Thank you for purchasing

“God’s Remedy for

Transforming

Stress into Rest”

Contact me with your questions, comments, challenges, and success stories:

amy@hagerup.org

©2013 Amy Hagerup

AmyHagerup.com

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The information contained in this book is the opinion of the author and is for informational and inspirational purposes only. Every attempt has been made to verify sources, and the author does not assume any responsibility for any errors, omissions, or inaccuracies. Any slights of people or organizations are unintentional. Quoted scripture is from the New International Version (NIV). This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. Contact your medical professional for all health and mental issue concerns.

Hi there! My name is Amy Hagerup and I am so glad you bought this book on how to transform the stress in your life to the rest that only God can give. Having lived in Africa as a missionary for 23 years, worked at a liberal college campus for four years, stood alongside my husband when he pastored a church in the area of missions for five years, and now living a life of serving others while making an income - - you can imagine, involves a lot of different stresses!

Whatever stresses are you in your life (and we all have them to varying degrees) can be turned into a life of peace and rest – despite those stresses. You will learn how in this book.

I’m looking forward to sharing with you the truths God has revealed to me to live a life of rest amidst the ups and downs of everyday life. After you finish this book, you too will be able to make God’s rest a daily choice.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Scary Mule Ride

Chapter 2: Stress Affects the Whole Person

Chapter 3: Identify Your Stressors

Chapter 4: Eight Unhealthy Responses to Stress

Chapter 5: Cruel “Task-Masters”

Chapter 6: Replacing “Task-Master” with “God-Master”

Chapter 7: Commanded Sabbath Rest

Chapter 8: Delightful Surrendered Rest

Chapter 9: Amazing Key to God’s Rest

Chapter 10: Nine Practical steps for Transforming Stress into Rest

Chapter 11: Bringing it home: From Stress to Rest God’s Way

Personal Worksheet

Chapter 1: A Scary Mule Ride

My husband, Mark, and I began our married life together as missionaries in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is a beautiful, mountainous country. At one point, we lived in Waka where we could only come in and out of our station by a small airplane – or a two day mule trip! There were no car roads into Waka.

Figure 1: photo by Alicia Bramlett

One of my husband’s roles there was to teach and preach at outlying villages. He had to make treks into the surrounding mountains to do so. On one such trek, I went with him.

He had never been to this particular area before. Our trek involved walking some of the time and riding mules we had hired the rest of the time. Trekking through the mountains were breath-taking. There was absolutely no litter, no billboards – just God’s beautiful creation all around us. Mark’s treks were usually 2 or 3 days in length – this one was 3 days one-way. We had Ethiopians from our home area traveling with us.

When evening time would come, we would stop at a local church to set up our sleeping bags for the night.

Women from the church would soon be preparing food for their unexpected visitors over open fires. African hospitality is so delightful. We were the recipients of it many, many times.

Figure 2: My personal photo of us on a trek in Ethiopia!

Back to my story.

As we were high up on one mountain, I noticed that the path was getting narrower and narrower. To my right was the side of the mountain – almost straight down. To my left was the mountain straight up. It was like I was on the side of a cliff, with a solid mass of mountain on one side, and an abyss of empty space descending what looked like a mile on the other side.

While riding my mule along this path carved into the side of the mountain, I could tell the path was getting narrower and narrower. To say I was scared would be an understatement. I was petrified!

But things got exponentially worse when I saw a few yards ahead of me that rain had washed out the path entirely. There was about a yard width of no path and the mule would have to jump. I wanted to get off, but the path wasn’t wide enough for both me and the mule. I wanted to turn around but that also wasn’t an option. I cried out to my husband who was behind me, and he said, “Just hold on, Amy. The mule knows what to do. He can jump the stretch better than you can.”

So I held on and jump we did.

And…I was safe.

I am wondering if that is what your life feels like right now with the stress that is on you. Do you feel it so keenly, but also feel powerless to change it like I felt on that mule?

Like the photo on the cover, your life “tree” feels like the side with the bare branches on it. Cold. Dry. No leaves. No fruit.

I hope that this book will transform your “tree” to the right side image with a life full of rich foliage, giving shade to others, and bearing fruit in every good work.

My prayer is that you will know how to transform your stress into rest by following God’s remedy.

Figure 3: photo by showmeone

Chapter 2: Stress Affects the Whole Person

The dictionary meaning of the word stress is: special significance; special emphasis; to put emphasis on. Only one of the meanings is negative – pressure or strain. Stress affects every one of us, and a fruitful life depends on effective skills for handling stress well. Stress is a normal part of life…only when it becomes overwhelming does it become destructive.

Having said that, though, we must consider the reality that stress affects the whole person: emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, and mentally. Every single aspect of our being is affected by stress.

We can see this illustrated clearly in Psalm 31: 9 – 12. Let’s take a look at it.

A. Emotional Affect

9 “Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;

my eyes grow weak with sorrow,

my soul and body with grief.” (NIV)

In verse 9, we see a lot of emotional words: distress, weak with sorrow, consumed by grief. Can you identify? Some big disappointment? Great loss? Unfair accusation?

One of my daughters recently found out that her current job was going to end in a few months. Her emotions were overpowering her as she began to put out her resumes. She would cry at the drop of the hat. The stress affected her emotionally.

B. Spiritual Affect

The latter part of the verse states that his soul has grown weak with grief. Our soul is who we are spiritually. And his soul was grieving. When our soul isn’t right, everything is off kilter.

Ever feel like God isn’t hearing your prayers? Are you ever tempted to think God stopped caring about you? A good friend and his wife went through injustices at his workplace, had to leave their home unsold, and lived with relatives for nine months. Spiritually, they were in a desert – waiting for God to bring them water again.

Are you in a desert right now too?

C. Physical Affect

10 “My life is consumed by anguish

and my years by groaning;

my strength fails because of my affliction,

and my bones grow weak.” (NIV)

Now we hear some physical symptoms in verse 10: strength and energy is gone, feeling of weakness prevails, and sounds of groaning are identified as happening for years. How’s your energy level? Do you feel weak and want to sleep a lot? Physical response to stress is very real. Depression can set in. When I am under a stressful relationship, I find it difficult to eat. A pastor friend of mine says, “Don’t let this (problem) eat your lunch.” Very poignant, I’d say.

D. Social Affect

11 “Because of all my enemies,

I am the utter contempt of my neighbors

and an object of dread to my closest friends—

those who see me on the street flee from me.

12 I am forgotten as though I were dead;” (NIV)

In these two verses (11 & 12a), we turn to the social aspect of the stresses. The psalmist feels contempt from neighbors, dread from his friends who are avoiding him, and even totally forgotten as though he had died in their eyes. Social stresses weigh upon you.

Have you ever noticed someone making a quick turn behind a clothes rack in the store to avoid greeting you? Were you left off of the guest list of a friend’s party? It hurts, doesn’t it?

Figure 4: photo by public energy

E. Mental Affect

12b “I have become like broken pottery.” (NIV)

And finally, in the second part of verse 12, we feel his mental stress when he states he feels like broken pottery.

Brokenness is a descriptive way to describe your mental state.

Do you feel broken beyond repair? Have the stresses in your life caused you to break? It’s interesting that our society refers to this type of feeling as a mental breakdown.

Or maybe you have experienced a situation where a person you love very much didn’t believe in you or threw cold water on your dreams and plans. When this happened to me recently, I felt like something inside of me broke that day. How about you?

Can you relate?

The Psalmist has given a great explanation that stress is not only physical or mental.

Stress affects your whole person.

Chapter 3: Identify Your Stressors

Stop and think for a minute about what is stressing you. Write it down.

Is it a medical concern for you or someone you love?

Is it a family stress with strain in your marriage or difficulty with a rebellious child?

Or is it job-related where you don’t feel appreciated or are being taken advantage of?

Ever been falsely accused or misrepresented?

Or perhaps it is financial – too much month left over after the end of the money?

Another biggie is difficulty in a relationship – someone who has wronged you or who just rubs you the wrong way?

Maybe it is plain busyness – too much to do and not enough time.

Of course, it is not just one thing because our lives are multi-faceted. Make your own list and write them all down. I’ll wait for you.

Did you get them listed?

Stop and write a few more. Think about different aspects of your life: spiritual, mental, physical, social, emotional, financial, family, extended family, friends or lack of them, neighbors, work, etc.

The first step to solving a problem is to recognize it for what it is. So this step is very important.

Life is very frustrating sometimes. You are frustrated and overwhelmed with all that you are expected to do and have to do.

You are frustrated from stress at work and at home. You are many times frustrated from being overly tired from the lack of a good night’s sleep. So many people expect so much of us.

There’s a surprise car repair bill and a whiny three year old that requires your constant energy. You have this medical problem plaguing you and someone you love dearly is not choosing to follow God in his life.

You have a paper due next week and the toilet is leaking.

How do you find God’s rest amidst our 21st century stressed lives?

One of Satan’s tactics to keep you from being the obedient disciple you need to be is keeping you overly-busy. You can be too busy with “good” things too.

Before a doctor can prescribe treatment for you, he has to find out your symptoms. He then spends time making blood tests, x-rays, or whatever is needed to find out what the causes of your symptoms are.

In the same way, to address your stress adequately, you first have to identify the stressors. (See worksheet at the end for ideas.)

Chapter 4: Eight Unhealthy Responses to Stress

Figure 5: photo by Amy Hagerup

A common denominator in people’s lives today is stress, but many people have responses to stress that are unhealthy. And really, we all tend toward our default responses to stress that are generally selfish, defensive, sinful - well, you get the picture.

If you go into the woods and find a sapling about 10 feet tall, you will find that if you bend it and hold it there for a few minutes, it will totally bounce back into its upright position when you let it go.

But if you bend it and hold it for a long time, and then bend it some more, and then some more, it will eventually break.

When you let it go, it won’t bounce back – it is broken.

This is what stress and overload activities can do to our lives if we don’t learn how to let the “tree” bounce back.

Let’s look at responses to stress that don’t work.

1.        Escape: This is the response that in short means “I’m out of here!” My dad used this coping mechanism when he deserted our family when I was ten years old. He literally changed his name, took our one car, left the state, and we didn’t see him again for years. His response to the stress of four little kids and the pressures of work life was to run-away!

2.       Over-indulging in something: You automatically default to thinking of this category as either being drinking or eating to assuage your stressful feelings. And, yes, those are definitely big in a lot of people’s lives.

But over-indulging can also include other things like shopping, working, preoccupation with sex or beauty or fitness, applause, achievement, etc. Do any of these resonate with you?

I know that if I experience someone being harsh with me, I will (more times than I like to admit) resort to having some chocolate.

3.       Deer-in-headlights syndrome: Sometimes a coping mechanism will result in you just going numb and going about tasks automatically. It puts you in a “functioning” mode but not a “healthy-living” mode at all.

You pick up the baby and feed her when she cries, but you are just going through motions automatically.

Inside, you are crying and need someone to pick you up and comfort you instead. But either no one knows or no one cares and you feel all alone.

4.       Attack others: Too often mature adults will resort to criticizing, making snide remarks, or gossiping about someone else when, in fact, they are under stress about something totally separate from the person they are attacking.

It’s the not-so-comical syndrome of dad having a bad performance review at work and then coming home to tell his wife that she never makes a good supper for him. So then the mom yells at junior for leaving his soccer shoes in the middle of the hallway, and junior kicks the dog.

These are perfect examples of attacking others to cope with stress.

5.       Change circumstances: Stress in relationships can be so overpowering that it can make a person want to change that circumstance. This could result in changing locations, leaving a job, getting a divorce, and other major life-changing decisions.

Sometimes this can be appropriate, but the truth of the matter is that this might not be the response that is needed. When my daughter experienced some racism at school, I immediately wanted to pull her out and put her in another school.

The wiser response, however, was to address the problem with the student involved, the school authorities, and with my daughter to help her learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way – not just change her circumstances. I suppose that is similar to the first one of “escape” that I mentioned.

I have read that you should never make a life-changing decision when you are under stress.

6.       Gutting it out: Sometimes a person’s learned-response is to just take the lumps – just endure it. But like waves, it keeps coming and the stress is not being resolved. There certainly is no rest for their hurting spirit.

This is evident in the sad stories of women being abused by their spouse. They stay in the situation thinking that perhaps he will change… or maybe they deserve the abuse…or some other unhealthy thinking patterns. They just “gut it out.”

7.       Becoming violent: Road rage, gang murders, child abuse, or even a lesser form like slamming a door are all harmful coping strategies for handling stress. In fact, the attempt to cope with stress in a violent way actually results in more stress for others involved or present. This might be the most harmful of all responses.

8.       Avoidance: Some of you respond to stress with avoidance. Just sweep it under the rug. Avoid the issue. Ignore it. And it will go away. But that sick feeling in your stomach doesn’t go away. This is a dangerous, unhealthy response to stress.

What are your default responses to stress? Which of these are you guilty of?

Did you have a moment of “yes, that is me right there”?

It's confession time! Remember that acknowledging it is the first step in correcting a behavior.

Chapter 5: Cruel “Task-Masters”

Let’s turn to the Scriptures for some lessons on handling stress.

A definite time of stress in the Bible was when the children of Israel were enslaved in Egypt.

In Exodus 1:11-14 says:

“11 So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh. 12 But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites 13 and worked them ruthlessly. 14 They made their lives bitter with harsh labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their harsh labor the Egyptians worked them ruthlessly.” (NIV)

The interpretation of “hard labor” is actually burdens. Taskmasters were the ones who controlled what the Hebrews did.

The Hebrews were no longer in control of their days – they were controlled by their Egyptian taskmasters. It says they were compelled to labor rigorously and their lives were made bitter. This was external stress imposed on the Hebrews. This is what a taskmaster does to you.

Figure 6: photo by bcmom

Yoke of slavery is another way to define a taskmaster. Think about it. Leviticus 26:13 refers to the Israelites’ slavery in Egypt and the bars of the yoke they bore then.

The word “yoke” describes one of those big, clunky, wooden contraptions that goes over the shoulders of two oxen and attaches to a plow that follows behind. The two oxen have to do everything in concert – the yoke controls that one of the oxen doesn’t act on its own.

They bore the “yoke” of slavery.

Think of the stresses you listed before. Are your stresses like taskmasters? Are you yoked to them such that you are controlled by them like a rat in an experiment?

Do you feel you have no choice to your response? Are you living to survive, like the enslaved Hebrews, or are you thriving amidst the storm of stresses around you?

You want your circumstances changed, but God wants to change your thinking. Often you get this backward.

You won’t change your mind, won’t revise your attitude, until someone – God, a parent, a boss, a spouse, a child, a coworker – changes your circumstances.

Your life shuttles between an alteration of “if only,” “what if,” and “as soon as.” What a sad commentary.

But that is not how God works. This is how He works:

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)

You have to change your thinking to God’s perspective. A good way to do this is to start thinking of what all you have to be thankful for. Did you hear about the homeless man, Ted Williams, who was dubbed “the man with the golden voice”? He ended up being discovered by a newscaster who did a story on him and he was offered quite a few jobs. When he was all cleaned up and interviewed on tv, his main message was how thankful he was for his relationship with God. He said, “Even if I was still on the street begging, I would be thanking God every day for giving me life. If you want to watch this amazing video clip that got it all started, go here: http://amyhagerup.com/lessons-golden-voice/.

In order to renew your mind, you have to change your thinking to God’s perspective.

Remember the verse in Romans 8:28 that says that

“God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him who are called according to His purposes.” (NIV)

That will help you weather the storm of your current stress.

When I was ten years old, I contracted a disease called St. Vitus Dance. I had to take bycillin shots every month until I turned 22 years old in order to keep me from getting Rheumatic Fever. As I got older the shots got larger and larger, making my life miserable. As soon as I got one shot, I would start dreading the next month’s shot.

Around age 15 years, I was able to convince my doctor that I would be faithful to take the daily pill of penicillin which was also allowed. A few years later when I was applying to colleges, I was able to get a full, four year scholarship from Vocational Rehabilitation because one of the qualifying criteria to be eligible for the scholarship was anyone on a daily medication!

My “sickness” helped pay my way through college. I graduated in March 1975 and in July of that same year, I turned 22 years old and stopped the daily medication!

God doesn’t miss a beat, does He? When you truly believe that He is in control even when you don’t see the good outcome, it helps you cope with the stress.

Chapter 6: Replacing “Task-Master” with “God-Master”

I have established that your stresses are like “task-masters,” controlling you and bringing you down.

But there is hope. The opposite of “taskmasters” is “God-master.” And God as your Master offers you continual rest.

Hebrews 4: 1-3a says:

“Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. 2 For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed. 3 Now we who have believed enter that rest.” (NIV)

To have God as your master in lieu of other taskmasters is to surrender your life to Him – the One Who gave His son for you. When you give your life to Him, He offers you His rest.

Here are four truths about the continual rest God gives:

1.        God’s rest is a rest for the soul, not merely physical rest. It is different from going on a vacation, sleeping in on Saturday morning, or even observing a weekly Sabbath. This rest has to do with a sense of tranquility and calmness deep within your soul.

2.       This rest is rooted in Christ's work, not yours. It frees you from striving to get right with Him through your own good works.

3.       Sin keeps you from this rest. Rebellion against God, sin, and unbelief kept the Israelites from experiencing the kind of rest God wanted them to know.

Check out Hebrews 3:7-19. These things can also keep you from entering His rest. When you sin, you must be quick to confess it and to restore the intimacy of your relationship with Him. Some of the stress in your life is a direct result of unconfessed sin.

Recently, I had to apologize to my daughter after snapping at her about something because I acted like what I was doing was more important than her need at that moment. The stress that interaction caused me was a result of my own sin.

4.      A listening heart is needed to enjoy this rest fully. Hearing God's voice with a tender and receptive heart is essential if you want to experience His rest. You have to be proactive to make the time to listen to God’s still, small voice amidst all the clamoring noises around you.

Have you lapsed into a period of neglecting His Word? If so, you may forgo the rest He offers.

When my husband and I were engaged, we were separated for nine months while he was in Ethiopia as a missionary already and I was finishing my senior year of university in the USA. We wrote each other every day, and I would love to get home and check the mail for my letter.

Now I did not carefully place the letter on my night stand to read it when I went to bed – nor did I save it for a rainy day. I tore into it – to read the message the one who loved me wrote. I was eager!

That is how eager you should be to read God’s personal love letter to you! It’s amazing that you have the Bible. Make time to sit with the One Who loves you and read His message for you each day – it’s a message that results in rest.

In summary from the Hebrews passage, God offers you continual rest as His beloved children.

I can give you all kinds of tips and hints on turning stress into rest. But if you have never asked God to be your Master and forgive your sins, you will never be able to enter into His rest. No one can make that decision for you. You alone can invite God into your life to be your Master.

Chapter 7: Commanded Sabbath Rest

Now that you are God’s child and have entered into His continual rest of salvation, look now at another rest He offers you…no, I mean He commands it: a Sabbath rest!

In Exodus, God delivers the Hebrews from the yoke of slavery.

Think of the Ten Commandments He gave to the Hebrews as they began their journey to the Promised Land. It is there that He commands a Sabbath rest.

Actually, the opposite of yoke of slavery is a yoke of rest. I bet you never thought of it that way.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s take a look in Exodus and try to figure out the why.

Exodus’ Reason for the Sabbath Rest

Exodus 20:8-11 says:

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (NIV)

This passage commands that you keep the Sabbath in order to be like God (because He rested on the seventh day – even though, consequently, He didn’t need to!)

In a nutshell this would be a good definition of the Sabbath – imitating God so you can stop trying to be God!

God didn’t need rest, but you do. For you, rest is indispensable. You figure that because you can build huge buildings, and do in-vitro fertilization, and send cute photos to China in a few seconds, you can also figure out how to get around your God-ordained need for rest!

So God took the initiative to woo you into His rest by modeling it for you – like a mother who lies down beside her grumpy little one to get him to rest because she is resting.

This is the reason for rest in Exodus. You keep the Sabbath in order to be like God.

Deuteronomy has a different take though.

Deuteronomy’s Reason for the Sabbath Rest

Deuteronomy 5:12-15 says:

“12 “Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the LORD your God has commanded you. 13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do. 15 Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the LORD your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day.” (NIV)

In this passage God reminds the children of Israel that there was a day when they were denied choice in the matter. “Should I work? Should I rest?” There was no choice in the matter.

Taskmasters made sure of that.

But God drowned those taskmasters; He smote them; He went to great lengths with swarms of locusts, bloody rivers, hailstones large as apples – to remove that scourge from among them. Stop and think about it.

So here’s the logic of the Sabbath command in Deuteronomy: “Don’t revive the very thing that God has removed!”

Don’t place yourself in a yoke that God Himself broke off for you.

That is what the refusal to rest amounts to: living as though the taskmasters still stand over you, ever ready to beat you up for the smallest sign of slowing down.

Taskmasters despise rest.

Rest, it turns out, is a condition of liberty. To refuse Sabbath is in effect to spurn the gift of freedom God has given us.

And so He replaces the yoke of slavery with a yoke of rest – be connected to a Sabbath rest.

In that is your freedom.

Comparing Exodus’ Reason to Deuteronomy’s Reason

Exodus commands you to rest because God rested. It plays on a subtle irony – you imitate God to remind you that you are not God.

The verses in Deuteronomy, by contrast, call you to holy defiance: never be slaves again!

The first reminds you that you are God’s children – the work of His hands; the second reminds you that you are no one’s slaves – not Pharaoh’s, not Satan’s, not our day timer’s, not social media’s, not anyone’s.

To review, you have seen how God calls you to a continual rest in Hebrews 4 – the rest of belonging to Him, being His child.

Then we saw how God commands you to a Sabbath rest in Exodus and Deuteronomy. He made you and He knows what you need. In order to work well and efficiently, you need to follow the directions and take a weekly rest.

It’s similar to the expensive and intricate clock that arrives unassembled. The directions state clearly: You must follow these directions explicitly in order for the clock to work properly.

You too must follow God’s directions of a weekly rest day. For most people, a day of rest can be on Sunday when most people don’t have to work. But for someone in the ministry or a pilot or retail store employer, Sunday might not be an option. In that case, you can choose another day to set aside as your rest day.

You will have to decide what defines of day of rest for you. It is not God’s design to make it legalistic with a lot of do’s and don’ts. Rather, the goal is to accomplish rest for your soul and body. Do things that re-energize you and nothing that you “have” to do for work.

A drive in the country might be relaxing for one person, but for someone who drives for a living or has lots of children that they taxi here and there, a drive would not be their choice of a restful activity. (Of course, with the price of gas, this might be a moot point anyway.)

Another idea for your day of rest is to start it on Saturday evening around 5 or 6:00. You can set aside Saturday evening as family time or pizza night or game night. Then carry your rest day through your Sunday activities of going to church, and relaxing in the afternoon. Then when evening hits, you can get back into your work-mode, answering emails and preparing a plan for your next work week.

Do what works best for you but be sure to schedule in a 24 hour rest day.

Finally, there is yet a third kind of rest to help transform your stress to rest God’s way.

Chapter 8: Delightful Surrendered Rest

Matthew 11:28-30 says:

“28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV)

“Weary” gives the picture of worn out, and “burdened” makes you think of too many stresses, like an overloaded donkey barely able to move under his load.

Yoke is brought in again. Remember, it means that you are connected to something or someone. You go together.

Jesus is saying it is not the yoke of the “law” that He gives. He used the phraseology of the Jews’ “yoke” because Jewish leaders bound people with their yoke of the law.

Jesus in essence was saying, “Yes, I have a yoke but it is of grace and easy to bear.”

In Jesus' day, the word yoke was also a synonym for obligations, the sum of all of the duties that someone had to shoulder to fulfill a commitment in a certain area.

So, for example, monthly payments would be the yoke of the person who takes out a mortgage. It’s an obligation.

Jesus says to take on His yoke – be obligated to Him instead of other demands of the world.

Rephrasing Jesus' words, then, we come up with something like this:

"Come to Me, all you who are worn out and weighed down by scrambling to meet the demands of others, and I will bring quiet to your spirits. Serve Me, follow Me, and—because I am caring and understanding—I will stop the clamoring in your souls. For what I ask of you is not a burden at all."

I like that!

Chapter 9: Amazing Key to God’s Rest

What do you have to do to get the rest?

You have to COME to Jesus.

The key is coming to Jesus. We often talk about following Jesus in our walks of faith. But what about coming instead.

Following means to move behind someone or something in the same direction. You get the picture of someone in front of you, but he is heading away from you and you are following him.

Coming, on the other hand, denotes moving toward a particular person or place that is stationary.

Also, when you follow someone, you think of someone with their back to you, facing the other direction.

When you come to someone, you think of the person facing you, expectantly waiting for you to reach them, to catch up to them.

The key to rest is coming to Jesus – He is waiting for you with open arms.

I remember the first time we travelled from our home in Ghana to take our two oldest children to boarding school in Cote d’Ivoire to leave them there. The oldest, Ben, was going into fifth grade and was eagerly looking forward to his new school.

As I was putting his clothes into his dresser drawer – an 11 hour drive from our home – my heart started racing and my stomach began turning over. (Note: These were physical aspects of stress being manifested!)

I thought to myself: “What am I doing putting my young son’s clothes into this dresser so far from home?”

I quickly ran to Jesus and cried out to Him. I said, “Lord, You promised” as the tears started to flow. Immediately, my heart and stomach calmed down and I felt His loving arms around me, comforting me that He was in control. He assured me that He was weaving Ben’s life story too with boarding school was part of that beautiful tapestry.

All I did was “come” to Him and He gave me His rest.

God wants us to make the move – to initiate coming to Him. It is through coming to Him that we will be able to find rest for our souls.

Chapter 10: Nine Practical Steps for Transforming Stress into Rest

Coming to Jesus for His perspective on your life and stresses is crucial to transforming your stress into rest.

Whatever your stresses are, whether you can change them or not, you need to come to Jesus to get His perspective on them. You want to change your thinking to be like His thinking.

When you run toward Him, believe me, He is also running toward you, just like this photo of me running toward my mother after returning from our first four years in Ghana.

Figure 7: photo by George Roth

The delight we both had in being reunited is palpable in this photo.

That is representative of Jesus reception of you too.

You want to have the mind of Christ regarding everything that happens to you.

You want to seek His wisdom for what you say “yes” to and what you say “no” to.

Let me suggest some steps that might prove helpful as you begin to discover God's lighter load for you.

1. Know your purpose & calling in life and filter everything through this grid.

Jesus didn’t suffer from burnout and He didn’t put pressure on Himself. He knew His purpose.

John 10:10 says

“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” (NIV)

What is your gifting? What are you passionate about? What do you have a special heartbeat for? That is your purpose.

Your calling involves people in your life that you were chosen to be the spouse of, the parent of, the friend of. There are some responsibilities to these special people that only you can fill. Only you can be your spouse’s lover. Only you can be your child’s mother or father.

You can ask yourself “How will this use of my time fit in with my purposes and calling? Am I the only person who can do this? How will this affect my other responsibilities?

Now this is not to say that you would be exempt from some menial task like doing the dishes or setting up the chairs at church because that is not your gifting. Absolutely not. All of us are called on to serve others.

Rather this is referring to evaluating well your time investments – that each one should have a purpose and should have been deliberately accepted or rejected. In our family we keep the nursery at our church once a month.

We schedule this in to do our part in serving our church family, to teach our daughters to serve (we do it all together), to get to know another age group of families at our church (the young couples with babies and toddlers), and to show the love of Jesus to the little ones.

This is something that someone else could do, but we choose to include it in our lives for all these reasons. And we are blessed!

2. Identify your stressors and strip off your self-made yokes.

Some things you can change and some things you can’t. Begin today to make a plan to pare down your activities and your stressors.

You need to recognize and lay aside those many things you busy yourselves with that God has not called you to. Ask yourself:

-        What is the real motivation for what I am doing?

-        Who am I trying to please by doing this?

-        Why do I feel compelled to do this?

Asking these kinds of questions can help you tell the difference between being called and being driven.

Called people do things out of a sense of having listened and heard.

Driven people do things because they feel they have no choice.

Learn to say no. It is not a sin to say no. When you are asked to do something, a good answer is: “Let me think and pray about it. I tend to overextend myself and end up not doing a good job, so I have learned to take time before I give you an answer.”

When you need to give a no answer to a request someone has asked you to do, you can say something like, “I am really honored that you asked me to fill this position, but I am not going to be able to do it. I am confident that you will find the right person though.” If it is a church or ministry context, you can add that you will certainly be praying for them in this endeavor.

Another idea when you need to refuse a request is to counter it with what you can do. “I am not able to run the Vacation Bible School this summer, but I would love to provide some of the supplies that you will be needing.”

3. Spend time with the Lord each day for His guidance.

It is not a coincidence that the phrases "wait on the Lord" and "be still" are found so often in the Scriptures. Regular time to quiet your spirit before God and ask what God is saying, how He is moving, and where He is leading is crucial.

Intentional prayer about the demands of the day, moments of quiet between appointments, and monthly retreats to break with your normal routine: all of these are pauses that put you within reach of God's voice.

You should see them as non-negotiable, ways of wetting your finger and holding it up in the air to see which way the wind of God's Spirit is moving around you.

How else will you be able to see which of the things you are now busying yourself with are a waste of time, and which other things you haven't even thought of should be at the top of your list?

Jesus continually communicated that He was obeying His Father’s daily directions and that’s what you must do too. (See John 5:19; 8:28)

4.”Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

(This is a quote from John Ortberg. Don’t you love it? It is so descriptive.)

Stop hurrying! Factor in “the people margin” as you plan your day. If you schedule your errands too closely, you won’t have time for the chance to minister to someone in need.

One time I was on my way to church to teach a weekly Bible Study, but as I was leaving my neighborhood, I saw a neighbor cleaning up all the toilet paper that their yard had been strewn with the night before.

(In case you aren’t aware of this American phenomenon, during secondary school, teenagers think it is entertaining to take rolls of toilet paper and stream them all through the trees in a fellow classmate’s yard! Ridiculous, I know.)

I waved to her as I drove by, but my heart condemned me. How could I go teach a Bible Study when I didn’t even stop to help my neighbor in her distress?

I turned the car around and went back to help her. I was glad I had allotted ten extra minutes in my schedule and would still be able to get to the study on time.

Jesus never hurried. Even when Lazarus died, Jesus took his time getting there. (John 11:6 tells us He stayed there two days longer before going to where Lazarus had died.)

5. Learn time management skills.

Don’t let media control you (cell phone, texting, email, TV, facebook). Do things right away. Take care of that empty box, put clothes away, throw out junk mail before you even set it down – otherwise, things pile up. Delegate.

Teach your kids household skills and let them take the responsibility of it. Get rid of stuff. Simplify.

6. Know your triggers and make a plan.

As you get to know yourself better and better, you can pinpoint your stress triggers.

A stress trigger can be when you haven’t gotten enough sleep for a few days. Or it can be helping a slow-thinking child with her math. Or it could be the day your step kids are going to their other parent’s house.

Ask God to help you discern your triggers and then make a plan for how you will circumvent them before they happen.

7. Don’t succumb to the pressures of your culture.

Jesus didn’t succumb to the pressure of the culture around him. The Pharisees were always telling him what to do and what not to do. But Jesus didn’t succumb.

Your culture around you tries to be your taskmaster. Your child doesn’t have to go to every birthday party he is invited to.

Are you trying to keep up with the neighbors in how your yard looks? Do you have a relationship with someone who is demanding a lot of your time and attention?

I have one dear friend who loved to send me long emails about everything going on in her life and business. It is important to me to answer every personal email personally, so I was doing that. But she would respond immediately with another long email and more questions. I finally had to gently tell her that I could only email her once a week.

Evaluate your time-eaters and stress-givers. Don’t succumb to these pressures.

8. Do not let other people’s sin rob you of your peace. You are not responsible for how other people respond in any given situation. You are responsible for YOUR response.

Don’t worry about what other people think or how other people are going to react. You just be sure that you are responding in a way that pleases God.

If you can internalize this key point, you will cope with stresses much better. Many of your stresses are created because you are concerned what someone else is going to think or how someone else got angry.

9. Keep your end goal in mind.

How can any woman go through labor and delivery without anesthesia? How can marathon runners last for 27 miles? How can families decide to serve the Lord overseas when it hurts so much to leave their close knit relatives in their home country?

It’s because in each case the end goal is kept in mind. One can actually step out of the situation mentally and say “This isn’t too much fun right now, but the end goal is so great I will press on!”

Chapter 11: Bringing it home: From “Stress to Rest” God’s Way

We’ve covered a lot of things but let me bring it home for you with three necessary steps to remember. These are the three big things that are God’s remedy for transforming stress into rest.

1.        Invite God to be on the throne of your life.

When you get right down to it, this is where the rubber meets the road.

Rest from God can never be yours if you haven’t made Jesus your Lord and King.

2.       Keep a Sabbath rest day each week.

Decide to take a rest day to be refreshed and renewed. Do anything enjoyable but nothing that is necessary. Play and pray. Whatever brings you refreshment is fair game.

Remember that this is not a yoke of the law with a bunch of ‘do this’ and ‘don’t do this.’ It is a command of rest!

Jesus took time to rest and he instructed his disciples to rest (Mark 6:31).

You might feel this is like telling a person who is drowning in debt to begin to tithe. The truth is that when they begin to tithe, God provides more money!

The same is true with a Sabbath rest – when you carve out time for a Sabbath rest, God makes you more efficient and productive on the other six days.

Figure 8: photo by Jer

Look at a piece of beautiful lace. What makes it so beautiful? It is because of the holes that are in it – because the threads are not non-stop like a piece of cloth.

That is the beauty of rest in your lives too. The “holes” make the rest of your life beautiful.

Follow God’s instructions to operate well – take a rest day each week.

3.       Come to Jesus in full trust!

You must believe that God is sovereign and that He has everything under control.

Why do you not worry when you board a plane? It is because you trust the pilots to fly it, you trust the engineers who made it, and you trust the technicians who filled it with fuel. You have no ability to fly that plane but you trust.

Why do you willingly submit yourself to going into an MRI machine? Because you trust the one overseeing it, you trust the one who made it, and you trust your doctor who ordered the test.

You must also trust your Heavenly Father with the stresses He allows in your lives that you can’t control.

Do you know how the Jews who survived the Nazi concentrations were able to live through it? It’s because of their thinking – they refused to let their captors control their thinking and attitudes. They could hurt them, belittle them, torture them, lie to them, isolate them, but they couldn’t change their thinking!

You have control of your own thinking.

You often can’t change your stress, but you can change how you think about your stress. God is in control and we have to remind ourselves of that when the hard times come.

Nothing happens to you that is not filtered through His hand. The Trinity never has a committee to wring their hands and say, “Oh no, look what happened to the Hagerups? Now how are we going to bring good out of this?”

Never. Not going to happen. God is in control. He said so in Jeremiah 29:11:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

I know this is hard to do. You are continually being tested – you have never arrived regarding this.

Okay. Listen carefully. This is huge:

The goal is not to remove stress, but to handle it in a way that honors God who is sovereign over it. We want to close the gap between what happens and acknowledging that God is sovereign in it.

Do you hear what I am saying? There is a period of time between when a stressful event happens to us and when we finally decide to acknowledge that God is in control. It’s that gap of time in between the two that I am talking about here.

What I am saying is to work at narrowing that time lapse so that when the stress occurs, it is immediately followed by “Wow! Well, that hurts. But I KNOW God is in control and is going to bring good out of this!”

This is not to say that whatever is happening is not painful…nor is it not significant such that you would flippantly say “God is in control” when you get the phone call that your child was just in a car accident. Absolutely not.

It’s okay to cry in times like these. God made us to be emotional beings.

Rather what I am advocating is that deep-seated knowledge that your Heavenly Father has not been surprised by what has happened. It is you clinging to Him for the peace only He can give in the midst of the storm.

I’m reminded of Isaiah 26:3:

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.” (NIV)

Think on that verse for a minute. Perfect peace. Whose mind is steadfast. Peace. Steadfast. Because he trusts in God. Now that sounds like rest to me. Sweet, peaceful rest because you are keeping your mind on God.

So how big is that gap for you? Work at narrowing that gap. You want your “default” response during stress to be one of knowing that God is in control.

When I was ten years old, my father had deserted our family and we were behind on paying our bills such that our heat was cut off. My mom, being the resourceful woman that she is, would heat up our kitchen with the oven. She would crank up the oven with its door open, line up our shoes on the open oven door and heat up the kitchen and our shoes.

We would come running into the kitchen from our cold bedrooms and my mom would greet us with a big smile and warm shoes for our feet. She would be praising God who gave us the oven to heat up our kitchen and shoes.

Actually, we kids didn’t think God was doing such a great job since He was forgetting about our bedrooms. But my Mom had learned how to go from a stressful situation to acknowledging that God was in control.

Trusting in God’s sovereignty in your life helps put stress into perspective. And that was true of my mother too.

You want to practice believing God for the answer before you know the answer, like Nehemiah did. When Nehemiah first went to rebuild the walls around Jerusalem, he was thwarted on many sides. But he said, “God will give us success” in Nehemiah 2:20. Then in 6:16 after the wall was completed, he said, “God gave us success.” I refer to that as “the Nehemiah sandwich.” I want to be like Nehemiah, don’t you?

There is absolutely no experience that is meaningless in the hands of God. Times of great stress can become a spiritually productive time of your life.

The very thing that currently is stressing you may be God’s appointment toward the fulfillment of His greatest plan for your life.

Often what He is working in you through your stresses has more to do with your character and His kingdom being fulfilled in your life than with earthly comfort and convenience.

How’s the condition of your tree?

How’s your tree doing? Is it being bent to almost breaking?

God offers you continual rest as His child, a Sabbath rest for your renewal each week, and a promise of rest with Jesus’ yoke.

Psalm 1:1-3 tells you what will happen to your tree as you seek God’s rest.

“Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.” (NIV)

Figure 9: photo by Beatrice Murch

One time in Ghana after we had had a very difficult year of ministry, we were on our way for a vacation. While leaning my head against the car window as we bumped along, I told the Lord I was so weary, so burdened, so broken.

I saw a big, tall tree that was totally bare. It was all gnarled and ugly looking as it stretched up to the sky.

I said to the Lord, “I feel just like that tree – barren with no fruit; exhausted – just existing.” And the Lord whispered to me, “but Amy, the tree is alive because of its deep roots. You are alive because of your roots in me.

Refreshment and renewal will come – the leaves will grow again and the fruit will come – all because your roots are in Me.”

Turn your stress into rest God’s way and you will be the kind of tree God wants you to be.

Figure 10: photo by Tatiana Gerus

Personal Worksheet

1.        Stress affects the whole person. Describe how each aspect of stress is being manifested in your life right now:

Emotionally:

Physically:

Socially:

Mentally:

Spiritually:

2.       List everything that is contributing to stress in your life right now. (Consider financial, illnesses, relationships, expectations of others, health needs, work, family, unmet desires, etc.)

3.       Of the 8 unhealthy responses to stress, which ones can you identify with the most (either your own response or you have been the recipient of someone else taking their stress out on you)? Explain. (The 8 unhealthy responses are escape, over-indulging in something, deer in headlights syndrome, attack others, change circumstances, gutting it out, becoming violent, and avoidance.)

4.      Think about the statement “God is more interested in changing your thinking than in changing your circumstances.” Read Romans 12:2. How does that verse impact you in your stressful situation right now?

5.       Chapters 6, 7, and 8 talk about different kinds of rest that God offers us: continual rest, Sabbath rest, and surrendered rest. What impacted you the most about each type of rest?

Continual rest:

Sabbath rest:

Surrendered rest:

6.       Use these questions to help you implement the practical steps for transforming stress into rest.

A.      What is my real purpose & calling in life? Do I use this as a grid for filtering my activities through? How can I do this better?

B.      What are my stressors? What are my self-made yokes? What is in my power to change or eliminate? For the things I can’t change immediately, how does my thinking need to change?

C.      Am I spending time with the Lord each day to ask for His wisdom? How can I schedule time to do this better daily?

D.      How can I effectively eliminate hurry from my life? What thinking needs to change to affect this?

E.      How am I managing my time? What are my time-wasters? How can I change that?

F.      What are my stress triggers? What kind of plan can I put in place to help me respond better to these triggers?

G.      What pressures of today’s culture are weighing me down? How can I respond better to these pressures?

H.      How do I keep perspective of not worrying excessively about what someone else’s response is? How do I ensure that I am pleasing God in my responses rather than trying to please people?

I.       What goal do I really want for my life? My family? My work? How can I be more cognizant of my end goals?

Resources & Recommendations:

1.        Buchanan, M. (2011) The Rest of God. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

2.       MacDonald, G. (2008) A Resilient Life. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

3.       MacDonald, G. (1985) Ordering Your Private World. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers.

4.      Holy Bible, New International Version Bible. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

5.       quote from John Ortberg, http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/currenttrendscolumns/leadershipweekly/cln20704.html

Photo Credits:

Figure 1: photo by Alicia Bramlett

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30480398@N08/3562758891/in/faves-54906813@N04/

Figure 2: photo by yours truly, Amy Hagerup, in Ethiopia

Figure 3: photo by showmeone

http://www.flickr.com/photos/showmeone/4343605420/in/faves-54906813@N04/

Figure 4: photo by public energy

http://www.flickr.com/photos/publicenergy/26628779/

Figure 5: photo by yours truly, Amy Hagerup

Figure 6: photo by bcmom

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bcmom/218125539/in/faves-54906813@N04/

Figure 7: photo by my brother, George Roth

Figure 8: photo by Jer

http://www.flickr.com/photos/-jer-/390021401/in/faves-54906813@N04/

Figure 9: photo by Beatrice Murch

http://www.flickr.com/photos/blmurch/229779712/in/faves-54906813@N04/

Figure 10: photo by Tatiana Gerus

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tgerus/4651968208/

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Amy Hagerup is passionate about helping others to take their next step toward a more fulfilling life. Her writings include a variety of subjects including spirituality, health, weight loss, personal development, building a small business online, and sharing stories and lessons learned from experiences in Africa. Amy is married to her best friend, has 5 children and 3 children-in-love, and 12 (at the last count) delightful grandchildren.

http://AmyHagerup.com

http://healthychoices4u.com

http://HealthyBusinessTips.com

Email: amy@hagerup.org

Phone: 262-208-4950

Let’s connect on social media too:

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YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/amyhagerup

Your Health is Your Wealth!

IMPORTANT: Each individual is, at all times, and under all circumstances, completely responsible for ALL decisions made regarding their own personal health care choices. This is simply educational information for your mental and spiritual support and is not intended to replace any medical advice or treatment. Every person is unique, with unique needs and all aspects of the body must be addressed for optimal health and well-being.

DISCLAIMER REMINDER:

This information is not intended to replace your medical consultations. This is the opinion of the author and of the people who are quoted and has not been approved by the FDA. The advice is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. Seek your health professional for all your medical concerns, including stress-related issues.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Scary Mule Ride

Chapter 2: Stress Affects the Whole Person

Chapter 3: Identify Your Stressors

Chapter 4: Eight Unhealthy Responses to Stress

Chapter 5: Cruel “Task-Masters”

Chapter 6: Replacing “Task-Master” with “God-Master”

Chapter 7: Commanded Sabbath Rest

Chapter 8: Delightful Surrendered Rest

Chapter 9: Amazing Key to God’s Rest

Chapter 10: Nine Practical steps for Transforming Stress into Rest

Chapter 11: Bringing it home: From Stress to Rest God’s Way

Personal Worksheet