Nine:

Radiation

And (Christ Jesus) hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to Him [be] glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Revelation 1:6 (KJV)

Silent spring

My body was crying out for salt, but my oncologist’s orders were clear: “No salt, food supplements, fish, seafood, dairy products, eggs, or processed foodstuffs, containing salt or iodine for the next week”. This ruled out most types of food, apart from fresh fruit, vegetables, and meat prepared without salt. I wanted to give my physical body the best possible chance to be perfectly primed for the second phase of my cancer therapy - two radio-active iodine capsules, taken orally and in isolation.

On 11 September 2006, I was admitted to the cancer treatment ward’s isolation quarters of Mediclinic’s Panorama hospital for my personal ‘9-11’ experience. The view from my room was stunningly beautiful – Table Mountain clearly visible with its flat top and environmental splendor. But due to my state of mind, it could just as well have been an oversized poster of the well-known mountain on the wall of this cold and sterile room. The mountain I had to climb inside the isolation ward was more real and challenging to me than the one on the outside of the large window. My immediate challenge was made even greater, having to fight this silent enemy with a salt-less body, carrying the load of the operations, and a life (in this controlled experiment) without my thyroid gland and its life-giving and sustaining hormones.

At that point in time, I had been without my thyroid gland for almost four weeks, and three weeks without any hormones and 10 days without iodine. I lost 6 kilograms (16.5 pounds) in 3 weeks, and a bleak and unsure 4 to 7 days in isolation lay ahead.[59]

We, Petra, Doctor Jacobs the oncologist, and I were waiting for Vincent, the physicist from the Nuclear Medical Research Foundation, with his lethal radio-active consommé. Petra and I requested a few minutes to be alone, but we were interrupted when Vincent arrived. We only had a semi-private moment to hold each other and to say our prayers and goodbyes. I almost felt like one on death row, given one last chance to be with a beloved. We prayed and cried. While I was still holding on to Petra, the ‘C Team’ re-entered the room and requested her to observe the proceedings from a safe distance (outside the room). She reluctantly left my clutching arms.

Two cicada beetles

The two capsules arrived in a metal box on wheels, and armed with a Geiger-meter, Vincent opened the box and removed the radio-active capsules from another smaller red cylindrical container. He deposited the two capsules in my hand and requested that I swallow them as soon as possible. With a polystyrene cup, half-filled with water, I swallowed, first the one and then the other under the guiding eye of Doctor Jacobs. At the time it felt as if I was to swallow two live cicada beetles on Fear Factor.[60]

As soon as I had swallowed the capsules, Vincent activated the Geiger Meter, and with an almost deafening squealing sound, it announced my newfound status as one of the world’s most radio-active individuals. The oncologist and physicist retreated, not wanting to be exposed to the harmful gamma rays.

I can still recall my wife’s beautiful face looking at me through the closing door. I tried to put on a brave face, but the tears could not be contained. I felt empty and a sadness and heaviness overcame me. Even in this condition, I reflected on God’s glory, praising Him for a wonderful life and for blessing me with a loving family.

Outside the ward, at their homes, at work or on the road, family, friends and saints were praying for my full recovery and for God’s blessings in my life. Just like caring believers have done all through the ages.

I took a lot of books with me into the isolation ward, including a laptop, cell phone, mind maps, stacks of paper and writing instruments, believing that I would have plenty of time to kill. Therefore, plenty of time to pen my thoughts for this book – as ‘instructed’ on 7 August by the still small Voice. However, my lust for life was waning faster than the speed of sound as I felt the radio-activity hitting its intended target. I experienced a strange feeling and considerable discomfort in the area where Professor Ludwig Schumann had removed the thyroid gland and a couple of lymph nodes a few weeks earlier. With my body in a state of shock and not knowing what next to expect, I was instinctively induced into a state of paralysis, overcame by feelings of desolation and desperation.

Not even the joys of parenthood, awesome sunsets, beautiful vistas and recalled sounds and memories of my laughing and playful children could lift me out of my misery. I was left with a feeling of doubt: “Will I ever be able to enjoy, once again, the splendors of God’s creation?” With my salt- less, weak and radio-active body it felt impossible at that time. I also recalled the few days after the thyroidectomy operation when darkness, hallucinations, pain and bodily discomfort tried to overwhelm me with thoughts of desperation. However, by the grace of God, and through the prayers of His saints, I managed to fight the good fight and win the battle by reading again and again one of David’s life-line psalms: “BLESS the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with loving- kindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”[61]

Once again I rejoiced in the LORD. I cried, prayed and rejoiced! Thus keeping my mind from the idle hours, tasteless breakfasts, lunches and dinners – all served without salt and in polystyrene disposable containers. I was holding on to a strict regimen of  rejoicing, praying, drinking plentiful cups of water, resting, and  showering up to 7 times a day in a very erratic and temperamental shower, trying to speed up recovery and ridding my body of the harmful radio-active rays. I wanted to be home with my family as soon as possible. In this state of purgatory, God was working with me, sharing His simple, yet life giving wisdom with me. To our Creator, tomorrow is already known, yesterday can be called back, as if today![62]

Establishing the family unit

In a state of physical and mental weakness, God was restoring me in the spiritual and earthly kingdom as the king, prophet and priest of my family.[63] Unbeknown to me, Petra had hidden messages of hope and love between my books. I believe our spiritual and earthly fortunes changed the instant when I read Petra’s note, written on a card, ‘hidden’ in my NKJV Bible: “I love you so much!! Looking forward to a long and happy life together. The kids and I are blessed to have such a king, priest, and prophet as the head of our home!” Signed Petra, followed by three hearts.

I broke down in tears as the Holy Spirit showed me the significance of this declaration. After accepting this declaration from my beloved I instantly ‘knew’ that we, as a God-fearing and loving family, were established and equipped in the spiritual domain, to receive God’s reserved blessings and miracles for our lives.

Many wonderful and miraculous things, too private and perhaps not relevant to this story, have happened in our family’s lives since Petra’s declaration on 11 September 2006. And we started, more wholeheartedly than ever before, to live in faith and in expectation of the promises of a new season.

In His Word, God is very clear on the issue of ‘establishing the family unit’.[64] It is God’s wish that we as a family must be united in our quest to serve Him. God’s promises to His children become a reality when the family order is established. That is why, Joshua, the successor to Moses, could declare: “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”[65] With this declaration of intent, Joshua knew that God’s earlier promises and directives to him will and shall become a reality. The LORD spoke to Joshua: “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”[66]

By acting on God’s promises and by establishing the family unit, God made Joshua one of the greatest leaders in all of the history of Israel, and only his house and Caleb’s house, of the faithless generation, entered the Promised Land with the new generation: “Except for Caleb the son of Jephunneh and Joshua the son of Nun, you shall by no means enter the land which I swore I would make you dwell in. But your little ones, whom you said would be victims, I will bring in, and they shall know the land which you have despised.”[67]

During the last week of my spiritual winter season, my fifth week without my thyroid gland and in my fourth and final week without receiving any hormones - barely hovering over my life’s threshold, I was immensely blessed with the fullness, frequency, and extent to which God revealed to me His intended new season for our family.

Power Verse

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Joshua 24:15b

Reflection & Meditation

1.    Explain what you understand by ‘establishing the family unit’.

2.    Why should a family be united in their quest to serve God? Read Joshua 1:5, 8 and 9

3.    Is your family ‘established’ where the father or husband (if no father or husband, the mother) is the spiritual head of the family, as Christ Jesus is the head of the church (body)?

4.    Established spirit-filled believers and their families have three important duties and privileges in God’s earthly kingdom, namely as king, priest and prophet. Does your (family) life reflect this? Read 1 Corinthians 14:1, 3 and 5; Romans 8:16,17; 1 Peter 2:9; Revelation 1:6 and 5:10

Part IV:

Spring – King of Glory

Early Spring: Awakening

Mid-Spring: Seven I AM Names

Late Spring: New Covenant

And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,  your  old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.

Joel 2:28

Chapter Ten:

Awakening

Then He spoke to them a parable: “Look at the fig tree, and all the trees. When they are already budding, you see and know for yourselves that summer is now near. So you also, when you see these things happening, know that the kingdom of God is near.”

Luke 21:29-31

The acceptable year

As nature around me awakened from its winter sleep, it finally dawned on me what the new song was that God had made me aware of more than four years ago. My new song was to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD[68] and to make people aware of the gift of the Promise Giver, the Holy Spirit. It was such a relief to find my small purpose in God’s great and grand design.

*******

Way back in the beginning people believed and even to this day, people still believe the lie of satan, the originator of sin. In the Garden of Eden, the deceiver, disguised as a serpent, persuaded Eve (and Adam) to sample the ‘forbidden fruit’ of the tree of knowledge of good and evil with the empty promise of “your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”[69]

We must not believe this lie of the deceiver, because he knows that as long as we continue to believe in ‘I’m okay, you’re okay’, or in own power and understanding, or self- help psychology, or keep on eating from the fruits of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, God’s power will not be fully released in us through His Promise, the Holy Spirit. We do not have to (or let me rephrase, we should not) rely on our mind to make decisions of sound judgment. Only by surrendering our mind to Christ, will the foe be defeated. Only when we find our old self, the old Adam, completely and utterly unacceptable in the sight of the LORD, will we be ready to receive His glory. Only when we walk in obedience, righteousness and faith, will God unleash the full baptism and powerful working of the Holy Spirit on and in us, equipping and enabling us to prophesy, dream dreams, see visions, impart words of wisdom, and declare healing into the lives of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and to live lives bearing the fruits of the Spirit[70] which is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

*******

With my body dying and crying out for help, the final frontier of human resistance, the mind, was broken.[71] With my mind no longer able to inhibit the outpouring of the Spirit, my spirit opened to the voice of the Holy Spirit - hearing His voice and directions for my life. There is no earthly treasure that can compare with the priceless gift of hearing God’s voice. In discovering the new song the LORD had put in my mouth there also emerged a new season for my life. This new season was my true awakening in the fullness of God’s promises for my life. It was also the dawning and proclaiming of the acceptable year of our LORD.

In a tired body and mind God found a willing vessel and an open channel to rest His Spirit upon and impart and share His spiritual blessings with. Now, with the mind unable to dominate or control my heart, I could finally surrender my heart to ABBA, our Heavenly Father.

To the frail and easily corruptible human mind, surrendering our mind to Christ sounds completely irrational and irresponsible. But what does the Bible say about this paradox ... the surrendering of our mind faculties (to God) and to embrace the fullness of the Holy Spirit to guide us? Following are just a few scriptures that may cast some light on this ‘heart-faith’ paradox:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5, 6

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach ... but let him ask in faith, with no doubting ... every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights.

James 1:5,6a and 17a

Consider what I say, and may the LORD give you understanding in all things.

2 Timothy 2:7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known before God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6, 7

That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints … praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.

Ephesians 1:17, 18 and 6:18a

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God ... we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:12, 16b

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Galatians 5:25

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul and body[72] be preserved blameless at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:23

Above are only nine of many scriptures in the Bible dealing with heart-faith versus mind-faith. Today I can publicly proclaim and confess that every single word in the Bible (if read in context) is true, because the Word, Jesus Christ, is the same yesterday, today, and forever! If it was true and relevant for David, it is also true and relevant to us living in the 21st Century “for the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”[73]

Salt of the earth and living water

During the aftermath of the cancer season, with a body low on iodine and thyroid hormones, salt became a much needed commodity in my life. Without salt, life became literally tasteless. At one point, I thought that life had forever lost its luster and nothing would ever be able to bring the joie de vivre back. Life was dull, grey and bland. After being released from the isolation ward, the first thing I did was to buy a packet of salty potato crisps, the type that I loved as a 6 year old boy. It tasted wonderful!

The whole experience awakened in me a new and fresh realization of what Christ Jesus meant by being ‘salt of the earth’. I also discovered that we, as believers, can sometimes be too salty or have too little salt, making us on both accounts ineffective as proclaimers or disciples of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Too salty and we push and scare people away with our zealous behavior. Too little salt and the world will not even take notice of us and the Good News. In the Gospel of Matthew this is beautifully summarized: “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”[74]

Fortunately, living with the Spirit of Truth makes us aware of when we are too salty or have too little salt. Although we should be bold and courageous[75] when sharing the Gospel, one should also be sensitive to and mindful of the spiritual, intellectual and physical needs of our fellow man. One should bear in mind that people may be in different seasons and as a result not always be open to or interested in one’s own message or life story.

I know that I was salt-less before I made a decision on 17 September 2005 to put God first in my life. Today, at times I may be too salty in my enthusiasm to share the Good News. Fortunately, we can all learn from the example Christ Jesus set during his earthly life. He befriended sinners, fishermen, prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, military officers, Samaritans, etc. because He was so saturated by the Holy Spirit, in touch with the will of His Father, and secure in His love for His children, that He could live without a spirit of condemnation. Because of Christ Jesus’ perfect example in the flesh, Apostle Paul could write: “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”[76]

I have also learnt that even with a tiring body and mind, we have a tireless spirit. Given its freedom, the spirit will soar in the heavens with endless energy. At the time of my treatment, I could talk about the grace of God, for hours at end, without tiring. But as soon as the conversation changed to everyday, secular, worldly things, I immediately became irritable, tired and lost interest. Because my heart was so full of gratitude and joy, I could hardly restrain myself from talking about our amazing Father and His wondrous workings in my life. I started to appreciate what Christ Jesus meant when he told the Samaritan women at Jacob’s well near Sychar in Samaria, “but whoever drinks of the water I shall give him will never thirst. But the water I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water spring up into everlasting life.”[77] One day our spirit will leave the old and decaying body behind, and in our glorified bodies, we shall continue drinking from the Eternal Fountain and shall never be thirsty again!

Circle of faith

The Holy Spirit also imparted into my heart the ‘circle of faith’ we must live by. Ordering and prioritizing our life is so simple yet critically important to receive and experience God’s peace, blessings and guidance for our life. Christ Jesus also made this principle more pertinent to us when He taught the disciples about the circle of faith by which they should live – starting with a declaration of our faith in God and our love for Him. Secondly, our Agape (God) love must overflow to an active and self-less filia (brotherly) love for family, friends and foes. Finally, in faith and with our first fruits - time and resources, we should obediently, tangibly, with a pure heart, and with gratitude, repay Him for His grace. [78]

•     Faith in God

We know that without faith it is impossible to please God. Christ Jesus taught us about this unrestrained faith and dedication towards God and His kingdom in the model prayer: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”[79] and by instructing us to “first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (what to eat, drink or wear – my addition) shall be added to you.”[80]

Because of his faith, our Creator God selected Moses as a leader and prophet for His chosen people.[81] Through Moses, God made known the Torah (law or commandments) to foster our faith and obedience in Him with a resultant choice – life or death: “It shall  be that if you earnestly obey My commandments which I command you today, to love the LORD your God and serve Him with your heart and with your soul, then I will give you the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the latter rain, that you may gather in your grain, your new wine, and your oil ... I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days.”[82]

Christ Jesus told the Pharisees in Matthew 22:37-40, which lead us to the second principle, that “you shall love (trust, obey, fear – my addition) the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and Prophets.”

•     Family, friends and foes

Jesus Christ said that the second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. He also gave Peter the instruction to ‘feed His sheep’ meaning to care for his family and fellow men. James, Christ Jesus’ half-brother, talked about pure and undefiled religion, which implies that we should care for the orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep us unspotted from the world.[83]

Paul was also quite clear on this principle when he wrote to Timothy that “if anyone does not provide for his own, especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”[84] John, the ‘beloved disciple’ also wrote that Christ Jesus gave us the commandment “that he who loves God must love his brother (and sister) also.”[85]

Christ Jesus told His followers: “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”[86] Love is a verb – we show our love, not only by our words, but through our actions too! Our Lord Jesus has also pushed the boundaries of ‘love thy neighbor or brother’ to the most unthinkable level ... “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven ... therefore you should be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.”[87]

We have to admit that it is very, very difficult, actually impossible, to unconditionally love family, friends and foes as commanded. Providentially for us, this becomes possible with the help of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus that has set us free from the sinful nature of the old Adam.[88]

•     Finances

Through faith we must also believe that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek and trust Him.[89] Faith therefore becomes the substance of what we hope for.[90] If we, through faith, surrender the best of our ‘first fruits’ to Him, He will supernaturally provide in all our earthly needs – spiritual, intellectual and physical. Our giving should consequently be unconditional because all we have (every good and perfect gift) is from God.[91] By giving Him our time and resources, we ultimately acknowledge God as our provider, the true source of our ‘all sufficiency’.[92]

God in fact commands us to honor Him with our possessions and with the first fruits of all our increase.[93] Therefore, before re-investing your money in your lifestyle, mutual fund or your family, invest firstly into God’s kingdom - give the part of the first fruits that belong to God, back to Him. We should not steal from God. The prophet Malachi gave us the word from God to “bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.”[94]

There is also an eternal consequence for us regarding the handling of ‘our’ finances. Jesus Christ told a wealthy young man that it is impossible to enter the kingdom of heaven if his love for money exceeds his love for Him.[95] The Lord Jesus told the young man that he must sell all he has, to give the money to the poor, and follow Him. Christ Jesus wanted to teach the rich young man (and us) that it is impossible to love God and money equally since we will always cherish the one more than the other.[96] We can only serve one master! In order to follow Him we must be prepared to depart from all our earthly belongings if He so instructs us – not looking back at (clinging to or longing for) what we have to leave behind.[97]

Finally, by reading the Scriptures we shall see that God also expects from his children to be responsible stewards, benefactors and administrators of all that He has bestowed on us.[98]

Living according to this cycle is an incredible privilege. As children of God and co-heirs with Christ we can expect (and boldly ask) God to bless us. Remember our Father is the LORD of Hosts and the King of Glory, the Provider! God is not a man that He should lie,[99] therefore, having the seal of our redemption[100] and adoption[101] we can by faith boldly enter His presence and ask Him, in the name of Jesus Christ, to be our provider – ask and you shall receive![102]

Power Verse

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:23

Reflection & Meditation

1.    What is the difference between ‘heart-faith’ and ‘mind-faith’?

2.    Jesus Christ referred to his disciples (or Christian believers) as the ‘salt of the earth’ and the ‘light of the world’. What did he mean by that?

3.    The source of the living water that Jesus Christ mentioned in John 4:14 runs from the innermost being of a believer, the residing place of the Holy Spirit! What will happen if a believer drinks of this Living Water? Read also Revelation 22:1, 17

4.    Living in the ‘circle of faith’ is a very ‘simple’ spiritual law, yet very difficult to carry out in modern-day life. It comes down to living a life of total obedience, self-sacrifice, consecration, hope and faith. Is it really worth all the effort?

5.    Why should we pray to the Father, in the name of Jesus Christ? Read Footnote 102

Chapter Eleven:

Seven I AM Names

(May) the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

2 Corinthians 13:14

Seventh heaven

Seven has always been my favorite number. However, the full spiritual and Scriptural significance of this number only dawned on me when I learned that Christ.[103] Jesus,[104] the LORD[105] and the Holy Spirit[106] each have seven ‘I AM names’. In the Scriptures, the number seven means completeness or spiritual perfection.[107] Uniting Elohim God[108] with seven ‘I AM names’, opened a deeper understanding of the awesome and wonderful nature of our Creator God – YHWH (the LORD), Y’shua (Jesus) and Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit).

I will be sharing with you in the following three sections this age old wisdom of the seven I AM’s of Christ Jesus, ABBA, and Holy Spirit. My prayer is that this information will guide you to a deeper understanding of the God we serve. THE one true almighty living God!

The seven I AM names of Jesus Christ, the Son – Y’shua HaMashiach

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

I became interested in the seven I AM statements of Christ Jesus after hearing about it from Hennie Swart, the local pastor at Franschhoek Shofar Church. He referred to it during a Sunday morning service in April 2006. After the service I asked Hennie to tell me more about the ‘I AM statements’ of Christ Jesus. He instructed me to study the Gospel of John, since all the statements were to be found there. Reading the Gospel of John and with the help of the Internet, I filled the ‘I AM’ statement gaps of my study.[109]

Each of the seven ‘I AM names’ are found in the Gospel of John and each reveals some significant aspect of Christ, the Messiah. The fact that Christ Jesus also uses the words ‘I AM’ brings to light His oneness with His Father, YHWH Elohim![110]

•     I am the Bread of Life

Then Christ Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” And, “I am the bread of life.”

John 6:35, 48

•     I am the Light of the World

Then Christ Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

John 8:12

•     I am the Door

Then Christ Jesus said to them again, “Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.” And, “I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.”

John 10:7, 9

•     I am the Good Shepherd

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.”

John 10:11

•     I am the Resurrection and the Life

Christ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11:25, 26

•     I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life

Christ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

John 14:6

•     I am the True Vine

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.” And, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

John 15:1,5

I was blessed by this discovery. But I was in for another revelation. I read Mahesh Chavda’s book The Hidden Power of Healing Prayer[111] just before my thyroidectomy operation. Mahesh wrote about God as our Supreme Healer, mentioned in Exodus 15:26b, “I am the LORD who heals you”, and wrote “this phrase translates (to) one of the seven redemption or covenant names of God, Jehovah-Rapha.”

The seven I AM covenant names of God the Father - YHWH Elohim

And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” Moreover God said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to  the children of Israel: ‘The LORD God (YHWH Elohim) of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you. This is My name forever, and this is My memorial to all generations.’” (Emphasis added)

Exodus 3:14, 15

My eyes were yet opened again when I realized God the Father has seven ‘I AM’ (covenant/redemption) names too! Our Lord Jesus so often repudiated the Pharisees, His disciples (and us) in His Word for our inability to see the obvious, He said: “For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.”[112] I couldn’t believe that my eyes were closed to this wonderful spiritual truth for all these years. The Holy Spirit placed a strong desire in my heart to learn more about our LORD God’s precious seven names, as revealed in the Old Testament.

In the New Testament, our beloved Messiah made the seven covenant names of Father God real to us by ‘fusing’ it into one Word when He taught His disciples on how they should pray, “our Father in heaven.”[113] In Aramaic, the Lingua Franca of the time, the word ABBA, means Father – as in Hebrew! Through this wonderful prayer the full understanding of who our real LORD God is, became known. And by accepting and proclaiming Him as our Abba, or Father,[114] we become His sons and daughters and co-heirs of His kingdom, on earth, as it is in heaven!

We read about this wonderful New Covenant promise in Revelation: “... Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth. To Him who loved us and washed us of our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”[115] Also, Apostle Paul wrote to the gentile believers in Rome: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit Himself bears witness to our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.”[116]

The seven covenant names[117] of YHWH Elohim, God the Father, make His father heart tangible and real to us. I know that by meditating on the fullness of His Name, a new sense of awe and wonder for our Creator Father will arise.

•     I am YHWH-Yireh, your Provider

And Abraham called the name of the place, The- LORD-Will-Provide (KJV, Jehovahjireh); as it is said to this  day, “In the Mount of the LORD it shall be provided.”

Genesis 22:14

•     I am YHWH-Raphah, your Healer

“If you diligently heed the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the LORD who heals you.”

Exodus 15:26

•     I am YHWH-Nissi, your Banner

“And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. And Moses built an altar and called its name, The-LORD-Is-My-Banner (KJV, Jehovahnissi).”

Exodus 17:11, 15

•     I am YHWH-Ra-ah, your Shepherd

The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me”.

Psalms 23:1-4

•     I am YHWH-Shalom, your Peace

And the Angel of the LORD appeared to him, and said to him, “The LORD is with you, you mighty man of valor!”... Then the LORD turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?” Then the LORD said to him, “Peace[118] be with you; do not fear, you shall not die.”... so Gideon built an altar there to the LORD, and called it The-LORD-Is-Peace (KJV, Jehovahshalom).”

Judges 6:12, 14, 23 and 24a

•     I am YHWH-Tsidkenu, your Righteousness

“Behold, the days are coming,” says the LORD, “That I will raise to David a Branch of righteousness; a King shall reign and prosper, and execute judgment and righteousness in the earth. In His days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell safely; now this is His name by which He will be called: THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.”[119]

Jeremiah 23:5, 6

•     I am YHWH-Shammah, your Presence

“And the name of the city from that day shall be: THE LORD IS THERE.”[120]120

Ezekiel 48:35b

And as my mind dwelled on the ‘I AM names’ of Jesus Christ and the Father, the Holy Spirit spoke to me, this time almost audible: “My son, I am also I AM!” I started to pray, “beloved Holy Spirit, if  this is Your voice I am hearing, please give me the grace and  understanding to grasp and discover your SEVEN I AM names, too.”

The seven I AM prophetic names of the Holy Spirit – Ruach HaKodesh

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever – the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.

John 14:16, 17

In the last days of my season of spiritual awakening, I could hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh, in my inner man with such frequency and clarity that it sometimes startled me. I remember standing on the morning of 15 September 2006, just after my release from the isolation ward, in our kitchen next to the stove with a broken and contrite spirit. My prayers were more fervent than ever before “LORD, my wonderful LORD, please grace me with the gift of never failing to hear Your precious voice. Your Presence has sustained me through one of the hardest and most difficult winter seasons I have had to face, ever!” and I want to declare with Job that “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.”[121] All the suffering, hardships, and the locusts after locusts experiences of past seasons, paled into insignificance BECAUSE today “I can see You, LORD, I can hear Your voice!”

A wonderful Scripture that I came to love is Hebrews 11:6: “But without faith it is impossible to please Me, for he who comes to Me must believe that I AM, and that I AM a rewarder of those who diligently seek Me (paraphrased).” And on 22 September 2006, while reflecting on this Scripture, my eyes were opened. I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart: “My son, I am also I AM!”

Now I fully understood! There are seven I AM covenant names in the Old Testament given for the great I AM, YHWH Elohim! In the Gospel of John, there are seven ‘I AM names’ of Jesus Christ, Y’shua HaMashiach. And I there and then ‘knew’ there will be seven I AM names for the Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh, as well. Why? Because our Elohim God is one!

During the autumn and winter seasons I was overcome by an unquenchable thirst to drink and an insatiable hunger to eat the Word of God. As my love for the Word of God grew, so did my ability to memorize Scripture. The past heaviness has departed. And in the latter part of the spring season, with my flesh[122] barely hovering above my life-line, the LORD was able to break the last barrier and stronghold of my old self, my mind! Now, for the first time in my life my mind and body were unable to suppress the Voice of God!

And with my physiological body broken, and the chains of my mind no longer able to contain and control my spirit, I heard the sweet gentle voice of the Holy Spirit: “My son, I am also I AM!”

As I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit, my mind started to travel over the many wonderful insights God gave me of the Holy  Spirit  during the past couple of months – Indwelling Spirit of the great I AM; Revealer of the mind of Christ; Guide; Revealer of God’s secrets; Helper; Teacher; Hope Giver; Comforter; Wisdom Giver; Witness of heaven; Indwelling  Regulator; Advocate; Intercessor; Judge; Voice that calls ABBA Father; Convicter of sin; Spirit of discernment; Spirit of  understanding; Spirit of knowledge; Seal of our kingship and redemption; AND the Spirit HIMSELF!

Reflecting on the Holy Spirit’s wonderful and comforting names and character, I then knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that there will be seven I AM’s for the Holy Spirit in the Word of God. And on 22 September 2006 I started to write in my journal the seven ‘I AM names’ of the Holy Spirit; in the order the Holy Spirit guided me to do.

Confirmation of the seven Spirits of God mentioned in the Bible was given to me later that day by Robin Pinard from Revelation,[123] there “stood a Lamb as though it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent out into all the earth.” Christo Nel[124] also gave me a Scripture in Revelation that confirmed my belief: “And from the throne proceeded lightnings, thunderings, and voices. Seven lamps of fire were burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God.”[125]

It was also Christo Nel who told me where in the Bible I would find a description of seven Spirits. Yes, you have guessed it, in the Old Testament, and in Isaiah! “The Spirit of the LORD (1) shall rest upon Him, the Spirit of wisdom (2) and understanding (3), the Spirit of counsel (4) and might (5), the Spirit of knowledge (6) and of the fear of the LORD (7).”[126]

This Scripture served as a wonderful confirmation from the Word of God that the Holy Spirit has His seven I AM names, too! The following bulleted ‘I AM names’ are the seven I AM names the Holy Spirit guided me to write in my journal on 22 September 2006. The Scripture from Isaiah, which confirmed the revelation I received from the Holy Spirit, are in italics directly underneath each of the seven bulleted statements. Although not word-for-word exactly the same in all instances, the close resemblance thereof instilled in me the full belief in the reality of Holy Spirit and His passion to reveal God’s ‘secrets’ to us.

•     I am the Indwelling Spirit of ‘I AM’

The Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon Him

“Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.”

1 Corinthians 2:12

“I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.”

Ezekiel 36:27

•     I am the Spirit of Wisdom

The Spirit of wisdom

“But as it is written: ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.”

1 Corinthians 2:9, 10

“that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.”

Ephesians 1:17

•     I am the Spirit of Truth

The Spirit of understanding (the truth - my addition)

“the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”

John 14:17

“God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

John 4:24

“Consider what I say, and the Lord will give you the understanding in all things.”

2 Timothy 2:7

•     I am the Promised Helper, Advisor and Teacher

The Spirit of counsel

“And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever ... But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

John 14:16, 26

•     I am the Seal of Adoption and Redemption

The Spirit of might (authority/power/strength - paraphrased)

“Having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will ...  you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of Promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of our purchased possession, the praise of His glory.”

Ephesians 1:5, 13b and 14

“But you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.”

Romans 8: 15b-17

“So he answered and said to me: ‘This is the word of the LORD ... Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, ‘Says the LORD of hosts.”

Zechariah 4:6

•     I am the Reflector of God’s Glory (and Sovereignty)

The Spirit of the fear (reverence or awe - paraphrased) of the LORD

“I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me forever, for the good of them and their children after them.”

Jeremiah 32:39

“I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from Me.”

Jeremiah 32:40b

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the LORD, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the LORD.”

2 Corinthians 3:18

•     I am the Revealer of the Mind of Christ

The Spirit of knowledge

“For ‘who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him?’ But we have the mind of Christ.”

1 Corinthians 2:16

“... I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.”

Joel 2:28

After I made this last discovery I was overcome with awe for our Sovereign LORD who has touched and blessed me in this manner. I wept tears of joy while praising our wonderful ABBA, Y’shua and Holy Spirit! On 26 September 2006, I also heard the Holy Spirit instructing me: “Give Me a Name!” I know God uses names to bless, to separate, or to mandate us. Therefore, in line with God’s ancient ways, we must use names to bless, we must give our children and loved ones names of appreciation and love, and names that inspire, empower and bless! In obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit I gave Him a special name, and in my journal I wrote: Vlam van God se Heerlikheid, translated into English, ‘Flame of God’s Glory’.

I AM wants us to have a personal relationship with Him. When we pray to God, we must let the Holy Spirit guide our thoughts and reveal to us the Father’s heart and the mind of Christ! He wants to help us in our day-to-day walk with God and guide us to make, not just good decisions, but GOD decisions.

Power Verse

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God, must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

Reflection & Meditation

1.    The LORD has ‘introduced’ Himself in Exodus 3:4-6, 14 and 15 to Moses as “I am YHWH (the LORD) Elohim (God) … this is My name forever, and this is My memorial to all generations.” Reflect on the importance of this statement. Do you think there is any value in appreciating and proclaiming the LORD’s name (and those of Jesus and the Holy Spirit) in the Hebraic root context? Please motivate.

2.    Jesus said seven times in the Gospel of John, “I am …”, thereby accentuating His oneness with His Father - our Father in heaven. Which one of His seven ‘I am names’ do you feel is the most profound? Why?

3.    In Ephesians 1:13 and 14, Apostle Paul refers to the Holy Spirit as our ‘guarantee of our inheritance’. Does this mean that without the Holy Spirit, as our seal (pledge, guarantee), we will not receive eternal life? Read 2 Corinthians 1:21, 22 and Romans 8:15-17

4.    Make a list in your journal of all the names and descriptions of the Holy Spirit. Reflect and meditate on them, let it ‘infuse’ your spirit and soul, and thank and acknowledge Him for who He is … I AM!

5.    The Holy Spirit is a person presence - God dwelling in our midst (presence, Shammah), and has a name. What name will you give Him if He asks you: “Give Me a name?”

Chapter Twelve:

New Covenant

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony ... And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.

Revelation 12:11a and 1 John 5:11

Aalwyn Koppie revisited

Since leaving the isolation ward on 14 September 2006 and after  having started the dosage of small white hormone pills – my burden for the rest of my earthly life – I slowly but surely regained my strength. And it was with a sense of great excitement that I decided to visit Aalwyn Koppie, my favorite klein koppie (little hill), in the Mont Rochelle Mountain Reserve, again. It was on the koppie where I heard God’s precious voice, now almost a year ago, for the first time.

Spring has finally sprung and everywhere the fynbos was adorned with its finest colors and fragrances. The Du Toit’s River, far down below in the ravine, sang with an ode of joy after the recent rain and snow. The mountains were rejoicing and worshipping – birds, insects, and the two little brown lizards within touching distance of me, were in a playful and frivolous mood.

I shared their new enthusiasm, joys and expectations. The LORD has been good, my heart rejoiced!

My new season, only dimly recognizable four weeks ago, unfolded under the direction of the Invisible Hand with an urgency, clarity and precision that astounded me. Yes, God always had a plan for my life – He was just waiting for me to come home ... to the realization that life is not about me, but about Him!

Through His grace I became a beneficiary of the acceptable year of the LORD and a beneficiary of His New Covenant:

He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to  Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.

Ephesians 1: 4-7

The night before His crucifixion, Christ Jesus instituted the Holy Communion[127] for us to remember Him as the one who established the New Covenant.[128] When partaking of the elements in the Spirit and guided by the Spirit, we become one with Christ, making us kings and priests to His God and Father. In sharing in His victory over death we are equipped with the power and knowledge to rebuke and banish the evil one, whose only mission is to steal, corrupt and destroy. And by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of my testimony I become more than a conqueror[129] through Him that loved me!

*******

The Holy Communion is such a powerful, wonderful and blessed sacrament and by partaking of the elements we also decree the New Covenant. In Revelation Christ Jesus, the source of the New Covenant, proclaims: “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son.”[130]

Yes, I know there will be times in this earthly life that I will stumble, yes, there will be times that I will lose faith, yes, there will be times I will find myself in the ‘valley of affliction’, yes, there will be times when I may wander off from ‘the way, and the truth, and the life’, but one thing I am very certain of, my Father will always welcome me back – He is the LORD of second chances. He knows the human heart, because in Christ Jesus, He was also human and therefore He knows (and has commiseration with) our fears, temptations, disappointments, and frustrations. Fortunately, He has left us with a promise: “I will not leave your orphans ... but I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever”.[131] With the help and guidance of the ‘Flame of God’s Glory’ we “can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens us.”[132]

On that beautiful day on the koppie, overcame by emotion, I recalled the past season, I took the bread, and after praising God for His kindness and grace in my life, I recited the words of Christ Jesus, as He directed us to do at the Last Supper: “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same manner I took the wine, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often (in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer - my addition), as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord Jesus Christ’s death (and resurrection – my addition) till He comes.[133]

And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely. And ... He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming quickly.” Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus![134]

May I bless you, my dear brother and sister in Christ Jesus, our Savior, with the promise and expectation of God’s wonderful blessing He taught His faithful prophet, Moses, on how we should bless His people:[135]

May the LORD bless you and keep you. May the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the LORD lift up His face upon you and give you His SHALOM! Amen.

Power Verse

And when He had given thanks, He broke it (bread) and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same manner He also took the cup (wine) after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”

1 Corinthians 11:24, 25

Reflection & Meditation

1.    The metaphor ‘season’ is wonderfully described by Solomon: “To everything there is as season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Read Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8. God wants us to live in expectation for the new season He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 5:3-5). Reflect for a moment on past spiritual seasons. Now in faith, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you your new season.

2.    God has a very specific plan for your life. As with Isaiah (6:8), He is now saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Have you heard His voice? Where do you fit into the ‘body’ of Christ – what is your new song or calling?

3.    Jesus instructed His disciples to ‘often eat/break bread and drink from the cup’ in remembrance of Him. List in your journal also nine other deep spiritual significant reasons for doing so. Read Isaiah 53:5; Matthew 26:26-28; John 6:35, 51 and 53-56; 1 Corinthians 10:16, 17 and 11:23-26; and Revelation 12:11

Epilogue

Keeping the Beginning and End in sight

I listened to the waves thundering on the white sandy beach, felt the Indian Ocean’s fresh sea-breeze on my face, and watched the sun rise over Kassies Bay’s beautiful turquoise waters, hidden behind a coldish cloudy October sky. Less than a mile from where I sat on a sand dune, two Southern Right whales with their calves glided effortlessly past a rocky outcrop on the coastline.

Again I can live life – appreciate beautiful vistas, find joy in the laughter of my children, and enjoy the company of family and friends. Let us remember that, in all circumstances, the most effective prayer is to praise and worship our great I AM!

Seeing the beauty of nature all around me, my thoughts turned to Psalm 103 and with David, the psalmist, I proclaimed the wondrous glory and loving-kindness of our Creator – the Beginning and End[136] of all.

The final storyline is written, I have discovered the Promise. Now I can look forward, without fear, to new seasons because the Promise will guide, instruct and comfort me. This past season has taught me so much about the Promise and the Promise Giver. My prayer is that my story has inspired you to invite – in faith, hope and love – the Promise of the Promise Giver into your life. He is there waiting for you to take the next step – the ever present Spirit of I AM. Why not invite Him now so that He may abide in you forever.

In conclusion, let our testimony together proclaim the King of Glory, the great I AM – ABBA Father, the resurrected Messiah, and the Flame of God’s Glory!

SOLI DEO GLORIA

Flame of God’s Glory

Open my mind to Your all sufficient thought

Open my mouth to confess, pray and bless

Touch my tongue to speak hope, praise and forgiveness

Touch my lips to proclaim the salvation so dearly bought

Open my ear to the joyful cheer of Your creation

Open my eye to see our fellow sojourner’s pain

Touch my heart with the warmth of Your precious flame

Touch my nose to smell the pure and right intention

May Your flame forever be my life’s story

May Your flame be reflected in my being, in my face

May Your flame be revealed in power and in grace

May Your flame forever be the Flame of God’s Glory

19 October 2006

Prayer for Revelation and Protection of the Saints

“YHWH El Shaddai (LORD God Almighty),[137] who was and is and is to come, You are holy, holy, holy![138] You are worthy, O YHWH (LORD), to receive all the honor, the glory, the respect and the power – for You have created all, and because of Your great desire they are and were created![139]

ABBA Father,[140] we ask you in the name of Your Son, Y’shua Messiah (Jesus Christ),[141] our First Love,[142] to guide us today with your precious Spirit. Beloved Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), please anoint us and fill us with Your truth[143] so that we can walk in righteousness and equipped with the mind of Elohim (God). Anoint us with Your wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge and with the fear of YHWH (the LORD).[144]

Precious ‘Flame of God’s Glory’,[145] please equip us with the complete armor of Elohim (God) so that we can withstand the deceiver and his schemes.[146] ABBA Father, through Your amazing grace and by faith,[147] we put on –

•     The belt of truth;

•     The breastplate of righteousness;

•     The shoes to proclaim the gospel of peace;

•     The shield of faith;

•     The helmet of salvation; and

•     The sword of the Spirit, the WORD of Elohim (God).[148]

We pray for ‘the peace of Jerusalem’.[149] We pray for the protection of Your saints,[150] the widows, orphans and destitute.[151] We pray for the spreading of the Good News and for revival amongst the nations.[152] We pray this prayer in the Spirit,[153] with the understanding[154]and in the name of Y’shua Messiah (Jesus Christ), our Savior. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.”[155]

ALL IN A SEASON tells the story of one man’s earnest search for God’s Father Heart. It celebrates the love our Heavenly Father has for each of us on our own spiritual journey. We travel the road with Dawid Malherbe through his spiritual season as he discovers the power of the Holy Spirit and the seven I AM names of God. As a self-confessed skeptic, Dawid’s life is transformed when he hears the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.

ALL IN A SEASON also reveals spiritual truths about:

• Establishing the family unit

• Recognizing God’s voice

• The circle of faith

• Being salt of the earth

• The Holy Spirit within, the Holy Spirit upon

• The precious ‘I AM names’ of the Father, Son and Spirit

• God’s acceptable year

• The meaning of God’s Hebraic names and their spiritual and symbolical significance for today’s believer

DAWID J. MALHERBE is a Chartered Marketer living in Franschhoek (South Africa) with his wife and two daughters. His passions are the great outdoors, good company, good coffee, good food and the Good Book.

[1] Psalm 19:14

[2] It should be noted that we are not saved (i.e. receiving everlasting life and God’s ‘sure’ mercies) by simply reciting the sinner’s prayer; we are saved by grace and through faith (John 3:16 and Ephesians 2:8). Therefore, if we confess our sins with a sincere, humble and repentant heart and by faith accept Jesus as the Messiah, the Son of the living God (Matthew 16:16), we are saved and become recipients of God’s indwelling Presence, the Holy Spirit. The following Scripture is quite clear on this important matter: Acts 2:37, 38: Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do (to be saved – my addition)?” Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ of the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Acts 16:30, 31 “… Sirs, what must we do to be saved?” So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Acts 22:16 “And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.” Romans 10:9 “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” 1 John 1:7b, 9 “and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin … if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Matthew 10:32 “Therefore whoever confess Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.” Read also Luke’s account (Luke 23:39-43) of the repentant criminal that was hanged on the cross next to Jesus Christ.

[3] John 17:17

[4] John 1:1-5,12 and 14-18

[5] Eldredge, John (2001). Wild at Heart, Thomas Nelson Inc., Nashville, Tennessee, p.137.

[6] Nee, Watchman (1972). The Latent Power of the Soul, Christian Fellowship Publishers Inc., New York, pp. 81-83.

[7] 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10

[8] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fynbos; Fynbos is the natural shrub land vegetation occurring in a small belt of the Western Cape of South Africa, mainly in winter rainfall coastal and mountainous areas with a Mediterranean climate.

[9] Pronounced, ‘dah-vee’; Dawie is a derivative of the name Dawid or David, meaning ‘beloved’.

[10] It was during my autumn season that God has dispelled all the fears I had regarding my family’s safety. He made it very clear to me that He wanted my heart, and that He was not going to hurt my family in any way to make me obedient to His will (for my life). Read Micah 6:7, 8.

[11] John 13:34

[12] Robin Pinard has an End time Internet ministry. Visit www.thefinalword.co.za to learn more about his ministry.

[13] Galatians 4:6,7

[14] Psalm 40:3

[15] You can read Angus Buchan’s life story in his book Faith like Potatoes which was also made into a wonderful and inspiring movie (released in October 2006), with similar name.

[16] John 4:2

[17] De Kom (The Basin) and Vredevol (Peaceful) were the two neighboring farms I managed on a part-time basis. Petra inherited the De Kom farm from her mother who died of Alzheimer’s disease on 15 August 1999.

[18] Namaqualand stretching for 600 miles up the West Coast of Africa and covering an area of 440,000 km2 (275,000 mi2) is known for its beautiful variety of flowers in early spring after receiving winter rains, temporarily changing this barren landscape into a feast for the senses. For the rest of the year, it is a dry, hostile and barren semi-desert area.

[19] Joel 2:19

[20] Joel 2:28

[21] Acts 19:3-6

[22] Matthew 28:19 and Romans 6:3-5

[23] In Romans 7:18-24 Paul mentioned that a ‘law’, almost like the law of gravity (according to Watchman Nee), governs human  nature: “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Fortunately, Paul also tells us how to overcome this law of the flesh in Romans 7:25 and 8:2: “I thank God – through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.” and “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”

[24] Chambers, Oswald (2000). My Utmost for the Highest, Christian Art Publishers, Vereeniging, 3’rd Edition, 13 August.

[25] 1 Kings 19:12b

[26] Romans 8:14-17b; Ephesians 1:4, 5; and Galatians 4:4-7

[27] 2 Corinthians 3:5,6: “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”

[28] Rhema is an intuitive understanding that a particular Scripture verse or passage has immediate application to a current circumstance, even though in context in the Bible it may have nothing at all to do with the topic of the circumstance. Such rhema words are sought after to give daily guidance to the life of the Christian. (www.biblestudy.org/ beginner/definition-of-christian-terms/rhema.html)

[29] Or Old and New Testament, however the author prefers to use ‘Covenant’ since the word made the two main themes of our Scriptures more real to him. Because, YHWH has made a Covenant with Abraham that He renewed through Christ Jesus in order to ensure salvation for all peoples (Hebrews 7, 10, 11 and 13).

[30] 1 Samuel 1:19a; Psalm 5:3; 63:1; Song of Solomon 7:12; and Mark 1:35

[31] 2 Samuel 6:14, 15, 21 and 22

[32] Matthew 5:3, 5 and 8

[33] Exodus 20:5 and 34:14

[34] Jeremiah 33:3

[35] Ezekiel 37:2b-4

[36] 1 John 5:7

[37] Hebrews 13:8

[38] Acts 1:8

[39] Visit Johan’s online art gallery at www.johansmith.co.za to view his beautiful paintings.

[40] Proverbs 3:5-10

[41] John 10:11, 14

[42] John 14:6

[43] Joshua 24:15b

[44] Chavda, Mahesh (2003). The Hidden Power of Speaking in Tongues, Destiny Image, Shippenburg, PA.

[45] With his extraordinary knowledge of the Scriptures (Bible), his unfailing faith in Christ Jesus and his Spirit filled life, Watchmen Nee was able to teach on this topic that was untainted and untouched by church dogma. To learn more about the indwelling and out dwelling of the Holy Spirit, it is advised to read The Communion of the Holy Spirit as well as many of the other writings of Nee.

[46] Nee, Watchman (1994). The Communion of the Holy Spirit, Christian Fellowship Publishers Inc., New York, p. 55.

[47] Nee, Watchman (1977). The Spiritual Man, Christian Fellowship Publishers Inc. New York, volume II, p. 24.

[48] John 15:26 and Galatians 5:22-23

[49] Acts 2:1-4; 1 Corinthians 12:1-13, 28-31; and Ephesians 4:11-13

[50] Nee, Watchman (1994). The Communion of the Holy Spirit, Christian Fellowship Publishers Inc. New York, pp. 60-64.

[51] Stellenbosch is a beautiful and historic university town with oak-lined streets and fine Cape-Dutch architecture.

[52] Luke 4:6; John 12:31, 14:30 and 16:11; 2 Corinthians 4:4; Ephesians 2:1,2; 1 John 5:19; and Revelation 12:10

[53] John 3:16

[54] This was not his real surname. I used Schumann as a pseudonym for the Professor.

[55] Jeremiah 29:11

[56] James 4:7-10

[57] Habakkuk 3:17,18

[58] Psalm 103 (NLT)

[59] With the prescribed dosage, on average it takes approximately 7 days (in some cases up to 14 days) for the radio-active rays to become harmless to other individuals. The period of isolation is determined by how the patient’s body deals with the radiation therapy. The speed with which my body dealt with the very high level of radiation was, I believe, given my age and dosage received, a real miracle – 4 days (Monday to Thursday), but in actuality only 3 x 24hour days, Monday 1pm to Thursday 1pm!

[60] The sensation I have experienced, according to Doctor Morkel, the nuclear medical physicist responsible for my thyroid scintigram tests, were “highly improbable

[61] Psalm 103:1-5

[62] Romans 4:17b

[63] Exodus 19:6; 1 Corinthians 14:1,3 and 5; 1Peter 2:9; and Revelation 1:9 and 5:10

[64] 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5:22-33 and 6:1-9

[65] Joshua 24:15b

[66] Joshua 1:5, 8 and 9

[67] Numbers 14:30,31

[68] Luke 4:17-19 and Isaiah 61:1-2a

[69] Genesis 3:5

[70] Galatians 5:22-23

[71] The thyroid gland has an effect on every cell in the body by controlling the rate with which they use energy and oxygen – the body’s metabolic rate. Therefore, a healthy and normal person can live for approximately 6-8 weeks without his/her thyroid gland (without hormone replacement therapy) before the body slowly comes to a ‘standstill’ - eventually ending in a coma and death. At this specific point in time, and in line with the prescribed treatment for my specific condition, I was without my thyroid gland for 4 1/2 weeks and without any hormones for 4 weeks. Thereby experiencing all the physical, mental and emotional symptoms of a person whose body is going into a ‘shut-down’ mode. Read more on the function and importance of the thyroid gland on http://healthmad.com/conditions-and-diseases/can-you-survive-without-a-thyroid-gland/

[72] Please note that the order is significant. The world teaches us a ‘mirror image’ of the truth: body, mind and spirit! God’s Word teaches us ... first the spirit, secondly the mind (soul) and only then the body.

[73] Isaiah 55:3 and Hebrews 4:12

[74] Matthew 5:13-16 and Luke9:49,50

[75] 2 Timothy 4:2

[76] Romans 8:1

[77] John 4:14

[78] Matthew 5:23, 24

[79] Matthew 6:9-13

[80] Matthew 6:33

[81] Hebrews 11:23-29

[82] Deuteronomy 11:13, 14 and 30:19, 20a

[83] James 1:27

[84] 1 Timothy 5:8

[85] 1 John 4:21

[86] John 13:35

[87] Matthew 5:44, 45 and 48; Luke 6:27-38

[88] Romans 8:2

[89] Hebrews 11:6

[90] Hebrews 11:1

[91] Ecclesiastes 5:19 and James 1:17

[92] 2 Corinthians 3:5

[93] Proverbs 3:9

[94] Malachi 3:10

[95] Luke 18:18-23

[96] Matthew 6:24

[97] Genesis 19:26

[98] Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 16:1-13; and Proverbs 13:22

[99] Titus 1:2 and Numbers 23:19,20

[100] Ephesians 1:13b,14

[101] Galatians 4:5-7; Romans 8:15; and Ephesians 1:5

[102] Matthew 7:7-11; Luke 11:9-13; John 14:13,14; 15:7,16 and 16:23,24; and Colossians 3:17

[103] Greek name, Khristós; Hebrew name, HaMashiach (Messiah) – meaning the Anointed. The word ‘Christian’ is derived from the name Christ and is given to the followers of Jesus.

[104] Greek name, Iesous; Hebrew name, Y’shua, Yahshua or Yeshua a shortened form of Yehoshua (Joshua) or Yahushua – meaning YHWH (the LORD) is Salvation, He is Salvation or Salvation.

[105] Greek name, Jehovah; Hebrew name, YHWH - pronounced Yahweh, Yahuweh or Yahuwah – Self-existing One. Unfortunately, in the NKJV and many other translations, the ‘title’ LORD is used instead of His real name, YHWH. The name YHWH speaks of His strength, sovereignty and goodness. It means ‘self-existing’, one who never came into being, and one who always will be. (Definition obtained from: Dr. Adrian Rogers, Love Worth Finding Ministries, Names of God.)

[106] Greek name, Parakletos; Hebrew name, Ruach HaKodesh. Ruach meaning Breath (of God), and HaKodesh, Holy. It also translates to Holy Spirit, or Set-apart Spirit.

[107] The word seven is found 735 times in the Bible. The Word of God is founded upon the number seven. There are also seven spiritual feast days of our YHWH, clustered in three seasonal Spiritual Festivals – Spring, early Summer and Autumn, read more about it in Exodus 23:15, 16 and Leviticus 23:1-44. Spring: 1. Passover (Pesach); 2. Unleavened Bread (Matzah); 3. First-fruits (Bikkurim); Early Summer: 4. Feast of Weeks – Pentecost (Shavuot); and Autumn: 5. Day of Blowing – Trumpets (Yom Teruah); 6. Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur); and 7. Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot).

[108] Greek name, Theos; Hebrew name, Elohim - meaning Mighty One.

The name is not singular but plural – we! Genesis 1:26a reads: “Then God (Elohim) said, ‘let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.’” Read also John 17 and 1 John 5:7 regarding God’s oneness.

[109] www.foundationsforfreedom.net/References/NT/Gospels/John/ John00_I_Am-Power.html

[110] John 10:30

[111] Chavda, Mahesh (2005). The Hidden Power of Healing Prayer, Destiny Image, Shippenburg, PA.

[112] John 9:39

[113] Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4

[114] Deuteronomy 32:6b; Isaiah 63:16; 64:8; Romans 8:15; Galatians  4:6; and Ephesians 1:3,17; 2:18 and 5:20

[115] Revelation 1:5, 6

[116] Romans 8:14-17a

[117] Although many students and teachers of the Scriptures have identified many other names for God, such as Adonai, Attiyq Youm, El Olam, El Roi, El Shaddai, etc. – 72 in total. However, the author wishes to stay with those described in ALL IN A SEASON – the names of YHWH, or, the LORD. The seven ‘I AM names’ of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are fairly well documented and easily found in the Scriptures; unfortunately this is not the case with the names of YHWH. The author feels the seven names mentioned in ALL IN A SEASON should be fairly representative of the seven ‘I AM names’ of YHWH, if identified by a Spirit-filled scholar of the Scriptures.

[118] When God says “I am YHWH-Shalom”, He also means, “I am your completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, and harmony.” Read more about shalom on: www.therefinersfire.org/meaning_of_ shalom.htm

[119] The name expresses the wonderful promise of Y’shua HaMashiach, our salvation and the coming Kingdom.

[120] The LORD will forever dwell in our midst and be ever present in our lives through the Holy Spirit, which will dwell with and in us. Read also Haggai 2:5b “... My Spirit is remaining in your midst.”

[121] Job 42:5

[122] Paul referred to ‘flesh’ in Romans 8:1, meaning our intellectual and physical dimension.

[123] Revelation 5:6b. Confirmation can also be found from the Old Testament about the seven Spirits – read Zechariah 4:10

[124] Please visit www.nuwewyn.co.za to learn more about Christo Nel’s ministry.

[125] Revelation 4:5

[126] Isaiah 11:2

[127] Matthew 26:26-28; Mark 14:22-26; and Luke 22:14-20

[128] Hebrews 12:23b, 24a: “… to God the Judge of all, to the spirits  of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling …”

[129] Romans 8:37

[130] Revelation 21:6,7

[131] John 14:18a, 16

[132] Philippians 4:13

[133] 1 Corinthians 11:24-26

[134] Revelation 22:17,20

[135] Numbers 6:24-26

[136] Revelation 1:8; 21:6 and 22:13

[137] The names used in this prayer are from The Scriptures (2007, Institute for Scripture Research, Northriding, RSA) thus in its original Hebraic context. The meaning of El Shaddai is God Almighty or the Father-Mother God, the ALL-Sufficient One (Oswald Chambers). Genesis 17:1 and Revelation 4:8

[138] Revelation 4:8

[139] Revelation 4:11

[140] Deuteronomy 32:6b; Isaiah 63:16 and 64:8; Matthew 6:9;  Luke 6:2; Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6; and Ephesians 1:3, 17; 2:18 and 5:20

[141] John 14:13, 14; 15:16; 16:23, 24 and 26; and Colossians 3:17

[142] Revelation 2:4

[143] John 14:16,17

[144] Isaiah 11:2

[145] As revealed to the author on page 136.

[146] Ephesians 6:11

[147] Ephesians 2:8

[148] Ephesians 6:14-17

[149] Genesis 12:3; Psalm 122:6,7; Isaiah 62:6,7; Zechariah 12:3; and Romans 10:1-4

[150] Ephesians 6:18b,19

[151] James 1:27 and Deuteronomy 10:16-19; 15:11 and 26:7

[152] Matthew 28:18-20 and Mark 16:15-18,20

[153] Ephesians 6:18a

[154] 1 Corinthians 14:15

[155] Matthew 6:13

Table of Contents

Author’s Note

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Prologue

Part I: Summer - Renewing My Faith

Chapter One: Farmer versus Farmer

Chapter Two: Is it Really You God?

Chapter Three: Fulfill All Righteousness

Part II: Autumn - I Want Your Heart

Chapter Four: Hidden Valley

Chapter Five: Green Cathedral

Chapter Six: Holy Spirit

Part III: Winter - Cancer

Chapter Seven: Papillary Carcinoma

Chapter Eight: Thyroidectomy

Chapter Nine: Radiation

Part IV: Spring – King of Glory

Chapter Ten: Awakening

Chapter Eleven: Seven I AM Names

Chapter Twelve: New Covenant

Epilogue

Flame of God’s Glory

Prayer for Revelation and Protection of the Saints