Ridiculously Happy!

The Secret to Manifesting the Life & Body of Your Dreams

Carol Whitaker

Testimonials

“I have waited all my life for this book...searched the nooks/crannies of book shops and online words of light, knowing these words existed and prayed someone would write them out. Carol Whitaker, a true, wise woman warrior for good, has written the sacred recipe for all women to discover their authentic divine selves and remarkable spirits. Her words are now written on my heart like hieroglyphs that I can return to often to develop and cultivate within myself. It is a book written for women and for men who wish to truly know the heart of a woman.”

~ Mary Michelle Scott, President at Fishbowl Inventory

“If you’re ready to embrace your unique magnificence, reclaim your personal power, and optimize your health, read this book! Carol Whitaker reminds us that it is our birthright to experience overall vitality and well-being. She shares firsthand awareness of how she achieved this state of radiant health, harmony, and happiness and provides life-changing tools, tips, and insights as you go on a magical journey of self-discovery and expansion. This book holds the power to transform your life, from the inside out!”

~ Cari Murphy, Best-Selling Author, Award Winning Media Host, and Soul Success Coach

“Carol Whitaker has captured the essence of transformation from within. Like a diet for the mind, Ridiculously Happy! guides you on a spiritual journey, allowing you to harness the power of the mind, body, and spirit to achieve a level of mental and physical wellness one may not have thought possible. I’m a big fan of energy therapy and love that Carol shares the EFT tapping technique, which anyone can quickly and easily use to find peace and healing in their lives. This book is a must-have!”

~ Laura M. Brotherson, MS, MFT, Marriage and Intimacy Expert, Author of And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment, Host of “The Marital Intimacy Show,” Founder of StrengtheningMarriage.com.

“Wow! You can stop searching Amazon for the perfect ‘self-help manual’ because Carol Whitaker’s book has it all! Ridiculously Happy! The Secret to Manifesting the Life & Body of Your Dreams should be required reading for every young person about to venture out into the ‘real world’ because the information it contains would quickly steer their lives to greatness. For the rest of us, the faster we get the book the faster we can start moving that way ourselves! If you need to improve any area of your life (and who doesn’t?) this book is a must-read!”

~ Peggy Lee, Author, Speaker, Personal Empowerment Coach, and Certified Fitness Consultant

“Ridiculously Happy! is a step-by-step guide on what to do to bring about the internal and external life that you want. Like your own personal cheerleader, this book will encourage you to stay the course as you take the daily steps of altering your thoughts (your energy) to manifest your dreams. It is the combination of mind, body, and spirit working synergistically to achieve our desires. We are all deserving of life’s greatest luxuries! This book can be the inspiration to find yours!”

~ Lorre White, “The Luxury Guru,” White Light Consulting

“Looking for ways for a radical transformation of your health? Your life? If you want to make changes but are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of conflicting information out there, then Ridiculously Happy! by Carol Whitaker is the book for you. It’s a guide about how understanding and loving yourself is the first step toward making the right decisions to achieving the glowing vitality so many of us are seeking. It’s easy and entertaining to read with lots of practical advice. You need to grab this book as fast as possible so you too can be ‘ridiculously happy’ in your life!”

~ Elizabeth Harrington, Host of Web TV show NewPrimetime.com, Entrepreneur

“Ridiculously Happy! is a must-have in the library of anyone who is seriously trying to successfully transform their lives and thought patterns. It is a very powerful book. It offers a wealth of information for all who are aspiring to take their lives to the next levels. Carol Whitaker brings such insight and knowledge in her aspiring words and by using her tips I hope to become half as good as she is. I am correcting behaviors because of reading this book. I want the desire to develop a better relationship in every aspect of my life. This book needs to be read by anyone serious about rebuilding their lives.”

~ Kathy Hamilton, Simi Kathy Consultants

“Ridiculously Happy! is absolutely astounding and endearing! Exceptionally inspiring and encouraging while providing methods and thoughts to energize or revitalize your journey, no matter what season of life you’re in. I recommend this empowering and enlightening book to anyone who wants to discover or refresh the blissful essence life can bring through your intentions to live in contentment and fabulous fulfillment!”

~ Michele Plunkett

“I cannot tell you how many times Carol has said the right words at the right time of inspiration and in her writings; I felt as it were just for me! Carol’s gives splendid reminders about what God sees when He looks at us…Carol’s gifts from heaven have helped women all over the world. In the pages of this precious book, you will see how God’s strength helps us transcend ALL: all time, all distance, all pain, all past, and all present. Carol has shown me how to tap into what God has for me and embrace my trials, knowing He will see me through! Carol has the ability to show us how to focus on the actions of love and trust; she shows us power can be harnessed into our health, our homes, our everything...making our dreams become our reality! “Whatever you have been missing or have wanted all your life, no matter where you are starting, Carol’s book both inspires and gives you real and tangible concepts, ideas, and simple changes that will help you become all you desire to be—the BEST of your authentic self! “She shows you how to be aware of unhealthy and toxic patterns and explains that YOU have the power to turn around and go in your direction of happiness. ENJOY the journey to yourself and discover how completely and RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY YOU truly can BE!!!”

~ Victoria Legend

“Carol Whitaker is special. I admit I was leery of the concept of a Life Coach until I met Carol. What appeals to me about Carol is that she understands what it’s like to live with and overcome emotional and physical pain. In her own life she has overcome numerous trials that have given her great empathy and understanding. She has spent years studying and applying the laws and principles of health and happiness. She lives and breathes the truths that she teaches in this book, and the beauty and success of her life now is evidence of that. She is a deeply spiritual and highly intelligent woman, with a gift for helping others see and achieve their potential. The principles and practices she teaches in Ridiculously Happy! can be applied to improve every facet of a person’s life: emotional, spiritual, and physical. “I began working with Carol as my Life Coach last year, and she’s helped me so much to achieve my goals and live a much more healthy, productive, and joy-filled life. She is a gifted Life Coach who is now sharing her talents with everyone through this book. It is a privilege to know and work with Carol, and I’m so excited that others will be able to benefit from her expertise. I hope you’ll read and apply the things you learn from Carol’s book. If you have the opportunity to also work with her as a Life Coach, your life will be transformed. She is that good.”

~ Jennifer Kambourian, Oakton, Virginia

“Ridiculously Happy! is a practical guide on living your very best life! If you are ready to embrace a journey of self-discovery and enlightenment, then this book is for you. I have had the immense pleasure of working with Carol Whitaker personally and can honestly say this woman’s heart is so beautiful and full of light, you cannot come away from an interaction with her unchanged. When you embrace what she teaches you, life becomes magical and the dreams that have been on the back burner can come to fruition. This book will guide you every step of the way, and you will feel the love and caring that Carol embodies in all that she does. Get ready for the best version of YOU!”

~ Stephanie Blackbird, CEO of Fuel the Change, LLC

“I wish we could get Ridiculously Happy! into EVERY girl’s hands before they leave high school/home and enter into the world. Carol Whitaker is one of my beautiful heroes and a gift from heaven.”

~ Victoria McClure

“This book is profound in its wisdom and contains exercises and stories that are truly inspirational and healing. A must-read for every woman!”

~ Dawn McIntyre

“Carol’s love and light shine through every page of this book. The lessons—looking within ourselves to find our own happiness and why we are all deserving of all the good life has to offer—are something every woman should read. The exercises, which help readers visualize and manifest their greatest desires and explain why certain behaviors cause us to remain stuck, are valuable and can make any person’s life better. This book will show you how to use the Law of Attraction to live the life you deserve! ASK, BELIEVE, AND RECEIVE!! This is a fantastic read. Thank you, Carol!”

~ Jenn Bevan, Firefighter/Heavy Rescue Technician

“How we live each day is the true reflection of our spiritual journey, and Carol’s book Ridiculously Happy! helps us navigate our inner world to create the outer world of our dreams. This book is filled with wonderful success stories and timeless wisdom for our modern lives. Ridiculously Happy! helps us realize that the words and lessons taught in this book will be a turning point in our lives. This book is like a cookbook, with wonderful recipes to follow to create something in our lives that’s yummy and can be shared with others, like good food. This book is a must-have for women at every stage of life. I highly recommend it!”

~ Jennifer White, Fine Artist, Owner of MyWedding.com

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my eternal family: Matthew, my best friend and love of my life, to my daughter, Erika, and my sons, David and Dylan. Thank you for all that you are and for your love, enthusiasm, and support. I love you all more than life!

Acknowledgments

I wish to express my sincere appreciation and love for the following people who inspired me to make this book possible.

First, I would like to express my love and thankfulness to God, whom I like to refer to lovingly as my Heavenly Father, and to His son, Jesus Christ, for blessing me with the gifts and talents to write this book as I was led by the Holy Ghost (which I refer to as “the Spirit”). And I am thankful beyond measure to Heavenly Father for blessing me with my loving family, whom I love beyond expression, and I would not be who I am today without them.

I would like to also express my deepest heartfelt love and gratitude to my eternal family, my loving husband and precious children. I am thankful beyond words to my devoted husband, Matthew, whom I love more than life, for his continued love, enthusiasm, and support. I am also thankful to our three beautiful children, for their love and patience, and the belief they have in me. My family always impassions me to accomplish that which I set out to do. They continually inspire me to be the best I can be, to believe in my dreams, and to become what I desire. Words are unable to fully articulate the infinite love I have for my family. I am thankful beyond measure for all that they are and for the love and joy they bring into my life.

I am also thankful to my loving parents and sisters who have cheered me on to complete my book, each of whom I love dearly. I would be lost without my parents’ shining example in my life; they are such amazing examples. I have been richly blessed with adoring parents who taught me to love the Lord with all my heart. They are always there for me with loving arms, and for that I will be forever thankful.

I would also like to thank my dearest friends, Paulette (Taffy) Smith and Nancy DeMello. They have been my cheerleaders from when I first felt inspired to write this book as well as my dear friend, Teresa Nielsen. I sincerely appreciate their endearing friendship, encouragement, and support. I will forever cherish our everlasting friendship.

Also I would like to thank my wonderful editors, Brenda Errichiello and Emily Edmonds. They each are lifesavers! I could not have completed this book accordingly without their guidance, gifts, and talents. I would also like to thank my audiobook engineer, Steve Lerud, of Lakeview Recording. He is highly talented and a joy to work with.

I am likewise thankful for my clients. Those who are drawn to me always have beautiful stories as to how they were divinely inspired to contact me. I am honored to be a part of their transformational journeys and take pleasure in their accomplishments. I treasure and love each of my clients deeply, those who I am coaching now, those I have coached in the past, and those who I will coach in the future.

Thank you to everyone who has touched my life. Some of you came into my life for but a short time, while others of you will stay throughout the test of time. To each of you, I thank you for your part and the light you have shared in my life.

I am sincerely thankful—I love you all!

Carol Whitaker

Section One

A New Beginning

Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Chapter 1

Who You Really Are

You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of All that is, will be and ever was.

~ Anthon St. Maarten Do you know who you really are? When you ask yourself that question, your name or profession may come to mind, but that’s not who you really are. These descriptions are simply titles to help you and others understand what you do for a living, and your name was given to you by your parents. Your real self is your inner being, your true essence within. You are a precious daughter of God, a spiritual being created in His image and likeness. You are a glorious woman with infinite wisdom, beauty, and light. You are a divine being created by Deity. You are magnificence in the truest form, right now, just as you are!

This may be a new concept for you, but it’s true. You are much more than your physical body—that’s only a part of you. The larger part of you is spirit—your true essence, otherwise known as your higher self. You are made of positive energy, truth, and light. It is your higher self that glows softly from within. Your higher self is that of perfection; it is that of Deity and is all-knowing. It holds the solutions to all your problems and is the source of your heart’s desires. That which resides in you is your radiant essence, the core of who you really are.

Your real self is constantly looking out for your highest good. It guides you and enlightens your mind through your intuition as it is impressed upon to do so by the heavens above. Your higher self is also that of pure love. When you are in alignment with your higher self, you feel peacefulness within, regardless of what is happening around you. It is being in alignment with your higher self that enables you to create and manifest with intention.

Though you may be having difficult times, when you live from your higher self, you are able to receive divine inspiration more clearly to help you overcome and excel in triumph over that which is heavy in your heart. To live through your higher self comes by honoring that which you are, by loving yourself unconditionally, and by trusting your abilities. Just as a mother wraps her arms around a child when he trips and falls, her loving energy gives her child comfort and peace to carry on. As you come to acknowledge your higher self by appreciating who you are, you too will find love in you. As you come to accept yourself for who you are you will come to feel the peacefulness that resides in you. And it’s at that moment that you will sense your glorious inner being and will know that there’s so much more to you than just your physical body. As you come to acknowledge and tap into who you really are, you will feel God’s love for you more fully and will be able to live in a higher state of consciousness naturally. It’s such a magical way to live!

When you embrace your higher self, you will shift into a powerful energy of being. And as you do, you will also begin to shift your self-image to match that which you desire. When you are in harmony with your real self, your doubts and worries will subside. Your self-confidence will improve greatly too. Instead of disbelieving in your abilities, you will come to trust that you really can achieve your dreams. Tapping into the larger part of you will align yourself with God’s love. You will know without question that you are loved and cared for by a loving Father above. Knowing this, you are better able to see the good in various circumstances and will be able to move through trials easier, leaving bitterness and despair behind you.

Living in alignment with your higher self brings about a sense of serenity; it’s as though you have a security blanket around you protecting you from the storms of life. It unveils love, happiness, and peace within that cannot be found outside of you. Ponder how rewarding that is, to be able to leave your worries behind simply by connecting with the truthfulness of that which you are. You can have all the joy your heart desires by being mindful of who you really are, a daughter of God, a spiritual being of energy and light. Living in harmony with your true essence is empowering; it inspires your mind, evokes love, tranquility, kindness, and forgiveness. It motivates you to take inspired, focused action to achieve your goals and dreams—in all areas of your life.

Being in Alignment with Your Higher Self

Aligning with your higher self is not difficult to do; it’s an instinctive way of being. When you feel at peace, content, and happy, that’s when you are in alignment with the real you. It’s your higher self shining through. It’s the sparkle in your eyes, the joy in your smile, and the radiance that surrounds you and signifies you are in alignment with your higher self. Your real self is what gives you hope for the best even when you are down. It’s what moves you to dream big and to believe in your ability to succeed even when people say otherwise. Your real self is a source of greatness and infinite power. You may not have known until now just how powerful you are. You in truth are an infinite, eternal being—you are perfection in physical form! And through this power that resides in you comes the power of creation. You were born to be a co-creator with God in order to create a joyful way of life here on Earth. Regardless of what you think about yourself or what your past is, you have all the power and creative energy needed to truly transform your life and body of that which you desire.

As we go about hustling to get our endless to-do lists completed, we tend to forget just how remarkable we are. And as a result, we fall into the trap of letting our mind take over our heart’s desires, and we lose touch with our innate glory and truth within. We tend to let our judgments of our unwanted life experiences mold us and overshadow our eternal knowing within. Regrettably, we fail to connect with our real selves because we let the worldly cares get in our way of living our natural way of being. And when we do, we can easily tumble into the snare of being overworked, stressed out, and overly tired more often than not, which is not a satisfying way to live. But once you make a conscious effort to quiet your mind and connect with your higher self, you will come to feel the serenity of your inner self, which will calm your body and mind and release you from the snare of a hectic life. By cultivating this sense of calm in your life, you will able to resonate with who you really are, which will bring about a sense of inner power, happiness, and well-being.

Your real self is constantly communicating to your body through the way you feel. All thoughts have energy, which vibrates through you and creates your feelings. When you feel good, that’s when your body and mind are in alignment with your higher self. You feel good because your higher self has a high vibration, which brings about feelings of happiness and bliss. The better you feel, the more in alignment you are with the real you. And when you’re not in a good mood, it’s your body reflecting the low energy you are vibrating, letting you know that you are not in alignment. When your feel out of sorts, it’s a signal that you need to change your thoughts to be in harmony with your higher self, by changing your focus of thought. Your feelings are simply your body’s way of letting you know what type of energy you have. To shift your energy from feeling bad to feeling peaceful and content, change your thoughts to be positive, appreciative, loving, and kind. How we feel is a choice.

We have the power to change our thoughts and what we set our attention upon anytime we choose. By choosing to have thoughts that make you feel good, you are able to bring about feelings of happiness, which are fundamental to being in a vibration of creation—to be in harmony with that which you desire. For instance, if you want a new car then you have to feel and believe you really can have a new car. This will create high-energy vibrations within you, which will radiate out into the Universe and attract back to you what you feel most passionately about. Such is the case of having a new car. When you see yourself driving a new car with your inner eye and know you will have it, you are in a vibration of creation mindset, which will ultimately inspire you to take action and buy a new car. It works the same for anything that you want to improve in your life. Your real self moves you to bring to fruition that which your heart desires—in great abundance! It is the source of that which you are, and it is the higher part of you that is connected with God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost (the Spirit), and administering angels.

Being in tune with the truthfulness within you will open the gateway for you to transform your life in remarkable ways. No longer will you be stuck in a stupor of lack and limitations; on the contrary, you will thrive blissfully and abundantly. Your real self is what inspires and motivates you to reach, to grow, to take risks, and to believe in your abilities. It enables you to flourish in all areas of your life; it is what allows you to live happily regardless of what’s going on in the world around you. It’s the part that lights up the world around you; it’s the joy you feel when you give a lending hand and lift a downtrodden spirit. It is the part of you that is authentically you.

Living Your Truth Authentically

When you come to delight in the magnificence that you are, you will come to a place of living from your authentic self. Living your truth authentically is living free of outside cares and being content and at peace with who you are. Living genuinely is freedom. It’s being free to be yourself without regret or excuses. It’s being in your power without having to give it a second thought.

In order to live authentically, you need to learn how to listen and trust your instincts, to make decisions and take actions that are in alignment with your truth. Your spirit communicates to your heart and mind simultaneously through your intuition. That is why it’s so important to trust your instinct, which is often referred to as a “gut feeling”; it’s your higher self and the Spirit guiding your way. How many times have you felt impressed to do something and didn’t follow your instinct, only to regret not doing so? We’ve all been there, and when we do that, we often catch ourselves saying, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Your future can be just as clear as hindsight. When you live authentically, you are able to receive heavenly direction and inspiration that enlightens your path before you, thus making foresight 20/20.

I love it when I receive divine inspiration. Each time I hear the still, small voice within, I feel peace and assurance come over me. Can you remember a time in your life when you had a thought come to you from out of the blue and it ended up being an answer to your prayers or kept you safe from adversity? That was when your higher self received divine inspiration from above; it was most likely a time when you were also living authentically.

Living authentically is such a wonderful way to live. When you are your authentic self, you are content and happy, which frees your soul of limiting doubt, judgment, and fear—that’s why it feels so good. You can’t be in harmony with your higher self and live authentically if you’re filled with negative feelings such as self-doubt and resentment. That’s why when you have negative thoughts, you feel unhappy and discontented. It’s your authentic self that constantly guides your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and stirs you to take action in the direction of your desires. Living authentically is an awe-inspiring way to live. It’s that feeling you get when you cranked up your favorite song and dance about joyfully. It’s living from your heart, free of worry and concern of the outside world, which enables you to live a blissful way of life. Being in your power by living authentically releases limiting thoughts and beliefs of self-doubt and self-pity, and it instills self-love, assurance, and confidence. And isn’t that how we all really want to be?

You can always tell when others are living authentically and when they’re not. You know when they are by the soft look about them. Their auras radiate; they’re a pleasure to be around, they dress nicely, and they appreciate the simple pleasures in life. It’s no wonder that people are drawn to authentic people.

Do you recall a time when you felt really happy or perfectly content for no particular reason? Or when you woke up on the “right” side of the bed with energy and excitement for the day ahead? That’s when you were living your truth authentically. When you take pleasure in the ease of life and live for that which makes your heart sing, that is when you are living authentically.

I absolutely love to associate with those who are living authentically. I am drawn to them like a child is to ice cream. They’re a pleasure to be around, and they are highly refreshing when they speak openly and with kindness, without reservation or concern for what others might think. They are a shining example to all who know them of how to live a happy way of life. It’s their commitment to living in accordance with their integrity that attracts likeness to them. When you honor yourself by upholding your morals and values, you are living from the real you—you are living authentically. However, you can’t live authentically if you are constantly trying to please others or if you don’t honor your core beliefs and standards.

Unfortunately, it’s easy to give into the ways of the world and lose sight of our values and beliefs, which causes confusion and discord within. Doing so only brings about heartache and disappointment, which then causes the mind to run wild trying to fill the void of the lost connection with your higher self. These feelings of dissatisfaction come about when your inner truth is diminished and your wants, morals, and values are out of sync with your authentic self. But thankfully, you have the innate ability to connect with your inner self anytime you choose by simply shifting your thought process to that which honors your truth.

Have you noticed how authentic people emit an essence of satisfaction and contentment? It’s what makes them stand out in a world filled with people who are trying desperately to find themselves. Those who are always trying to fit in or trying to be someone they’re not are seldom truly happy and generally have low self-worth. It’s the people who live authentically who are proud of who they are and act accordingly, regardless of what others do. They have a sense of well-being about them that uplifts others they associate with. They simply live from their hearts. Think of a time when you felt the most empowered—the memory resonates with you because that’s when you were living from your authentic self. In other words, you were in alignment with the real you.

Ray of Sunshine

One of my dear friends, Kathy, is always her authentic self. She is a ray of sunshine. She shares her inner beauty and light through her kind eyes and welcoming smile. She makes everyone feel as if they’re her best friend. She is without judgment and guile, and she’s not petty, jealous, contentious, or judgmental nor is she competitive or selfish. She is just the opposite: giving, complimentary, happy, loving, understanding, supportive, and kind. She radiates the light of Christ in her countenance, and she exudes love in all that she does. She is a perfect example of what it means to live authentically. You too can live as she does by being true to your core beliefs and living from your authentic self.

Just as Kathy makes others feel comfortable and at peace when they’re around her, so do others who live authentically. We all have much more to give when we live our truth. When you strive to be “you” and don’t try to be something that you are not, you’re free to be yourself. When you are authentic, you vibrate high energy that radiates from within, attracting back to you that which you feel. Have you noticed that when you feel good about yourself and you’re living as you desire to be, you have happier, more fulfilling relationships? That’s because you are radiating happy, feel-good energy, or “good vibes,” which are influencing others to treat you the same.

When you choose to be your authentic self, you will no longer feel pressure from your peers or feel as though you have to compete for attention from your colleagues, family members, and friends. It’s tiresome and lonely to have feelings of needing validation or approval from others. Those feelings come about because you’re not living authentically. Trying to deal with all the insecurities of living an inauthentic life is wearing, stressful, and highly unsatisfying. If you struggle with constantly needing attention or approval from others, you can change your perception of yourself to that of love and respect, which will shift your feelings of needing approval or recognition.

To help you shift from living inauthentically to living authentically, practice “checking in” with your emotions several times a day. If you feel good and pleased with yourself—high-five! You are living as your authentic self! You can also know if you’re living authentically by your results. Your outside world and your body are an expression of your self-image. You can’t live authentically if you have poor self-image. When you come to recognize your primary beliefs and honor your standards, you will live more authentically, which brings about more peace, joy, and harmony in your life.

How do you feel right now? Are you happy and content? If not, then regroup and evaluate your thoughts and feelings. If you feel out of sorts, then do yourself a favor, here and now, and resolve to let go of negative feelings that are keeping you from living authentically. Fostering negative feelings, no matter the reason, will keep you from being able to live a happy, fulfilling life. Instead, those miserable thoughts are keeping you hostage in your mind. Feelings of dissatisfaction occur when our inner truth is diminished and our personal wants, morals, and values do not match those of our true self. I love how Suzanne Zoglio, Ph.D., explains it in her book, Create A Life That Tickles Your Soul: “When you fashion a life where the decisions you make and the actions you take are considered, deliberate, and in harmony with what’s important to you, you are living an authentic life.” She said it perfectly: when your actions are in harmony with your values and beliefs, you are able to thrive authentically.

Live in the Moment

One of the best ways to live authentically is to live in the moment by focusing on the here and now. Don’t think about yesterday or tomorrow, but instead be present right this very second. When you live in the moment, you are distanced from the thoughts that bring about worry and stress and distract you from living authentically.

Living in the moment is a marvelous way to live. It’s soaking up the sunshine when you’re outside on a hot summer day. It’s listening to your children laugh as you watch them play. It’s enjoying to the melodies of the birds singing in the trees nearby or smelling the beautiful fragrance of a blossoming tree in the springtime as you walk by.

When you are living in the now, you are able to be more content with your life as it is, which releases the energy of resistance. Resistance is negative energy caused by having limiting feelings of doubt, worry, concern, anger, resentment, or fear. It’s formed by the feelings that make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy—it’s what holds you back from believing in your dreams. When you lose sight of your desires, it’s easy to have regretful thoughts of the past or worries of the future, which brings about more resistance. Having resistance blocks you from attaining your heart’s desires; it’s why you yearn for something more but doubt it is actually attainable. In the absence of resistance, you can just be and enjoy being in the present. It’s the serenity within, a sense of well-being, and a revelation of inner power, self-love, and strength. It’s living authentically.

If you feel disconnected with your authentic self, you can do the exercise on the following page each day until you feel as though you are living from your higher self authentically, without the thought of having to do so. This exercise can be done anywhere you feel comfortable and anywhere you will be undisturbed. As you begin this exercise, do so with an intention of releasing resistance to your higher self in order to more fully open your heart and mind to letting go of the negativity that keeps you from living your truth.

Connecting with Your Authentic Self Exercise

Sit comfortably, either on a chair or on the floor. Close your eyes and gently quiet your mind, letting go of your concerns in order to allow your mind to be empty and uninterrupted.

Take a few deep breaths slowly through your nose and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Imagine all your stress leaving your body with each exhale. What does your stress look like? Does it have a color, shape, or form to it? See it without judgment and then let it go. Visualize it vaporizing into thin air.

Now take a few more deep breaths with the intention of breathing in the goodness and vibrant energy of life. Imagine white light coming down from the heavens above and going through the crown of your head and filling each part of your body down to a cellular level. Feel the warmth of this light fill your heart and reenergize your soul. Feel the essence of your higher self within.

Give thanks for all that you are by expressing in your mind all the wonderful attributes you love about yourself. Breathe deeply once more and open your eyes: you will be in harmony with your authentic self.

Now, in the space on the following page or in a notebook dedicated to your journey, write down the feelings you experienced. You can come back to what you have written and read it again when you are having an off day to reconnect with your higher self to live authentically once more.

Distance From Our Authentic Selves Causes Suffering

When you are not living your truth by not being faithful to your authentic self, you will experience a sense of incompleteness, uneasiness, or inadequacy and will have a longing for something more: spiritual enlightenment, inner peace, and understanding.

You may have the “grass is greener on the other side” mentality and may constantly look outside yourself in search of happiness. You may incisively compare yourself to others in all aspects of your life, or you may feel as though you need to live up to everyone else’s expectations and wants, which, quite frankly, is exhausting!

At times we’ve all experienced trying to be something we’re not as we attempted to “fit in” at a social gathering or at school or tried to gain validation from those we looked up to or felt inferior to, only to feel worse about ourselves in the end. Trying to live up to someone else’s expectations only gives your power away, leaving you vulnerable, tired, and self-conscious. If you live life from your inauthentic self rather than your authentic self, your life will be difficult and unforgiving at times, and it may feel as if you’re stuck in an agonizing rut with little hope of a brighter tomorrow.

Unfortunately, we often accept stress in life as “normal,” but in actuality, the kind of stress we experience on a day-to-day basis is not normal at all. We weren’t created to live a life closed off from our higher self, and we weren’t created to constantly have intense stress either. In fact, we were created to thrive joyfully, filled with love, peace, and prosperity.

You may be wondering how to know if you are living authentically or not, which is a great question. To help you better comprehend when you are and when you are not living authentically, I made a list for you of what it feels like to live inauthentically versus authentically.

Inauthentic Self Feelings vs. Authentic Self Feelings

Feels Confused vs. Feels Optimistic

Feels a lack of self-confidence vs. Feels secure with self Doubts self and abilities vs. Is confident in decision making Makes excuses for actions vs. Is responsible for self Is judgmental vs. Loves self unconditionally Always tries to impress others vs. Is content with who they are Lives in guilt, is never good enough vs. Lives in an attitude of gratitude Constantly looks for the negative vs. Is optimistic and positive Gives into others’ desires vs. Stands up for morals and values Blames others vs. Accepts and forgives freely Has a victim mentality vs. Is empowered and believes in self Is shallow in thinking vs. Is mindful and takes action Has addictions vs. Lives healthily and exercises daily Feels overwhelmed and helpless vs. Is passionate about life Feels like running away vs. Shares joy and gives freely Feels anxious, fearful or contentious vs. Feels hopeful and has faith Has chatter constantly in their minds vs. Thinks intentionally Feels weak spiritually vs. Feels connected with God Feels unwanted or undeserving vs. Feels whole and complete

Living Authentically Takes Practice & Consistency

To live authentically, it takes continual practice and consistency. It is achieved by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions on a constant basis. Living from your higher self is the basis of living a beautiful, authentic life. As Steve Maraboli, author of Life, the Truth, and Being Free, explains, “There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.” How fun would that be to always be unapologetically you? I love that!

So when you feel “out of sorts,” take note and realize that the feeling is an internal alarm letting you know that you are “off track” with being in alignment with the real you and living authentically. To shift into a higher vibration to align with the real you, all you need to do is shift your thoughts toward being more positive in order to feel good. When you think positively, it will lead to another positive thought and so on, and soon you will feel good again, and you will be back on track with being in harmony with the truth that resides in you.

To help you reconnect with the real you and to stay on track with living authentically further down the road, I’ve listed ten empowering tips that will enable you to come to live your truth so you too can live authentically.

Meditate. Meditation is top on the list of daily exercises that will help you to be in harmony with your higher self. When you take time to quiet your mind and to ponder your inner feelings, you will open your energy field to receive divine inspiration and guidance, thus connecting you to your authentic self clearly and effortlessly.

Love. Loving yourself unconditionally is essential to creating an authentic connection with your higher self. Each time you look in the mirror, say something nice about yourself and then say, “I love you.”

Trust God. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has it right when it teaches its powerful motto, “Letting go and letting God.” Trust in God in all that you do. Believe and have faith that He is always with you. When you walk in faith, you have the light of Christ within you, which is the most powerful and highest energy of all. Faith always precedes the miracle. Put your trust and faith in God, and let Him lead your way and take care of the details of your life.

List Your Attributes. You have countless attributes. List what you love about you. Write down everything you love about yourself. Be generous in your compliments. If this seems strange, then write the list as though you were your best friend or your mother and list what you think they love most about you. With time, this exercise will become easier and you will be able to do it in the first person. The more you pay close attention to your attributes, the more often you will use those gifts to improve your way of life.

Ignore The Naysayers. You can’t fully accept and love yourself if you are constantly worried about the naysayers around you. Negativity is contagious, so steer clear of those who may not believe in your efforts. Leave those people behind by honoring your soul’s purpose by believing in you! When your loved ones and friends talk negatively, that will only bring you down. To deal with those situations, simply change the topic of discussion to something positive and uplifting. Let them learn by your positive example how to live authentically.

Balance Your Heart, Mind, & Spirit. Make spirituality a high priority each day. Pray often and live with a thankful attitude. Your spirit is what connects you to God; the sparkle in your countenance is a reflection of His light in you. Think positively, live intentionally, be thankful, forgive freely, exercise regularly, eat healthily, and get at least eight hours of quality sleep each night to balance your body, mind, and spirit daily.

Love Everything About You. Love the skin you are in. Love everything about you from the beautiful hairs on your head to your cute little toes. The more you accept all that you are just as you are, right this very moment, the more you will live your authentic self. You cannot live authentically if you deprive yourself of self-love, tenderness, and respect. Loving yourself fully is the foundation of living a thriving authentic way of life.

Let Go. Forgive & Forget. Let go of the past. Holding a grudge or negative feelings is like carrying around emotional garbage on your back everywhere you go, and it causes life to validate your feelings about why you continue to carry it. If you constantly berate yourself in your head about a past mistake–stop it! Let it go! Forgive and forget. Have a thankful heart and be grateful for the life lesson needed for your learning and expansion. Forgive and forget those who you feel have betrayed you or offended you. Let go of worries and concerns for the future—most of what we worry about never comes true anyway. By letting go and forgiving and forgetting, you will free your soul to live your truth with love and peacefulness within.

Live In the Moment. Simply be. Live in the splendor of the moment, for that is where your power lies. Breathe in the blissfulness of life by living in the now. You are that much more powerful when you are living in your truth and honoring that which you are.

Have a Charitable Heart. Charity is the pure love of Christ. When you serve and give freely to others, you are living from your higher self and are, in fact, living authentically. When you have charity in your heart and give often of your time, talents, monetary means, and/or service to others in need, you will soon find that you have so much more to be thankful for.

Chapter 2

Your Divine Birthright

Acknowledging our inner divinity as a step on the path to embodying it is not to be confused with narcissism or individualism since we must further admit that everyone’s Divine Birthright is the same limitless creational potential of unconditional love.

~ Sol Luckman

As a daughter of God, it is your Divine Birthright to have all the goodness life has to offer, from love and happiness to wealth and prosperity. It is your divine right and privilege to live abundantly. Each of us is spiritual in nature and is privileged to have a Divine Birthright that enables us to live wondrous lives filled with joy and abundance.

The immensity of the Universe is your birthright because of the Deity that resides within you. It enables each of us to receive our eternal inheritance, which God has set forth by allowing us to use our minds to create energy out of thought and emotion to manifest intentionally. You were born with the inherent powers from above that enable you to manifest your desires deliberately, with clarity of mind. As explained by James E. Faust: “To be a daughter of God means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential.” Isn’t that an awesome thought to truly comprehend? Because we are the offspring of Deity, we have inherited godly attributes and potential. In other words, we were divinely created to create and manifest as God does, by using the power of our minds.

The Universal Law of Divine Birthright demonstrates how it is our right, purpose, and gift to be deliberate creators. As a daughter of God, you were predestined to have all that your heart longs for. Your higher self already knows what you are destined to receive and become; your yearning to improve your quality of life stems from your higher self, which knows all that is meant to be in your life and therefore ignites desire, expansion, and enlightenment for you to receive. If it were not so, you would not long for more, you would cease to dream, and you would become dull to your feelings and emotions.

You were preordained to have a glorious life! And everything you dream of is possible because you are endowed with the power of God. You can attain whatever you set your mind to because you are created in God’s image; you are a creator. In other words, you are intended to receive your Divine Birthright simply by knowing of your grandeur and innate powers within and by walking in faith while knowing that you are indeed a spiritual being in physical form. It’s inconceivable to truly comprehend, but as you come to understand and accept the truthfulness of your Divine Birthright you will come to embrace it with all your heart.

Believe in the Divinity in You

Embracing your Divine Birthright begins by having faith in the divinity that is in you. How can you receive the glorious gifts and abundance that are in store for you if you don’t believe in your innate gifts and your power to create and manifest your goals and dreams? You simply can’t. When you fail to believe in the magnificence of who you are, you are limiting yourself from being in alignment with that which is meant for you. Everything you desire, all the love, good health, prosperity, inner peace, and happiness, comes from your Divine Birthright, and you can receive these things abundantly by being in alignment with your higher self.

However, you cannot receive that which was designed for you if you are not in alignment with your truth. You have to be in harmony with your higher self to receive your glorious birthright. You may be wondering, “How do I know if I’m in alignment with my truth?” You know by how you feel. When you feel full of love and joy, when you are happy for no particular reason, when you feel content about who you are, and when you have gratitude for your life as it is now, you are in alignment. To be able to receive your Divine Inheritance you must be in alignment with all that you are.

To clarify, here’s an example: Imagine you were to tell a friend that you wanted your favorite cake for your birthday, a decadent chocolate cake with fudge icing. And unbeknownst to you, she goes home and makes one. Then, she joyfully comes to your house to give it to you. When she knocks on your door, if you refuse to open it, then you will not be able to receive the delicious cake she made.

Being in alignment with your higher self is much the same. If you do not open your heart and mind to being in alignment with your true essence, you are blocking yourself from receiving that which is meant for you. It’s just like if you don’t open your door for your friend to receive the delicious cake she made especially for you. To be in alignment with your higher self requires that you stop thinking limiting thoughts of self-doubt or disbelief about yourself. Having negative thoughts is like trying to row a boat upstream—against white rapids. Going upstream against the current makes life harder and more difficult, but once you let go and stop struggling against the stream of life and allow your boat to softly turn and go down stream effortlessly, then life becomes pleasant, easy, and more satisfying. It is the same when you are in harmony with your higher self, your true essence within. When you live in accordance with your higher self, you are able to experience the joys and serenity of life around you as you come to receive and enjoy your Divine Birthright in all the goodness around you.

To know if you are in alignment and living up to your Divine Inheritance, take a look at your life as if you were a third person. Who and what do you see? Does your life reflect happiness, joy, and faith? Do you see yourself allowing and receiving that which you desire with ease? If not, then consider changing your self-perspective to that of self-love and reflect on the feelings of being worthy to receive. See yourself as you innately are: a divine being who is all-knowing, without limitations, and predestined to live a life filled with immeasurable love, joy, peace, and abundance. As you do, you will come to understand that you are a glorious being filled with love, truth, pure positive energy, and light.

It is, without question, your Divine Birthright to inherit a life filled with happiness, joy, and unlimited wealth, and it is these things that will enable you to rise above your follies and to become that which you desire to be. As Gordon B. Hinckley so eloquently clarified, “Live up to the great and magnificent inheritance which the Lord God, your Father in Heaven, has provided for you. Rise above the dust of the world. Know that you are daughters of God, children with a Divine Birthright. Walk in the sun with your heads high, knowing that you are loved and honored ...” (capitalization added).

When you love and honor all that you are and believe in your ability to create your life on purpose, you open your mind to receive divine inspiration, which will help you accomplish your goals and dreams in order to fulfill your Divine Birthright. It’s only when you connect with your truth within that the glorious wonders come to fruition to manifest what you desire. Isn’t that a wonderful thought to contemplate? All you have to do is connect with the truthfulness within you to unlock the door that has been keeping you from receiving your Divine Inheritance.

There is More Than Enough

Everything on Earth was created for all of God’s children to thrive. Even though it may seem difficult to comprehend, there is more than enough for all of us to flourish in all aspects of our lives—so much so that there’s always more than enough to share. There is so much immensity of abundance waiting to be created in our experience that we can’t even begin to grasp the vastness of the abundance we can create. God created the Universe and the Earth to provide His children with everything needed to live richly, from the food we eat to the money we make; it was all created for us. He blessed us with His love and guidance to understand His innate knowledge and blessed us with everlasting wisdom to know how to tap into the power of our minds to create our lives by design.

That burning desire to expand comes from your higher self, which is aware of your divine worth and your Divine Birthright, it’s what ignites your longing to “reach for the stars.” It’s what inspires you to have desires to achieve your dreams and allows you to relish in the gifts and treasures you manifest. Those feelings of wanting something more, which make you feel elated, joyful, excited, enthusiastic, and passionate about life, are validation that you are living from your higher self, which brings you into alignment with your Divine Birthright.

Although everything on Earth was made for you to prosper and to have joy, if you get stuck in limiting, self-destructive thought patterns, then you won’t be able to receive your Divine Inheritance. It is when we think restrictive negative thoughts that we limit our creative powers to manifest our dreams. When you have negative thoughts, you radiate a low vibration, and that is when you began to experience lack and limitation—it is the pessimistic pattern of thoughts and beliefs that keep you from receiving your marvelous inheritance.

Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts are extremely influential! What you think about most often, you will surely bring about by the power of the Universal Law of Attraction, which God created to allow each of us to live the life of our dreams. Limiting thoughts and beliefs keep you from having a prosperity consciousness. When you come to let go of those thoughts that bring you down, you open your heart and mind to receive abundantly. It’s when you focus on the negative that causes you to forget who you really are and forget that it is your Divine Birthright to live life filled with endless love, joy, and abundance of every kind.

If you have a hard time believing that there is enough, start counting your blessings and give your attention to what you already have and appreciate. For the next 30 days focus on what is working for you and what you have with gratitude in your heart. And before long, you will come to find how much more you will have to be grateful for. Having a positive mindset will bring about more to be thankful for—thus validating that there really is enough.

Free Yourself of Limiting Thoughts

Take a stand today and free yourself from the restrictive thoughts that are keeping you from enjoying your Divine Birthright. When you feel restless, anxious, afraid, uneasy, worried, or stressed out, you are keeping yourself from receiving your Divine Inheritance. Your feelings are always your internal guidance system, letting you know if you are on the right path to receive and enjoy your Divine Birthright or not. You cannot bask in the joys of God and receive His bountiful abundance if you are unwilling to shift your mindset from being negative and pessimistic to being positive and having faith in yourself and in God. How often do you catch yourself wishing for something better only to catch yourself complaining only moments later? We all do that now and again, but it is not conducive to attract our birthrights to us.

If you constantly have thoughts that make you feel unhappy or anxious, then try your best to release them by replacing them with hopeful thoughts that bring a smile to your face. Having negative thoughts will keep you from fulfilling your divine purpose and embracing your Divine Birthright, which is waiting in the invisible reality before you. You can choose to embrace your joyous birthrights and live happily, as you were meant to be, or you can choose to focus on what’s missing in your life—the choice is yours. Just as you are free to take what you are learning now or reject it. You have the agency to choose your thoughts, whether they keep you locked as a hostage in your mind or free you to soar amongst the stars. You get to decide how your life will be through your habitual thoughts and beliefs.

Whatever you set your attention upon, intentionally or not, sends out powerful, commanding energy into the Universe, and this outflow of energy causes like energy to flow back to you. This means that you attract like-minded people, circumstances, and events into your life, whether you like it or not. So if you constantly have undesirable thoughts that restrain you from living your truth, then you will not be able to attain your inheritance and enjoy the wonderment of your Divine Birthright. When you are focused on the negative you will attract negative people and situations into your life, making it more difficult to obtain your hopes and desires. Can you see how important it is to let go of negativity in your life if you truly want manifest your dreams?

Let Go of Negativity

Having contentious, negative feelings only brings about heartache and suffering, and unfortunately, people who fall into the habitual negativity trap create habits and false beliefs based on their negative mindset, which makes for an unhappy way to live. Contrary to what many who are stuck in negativity may believe, we are not destined to continually have heartache, suffering, and stress. We weren’t created to be that way, and that’s why it feels so uncomfortable when we lose sight of who were really are. Just as doting parents want the very best for their child, so does your Father in Heaven want the very best for you. We were meant to have joy! Just as the Lord teaches, “Men are that they might have joy,”[1] which means we were innately predestined to live a life filled with happiness as we receive our Divine Birthrights throughout our lives.

When you tune yourself into receiving all that is by allowing yourself to embrace and receive your Divine Birthright as it was created for you, you will attract your desires back to you. You cannot move forward in the direction of your dreams if you are continually looking back over your shoulder in despair. Nor can you receive that which you want when you are filled with doubt and disbelief. By releasing negative thoughts and beliefs you will shift into the energy of allowing, which will enable you to receive more love, joy, peace, happiness, and abundance at all levels of life. Doesn’t that sound a lot more appealing than being stuck in an emotional rut of limiting beliefs? We are all designed to live abundantly—it’s our birthright. So decide to let go of self-doubt and limiting beliefs and start believing in you to create a new self-affirming pattern of thought that will enable you to have that which is meant for you. Letting go of negativity will enable you to be more positive and hopeful to receive your Divine Birthright abundantly.

And as you shift your mindset to embrace your birthright, trust in God and in His timing and have faith that He is always watching over you. It’s when we focus on the things that we don’t want in our lives that we cut ourselves off from being in alignment with His will for us to succeed. Begin by believing in your innate powers; you have all that is needed to create the life of your dreams. Do so by focusing on your heart’s desires with thankfulness; this will enable you to let go of negativity easier. As you become more positive you will feel more joy within. Having a positive mindset is the key to unlocking your vast treasures that await you in all areas of your life. Isn’t that a thrilling thought? As you move forward in the direction of your dreams, embrace all that you are with a smile on your face and a skip in your step, knowing that you are of divine worth and that it is your Divine Birthright to live a life filled with wondrous joy, happiness, and immeasurable abundance.

You Are Magnificent

Did you know that you are magnificent? And that you are more powerful than all the energy on Earth? Your higher self is what makes you magnificent. It is what enables you to be in your power, to be clear-minded, joyful, thankful, forgiving, and kind. When you are living from your higher self, you are in your true power—embracing your magnificence within! You can be in alignment with the Deity that resides in you—that created worlds and Universes without end—simply by being in alignment with the truthfulness of who you are. There is no greater power than that which resides in you. Being one person who is in alignment with your higher self and with God’s energy is more powerful than billions of people who are not.

God knows what it is that you want and what is meant for you, and He is continually orchestrating the Universe to bring that which your heart desires to come to you when you believe and walk in faith. As you come to align yourself with your intuitive powers, be mindful of your thoughts and think about what you want to create with the end in mind. Knowing that you are magnificent and that you can create your life intentionally places universal laws into action, which enables you to bring your desires to fruition.

When you focus your attention on being in alignment with God and your higher self, you will be in the energy of creating and receiving great abundance to fill your soul with joy. You will be able to create your life on purpose, which means living in a space of love, charity, faith, and desire. Doesn’t that sound delightful? Everything you want is possible to achieve if you are able to focus your desires continually by aligning yourself with God and your magnificence within.

To revel in the deliciousness of life more fully, stop looking at all your imperfections and flaws and recognize your beauty and strengths. We all have imperfections, and we all make mistakes, but that doesn’t subtract from who we really are. Let go of self-doubt and immerse your mind in self-love, hope, and faith. Trust yourself to align with all that is. Being in alignment is being in the energy of God—or in other words, being who you profoundly are.

Being in tune with your higher self and with God is the key to unlocking the vast treasures of your Divine Birthright. When you are one with God, you will have pureness of heart. Why? Because that is what you are. You are glorious and magnificent; you are a child of God.

It’s an awesome thought to realize that we were created to succeed! We were meant to thrive! It’s merely our limiting beliefs that hold back our ability to receive. To overcome the natural-man way of thinking, embrace the love and light of God that resides in you more fully by listening to the promptings of your heart and not your mind.

The Spirit of God is Constantly Guiding You

The Spirit of God is constantly guiding you and directing your path if you but listen to the still, small voice within. You can accomplish anything you desire when you let go of your rational thinking and allow the essence of life to flow effortlessly through you. Doing so will bring about feelings of peace and reassurance if the thoughts you are pondering are best for you. The more you follow your guidance and intuition, the brighter your light will shine and the more fully you will sense your magnificence within.

We often get so caught up in the chaos and confusion of the outside world that we fail to remember that we are the same Divine Intelligence that created the Universe and galaxies without end. When you give your attention to the bountiful beauty that surrounds you, you will soon find just how miraculous and giving life actually is. And when you quiet your mind, you will realize that you are indeed magnificent. You will create new beliefs within that support your hopes and dreams to enable you to blissfully enjoy your Divine Inheritance.

Come to believe that you deserve to live the life of your dreams and deserve to receive your Divine Birthright. Pray for faith if you lack belief, and let go of that which is holding you back from aligning yourself with all that you are. God wants what is best for you, now and always. You, without a doubt, deserve to receive all that your heart longs for and much, much more!

How to Be in Alignment with Your Divine Birthright Exercise

To enjoy the bounty of your Divine Birthright, you need to be in alignment with that which you desire. To help you better understand when you are in harmony with your Divine Birthright, here is a simple exercise that you can do.

On the following page or in a notebook, write down a few of your fondest dreams that seem realistic to you. Write down what you would like to be, do, or have. Then, next to each dream, write how you feel about being able to fulfill that dream. If you feel doubt, then know that you are NOT in alignment with what you want. However, if you believe you really can and will achieve your dream, then know that you ARE in alignment with your Divine Birthright, which means you will surely be able to manifest that which you believe.

If you are not in alignment with your dream, then cross out your limiting thought and write a powerful thought or belief next to that dream such as an affirmation. Keep those new affirming thoughts in mind every time you think of your dreams and before long, you will find that you no longer have doubt that dreams really can come true.

Have fun cultivating your dreams. You can do this exercise often to help you override your limiting beliefs to have a powerful mindset of creation, which will enable you to take pleasure in the gifts and treasures of your Divine Birthright that are waiting for you to receive.

Chapter 3

Who Do You See?

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

~ Norman Vincent Peale When you look in the mirror who do you see? Do you see a beautiful woman of royal birth reflecting back at you? Do you love the woman you see? Do you think kindly of yourself as you look at the shape of your body in a full-length mirror, or do you focus on what you don’t like about yourself and mumble harsh words under your breath as you walk away?

As women, it’s common to judge ourselves as we put ourselves down and compare ourselves to others we deem superior. It’s crazy how we’re inclined to criticize ourselves for small mistakes that we made or feel upset when we don’t accomplish our endless to-do lists. We also have a tendency to fail to see our inner beauty (as well as our physical beauty) or pat ourselves on the back for a “job well done.” We continually compare ourselves to movie stars, family, friends, coworkers, and even models in magazines that have been digitally altered—we compare ourselves to images that are not even real! By repeatedly fault finding, we engage in self-destructive behavior, which lowers our self-image and causes us to have low self-worth and a lack of self-belief. How often do you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself as you flip through magazines or when you go shopping or to the gym?

It’s a shame that we seldom seem “good enough” in our own eyes or feel as accomplished as those we look up to. Constantly thinking untruths such as “I’m not good enough,” results in self-sabotage and insecurities that leave a desolate trail of devastation and disappointment behind you. It may seem as if the neighbor next door has the “perfect life” or doesn’t have a care in the world, you may notice a coworker who has a “perfect figure” and who is always dressed to the hilt, you might be envious of a friend who is “highly successful” and thrives in the luxuries of life, yet when you think of your own life and capabilities it seems as if you’re the only one struggling and that life is unfair.

Does any of this sound familiar? Even though it may seem as though others have a “perfect life” or the perfect family, in actuality we all have our ups and downs. While it may seem as if those around you have it together more often than not, most likely they really don’t. You know the old adage, “You can’t judge a book by its cover”? It’s much the same when we compare ourselves to others—rarely what we perceive from a distance is actually the whole story.

Regardless of why you feel mediocre, having a detrimental frame of mind about yourself is not conducive to your desire to want to improve your quality of life. By not having faith in your infinite potential within, you limit your capability to believe in yourself, which is the most vital aspect of creating deliberately. Your beliefs stem from how you were raised and conditioned from childhood. If you’re stuck in thinking, “Life is hard and only the lucky ones are rich or have a happy life” then you’re sadly mistaken. You’re only holding yourself back by these false beliefs. It’s the dominant paradigm in your mind—disbelief—that’s keeping you from making more money, feeling good about yourself, caring for your body as you should, and believing in your divine gifts and talents in order to achieve your dreams. Can you see how negative self-talk limits your capacity to believe in yourself, which is the connection to infinite wisdom within?

The Power of Self-Talk

We also tend to fall short of believing in ourselves by having endless negative self-talk. How often do you catch yourself putting yourself down? Unfortunately, we’re all guilty of that—no one is free of self-criticism. When our habitual inner dialog is more negative than positive then it interferes with cultivating our self-belief to accomplish our goals. You may be struggling with low self-worth and have undesirable inner dialogue because subconsciously you feel unworthy of true happiness, love, and abundance. The programs in your mind, which came from years of conditioning from family, peers, and your environment, may have created false beliefs, for example: life is just discriminating to you but not to those you see prospering affluently. When in fact, success and failure has nothing to do with discrimination, it only has to do with what you think and believe about yourself.

Harnessing negative feelings about yourself is basically like holding a grudge against you. Such behavior shatters your self-image, only to be trodden on by you and others around you. It’s no wonder you feel lousy when your thoughts are constantly belittling you—it’s not a fun way to live. When you are filled with self-doubt and fears, you are keeping yourself from improving your quality of life. You are free to choose your thoughts to create the life you desire—or not. Such malicious thoughts of having negative self-worth generate terrible feelings that restrict you from having a sense of well-being and happiness and trusting in your ability to succeed.

When you constantly think poorly about yourself, it directly affects all aspects of your life in unpleasant ways. You feel unsatisfied. You feel fearful and anxious and undeserving. You feel as if the world owes you and that you’re not capable of living a better way of life. Most of us don’t realize that all aspects of our outside world are a reflection of our inner world and what we believe about ourselves. Can you see how your negative self-talk and low self-beliefs are evident in various aspects of your life? The life you are living now is a reflection of your past thoughts, feelings, and emotions and demonstrates what you believe you can or cannot have.

We also tend to have negative feelings about ourselves when we cling onto the memories of past mistakes or poor choices we made. It may seem like beating yourself up with negative self-talk is what you deserve, but guess what? You couldn’t be more wrong! You are a celestial being with infinite potential and intelligence within that is more powerful than you can possibly realize. You have Godly powers that flow through you continually all day, every day, which enable you to create and manifest with clarity and intention.

But this power can only be tapped into if you love and believe in yourself with all your heart. Your perception of you is evident in all you do. How happy you are, how much money you make, where you live, and what you believe you can accomplish signifies what you think and how you feel about yourself. Stop and reflect on your life. Do you see how your thoughts, feelings, and emotions have molded your life up to this point? Can you see how what you believe about money is how much money you make or how your beliefs about love are apparent in your life?

How you think and feel about yourself will either make or break you. If you believe that life is hard, then guess what? It will be. Because of the Law of Attraction, you will always attract what you believe. You don’t deserve to suffer, so why would you choose to stay in a negative mindset? Punishing yourself constantly with feelings of regret or guilt is neither constructive nor kind. Wherever your insecurity originates from, know that you can break free from the emotional bondage by letting your negative feelings go. Decide here and now to give your sorrows to the Lord and do your best to think positively. You can have more inner peace and honor your truth within by giving your regrets to the Savior. Have faith in knowing that you don’t need to carry heavy burdens within anymore. You can become lighthearted once again by releasing your hold on the pains of the past and have self-love and powerful self-belief.

As you shift your mindset, keep in mind that your subconscious mind is always at work vibrationally communicating with the Universe and those around you about your belief system, which is made factual through your life experiences. Case in point: when you think of an unwanted experience repeatedly in your mind, your subconscious mind (also referred to as the emotional mind) literally thinks it’s actually happening over and over again. This belief then attracts similar experiences to you that confirm and validate the emotions of fear and despair.

Your subconscious mind accepts everything you see in your mind’s eye as fact. That’s why you get scared while watching a frightening movie or laugh out loud while watching a comedy. It’s because your mind becomes engulfed in the images you are watching, and it thinks it is perceiving reality. So it is with life. Our subconscious mind takes what we think about most as reality, and it does all it can to attract more of it back. That’s why you must first change the thoughts and feelings inside of you to change what you experience on the outside.

You are Not Your Thoughts

It may seem as if your emotions are “you” because they seem so real, but you are not your thoughts and emotions. They are only a guidance system, letting you know if you are on the right path or pursuing your highest good. When you feel good and content, you are on the right path, and when you feel out of sorts, you’re not. The mind is a connection between your spirit and God. It is also a means of survival, and that is why you tend to recall what scared or hurt you more often than you remember what brought you happiness.

The mind also likes to play havoc with our thoughts and emotions, especially if left unattended to roam wild. But when you take control of your mind by thinking intentionally and with purpose, you shift your mindset away from negative, wild thoughts, and you are more capable of harnessing the infinite powers of your mind.

By learning to control your thoughts, you become the master of your mind, and being the master of your mind is powerful! It is what enables you to love and believe in yourself fully, which allows you to connect with your higher self and with God. It is the vessel of creation—both of wanted and unwanted life experiences. It is constantly sending out impulses and desires into the Universe, reflections of your dominate thoughts, which attract people and circumstances that match your point of attraction back to you. So if you have a nasty habit of thinking negatively about yourself or of others, you are not doing yourself any favors; you are basically blocking yourself from your innate powers within that are connected to the heavens above and that would otherwise bless your life abundantly.

When you have negative self-talk, you have resistance to that which you desire. It’s why you feel frustrated or contentious within. Resistance stops that which you long for from coming to you—it’s like a great big cinderblock wall. Resistance and self-doubt work the same way as the wall; they create an energy that is impenetrable if not dealt with, and the only way to deal with it is to let go of the limiting thoughts and false beliefs that you have about yourself. Having negative self-talk becomes a constant obstacle if you don’t take daily action toward creating new beliefs.

Fortunately, the energetic wall can come down block by block through improving your thought process bit by bit and changing your tendency to think negatively to a pattern of positive self-talk. The more you think kindly of yourself, the more you will have a sense of love, joy, and peace. Your mind is your greatest tool of creation, including creating a healthy belief system about you.

When you feel unhappy or catch yourself thinking or speaking unkind words, make it a point to stop and replace your thoughts with powerful, loving thoughts that make you feel good. When you make a mistake and say out of habit, “I’m so stupid,” quickly substitute that thought with, “I’m awesome; I simply made a mistake.” It will take time to create new a thought program of positive self-talk and admiration for all that you are, so be patient with yourself until it becomes a natural way of thinking. Before long, your outside world will indeed reflect your inside world, attracting back to your newly created beliefs.

C’est La Vie

We all have negativity about ourselves now and again, but rather than giving into it, perform an act of kindness for yourself and say c’est la vie! Just as you wouldn’t let someone you love beat themselves up verbally time and time again, neither should you! It cankers your soul when you continuously relive unwanted memories over and over again in your mind or put yourself down for not accomplishing all that you wanted to. Being hard on yourself is just plain mean. It’s not a nice way to live, so why do it?

Many of us unknowingly hold onto pains of the past as “proof” to ensure that everyone knows why we’re so unhappy or mad, when ultimately it does nothing but bring more heartache, suffering, and pain to ourselves! You don’t need to continue to beat yourself up by replaying uninvited memories—it doesn’t do you any good. Instead, make peace with those recollections by forgiving yourself and those involved by consciously making a choice to let them go. Look for the life lessons learned along the way that were meant to help you expand and grow to become the magnificent woman you are today.

Like I said before, we all have our ups and downs. No one is without either fault or mistake nor is anyone perfect. And guess what? That’s okay! Without mistakes, how can we learn and grow? How can we expand our knowledge and desire for life? We can’t. Making mistakes is part of the process of expansion. It’s good to make mistakes because we learn from them, and it’s okay when you slip-up because that’s what apologies are for. By coming to understand that you really can be in control of your life by letting go of limiting beliefs, you will free your soul to lead the way to immense joy, love, and abundance.

When you begin to think and speak lovingly and kindly of yourself, everything about you will begin to improve. You will come to believe in yourself and in your innate abilities to create intentionally. You will have a higher self-esteem, and you will be happier and more content with your life too. It never ceases to amaze me just how powerful self-talk is—it creates every aspect of life. Resolve today to let go of negative self-talk once and for all by practicing thinking kindly about yourself to reveal the limitless power and truth that resides in you.

The Power of Self-Confidence

By loving yourself and speaking kindly to yourself, you will radiate inner belief and self-worth like a beacon of light. Your self-image is how you see yourself within your mind and what you believe you can achieve. These perceptions are what create feelings of confidence or the lack thereof. When you live from your higher self and believe in your dreams, knowing they will come true, you become powerful and can literally create the life you desire deliberately. Having confidence in yourself is what attracts wonderful people, circumstances, and events into your life. When you live from your higher self, you are able to utilize your infinite power within.

When you are confident, you harness the power within you. It’s like when you were a child and played with a magnifying glass outside on a hot summer’s day. Similar to the magnifying glass, which can capture and funnel the energy of the sun into a pure beam of white energy, so can you capture the energy within you with your thoughts and beliefs. Just as you played with a magnifying glass over a piece of paper, when the sun’s energy is concentrated on the paper for a period of time, the heat of the energy will light the paper on fire. So it is when you live from your higher self. You can laser in on your desires by taking inspired action to create and manifest with intention.

When you believe in your infinite potential to create what you set forth to do, you radiate a beam of a particular energetic frequency out into the universe. And before long, doors open before you where before there were only walls, people show up to help you, and your family relationships and friendships improve as you live in your power. To top it all off, your body, health, and wellness begin to transform too—every aspect of your life enlarges when you laser focus your attention on creating a higher belief system about yourself.

To improve every aspect of your life, begin by improving your self-talk to radiate self-worth. When an old negative thought pattern comes to mind, don’t try to fight it or obliterate it—that just gives more energy to the negativity. Instead, simply let it go and replace it with a thought that makes you feel good. Doing so regularly will create a new self-belief system, which will increase your self-confidence and inspire you to believe in your ability to accomplish all that you desire.

How to Think Confidently

Some of my clients have a rough time thinking positively about themselves in the beginning stages of their coaching. To help them get over the initial shyness of speaking and thinking confidently about themselves, I have them tell me their attributes as if they were a third person looking at themselves adoringly. It’s always helpful for them to see themselves more clearly and express what they like about themselves from a different perspective. You can try it too if you find it difficult to think highly of yourself.

To give it a try, look at yourself from afar in your mind’s eye as if you were your own best friend. What positive attributes do you see and appreciate when looking at you? Compliment yourself freely. If you have troubles with this exercise, recruit a close friend or a family member to help. Ask her to express the positive traits and qualities that she sees in you. As she does, listen closely to what she says and accept the compliments she gives you with thankfulness. Hearing her tell you how magnificent you are will help you to resonate with the truth of who you are. It will also help you to be able to repeat the words in your mind as you focus on believing in yourself and having positive self-talk when you reflect back on this exercise.

Another influential way to shift your thoughts from negative self-talk to confidence is to refocus your attention on the present moment and on what you are thankful for. Give your attention to what you appreciate about yourself at that point in time. Compliment yourself on your beautiful hair or your stunning outfit or appreciate that you made another person smile when you smiled at them. The more you focus on what you appreciate and are thankful for, the more your mind will become positive and optimistic and the more confident you will be.

Royal Reflection

One day, while I was riding my beloved Friesian stallion, Apollo, in a dressage lesson, we rode past a mirror attached to a wall that allows equestrians to see their position in the saddle. We had passed that mirror many times before, but that day Apollo happened to see his reflection as we trotted by. As he noticed the big, black stallion looking back at him, he instantly thought it was another impressive stallion, and without hesitation, he puffed up as stallions do and called out in his loud stallion call letting the “other horse” know that he was, in fact, the most magnificent of the two. Little did he know that the image reflecting in the mirror was actually him! His experience is very similar to our own; time and again we glance in a mirror and fail to notice or comprehend that the royal reflection staring back at us is our true essence. We fail to realize just how glorious we truly are.

When you come to acknowledge your royal self, you will come to believe in yourself more fully, and your confidence will soar. It’s exhilarating when you come to realize just how remarkable you really are. To help you believe in your royal magnificence within, celebrate you by showering yourself with TLC daily. Express kindness in your words and actions, make it a point to eat healthy and exercise regularly, and remember to shower and dress nicely each day. Doing so will uplift your spirit and will increase your self-assurance in a big way. As you go about your day, when you see a reflection of yourself in a mirror or window as you walk by, take a moment to remind yourself just how much you truly love all that you are.

Sandy came to me wanting to lose weight; she was very unhappy with her life. She had low self-esteem and lacked confidence. She believed that she could only be beautiful if she lost weight, even though she was absolutely beautiful both inside and out. But because of her false beliefs about herself, she couldn’t see her exquisiteness reflecting back at her when she looked in a mirror. She was constantly comparing herself to others, which brought about feelings of insecurity and loathsome self-talk.

Before coming to me for help, Sandy had tried all the latest fad diets. She would lose weight now and again only to gain all the weight back and more shortly afterward. Before long, she gave up on dieting and figured she would just have to endure being overweight. She had fallen into the trap of self-sabotaging herself with her limiting self-talk and beliefs. Her negative mindset induced emotional hunger, which brought about intense cravings for unhealthy foods continuously throughout the day.

After Sandy came to understand how powerful her self-talk and beliefs were about herself, she came to appreciate the importance of loving herself and body as it was right then. Her new, self-supporting beliefs occurred as a result of her coaching with me; she began to shift her mindset from being critical of herself to being admirable, kind, loving, and respectful. And by doing so, she naturally began to eat healthier and began to desire to exercise regularly. Before her coaching, she had been filled with resistance and she wouldn’t even entertain the idea.

Slowly but surely, the weight came off and stayed off. She was able to reduce her weight with less effort because she was no longer beating herself up emotionally. She came to believe in herself and learned to love and appreciate her body as it was. Her body finally had a positive environment to thrive in, and boy did it ever! She looked like a new woman; she radiated self-love and joy. She became empowered and happier than ever once she came to truly love and believe in herself. She soon understood what it meant when I taught her to love and embrace her divine self. She came to cherish that she was born of royal birth. It was magical to see the changes in her beliefs reflected in the changes in her physical reality.

Just as Sandy was able to transform her life and body in remarkable ways by becoming more confident, so can you! When you love yourself completely, it allows your body to become that which you desire it to be. The more you love all that you are, the more you will believe in your ability to flourish joyously and abundantly. Remember, you are a powerful creator of pure positive energy, truth, and light; therefore, what you firmly believe you can surely achieve. Once you come to love yourself with all your heart, you will have self-love, self-belief, inner peace, self-acceptance, and endless joy. Isn’t that what we all long for? Make it a point to speak and think kindly of yourself and see yourself as you are—a radiant woman of powerful creative energy and light.

Shifting Your Paradigm

Did you know that how you feel about yourself dictates everything you do? It’s true. Your beliefs about yourself have shaped your life and body, resulting in what it is today. Your self-image is a reflection of your upbringing and conditioning. It’s why you like the foods you do and speak the way you do. It’s why you make the money you make and live in the home that you do. It’s also why you have love in your life or not. All of these aspects of your life are caused by your self-image, otherwise known a paradigm. A paradigm is just a bunch of habitual thoughts that create a belief. Everything we do is based on paradigms in our minds. That’s why you can have two people from the same family be completely different. Both are smart and raised the same, but what they believe about themselves is totally different. The one who believes she can be successful will be, and the other, who is filled with self-doubt, can be a complete failure. To shift a paradigm is to shift what you believe in yourself, which will improve your self-image and directly improve your standard of life.

To shift your paradigm to improve your self-image, begin by changing your inner dialogue and thought patterns to create new beliefs that support your desires for improvement and expansion. Repetition is key. The more you focus on nurturing your self-worth by believing in you, the more your mind will believe what you think. A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking over and over again. That’s why not everything you believe is true. The habitual, undesirable thoughts that bounce around in your conscious mind and subconscious mind are what create your beliefs—either true or false. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference; it simply believes what you think about most. Many of us have false beliefs about ourselves, which is why we struggle to attain our dreams. Case in point, you may yearn deeply to be in shape but if you believe that doing what it takes is too hard to do then you will continue to find excuses why you can’t exercise; the limiting paradigm in your mind is keeping you from taking action to be fit. It’s how we see ourselves within that creates our reality. So can you see how vital it is to improve your self-image?

When you think about creating the life of your dreams how do you see yourself? Do you imagine yourself loving your new way of life? Do you feel excited and optimistic about being able to accomplish your goals? If so then that signifies that you have positive beliefs about that which you want to manifest. Likewise, if you constantly focus on what’s lacking in your life and get a knot in your stomach or feel uneasy, that signifies that you do not believe it’s possible to attain your dreams, which will keep you from achieving what you want. For instance, if you constantly worry about money, then your belief is money is hard to come by. Then guess what? You’re right; money will be hard to come by because that is your belief about the subject of money, which will block more money from coming to you.

Always pay attention to how you feel. Your feelings are your guidance system letting you know if you are on track with your desires or not. Your body is constantly communicating and letting you know if you have positive or negative beliefs about various aspects of your life by the way you feel. If you stop to think about it, you will find that the areas in your life that you do well in you feel good about, and the areas in your life that you find difficult are the areas you have do not feel good about.

To create a new, powerful belief system about yourself, you simply need to have more positive thoughts about yourself than undesirable thoughts. When adverse thoughts arise and you catch yourself thinking something critical of yourself just think, “That was the old me.” Then replace that thought with a positive thought about something you appreciate and love about yourself or focus on the end result of what you desire. That thought will then lead to another positive thought and then another…which will help you to shift into a higher vibration. The better you feel, the higher your vibration. That vibrational shift will make you increase your mood, making it easier to be able to get back on track with having positive self-talk.

You can also have a mental game plan to help you stay on track with being positive. Figure out ahead of time what to think about when negative thoughts and feelings arise. For instance, every time you catch yourself thinking, “I need to lose weight. I’m too fat,” replace that thought with, “I love being me. I am always at my ideal bodyweight.” You can use this approach for whatever topic you struggle with. This tactic will assist you with letting go of unwanted thoughts without judgment, which will enable your mind to override negative thinking and return to powerful, positive, uplifting thoughts to create new powerful beliefs. Using the example above, if you want to reduce your weight then you have to think positive thoughts. You can’t go around all day thinking, “I’ll be attractive once I lose weight.” If you do, all you will see is the “fat” because that is what you are focused on, not the beautiful woman you are. Thinking thoughts of being overweight will only keep you fat, which will keep you stuck emotionally. Once again, your body will be an expression of your beliefs, and you will continue to battle with your weight.

Being mindful of your thoughts consistently will reinforce new, powerful, self-sustaining beliefs that will shift the paradigm in your mind. When you are happy on the inside, you are happy on the outside, which brings out your light and beauty from within. As you shift your paradigm from self-doubt to self-belief, you will soon discover that you look at yourself differently when you look in the mirror. No longer will you have ill, self-criticizing thoughts, but quite the opposite: you will see the radiant woman that you are reflecting back at you.

Resolve to Speak Kindly & Love You!

Make a resolve to speak kindly, gently, and lovingly to yourself. Let your heart sing with delight by letting go of any self-inflicted discord within that does not serve you. If you have a difficult time thinking positively about yourself, you can do the quick exercise below to help unblock and release negative energy.

Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. On the left side, write down what bothers you about yourself. On the right side, write down what you love about yourself. After you complete your list circle the right side of loving thoughts, and put a great big X over the left side. Then set an intention to release the limiting beliefs you wrote down on the left side and rip the paper in two down the middle. Take the left side of the ripped paper with the big X on it and rip it up into small pieces and throw it away, feeling the relief of negativity flow out of you as you do. Then fill your soul with the love and light the right side represents. Place the right side of the paper with your list of what you love about yourself where you can read it anytime you feel down. (This is an emotional clearing tool that you can use anytime you feel overwhelmed or discouraged about any subject that’s bothering you.) After you have come to see all your beautiful attributes, you will be able to love and accept all that you are with a smile on your face and a heart full of gratitude. When you love yourself passionately and completely, your world will reflect back to you the new self-love and belief that you have. Everything in your life is a reflection of how you feel about yourself in all aspects of your life. If you want to improve your quality of life, then you must first come to love and believe in you!

Below is a list of how your life can improve simply by speaking kindly to yourself and being mindful of loving you.

When You Speak Kindly & Love Yourself …You have more loving relationships.

You attract like-minded people.

You are more forgiving.

You are less judgmental.

You have more success at work.

You have a loving home.

You have better health.

You heal faster from an illness.

You have a higher immune system.

You are happier and have a more carefree attitude.

You have a better self-image.

You feel confident.

You are more satisfied with all areas of your life.

You lose weight more easily.

You attract more loving people in your life.

The list can go on and on...

By speaking kindly and truly loving yourself, you will come to believe in all that you are. Believing in yourself and by having admiration, self-love, and respect, you will begin to improve any aspect of you that you choose. Learn to love everything about yourself just as you are now to shift your paradigm. Having a positive self-image and confidence is one of the most powerful things you can do to enable you to live the life of your dreams.

Chapter 4

Learning to Love YOU

Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you, despite their faults.

~ Les Brown

You can never learn to love yourself if you continue to have self-doubt and unforgiving thoughts. How can you come to love yourself if you are constantly thrashing yourself emotionally with negative thinking? You can’t. Thinking negatively about yourself counteracts self-love and lowers your self-worth. It doesn’t matter how justified you feel or how much evidence you have that supports your destructive feelings; if you choose to hold onto ill feelings, for whatever the reason, you will never be able to have a life filled with the love your heart desires.

Our individual faults and flaws are what make us each unique and extraordinary, and they make us all the more beautiful. When we acknowledge and embrace our imperfections, we open our hearts to our glory! Without your flaws, you wouldn’t be who you are today. Without your mistakes, you wouldn’t want to expand your awareness and you wouldn’t want to learn and grow to become all that you were destined to be.

When you accept yourself unconditionally, you shift your awareness from “not being good enough” to “I am amazing! I can accomplish anything I choose!” Self-acceptance soothes the soul and brings peace and serenity within. When you accept yourself for who you are, you will no longer seek validation from your peers as a source of security, nor will you try to fit in with others. You will simply be your magnificent self.

In my youth, I remember comparing myself to my various groups of friends at school and how uncomfortable it felt. It wasn’t until I came to love myself that I no longer felt as if I had to fit in and felt that I could just be me. And as a result, I felt more self-assured, and I made new friends who loved me for me without requiring an apology for who I was. I had a lot more confidence. It was so refreshing to realize that all I needed to do was to love myself just the way I was in order to be self-assured in all that I did.

When you come to adore everything about yourself, you will accept yourself for who you are, just as you are. Love truly heals all wounds, including self-inflected ones. You can have all the love, joy, and happiness you long for. If you don’t appreciate who you are, then now is the time to let go of any disbeliefs you have and open you heart and mind to believe in you! Realize that you are of infinite worth, and rise to that which you are: a woman of infinite potential and ability. You are a creator! As I have discussed, you literally have the capability to create your life as you wish it to be simply by loving and believing in your glorious self.

When you fall into an emotional funk and feel as if the world isn’t exactly on your side, don’t throw in the towel and give up. Your higher self goes bonkers when you do that! Instead, simply look for parts of yourself that you admire and appreciate and give your attention to what brings joy to your heart. Whenever you feel unhappy or frustrated, remember that it’s just your higher self letting your body know that you are “off course.” Negative feelings are designed to encourage you to do an emotional U-turn to get back on track, which makes you feel good to live a joyful way of life—as you were created to be.

When you are down and out, rather than sulking, think of your emotions as your internal GPS. Your feelings are your eternal guidance system letting you know if you are on the path in accordance with your higher self and God’s will for you. Your higher self is one with God’s light and love; it will always try to lead you down the straight and narrow path of truth and happiness through your emotions and intuition. When you feel overwhelmed or have self-doubt, take a few deep breaths and realize that you can change your thoughts and change your mood to get you going in the right direction again for your highest good.

Whenever I’m in a not-so-good mood, I shift my negative energy to positive energy by proclaiming out loud, “I love myself! I love my life! Thank you for all that I am!” Speaking the words out loud with emotion always helps me shift into a higher vibration and makes me feel better. You can do the same to help you improve your mood, even when you don’t especially love your life at that moment in time. Proclaiming your intention with enthusiasm will literally shift your energy from a low vibrational frequency to a higher vibrational energy frequency, which will align yourself with your higher self and with God. This alignment will ease your stress, making you feel better. Your words have energy that directly influences and affects your body, mind, and spirit. Look for the good in all that you do, and acknowledge your good deeds and triumphs by expressing how proud you are of you.

How I Came to Love Myself Fully

Years ago, when I was starting my fitness-modeling career, I would constantly complain about my physique; I never seemed “good enough.” One evening, as I was preparing for a modeling photo shoot I had been hired to do the following morning, I looked in the mirror and mumbled negative comments how I wasn’t up to par in my obscured vision of myself. As I was saying unkind words under my breath as I critiqued my physique, my husband walked in and looked at me with a concerned look on his face; he had overheard what I was saying. As he approached me with compassion in his eyes he said, “Why do you beat yourself up all the time? You look amazing! You should be proud of yourself!” I had heard those words from him many times before, but this time it hit me like a ton of bricks, square over my head! His words pierced my soul. I thought to myself, “He’s right! Why do I beat myself up all the time?”

His comment made me reflect on how I really felt about myself. I felt awful about how I had been treating my body, and then I felt guilty about how unappreciative I was for my body, which God had blessed me with. In that moment, it was as if my spirit stepped out of my body for a moment and looked at my body as its own entity. I felt terrible about how I had been treating it. From that day forward, I began to truly bless and thank my body as if it were a third person. When old, negative self-talk thought patterns came to mind, I would instantly replace them with positive, loving, self-supporting thoughts that uplifted my spirit rather than break it down.

It was astonishing to see my physique transform even more once I began to truly love all that I was. I also felt better physically; I was happier, had more energy, was more patient, and took pride in my fitness accomplishments. And I began getting more modeling jobs too. My life and body improved because I came to love everything about myself. By doing so, I was able to bring my body, mind, and spirit into harmony. When I went to modeling castings and got booked for modeling jobs, it wasn’t that I was the prettiest or the most in shape—there was prettier, more in-shape talent than me—it was because I believed in me and loved all that I was. I radiated an energy of confidence, self-love, and happiness, which attracted the booking agent to select me.

Believing and loving yourself without judgment or cynicism is the foundation to create the life and body of your dreams. If you don’t believe in yourself, then your vibration within will broadcast inadequacy; that is a low energy that does not serve—it only attracts more of what you don’t want. Think of self-love as the mixing bowl of life. If you wanted to make a delicious cake but didn’t have a mixing bowl, then it wouldn’t matter that you had all the ingredients, a spatula, a mixer, and an oven to bake it in. Without a mixing bowl, you couldn’t mix the ingredients necessary to make a cake—no matter how much you wanted to. The ingredients, spatula, mixer, and oven represent your hopes and dreams. The mixing bowl is love for yourself, which is necessary to create your delicious cake. Without self-love and acceptance, you can’t align with your higher self, which is your God-given source of all creation.

Practicing self-acceptance and having unconditional self-love will increase your faith and beliefs to succeed, which enable your goals and dreams to come fruition. It’s the key that unlocks the vast treasures that await you once you come into alignment with it. When was the last time you really took time to pamper yourself with TLC? When you take the time to be extra kind to yourself, that behavior validates in your subconscious mind that which you desire: love, acceptance, belief, and faith.

By accepting yourself fully just as you are, you open your heart to give and receive love. We all want to be loved, and we all want to feel safe and secure, which comes from loving who we are—unconditionally. Having a loving foundation allows self-acceptance and self-worth to evolve and flourish brightly within. Just as a home on a solid foundation can’t be built without footings, it is impossible to build and create a quality way of life without having love, acceptance, and appreciation for all that you are.

A Foundation of Love

Love is the most powerful energy of all. It heals all wounds, mends a broken heart, brings family members together, and strengthens friendships. Love bridges emotional gaps and allows forgiveness to take place; it increases acceptance and sustains health and well-being. Having a foundation of love will enable you to let go of your inhibitions and live life as you were meant to live. When we hide from our truth and withhold love by keeping grudges or resentment, we hinder our abilities to move forward to create a happier way of life. Love is indispensable if you truly want to live a fruitful, joyous life in all areas. Simply put, if you want a loving relationship, you must first be in love with you.

You can never create a truly loving relationship with anyone else if you don’t love yourself entirely first. Having an enduring relationship begins by loving you! If you have difficulty building and maintaining loving relationships, then that is evidence that you have some “emotional spring cleaning” to do to de-junk negative and limiting thoughts and feelings. To bring more love into your life, let go of thoughts of loneliness and frustration and replace them with thoughts of love and satisfaction. You may think, “If only I had a boyfriend or was married then I would be happy and loved.” That sense of needing love will only attract a guy who has same insecurities as you do, and trust me, you don’t want that! To attract a man who is confident, loving, caring, giving, and kind requires that you must first come to feel the same about you.

Believing that love is found outside of you is false and untrue. Love always begins within. When you love and accept yourself for who you are, your emotional needs for love will be fulfilled. This allows you to attract a man who is also filled with self-love and happiness, and that makes for a delightful, everlasting relationship filled with joy, peace, security, and happiness.

What do you want in your future companion? Or if you are married or are in a relationship, what do you want to improve with your significant other? Do you want your partner to be more loving and understanding or more romantic and thoughtful? Do you want him to be more attentive when you talk to him or compliment you more often? Everything that you want to change in your significant other is what you need to change about you! Our relationships are a mirror of our inner beliefs and a reflection of our self-worth. If you want to improve your relationship not only with your spouse or boyfriend but also with your family members and friends, then you must first change yourself.

When you think you need love and approval from others to feel validated, it means you are in need of love and approval from the most important person of all: you! If you don’t come to love and accept all that you are and if you stay stuck in a needing energy mindset, you will just attract someone with the same low energy who is also in need of codependency and incapable of loving fully because they too will not have love for themselves.

You can’t create a strong relationship without first having a loving foundation to build your dreams upon within you. When you love yourself completely, you contribute to the fulfillment of your own personal needs, which keeps you from being dependent on others to fulfill your emotional needs. When you love yourself, you are self-assured and open to receive love. Your relationships in all aspects of your life flourish and improve as you come to relish and love all that you are.

Putting Yourself First

As women, we frequently put everyone else before ourselves. If you rarely care about yourself first, how will you be able to be your best self for your loved ones and friends? Putting yourself first may seem egotistical, but it’s just the contrary. You can’t be your best and serve others well if you don’t put your personal needs first: praying often, connecting with your higher self, making time for exercise, having quiet time to meditate or go for a walk, eating wholesome foods, and getting quality sleep each night. If you are too stressed and tired to exercise and if you eat junk food, then how will you be in good spirits and have the clarity of mind and the energy to spend quality time with your family or help a friend in need? You won’t. Unfortunately, this is a common cycle for many of us. Putting your needs and desires in the back of your mind only leaves you feeling empty, tired, disappointed, and stressed out. On the other hand, putting yourself first opens your heart to balance your body, mind, and spirit to believe that you really are exceptional and that you are worthy to receive.

Let the need to constantly put others’ needs first before your own fade away. It does not serve you to stomp on your hopes and dreams by not honoring your needs and desires. Caring for yourself exhibits your inner power and self-worth, which enables you to be your best for everyone else. Self-care is what makes people great! And it’s also an example for your family and friends of the power of love, adoration, and respect.

Think about those you look up to. You may look up to them because they are well dressed or because they’re confident, successful, and pleasant. All of these positive attributes come to them by honoring and respecting their own personal needs and truths. When we take the time to care for ourselves, we express without words the power of self-love and discipline.

I make caring for my body, mind, and spirit a high priority in my life. Each morning I start my day off with prayer, get my workout clothes on, say good morning to my family, and exercise after I make breakfast for my family and before I head to my office to work. I eat wholesome foods throughout the day, which gives me energy and makes me feel proud of myself for honoring my truth. My attention to respecting myself sends an empowering message to my family, demonstrating the importance of self-love and care. My kids love it when I work out and they constantly tell me how proud they are of the way I live. As a result, I’m a happier and more vibrant mother to my children, a bubbly and loving wife to my husband, and a better friend to my extended family and friends. All of this brings out the best in me. They too want to be happy, live well, and eat healthy because of my positive example.

You too can be a shining example to your family by loving and honoring your body, mind, and spirit each day. Without being in alignment with one of the three parts that make up the whole of you, you aren’t complete, nor can you be truly happy with who you are.

Come to love everything about yourself, from the freckles on your face to your beautiful hands and feet. If you find it difficult to love yourself, follow the tips listed below to help you shift into having a heart full of love—especially for you!

Five Ways to Love YOU

Say “I Love You” Often. Each day, wake up and look in the mirror and say, “I love you!” Compliment yourself each time you see your reflection in a mirror or window, including your car’s rearview mirror. When you practice saying, “I love you” daily, your habitual self-talk will naturally become more positive and optimistic. Making a habit of expressing self-love will draw more positive experiences and people into your life as a result of the love you have for you.

Love & Respect Your Body. Respect your body—it’s an expression of love. Eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and speak kindly to yourself. Express verbally how much you love and appreciate your awesome body and all that it does for you. Speak to your body as though you were speaking to your best friend; love and appreciate all it does for you. In addition, make proper nutrition a high priority. By eating a nutritious diet, you will feel better about yourself. Eat a diet filled with fresh fruits, vegetables, good fats, and lean proteins. Whole foods have a much higher energy frequency than dead, low energy junk foods, which means you increase your energy level when you eat whole foods. The more you love and respect your body, the happier you will be.

Wear Flattering Clothes. What you wear expresses how you feel about your body image. People often try to hide by wearing big baggy clothes that do not flatter their figures. Hiding your beautiful body reflects your low self-image to the world. If you want to reduce your weight and feel fantastic, then you need to dress the part—starting today. By wearing clothes that flatter your figure, you will improve your self-esteem instantly, feel more empowered, and have more confidence. The more confidence you have, the more you will want to dress nicely every day. You can look and feel your best seven days a week by having a wardrobe that complements your figure, no matter what size you are.

Stop Negative Self-Talk. If you think kindheartedly about yourself, good job! However, if you think negatively—stop it! Negative self-talk will only attract more unwanted experiences to complain about. When you are positive, you are open to love. When you love yourself fully, you will become more positive and optimistic. Your mind is extremely powerful, so use it to your advantage. The more you think kindly of yourself, the more you will come to love everything about you.

Take Pride in Your Accomplishments. Take pride in all that you do and give yourself a pat on the back for your accomplishments, either big or small. Set goals, create a game plan, and follow through. When you accomplish your goals, congratulate yourself. When you succeed, be proud of your fortitude and continued will. Stop downplaying your accomplishments or apologizing for them. When you do your best, you deserve to be recognized. When you have good news to share, do so only with those who support, uplift, and inspire you to believe in your dreams. Celebrate your victory together. The more you acknowledge your success and congratulate yourself, the more you will come to love trying new adventures or dreaming bigger dreams. Take pride in knowing that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Chapter 5

Believe in You

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.

~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Do you believe in yourself deep down? Do you set goals and expect to accomplish them? Or do you sit idly by as the world passes, leaving you to create your life by default? How you see yourself in your mind’s eye has created your life as it is now. To change any aspect of your life, you must first change your self-beliefs and self-image. When I asked you what you think about yourself, you may have had thoughts of your body or what you like to do or what you don’t like about yourself. But I’m not asking about your physical self; I’m asking you to look deep within you and tell me what you really believe about yourself. Do you believe that you can be healthy and fit? Do you believe you can make more money? Do you believe you can live a happy, joyful life? Do you believe you can attract your true love or have an incredibly loving, happy marriage?

Whatever you believe about yourself either limits or expounds your abilities to succeed in all aspects of your life. If you don’t believe in yourself very much, it puts a ceiling on what you think you can achieve—you can only achieve what you believe. Your self-image is evident in all that you do. From how much money you make, to how your love life is, to how healthy you are. Your life and body as it is now is a direct expression of how you truly feel about yourself deep down. This is why it’s imperative to learn to believe in you to tap your infinite powers within to change your life in remarkable ways. After all, you are a daughter of God; therefore, you already have all that is needed to manifest your dreams in immense abundance in any area of your life you choose. But you can only go as far as you believe.

Have you ever wondered why some people are highly successful while others are constantly struggling? It’s the paradigms within your subconscious mind that keep you from believing in yourself. Recall that a paradigm is a multitude of habits that are ingrained in the subconscious mind. We are all conditioned both genetically and by our environment, which created programs in our minds. How you were raised and the environment you grew up in created a habitual pattern of thoughts, which created a paradigm. Your paradigm is your perception of yourself—what you truly believe and think about you. It’s a collection of patterns of thought that are ingrained in your subconscious mind from birth, creating habits that either keep you trapped in self-doubt or skyrocket your desires to manifest.

If you want to change and remake your life, you must first shift the paradigms in your mind to change your image of yourself. A paradigm shift is when you change one way of thinking to another. This is much like an optical illusion where you perceive an image visually that is different from objective reality. You may have seen various optical illusions such as the image of a vase and two facial profiles looking at each other. At first you may see the vase in the center, but then after you shift your perception you see the two facial profiles on either side of the image looking at each other.

Similarly, if you think you will always be overweight, then you most likely see yourself as being fat, which will keep you in a state of mind of being overweight; however, if you change your way of thinking to “I am thin” and believe you really can be thin, then your self-image shifts from feeling fat to thin, and ultimately, you will have weight reduction.

Your self-image creates the outer expression of your beliefs. As you alter your inner image, your outside world will begin to change accordingly. When you’re feeling confident and secure, you reflect powerful energy and beliefs about who you are. But when you fail to connect with your inner truth or recognize your unique gifts, talents, and qualities, you soon lose faith in your abilities, which results in low self-worth and unhappiness, thus keeping you trapped in a paradigm. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to lose confidence when you feel less than what you really are.

Believing in yourself is essential to improve your self-image. Now, I’m not referring to being arrogant, self-centered, or pompous—quite the opposite. I’m referring to believing in your inner truth by trusting and honoring your God-given gifts and talents. I’m referring to tapping into the infinite wealth of knowledge, love, joy, and power within. To tap into your higher self and increase your self-worth, begin by daydreaming and fantasizing about what you want to become or to achieve. As you do, become emotional about your desires; feel, smell, touch, hear, and see yourself relishing in that which you want to achieve. This will move fantasy into factual action energy, which is how thoughts become things.

When you believe in yourself, you increase your belief in being able to create intentionally. Having a mindset of self-belief is a springboard to achieving great success. By believing in yourself, you will receive inspiration from above to enable you to reach new heights and achieve your dreams. Having a high self-image and belief shifts the paradigms in your subconscious mind, which is the key that unlocks the door to your destiny. If you want to truly become all that you desire to be, then you must first come to believe in you.

Recognizing Your Own Needs

In the craziness of daily life, it’s easy to overlook our own needs and wants when we’re busy serving, praising, and uplifting everyone else around us far more than we do ourselves. We concentrate our love and attention on our loved ones and friends while putting ourselves on the back burner. When we relinquish our own individual truth, the consequence of doing so stresses our emotional state of being at a subconscious level. It brings about feelings of lack, discontentment, confusion, and anxiety, which cause us to struggle and feel unhappy and discontent within.

When you persistently focus solely on the needs of others and lose sight of your own needs, your light within becomes dim and your own personal needs and desires seem to vanish into thin air. It’s simple to forget your own needs when you don’t take time to acknowledge and love yourself daily. If you constantly put others’ wants ahead of your own, you are not serving your highest good nor are you able to be your best for those you love and care for. It wasn’t until I came to love myself with all my heart that I began putting my personal needs first so I could be the best wife and mother possible.

Now I’m not suggesting that you spend all day pampering yourself and that you should stop caring for your family. That’s the opposite of putting your personal needs first. That would be selfish and unsatisfying. What I’m saying is to think lovingly of yourself, make time for your personal needs, and care for your body with the love and respect it deserves. Take time to ponder your goals, be prayerful, make exercise a high priority in your life, and share your love, gifts, and talents with others freely. When you honor your needs, you will be content and fulfilled and will exude how you feel in all that you do, and that makes for a happier you, family, and home. You know the saying, “When mom is happy, everyone is happy!” That’s so true!

When you are too busy caring for your family’s needs, fulfilling your job requirements, cleaning your home, being a short-order cook, washing dishes, keeping track of finances, caring for your family pets, doing laundry, caring for relatives, being a cheerleader for your kids, and being a loving wife, mother, sister, and friend—not to mention all the other daily tasks required—it leaves little time for you to honor and fulfill your own personal needs.

It’s no surprise that you forget about your dreams and feel overwhelmed and tired all the time when you are too wrapped up in caring and uplifting everyone else. All too often we’re so busy shining spotlights on everyone else that we forget to put a spotlight on ourselves. Each of us was born with infinite wisdom, enlightenment, and knowledge from above to fulfill our destinies and heart’s desires with immense abundance—including you!

When was the last time you applauded yourself for your marvelous gifts, talents, and abilities or for a job well done? If you think about it, you may be surprised at just how often you put everyone else’s needs and wants before your own. When you take a moment to ponder how you treat yourself, you will be shocked with how often you forget to validate your own personal needs. Caring for others’ needs and putting them before your own may seem like you are doing the right thing but actually you’re not. When you put everyone else ahead of you, it leaves you feeling unfulfilled and discontent within. I’m not saying that serving others is bad. It’s essential to living a happy, fulfilling life; charity is the pure love of Christ. But if you ONLY serve others’ needs and fail to support your own needs then you are not living in accordance with your truth within and will fall short of that which you long to be.

By believing in your precious gifts and abilities, you are able to relish in the truthfulness of who you really are. When you negate your God-given talents and gifts by putting your own desires by the wayside, you forgo your understanding of how magnificent you are, which results in self-doubt, dissatisfaction, confusion, and frustration. By not recognizing your wonderful attributes and fulfilling your own personal needs within, you will have feelings of being underappreciated and uncared for, which limit you from living joyfully.

Searching Outside of You for Fulfillment

Having disbelief in yourself results in searching outside of you to fill the wants and needs that your heart longs for, such as love, validation, and support. Seeking approval, love, and acceptance outside of yourself will only end in disappointment and discouragement because what you are actually yearning for is self-love, self-belief, and self-acceptance. When you acknowledge and appreciate your infinite worth and strengths, you radiate your inner truth and your self-love and respect illuminates your countenance.

The longing for acceptance, true love, joy, inner peace, and happiness comes from the familiar sense of pure love that resides within. You were created to have a life of joy, happiness, and great abundance, all of which comes by having faith in you. You already have all that is needed to become that which your heart longs for, for you, my dear, are a magnificent being! When you believe with all your heart in your innate powers within, your life will begin to change. As you come to believe in your infinite powers within, you will soon realize just how remarkable you really are! You will have more love, contentment, and inner peace; you will be more understanding and patient; and you will be more lighthearted and satisfied with your life as you appreciate and understand that you really are the creator of your universe.

No longer will you feel inclined to search outside yourself for validation and acceptance, because you will be living from the real you. You will magnify your glory within, which is that of nobility and eternal truth. Your life will begin to change in miraculous ways as you come to believe in all that you are and capable of. Let go of the need to look outside yourself to create a life that is worthy of you!

Believing in yourself will improve all aspects of your life in implausible ways. You will attract people, circumstances, and events to enlighten and gladden your heart. As you relish in the deliciousness of your life, do so with thankfulness in your heart and believe that you are a powerful women who can truly create and manifest whatever you desire. With that self-proclaimed love and belief comes empowerment, which gives you added strength to overcome life’s challenges. You will still have hills and valleys and bumps along the way—we all do—but you will quickly be able to shift from self-doubt to self-belief to overcome any undesirable experiences. Releasing your desire to be validated by others will free yourself of self-doubt. Always be mindful that believing in yourself and in God is the ultimate key to improving your quality of life and becoming all you wish to be.

A Life-Changing Story of Believing in Self

One of my dear clients, Amy, felt unworthy to receive her heart’s desires, even though she was stunning and highly successful. She constantly had self-doubt and was unsatisfied, but she wanted to feel hopeful, joyful, and happier.

When she began coaching, she was limited in her thinking and was not content with her life. She soon came to love herself unconditionally, which enabled her to let go of her limiting beliefs, and came to fully realize just how precious she is. She was able to reconnect with her higher self and sense who she really was—a precious daughter of God. As she reconnected with her higher self, she came to know that God loved her completely, even more than she could possibly comprehend. She came to appreciate her beauty—both inside and out—as she rediscovered her exceptional gifts, talents, and attributes. By coming to love and value herself, she was able to release resistance to what was holding her back from living a fulfilling, happy life.

As she released the negative thoughts and feelings she had about herself, she created new beliefs that supported her longing for self-love and self-worth. She came to see the radiant exquisiteness that glowed from within her; she began to trust and believe in herself as she came to realize her divine gifts, talents, and beauty within. She also recognized and appreciated that everything she had been through had a “silver lining” that helped her to learn, grow, and expand to the remarkable woman she is today.

As her self-image increased day by day, she become more confident and content with who she was. It was highly rewarding for me to see her awaken and transform as she came to know, love, and accept all that she is. Her energy came alive when she began believing in herself. Below, in her own words, she describes her transformation and how her life changed in extraordinary ways:

In one of our conversations, Carol suggested, “Embrace all that I am, and life will come to me.” There was nothing more painful than a life that rarely matched up to the dreams within my heart. I had for the majority of my years lived in unconscious creation, in doubt of my worthiness to be loved and in the deflated mental state of feeling separate. As a result, I had very little physical energy to break out of the pattern of self-sabotaging behaviors until I came to fully accept my divinity as a child of God and not of life’s circumstance. I now own the power and accept that “I Am” worthy to receive all that I want to experience in my lifetime and more. When I was able to grasp the concept that I am magnificent because of all I experienced, not in spite of what I experienced, my whole perception expanded into excitement, joy, and appreciation for the miraculous being Carol helped me to recognize, honor, and embrace. Life comes whether I like it or not; why not choose to love myself and embrace life?

I am extremely proud of Amy and all she accomplished in a relatively short amount of time; she came a long way from being filled with self-doubt and is now able to thrive with excitement and joy for life. She shifted beautifully into her power as a woman of truth with a glow of God’s love and light about her. Her sparkly eyes and contagious smile convey her self-love, respect, and high self-worth. She is such a gift to all who know her, and she continues to light up the world with her radiant essence within.

How to Believe in YOU!

Just as Amy was able to love and believe in herself, so can you. However, sometimes believing in you is easier said than done. Most everyone I know wants to have more confidence and desires to feel more valued, yet their actions state otherwise. Often we seek to fulfill our need for validation outside of ourselves. When you look to others for validation to support your self-esteem, you will find that after all is said and done, you are right back where you started, filled with self-doubt and confusion. In other words, when we try to believe in ourselves by seeking approval of others, we end up trying to act as they would want us to act, speak as they do, and behave in a manner that’s not true to our innate virtues and inner truth.

Never make the mistake of trying to be something that you are not. When you go about living a façade, you will never be able to believe in who you really are and all that you are capable of accomplishing. How disappointing would that be? Believing in you comes from acknowledging your marvelous attributes, gifts, and talents along with accepting your mistakes and faults. We all make mistakes and trip and fall along our journey in life. Though you may prefer to always make the right decisions to avoid the pitfalls in life, it’s those experiences that have made you who you are today. It’s by learning the life lessons through our various experiences that makes us become stronger, wiser, loving, empowered, courteous, humble, steadfast, spiritual, and compassionate in order to connect us with our inner strengths and reinforce our beliefs.

Think back to a recent experience that you didn’t enjoy. Think about what you learned from that experience. How did it make you grow? Can you correlate how life lessons spurred growth and expansion both spiritually as well as emotionally? Can you see how it strengthened your resolve to believe in your abilities? It’s your perception that either makes unwanted experiences a time to learn or a time to shun and squabble in silence of your mind. What you believe about yourself is what powers or disempowers you.

To help empower you when life throws you a curve ball, take a moment to think of a memory that you are not particularly fond of and think about how you were able to improve yourself from that experience. Say your boyfriend broke up with you five years ago, which left you brokenhearted and overwhelmed with feelings of despair. At the time, it was probably difficult and painful, but how did you triumph over those feelings? How did it make you stronger? Perhaps you found your true love just months after the break up or perhaps you realized that you deserve so much more.

Whatever experiences you have had made you become who you are today. They were filled with life lessons for your betterment and growth, even if they were difficult at the time. Looking for that which you learned increases your beliefs about your inner power and capabilities. Figuratively speaking, because you picked yourself up off the floor after your old boyfriend broke up with you, you were able to regroup, focus on the positive, and increase your conviction to believe in yourself, which then attracted your soul mate, who absolutely loves and adores you.

Every aspect of your life from love to money is a perfect expression of your self-belief. Creating a high self-image is of the highest importance if you truly want to transform your life. To be able to relish in the goodness of life, you must first come to love and believe in all that you are. By doing so, you will shift your paradigm from lack and feeling unworthy to that of abundance and feeling worthy to receive. Your belief system is the fuel that ignites your fire within. By believing in your infinite potential, you will break free from the limiting bondage of thoughts in your mind.

You have all that is necessary within you to flourish abundantly. Whether you want a new house, a new car, better health, more wealth, more love, or more friends, it all stems down to the belief system you have about you. You beliefs are paradigms that keep you from attaining your goals and dreams. It’s those untruths and limiting thoughts (such as “You have to work hard for money” or “I’m not good enough to be truly happy and successful”) that are keeping you from believing in yourself. As Bob Proctor teaches time and time again, “When you shift your paradigm, your whole life improves.”

To help you shift your paradigms, take a moment to write down below or in a notebook what you truly believe about yourself and what you want achieve. Detail exactly what you want to be, do, or have. Dream big! The sky’s the limit!

After writing your self-beliefs and what you want to achieve, write at the bottom, “I, <your name>, will succeed at achieving my goals and dreams, even beyond my wildest expectations!” Then read it out loud to yourself every day for the next thirty days as you look at yourself in a mirror. As you read, do so with energy and excitement! Feel your powerful essence radiate from you as you do. Soon you will identify with how powerful you really are, and you will sense a newfound belief in you!

Let Go of Perfection

If you tend to be a bit OCD, do yourself a service and let go perfection. Release the desire to have to be perfect all the time. Stop trying to fulfill the desires that your loved ones and friends try to impress upon you when you already have a full plate. You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations, and you certainly don’t have to try to be something you’re not. If you think you will only be happy once you are perfect, think again.

There is no such thing as perfection, at least in the way that we normally think about it. You are actually already perfection in physical form, but nothing you say or do or achieve can make you more perfect. You don’t have to be a “perfect shape or size” and you don’t have to make x amount of dollars to be happy. You can be happy and full of self-belief and love right now, just as you are. By shifting into a positive, productive mindset rather than a perfection mindset, you will let yourself off the hook and will lower your stress.

An excellent way to shift from trying to be perfect, which is a low self-worth energy, to having amazing self-confidence is to begin to speaking kindly to yourself. Come to appreciate your phenomenal body and believe in your brilliant mind. You may be thinking, “Actually…I don’t have an amazing body, and I’m not brilliant,” but actually you do and you are!

To assist you in coming to love and believe in all that you are, below are tips to help you shift your mindset from self-doubt to one of self-love and belief, which will enable you to enjoy glorious treasures in life that are waiting. Let go of limiting self-talk and stop trying to live up to others’ expectations. Be confident, knowing you are a powerful woman of truth and light and come to love and believe in you.

Tips to Believe In Yourself

Love & trust yourself.

Realize that you are stronger than you think you are.

Have faith in Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ.

Do an act of kindness each day with a cheerful heart.

Speak kindly & lovingly to yourself.

Be positive & enthusiastic!

Be forgiving of yourself & others.

Be generous with your time, talents, & money.

Have an attitude of gratitude.

Say your intentions out loud with excitement daily.

Build your savings account, save ten percent of all earnings.

Live the Golden Rule.

Commit yourself to constant improvement.

Pride yourself in all that you do.

Be happy in all that you do.

Be loyal & honest & have integrity.

Commit to excellence.

Take responsibility for all experiences in your life.

Live in the now with love.

Dream big! Set goals, create an action plan to attain your dreams, and then allow them to flow freely to you.

Do something each day that you thoroughly enjoy.

Love everything about you!

Chapter 6

Embracing Change

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

~ George Bernard Shaw Change happens every day, every moment, everywhere. It’s a magical part of life. Change is something to be cherished; after all, change is necessary if you want to improve your quality of life. If you want a new home, you need to relocate and change your surroundings. If you want to get married, you need to embrace changing your style of life from being single to being a couple. If you want to want to be successful, you need to make the needed changes to accomplish your goals and dreams by taking focused action daily. If you want to have a baby, you have to change your daily activities from being a wife to also being a mother.

Everything in our miraculous lives revolves around change. The natural world around us changes from day to day; some days there are blue skies, while on other days storm clouds roll in with pounding rains, and there is always change with each season. Change is exciting, invigorating, and inviting. If there weren’t change continually, life would become dull and grey. If you think about it, without change occurring throughout your life, you would become complacent and would not be able to learn and expand. Imagine doing the exact same things and getting the exact same results day after day. How boring and mundane would that be? It wouldn’t be long before you would feel trapped, unenthusiastic, and lethargic and you would most likely gain weight and feel depressed.

If you want to new results in your life then you need to accept that change is a good thing. We were born to create and expand our lives on purpose, which requires constant change. If you hope for something but are unwilling to change, then guess what? Your hope will be as a seed planted on dry, desolate soil only to disappear as it blows away in the wind. If you truly want to improve your quality of life, come to expect and desire change. Choose to plant your seed of desire in rich, fertile soil that receives plenty of sunshine and rain so your seedling will be able to grow and thrive. Each and every aspect of your life can improve by being willing to change.

Many women are afraid of change, yet change is inevitable. It’s the one thing that is constant in our lives. Change is actually a good thing. It enables us to dream, set goals, and strive to be better and to live passionately. It inspires us to become the magnificent women we were meant to be and to live happily, healthfully, and abundantly. Without change, we would be as a caterpillar on a tree, afraid to create a cocoon in which we become the beautiful butterfly we were meant to be.

Learn to Embrace Change

Learning to embrace change will do you a world of good! When you come to embrace change, you are expressing energetically that you are ready to grow, you are ready to succeed, and you are ready to become that which you long to be—you are ready for change! If you think about it, how could you expand and become a more accomplished individual without change? You couldn’t. Unfortunately, too many people shy away from change, which is a big reason why they continue to be “stuck” in their “stuff” year after year.

Being stuck is very common because even though people want to change, they’re afraid of it and resist it—which makes them unwilling to change. No matter how much they don’t like their circumstances, it’s familiar and so they stay. When you are stuck, it doesn’t feel good. It feels like you’re doomed to be in your situation for life, when truthfully, you can change your circumstances by changing your thoughts and actions. Embracing change takes the intention to want to change and being willing to feel uncomfortable until the change is made. It’s those who aren’t often willing to make changes in their lifestyles who have to learn to allow their lives to blossom and flourish by accepting change.

How often do you hear others complaining about how little money they have or how much they hate their jobs, and yet they’re unwilling to look for a better job? Or someone who dislikes being alone but doesn’t want to get out and be social? Each scenario calls for an action, but without changing something they will continue to be stuck in their dissatisfaction until they open their hearts and minds to embrace the change that is necessary to live a better way of life.

If you are tired of your current set of circumstances and want something more, then welcome change! The more open you are to allowing change, the sooner you will begin to live as you wish to. You can’t move forward very well if you’re stuck looking down at your feet. How often do you think to yourself, “Ugh, I don’t like change”? If you fight against change, you aren’t allowing yourself to experience new and exciting things or to believe in your dreams and go for them, all because of fear. To expand and increase your quality of life, you need to embrace change willingly and full-heartedly. Remember that you were literally made to create your life with intention, which requires change. Embracing change to improve your life is a decision that only you can make—you can have resistance to it or welcome it—the choice is yours.

Welcoming Change into Your Life

Natalie came to me eager to change her life; she felt unfulfilled and frustrated. She wanted to be genuinely happy and have inner peace as she had when she was young, but her current money problems and relationship issues were keeping her in a low energy and negative mindset. During the coaching sessions, she explained how hard her life was and how her family had struggled financially for many years. She told me how she wanted to change but didn’t know how. I taught her how to release negative energy to enable her to let go of the memories that caused her emotional turmoil and how to embrace her current way of life. Through coaching she came to discover that she was stuck in a poverty mindset rather than thinking prosperous thoughts. Her inner dialogue was constantly focused on the negative; a light bulb went off in her head when she realized how destructive her mindset had been. I helped her understand the paradigm she had and that she simply needed to change it to enable her to improve.

Although Natalie was terrified of change at first, she was willing to try. As we worked through her limiting beliefs, she soon discovered how natural change was. She came to recognize her own innate powers, which opened her heart and allowed her to shift her paradigm about change and come to want it. She soaked up every word I taught her and implemented the power of change in her life with outstanding results. She began exercising daily, which she hadn’t done since high school, she became more passionate in her marriage, and she started a new online business that she loved!

She was able to release painful feelings of being afraid of change to become the blissful, successful woman she is today. Natalie said it was as if a big, heavy coat had been lifted from her and that she felt light and free inside. She became passionate about her life and looked forward to a bright future because she chose to change her attitude from negative to positive. It was wonderful to see her life begin to take shape—and resemble the life of her dreams—in just a few short weeks.

When you open your awareness to that which you want to obtain or achieve, you are subconsciously radiating that you are ready to receive more goodness in your life. By being open to change, you allow your higher self to guide your thoughts and receive divine inspiration from above. By embracing change, you are energetically proclaiming that you are ready to receive what your heart desires. Just by reading this book, you are radiating, “I’m willing to change.” By being willing to change you will attract your intentions to you. All aspects of life improve when you welcome change, such as:

You will be more in tune with your higher self and with God. Being in alignment with your higher self and with God aligns you with true happiness and everlasting joy.

You will be more hopeful. When you have hope, you have faith, which always precedes miracles.

You will be more enthusiastic about life. When you are enthusiastic, you are living from your higher self, and that is where all your power lies.

You will have more self-love and acceptance. When you love and accept yourself, your body, mind, & spirit are balanced and in harmony with your truth.

You will be more open to receiving promptings from above. When you are open to change, you are open to receiving divine guidance to lead you to the path before you, which will enable you to achieve your goals and dreams.

You will be more open to other people’s comments and suggestions. When you are willing to change, you are teachable and able to learn from others who come into your path to uplift and help you.

You will trust yourself more. Trusting yourself is of the utmost importance. When you are open to change, you are more confident in your decisions, which makes change easy and enjoyable. The more you love, trust, and honor your ability to welcome change, the more positive experiences will be drawn to you to assist you in evolving into the person you desire to be.

As you can see, embracing change truly is life transforming. When you embrace change, you are able to break free of the resistance that has kept you stuck and will be able to move into a space of imagination and creativity—the beginning of all creation. It’s such an empowering way to live! Waking up each morning willing to move forward in hope and faith by believing that it’s going to be a marvelous day is a great feeling.

The more you embrace change, the more you will be in alignment with what your heart desires, which will allow you to become who you were meant to be rather than what you “might have been.” If you really want to manifest the life and body of your dreams, then relax and delight in change. When something changes in your life that you don’t particularly like, rather than making a derogatory statement, smile and look for the good and let it be. Be patient. It might take you a bit to accept the concept of change, but when you do, congratulate yourself, and before long you will recognize the wondrous gift that change is in your life.

Simple Steps to Embracing Change

To help you better accept and desire change in your life, practice the following five simple steps. The more you endeavor to welcome change and see the best in all your circumstances, the easier the changes in your life will be.

Allow & Accept Change. What you resist persists, so if you are digging your heels into the ground and refusing change, then your life as you know it will not change. You must allow and accept change; this openness will enable you to better adjust to the change. Acknowledging change is allowing it to unfold, instead of approaching it with denial and resistance. If you find it a hard to accept change, then have a mantra such as, “I embrace change. I love to change my life for the better each new day. I love knowing that I can change anything about my life I want to.” The sooner you allow changes to occur in your life, the closer you will be to achieving your goals and dreams.

Be Patient. When things don’t seem to go your way, be patient and pay attention so that you can better learn and grow from these experiences. Within every life change, there is wisdom to be learned—look for the “silver lining.” Change can be your greatest teacher, especially if you look for that which has helped you become the magnificent woman you are today.

Everything Happens For A Reason. Believe that everything happens for a reason, and that you are meant to experience change so that you can expand and grow in every aspect of your life. It’s a magical way to live when you look at the changes in your life with an understanding that “it was meant to be.”

Be Thankful. “When life hands you a basket of lemons, make lemonade.” I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase before, but it has the wisdom of thankfulness in it. Be thankful for the changes in your life. Be thankful for the lessons learned. Be thankful for the wisdom that you have attained because of change. Having a heart filled with thankfulness during any change will enlighten your heart and gladden your mind.

Let Go of Resistance to Change. You will know if you have embraced change or not by how you feel. If something unexpected happens or if something that you anticipate does not come to fruition, you have resistance to change. If you feel anxious or worried about it, then you have resistance and this resistance will make the change in your life uncomfortable. Rather than fight change, look forward to it with a brightness of hope and a belief that everything always works out for your highest good. Doing so will ease the resistance and will empower you to embrace change with thankfulness and appreciation.

Section Two

The Power of Your Mind

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.

~ Robert Collier

Chapter 7

The Gift of Happiness

Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves. It is not something we see like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we are.

~ John B. Sheerin

The gift of happiness is part of your Divine Birthright. Happiness is a part of us, and this is why you long to be happy when you’re not. We all yearn to have inner peace, contentment, and bliss, day in and day out. Most of what we do is because we believe we will feel better. The desire for happiness is what motivates us to improve our quality of life, from having a loving relationship to better health and wellness. Your desire for happiness was implanted in your heart by God, and this is why you yearn passionately to be happy—it’s part of your true essence. Happiness is a similitude of the divinity within each of us, and that’s why it feels so good when you’re happy.

True and everlasting happiness isn’t something you can find or even buy; true happiness is only found in you. Your higher self is the source of joy and happiness, which is God’s eternal energy flowing through you. Happiness is your heritage; it is your Divine Birthright to have a blissful, enjoyable, abundant life. Jack H. Goaslind explains:

“Our yearnings for happiness were implanted in our hearts by Deity. They represent a kind of homesickness, for we have a residual memory of our premortal existence. They are also a foretaste of the fullness of joy that is promised to the faithful. We can expect with perfect faith that our Father will fulfill our innermost longings for joy. In fact, the plan he has given to guide us is called “the plan of happiness.” In the meridian of time, it was heralded by angelic messengers as “good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.” (Alma 42:16 and Luke 2:10)[2]

God wants you to be happy—truly happy! He literally created you to have joy. Living in alignment with God brings about peace and happiness, which is an essential aspect of living a vibrant, blissful way of life. It enables us to have peace of mind and contentment, which encourages a higher quality of life—but only if we choose to embrace happiness. It’s the connection to the essence of divinity within. That’s why happiness feels like home; it’s a part of who we are spiritually.

To tap into your higher self, where immense joy and happiness resides, think thoughts that bring a smile to your face and speak words that are in sync with your desires. It’s easy to wish for happiness, but to be happy takes effort on your part. It’s all too easy to focus on the negative around you, complaining about how difficult life is, when all along you have plenty and bountiful blessings all around you. By not focusing on what you are thankful for or by failing to look for that which makes you feel good during your daily activities, you may bring about feelings of sadness, disappointment, and deprivation, which keep you from drinking from the stream of happiness that resides in you.

It’s Okay to be Unhappy

Even though happiness is an essential part of who we are, we don’t always feel happy. Sometimes we feel unhappy and sad, and when we do, that’s okay. Fortunately we have emotions to help guide us, to help us know what we like and what we don’t, to help us yearn for something more to increase our spirituality and understanding, and to help us become all that we are designed to be. Without various emotions, we would be complacent and wouldn’t have any ambition to improve our quality of life.

But with our capacity to feel various emotions comes the not-so-enjoyable feelings of being unhappy, stressed out, angry, mad, frustrated, and upset. If you feel unhappy, don’t beat yourself up. It’s all right. It’s simply part of life to be down and out now and again. But it’s what we do when we’re down that either makes us triumph over our follies or break into little pieces like shattered glass on a hardwood kitchen floor. It’s all a matter of choice. Do you let the down times define you by becoming bitter and angry? Or do you regroup and simply let the unwanted experiences roll off you like water on a duck’s back? When you are down, acknowledge your feelings and realize that how you feel is just that: feelings.

YOU are not your feelings. They are merely your internal guidance system letting you know if you are on or off track the path toward your highest good. When you get upset, let the unwanted feelings go; it doesn’t do you any good to hold a grudge or be continually frustrated. Visualize yourself giving your worries to Christ, and then move on. You don’t need to fret about not being happy. Just simply choose to be happy or at least content with your life as it is now. Doing so will help you shift into a feeling of satisfaction and then hope, which will open your heart to feel the happiness and tap into the serenity that is a part of you. Luckily, we have the ability and power within to change our emotions by altering our thoughts at any moment and focusing on that which brings us happiness.

When you feel down in the dumps, instead of having self-pity, reach for a good-feeling thought and then another and then another to help shift your energy into a higher vibration. Remember, the higher the vibration, the better you feel. The more you strive to be cheerful, the sooner you actually will be happy. Beginning today, choose to release the resistance to opening your heart to happiness. Seek the love and joy that resonates in you by thinking positively and giving thanks to the good Lord above as well as to your loved ones and friends. Confirm your positive thinking by performing an act of kindness for another. Serving others not only uplifts the one being assisted but it uplifts the giver too.

To shift from being unhappy to content, you need to practice having habitual thoughts that make you feel good. It takes time and attention to adjust what you think about most from being sad and negative to being joyful and positive. By having thoughts that please you, such as thinking of a fond memory or by emotionally visualizing your ideal future, you will create new beliefs into your subconscious mind that will evoke feelings of happiness, contentment, and bliss.

The more you focus your attention on how you feel and the more you work at feeling better, the happier you will be!

Finding Your Inner Source of Happiness Exercise

Too often we forget what brings us joy, as we are overworked and overtired. We lose sight of what happiness really is. We fail to pay attention to what brings a smile to our faces and what makes our hearts sing. As children, we were always in fantasyland, using our imagination as it was meant to be used—creatively. Do you remember what you used to daydream about as a young child? All too often we forget our childhood dreams, which are a connection to our truth within.

To connect with the essence of happiness, think about what brings you joy. Really feel the feelings of what you love to do. Maybe it’s painting or being with animals or perhaps it’s cooking for your family or spending time with your friends on a girls’ night out. Now, feel what it’s like as you daydream. The more in touch you are with your inner desires, the easier it will be to connect with the innate happiness that’s in you. What do you long to be? What do you want to create? What does your ideal life and body look like? All of these imagined realities resonate with you because they’re what bring you joy.

To better resonate with happiness, on the space on the following page or in a notebook write down ten things that bring you joy and fill your heart with happiness and excitement. Feel the energy of each thought as you write it down and visualize yourself doing what you love. Refer back to your list whenever you are down to remind yourself of the joy you feel right now.

The World Is On Your Side

Now that you did the exercise above, think of a time when you were ecstatic—overflowing with jubilation and joy. What images come to mind? Perhaps it was when you graduated college or when you met the man of your dreams or when you had your first child. Think back to how the world around you reacted to the joyful energy that glowed about you. Do you remember others being excited for you as you shared your exciting news with them? Your energy of joy and excitement radiated from you, brilliantly uplifting everyone.

When you are happy and filled with enthusiasm, your body, mind, and spirit are in harmony, which radiates a high-energy vibration from within you. This vibrant energy goes down to a cellular level and is conveyed in your cheerful personality and vigor for life. When you shift from sadness to happiness, it’s as though you adjusted your radio from broadcasting the static between stations to tuning into your favorite station to enjoy music that makes you want to dance to the energizing beat.

Being happy by tuning into the real you brings about the same energizing feeling your favorite music does. When you are truly happy, you feel more carefree and blissful within. Being in a state of happiness enables you to live up to your highest potential; it empowers you to believe in yourself and to hold fast to your hopes and dreams. When you feel eager for life and have inner peace, you emit high-energy frequencies that attract more wonderful people, circumstances, and events into your experiences, which in turn increase abundance and happiness in all areas of your life.

Have you noticed that when you are in a great mood, everyone else seems to be too? It’s as if everything seems to be going your way. That’s because we always attract back to us how we feel. Just like when you go to the grocery store. When you greet the cashier with a smile and compliment, what you get back is a smile and kindness in return, regardless of what type of mood he or she was in before you spoke. You’ve heard the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together,” right? This candid analogy is so true. Happiness is highly contagious—everyone wants to be happy—and that’s why motivational speakers are highly sought after, because people want to be happy. So it is with you when you are in a good mood. Everyone around you will naturally shift into a better mood too, just from being around you.

Being happy is not only contagious; it also attracts more of what you enjoy to you. When you are happy, you send out a powerful signal to the Universe, which attracts synchronicity back to you to bring to fruition that which your heart longs for. It’s impossible to be unhappy and negative all the time and expect to attract happy, positive experiences to you. It’s like standing in a room with the lights off complaining about how depressing it is to be in the dark as you stand next to a light switch but refuse to flip it on. That’s why when you don’t take a stand and choose to be happy life has a way of confirming your unhappiness time and time again.

Enjoy Life!

Life is meant to be joyful, exciting, and fun! How often do you find yourself working all day or just doing the same routines without giving it a second thought to how you feel? More often than not, when you fall into stagnant water, it’s because you do not have balance in your life and because you let the doubts and worries overcome your feelings of happiness. When we become beleaguered or discouraged, it’s because we’re not taking time out of our busy schedules to do what brings joy to our hearts. We often fail to take time to relax, renew, and play, which is essential to living a happy way of life.

To assist you on your path to embracing the happiness that is found within, there are keys below that you can implement into your life. As you read them, pay attention to how you feel within your heart. If your mind is clear and you are open to receive, you will be able to sense and resonate with the happiness that resides in you.

Five Keys to a Happy Life

Live in an Attitude of Gratitude. Live in an attitude of love and gratitude for your family and for the many blessings in your life. Look for the good in others and be thankful for the tender mercies you receive each day. Choose to be happy by letting go of limiting thoughts that do not serve you. You have the power within to be, do, and have that which you wish for. Live with passion!

Family First. Put family first in your life, always! When you allow life to take over your tender moments of time with your spouse and children, you are blocking out the essence of life. Family is everything. If you don’t have a happy, loving family, you won’t have a happy home. Speak kindly. Say “I love you” often, and respect each other. Have one night a week for family night, and do something that you all love to do. Have dinner each evening together to spend quality time with each other. Turn off all electronics and enjoy one another’s company. Make your home a refuge from the world for your precious family to feel loved and secure.

Embrace Your Inner Child. We all have an inner child. Too often as adults, we forget what makes us happy. By embracing the fun, childish side of you (your inner child) your life becomes more alive and vibrant, and you will literally look and feel younger because of the attitude and energy you radiate. Doing what you love brings happiness into your life; it raises your endorphins, which will also increase the strength of your immune system and your self-esteem. Follow your heart in all that you do! If it makes you smile, then do it! Find the simple pleasures in everything that comes your way.

Surround Yourself with Positive People. You can look at your friends and know what type of person you are. Like always attracts like—it’s a universal law. If you are not proud of your friends, then it’s time to ponder who you are. Let go of friendships that suck your energy or bring you down. If you are always trying to help someone who is constantly complaining and needing your approval then realize that’s the energy you’re giving off. Surround yourself with powerful, happy, positive friends who make you want to be a better person, and in return be a kind, supporting friend. Choose friends who bring you up and who are excited about your goals and dreams.

Think Intentionally & Pray. Your thoughts are extremely powerful. Use them to create a brighter, happier future by thinking intentionally. Focus on the good in life and expect miracles each new day. Pray daily and then take inspired action. When you pray, you will shift your energy into a much higher and more powerful way of being by aligning yourself with God. Take time each day to serve others and to be a difference in the world. Share your gifts, talents, and energy with those in need and give thanks continually for the blessings and happiness you enjoy each day.

By living these simple principles, you will be able to embrace happiness and allow more goodness to come to you through the power of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Believe in your dreams, love your family and friends, and follow the divine inspiration that comes to you to bring your heart’s desires to fruition. Take time today to do what brings you happiness in order to reconnect and embrace the divinity that’s within you.

Chapter 8

What’s Energy?

When you are enthusiastic about what you do, you feel this positive energy. It’s very simple.

~ Paulo Coelho

There’s a lot of buzz about energy these days and for good reason. Everything is created by energy. Even your thoughts have energy frequencies that attract experiences and people back to you like a magnet. You, me, and even this book you are reading or the iPad, Kindle, or computer you’re using are made up of energy. You can read about energy in countless self-help books, such as Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret, which is based on The Law of Attraction, which states “energy attracts like energy.” Energy is also referred to in terms such as karma, synchronicity, and serendipity, to name a few.

You may be thinking, “But what is energy?” Energy is what we’re made of; energy is omnipresent and is in everything. It’s what enables creation in all things at the deepest level. The subtle energy that vibrates within you is the reason why you can shock your finger on a light switch if you have static build up from dragging your stocking feet on the carpet. It is how you can make a balloon stick to a wall after rubbing it on your head—it’s all possible because of energy.

Each of us is made up of subtle intricate energy. It’s the energy and spirit within, created by God, that gives us life. It’s how we interact and communicate nonverbally with each other. We all communicate energetically. It’s the first impression we sense, otherwise known as the “vibes” that we feel. Energy is what you feel when you inaudibly communicate with others before verbal words are spoken. When you feel comfortable or are attracted to someone, that indicates that the energy between you matches in energy frequency, and if it has a high vibration, it gives you a “feel-good” sensation. But when you feel uncomfortable and uneasy around someone, that indicates that your energy frequencies aren’t in sync with each other because the other person’s energy is at a much lower vibration than yours or vice versa. This sends off an alarm in the subconscious that something’s not right, thus causing an uncomfortable or uneasy feeling.

Energy also influences our feelings and emotions through our sensitivities of the world around us. As our conscious mind reads energy, it communicates to the subconscious mind information about what we perceive in the form of images, which then draw upon our stored memories and emotions to assess whether or not the experience is good or bad for our safety and well-being. It’s why we get a knot in our stomachs when we learn of bad news or feel like fireworks are going off in our hearts when we hear exciting news. It’s all energy. Everything is based off of an energy vibration. Hearing is a good example—it’s the process of your ears sensing vibration. The brain reads the vibrations and translates them into sound. Even as a global society, we’re all interwoven in energy.

We are all interconnected energetically, creating a collective consciousness. That’s how fads come and go as well as how economic highs and lows are felt by society as a whole. All of this is possible because of the energy frequencies, which vibrate from within us at different rates and radiate out into the Universe. This radiated energy then attracts back to us like energy—it’s the Law of Attraction in action. Have you ever noticed how your family and friends are happier when you are happy? That’s because of the energy you are giving off. If your spouse woke up on the wrong side of the bed but you woke up happy and rearing to go, just by being positive and active around him would raise his energy frequency, resulting in him shifting to a happier mood simply by interacting with you.

Happy, exciting feelings are higher energy wavelengths—much like FM radio—and sad, fearful feelings create slow, low energy wavelengths—much like AM radio. That’s why when you are happy you have more physical energy; it’s because the energy vibrating within you is vibrating as high, fast-moving vibration. Think about a time when you got really exciting news. Remember the jubilation you felt? That was high-energy vibration you felt.

Energy of Thought, Feelings, & Emotions

Did you know that thoughts have powerful energy? That’s why it’s imperative to think positively if you want to be happy and successful. Deciding on a conscious level to choose your thoughts wisely is necessary to create that which your heart longs for. Your emotions play an intricate role in your life in more ways than you may realize. Your consistent thoughts create feelings and emotions, which consist of energy. Your thoughts ultimately create your beliefs, which then manifest in one form or another in your life experiences.

How do you feel about what you’ve created thus far? Do you love and respect your life and body? Do you appreciate the endless blessings given to you from above in your life? If your answers are anything less than positive, that’s an indicator that you have room for improvement in the way you think and feel. You can’t change your life or your body without changing your thoughts first.

If you are constantly negative, your world will reflect your point of attraction through what you experience each day. From family to work, your inner negativity will show on the outside. You will have family drama, you will find that you’re always complaining about how difficult life is with your friends, you will feel unappreciated at work, your home will be cluttered, and you’ll constantly find that you are even low on gas when you drive your car. This is all because of the dominate vibration you are broadcasting. Everything around you is a mirror of your beliefs, in order to validate your thoughts and feelings over and over again. You always attract what you are. Everyone and everything is attracted to you because of the vibration of thought you radiate.

Even your body is a direct reflection of your beliefs and how you really feel about yourself. Remember the paradigms I told you about earlier? Well your beliefs and paradigms are expressed in your body too. Negative emotions hinder the body, causing illness, moodiness, discouragement, weight gain, and fatigue. Negativity about life in general will lower your energy fields and vibration, which will manifest in your body in the form of stress, ailments, sickness, and lack of willpower in addition to cravings for foods that aren’t healthy for you. For instance, when you focus on how stressful your life is, you will find that you are consistently making excuses as to why you’re too tired or too busy to exercise. You may also discover that you have an uncontrollable habit of craving sugar, high fats, or salty foods. And you will feel unmotivated and perhaps struggle with feelings of sadness, depression, or anxiety; all of these conditions are caused by having a negative mindset.

But luckily you have a powerful mind that can change the world around you by simply shifting your mindset from undesirable thoughts and beliefs to supportive, powerful thoughts and beliefs. You literally can and will be able to create your life for the better if you simply change the way you think. It’s truly magical to experience the wonderful changes that come once you really grasp having a positive mindset. And to do so, all you have to do is stop thinking negatively and be as positive as you can.

Creating a new belief system takes time. Just like lifting weights regularly is required to change your physique, so it is with creating a new pattern of thought to create a new belief. It takes constant attention to your thoughts and emotions to be able to alter the way you think habitually in order to create a new belief. If you desire to have more love, money, joy, and happiness in your life, then you must first tap into the energy of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions of your desires. Once again, you can’t focus on the negative and expect to attract positive people and events. The best way to help you get into a positive mindset it to set an intention that states, “Today I will do my best to be happy and to be positive!” Repeating such a mantra will set your point of attraction to feeling good, which is the vibration of creation, allowing you to create abundance of every kind into your life.

The Power of Perception

Perception is everything! How you perceive the world around you makes for a happy or fearful way of life. The power of perception is vital to understand if you want to transform your life; it’s how and why you attract your daily experiences in all aspects of your life. How you perceive your life will have a direct impact on your future results, which you will manifest as a result of your perception of what’s going on in the world around you in the present.

Your perception and energy of thought are extremely powerful! You can change any aspect of your life by shifting your perception alone. You can transform your life by focusing your attention on what is already working for you and giving thanks for what you already have rather than focusing on what’s missing. By focusing on the goodness in life, you will be able to better focus your attention on your desires and you will be able to see the end result of what you want. If you perceive that life is filled with wondrous opportunities and is overflowing with abundance, then you will attract more to be grateful for. Ask yourself, do I live in a giving or harsh universe? How you answer that question is how you perceive the world around you.

Your perception of your surroundings also influences how you feel. When you change your perception from negative to positive, you will come to see the world around you is in fact full of love and great abundance of every kind. The power of perception can shift your outlook on life instantaneously. We all have memories of our life experiences deep within our subconscious minds that create beliefs and habits, which create our reality. These memories serve to protect us and to keep us from harm. We consciously reflect upon our memories in our subconscious minds when we have experiences that mimic or remind us of past experiences—either wanted or unwanted. The subconscious mind stores all your life experiences to call upon as a form of protection. It is always on guard, trying to keep you from harm’s way. That’s why it’s natural to see the negative in a situation before we see the good.

The reason some unhappy memories give you a knot in your stomach at times is because the experience was perceived as “high risk” or as “great danger” to your safety and well-being. However, when you shift the way you think about that experience by looking for the beautiful life lessons that came from that experience, the subconscious will let go of the “fight or flight” or “danger” energy and shift to a “this was good for us” energy, which defuses the negative energy charge associated with the memory. It’s a powerful tool for releasing negative energy and stuck emotions. Once you are able to perceive that experience as “it made me the woman I am today” and are able to appreciate the life lessons learned, you will no longer be emotionally affected when you think of that experience.

The way you perceive your life makes you powerful or powerless. If you struggle with having a lot of negativity in your life, you can change it by changing the way you look at things. Whether you know it or not, you are sending out energy vibrations out into the Universe all day, every day. The Universe responds by organizing what you radiate and bringing matching like-energy people, circumstances, and events to you. Positive thoughts produce positive energy vibrations. Negative thoughts produce negative energy vibrations. Think about it: if you are positive, you will attract more positive to you and likewise for negative.

I learned the power of perception and how to be in my power when I began my journey. It wasn’t until I perceived my body as a miraculous gift from God that my body began to truly transform in astonishing ways. And it wasn’t until I created a new belief system about myself and my abilities that my life began to improve dramatically. I transformed my life and body by shifting the perception I had of myself to one where I believed I was able to achieve my dreams. I was able to do so by being a deliberate thinker and by deciding how I wanted to live my life. Because I knew that I could accomplish anything I set out to do, it enabled me to release blocked energy to create new beliefs that supported and sustained my goals and dreams.

Make it a point to think intentionally and to be positive. Let go of the past by forgiving yourself and others. It does you no good to hold onto resentment, so forgive and forget and then bless those who you forgave. You can’t expect to move forward and improve your life if you’ve locked the door before you with your negative thoughts and feelings. Allow yourself to let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs and open the door that leads to a straight and narrow path that’s illuminated beautifully to receive the fullness of joy and happiness and create the life of your dreams.

Resolve today to take charge of your mind and emotions by selectively choosing to have powerful, creative, loving thoughts that will attract positive energetic experiences to you. You are the master of your mind—your mind is not the master of you! You have the ability to tap into your inner power to improve your life in any way you choose. Having a positive mindset and energy is what enables you to achieve great success in all areas of your life.

To help you better understand and feel your energy, do the exercise on the following page. It may surprise you how energetic you are.

Feeling Energy Exercise

Straighten both of your hands and hold them up facing each other about eight inches from your chest.

Put your hands together, palm-to-palm, and then rub them up and down against each other as fast as you can for about a minute.

Then take your hands slowly apart, about an inch, and hold them there. You will be able to feel the energy bouncing between your hands.

After a moment, widen the space between your hands and feel the tension increase as the energy is being pulled.

The more you focus mentally on the energy between your hands, the more you will feel it.

That, my friend, is energy!

Holistic Energy Healing

Energy not only brings us together, but it can also heal us. As you know, I have been a Lifestyle Fitness Coach and Life Transformation Coach for many years. I’m not a typical coach because I practice energy therapy in my coaching, otherwise known as Holistic Coaching. I incorporate energy healing therapy with my clients whether they come to me for weight loss, to improve their fitness levels, save their marriages, increase self-esteem, or achieve their financial dreams. I sense their energy as a form of understanding their needs more clearly.

I’ve helped women all over the world transform their bodies and improve their lives by using what I like to call Holistic Energy Healing, an energy modality that enables me to read my clients’ energy intuitively to help them clear their negative energy. We all have the intuitive gift; it’s simply what we do when we read one another’s energy or “vibes.” It’s just a matter of cultivating the gift to read energy. I have found that incorporating energy therapy into my coaching programs gives me a huge advantage from the start in understanding my client’s issues and heartfelt desires more clearly. I’m able to better aid my clients in releasing their mental and physical energy blockages by helping them understand what is causing their emotional discord.

Energy healing is based on a theory that when one releases blocked energy (negative energy) from the body and mind, it allows for the body, mind, and spirit to become whole and complete, which brings harmony and balance—just as God designed it to be. Being emotionally stagnant is like being stuck in a swamp deep within the shadows of your mind. When you are energetically stuck in low energy vibration, you will feel unhealthy, stressed, sad, lonely, and depressed.

I have used energy therapy for years with great success to help my clients understand how to incorporate life-changing skills at a spiritual level. I also incorporate Emotional Freedom Technique (also known as EFT—I’ll explain it in more detail in just a moment) when needed, which is another energy therapy modality. EFT is a tapping therapy that enables my clients to truly free themselves of emotional pain by releasing negative blockages in their energy fields. I also do one-on-one coaching sessions focused solely on EFT.

Joyce came to me with severe phobias. She had been to several different doctors and therapists and had been on medication, with no reprieve. She had read about EFT therapy on my website and contacted me as a last resort to help her overcome her debilitating condition. Her phobias had increased in intensity through the years, and she had to quit work and was terrified to go beyond a few miles perimeter of her home. When we began her session, I could hear uncertainty and concern in her voice, and I could sense her fears and the loneliness she felt within. As I asked her some questions and then sensed her energy as she answered me; I could feel that her phobias began at a young age. When I asked her, she concurred and said that she recalls being fearful and having claustrophobia when she was a very young child.

As we began her tapping therapy over the phone I asked her to repeat my words and to tap along as we did her session. Before we began, I asked her to rate her feelings from a zero to a ten, with zero being relaxed and carefree and ten being extremely fearful. She replied, “I feel a ten plus.” As we tapped along, I could feel her body shifting, and with each shift she would sigh as a signal of release. At the end of her session, I asked her how she felt, and she said, “Oh my goodness! I haven’t felt this good since before I got married, which was more than twenty-five years ago. I had no idea I could feel so good in just an hour session!” I could hear the joy and jubilation in her voice and could sense that she had indeed shifted beautifully.

A few days later, I followed up with her and she said that she was still doing great. Once again, I gave thanks to God for the gift of energy work in my life. Not only did EFT help my client, but it always also increases my vibration when I assist my clients in their healing. The power of energy work is truly a gift from above. What a blessing it is to know that we can let go of negative energy to release our doubts, worries, fears, and concerns.

As my clients learn how to release resistance and negative thoughts, they’re able to shift into living from their higher self, which allows them to create and manifest intentionally as God intended for them to do. I’m often told during coaching calls, “You are right, Carol! How did you know that?” I’m able to understand intuitively by using my energy to read my clients’ energy. By incorporating Holistic Energy Healing into my coaching, I’m able to better assist my clients. As I mentioned in the introduction, I believe that transformation is a spiritual process that comes by tapping into the power of one’s higher self, the creative source.

By using energy therapy, I’m able to connect with my clients at a much deeper level than merely communicating verbally. Many of my clients don’t even know why they can’t move forward in achieving their goals because their energy is stifled with resistance and because they’re locked in the limiting paradigms in their mind. Using energy therapy with them opens their hearts and minds to understanding what memories they need to clear from childhood to their adult years to allow themselves to let go and heal from their past and then replace those unwanted feelings with the love and light of God. Doing so frees their souls and allows their minds to cultivate their creativity and to dream big dreams, and it increases their faith in God and in themselves.

By using energy therapy to release negative energy, it allows our minds to accept new life skills and reconnect with our higher selves. By living our spiritual truth, it enables us to shift from being trapped in negative energy to being filled with powerful, life-giving positive energy. As my clients learn the power of their own energy, they’re able to overcome their stifling thoughts and limiting beliefs to live loving, fulfilling, joyful lives.

Emotional Freedom Technique

As I mentioned, I also incorporate a powerful energy modality into my coaching programs that was introduced to the world in 1995 by Gary Craig, a Stanford Engineering graduate, called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I discovered EFT at the beginning of my transformational journey. I was divinely guided to it many years ago when I was desperately in need of healing. Gary Craig’s cutting-edge technique hadn’t been out long at the time. I was so excited when I discovered it that I bought everything he offered in order to become an EFT practitioner. I watched all the DVDs and highlighted his large manual as I studied it intently. It was remarkable how much better I felt after I would do a tapping session. I had such great success myself that once I began my coaching career, I began using it in my coaching as well. I also include it in the horse therapy I do. I call it Energy Equine Therapy. It has enabled my horseback-riding clients to heal powerfully as well. EFT is truly a gift from above, and it has made an unmistakable impact on my life.

EFT is a tapping therapy based on psychological acupressure technique, which is based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture treatments to treat physical and emotional ailments. EFT is based on tapping on meridian zones to release negative energy blockages. It is performed by using your own energy by tapping with your fingertips on a few meridian points located on the head, neck, ribs, wrist, and hands, which unblocks negative, stored energy. Tapping is used to input kinetic energy, which radiates from the fingertips, while thinking about a specific problem(s) and focusing on the issue(s) at hand by speaking them out loud while tapping, along with having an intention of love and acceptance for yourself.

While tapping, it is important to reflect on issues that bother you in order to allow the mind to unlock the stuck energy and devolve it by using the kinetic energy from your fingertips. You’ll know when you are stuck and need to clear negative energy when you feel static energy—otherwise known as stress, anxiety, or fear. It’s much like having your TV between channels and having static on the screen. Once you tap to clear the negative energy, it is like picking up the TV remote and switching to a clear channel. This combination of tapping on meridian points and focusing the mind on what’s bothering you enables your body to engage healing energy, which is innately a part of each of us and given by God. By tapping and thinking intently on love and letting go, it unblocks and clears negative energy from your body’s bioenergy system, thus restoring your mind and body’s natural harmony and balance, which is essential for optimal health physically, emotionally, and mentally.

By incorporating EFT into my coaching programs, it enables my clients to change their lives at a subconscious level and allows them to release stored negative energy that has kept them stuck. They’re able to triumph over their past, let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs, eliminate emotional eating, overcome negative self-talk, embrace a positive mental attitude, and love everything about themselves.

Energy healing modalities are truly a gift from above. I have seen miracles take place with my clients by using EFT. If you suffer emotionally, EFT can help you too.

Chapter 9

Letting Go of Negative Energy & Resistance

You’ve done it before, and you can do it now. See the Positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustrations and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.

~ Ralf Marston

We all have an annoying thing called resistance in various aspects of our lives. This resistance keeps us from attaining our goals and dreams. It’s caused by having feelings of self-doubt, resentment, anger, fear, and stress. It’s the negative energy that makes you feel uneasy or makes you question your ability to flourish and succeed.

Thankfully, we can release resistance by letting go of negative energy caused by having limiting thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Although it is possible to release resistance, it takes a willing desire to want to let go of thoughts and beliefs that do not serve you. Many of us have been carrying around ailments of the past for years on end, which is why we’ve been stuck in our stuff for so long. Most of these thoughts we don’t even realize bother us until we really decide to let go of negative energy.

If negative energy is free to run wild in your mind, it can consume your thoughts and play havoc on your emotions, creating a life of dissatisfaction and discouragement. Negativity is like a whirlwind of static energy raging around you. It’s not fun having negative energy, yet so many women are filled with it. But luckily, you don’t have to have resistance in your life. You can let it go by being willing to let go of the pains of the past, which will ease a burdened heart and heal a hurting soul.

Releasing negative energy feels so good! When you let go of negative energy, such as jealousy, bitterness, and resentment, it frees your soul to forgive and forget. It also frees your soul to feel the goodness and wonder that surrounds you. When you are free of negative energy and resistance, you are free to create your life as you desire it to be and free to fill it with all that makes your heart delight.

Your higher self is pure positive energy, and it wants what is physically best for you. That’s why you constantly long to do things that will make you feel better. When you are out of sync with your truth within, you know it by how you feel. It’s not fun to be miserable and frustrated or to feel despair. To shift back into alignment with your higher self, release limiting thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you stuck. When you’re frustrated and your family is too, keep in mind that they are only mirroring you. If you want a happier home, then choose to be happy.

The Consequences of Negative Energy

All negative thoughts and actions have a consequence. This is why we continue to experience the same junk in our lives over and over again. It’s because we fail to change our negative thinking. Without fail, the Law of Attraction is always in action, attracting back to us our dominate vibration. How many family members or friends do you see reliving the same old stuff that they continue to complain about each new day? We are all creators of our life experiences, so if you want to change your future, then you need to change your thoughts.

Mary came to me for help with improving her quality of life. She was unhappy, unmotivated, and disgruntled, and she had lost her enthusiasm for living. She had been stuck emotionally and had harbored a negative mindset for much of her life. She was overweight, lacked self-confidence, and felt alone. She didn’t have a joyful childhood because her parents hadn’t treated her with respect as they should have, her husband left her, and she disliked her job—she was not a happy camper!

During her first coaching call, she expressed how depressing her life was, even though she had a beautiful home, good friends, and a successful career. She articulated how her marriage ended abruptly and how her parents continued to treat her with disrespect as they had when she was younger. She commented on how she lacked the energy and motivation to exercise and how she didn’t have time to make healthy meals. She also expressed that she didn’t enjoy her job and that she longed to meet the man of her dreams who would love and cherish her for who she was.

Little did she realize at the time that it was her negative thoughts and discernment of how “unfair” life was that was causing her such intense emotional anguish. It was her limiting thinking that kept her from attracting the love and respect that she longed for. It didn’t matter how much she tried to be happy and positive, her negative programming was holding her hostage in her mind. She was letting her limiting beliefs and emotions steal away her hopes and dreams for a better life.

By continually reliving her unwanted memories in her mind and giving all her attention to what was missing in her life, she had created exactly what she did not want. It was no surprise that she struggled emotionally and lacked the energy to exercise. Her poor body, mind, and spirit were on survival mode because her energy was all jammed up with negativity and resistance.

It wasn’t long after she began coaching that she came to realize just how harmful her mindset was. Her negative thoughts created negative emotions, which created negative actions and attracted negative experiences that restricted her quality of life. During one of her coaching calls, she had an “aha” moment when she came to realize just how powerful her thoughts, feelings, and emotions were in influencing the life she had created. She soon came to recognize that she could change her life by thinking proactively. She came to believe that she was, without a doubt, worthy and that she deserved to live a happier life filled with love, joy, and inner peace. She soaked up the information I taught her and came to understand that by changing her attitude about the past and her perception of the present that she could change any aspect of her life to attract what she truly wanted back to her. Shortly after she began integrating what she had learned into her daily life, she became invigorated with positive energy!

Everything in her life improved greatly as she allowed herself to let go of the past, rejoice in the now, and embrace a bright and joyful future. She was able to transform her body and life as a result of letting go of negative energy and resistance. She recognized that she never walked alone as she came to know and feel how much God cares for her and loves her. She learned to love herself in an entirely new way as she came to live from her higher self. She recognized just how harsh and disparaging her past negative thoughts were. She came to acknowledge how her past thoughts created her unwanted circumstances in her life and how her new positive mindset was creating her future.

Once she came to realize how limiting her beliefs were, she was also able to release the painful memories of her past and appreciate the beautiful life lessons that she had learned. She came to realize that when she changed her view of how she looked at things from negative to positive, she saw the world in an entirely new light. It was if she had been walking around legally blind and then put glasses on for the first time—her world came alive!

Mary’s life began to change in extraordinary ways, all because she was able to release the hold she had on negative energy and resistance. She came to have an attitude of appreciation for all of her past experiences that had increased her desire for expansion. She forgave those who had offended her, including herself, and she embraced her new way of life.

Mary’s transformation was truly astounding! She lost weight, she learned to love and appreciate her body, she honored herself by eating healthier and exercising daily, and she woke up happy and looked forward to going to work. And not long after, she met the man of her dreams. She was able to fulfill her goals and dreams simply by letting go of negativity and resistance, which enabled her to open her heart and mind to receive the experiences she wanted. It wasn’t until she was willing to let go of the white knuckle hold that she had on being negative that she was able to free herself from negative energy and resistance to create and manifest a positive, fulfilling way of life.

As a coach, I’ve helped women from all walks of life overcome limiting thoughts, feelings, and emotions as I did with Mary. Each had similar stories: they lacked self-love, faith, and confidence, which resulted in negative, limiting energy and resistance. By learning how to release negative energy and resistance (I’ll show you how in a moment), they all have been able to rewrite their stories by having a positive mental attitude.

Do You Have Resistance?

If you haven’t had much luck with attracting your desires, it is likely that you have negative energy, which is also known as resistance. It doesn’t matter what aspect of your life you want to improve, having negative energy will make it much more difficult to manifest. Mary’s negative mindset was her worst enemy. It wasn’t those whom she held responsible that caused her to be unhappy; it was her limiting beliefs and how she perceived her life that made her miserable.

Her downtrodden outlook on life caused resistance to that which she wanted and caused the Law of Attraction to attract back to her more reasons to feel sad, lonely, and depressed. Her viewpoint about the world around her was much too often pessimistic. Her negative thinking caused her to experience heartache and hopelessness because she didn’t look for the experiences she wanted to see. She had forgotten who she really was, which dimmed her radiant light within. Her beautiful true essence was blocked with resistance, leaving her with feelings of doubt, sadness, and despair.

It’s our vibration of thought that brings about our various life experiences. You can’t enjoy the splendors of life if you are stuck in low, negative energy and full of resistance. If you’re stuck in the past or stuck having stifling, negative, fearful energy of the future, you will remain in your current set of circumstances.

But if you’re ready to really take hold of your life as Mary did, then do yourself a HUGE FAVOR and let go of resistance that does not serve you! Resistance is feelings and beliefs such as holding a grudge, judging yourself and others, not offering forgiveness, and looking for the negative rather than the positive. If you don’t stop doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll always get what you’ve been getting. You must change your thoughts to change your life. Your thoughts are a preview of that which you will attract today, tomorrow, in a week, or in years to come. Remember, what you think about, you bring about.

Just as Mary was able to improve her quality of life by letting go of negativity and resistance, so can you! You too can transform your life in remarkable ways. You can love yourself unconditionally and live in an attitude of gratitude, love, and contentment. Having resistance to what you want and having a negative mindset is highly toxic to your body, mind, and spirit. Negativity causes disease in the body, which is “disease” in energy. When you have negative energy, it will show up as ailments in your body, causing sickness, heartache, and pain in addition to emotional duress, such as anxiety and depression, to name a few. Negativity always creates resistance, which is the energy culprit that keeps you from attaining your goals and dreams.

Resistance is like a barricade between two highways going north and south; if you are traveling south and need to turn around to go north, you can’t make a U-turn and go the other way unless the barricade is removed. Resistance is the same; it blocks you from receiving and prevents you from making that U-turn. If you have resistance, which is a belief of something not being attainable for you, then no matter how much you wish for something you will always find it difficult to attain or achieve.

Recall that you can tell if you have resistance by the way you feel. Feelings of doubt, worry, concern, and disbelief of the fact that you can achieve what you want is your body’s way of indicating that you have resistance to that which is wanted. We all experience negative emotions. They are natural and purposeful because they guide us, letting us know what we want and what is best for our highest good; however, letting negativity overpower you is what hinders you from manifesting intentionally, and it’s detrimental for your well-being.

If you have resistance, don’t worry, you can clear it from your energy fields by changing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions to be more positive. Begin by looking for the good in everyone and in every situation, including the things you have experienced in the past. It may be difficult at first, but with continued practice and perseverance it will become your natural state of mind. And when you get upset now and again, it’s okay. Just do your best to get back on track. Remember, it does not serve you to hold onto negative energy—it only keeps you from manifesting your dreams.

Don’t Try to Fight It

If you try to put the thoughts that bother you most in the back of your mind or if try to “fight them” by telling yourself, “I’m not going to think about (whatever it is that bothers you),” then guess what? All you are doing is feeding the negative memory and giving it more energy to grow and fester in the back of your mind—energy always flows where your attention goes. Just like when I tell you NOT to think about eating a decadent dessert, such as a double chocolate mousse cake with delicious chocolate fudge frosting and whipped cream. No matter how much you try not to think about it, you can’t help but see a delicious chocolate cake in your mind’s eye—plus, you are probably drooling right now.

Trying to obliterate a memory has the same effect in your mind and body. When you think about it, even if you’re trying to repress the thought, you experience it energetically over and over again—not good! Or if you try to put it “under a rug” in your mind, it will just get bigger and bigger the more you try to hide it, and you’ll end up tripping over it time and again. By trying to ignore or hide unwanted memories, it only causes what’s bothering you to fester and grow within, only to erupt at any given moment, causing you to overreact or lash out. If you want to thrive and be truly happy, resolve today to release the negative energy and resistance that is holding you hostage in your mind.

When you look for the life lessons learned or accept that you sometimes will have negative thoughts and stop fighting them, you will be able to release the emotional negative charge that connects you to the memories that cause you emotional upset. Look for the blessings that came from enduring each experience and articulate how it made you a better, stronger, more empathic woman, and then give thanks for the lessons you learned. Life has a way of repeating itself until the needed life lesson is learned, so the sooner you learn the life lesson, the sooner the experience goes away for good.

Letting Go

We all have chapters in our lives that we would rather keep sealed closed. We all have done things that we’re not proud of, believe it or not. No one is perfect. You don’t have to live under that cloud of denial and darkness anymore; you really can release unwanted emotions and beliefs and recreate wonderful, joyful beliefs of happiness and love. Remember, life was meant to be joyful in all areas of life. You can let go of unwanted negative energy, but only if you are willing to do so.

In addition to doing emotional clearing exercises as explained in earlier chapters, there are several ways to release and cleanse negative energy and resistance to rid yourself of unwanted feelings that are keeping you stuck. (I will also give you an emotional release & letting go exercise to do below.) As mentioned, EFT works wonderfully, but there are other options as well: the Sedona Method, journaling, and other types of energy therapy, including rapid eye movement, acupuncture, homeopathy, cranio-sacral therapy, and reiki to name a few, all of which are wonderful and effective energy modalities. (Each type of modality can be researched online to find healers in your area.) Any emotional clearing and releasing is highly beneficial for your body, mind, and spirit, and it will help you to become whole and complete. By releasing limiting thoughts and beliefs caused by having negative energy and resistance, you will skyrocket toward your desires, which will spur your energy and passion toward believing that you can receive and manifest with intention. The keystone of clearing negative energy and resistance is to be at peace with the experiences that caused you to expand. The subconscious mind will do everything in its power (it is very powerful) to protect you. It holds onto memories and feelings of harm more so than holding onto fond memories in order to prevent the same harm from coming to you again and again.

By accepting uncomfortable memories as needed experiences for expansion, your subconscious will be at peace with that particular memory. If you find it difficult to let go of an undesirable memory, try talking to yourself as though you were a friend. Explain that the experience brought about wonderful life lessons that were necessary to assist you with becoming the incredible woman you are today.

Realize that your life journey brought you to this time and space. Had you not had an experience that contrasted with what you wanted to experience in your life, then you would not have had a reason for expansion or the opportunity to become all that you were destined to be. Nor would you be humble and have a contrite spirit and a yearning to turn to God for guidance and comfort in your life. And you would not be reading this book now, which is enriching your understanding of your purpose and providing you with the knowledge of how powerful you really are.

Emotional Release & Letting Go Exercise

To better enable you to release resistance, below is an exercise to assist you in clearing negative energy. To begin the process of releasing and letting go, sit quietly where you know you will be undisturbed. Get out a pad of paper and a pen that you feel comfortable writing your emotions down on. For this exercise, I would also suggest that you use paper that can be thrown away.

As you begin, know that you are worthy of receiving divine love and guidance no matter what your past is. Cherish all that you are as you do the Emotional Releasing Exercise below to assist you in letting go of the past once and for all. Please be patient with yourself. Remember, it took years to create the memories, and it will take time to release the resistance fully. Your memories and emotions have energy layers. If you wipe out the core issue that fuels your emotions, then the outer layers will also disappear, but if you only touch the surface, then you will have more clearing to do. Use this clearing tool whenever you feel impressed upon to do so.

Set an Intention of Letting Go

Before you begin doing this exercise, set an intention of letting go. Believe that you deserve a better life. As you begin, I would like you to do a few things to prepare your mind. First, turn off all electronics. Then, find a quiet place where you will be undisturbed. Sit comfortably and begin to quiet your mind. Have the pad of paper and pencil in front of you. Commence with a prayer asking for divine guidance and then set your intention by saying, “I am willing to let go.”

Close your eyes and take three deep cleansing breaths and imagine a bright golden white light coming down from the heavens like a vortex swirling down through the top of your head (crown chakra) and filtering through each fiber and cell of your body. Visualize the light going down and out of the bottom of your feet into the earth, taking along with it the resistance to letting go, negative thoughts of doubt, fears, and any other energy blockages. Feel the warmth of the energy as it protects you and heals you. Then take three more cleansing breaths. Now you are ready to begin.

Forgive & Forget

On the piece of paper in front of you, write down emotional experiences that caused you pain, sadness, or fear. Go back as far as you can in your childhood memories and write down anything or anyone that made you feel upset, bad, or sad. It will take time to bring up all of the experiences, and you’ll find that uncomfortable feelings will come to the surface. Really take the time to go deep down into your subconscious and your emotions to find those limiting thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you.

After you have written down the unwanted experiences, reflect on each experience one by one by focusing on what lessons you learned by enduring that experience. Look for what made you stronger, wiser, more resilient, etc. Then, picture the people who took part in that experience and bless them with love. If you can, forgive them for causing you harm in one way or another and let it go. Recall that those who hurt us have inner turmoil too. Forgive and forget. Forgiving them will free your soul and bring peace to your heart.

Express to yourself that each experience happened “on purpose” to assist you in learning the life lessons you needed to be taught at that time in your life to assist you in creating your dreams. Each experience can be a gift of understanding if you look for the good in every situation in your life. As horrible as it may seem, remember that it was truly a step of your life journey that was meant to be. Had you not experienced such things, you would not be the outstanding woman you are today.

Allow yourself to give the memories away. Close your eyes and visualize putting ALL of your negative memories, filled with worries, fears, concerns, suffering, and pain, into a great big garbage bag. It can be any color, and it can be as big as you think it needs to be. After mentally filling the garbage bag, tie it off tightly with a golden string. Then ask the Lord to send down his administrating angels to take your burden-filled garbage bag from you to give to the Savior. As you do, visualize the Savior lovingly taking your troubles and pain and then making them vaporize in a bright white light. Give thanks and allow the healing power of the Atonement to heal your suffering and pain. Realize that heavenly hosts sincerely care and know you personally and that it is okay to release the unwanted emotions that do not serve you. You no longer have to carry them. You can let them go.

Now take another three deep, cleansing breaths and rip up what you wrote on the paper into tiny pieces and throw it away. After you have disposed of your list of negativity, take three more deep clearing breaths, and then imagine the Lord’s great white golden light filling your entire body with pure positive energy and light. Feel the lightness and peacefulness in your countenance. Then feel the unconditional love that the Savior has for you as He encircles you with His spirit.

Your Gifts & Appreciation

On a new sheet of paper, write down all the wonderful gifts you enjoy and appreciate about your body, family, and life with a grateful heart that is filled with love, joy, and true happiness. Focus on every good thing in your life: all the miracles, the gifts, the joys, and the love that you experience each day. Then place that piece of paper in a special location where you can read it often.

As you move back into your regular activities, give thanks over and over throughout the day. Feel the feelings of gratitude in your heart and mind, reflecting on all the good the Lord has blessed you with. Always believe that you are deserving of all the good life has to offer!

Well done! You have just released limiting thoughts and beliefs that have kept you stuck and restricted you from connecting with your spirit fully, and you have begun to create new powerful beliefs of love and belief. Now you will be able to move forward in creating and manifesting a higher quality of life.

Chapter 10

The Gift of Forgiveness

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.

~ Lewis B. Smedes

Do you really want to be happier, healthier, and more prosperous? Then learn to forgive the unforgivable. We all need forgiveness. No one is perfect, and we all say and do things we don’t really mean at times. Yet we frequently refuse to forgive one another, even over simple mistakes, or we refuse to forgive ourselves even though God has forgiven us. Do you realize that forgiveness is required of us by God? If we want to be forgiven of our sins, we must forgive others of their trespasses.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts that you can give to YOU! Yes, I said you! Forgiveness is actually an eternal blessing for the forgiver. When you forgive someone in your life, it enriches you and brings solace to the heart and mind. The act of forgiveness will free your soul of contentment and discord to help you live a meaningful life filled with the gifts and blessing of our Divine Birthright.

Holding onto resentment doesn’t feel good because it’s not good! Contemplate how you feel when you are holding a grudge against someone who offended you in one way or another. You feel uptight and perhaps you get a knot in your stomach at the thought of them. Those feelings and sensations are your body expressing to you loud and clear that having resentment only causes you to feel discomfort and contention within. It doesn’t hurt the other person; it only hurts you.

When you feel hostile toward someone or want revenge, you are sending out very low vibrations, which attract back to you more reasons to feel resentful about yourself and your relationship with them. Do you see the evil pattern withholding forgiveness brings? It doesn’t serve you in any way to hold onto anger, bitterness, resentment, and vengeance. God didn’t create us to fight with one another or tear each other down; He created us to be able to enrich and uplift each other.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

We have all been richly blessed with the gift of forgiveness; it is a spiritual gift from God to help us live joyful, happy lives. It brings peace to the oppressed, hope for the distressed, and rest for the weary. Forgiveness allows us to heal fully from painful experiences and move forward with hope and love in our hearts. Can you relate to time in your life when you forgave someone you had been withholding forgiveness from? Do you remember how freeing it felt, as if a mountain had been lifted off of your shoulders?

Offering forgiveness releases heaviness in the heart, and it brings about tranquility, compassion, and joy. On the flip side, when you refuse to forgive someone, can you sense the burden of not forgiving? Harboring unfavorable feelings toward another is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick or die. It doesn’t work—it will only hurt you.

Keep in mind that nobody is without fault and nobody is perfect—including you. When you think about those you are angry with for one reason or another, stop and think about what it is you are really angry about because usually what we get upset about actually has nothing to do what’s going on around us. Can you sense the discord within when you focus on being mad at someone? It doesn’t feel good, does it? That’s because it’s not good for you physically, spiritually, or emotionally. But thankfully there is a solution for that—it’s offering forgiveness.

When you choose to forgive, you liberate your soul of the misery and anguish resentment brings. Having resentment is toxic to the body. It’s why you feel awful physically when you withhold forgiveness; the negative energy is not conducive for health and vitality. Resentment leads to feelings of revenge and hate, which destroys health and well-being. Who would consciously choose a life of misery and suffering? None of us would. But that’s what happens when we refuse to forgive.

If you really want to live a life free from headache and misery, then it’s essential that you embrace the spirit of forgiveness by being willing to forgive. You will never be able to heal emotionally if you continue to have resentful feelings toward someone else—or if you harbor resentment toward yourself. Forgiveness is necessary if you desire inner peace and solace; it brings peace and harmony to the body, mind, and spirit to live a life of free of toil and strife with others.

Forgiveness is for the Forgiver

As I indicated earlier, forgiveness is actually for the forgiver. We all need forgiveness in our lives because it liberates the soul from bitterness, agony, and pain. The power of forgiveness enables the power of God to fill your heart with love, compassion, understanding, and light. It releases the soul from the bondage that withholding forgiveness brings.

Think of a time when you forgave someone who hurt you. Do you remember the peacefulness you had once you forgave? It’s easy to forget just how powerful forgiveness is when you are angry, but once you take a moment to think twice about how you feel, it’s natural to have the desire for forgiveness because you were created to have joy. Without implementing forgiveness, it’s impossible to have true and everlasting joy. Even forgiving what seems to be the most “unforgivable” is needed to feel inner peace and regain your life back from suffering silently in the memories of your past.

Forgiving another truly is remarkable for the forgiver; it brings about feelings of love instead of hate, courage instead of fear, peace instead of conflict, and joy instead of sorrow. Living a life filled with immense joy and peace isn’t possible without the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the vessel that relieves misery and suffering, and it allows emotional healing to take place. It is literally impossible to move forward in happiness to create and manifest your dreams if you are stuck in animosity and hate.

Embrace Forgiveness in Your Life

I couldn’t imagine my life without the healing power of forgiveness. Being able to offer and receive forgiveness in my life allows me to become closer to God and my higher self. It brings peace to my soul in such a way that words cannot adequately define. I feel as if heavenly angels come down and encircle me with divine love, light, and inner strength. When I’m upset at myself or have unwanted feelings toward another, I turn to God for help in allowing forgiveness to take place in my heart. Without fail, I become more empathetic and understanding of the situation, which helps me to liberate myself from the past and forgive.

It’s not unusual to become resentful toward another person, especially those who are outright rude and disrespectful. But as I mentioned before, holding on to resentment will only bring you down, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. By incorporating the gift of forgiveness, you can give your burdens to the Lord and let them go.

In my youth, I came to realize that holding a grudge or being jealous only harms me. It wasn’t until I pondered the power of forgiveness and incorporated it into my life repeatedly that I was able to come to a place where I was able to see the goodness in others more clearly and was able to look beyond their imperfections. I decided in my youth to do my best to choose not to be offended, and when I did take offense, I was then more able to forgive and forget quickly.

By harboring harsh feelings toward others, you limit your ability to be truly healthy and happy. You can’t forgive yourself or another (or ask others for forgiveness) with an attitude of distress and resentment. No matter how hard you try—it won’t happen. Rather than having destructive, angry feelings within, choose to let go. Although you need to let go of anger toward another to forgive, often we also need to think twice about what’s really bothering us. We may not actually be upset about what we think we’re upset about. It’s easy to get all riled up because of something someone said or did when that person didn’t mean to cause you distress or intend to hurt you at all. I’ve heard people say, “I can read between the lines. I know what she really meant,” when there really wasn’t anything between the lines to be read.

If you choose to take offense, it is just that—a choice. Choosing to be offended is basically giving your power away. You are allowing another person to dictate how you feel, and that’s why you feel emotionally weak or vulnerable when you do. Being easily offended is not an attractive trait; it only signifies that you are unhappy with who you are and that you have some emotional clearing and forgiving of yourself to do.

It’s all too easy to get lost in self-pity and sorrow when you’re in the mode of being easily offended, which leads to more emotional devastation. You might fall into the trap of being envious of others or you might take on a victim mentality, which only creates unwanted feelings and unhappiness within. When we become stuck in such negativity we become selfish and prideful, which leads to discord and unkindness in ourselves. This inner turmoil makes it very difficult to say “I’m sorry” when we’re to blame or to accept an apology when one is given. It’s actually quite sad if you think about how holding onto unkind feelings causes us to be spiteful, resentful, arrogant, and unkind. Thomas S. Monson explains in the Ensign, in the April 2002 article “Hidden Wedges”:

Sometimes we can take offense so easily. On other occasions we are too stubborn to accept a sincere apology. Who will subordinate ego, pride, and hurt—then step forward with, “I am truly sorry! Let’s be as we once were: friends. Let’s not pass to future generations the grievances, the anger of our time.” Let’s remove any hidden wedges that can do nothing but destroy. Where do hidden wedges originate? Some come from unresolved disputes, which lead to ill feelings, followed by remorse and regret. Others find their beginnings in disappointments, jealousies, arguments, and imagined hurts. We must solve them—lay them to rest and not leave them to canker, fester, and ultimately destroy.

If you have hidden wedges in your life, cut the ties and let them go. Holding onto resentment, disputes, and ill feelings only hurts YOU. Just as Thomas S. Monson taught, you must solve your conflicts and lay them to rest to save yourself from agony and emotional pains that ultimately destroy.

Perception is Everything

As I mentioned before, perception is everything! When you change your perception of someone, it will change your feelings and emotions toward them. Two different people can witness someone being unkind and rude and walk away with two totally different feelings. You could look at that person with empathy, recognizing that she was probably just having a really bad day and move on without a second thought about it. Or you could argue back and take on her negative energy and dwell on how annoying and unthoughtful she was. Each of us would relate a different experience even though we had the exact same experience because of how we perceived it.

Anyone who hurts another person on purpose is actually declaring with an “energy megaphone” that they feel discontentment and dissonance within. So if you think about it, everyone who has hurt you was actually only expressing how unhappy they felt about themselves. Controlling people are those who feel out of control in their own lives. Mean and despiteful people are those who feel unloved and uncared for. Dishonest and untrustworthy people are those who suffer from despair.

When you come to fully realize that it’s easier to let go of the judgments and contention toward people who have treated you unkindly instead of holding painful memories of those events that caused you pain, you will be able to look at those people with empathy and understand that they are trying to deal with their own emotional pain and spiritual dissonance within. It is how you perceive the pain inflicted by others (whether or not it was intentional) that either makes or breaks you.

Chandra came to me in need of emotional healing. She had recently had gone through a horrible divorce, and she was trying to heal from years of emotional abuse. As I began coaching her, she cried as she expressed how horrible she felt and how awfully her ex-husband had treated her. She felt ashamed of her life and didn’t like who she had become. She had intense resentment and hatred toward her ex-husband, and she was angry. She wanted the world to know just how awful he really was, even though he came across as a highly successful man.

Chandra soon realized that holding ill, vengeful feelings toward her ex-husband didn’t serve her; in fact, it did just the opposite. It caused her more agony and pain with each ill thought she would think about him each day. She hadn’t thought twice about forgiving her ex-husband; she was fiercely holding onto her hostile memories of the past to ensure everyone would know just how awful of a man he was, which ultimately brought her more feelings of despair and misery, which were reflected back to her as her life mirrored her feelings and beliefs.

She came to appreciate her own self-worth as she regained her inner power and strength. She recognized that her ex-husband’s past actions were a direct expression of how he felt about himself, and in reality, they didn’t have anything to do with her. His controlling behavior was a direct reflection of how low his self-esteem was. She learned that his past actions actually didn’t have anything to do with who she was, but rather it was his attempt to control the “lack of control” he felt within.

With each passing day, Chandra was able to forgive him more and more. She was able to let go of the harsh pains that she carried with her for so many years—it was liberating! Each week, during her coaching calls, she would report how much better she was doing and how her ex-husband actually had begun talking to her with respect! She said, “Carol, in all my years of marriage, he’d never treated me with respect, and now he’s asking for my opinion and speaking to me kindly…I can’t believe how much he’s changed!” I congratulated her on how much she had shifted and explained that he was no longer treating her with disrespect and control because she had stepped into her power and had forgiven him, which directly influenced the dynamics between them toward a higher energetic vibration. She was in awe!

Bit by bit, she had allowed herself to forgive, and she was able to begin to heal from the emotional turmoil that she had suffered with for so many years. Once she felt the peacefulness that forgiveness brings, she began to change her life. She also forgave herself for feeling that she “deserved” to be treated poorly, which ignited self-love. The more she opened her heart to forgiveness, the more empowered she became. She was able to step into her power by forgiving both herself and her ex-husband, which enabled her to relish in happiness and joy.

Because Chandra chose to fill her heart with love and allowed herself to let go, she truly transformed her life! No longer did she have resentment toward her ex, nor did she doubt her abilities to live a happy way of life. Nor did she suffer in agony anymore; she was able to release her resentment of her past. She was able to release her emotional pains and became filled with self-love, respect, and belief—everything about her life changed. To this day, she comments to me during her coaching calls how amazed she is with how miraculously her life has changed. She is now happily married and lives life to the fullest.

Forgiveness Brings Happiness

Just as Chandra was able to forgive, we all can do the same. Having animosity toward another will do nothing but cause turmoil in your soul, and quite frankly, that not a fun way to live! Honor yourself by allowing yourself to forgive and forget to free your soul from misery and heartache. Holding onto resentment will just cause you to feel unhappy, unwell, and distrusting. Instead, allow your heart to open to the energy of forgiveness by having thoughts of love and thankfulness.

If you truly want to be happy, then decide here and now to forgive—often. Don’t let meaningless situations upset you. When you are driving and someone cuts you off or when a family member says something that normally upsets you, rather than letting it get under your skin, just let it be and forget about it. It helps to have an attitude of gratitude and love for those you come in contact with to defuse any misunderstandings beforehand.

Forgiveness really does bring about peace and happiness, but sometimes offering forgiveness is easier said than done. If you struggle with having unkind feelings toward yourself or others, be patient. It takes time to soften your heart enough to truly forgive. If you struggle with offering forgiveness ask for help. Pray for divine help to support you while you release the bitter pains of the past. This will enable you to forgive. Trust that forgiveness is possible. Forgiveness brings about comfort, solace, and peace like nothing else can.

Once you forgive without conditions, you will feel so much better! It will seem as though a huge weight has been taken off your shoulders. You will feel light and peaceful within. Forgiveness enables you to have a sense of well-being and serenity, and it allows healing to take place. You deserve to be happy; you deserve to be free of sadness and sorrow. You deserve to forgive! Forgiveness is for all of us. Not one of us is undeserving of forgiveness or should be so proud as not to forgive others or accept forgiveness. Without giving forgiveness to others, how can you expect God or others to forgive you? Forgiveness must be given in order to be forgiven in return.

If you are trying desperately to forgive but are finding that each time you think of the person you feel uncomfortable and feel tension within, then pray for help. Ask the Lord to soften your heart so that you can forgive. Look for the life lessons to be learned to enable your subconscious mind to realize that your experience was necessary for your learning and growth. Then, give thanks for the lessons learned and forgive. You can say out loud, “I forgive you!” to proclaim your freedom. You will then sense peace and calmness come over you, letting you know that you did, in fact, forgive.

You can offer forgiveness right now to enable you to feel peacefulness within. Take a moment to reflect on someone who upset you in the past. However, this time, rather than thinking about the negative aspect of that memory, focus your attention on the positive. For instance, notice how much more understanding and compassionate you are now because of your involvement with that person or notice how much more sympathetic you have become for others who have had similar experiences. Now see yourself as the queen that you are and look upon the one that hurt you as if that person were a child. Look into that child’s eyes…what do you see? Do you see sadness and loneliness reflecting back at you? Now look for the light in that person. Can you sense that he or she is also a child of God? If so, focus on that feeling, and then see yourself talking to that person in your mind’s eye and offering forgiveness to them by saying, “I forgive you.” Then express your well wishes for that person and ask the Lord to bless them.

By blessing those who hurt you, what you are actually indirectly doing is blessing yourself. Even with the gift of forgiveness, the Law of Attraction is attracting blessings back to you, to be received by the power of God. Remember that God wants only the best for you. That is why He teaches us to love and bless our enemies. Ultimately, forgiving our enemies is an eternal blessing for the forgiver.

The Healing Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be difficult when you feel that those who harmed you do not deserve your forgiveness, especially in cases of abuse or other events that caused you physical pain. In such cases, you must dig deep within your soul to allow the pain and agony to be released. Forgiveness heals the forgiver much more than the one who is forgiven. By offering forgiveness, it will not only help you feel better, but it will also increase your health, happiness, and well-being.

Offering forgiveness heals a broken heart, releases stress, improves health and vitality, improves sleep, improves mental health, and strengthens the immune system. One study from the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as stress relief.[3] Incorporating forgiveness in your life can bring long-term health and wellness. Do you now understand just how powerful it is to forgive?

Get in the habit of practicing forgiveness freely. When you forgive freely, you will have a higher quality of life and you will shift into a higher vibration, which will then attract more wonderful experiences to gladden your heart and bring joy to your soul. As Martin Luther King, Jr. taught, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”

Detailed Steps to Forgive Another

If you find it challenging to forgive, use the steps below to help soften your heart to allow yourself to offer and receive forgiveness freely.

Take a few moments to quiet your mind. Breathe deeply and let go of the cares of your day. In your mind’s eye, picture the person or people who caused you emotional distress.

Now visualize that person or people standing in front of you. Look at them with love and see them as they are: children of God, just like you. Look into their eyes and sense how they feel. You will probably feel that they too have deep emotional pain, which is what caused the contention in their hearts.

Tell them how you feel and express how you no longer wish to carry the burden they placed upon you. As the carried experiences come out of you, see yourself offering your burdens up to the Lord and watch them as they go up into the sky. Now offer the person or people forgiveness by telling them, “I forgive you unconditionally.”

Now ask the Lord to bless them to receive your forgiveness as you willingly release all judgment toward them. See God’s bright golden white light fill your entire being and then watch as it fills their entire beings, filling your essence with His light and love. Bless them and wish them well, and watch them turn and walk away until you can no longer see them in your mind’s eye.

Then, finally, give thanks to God for the gift of forgiveness. See yourself filled with His healing power of love and light. Lastly, focus on the sense of lightness in your heart and feel the peace in your soul.

After doing this exercise, you should feel a calm reassurance that all is well. You should have inner peace when you think of that person. If you still feel resistance, continue the forgiveness process until you no longer feel yucky feelings when you think of them. To test yourself to see if you forgave completely, think of the person who you tried to forgive. If you feel nothing toward them, you have fully forgiven them. But if you still feel uncomfortable, do the exercise again and say the words, “I freely forgive them. I am thankful for the life lessons I learned and pray that the Lord will comfort and bless them.” These words are powerful and will resonate with your soul, bringing you blessings and joy in return.

It takes time to forgive, so don’t get upset if you just can’t seem to let go of the resentment and bitterness. Give yourself space to forgive; some circumstances are easy to forgive, while others take more effort and time. If you struggle with forgiving someone in particular, ask God to help you forgive. Remember, when you bless those who persecute you, what you are actually doing is blessing yourself. Give your burdens to the Lord and leave the past behind you once and for all.

Learn to Forgive Yourself

Have you noticed how much easier it is to forgive someone else than yourself? I have had many clients who had difficulty in forgiving themselves for mistakes that they made ten to twenty years ago. Unfortunately, even when you know that it’s hurting you to hold onto this shame, it’s much easier to forgive others than ourselves. How often do you think back to experiences in your life that you still kick yourself over today? Offering forgiveness to ourselves is just as essential and healing as it is to offer it to someone else.

If you have thoughts of the past that seem to “haunt” you, then you need to forgive yourself and release yourself from suffering. Forgiving ourselves isn’t always easy; it takes time to truly forgive yourself of mistakes you made. The quickest way to forgive yourself is to ask God for forgiveness first. By asking for forgiveness with a contrite spirit and a humble heart, it will enable you to receive forgiveness from above, which will lighten your heart, enabling you to forgive yourself too.

Without the precious gift of forgiveness, we would be filled with insurmountable negative memories of the past, which would hold us captive as prisoners in our minds. Without forgiveness for your past actions, it would be as if you were locked in a deep, dark dungeon far, far away with a ball and chain around your ankle. Luckily that’s not how you were created to be. You were created with the ability to unlock yourselves from the bitterness and anguish that is caused by holding anger and animosity about your past shortcomings by loving yourself unconditionally and forgiving yourself freely. Forgiveness of yourself is the key to unlocking the ball and chain to become happy and free once more.

Remember that nobody is perfect—we all make mistakes. If you have a grudge against yourself, then now is the time to release it and move forward with joy and peace within. Withholding forgiveness to yourself causes unquenchable guilt and emotional pain. God loves you unconditionally and wants you to thrive, but you can’t be happy if you are stuck beating yourself up emotionally day in and day out.

As I said earlier, to forgive yourself, ask God for forgiveness first. Most often when we aren’t willing to forgive ourselves, it’s because we feel we have failed God. I’ve heard many times throughout my coaching career, “How can God forgive and love me after what I’ve done?” What my clients failed to understand is that God loves them regardless of what they have done. He loves you unconditionally too! If you have guilt within, then turn to the Lord by kneeling down with a humble heart and asking for forgiveness. God knows you personally, He knows you by name, He knows your heart, and He knows that all of His children make mistakes. His son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for the remission of our sins. God understands everything you are going through, but He doesn’t want you to suffer; He wants you to thrive—which is brought about by forgiveness. So know that you too can be forgiven, which will open your heart to enable you to finally forgive yourself.

One of my dear clients had a very difficult time loving herself. After a few sessions, we were doing energy work to help her release the limiting beliefs that were holding her back. As we discussed her past experiences, she brought up a few that she was deeply ashamed of, so much so that she hadn’t ever told anyone about what she had done before. As she began telling me what she did, she began to cry and mentioned how awful she felt about herself.

As I listened with a heart full of love and support, I reminded her that God loves her more than she can comprehend and that she can ask for forgiveness and move on with her life. She inquired, “How can He love me after all I’ve done?” and I replied, “By the power of the Atonement. That’s why Christ died for us. He did for the remission of our sins.” I then said, “If God can forgive you, don’t you think you deserve to forgive yourself?” I explained that all that matters is the here and now and the direction she was presently heading—the past is the past.

Although she made a lot of mistakes in her younger years, that person wasn’t the woman she was today. I could sense her shift as the light of Christ filled her heart. Her voice was filled with relief and peacefulness as she said, “Yes, I can forgive myself.” She then paused for a moment and said, “I forgive myself!” She giggled in delight! She said that she felt as if a huge boulder had been taken from her back. Her call ended with her rediscovering her inner peace and well-being, which she had shut herself off from many years ago.

Just as my client found peace and solace by forgiving herself, so can you. If you’ve asked God for forgiveness and you still find it difficult to forgive yourself, then you can do the exercise on the following page to help you let go of self-judgment and allow yourself to truly forgive yourself once and for all.

Steps to Forgiving Yourself

Find a quiet place in your home where you can be alone. Play some soft, relaxing music that spurs emotion in your heart.

Get a notebook and pen and find a comfortable place to write.

Take five deep, cleansing breaths. Say a heartfelt prayer asking God to help you forgive yourself.

Write a loving letter from your adult self to your child within. Begin by writing, “Dear (write your first name), I am so sorry for the mistakes I’ve made. Please forgive me for…” And then begin writing down any mistakes or decisions that you have made that you still feel ashamed of, even years later.

At the end of your letter write the words, “Thank you for forgiving me and for loving me unconditionally. I love you!”

Then rip up your letter into tiny pieces and throw it away.

Then take a moment to fill your soul with the love and light of God by giving thanks for the gift and healing power of forgiveness in your life. Relish in all that you are and trust in your ability to forgive.

Chapter 11

An Attitude of Gratitude & Appreciation

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.

~ Brian Tracy

Having an attitude of gratitude is such a wonderful mindset to have! Being grateful and having feelings of appreciation are more powerful than you may realize. Gratitude and appreciation are the basis of creation. You can’t become healthier without being thankful for your health. You can’t be happier if you are ungrateful, you can’t attract the love of your life if you don’t love and appreciate yourself, and you can’t increase your income if you aren’t grateful for the income you already have. Gratitude and appreciation is the key to immense happiness and success.

Having an attitude of gratitude and feelings of appreciation goes a long way in attracting back more to be grateful for! Oprah Winfrey expounds about being thankful. She explains, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” When you focus on lack, you will surely have more reason to validate why you don’t have enough. It does not serve you to focus on what’s missing in your life; it only causes emotional discomfort, because noticing what you don’t have is not your natural way of being.

Positive Benefits of Gratitude

Gratitude is an expression of love. It’s the absence of resistance to that which is wanted; it’s the absence of doubt, fear, and bad feelings. By looking at what is already going well in your life, you will bring about a sense of gratitude and appreciation, which is the energy of abundance. When you appreciate your life as it is now, you open the floodgates to allow more abundance to flow to you. It’s the energy of creation.

Gratitude is an energy of light and love that touches your very soul. You may be thinking, “I’m not always grateful, and I’m not always positive,” and that’s just fine. As I’ve mentioned before, the contrast in your life helps you to know what you do and do not want. This contrast also enables you to feel gratitude and have appreciation for what you already have, which in turn attracts more to be grateful for. You don’t have to be in a good mood all the time, and you don’t have to always have an attitude of gratitude either, but you do need to try your best to be grateful in order to become everything that you wish to be. When your heart is filled with gratitude, you are in a very high energetic vibration, which radiates powerfully from you and serves as the core of creation. If you seriously want to create the life and body of your dreams, then you need to appreciate what you already have in order to be able to create more of the things you like that are already working for you.

Every aspect of being grateful and being appreciative is uplifting and empowering. When you are in an attitude of gratitude, you naturally feel better because you have more inner peace and a sense of well-being. And when you are in a mindset of gratitude, it’s natural to see more things around you that you like and appreciate, which increases the positive feedback around you instead of the negativity. You will see the goodness around you, such as noticing a sparkle in your neighbor’s eye or seeing an act of kindness when one person helps another or recognizing that your family cleaned your home for you when you came home from work. As you go about your day, be grateful for the simple abundances and the pleasures in life. Appreciate the great beauty and abundance Mother Nature so effortlessly displays, and appreciate the love in a child’s smile. Look for that which you long to see.

When you have an attitude of gratitude, you are in alignment with your higher self—the feeling helps you be in sync with the larger part of you, the source within you. Having an attitude of thankfulness enables you to see the world in a different perspective. It gives hope where there was doubt, faith where there was fear, peace where there was strife, and love where there was hate. When you are continually thankful and when you express your gratitude to the heavens above throughout the day, you are announcing energetically that you are worthy of more goodness and abundance of every kind, which inspires your dreams and enlightens your mind.

Being thankful for the many gifts and blessings in our lives is the key that unlocks the door to everlasting happiness, joy, prosperity, and peace. If being optimistic and grateful isn’t your natural mindset, don’t worry. You can create a new belief and cultivate a habit of having an attitude of gratitude by being more positive and appreciative. To do so, focus on what you appreciate and are grateful for on a daily basis. You can begin by waking up in the morning and thinking to yourself, “I’m thankful it’s a new day!” or “I’m grateful that the sun is shining and that it’s a beautiful day.” Go general at first, and then let one positive thought lead to another and then another. Within a minute or two, you will be in an attitude of gratitude. If you slip up and start to think negatively again, it’s okay…just begin focusing your attention on what you appreciate and are grateful for.

I try my best to have an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis. Each day when I wake up, before I get out of bed, I express my thankfulness to God for the aspects of my life that I cherish. I also thank Him for the things that I have set my intention upon that will manifest in my life. I visualize the manifestation of my desires as I practice the feeling of gratitude, and I see myself living the life of my dreams. I then roll onto my knees and say a heartfelt prayer, thanking Him for my good night’s rest and for the many blessings I will receive that day. Without fail, it sets my day in a positive direction, which enables me to start my day on the right foot. Being grateful from the first moment of my day makes me a happier wife and mother as I make breakfast and get my family off to school and work.

When I live in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation, I’m happier, more understanding, patient, content, joyful, and prosperous. It’s only when my mind gets in the way that I lose my focus on being thankful and find that life can be difficult. When I catch myself complaining, I quickly shift my thoughts to the parts of my life that I am grateful for, which shifts my perspective and gladdens my heart. Sometimes it shifts quickly, while other times it takes me longer, but I never lose sight of the importance of gratitude.

Gratitude Improves Relationships

Being grateful and appreciative not only improves your quality of life, but it also improves relationships at home, at work, at school, and in social environments. When you extend your sincere appreciation to your loved ones and friends for the little things they do that make you smile, they will naturally want to do more good deeds for you simply because you expressed your gratitude and appreciation to them. For instance, when you do an act of kindness for your husband or boyfriend without him expecting it, and he acknowledges your thoughtfulness by expressing his appreciation to you with a great big hug and kiss, it naturally inspires you to want to do more acts of kindness for him and vice versa. The expression of love and appreciation are the keystones to having thriving, happy, loving relationships.

By being thankful and expressing your appreciation to your loved ones, your actions bring about harmony and joy, which fills your heart with more love, inner peace, and contentment. We all want to be validated and appreciated for who we are. When you express your appreciation to those around you, they in turn want to help and uplift you. It’s incorporating the Golden Rule into your life, which states: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Focusing your attention on what you love and appreciate in your loved ones, will ignite them to do more to be grateful for.

It’s when you get caught up in being nitpicky by looking for the faults in your sweetheart, family, friends, or with your coworkers, that tension and disrespect is created in relationships. And with tension comes unhappiness and frustration that could have been avoided simply by looking for the good and appreciating them for their qualities and attributes. When you have discord with others, it limits your ability to live in an attitude of gratitude, which then prevents you from creating your life with passion and intention. Quite frankly, this is not a fun way to live! The energy of appreciation is what enables you to be a deliberate creator, so if you are all bogged down with contentious feelings toward another person, you are in essence blocking yourself from manifesting your heart’s desires.

Luckily, you can cut the ties of tension and discontentment by shifting your focus to the elements that you appreciate in each person you find fault with. When you shift from looking for what irritates you about the people you associate with to what brings gladness to your heart, your life will have more joy and will flow beautifully with ease. You will be more content and satisfied with life in general, and you will be more cheerful because you won’t be weighed down with limiting thoughts and emotions that are caused by judging others. You will be more understanding, empathetic, kinder, and loving too.

Gratitude Brings More Abundance

Just as being grateful for your family members and friends brings more peace and harmony into your life, it also directly affects your outside world by attracting more abundance to you. Appreciating the aspects of your daily life will amplify your gifts and blessings in wondrous ways. For instance, if you want a healthier body, then you first need to be grateful for your miraculous body as it is now. If you want more money, then be grateful for the income you receive now. If you want to be in love, then appreciate all that you are and love yourself unconditionally—and love others you associate with too.

Can you see how everything correlates with your attitude about gratitude and appreciation? As the saying goes, energy flows where your attention goes. So if you have gratitude for the blessings in your life you enjoy right now you will absolutely have more to be grateful for in the future. Having an attitude of gratitude really is powerful, and it enables you to create a happier, more abundant way of life. The more thankful you are, the higher your vibration and the sooner you will manifest your goals and dreams! It’s absolutely magical!

Keeping a Gratitude Journal

To help you be in an attitude of gratitude consistently, it’s helpful to keep a Gratitude Journal and write what you are grateful for daily. I’ve kept a Gratitude Journal for many years. A Gratitude Journal is a delightful life tool to help you shift your subconscious focus to appreciation on a continual basis, which removes limiting thoughts of lack and deprivation from your subconscious mind. I advise all my clients to keep a Gratitude Journal and to write down five things they were thankful for each day to assist them in achieving their goals and dreams. Each of my clients who follows through with Gratitude Journals is happier and more optimistic. They also sleep better, have more energy, feel more peaceful, and feel more self-assured as their minds create a new habit of focusing on the positive more than the negative.

I love keeping a Gratitude Journal. It uplifts my spirit through the day because subconsciously I’m looking for things to be grateful for by paying attention to that which brings me pleasure, knowing that I will be writing about it that night. It’s an empowering tool of creation as it opens the heart and mind to look for more goodness, love, joy, and happiness in the world. It has helped me acknowledge the hand of God in my life. It also helps to be able to look back and reread the things I’ve written when I’m down in order to reflect on the tender mercies and blessings I receive.

It’s also fun to look through the pages of my Gratitude Journal and read what I was grateful for on any particular day. It lifts my spirit and shifts my energy when I read my journal, which enables me to be in a vibration of creation, and ultimately, this vibration attracts more things to be grateful for. It always warms my heart to reflect on the experiences I was thankful for in the past. It brings a sense of love, peacefulness, and contentment, which inspires me to express my appreciation and love to God with feelings of overflowing tranquility and joy within.

To keep a Gratitude Journal, you don’t need anything fancy. You can use any type of notebook or journal you choose. It can be a small spiral notebook or a smaller standard journal. I like to have journals that resonate with the energy of what I’m thankful for, so I choose ones that have a spiritual energy. My most recent Gratitude Journal has a photo of a young lady with a heavenly Angel behind her, and my last one had a photo of Christ, which helps me reflect on what I am grateful for as I feel a sense of peacefulness when I write. You can use anything you desire—just choose something that resonates with you.

Then each night before you go to bed, write down at least five things you were grateful for that day. Write down anything that helped you have a better day. If at first you can’t think of anything, think about something you were grateful for or think about what “fell into place” that day. For instance, think about the kindness people extended to you, the check you were waiting to arrive, the stranger who gave you information you were in need of, or the job you were hoping to get. Write down whatever it was that made you smile that day. Write down what happened and how it was a blessing in your life.

Then, end each journal entry with gratitude to the Lord by writing down your appreciation for Him. I always end my gratitude list with, “Thank You, Lord!” Each and every time I do, I feel a shift in my energy as I feel more uplifted and a sense of love, peace, and happiness comes over me as I feel the love of God fill my soul.

Keeping a Gratitude Journal will aid you in transforming your life, as you will naturally be drawn to seeing the beautiful gifts and tender mercies more fully. Before long, you will have an attitude of gratitude and will have feelings of appreciation more often than not as this becomes your natural state of being—it’s a marvelous way to live!

Section Three

Desire For Change

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.

~ Albert Einstein

Chapter 12

Responsibility & Accountability

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

~ Thomas S. Monson

We all make mistakes and slip up now and again. There’s nothing wrong with making a mistake—in fact, it’s necessary for us to make errors in order to become learned and wiser in all that we do. Unfortunately, too many people place blame soon after they make a mistake by pointing a finger while shaking it as they declare, “This is all your fault!” as they try to avoid accountability for their own actions.

We’ve all made the fault of placing blame. It doesn’t make it right, but we’ve all done it. What does make the situation right is apologizing to that person and then owning up to our part in the unwanted experiences. Taking responsibility and being accountable for our actions is necessary for learning and growth as well as inner peace and happiness. Whether we want to own up to it or not, we attract what we radiate out into the world with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Our thoughts become things—always.

Do you have family members or friends who are constantly trying to ignore their part in the unsatisfying aspects of their lives, from relationships to their misfortunes? Or do you tell yourself that it’s “the other person’s fault” when something doesn’t go your way? When you place blame continually, you are actually taking on a “victim mentality,” which does not serve you at all. As stated on wikipedia.org, “A victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to think, speak, and act as if that were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence. It depends on habitual thought processes and attribution.”

Living in a victim mentality not only limits your ability to heal emotionally, but it sends out a powerful signal to the Universe, which will attract back to you experiences to validate your victim mentality beliefs. Each one of us is responsible for the role we played in the various situations and experiences we would have rather lived without. By stepping up to the plate and admitting your faults, it will actually empower you, and others will look up to you for doing so.

Taking responsibility for your actions and being accountable for your mistakes is essential to transforming your life and body. When you allow yourself to make mistakes and take to heart the teaching learned along the way, you are expanding your consciousness, which will shift your energy into a much higher energy frequency vibration, and that will magnetize more abundance toward you.

Have you taken responsibility for past mistakes, or do you find yourself placing blame on someone else as a way to escape from facing the truth? If so, now is the time to release those harmful feelings of fault-finding. Allow yourself to heal, forgive yourself for mistakes that you’ve made, and forgive others who have hurt you in one way or another. Without mistakes, how can you learn? How can you become wiser, more knowledgeable, more compassionate, more empathic, more forgiving, or more loving? It would be next to impossible, because without mistakes, you would become complacent, and the yearning for inner peace and happiness would disappear.

When you take complete accountability for your part in your life experiences, you allow your body, mind, and spirit to connect more fully with the life you live. This enables you to think more clearly and to make choices and decisions that support your heart’s desires. You will also be able to better understand that you are responsible for your choices—no one else is. Even when events are out of your control, you can decide to look at a problematic situation in an affirmative mindset, seeking the lessons to be learned.

Once a life lesson is learned, generally you will not experience it again—isn’t that a relief? You can make any event that is not in your favor a mountain of disaster. Or, instead, you can use it as an opportunity to learn by hiking to the breathtaking summit above while appreciating the lovely view along the way and looking for the lesson and taking responsibly for your actions that played a role in what you experienced.

How to Take Responsibility

Rhonda came to me seeking help to save her marriage. During her first coaching call, she expressed how miserable she was, and it was all because of her husband. Everything he did bothered her. He didn’t make enough money, he didn’t clean up after himself, he didn’t act a certain way, and he wasn’t as outgoing as her friends’ spouses. She expressed how she wanted to create a new life, and she entertained the thoughts of leaving her husband and moving out with her children. She was bound and determined to make her life “happy” by leaving a man who loved her unconditionally, who strived to do the best he could, and who was an exceptional father.

As I sensed her energy, I felt a very low, stifled energy, which was causing her great emotional pain and suffering. I could also feel her higher self as well; it was barely shining through the emotional energy fortress she had built around herself as a way to numb herself from the world. I asked her several questions, such as, “Do you really want to leave your husband?” After a long pause, she answered, “I don’t know…I just know it’s his fault I’m so unhappy.”

Rhonda was way off course. Her ill feelings and the blame she placed on her husband of twenty-five years were not his fault. Her feelings of dissatisfaction were a choice she had made. Her unkind, belittling behavior had created a canyon between them. As she continued coaching, she soon came to realize that she needed to take responsibility for her part in their unhappy marriage and be accountable for her actions. There are always two sides to every story. However, had she not become unsatisfied and in discord with his salary, how he dressed, and his personality, she wouldn’t have gone so low as to think about divorce—over nothing.

After she had been coaching for a time, she was able to see her part in her broken marriage. She came to recognize that her constant belittling and lack of faith in her husband’s abilities were creating him to mirror back to her what she believed. She soon let down the energy fortress she had created and softened her heart toward her husband. She began to look for the attributes that she was drawn to in the beginning of their marriage. She focused on his good traits and began to appreciate his loving side—the part of him that she fell in love with many years before. Little by little, his idiosyncrasies didn’t bother her as much, and they started getting along better.

As she continued coaching, she became a new woman—as though she started as a caterpillar and ended up as a beautiful butterfly. I’m proud to say that she and her husband are happily married and are thriving! They are both more loving, compassionate, and understanding of each other’s needs as they love and support each other in all that they do. They came to understand the value in taking responsibility and being accountable for their own actions and the part they played that had been devastating their marriage only months prior.

Taking responsibility is a must if you truly want to live an extremely happy, joyful life. If you do not take responsibility for your actions, then you will not be able to fully live from your higher self. Each of us on Earth has free agency. It’s a gift bestowed to us by God. It allows us to choose for ourselves in all that we do. Regardless of how hard you try to blame others for mishaps in your life, each life experience is a direct result of your perceptions and choices you have made.

Pay attention to your own words as you talk with family members and friends. Do you find that you take full responsibility for your actions, or are you hearing yourself placing blame? What you say about others is actually a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself deep down. Do you speak highly of others, or do you put them down? Recall that everything you come in contact with is a mirror of you. So what are you silently expressing to the world? What do the actions and choices you make say about you?

When you allow yourself to let go of judgment and criticism of yourself and others, it allows your true essence to shine through, and it feels great! Once you stop placing blame, you will be able to step into your innate power and create and manifest the life you dream about. If you are constantly trying to rationalize your life, that’s a dead giveaway that you are not taking responsibility for your actions and that you have some emotional work to do.

Choice and Accountability

While you are free to choose what decisions you make and what course of action you take, either good or bad, consequences follow as a natural result. There is a consequence to everything that you do, and sometimes it’s not what you were hoping for. When your chips are down, it’s easy to place blame and not feel accountable for the choices you have made.

Even though free agency allows you to do as you please, it’s easy to make poor choices that are not for our own highest good. When we make poor decisions, we regret our choices, and in retaliation for our mistakes, we place blame on others rather than being accountable for our own behavior. When we get caught up in complaining, it’s easy to overlook the opportunity to be accountable for our actions, especially when we’re overstressed and unhappy. Rather than giving in to the urge to place blame, decide today to be accountable for your own choices and be accountable for the actions you took.

When you choose to make decisions that are pleasing to God, life is more enjoyable because you are in alignment with His will and you don’t have to deal with the consequences of making poor choices. As you go about your day, try your best to make choices that serve your highest good. Always listen and follow your heart to help you make the right choices that will have positive consequences. And when you slip up and make a poor choice that does not serve you, don’t wallow in defeatism. Instead, pick yourself up and be accountable for your actions. If you said something that you regret to someone you care about, then apologize and make things right between the two of you before the consequence of pride and stubbornness take over and create a void between you.

Always remember that you are free to make choices that either bring you immense happiness or unbearable sorrow. The more you use your free agency as the gift that it is and choose to be honest, happy, kind, loyal, and virtuous, the less likely you will be to feel a desire to place blame toward someone else. Anything that bothers you about another person is what’s actually bothering you about yourself. So when you lose your cool and say something that you regret, don’t expound on why you said it as a way to rationalize the fact that you said it in the first place. Instead, stop and regroup and then kindly apologize to the person you took your frustrations out on to make peace with what you said. Anytime you criticize or place blame toward another, you are actually indicating the way you feel deep down about yourself—your actions have nothing to do with them. How you respond or react is your choice and yours alone. In reality, everything you say that is demoralizing or demeaning has nothing to do with the other person—it is all about you. And likewise for anyone who says anything unkind to you—they are only referring to how they feel about themselves.

There’s no excuse to constantly fight and argue with others. It’s a conscious choice to do so, and to think otherwise is to deny responsibly for your actions that caused extended suffering. When you argue with others, it was your choice to react by losing control of your emotions. Placing blame is denying accountability. Even if the other person was out of line and was rude, you are responsible for your reaction.

For instance, if your husband came home from work in a really bad mood after losing his largest account, you could either mirror back his negative, upset energy, or you could choose to be at peace and be loving to help lift his spirits. Taking frustrations out on loved ones is far too common. It’s easy to blame your husband, kids, coworkers, or even your dog for your poor behavior, but guess what? It only comes back to bite you in the behind. When you act out in ill behavior, you are only expressing your own insecurities. How you feel and how you act is always your choice—made by you alone.

Whatever you do when you’re at home, at work, at school, or even just running errands, only you are responsible for the choices you make. Once again, like always attracts like. If those around you aren’t acting kindly toward you, then let that be a reminder to take note of how you feel and how you are acting. Then, make it a point to change your attitude by shifting your energy and thoughts from frustration or anger to peace and understanding. Look for the good in others and try to see the best in all that you do by being accountable for your own actions. You will be surprised just how quickly the mood in the room will change just by being accountable to yourself.

If we all took responsibly and became accountable for our own actions, there would be more love, peace, and acceptance in the world. Make it a conscious decision to be the difference you want to see in the world by being accountable for you.

Look for the Silver Lining

Once you’ve taken responsibility for your actions and are accountable for your past, look for the silver lining in unwanted experiences to help you let go. What mistakes have you made that you are not willing to let go of yet? Think back to a time you reflect upon often with judgment and regret. When you think about the experience, do you find yourself thinking about all the yucky aspects of the memory? If so, rather than focusing on the negative or trying to force yourself not to think about the memory, take a moment to look for the silver lining that’s woven delicately through the tapestry of that experience. Look for the beautiful life lessons that were meant just for you and that were necessary for your expansion and growth. The life experiences, often referred to as trials, are intended for us to learn from. Life often teaches us in ways that are only pertinent to each of us individually.

One of my dear clients came to me for help with her intense sugar cravings; she was a serious sugar-o-holic. She had candy stashed in her purse, her car, her drawers at work, and even in her bedroom closet. As we discussed her various life experiences, she expressed how much she regretted one aspect of her life. Although she was a highly successful woman and looked as if she were always happy, deep down she was struggling emotionally to let go of an experience in her past that plagued her mind each day.

In the beginning of her monthly coaching, as we did in her weekly coaching calls, she would express her desire to release her limiting feelings about the past. As I taught her to look for the silver lining in her experience, I asked her to tell me what she learned about herself, and she said, “I learned that I’m a powerful woman who is filled with compassion and empathy for others. I learned that the person who hurt me was only expressing his pain and suffering within. I learned that I can forgive and let go, even when I thought it was impossible. And I learned that I am triumphant and that I’m proud to be me.”

I was so proud of her! She got it! She was able to see the silver lining, even though her experience had been horrible and caused her much sorrow and grief. Once she was able to see that it was okay to let the past experience go and to see how magnificent she really was, she was able to let go of the painful memories of that unfortunate experience. She was able to truly look for the good in herself that had come about because she had overcome the overpowering emotions that caused her to crave sugar all of the time. By the way, once she cleared the painful memories of her past, she began to realize that she no longer craved sugar—or even junk food, for that matter. She was amazed! Her life began to transform in wonderful ways because she was willing to let go and to look for the silver lining in her life experiences.

If you fail to see the silver lining in your life experiences or the trials that caused you emotional upset and pain, you are the one keeping yourself stuck. Your continual replaying of the memories that caused you pain causes life to attract more reasons to continue thinking, “Yep, life really is the pits!” Life is brilliant—it knows precisely what we need to learn to become the masterpiece we visualize in our mind’s eye.

Consider a child who is learning to ride a bike. At first she will try her best to balance herself as she begins to move forward and strives to pedal away. She may have her balance at first, but because she is unfamiliar with bike riding, she might quickly lose her balance and fall. She has two choices: either wipe herself off and get back on her bike or give up, never to learn how fun it is to ride freely in the wind. It is no different for us as adults. Being accountable for the decisions you make will free yourself from doubt and fear to allow you to become the magnificent woman that you are destined to be.

Taking Responsibility Exercise

To better understand how to be accountable and take responsibility for your actions, do the following exercise.

Make two columns on a clean sheet of paper. Write down “Responsibility/Blame” on the header of one column and “Accountability/Forgiveness” on the other column header.

Write down the memories that you often place blame for.

Write down how you felt that caused you to want to place blame.

Then write why you think you deflect accountability under each memory.

Then on the second column write down how you are accountable for your actions.

Then write “I forgive” and visualize yourself owning up to your part in the event that caused you to place blame. Finally, embrace the memory with thankfulness for the beautiful life lessons learned.

Chapter 13

The Mirror Effect

Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.

~ William Makepeace Thackeray The world around you is a reflection of your thoughts and feelings. It may seem crazy to think about, but it’s true. It’s called the Mirror Effect. Have you ever had a complete stranger compliment you when you were having a great day? Have you noticed that when you are in a good mood, everyone else seems to be too? That’s because the world around you, in all its rays of color, is expressing back what you radiate with your energy.

Your life experiences are a direct reflection of your belief system. How people treat you is a mirror of the vibes you are giving off. Life is always mirroring back to you what you believe, feel, and say. It may seem odd at first to comprehend, but think about the last few hours of your day or even the events that took place this week in your life. Do you notice that most everyone you came into contact with seemed to mirror your mood in one way or another? Even your family members mirror back to you how you feel. When you come home happy and energized at the end of the day, everyone around you responds accordingly and is happy too, even if they weren’t in a particularly good mood before you came home.

How we perceive the world around us is reflected back to us in all aspects of our lives. To shift the paradigm of what you experience day in and day out, you need to begin by shifting your thoughts and feelings within. If you are constantly annoyed at the people around you, then know that you are giving off static vibrations that those people around you are mirroring back to you. As Steven R. Covey clarified, “To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.” How you see the world and how you interpret your life is an expression of your beliefs and feelings within.

One of my dear clients was struggling with her new job. She had recently begun a new position in corporate America that was causing her stress and anxiety. Upon accepting her new job, her fellow coworkers were quick to “warn” her about her awful and unkind boss. She heard several stories about how he was an extremely difficult individual to work with and how much everyone disliked him.

Before long, she had established in her mind that sure enough, they were all correct. He was horrible to work with, he was disrespectful, and he didn’t seem to care if people liked him or not. She described her unpleasant experiences with him and noticed that he seemed to have a grudge on his shoulders and took it out on everyone around him. Her coworkers constantly spoke cruelly about their boss, and my client said that the tension was so thick “it could be cut by a knife.” All the negative energy made for a toxic working environment, which brought about intense tension between my client and her boss.

The negativity in her workplace left her drained of energy both physically and emotionally; all she wanted to do was veg on her couch and eat junk food when she got home after work. She struggled with being motivated to eat clean, and she had no energy left to work out as she wanted to. She found herself wanting a new job before long, and she felt emotionally vulnerable. She was always fatigued and dreaded going to work each day. She didn’t like her work environment and was stifled by the negative energy she felt, finding plenty of reasons to complain as the world reflected her feelings back to her. She was exhausted from it all.

I could sense her energy clearly as she shared her feelings with me over the phone during her coaching calls. It was evident that she had allowed her coworkers’ negative feelings and beliefs about how awful their boss was to manipulate her feelings toward him before she had a chance to think twice. As a result, she was always on guard around him, and she tried to avoid him as much as possible. And in response to her behavior, he validated to her what everyone had said about him, and he was also harsh with her. As I listened to her express her frustrations, I validated her feelings, and then I introduced a new way of looking at him that would help her shift her perspective. If she were able to look at him differently, it would directly impact her relationship with him and how he reflected his energy toward her.

I articulated to her what I sensed in his energy and how he was merely expressing to the world around him subconsciously how he felt within. He was sad, lonely, and afraid. I helped her understand that his unpleasant ways were merely an expression of his unhappy life, which brought others into his life to validate his feelings as they mirrored back to him what he felt. As we discussed her evolving perception of him, I asked her to look at herself from a distance as though she were a third person and to look at him from afar and then to describe to me what she saw. I had her look at him as though she didn’t know him and to tell me what she saw and felt.

At first she told me what she “saw” in his actions, but that wasn’t what I was asking for her to see. I then asked her to look at him with her third eye and with an open heart. I asked again, “What do you see?” This time she looked beyond his cruel ways and looked into his soul. She said that she saw (in her mind’s eye) a sad and lonely man who was unsatisfied with his life. She saw a hurt inner child who was lashing out at the world as a grown man trying to cope with the pain he’d carried with him from years gone by.

After she described her new perspective of him, I explained how to look at him in a new light. I explained how he was craving love, kindness, and respect, and I helped her understand why he was mean and unkind. We discussed several scenarios. I had her visualize a different relationship with him at work. I explained the Mirror Effect to her, and told her about how everything we give comes back to us time and time again. It’s karma at its finest! Her paradigm shifted instantly. She soaked the new information up like a sponge and loved the new energy she felt as she shifted to a higher energy.

Before hanging up she was lighthearted and happy, and she actually looked forward to going to work the next day to see just how much things would change as she implemented what she had learned. She was hopeful that she would be able to create a better association with her boss. I also helped her look at her employment as a gift from above to shift the energy she had about her job. Soon she realized how blessed she was to have a well-paying job that made it possible to buy a house, pay her bills, and have extra money to play with her family and friends.

The following week, during her coaching call, I followed up with our previous conversation and asked her how her week went at work. She exclaimed with excitement, “It was awesome! I actually got along well with my boss this week, and he was so much nicer to me. He actually smiles at me now!” I congratulated her with joy in my heart for her accomplishments and helped her to understand that his energy reflected back her understanding heart and concern. From that time forth, she got along better with her associates and came to appreciate her job.

Because she shifted her perspective on how she looked at and felt about her job and her boss, she was able to attract back to herself the respect and kindness she desired. Just by shifting her feelings toward her boss, she was able to create that which she desired. Her workplace was still busy and stressful, but she was no longer filled with toxic, low, negative energy, and that enabled her to enjoy her time at work and relax and unwind serenely when she went home at night.

She changed her experiences at work without having to quit simply by changing her perception, which changed her thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Her newfound feelings were mirrored back to her through her life experiences at work. Not only did she have a better rapport with her boss, but she also had more energy at the end of the day and didn’t have the cravings to eat “comfort” foods either. She soon found that her new way of looking for the best in others was a reflection of how she came to honor and respect herself. She realized that the world around her reflected back her beliefs and feelings in all aspects of her life. She began living a happier, more vibrant life purely by shifting her perception.

Life is a Gigantic Mirror

All that we do in life is mirrored back to us. That’s why being positive and looking for the good is so essential to living a happy, fulfilling, abundant way of life. Had my client continued complaining and looking at all the negative things at work, she would surely have found all the more reason to grumble as her life experiences continued to manifest her negative feelings.

But because she chose to think positively by looking for the good in her boss and her job, she discovered that her boss really wasn’t what he first appeared to be and that she actually began to enjoy her new job. She learned to have empathy for her boss, and she shifted into owning her power once again. She felt the world reflect back to her in powerful, positive ways that strengthened her conviction to think on purpose and with clarity rather than allow her mind to wander endlessly in the depths of frustration and discouragement.

You can also shift your energy and create new life experiences by changing your perspective from having low, stressful thoughts and feelings to powerful, positive thoughts and feelings. When you go about your day in a “fog” without thinking deliberately, you will find that life seems to toss you around like a leaf in the wind and blowing you every which way because that’s the energy within you—confused, overwhelmed, and stressed. As a result, you are unintentionally creating and manifesting more reasons to feel overwhelmed, confused, and stressed.

Our behavior is based off of our belief systems, which were created by our habitual thoughts. If you want to know what you believe, simply look at your life. How do people treat you? Are you earning your desired income? Are you content with your job, and do you get along well with others at work? Are you pleased with what you’ve manifested so far? If not, then you can take note of what you don’t like and change your perceptions and thought processes to reflect that which you want to manifest.

Try this for fun. For the rest of the day, decide to be happy and go out of your way to help others and to compliment them. Then take a mental note of how they mirror back your “life is good” attitude. You may be surprised how total strangers are extra kind to you or how your husband does something romantic out of the blue. It really is a lot of fun to notice everyone around you reflecting back the high-energy vibration you are giving off. And at the end of the day, you really will feel happier as you reflect on the joys you experienced simply by choosing to be cheerful.

Even your inanimate world is an exact reflection of you. If you don’t like what is reflecting back at you in your reality now, you’re in luck. All you have to do is change your thoughts and emotions—think and feel happy, content, and thankful. By changing your attitude to gratitude, you will soon find how much more you have to be happy and grateful for—it really is that simple.

When you come to realize and recognize the Mirror Effect in your life, you may be shocked at just how precise it is. Life is a gift to appreciate full-heartedly! To shift away from experiences that don’t please you, begin by believing in yourself and loving yourself unconditionally, just as you currently are, and you will find that life, indeed, loves you too. It’s exhilarating to see life mirror back your new beliefs, and it’s highly rewarding to experience life in ways that support your heart’s desires and dreams as synchronicity plays an active role.

The Mirror Effect is Influential

Being aware of the Mirror Effect is influential in shifting your paradigm to match your heart’s desire. The Mirror Effect encourages you to become much more mindful of your thoughts and actions throughout the day. The more you focus your attention on what you desire, the more you will see what you want reflecting back at you. And if something in your life isn’t as you want it to be, then change your perception of it.

For instance, if you are annoyed at a friend, rather than noticing what it is that bothers you, look for her positive qualities. Thank her when she does something kind and help her when she needs a hand. Doing so will shift your perspective of her, and you will see her in a new light. See in your mind’s eye the end result you desire. The more you focus on what you want, the more you will see what you want mirroring back at you. This applies to all areas of your life. Remember, what you think about, you bring about. So think about what makes you smile.

Another powerful way to attract your desires back through the mirror effect is to be content and at peace with your life as it is right now. Appreciation is a high-energy vibration that serves your highest good in all things. Being thankful for the gifts in your life will empower you to create your life on purpose, including your body.

Your body also mirrors back to you your habitual thoughts and feelings. If you want to reduce your weight, for instance, you can’t think to yourself, “I’m so fat!” and expect to lose weight. Instead think, “I am thinner. My body is a fat-burning machine!” Having limiting thoughts will only stress you out, causing your body to become weak and fatigued. Negative energy brings about weight gain as the body creates more fat stores and holds onto fat as a form of protection from the “flight or flight” response that pessimism brings. Can you see how the Mirror Effect even affects your body? The more conscious you are about your frequent thoughts, the more power you will have to create the life and body of your dreams.

The Mirror Effect Game

This game is a mind exercise that you can do throughout the day to help you to pay better attention to what the world is reflecting back to you. You’ll need a small notebook and a pen along with an open mind.

At the beginning of the day, wake up with gratitude. Upon rising, reach both arms high above you toward heaven, look up, and exclaim, “Today is going to be the best day ever!” Then wrap your arms around yourself and say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Take a moment to picture yourself accomplishing your to-do list happily and see your day as you wish it to be.

Next, as you go about your day with your notebook and pen close at hand, write down experiences that match your feelings. For example, if you go shopping with a smile on your face and someone lets you go in front of them in line, write that experience down. That’s a beautiful expression of the Mirror Effect; because you were happy, a complete stranger was extra kind to you and helped you get ahead in line.

Then, at the end of the day, read back through your Mirror Effect experiences and give thanks for anything you learned. The more clearly you see life’s reflection, the more you will innately become that which you wish to be.

The Mirror Effect is awe-inspiring. It can teach us a lot about ourselves, pointing out the good and the areas we need to improve upon. Have fun when doing the Mirror Effect game. You can also do it without writing down your experiences as you become more accustomed to noticing how the world reflects your feelings back to you. Before long, you will find that you will think in an entirely new light that uplifts you to assist you in manifesting your dreams.

Chapter 14

The Power of the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction attracts to you everything you need, according to the nature of your thoughts. Your environment and financial condition are the perfect reflection of your habitual thinking.

~ Dr. Joseph Murphy Did you know that you can be a deliberate creator and manifest that which you desire on purpose? Whether you realize it or not, you have the innate power and ability within you—at this very moment in time—to change any aspect of your life that you wish, from having loving relationships to having more prosperity! It’s true—you really do have the power of creation within you, and it can be accessed simply by tapping into the Law of Attraction by using the power of your mind—your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. All of which is possible because you were created in the image and likeness of God; therefore, you have His light and energy within you. And you were created with a mind that possesses immeasurable creative powers and abilities.

There are several laws that govern the Universe that God created perfectly for us to flourish copiously. One of these laws is the Law of Attraction. This law enables you to attract back to you whatever you focus your attention upon—it’s that simple. The Law of Attraction states “energy attracts like energy.” It is one of the Universal laws that God created for us to create and manifest intentionally—not by default but by design, by the power of our minds. It is how we are able to create our lives consciously as we yearn to live. The purpose of this law is to orchestrate vibrational frequency of thought into formation and then to fruition. This means that you will attract whatever your dominate point of attraction is.

As I pointed out before, what you think about you bring about by attracting people, circumstances, and events into your life that are drawn to you by your matching energy frequencies. The Law of Attraction is very much tied to the Law of Cause and Effect, which states that you are, in fact, an active part of all that is. It is this law that establishes you as a spiritual being to create your life as you intend it to be. Which means you can have as much money as you believe you can have, you can have all the love that you believe you deserve, and you can create harmony within and have better health that you believe you can. Your belief system is sending out powerful vibrations attracting like energy to you. It’s why you have like-minded friends and like the same things as those around you—because your energy frequencies match.

The foundation of the Law of Attraction is that we create our own reality by the vibrations or “vibes” we give off, which have various frequencies. The vibrational frequencies you radiate go out into the Universe and attract back to you experiences that match the energy frequency of your vibration. For instance, if you constantly worry about not having enough money, then you will, without a doubt, attract reasons why you never have enough money. Likewise, if you are free from having limiting thoughts about money and believe that money flows to you easily, then you will indeed always have enough money for your needs and even more to share. You can validate this right now. Take a moment to think about your financial situation and how you feel about money. Can you see how it correlates with your beliefs about money? Because of the Law of Attraction, how you feel about money and how money comes to you is always a match.

The Universe is filled with unorganized energy and matter, which enables creation to come together from the energy of thought. The Universe supports whatever you imagine you can create through your inner belief system and intentions. While many of us continue to make excuses about why things aren’t working out in our lives, many of us know and are becoming more powerful with knowledge and wisdom about how to utilize the power of the Law of Attraction to attain great success and accomplishments. It’s because the Law of Attraction always reciprocates that which we offer in energy of thought, feeling, and emotion.

You are constantly in an active state of creation, whether you fully understand the concept of the Law of Attraction or not. This law is continuously in effect, similar to the Law of Gravity. If you drop a pen from your hand, it will fall to ground, regardless of how hard you try to believe that it won’t. Because of the Law of Gravity, it will drop. The Law of Attraction is identical; you cannot will it to change or stop because it is always in effect. This law is indifferent to what is good or not good for you; it simply attracts back to you that which you think about most—the most dominate thought of vibration that radiates from you.

This means that what you feel and have strong emotions about will always win as the dominate vibration you give off. If you told me that you wanted to buy a new house and had the money to buy it but that you were afraid of changing your environment, then your desires to move would be short lived. Because your dominate vibration is that of fear of moving, you would end up changing your mind and staying in your home that you don’t like. You must believe you can buy a new home and believe that you will be happy in your new environment to enable your old thought patterns of fear of change to be replaced with new thoughts such as “I’m excited about my new adventure of buying a new home.” This is how your mind works; your conscious mind can think one thing, but if your beliefs or paradigms aren’t congruent with your desire, then your limiting thoughts will keep you from attracting it to you.

To alter your life, all you have to do is be consciously aware of how to do it. We all have infinite wisdom and knowledge within because we’re all spiritual beings. Through the power of the Law of the Attraction you can become all that you desire by raising your awareness of it. All knowledge is omnipresent, and all power is omnipresent, which means you have all that is needed to truly create that which you want to be, do, or have. All you have to do is to use the faculties of your mind to dream about what you want and then become emotionally involved by becoming excited and exhilarated about your dream. You have to want it so badly that you can feel it, touch it, smell it, hear it, and taste the deliciousness of it. Then your job is to trust and believe and allow God to orchestrate it for you—you don’t have to know how, all you have to know is that you will attain that which you set your heart and mind to and then the Law of Attraction will go into full swing bringing people, circumstances, and events to you to manifest your dreams. Your job is to then take inspired action and stay laser-focused on the end result until it is achieved.

Imagine that you wanted to lose ten pounds. You may be diligent about exercising at least three days a week, and you may be trying to eat healthy, but your weight won’t budge. That is an indicator that your “fat” thoughts and beliefs are more powerful in frequency than your “thin” thoughts and beliefs. To enable your body to let go of the weight sooner, your thoughts need to shift from fat thoughts to thin thoughts. You need to shift from “I need to lose weight” to “I AM _____pounds lighter,” which radiates a higher, more powerful energy and attracts back to you ways to be more active and to crave healthier foods as your body begins to manifest that which you think and believe. You have to shift your mindset in any area you want to change before your outside world can change—including losing weight. Your body always goes where the mind takes it. Every aspect of ourselves is first created in our minds before it is made factual.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life

Our habitual thoughts create beliefs in our subconscious minds that become things in our lives. That’s why it is imperative to have a positive mental attitude and belief in you. When you think positively, you will create positive beliefs. Recall that a belief is just a thought you have over and over again, often without even realizing it. As you come to cultivate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you will soon believe that everything works out for your highest good. Acclaimed author Louise Hay explains, “Your thoughts and beliefs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this moment. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month and the next year.” Simply put, what you think about you bring about.

When I first learned about the Law of Attraction, I was astonished at how simplistic yet powerful it was. When I grasped the concept change your thoughts to change your life, I became hopeful about having a brighter, more abundant future, and my beliefs about being able to create my life intentionally began to shift. It was as if a light bulb turned on within my mind, shedding light on what I knew to be true. Prior to learning about the Law of Attraction, I was constantly concerned about money. My husband made a good income, but it seemed that we often had difficulties living within our means, let alone building a plush savings account. I focused my attention on what we didn’t have more than I was grateful for what we had been blessed with. I would look at others who were highly successful, and I would think haphazardly to myself, “I wish we had more money...” Little did I know that my thoughts were attracting the reasons why we needed more money.

It wasn’t until I understood the power of thought and how to implement the Law of Attraction into my life that our income began to increase substantially. As I researched the Law of Attraction I became invigorated! I shared the information I learned with my sweet husband. He too was in awe about how powerful the mind was and how the law worked, and he soon jumped on the thinking-with-intention bandwagon with me. Together we began to shift our way of thinking from thoughts of lack and doubt to those of abundance and faith. We had a ball deliberately creating and manifesting our dreams together; incidentally, it also strengthened our marriage, as we were on the same path and had the same goals and celebrated the same accomplishments. It truly transformed our lives in immeasurable ways.

I didn’t realize prior to learning about the power of thought and the Law of Attraction that throughout the beginning of our marriage I had been stuck in having a poverty mindset. It was like a wake-up call when I came to recognize that my limiting beliefs were not serving me or my family. As I shifted my thoughts from having a poverty mindset to a prosperity mindset, our world began to transform. I began by saying positive affirmations daily with excitement and emotion. I would visualize exactly how much I wanted to be in our savings account when I looked at our bank statements. I even whited out the balance of one of our bank statements and wrote down the six figures I wanted to have. I also visualized my life and imagine how I wanted it to be in great detail. I visualized us in a new home; I visualized money flowing to us easily; I visualized my family going on vacation together, and I visualized having my dream horse in my backyard. I also spoke positively as though I already had everything I desired, and I taught my family to do the same. We had so much fun dreaming and planning our future together as a family. It was such fun to get our creative juices flowing as we shared our hopes and dreams with conviction, belief, and thanksgiving.

It wasn’t long after that shift that our lives began to emerge in astonishing ways. My husband got a higher-paying job, and we sold our home and built a larger home on a larger lot. At the same time, my dear friend and I started a custom home construction company called Garden Gate Homes, LLC, which quickly became highly successful. I also started my Lifestyle Fitness Coaching career, which also became a great success, and I built a barn in my backyard and bought the horse of my dreams: Apollo, a magnificent Friesian stallion. All of which took place in my life within a few short years of learning about the power of the Law of Attraction. It was truly a miraculous experience! And to top it all off, we were able to build our savings account from a measly few thousand dollars to a six-figure nest egg! It was as if a genie came out of a bottle and granted all my wishes and more!

You Can Change Your Life

You too can change your life by incorporating the Law of Attraction and putting it into action in your life—by simply changing your thoughts. But before you can change your thoughts you have to know what you want to change. Do you know what you want to change in your life? Do your thoughts and beliefs support what you want? Sometimes it isn’t until you take the time to notice what it is you think about most that you come to realize that your thought patterns do not match what you really want. When you come to acknowledge how you think, you will be able to change the way you think. That’s why it’s so imperative to think about what you do want rather than what you don’t want. It doesn’t serve you at all to focus on what’s missing in your life—that only gives more energy to what you don’t want. You need to create new habits of thought by thinking about what it is you DO want and then laser focus on the having of it until you achieve it.

I continually remind my clients that thoughts become feelings, feelings become beliefs, and beliefs become your life experiences. Everything you think about affects your life, instantly manifesting as you go about your day. If you find that you constantly worry, then you will continue to have things show up in your life to worry about. When you stress about how difficult life is and have a deprivation mindset, you will find that you’re constantly running around in your car with the fuel gauge hovering on the “empty” mark, only to end up running out of gas and then having to call a family member to bring a gas can to fill the car up. Some may whimsically think, “Dang! I ran out of gas again!” when what is really happening is that life is validating their lack mentality. If you don’t want to worry any more, then change your thoughts from what’s missing to gratitude for what you do have. Doing so will shift your vibration higher, which will attract more to be grateful for.

To change your old, limiting thought patterns, decide now to shift undesirable thoughts to constructive thoughts when they pop into your head. When a limiting thought comes to mind, such as, “I can’t,” replace it with “I CAN!” The more you believe in your God-given gifts and abilities, the sooner you will be able to change the way you think about yourself and will be able to tap into your infinite ability to create your life deliberately. I know what you are thinking, “It’s easier said than done” and you are right; however, with daily practice of paying attention to your thoughts, you can replace your old, limiting thought patterns with new, creative thought patterns to create new beliefs and paradigms in your subconscious to enable you to achieve what you set out to accomplish. Doing so will empower you to create and manifest your goals and dreams clearly as you put the Law of Attraction into action—deliberately!

Below are three steps that hold the keys to unlocking your God-given potential by utilizing the Law of Attraction to create and manifest that which you desire in all areas of your life. These steps are powerful! But they’re only powerful if you internalize them on an emotional level; tap into your higher self and really feel the words you are about to read. Otherwise they’re just a bunch of words with little to no meaning, as if you were reading a grocery list.

Always remember that your mind is your connection to your spirit and God and that it is your supreme tool, given to you by God to intentionally create and manifest your dreams. As you incorporate shifting your beliefs and living from your higher self, do your best to think positively. Use the power of your mind to your advantage to create a joyful way of life filled with immense love, peace, health, happiness, and abundance.

The Three Steps to Manifesting

Step One is to ASK. To ask, you must form a clear intention describing what you want, and then state that intention with love and thankfulness to God. Everything is of God, and therefore, what you ask for comes from Him and is organized by the Law of Attraction. If you don’t know what it is that you really want, then take time to ponder what it is your heart truly desires. You must know what you want in great detail in order to manifest it as you wish. You can’t be vague. It’s just like going to a restaurant. If you don’t ask for exactly what it is you want to eat, then you will be highly unsatisfied when they bring you a hot dog instead of grilled salmon. You need to be happy when you ask and be very specific. Recall that the Law of Attraction attracts what you are radiating back to you. The happier you are, the higher your vibration. Just as the Lord teaches us time and time again in the scriptures, “Ask, and it shall be given unto you.”[4] It is up to you to ask for that which you desire.

Step Two is to BELIEVE. You must truly believe that you can achieve what you ask for by believing that you are a co-creator with God and that through Him all things are possible. Believe in the deity that flows through you, enabling you to have powers to create and manifest intentionally. Believe in your ability to manifest your goals and dreams as you walk hand in hand with God. Your belief orchestrates the Universe to attract what you desire to you. It’s such an awesome feeling to truly trust in the energy of believing. Once you sincerely believe that you can and will manifest your dreams, then they will surely be.

Step Three is to RECEIVE. Receiving is the reward for asking for something and believing it will be delivered to you. You cannot manifest your intention if you do not allow yourself to receive that which you ask for. You must have a humble heart and quiet mind to receive the divine inspiration that comes to you in order to take the action necessary to receive. If you are too busy trying to figure out how it’s all going to come together, then you may miss the still, small voice that is trying to communicate with you, letting you know which path to follow and which steps to take to bring your dreams to fruition. You must be willing to take inspired action by following the promptings you receive with faith, believing that God is driving your way in order to enable you to receive. As found in Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” God wants you to prosper and thrive in all areas of your life, but it’s up to you to cultivate the heavenly gifts you have been given. Utilizing your creative powers is your Divine Birthright. Allow the Law of Attraction to play an intricate role in your life as you live with faith and intention, knowing that all things are possible if you but believe.

Chapter 15

The Power of Positive Thinking

If your thoughts are thoughts that draw low-frequency energy current to you, your physical and emotional attitudes will deteriorate, and emotional or physical disease will follow, whereas thoughts that draw high-frequency energy current to you create physical and emotional health.

~ Gsary Zukav

One day while I was talking to one of my dearest friends, Nancy, on the phone, she said with a chuckle, “Carol, you are always upbeat! I don’t know how you do it. I’ve never known you to not be happy!” She was right for the most part. I am constantly happy, but not just by chance—I am because I choose to be! I understand the power of positive thinking and choose to implement a positive mindset in my life. I know the joy and blessings that come when I am positive and optimistic. I know what it feels like to be less than positive and the byproduct of being so.

Years ago I learned how my thoughts directly influence my life. I came to understand and appreciate the power of positive thinking and the impact it has in my life. But before I came to learn about the power of my mind, I wasn’t all that positive, and I would find myself complaining a lot about how difficult life was and how much I disliked being sick all the time. Even though I’m thriving now, I wasn’t always this way; I know all too well the feelings of sadness and despair. I used to struggle constantly with my health, and I worried way too much, which directly affected my health and my happiness. But thankfully, that all changed when I learned how to tap into the power of my mind to create and manifest the life and body of my dreams.

Tap into the Infinite Power of Your Mind

Your mind has an infinite power of creation that is so powerful that it’s unfathomable; scientists can’t even begin to calculate what our minds are capable of. It is the infinite possibilities of our minds that allow us as a society to continue to break world records, send rockets to other planets, and create cures for illnesses and diseases. Most of the power lies within your subconscious mind. It’s where all beliefs are held, which either enables us to reach for the stars or tells us to sit back and be unwilling out of self-doubt to strive to become something more. It’s what you think that comes forth in your future life experiences.

Did you know that you can’t do anything without a perceived thought first? Everything you do begins with a thought. You can’t even read this book without thinking about picking it up and reading it before you began. You first visualized yourself picking it up to read it in your mind’s eye before you walked into your bedroom to get it. Nor can you drive to the grocery store without visualizing the grocery store prior to leaving your home. And you can’t be truly happy without seeing yourself happy by having positive, uplifting thoughts that bring happiness to your heart.

All thoughts, good or bad, happy or sad, are attracted back to us in the form of like energy. The power of thought energy flows from each of us and reaches those people, circumstances, and events that are needed to manifest our thoughts into our reality in one form or another. Have you ever thought of someone who you haven’t seen in ages, and then lo and behold, you run into that person while out running errands? You may have thought it was just a fluke, but in actuality it wasn’t an accident at all. Your energy drew that person to you. Whether you know it or not, you attract everything into your life with your dominant thoughts and beliefs, which radiate out into the Universe on powerful energy frequencies, telling the Universe what it is you would like to experience.

You too can tap into the infinite power of your mind by thinking with intent and letting go of doubt and fears. You can alter any facet of your life you wish to by simply changing your beliefs about what you can achieve by shifting your thought patterns from self-doubt to self-belief. By focusing and thinking about what it is you want and by being grateful for what you already have, it will open your heart and mind to receiving that which you desire.

As Oprah Winfrey wisely said, “The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now.” That is so true! You can’t change your life for the better if you are stuck complaining about what’s missing in your life. Being positive and working toward attaining your dreams is much like driving a car. You have to look forward and know where you are going to get to your desired destination. If you are too busy looking down or looking backwards, then you will never be able to arrive at your destination. To move forward in the direction of your desires, you must focus on the end result and look forward to a bright and joyous future.

So if you fall into a “poor me” scenario, then decide now to stop it! Stop beating the “poor me” drum and start focusing on being positive and having faith in your ability to succeed. Being positive does more than just uplift your mood—it attracts more of what you want into your life. Not only does it attract more goodness and blessings in your life but it also affects your health and well-being too. Just as positive thinking has a direct impact on the body, so does negative thinking. Having a toxic mental attitude weakens the immune system, causes emotional turmoil, ruins relationships, and even causes weight gain. The list can go on…and on …

Eva Ritvo, MD, vice chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine in Florida, and co-author of The Beauty Prescription, says that positive thinking improves your mental health and reduces stress. Negative thinking increases stress, which increases inflammation in the body. Inflammation is a huge culprit in contributing to illness and disease. As Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, states, “Positive thinking reduces inflammation, which is a byproduct of stress. It is important to reduce inflammation because it stands at the root cause of disease and plays havoc with your thinking.”

Having a positive mental attitude is the first step toward improving your health and well-being. Having thoughts and feelings of love, gratitude, and appreciation will create a positive atmosphere for your body to thrive. Being positive will shift your energy frequencies higher, which will attract back to you more to be thankful for at all levels of life. By having a positive mental attitude and letting go of negative self-talk, your life will dramatically improve in all aspects.

Positive Thoughts Bring About Positive Results

Your thoughts bring about positive or negative results through the frequencies you give off. If you want to have more positive people and circumstances in your life, then you need to think more positively. You can’t expect to have something wonderful happen if you are focused on doubt, deprivation, or despair. Just as if you were to go to a megaplex movie theater and buy tickets to see a particular movie but then walk into an entirely different movie theater; it wouldn’t matter how much you wanted to see the other movie, as long as you stayed in the wrong theater, you would be stuck seeing a movie that you didn’t want to see.

That’s how the power of your mind works; it continues to present what your beliefs are and what your point of attraction is focused on. You can say all day long that you want a better way of life, but if you are stuck in negativity, allow your mind to run wild and repeat undesirable outcomes over and over again, and focus your energy on all the things that aren’t going your way, then you will continue to have plenty of reasons why your life is so “unfair.” Your circumstances can’t change until you’re willing to leave the negativity and self-doubt behind and begin to reprogram your mind through your habitual focus on what you want.

Your thoughts create things because you are a spiritual beings made of pure energy and light. Energy attracts like energy—just like a magnet—in all things. For instance, if you opened your mailbox each day expecting to see a bunch of bills, then the Law of Attraction would “validate or confirm” that which you believe, and consequently you would indeed open your mailbox and see a bunch of bills. As opposed to someone who expects to receive more checks in the mail—they will be pleasantly surprised to receive unexpected checks when they open their mailbox or will feel inspired to create various forms of revenue to make more money. This thought is echoed by Thomas Troward, who claimed that thought precedes physical form by saying, “The action of mind plants that nucleus which, if allowed to grow undisturbed, will eventually attract to itself all the conditions necessary for its manifestation in outward visible form.” (Judge Thomas Troward, “The Edinburgh Lectures on Mental Science,” 1904.)[5]

If you are continuously reflecting on what happened to you ten plus years ago that made you miserable, then you will continue to attract experiences that leave you frustrated, hurt, and stressed, just like a magnet. Your low vibration because of what happened to you ten years ago is keeping you in a paradigm in your mind that keeps you stuck in your past. And quite honestly, that’s a horrible way to live. Having negative thoughts is harmful to your physical and mental well-being. That’s why you feel yucky when you are in a negative mood. To change your mood, all you have to do is stop your mind from running amuck by allowing fleeting negative thoughts to pass and then refocusing your mind on thoughts that make you feel good. When you feel out of sorts, it’s your body telling you to change your thoughts; it’s like a red warning light going off within you. Shifting your thoughts each time you feel out of sorts will allow the paradigm in your subconscious mind to shift and create a new belief of your new thoughts, bringing about a sense of calmness, surety, and contentment.

If you are always in a mindset of alarm and stressing out all the time, that is your dominate frequency radiating out into the Universe, attracting like energies and matching experiences back to you. Is that what you want in your life? I highly doubt it. You have the power to take control of your mind to eliminate fleeting thoughts that are causing you contention within. You are the only one who can change your life for good by tapping into the infinite power of your mind, which comes by thinking positive, happy thoughts most of the time.

I found that out the hard way. One day, years ago, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and started my day off in a bad mood (which doesn’t happen often). I must have had PMS, because I was frustrated from the get go and felt hormonal and irritated. As I went about my day, I wasn’t my easy-going self. Instead, I was in a hurry and impatient everywhere I went. Well, needless to say, my day didn’t go so well.

Later that day, after shopping, I got in my car to go home, and as I was backing up out of a parking lot, a lady walked behind me. I waited peevishly as I watched in my rearview mirror, mumbling for her to hurry up. Then the moment she was out of my way, I proceeded to back up in haste and failed to look back over my shoulder again to see if there were any cars behind me. Suddenly, I felt a big bump as my car came to a stop, followed by a loud crunching sound, and then the screeching of metal on metal—to my dismay, I had backed into a car that didn’t notice my reverse lights and that had driven up behind me as I was backing out!

I was obviously at fault because I didn’t take the time to look behind me a second time after the lady walked behind my SUV. But this entire event had come about because I was sending off negative energy all day long. I knew it too, and thought to myself, “Wow, really! I know better!” That was a pivotal point in my life, validating what I had learned once again that like attracts like in all things.

Don’t fall into the “it’s a bad day” mentality as I did. If you find that you have negative thoughts a lot, take note and change your mindset. Create a new positive attitude by simply making it a habit to think positively, and your life will improve at all levels. Your mind is your greatest tool of creation for both wanted and unwanted experiences. You can unlock its infinite power by simply believing in your innate gifts, talents, and abilities that God blessed you with. Recall that it’s your Divine Birthright to have all that your heart desires; the only thing stopping you from attaining your dreams is the paradigms in your mind—the limited beliefs you have about yourself. To shift your thoughts and beliefs about yourself requires that you think positively to have positive results. Once you shift your paradigms to believing in yourself, your world will transform in every way.

And as you go about thinking positively remember who you really are—you are a creator! Live from your higher self and stop focusing on the outcomes you’ve created from your old limiting thought patterns. You have the power within to create and manifest anything you truly believe. You can shift your mindset from worry and concern to joy and fun by focusing on what you are thankful for each day and by looking forward in faith to a bright and wondrous future. Doing so daily will enable you to establish new, empowering, positive beliefs, thus shifting the paradigms in your subconscious mind, which will enable you to dream big and reach for the stars!

Unleash Your Subconscious Mind Power

The subconscious mind is robust and is the reason you do everything that you do and it’s why you feel the way you do. It holds all programming from the environment you were raised in, which is why you think and act the way you do. You even think the way you do because of those who surrounded you while growing up; they created belief systems in your mind that are expressed in all that you do. By tapping into the immense powers of your subconscious, you will unleash your ability to change your results. As you know, we have two minds: the conscious mind and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is like the tip of a massive iceberg above sea level, and the subconscious mind is the enormous iceberg below the water surface. Your subconscious mind controls all aspects of your body and emotions and holds all beliefs and paradigms; it’s what creates desire and energy within you, which expresses the action.

The subconscious mind does not “care” if a thought is good or bad; it can’t reject a thought, nor can it tell the difference from what is real and what is imagined. Everything you think about is “reality” to the subconscious mind. It reacts to the energy frequencies and the visualization of the conscious mind each moment of the day. Luckily, because our thoughts are commanding in energy, we can change anything about our lives by merely changing our thoughts and the way we look at things. As Dr. Wayne Dyer explains, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” That’s one of my most cherished quotes—how you look at things changes according to the energy that you perceive from the event.

To allow change to take place in your life, you must first change the beliefs that do not serve you. These beliefs consist of negative or pessimistic thoughts that cause you to worry or to complain. By releasing negative thoughts and emotions, you will be able to establish new supportive thoughts that match your desire to create new beliefs. Once you have overcome a negative mindset, it’s wonderful to experience the uplifting feelings being positive brings.

It takes about three weeks to create a new belief system through habituation of thought, so be persistent with thinking in a positive way daily until it becomes your natural way of thinking. Shifting your belief system takes time—similar to if you wanted to get in shape. To help you desire to exercise, think over and over again, “I love to exercise! I can hardly wait to hit the gym each morning!” If you say that out loud and think it often, soon you will generate a new thought pattern and belief that will increase your desire to want to work out regularly. This concept applies to all levels of your life; you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, as taught by Napoleon Hill in his world-famous book, Think and Grow Rich: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Your thoughts are the blueprint of your life, conceive that you really can change your life and believe in your ability to achieve whatever it is your heart longs for.

As you go about changing your pattern of thought, do so by paying attention to what you think and what you say. The subconscious mind does not like lack or deprivation, and it does not like to be wrong. That’s why you need to talk to yourself in the present tense as if you have already achieved that which you aspire for. If you want to lose weight, it won’t do you any good to say, “I need to lose weight.” It will only reaffirm to the subconscious that you need to hold onto added weight for your desire to lose it. Instead, state as a matter-of-fact, “I am at my perfect bodyweight!” By doing so, your subconscious will enable your body to naturally release fat stores, and it will intuitively guide you to do what is needed to release ten pounds. On the flip side, if you continue to complain about your weight, you will continually crave foods high in sugar, fats, and sodium to validate how overweight you are.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life

So now that you know how powerful your thoughts are in creating your life, can you understand how essential it is to change your thoughts to change your life? Take a moment to reflect on your life as it is now, and think about what you think about most often. Now notice how your thoughts are reflected back to you in your life experiences. Can you see the connection? If you want to improve any aspect of your life, then you must first change your beliefs and thoughts about the particular aspects you want to expand.

Your habitual thoughts shape your belief system and paradigms in your mind; this is why your self-perception is how it is. Your beliefs and thoughts created your body and life as it is today. How do you feel about what you’ve created so far? Are you happy with your life and body? If your answer isn’t an astounding, “Yes!” then now is the time to take control of your life through the power of your mind by having positive, powerful thoughts on a continual basis.

It’s easy to look at reality and think that life is what it is. You may believe that some people have good luck and that others don’t. But actually, we all have the same good luck; it’s just a matter of what we think about and believe that enables us to live a fruitful life or not. If you choose to have thoughts and an attitude that supports your desires and stay laser-focused on your desired end result with enthusiasm, then you will surely accomplish your goals sooner than later and relish in the magic of living your dreams.

As I mentioned earlier, it takes time to master your mind, but with practice, it indeed is possible. Below is an excellent mind power connection exercise to help you train your mind to establish new beliefs in your subconscious mind. It may be simple for you, or it may seem next to impossible, either way, do it repeatedly to help you reprogram your mind.

As you complete this exercise, give yourself time to adjust to the new positive way of thinking. It may seem strange at first, but it will soon become natural each time you complete the exercise. Your mind has a mind of its own; it likes to be in control, and that’s why it’s often difficult to be in control of your mind at times. So give yourself a break if at first it’s a bit difficult to accomplish. Soon you will be able to focus your mind easily and with less effort and will have clarity of mind.

Mind Power Concentration Exercise

To begin, choose a location where you can sit comfortably and where you will be undisturbed for ten to twenty minutes. Turn off your phone, close your computer, and breathe deeply several times to help clear your mind.

Pick up an object that you appreciate and value, such as a family picture, a flower, or your favorite book. Choose something that brings you a sense of peace and tranquility.

Now concentrate on that object for several minutes. Notice all the details and colors—study it thoroughly.

Then close your eyes and imagine the image in your mind. Recreate the image as closely as possible. Once you see the image clearly in your mind’s eye, focus on it for several minutes. Concentrate on the image with all your attention so that only the image is vivid in your mind. Hold the image and just focus upon it. If other fleeting thoughts come into your mind, you will need to begin again.

The object of this exercise is to hold a clear distinctive image in your mind for at least ten minutes in the beginning (five minutes studying the object and five minutes thinking solely of it). Then increase the time to twenty minutes when you’re able to do so without deviating from the thought.

Once you have completed the exercise, breathe deeply and then give thanks for your infinite mind and for your ability to be the master of it. To practice tapping into the power of your mind, think positively and visualize how you wish to be and what you want to create, and before you know it, you will be living your dreams.

Once you have the power to concentrate clearly for up to twenty minutes, your inner strength and willpower will skyrocket! You will have the ability to easily banish negative thoughts when they pop up. Now don’t get discouraged if you fall into the trap of being negative now and again, just realize that it takes time to create a new habit, including exercising the power of your mind.

By incorporating this mental exercise into your life on a regular basis, you will become free of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, and you’ll sleep better too! All aspects of your life will improve as a result of practicing controlling the power of your mind.

Chapter 16

Defining Your Dreams

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt Now that you’ve learned how to release limiting thought patterns and how to think powerful positive thoughts of creation, you can now begin to create and manifest intentionally by dreaming about what it is that you really want. Dreaming is the beginning of creation. It unleashes the most powerful source of energy in the Universe: your imagination. Without your imagination you couldn’t dream, and without a dream you wouldn’t desire for something more, and without desires you would not be able to expand and become that which you long to be.

We all have infinite potential within that stirs a longing for something more—to dream new dreams and imagine our lives intentionally. Some of us dream about wanting a higher quality of life, others dream of being thinner, having more money, or having a loving relationship, but few of us take the needed steps to define our dreams. That is a critical step in shifting the paradigms of limiting beliefs from what we think we can achieve to having empowering beliefs about what we know we can achieve. If you don’t shift your paradigm, you can’t move forward in the directions of your dreams.

Tapping into your vast imagination creates powerful dreams that are fueled with creative energy. They inspire you to new heights and ignite passion within, awakening a deep desire and emotion in your subconscious mind, which takes it from a mere thought to the creation of a new belief to create your dreams. Just like when I first felt inspired to write this book. I was so excited at the thought of being an author and writing a book that would change lives. Before I even began to write, I felt how exciting it would be once it was published, and I saw myself being a highly successful author. The image in my mind was clear as day, which spurred action. Then I felt inspired to get writing and finish my book. In the beginning I would dream of my book as if it had already been published and the joy it would bring to people all around the world as well as to me. I didn’t lose sight of my dream—not once. Had I lost the vision, you most likely would not be reading this book right now.

Dreams are the windows to your soul, and they are intended to enlighten and uplift you, to bring joy and gladness, and to bring wealth and prosperity—all of which allow you to live a life filled with endless abundance. Your dreams broadcast your invisible reality, which is waiting for you to come into alignment with the future that is meant for you. It is your Divine Birthright to have all that your heart desires, for if it were not so, you would not desire to have it. Your higher self is directing your thoughts to that which you were created to have or become, and that is how dreams come to be. If it weren’t meant for you, then you would not have a desire to dream it.

Creating Well-Defined Dreams

Upon shifting your self-belief and paradigms to achieve your dreams, the next step is to define your dreams—in detail. Defining your dreams is clearly vital if you truly wish to improve your quality of life. The more specific and emotional you are about your dreams, the more your subconscious mind will believe that your dreams are to be your future, and it will go to work attracting back to you that which you dream about.

Dreaming as if you were already living your dreams is a powerful form of creation that God has blessed you with. If you want to change your life, then you need to define your dreams in detail by seeing the end in mind and by creating your desires mentally. You have to be clear about what you want by having a blueprint of your desires in your mind’s eye that is as specific and as detailed as it can be. It’s the blueprint of our future life experiences. Similar to having a custom home built, you wouldn’t go to a general contractor and simply say, “I would like a custom home built, please.” The general contractor would scratch her head in confusion and ask, “Do you know what style of home?” It would take conscious thought to figure out exactly what you want, from the style of house, the size, and the exterior finish to the interior paint, and carpet colors, and cabinets and fixtures, which are all indicated on the blueprints of your future home. Every aspect of having a custom home built requires a vision of what it will look like before the footing and foundation is poured. So it is with having dreams and tapping into the infinite intelligence of your mind and imagination. At the end of construction, after working day in and day out on your goal of building your dream home, you would soon move in and enjoy living your dream just as you envisioned.

Stephen R. Covey, a world-renowned self-help guru, explains perfectly the power of the mind. He taught: “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you’ve thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind.”

Our thoughts are the blueprints of our lives. You can’t create and manifest your dreams if you do not have a clear and final destination or point of attraction with the end in mind.

Thoughts are, in fact, the blueprints of our lives; all that you desire begins with a perceived thought. When you want to eat at your favorite restaurant, you know exactly where you want to go and what you want to order before you go. Defining your dreams is like placing an order at a restaurant. When you arrive at the restaurant, you don’t just sit down and hope the waitress brings you what you want to eat. You ask for the food you would like to eat specifically, even down to asking for the salad dressing you would like on the side.

If you were to tell the waitress, “I would like some food, please,” you would end up talking in circles, as the waitress would do her best to get you to focus in on what you really wanted to eat. But if you fail to ask for what you really wanted to eat, then you will be highly disappointed when the waitress places a day-old, dried-up hotdog in front of you. You would end up leaving the restaurant frustrated, and you would complain because the waitress didn’t bring you the delicious meal you were craving.

Defining your dreams is much the same. The more you set your intention on exactly what it is that you want, the more your subconscious mind will go into overdrive, sending out rockets of desire, vibrationally attracting back to you what you want. Focusing on what you really want enables your mind to be open to receiving divine inspiration to implement action that is necessary to attain that which you desire. When you fail to dream in detail and see yourself living the end result, you are limiting your ability to be a deliberate creator.

So what are your dreams? What do you wish you had in your life? Do you know exactly what you want to be, do, or have in the near future? What do you want to accomplish six months from now or within the next two years from now? If you don’t have dreams, you can’t set goals, and if you don’t have goals, you won’t be moving forward. Living from day to day without having hopes and dreams is like living your life as Bill Murray did in the movie Groundhog Day. Waking up and doing the same mundane things over and over and over again makes for a no fun, unfulfilling way to live.

You weren’t meant to be complacent. That’s why you don’t feel vibrant when you are feeling that way. You were meant to have a life filled with a loving family, limitless possibilities with grand adventures, joyful, tender moments, and plenty of prosperity for your needs and to share your wealth with others too. These experiences come by defining and believing in yourself and in your dreams.

Stop Focusing on the Unwanted

Don’t get stuck giving all your attention to your reality by focusing on the unwanted results you’ve already manifested. Recall that your reality is just the manifestation of your old thoughts. When you are continually absorbed with what you don’t have, you are sending out powerful vibrations that are subsequently attracting back to you reasons to validate your current set of circumstances, which makes for living as if it’s Groundhog Day, over and over again.

When you get caught up in what’s missing in your life, such as not having enough money, not having the love of your life, or not having good health, you are in a vibration of negative creation, which restricts the body, mind, and spirit from being in harmony to enable you to dream and believe in a better future. When you fail to dream, you are basically declaring to God and the Universe, “You know what? I’m not good enough or lucky enough, so why even try?” And how insulting is that when God has given you all that is needed to truly create that which you desire to have. So rather than be unthankful for what you have been blessed with, turn your attention to what you want with gratitude in your heart, knowing that you can manifest your dreams.

By focusing on what you do want and focusing on being thankful for what you already have, you will shift from thought patterns of not enough to thought patterns of abundance, which is critical to attract more abundance to you. Just as a doting parent wants to give the world to their appreciative child, so God feels about us, even more so than we can even begin to comprehend. He grants our desires often without us even realizing it.

Have you ever wished for something without doubting it could be and then soon after it came to fruition? You may have thought that it was an amazing happenstance, but in reality it wasn’t at all—you attracted it to you by not having any resistance to the idea coming to fruition. Defining and manifesting your dreams can be that simple. Our limited thinking about our innate abilities is what keeps us from accomplishing our dreams. It’s not that life is unfair or that “only the lucky ones” become rich or live happily, it’s what we believe in ourselves that makes our dreams attainable or not.

The Importance of Defining Dreams

I learned a long time ago just how powerful my mind is and the importance of defining my dreams. Years ago, shortly after my family moved into our new home (that my construction company built), I longed to have a barn and our horses closer to home. The thought awakened my childhood dreams of having horses in my own backyard, and I began to dream about it a lot. I asked my husband what he thought of building a barn, and he agreed and said it was a great idea. I was thrilled! I knew how powerful my mind was, and I also knew that if I had zero resistance to the things that I asked for, then my dreams would surely come true! I also began researching online and found the perfect barn for us, which was sold as a barn kit. I printed off the barn photo and posted it on my Reality Board (read more about the magic of Reality Boards in Chapter 20). I was so excited!

We then started looking around at lots nearby that had horse property, but we didn’t feel quite right about any of them. So I prayed, asking for guidance and help knowing what to do. Shortly afterward, I received divine inspiration. It was as if a light bulb turned on in my head! I was impressed upon to buy the older home behind our property. I was dumbfounded at first because it wasn’t for sale. The thought was crystal clear though; there was no denying the Holy Spirit had answered my prayers, so I knew in one way or another we would be able to purchase the home. I then discovered after researching it that it was owned by a leasing company and that it was being rented by a man who worked out of state often. I learned that it was going to be auctioned off within a few months. I was shocked that it was actually going to become available sooner than I thought.

I dreamed BIG and visualized us having my dream barn and our horses on the lot behind our backyard. I believed with all my heart that we could buy the house and build our barn, and I gave thanks daily for the gift of being able to fulfill my dreams. I tapped into the innate power of my mind by thinking intentionally about our future barn in great detail. I visualized the construction of it, the color of it, and even saw myself walking my horses out of their stalls and into the wash rack and hooking them up to the cross ties to groom them. I used all my senses as I imagined it. In my mind, I touched it, smelled the hay in the hay room, heard the stall doors open, and even tasted refreshing drinks as I sat in the breezeway to relax. It was as if I were really in my soon-to-be barn each time I visualized it. I told our children that we were going to buy the house behind us for our future barn so our horses wouldn’t have to boarded anymore, and they too became excited as we discussed it as a family and visualized together. It was so much fun!

I then heard through the grapevine that the man who was renting it moved out of state and that the house was going up for auction within a month…and lo and behold, can you guess what happened next? We bought the house—before it went up for auction! Within four months of purchasing it, we demolished the house, had the barn kit delivered, and my husband built my dream barn! (I didn’t even know he knew how to build a barn!) And our horses were in our backyard just as I imagined they would be. Needless to say, it ALL turned out just as I knew it would, and it all took place in less than six months! It was truly a miraculous journey, and it still warms my heart when I think about it today. It was a huge validation of just how powerful tapping into the innate powers of my mind really is and how God hears and answers our prayers.

Believe in Your Dreams

It’s not enough to merely dream—you need to full-heartedly believe and know that your dreams can, in fact, come true. Just as I believed that I could have a barn and then manifested it, so too can you manifest what you desire. Too often as women we get so caught up in everyone else’s dreams that we fail to recognize our own. We fail to give heed to our heart’s desires and don’t believe that having a dream and creating goals to accomplish those dreams will enable them to actually come true. Or many of us believe that our dreams can’t happen until the distant future, which then brings about feelings of doubt and disbelief about being able to accomplish our dreams. This proves to be a self-fulfilling prophesy as the Universal laws go in effect corroborating our beliefs, which ultimately leads to loss of hope and faith in the actuality that dreams really can come true.

Defining your dreams inspires goal setting and causes needed action to take place. The mind can only create that which you believe, and a belief is merely thoughts you habitually think about. By changing your thought process, you can create new beliefs to support your goals and dreams by simply thinking about what you want with a thankful heart as if you already had it. It’s truly magical to experience the awe and simplicity of manifesting dreams once you get the concept, accept it as truth, and relish in your ability to manifest easily with intention.

Your feelings and emotions are the fuel that ignites your dreams to come to fruition. Take a moment to think about something you really wanted and how overjoyed you were when you got it, such as buying a new car or a new home or landing your ideal job. These experiences couldn’t have come to fulfillment if you did not dream about them first, visualize yourself having the thing you dreamed about, and believe you could obtain it. Whether you know it or not, you manifested your dreams with your unlimited thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Your beliefs vary between areas of your life, and that’s why some things come to you easily while others seem nearly unattainable. By releasing resistance to what you dream of having, you will open the pathways before you, which enable you to attain that which you long for. Holding on to disbelief about being able to manifest your dreams will only keep you stuck in the quicksand of your mind…and who wants that? I know I sure don’t!

If you don’t dream about a better way of life, then you are not honoring your higher self. We long for improvements in our lives because they are what is best for us individually—living a fulfilling life as it was meant to be enables expansion within us. Your higher self already knows what it is you should be, do, and have to fulfill your Divine Birthright, which is why you long for something more. When you open your heart to dreaming, you open your heart to receiving divine gifts and treasures from above, and that’s when the magic of life takes place all around you as tender mercies from above come before you to enable you to live your dreams joyfully.

If you seem to find dreaming unfulfilling or hard to do, then try the steps on the following page to get you in the right mindset to enable you to believe in your dreams. Remember, dreams are the blueprints to attaining your goals—so be as detailed as you can. Without dreams, you can’t create goals, and without goals you lose sight of your dreams.

How to Define Your Dreams

Know What You Want. Take time to ponder your heart. What is it that you really want? If you don’t know, then think about areas of your life that you would like to improve, and write them down.

Have a Yearning to Achieve Your Dreams. If you don’t have a deep yearning to achieve your dreams, then it will never come forward. It will always be just wishful thinking in the back of your mind. You have to really, really want it in order to believe it can come true.

Visualize Success. The visions in your mind are a preview to your life’s upcoming attractions. What you visualize, you will materialize. Use the power of your mind to visualize your goals in detail. You can create a Reality Board (read more about the magic of Reality Boards in Chapter 20) to help you visualize what it is you want to manifest with clarity. As you visualize, use all five senses to take your mind into the wonderment of your imagination. Remember, the mind doesn’t know real from make believe, and it always believes what you visualize most as reality, which sends out pulses of vibration to attract your desires back to you. If you can’t picture yourself achieving your dreams, then you won’t. Visualize living your dreams now to begin manifesting them in the future.

Create an Action Plan. Just as a successful football team has an action plan or a game plan before they hit the field, so must you. You can’t just have dreams and expect them to come true. You need to create a game plan for all the areas of your life you want to improve. If you want to reduce your weight, you will need to set a time every morning to work out and make it point to eat whole foods throughout the day. To create your dreams, following through with an inspired action plan is necessary if you truly want to succeed.

Commit to achieving your dreams. After you write down an action plan, commit to fulfilling your dreams. Take focused action each day by reading your goals first thing each morning and visualizing yourself following through that day. The more committed you are, the sooner you will begin to see tender mercies come your way as you begin to experience living your dreams.

Set a date to accomplish your dreams. If you just say, “I’m going to do this or that someday,” then guess what? Someday may never come. However, if you think and speak in the present tense and believe you can succeed, then you will surely be celebrating your dreams in the timeframe you set forth. Set a specific timeline as to the date you want to accomplish your dreams, be realistic, and then take the inspired action to do so.

Have a heart full of gratitude. The more thankful you are, the sooner you will believe in your dreams and the more abundance will flow to you to fulfill your dreams. Always focus on being thankful for what you have and see living your dream as the icing on the cake. Recall that the more gratitude you have, the more you will have to be grateful for.

If you implement these simple tips, you will soon believe in your ability to create your dreams as you come to delight in the power of manifesting your dreams.

Chapter 17

Setting & Attaining Your Goals

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on Earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

~ Thomas Jefferson

Now that you understand how to define your dreams, the next step is to set attainable goals in order to manifest your dreams; after all, what good are dreams without having goals to accomplish them? Setting goals is the pathway to success. It doesn’t matter what it is you want—you can achieve anything by setting goals. But first, you have to know what you want.

Those who set goals accomplish more and are more productive and successful. Setting goals really is powerful. When you set goals, you will have more clarity of thought, you will use your time wisely, and you will not be so crazy busy with the nonsense of rushing about life. If you really want to be in control of your life, then set goals. The more goal-oriented you are, the more you know in detail about what you want to accomplish, which will define your future and what you attract back to you. The more clear-minded you are, the more peace and simplicity you will have in your life, which then creates a sense of contentment and well-being.

Identifying Your Goals

When I began my journey of self-discovery and expansion many years ago, I would dream of being fit, healthy, and strong. At the time I didn’t know how to even begin going about achieving the things I had dreamed of. It wasn’t until I began identifying exactly what I wanted to create and manifest in my life that I began having a desire to set goals as a means to accomplish my dreams. But as I came to understand the power of identifying my goals, I also became empowered to achieve my goals.

Once I knew precisely what I wanted in all areas of my life, from my heath to even our income, I was able to identify tangible goals that I desired to accomplish in detail. I wrote down my goals (in the present tense) and placed them where I could see and read them daily. I would visualize myself as if I was already living my goals, and I would follow up with a positive affirmation that supported each of my goals. (You can read about positive affirmations in Chapter 18.) Reading my goals daily turbo-charged my manifesting abilities and kept me laser-focused on them. Being mindful of your goals throughout the day is essential for accomplishment.

Do you know what you want to accomplish, be, do, or have in the next month, year, or even five years from now? If not, think about what it is you really want. Ponder what you are passionate about, think about what brings you joy, inner peace, and bliss—think about what makes you smile. You may desire to have a new car or get a new job, or perhaps you would like to shed a few pounds or start a new business. Just think about what you long for most. At first it may seem selfish to focus on what you want, but if you don’t know what you want, then how will you grow and expand to become happier, healthier, and more prosperous? You won’t. Desire is a good thing—it inspires us to dream and to aim for something more.

Once you know what you want, then you can set goals to attain it. Goals are a powerful aspect of manifesting intentionally. Having specific goals requires you to take into account what you really want to achieve in your life, which inspires desirable action in order to move forward. You may not realize just how simple goal setting actually is. It is very much like when you want to buy a new car—once you decide you want to buy a new car, you don’t just sit there and think, “I hope I get a new car someday.” Having a vague thought will not get you a new car.

In order to buy a new car, you have to decide in detail which car you would like to buy. At the beginning of your car-purchasing process, you begin by deciding what you want, what your needs are, and the purpose for needing a new car. Next you decide how much you can afford, which manufacturer and model you like best, what color you want, and which upgrades you would like to have. As you do, you naturally create a visual in your mind’s eye and see the end result of driving your new car. You will sense what it will feel like, smell like, look like, and sound like, which then motivates you to take focused action to go car hunting. After you get to that point, you will select a dealership and go there to buy a car that reflects the mental representation of what you want. Before you know it, you will be driving your new car home.

Setting goals is very much the same. When you fine-tune your desires and know what it is it you want, in detail, you set a clear image in your mind of your ideal outcome. Once you know what you want, you need to write it down. This is a very important step of the goal-setting process. Without taking time to write it down, your wants will merely be wishful thinking.

By writing down your goals (not typing them), you will be initiating an infinite tool of creation by using your mind and body to write your goals. Writing your goals imprints in your subconscious mind your desires, causing the energy of creation to radiate from you, thus putting into motion that what is needed to bring your goal to fruition.

Setting goals also inspires you to take needed action to achieve that which you desire to have. Setting goals will give you direction and purpose by effectively orchestrating the power of thought to stay on track to accomplish your dreams. But it isn’t enough to just write down your goals. You need to believe they can in fact come true! And you need to DREAM BIG and create goals that stretch your abilities; if your goals don’t scare and excite you at the same time, then they aren’t big enough. Go after what is worthy of you! Go after what you want by dreaming big dreams.

Once you know what you want, in detail, create an action plan to accomplish your goals. An effective goal is specific and is accompanied by a plan for working toward it every day and a timeline for completion. Now I’m not saying you have to know how to accomplish your goal—that will limit your creative process. You have to be willing to receive divine guidance on a daily basis and stay laser-focused on your goals to enable you to reach them. Knowing when you will accomplish your goal is important; otherwise you could have the same dream for life. If you don’t know when you will complete your goal, it could literally turn into a lifelong goal—and you may never complete it. Without having a specific vision of what you would like to accomplish, how you will achieve it? You won’t. And without a deadline to accomplish your detailed goal, how will your subconscious know when to manifest it? Without having structured goals, your goals will just be wishful thinking, leaving them powerless and ineffective.

Setting goals is not only highly rewarding, but it’s also fun! Who doesn’t want to live a higher quality of life filled with more love, joy, peace, happiness, and prosperity? When you set goals, you are powerfully setting energy into motion, which opens pathways before you that weren’t there before you focused your attention on what you wanted to achieve. This focused energy then brings an awareness of the tender mercies of divine direction in your life as you attain that which you set your goals upon.

If at first you don’t feel you deserve a better way of life or know what you want (as many people do), then create a new belief system that supports a longing for the attainment of having goals and dreams. Use the power of your mind to shift from doubt and inadequacy to belief and great abundance.

Live Up to Your True Potential

If you are not setting effective goals, then know that you are not living up to your true potential. Have you ever wondered how highly successful people became that way? It’s because they set goals! Successful people in all fields are goal-oriented. They set goals, prioritize their time, and take action as they stay laser-focused day-to-day to accomplish that which they set out to do. Goal setting is a commonality between successful people across the globe, from top-level executives to professional athletes and successful business owners alike. Goals are incredibly powerful when implemented correctly. If you really want to change your life, then take time to set goals! You can achieve anything you set your mind to by setting structured goals and then following through with your action plan.

Did you know that only three percent of the world’s population takes the time to ponder and write down their goals? And did you also know that top three percent of the people in the world make the most money in the world? Do you see the parallel? It is scientifically proven that people who write down their goals are ninety percent more likely to accomplish their goals and dreams as opposed to those who just think about their goals.

You too can accomplish extraordinary things by writing down your goals and saying affirmations throughout the day to support your goals. Goals can be made for anything you wish to improve upon; although there are several main areas to set goals in to define your dreams, below are the most significant areas for improvement. With each topic, I’ve explained which areas of life can be improved. I also have examples of goals and affirmations to help you create powerful goals to enable you to accomplish your heart’s desires.

Goal Setting Areas of Improvement

Personal Development/Spirituality: self-improvement, self-discovery, being closer to God, body/mind/spirit, higher self, hope, faith

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I will do something that I enjoy each day. I AM love. I love myself and everyone I see.” “I will create my life on purpose by thinking intentionally. I AM a co-creator of my life with God. I manifest my goals easily.” “I will love and cherish all that I am daily. I relish in the deliciousness of all that I AM and love everything about me.”

Health & Fitness: wellness, weight loss, increased fitness level, healthier body, diet & nutrition, exercise, body image, self-love, vitality, longevity

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I wake up and exercise each weekday for forty-five minutes. I AM at my ideal body weight.” “I think positively and believe in myself. I AM a happy, vibrant woman of truth and light.” “I will eat clean, wholesome foods daily. I love how I feel when I eat clean.” “I love my body. I AM fit, thin, healthy, and strong.”

Money & Finances: income, budgeting, saving money, living within your means, valuing money

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I live within my means. I AM a money magnet.” “I will save ten percent of each paycheck each month. I AM divinely inspired as to how to attract more money to me.” “I will spend my money wisely. I AM a creator of my prosperity, and I choose to attract more prosperity now.” “I will live within my budget and share with those in need. I AM at peace with money. Money flows to me easily and effortlessly.”

Loving Relationships: love, marriage, partnership, understanding, kindness, giving, appreciating

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I will say daily, I love being me! I attract loving relationships wherever I go.” “I believe in me. I love being in love with me.” “I will be kind, understanding, and compassionate. I AM filled with love and light.” “I will do something social each week.” “I AM in love with my companion, and he loves me passionately.”

Family & Friends: communication, appreciation, spending time together, helping another, love

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I will show my appreciation to my family and friends daily. I attract wonderful, new, like-minded people into my life each day.” “I will spend quality time with my family each day. I AM a loving wife and mother.” “I will do an act of charity each day. I AM divinely inspired to help others each new day.”

Hobbies & Talents: bliss, happiness, joy, giving, sharing, thriving

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I will follow my bliss each day. I AM passionate about doing what’s best for me.” “I will develop my talents more fully. I love my gifts and talents and give thanks to God for blessing me so abundantly.” “I will work toward my goals each new day. I thrive and succeed in all that I do.”

Career & Education: job, school, learning, continuing education, discovery

Sample Goals & Affirmations: “I will be on time to work each day. I love my job, and I love what I do.” “I will learn something of great importance each new day. I relish in continuing my education and soaking up everything I can like a sponge.” “I will explore what I enjoy more deeply. I love to discover new likes, and I welcome wonderful new discoveries in my life.”

How to Set Attainable Goals

There are various ways to set goals, all of which require faith and belief in your ability to attain your goals. For starters, there are short-term goals and long-term goals, and each play an intricate role in accomplishing success. Short-term goals are stepping-stones to achieve long-term goals. For instance, if you want to get in tip top shape but need to shed some extra weight first, you can set both a short-term goal to release the excess weight and a long-term goal that depicts exactly how much you want to weigh, how your physique will look, and when you will achieve it. Setting fitness and diet goals will keep you laser-focused on creating a lean, fit physique to enable you to accomplish your long-term fitness goal. Your long-term goals can be as big as you would like them to be. There’s no right or wrong in what you aspire for, just as long as you know you can achieve what you imagine.

The best way to communicate about setting goals is to speak in the language your conscious and subconscious mind comprehends. Your mind does not understand negative words such as “not,” “don’t,” “can’t,” or “won’t,” it only understands positive words such as “I am …,” “I have …,” “I achieved …” The clearer you are in proclaiming your desires, the better your mind understands what it is you want. Always begin your goals with “I” because your subconscious will comprehend your thought as if you have already achieved it, which then puts it to work attracting back to you what it believes. The more focused you are in attaining your goals, the more you will hear the promptings of the Spirit directing the path before you in order to enable you to accomplish your goals.

When writing your goals, you need to write them as though you have already accomplished them. Write down your goals on a piece of paper in the present tense because the subconscious mind only understands the language of “now” and doesn’t like deprivation. Set your goals as if you have already achieved them. If weight loss is a goal, you could write, “I am ten pounds lighter” or “I am at my ideal body weight” or “I accomplished my ideal body weight by (write a completion date).” Then place your goals where you can read them each morning and again at night before you go to bed. Make your goals simple, detailed, and concise—the shorter they are, the more impact they will have on the subconscious mind.

When you create goals and write them down in detail with emotion, it laser-focuses your subconscious mind to believe that what you are focused on is, in fact, truth. Setting goals with the end in mind is a fundamental aspect of manifesting your dreams; it enables you to mentally focus your attention on the “end result” as if you’ve already achieved your goal, thus setting energy into motion to bring people, circumstances, and events into your experience that are needed to bring your goal to fruition.

When you create a goal by writing it down, you naturally visualize the end result, which is powerful because the process establishes new beliefs in the subconscious mind, and these new beliefs then become your reality. When you write down goals that you believe you can accomplish in a few weeks, months, or years and read them aloud with energy daily, you are declaring with clarity to the Universe that you will achieve these goals. Believe that what you are striving for is obtainable. Set goals for accomplishments that make you excited and bring you joy, and before you realize it you will, in fact, be living your dreams—just be sure to read your goals each morning and work toward attaining your goals each day.

When setting goals, remember that it is best to write down what you want to improve upon and how you will accomplish it, followed by an action plan, a completion date, and a supporting positive affirmation. For instance, if your goal is weight reduction and to get in shape, then set goals you can do in two to four weeks, such as: Goal: I AM ten pounds lighter, I weigh____ (write your ideal weight).

Action Plan: I wake up at 6:30 a.m. and exercise for sixty minutes, doing thirty minutes of strength training followed by thirty minutes of cardio, Monday through Friday.

Completion Date: I will achieve my ideal goal weight by (date).

Affirmation: I AM fit, thin, happy, and strong.

To help get you started with positive momentum, write down five short-term goals on the space allocated on the next page or in a notebook. Write down what you believe you can achieve within the next few weeks. These goals have to be believable to you, or you won’t even begin to try to accomplish them because your belief system of “I can’t” will override your desire for change, resulting in your subconscious mind self-sabotaging your goals before you even give yourself a chance to get started.

For instance, if your goal is to run a half marathon by the end of the year, then set a short-term goal: Goal: I run three to five miles four times a week.

Action Plan: I will wake up at 6:00 a.m., and I will go jogging before work.

Completion Date: I will be able to jog five miles easily by (set date).

Affirmation: I love to run and feel energized and invigorated each time I train for my half marathon.

Take time to be descriptive and write in detail. Then refer back to your goals daily to keep your mind laser-focused until you achieve your goals. Then once you achieve them, set new goals and repeat.

As you create your goals, enjoy the process. It really is enjoyable, and it is highly satisfying to dream a dream, to set a goal based on that dream, and then to take focused and inspired action to attain and manifest your goal. Have a positive mindset and truly believe in your ability to accomplish your goals. You have the power within you to manifest anything you set your mind to and believe you can achieve, so dream big dreams!

Decide to be one of the top three percent of the successful people in the world who have goals, and believe in your ability to manifest your dreams. As you do, have a heart filled with love and thankfulness to the Lord for orchestrating the ability to accomplish your goals. And before long, you will accomplish your goals and enable yourself to live your dreams.

Setting Your Goals

Goal:

Action Plan:

Completion Date:

Affirmation:

Section Four

Manifesting Your Dreams

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.

~ Napoleon Hill

Chapter 18

Positive Affirmations

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

~ James Allen

If you could change any aspect of your life, what would you change? Take a moment to really think about what it is you would change. What would your life look like? What accomplishments would you strive for? Where would you go? What would you do? Now imagine your life without limitations, resistance, and fear. Imagine living your dreams free of self-doubt, worry, and concern. Can you sense the freedom in the energy that you feel by doing so?

Picture your life filled with heartwarming love, immense joy, and unlimited abundance. How does that feel? Can you sense the tranquility, the peace, and the splendor of living your dreams? You may be thinking, “Ah…if only that were possible.” Well, guess what? It can be! You can use positive affirmations to help shift your subconscious mind to embrace your powers within to create the life you were just dreaming about. Positive affirmations are influential in helping us shift from limiting beliefs to powerful positive beliefs. If used frequently, they can transform your belief system from limiting paradigms to empowerment.

Positive affirmations are highly effective in transforming any aspect of life. You can use positive affirmations on a daily basis to clearly define your goals and dreams, to help you be more loving and happy, and even to have more energy. Using affirmations consistently will solidify your ideas, goals, and dreams in your subconscious mind and create a concrete picture of where you want to go, be, do, or have—creating desired actions and results. The words you speak are commanding the energy of what you would like to experience in the future.

I’ve used positive affirmations for more than twenty years with outstanding success. Not a day goes by that I don’t repeat affirmations several times a day. After I say my affirmation I wrap my arms around myself to embrace God’s love as I express my appreciation to Him, saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord! I love my life and the blessings I receive each day!” Each time I express my heartfelt thankfulness, I feel His love, grace, and light warm and gladden my soul deeply. My life literally transformed in miraculous ways when I began using positive affirmations daily. I was healthier and happier; I had more energy and willpower; I transformed my physique beyond my dreams; I increased my income substantially, and I became more in tune with my higher self and with the promptings of the Spirit. Every aspect of my life dramatically improved. By using positive affirmations daily, I created a new belief system that supported my heart’s desires, which allowed me to manifest my goals and dreams—in all areas of my life!

The daily practice of saying positive affirmations will change your natural thought process and reprogram your mind to believe the words you repeatedly say and think about as truth. It’s not difficult to change a belief. Recall that a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking about. By focusing on positive thoughts consistently, your mind will create new, energizing neural pathways, which will override the old belief patterns. Word repetition creates corresponding images in the conscious mind, which relays these images to the subconscious mind, resulting in taking focused action. By using affirmations daily, you can recondition the conscious and subconscious mind, creating new habits that directly alter your behavior, mental attitude, and activities. This change will greatly expand your quality of life. When you improve your thought process, you automatically improve your life.

Positive affirmations are highly beneficial for attaining results. Sometimes results appear very soon, while other times it may take days, weeks, months, or years. Results depend on your faith in the will of God and trust in His Universal timing, the intensity of your desires, and whether your belief system is primed to allow that which you want to receive. You need to also take into account how small or big your goals are. If you try to make your affirmations work or figure out how to make your desires manifest, then you will be disappointed. Trying to force your affirmation to happen is an action that stems from emotions of fear and disbelief, and by doing so, you will have resistance to that which you want, which will hinder your affirmation’s manifestation. You must trust in yourself and trust in a higher order, and you must believe in the timing of God’s will and that everything always turns out for your highest good.

Saying affirmations with an attitude of love, faith, and gratitude will send out a surge of high vibrational frequencies that are emotionally based, which is like pouring gasoline on a fire. And if by chance you don’t feel hopeful and happy as you say your affirmations, don’t waste your breath on saying them. Get in the habit of saying affirmations with energy and enthusiasm. The more emotion you have, the more ingrained your affirmation will be in your subconscious, which will shift your paradigm about what you really can achieve. For affirmations to work, you need to know and feel assuredly that what you want to create and manifest can, in fact, come true!

When saying your positive affirmations, it is best to be in a carefree, happy mood so that you are in a serene, accepting state of mind. When you are relaxed and open to receiving, your subconscious mind is more open to positive suggestions, and it accepts the images received from the conscious mind. This is why hypnotists use relaxation techniques with their patients. The more you feel good, the more your affirmations will have fertile soil, and the easier it will be to reap what you sow.

Affirmations Are Not Always Positive

Affirmations are not always positive. Everything you repeatedly say or think, either good or bad, is an affirmation. If you are constantly worried about how you are going to make ends meet financially each month and have thoughts, such as, “I can’t afford this” or “We don’t have enough money to buy that,” you are unknowingly declaring to the Universe negative affirmations, which will then attract back to you more reasons to complain about not having enough money. Affirmations are what we repeatedly think, say, and feel. What we think about and say out loud comes back to us, regardless if it’s for our higher good or not. When you are stuck in an emotional rut or find that you are constantly putting yourself down, then you’ll surely find that life is more often difficult than not.

Think about your day so far. How did you wake up? Did you wake up positive and happy? Or did you wake up groggy and grouchy? When you looked in the mirror this morning, did you think positively about yourself, or did you mumble unkind words about yourself as you walked away? The words and emotions you feel when you start your day are affirmations announcing energetically to the Universe how you want your day to be, either intentionally or unintentionally. That’s why it’s critical to think intentionally about what you do want. Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are continuously serving as powerful affirmations, which set forth the events that you will soon experience throughout the day.

If you woke up bright-eyed and cheerful, then you are most likely going to have a great day. But if you happened to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, then you are probably having a no-good day (unless you changed your attitude). If you aren’t having a very positive day, don’t despair. You can alter how your day will unfold from here on out by simply changing your thoughts to reflect the kind of day you want to have by repeating positive affirmations. You can say them out loud or in the silence of your mind until you feel better and more lighthearted. Doing so will shift your energy vibration, which will change who and what you attract the rest of the day.

If you really want to change your life, then think about what you want with thankfulness and appreciation by saying positive affirmations that support your desire for change. You can give your hopes and dreams a firm foundation by using positive affirmations regularly. It takes about twenty-one to thirty days to create a new habit—don’t give up on using affirmations until you’ve given yourself a chance to create a habit of doing so.

To fully utilize the power of affirmations, you need to state them with excitement and intention several times a day. It’s even more beneficial to say affirmations while looking in the mirror at yourself as you say them. The more feeling and energy you exude as you say them, the more powerful your affirmations will be at attracting what you desire to you. If you say affirmations with disbelief, then the negative dominate energy of vibration will override your positive affirmation, leaving you filled with doubt and disbelief. But if you say your affirmations with excitement and zest for life, and if you feel as though you have already attained the topic of your affirmations, then you’ll skyrocket your desires, which will make your dreams manifest into your life sooner and with less effort.

Your mind is like a garden, and your thoughts are the seeds that you plant and from which you will harvest. If you want an abundance of red, crisp apples, you must plant apple seeds. You can’t plant sour cherry seeds and expect apple trees to grow. You always sow what you reap with your thoughts, just like a garden. Using positive affirmations with passion will condition the subconscious mind to believe what you repeatedly say and think is, in fact, true—attracting back to you that which you believe. By saying positive affirmations throughout the day, it will counteract limiting thoughts and beliefs, and it will empower you to become that which you affirm you will have and achieve. Affirmations will enable you to develop a positive opinion of yourself, which will increase self-love, acceptance, and belief.

Positive Affirmations are Vital for Success

Without exception, positive affirmations are vital to achieving success. They are the super glue that holds your desire and belief together, which is what enables you to manifest. When you make a conscious effort to change your life with your thoughts, you are in what I like to call a vibration of creation. By using positive affirmations, you will shift your viewpoint of yourself, which will shift your energy into invigorating, positive energy. Implementing affirmations is simple. It only takes a few minutes a day to read, write, or say your affirmations out loud to directly affect your future life experiences. Affirmations open the portal to creation with intention. They also connect the body, mind, and spirit by tapping into your higher self and allowing your Divine Birthright to come to fruition. Affirmations enable you to use the Art of Allowing (see Chapter 21) and receive more fully. And they evoke more loving and believing energy within you.

Saying positive affirmations often will increase your belief in that which you affirmed. Using affirmations with an open heart and mind enables you to receive promptings and receive tender mercies from above to lighten your way to achieve your dreams. Affirmations increase not only your mental attitude but your emotional well-being. When you are focused on the positive, the world around you seems brighter, people are friendlier and more giving, your marriage or relationship improves, and your self-worth increases.

By implementing positive affirmations into your life, you will increase positive energy within and around you, which will directly influence your future by attracting people, circumstances, and events to bring your affirmations to fruition. It’s exhilarating to notice how often serendipity takes place around you when you are in the habit of saying positive affirmations, and the more you notice it and give thanks, the more serendipity plays an active role in your life. It’s truly magical!

As magical as it is, it’s important to keep in mind that positive affirmations only work if you have a positive mental attitude. Negative thoughts and beliefs will supersede positive affirmations because a negative thought typically has stronger energy vibration of emotion. That’s why it’s easier to be negative than positive. Until you have trained your mind to have a positive attitude naturally, it will require you to think intentionally and on purpose. Reprogramming your mind takes time, perseverance, and repetition. It’s the same as strength training. If you want lean, sculpted arms then you have to lift weights and eat clean regularly, otherwise you will not be able to transform your physique.

Your mind also requires constant stimulation, which can be achieved by exercising your train of thought to be positive and productive to achieve your goals and dreams. Using positive affirmations is like the weights in training, they enable your mind to grow and expand in knowledge, understanding, truth, and belief. Thinking negative thoughts or letting fleeting thoughts come and go without noticing them and releasing them is the same as being a couch potato and then complaining that you can’t get in shape.

Using positive affirmations can be enjoyable, insightful, and highly rewarding! You can create positive affirmations for any area of your life you want to improve, from health to money and relationships to self-worth. There are several ways to create and use affirmations in addition to implementing a few principles when creating positive affirmations.

Principles for creating affirmations:

Always begin with I AM, when fitting. The words “I AM” are the most powerful words you can use when saying your affirmations. The words “I AM” reflect the omnipotence that resides within you.

Always write affirmations in the present tense. If you write, “I will lose weight,” that is too vague, and it will not help you shed pounds quickly. Instead write or say, “I AM___pounds lighter.”

Say or read your affirmations with energy and emotion. Remember, emotion is energy in motion, so use it to your advantage and be excited when you say or read your affirmations. The more energizing emotion you have tied to your affirmations, the sooner they will manifest into your experience.

Use the word LOVE to express feelings. Love is the most powerful energy in the Universe; it’s what holds the Law of Attraction in perfect order. Use it often to express your affirmations, such as, “I love ALL that I AM” or “I love being filled with vibrant energy” or “I love to exercise daily!”

Trust God and the process. You’ve probably heard the saying, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” That’s precisely how it works. Trust that God will bring about your wishes through the laws of the Universe. Everything that is meant to be has a divine time and order. Trust it and let it be.

Believe in your ability to receive. Let go of resistance to what you are declaring in your affirmations. Believe that you will, in fact, receive that which you desire. Remember, if you doubt, it will cause resistance, which will block that which you desire from coming to you.

Live in an attitude of gratitude. Give thanks to your Father in Heaven for blessing you with your desires as you create your affirmations. Having a heart filled with thankfulness and appreciation is very powerful. Call to mind that the more you are grateful the more you will have to be grateful for.

Know what you want—in detail. If you don’t know what you want in detail, then you won’t be able to create that which you want. If you walked into an ice cream parlor and asked for ice cream, you’d then be asked, “Which flavor?” Be specific as you create your affirmations.

Write down your affirmations. Writing affirmations is an excellent way to declare what you would like to manifest. Writing is also a form of receiving enlightenment. You can write down your positive affirmations daily in a special notebook, or write them all at once and then post them where you can read them daily. You can write them on post cards and place them around you, or you can write on your mirror or in a notebook—use whatever method resonates with you.

Be descriptive when you say your positive affirmations. Be as descriptive as you can when you say your affirmations. Use your imagination to create a new belief system in your subconscious mind. What will it smell like, look like, sound like, taste like, and feel like when your dreams manifest? Let your imagination soar like it did when you were a child and relish in the thoughts of living your dreams.

Read your affirmations daily. It won’t do you any good to write down your affirmations if you only read them once. Place your affirmations where you can see them often and read them with zeal each morning and night before you go to sleep. And when you fall asleep, visualize yourself living your affirmations.

The more time you are willing to invest in yourself and commit to reading and feeling your affirmations, the more you feel as if you’ve already achieved or attained them, the sooner they will manifest. Using affirmations daily will put the Law of Attraction into action, resulting in the creation of your goals and dreams. Just as the saying goes, “Energy flows to where attention goes.” So too will it be with you.

Below are affirmations you can use to help you believe in yourself and accomplish your goals and dreams. You can use these as an example as you create your own personal affirmations. I like to keep my affirmations short, sweet, and to the point, but you can make them as long and elaborate as your heart desires. Just be sure to write in the present tense and make them individualized to your own needs and desires. Have fun, believe, and enjoy the process of creating and manifesting your dreams!

Positive Affirmations for Success

I Am a Beloved Child of God.

I Am Always Guided and Protected by God and His Angels.

I Am a Master Manifestor!

I Am Fit, Thin, Happy, and Rich!

I Am Filled with Joy, Love, Peace, and Happiness!

I Attract Money Easily and Effortlessly!

I Am Healthy and Strong!

I Am Thankful and Greatly Blessed Always!

I Am Deserving! I Receive Abundantly!

I Am Grateful and Love My Healthy, Vibrant Body!

I Am a Money Magnet!

I Attract Money Easily and Effortlessly!

I Love Life, & Life Loves Me!

I Live in an Attitude of Love, Gratitude, & Forgiveness.

I Am a Powerful Creator!

I Am Always at My Ideal Body Weight!

I Am __ Pounds Lighter!

I Manifest My Goals and Dreams with Ease!

I Am Divinely Guided at All Times.

All is Well in All Areas of My Life.

The Universe Conspires for My Highest Good.

I am Happy & Joyful!

I Celebrate Life Each Day!

I Am Filled with Faith, Hope, & Charity.

I Am Perfection!

I Am Happy, Whole, & Complete!

I Am a Happy, Healthy Wife & Mother.

Chapter 19

The Art of Visualization

A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.

~ Denis Waitley

Have you ever had the experience where you thought about something you wanted a lot, and then, to your surprise, you got it? You may have thought of it as a mere coincidence, but in actuality, it wasn’t a coincidence; you inadvertently manifested it into your life. You did so by thinking about it and visualizing it in your mind’s eye prior to attaining it. The Art of Visualization helps create images in the mind. When accompanied with emotion, this creates new beliefs in the subconscious mind, and you know what that means: beliefs become reality.

The process of visualization is a remarkable tool for creation that excites the psyche and stimulates the mind and body. Visualization is a simple concept—what you think about you bring about. Yet visualization has an in-depth power and energy that goes well beyond simple thinking alone. Even if you are not consciously aware of how your thoughts produce “things,” your mind is always busy thinking, visualizing, and attracting back to you what you visualize about most by the Law of Attraction, which is constantly organizing your energy of thought frequencies and bringing that which you think about to you.

We live in a prodigious, quantum realm of vibrating energy that is highly responsive to how and what we think, feel, and visualize. Our thoughts create images in our minds that are forever trying to express themselves in our lives by constructing and attracting back to us what we see in our mind’s eye. That’s why when you are going about your day happy as can be and meet another mom in a park while watching your children play, it turns out that you instantly hit it off and feel as if you’re long-lost friends. Your paths met because you both were radiating similar vibrations of thought, which attracted you to the same path.

When driving a child to a park to play, however, you had to visualize the park before you even asked your child if he wanted to go to the park. Our thoughts create vivid images in our minds that inform our actions. It is through our thoughts, feelings, and emotions that the images on the screen of our minds come about. By focusing on what you want to manifest by implementing the Art of Visualization, it is like not being able to see well and then putting on glasses with a new prescription that allows you to see clearly. When you are not focused on what you want and when you do not have a clear vision in mind, it’s like trying to see through dirty glasses, which makes your desires unclear. No matter what, you are either going to manifest deliberately or manifest by default (which isn’t always pleasing).

When you manifest with intention using the power of visualization, you ignite a creative force of energy that enables you to clearly and purposefully create and manifest what you want. Using the Art of Visualization is simple, and yet the art has immense capabilities, especially when it comes to creating intentionally. Visualization is having a mental picture of something that you want and are fervent about attaining, such as meeting the man of your dreams, having better health, having a higher-paying job, buying a new car, buying your dream house, or having a loving marriage. It doesn’t matter what it is that you want to manifest, you can improve any aspect of your life purely by practicing the Art of Visualization daily—all you need to do is see in your mind’s eye exactly how you want your life to be, believe it, and then take inspired action to allow what you visualize to come to you. I love visualizing my goals and dreams; it evokes deep desire, energy, and eagerness for what I will achieve in the near future. It’s a euphoric feeling to dream big dreams, to see them clearly in my mind, and then to see them come to fruition. You can experience the same wondrous results by incorporating the Art of Visualizing in your life each day.

Professional Athletes Use Visualization Techniques

Did you know that many professional athletes also use the Art of Visualization to accomplish their goals and dreams? Many top athletes and Olympians employ creative visualization as an essential aspect of their daily training regimens. Countless professional athletes harness the power of the human mind to create their external realities and results, even beyond what they originally thought was possible to attain. They use visualization to be their own personal best and even to break records throughout their careers.

An athlete’s ability to envision his or her role in a certain environment and see the end result of being victorious stimulates the mind and body to be able to accomplish that which is visualized repeatedly with emotion. In swimming, an example of visualization would be a swimmer visualizing her body swimming effortlessly and speedily through the water to come in first in a swim meet. This process of visualization is common throughout the athletic world and the professional realm alike. By incorporating visualization into your personal life, you accelerate your ability to create and manifest deliberately.

Visualizing works best when you engage your five senses as you practice the Art of Visualization. Using all your senses creates powerful images and feelings within your mind and body, which supercharge your magnetic energy to become or attain what you visualize. By doing so, you are establishing a sense of truth in the subconscious mind that what you envision is indeed factual, which then allows the positive change to be attracted back to you much sooner than it would be otherwise. By creating mental pictures in detail, your subconscious mind will know exactly what you want. For example, if you wanted to buy a new diamond necklace, as you visualize having the necklace you would need to incorporate all five senses. You would begin by selecting the necklace you wanted and then visualize yourself putting it on, fastening the clasp, feeling the excitement of already owning it, hearing compliments from others as you wear it in public, tasting a delicious meal as you wear it out on a date, feeling it on your fingertips as you play with it on your neck, and smelling the roses outside as you go for a walk wearing it around your neck.

The more you feel what it will be like to own the necklace, the more powerful your energy of creation will be, and it will radiate powerfully from within you, attracting back to you your desire. Keep in mind that you don’t have to know how your desires will be realized; the how is up to God. You may have received a diamond necklace as a surprise gift from your boyfriend or husband or you may have received an unexpected check in the mail to purchase the necklace or it may go on sale to half price so you can buy it and still remain within budget. Your job is to merely focus on the “end result” as if you already owned the necklace and let the Universal powers, which God set forth, do the rest.

Even though visualizing is an awesome tool of creation, it’s not enough just to daydream and visualize life in splendor. If it were that easy, we would all be living our dreams. It takes a focused mind, a solid belief system, a positive mindset, and inspired action for visualization to work toward manifesting intentionally. If you really want to manifest your dreams then you must visualize what it is you want as if you were enjoying it now (keeping the end result in mind) and then take inspired action. Inspired action comes by trusting the divine guidance you receive in your heart and mind. It’s easy to second guess yourself, but if you come to learn to trust and act upon the inspiration that comes to you by listening and following the promptings in your heart, you will come to trust the promptings you receive.

If you feel impressed upon to do something and it feels right, then trust that it is right—and go for it! Don’t question it! You can’t manifest with ease if you don’t trust and follow the inspiration you receive. Your mind will naturally second guess itself if given the chance, so don’t allow it to do so. If it feels right, then follow the impulse to move forward and do what you feel impressed upon to do. By living in such a way, you will be living from your higher self continually, which will keep you in alignment with God’s will for you. Always remember that God wants what is best for you! He knows which path you need to take, which doors to go through, and when the timing is right—there’s always a time and place for everything. Trust in the creative process as you practice the Art of Visualization to create and manifest with less effort.

Practiced Visualization Daily

Visualization needs to be practiced repeatedly in order to have your desired outcome come to fruition. I teach my clients how to practice visualizing their dreams daily in detail to enable them to reach their goals and dreams sooner with less effort. Practicing the Art of Visualization doesn’t take long to do; all you need is ten to twenty minutes a day for some quiet time to visualize. You don’t have to stop your life to do it either; you can practice while you’re showering or putting your makeup on or when you lie in bed at night before you drift off to sleep. What matters is that you do it.

Just as visualizing what you want enables you to manifest your desires, it also works when you visualize what you don’t want in your life. Just as there are negative affirmations that are caused by thinking and talking about what you do not like or want in your life, there are also negative visualizations, which comes by constantly internalizing and visualizing what you do not like or what you’re worried about or afraid of.

Thinking of something that causes you emotional duress will have a negative impact on your psyche to the same degree that positive images will create positive effects. Negative images that continue to lash out in your mind will have the same powerful results, and they will manifest by default—no fun! So when you have unwanted past memories creeping up in back of your mind, replace them with thoughts that bring about positive images to overshadow the unwanted images in your mind. It will reaffirm to the subconscious mind what it is that you do want, which will then calm your mind and emotions, shifting you back into a higher energy of creation. Once you’re in a higher vibration, it is easier to get yourself back on track with the visualization of what you really want.

Daily visualization will also increase your imagination and creativity to inspire you to dream bigger dreams! There is nothing that you cannot be, do, or have. When you visualize yourself as though you have already achieved your dreams, your mind will shift from “lack of” to “it is so.” The subconscious mind will radiate signals that are needed to organize energies back to you to confirm your intentions. By focusing consistently on your goals with the creative powers of visualization, you will accomplish them much more quickly than if you didn’t focus on them at all. Being focused on your goals and affirmations by implementing visualization throughout the day will bring them to fruition.

Take a few minutes a day and visualize your life with the end result in mind. See yourself thriving as you are living your dreams. Visualize yourself as the woman you desire to be and see yourself exactly as you wish to be. See yourself having loving relationships, making new friends, driving your dream car, or living in your dream home. Visualize like-minded people showing up in your life to support and help you, and see yourself thanking them for their participation in your life. See yourself giving back and paying it forward as abundance flows effortlessly into your life. See yourself as the queen that you are, living joyfully, healthily, and vibrantly.

Visualizing daily will turn your “visions of you” into reality. If you are new to the concept of visualization, you may be surprised at just how quickly what you visualize becomes your reality. It is amazing how quickly your life will change for the better when you visualize with faith and know your visualizations will come true.

Think of visualization as being a mental rehearsal of the forthcoming experiences that will soon play out in the movie of your life. The images that play over and over in your mind are like a movie trailer of your life that magnetizes your most frequent visualizations to show up in your experience in the near or distant future. If you find that it’s difficult to visualize what you desire in your mind’s eye, then you can do following exercise to help you fine-tune your visualization skills. I have my clients do this exercise when they have difficulty visualizing; it always helps them be able to see pictures and images in their minds, and it doesn’t take long before they became successful at visualizing.

When you try to incorporate the Art of Visualizing in your life and seem to draw a “blank,” the exercise on the following page will help you awaken your visualization abilities. You can practice this simple exercise as often as needed until visualizing becomes easy to do.

Learning to Visualize Exercise

Choose an object, such as a flower, and look at it closely. Pick up the flower and look at it in detail. Notice the individual petals, feel the softness of the petals, smell its beautiful fragrance, and then set it down and get a vase out. Pour water into the vase and then place the flower in it and set in a location where you can admire its beauty from a distance.

Then close your eyes and see the object in your mind’s eye. See yourself doing the same things you just did over again in your mind’s eye. See yourself picking the flower up, and use all your senses to recreate the scene as you did before when you actually put the flower in the vase. Now hold that thought of the flower for a few moments…and voilà, you just practiced the art of visualization.

If by chance you can only visualize the object for a moment, open your eyes and study the flower again. Do this until you can hold the thought of the flower for a few minutes using all of your senses.

It’s important to use as much detail as you can when visualizing because it makes what you want crystal clear in your mind’s eye, and that clarity stimulates belief that what you think about is truly possible to attain. Seeing yourself as though you have already achieved your goals makes your mind believe that the visualization is real, which then produces that which you visualize.

Visualization Works!

I have used visualization with incredible success for many years to manifest my goals and dreams. I’ve used it in all aspects of my life, from transforming my physique to increasing my income to creating a barn in my backyard. I even used visualization techniques to purchase my dream horse, Apollo, an imported Ster Friesian stallion. I still use the Art of Visualization today, as I know the power of visualization to manifest my dreams.

I begin each day by visualizing my life as I desire it to be in great detail. I imagine my life as if I have already accomplished that which I desire to be or have. Each morning, at the break of dawn, as I awaken from a deep sleep, I start my day off with thankfulness in advance as I visualize how I want my day to be. I use all my senses as I visualize by putting my imagination into full motion, and I see my future life as a movie trailer in my mind. I always end my visualization meditation with love and thankfulness in advance, thanking the Lord for blessing me abundantly. And then I begin my day laser-focused on what it is I want to create and manifest. Then, at the end of the day, I visualize my goals and dreams once more as I drift off to sleep, which spurs my subconscious to work on ways to manifest the things I visualized while I sleep.

Every aspect of my life has improved since I began using the Art of Visualization as a tool to create and manifest my desires. Without fail, when I focus with real intent and visualize daily as I continue to give thanks to the Lord for guiding my way, my dreams come true. Sometimes what I visualize manifests quickly, while other times it takes a little while. And when something doesn’t work out as intended, or when it doesn’t turn out as I imagined, I just realize that it wasn’t meant to be and that something better is in store for me. I always find that when I think that way I really do receive something even better!

Years ago, when I was in the process of needing to buy a new vehicle for tax purposes, I asked my husband and brother what car I should buy. They both recommended a new SUV that was about to be released. I had never heard of it before. My husband and brother told me all the specs; it offered a luxurious interior and a hemi engine that had the towing capacity to pull my horses. My brother showed me pictures of it online; it was exactly what I was wanting. I loved the interior just as much as the exterior, and best of all, it had three rows of seats for my family and friends to sit comfortably.

Before making my final decision, I researched other SUVs and came to the conclusion that my sweetheart and brother were right on. The new SUV was the one for me! Once I made my mind up, I began visualizing several times a day exactly what I wanted my SUV to look like. I wanted a black, top-of-the-line edition with a tan leather interior. As I visualized it in my mind’s eye, I saw myself driving it. I smelled the new car, and I felt the soft leather seats. I pictured myself getting mint gum out of the cubby, and I imagined what the hemi sounded like when it pulled my horses. My visualizations felt so real that it was strange to come out of my meditative state to realize I didn’t yet have the car.

As I began my quest, I soon discovered that there wasn’t a single dealership in the state that had the exact vehicle that I wanted, but that didn’t stop me. I didn’t give up my quest because I knew that if I visualized it then I would indeed find one locally. The following day, a dealership salesman called me and said that the owner’s wife was driving a brand-new vehicle that was precisely what I was looking for, but that she was driving it back from out of state and wouldn’t be back home until the next day. I was thrilled and I gave thanks above for manifesting my dream so quickly.

After negotiating a remarkably low price, I agreed to purchase my dream vehicle, and the salesman agreed to bring it to me! I was beyond happy and excited—it was just as I envisioned it to be! The following day, the dealership salesman went the extra mile and had my soon-to-be SUV detailed from top to bottom before bringing it to me. And to top it off, they drove it to my home and pulled into my garage, and I signed the paperwork on my kitchen island! Talk about manifesting even beyond my dreams! Within less than two weeks of visualizing my dream SUV in detail, it was mine.

I know firsthand that practicing the Art of Visualization works! I couldn’t imagine trying to accomplish or manifest something intentionally without using the power of my mind to visualize clearly that which I want to achieve. You can also create your dreams by incorporating visualization techniques in your daily life by actively visualizing what you want and believing that which is meant to be will be! The more you visualize events and objects as if you already have them and the more you believe in your innate ability to create on purpose as you co-create your life with God, the sooner you will relish in manifesting your desires abundantly.

To assist you in achieving your goals, do the visualization exercise on the following page to learn how to see your desires in your mind’s eye clearly. Be sure to be thankful and enjoy the process each step of the way.

Goal-Achieving Visualization Exercise

Find a quiet space in your home or office where you will be undisturbed. Find a comfortable spot on the floor (or you can lie down). Sit up straight, legs folded, and hands stretched out and relaxed on each leg. Then take a few deep, cleansing breaths and release the worries of the day. Focus on your body; release any tension in each muscle group. Once you have completed this relaxation, you are prepared to practice the Art of Visualization.

To fully maximize the Art of Visualization, it’s best to be happy. To help you become happier and shift your energy into a higher frequency, recall a time when you were thrilled beyond expression. Remember every moment of that experience. Now, replace the memory with your goals and dreams while keeping the enthusiasm and zest in your heart. This is the energy you will need to fully create your heart’s desire.

When visualizing, see yourself as though you have already achieved your goals. Use all five senses. Feel the sensations with intention and joy, and believe that you are worthy to attain all that your heart desires. This method is very powerful because this is the way you already see and experience everything you have created in your life.

Make visualization enjoyable! Use your imagination as a child does. Think as a child imagines—without limitations. Using your imagination will allow your subconscious mind to open and receive more clearly, thus it will begin to create that which you long for.

The more real your images are in your mind, the better visualization works. Bring the images alive! Make the image not just a still picture but a full-length movie starring you as the main character! Replay your movie over and over, seeing yourself as a great hero achieving success of every kind. Create a beautiful background, play music, smell the aroma in the air, feel the warmth of the sun if you’re outside—make the visualization feel as real as possible. Have a ball creating your dream world! This is how you want to see your visions—with vibrant color, smells, sounds, feelings, and flavors.

When you close your eyes and visualize your dreams, feel the joy and excitement that you will have once you attain your goals. Then give thanks to God for assisting you in creating your dreams. With constant practice, your daily visualizations will soon become your reality.

As you concentrate on visualizing your dreams, be sure to have an attitude of gratitude and love in your heart. Having an attitude of gratitude will raise your vibration and increase your frequency, which ultimately attracts what you visualize back to you. The Art of Visualization is a powerful tool to help enable you to live joyfully and abundantly.

Chapter 20

The Magic of Reality Boards

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

~ Gail Devers

With all the buzz about the Law of Attraction, you may be familiar with the term or idea of a vision board—or what I like to refer to as a Reality Board. A Reality Board is a dream maker of sorts. It’s a visual aid to help you stay motivated and laser-focused on what you want to manifest in your life. It evokes self-reflection and a desire to contemplate what it is you really want in your life in detail. It’s somewhat like having your own personal “genie” to help you manifest that which your heart desires.

A Reality Board is an awesome manifesting tool, and it consists of a collage of images and sayings that represent your personal goals and dreams. These images and sayings are placed or glued onto a whiteboard, corkboard, or poster board and represent the things that you would like to manifest in your life. The collage of pictures and sayings represents what you aspire to be, do, or have. It’s a powerful tool that stimulates you to dream big dreams and to take inspired action, which is necessary to manifest on purpose.

I’m a huge fan of Reality Boards; I’ve used them for years with extraordinary success. I’ve used them for personal achievements as well as for my family’s dreams. The term Reality Board came about one evening as my children and I were gathered around our kitchen island in the process of making a vision board. We enthusiastically shared our hopes and dreams with each other as if we were already living our dreams. We had music playing and had treats on the table in front of us as we went about making our vision board. We laughed and enjoyed one another’s company as we searched the Internet and printed off images that best fit our dreams. As we cut out the images to fit nicely on our board, we set our intentions upon what we wanted to manifest clearly by expressing our desires to each other. We were having the time of our lives declaring what we were going to manifest in our lives!

As my oldest son and I were busy creating our vision board, my daughter came in and asked if we were making a vision board, and my son quickly replied with a sparkle in his eyes and a great big smile on his face, “Nope, we’re making our Reality Board!” I was in awe with his answer; he was right on! We were making a Reality Board! I loved it and instantly shifted my thinking from a vision board to a Reality Board! He had no question or resistance in his mind that what we were putting on our board would—without a doubt—come to fruition. I exclaimed with excitement, “Yes we are! We are making our reality!” I chuckled with delight and exclaimed, “I love it!”

The fact that my son knew without second-guessing himself that we literally could create and manifest what we were putting on our Reality Board warmed my heart deeply. I was beaming as his mother as I watched him clearly state with enthusiasm that we can deliberately create our future with the power of intention. He got it! He understood the power of his mind and the gift of creation that God blessed him with. The fact that he had called it a Reality Board was so much more commanding in energy that from that moment on I no longer referred to it as a vision board but rather a Reality Board. A vision board could always be a vision in your subconscious mind, much like wishful thinking. However, stating your desires as reality gives your board a whole new creative energy vibration.

I have created several Reality Boards focused on topics from health and fitness to building my business and manifesting more prosperity. You can make a Reality Board for each topic you desire to manifest or combine the various topics together, making one big collage. I always have a Reality Board in my bedroom where I can see it night and day. One of my dear friends always tells me that she doesn’t know anyone who can manifest as quickly as I do. She comments often on how much I manifest what I set my mind to it. Using a Reality Board has been one of the most beneficial visual tools I’ve ever used. It is a remarkable visual aid that I can look at each day with love, enthusiasm, and thankfulness in my heart as my energy vibration radiates from me to attract what I am focused upon.

I’m happy to say that virtually everything that I manifest often turns out much better than I had originally imagined or anticipated. Without missing the mark, what I set my mind to and visualize daily becomes my reality in one form or another. And if by chance something doesn’t come to fruition, I don’t think, “This doesn’t work,” I simply know that there is something even more spectacular in store for me and let it go.

How to Begin Making a Reality Board

You may be thinking, “Okay, I’m all jazzed about making my own Reality Board. How do I begin?” Although it’s exciting to make a Reality Board, it may seem a bit overwhelming to even contemplate making one. Many of my clients put off making their Reality Board for weeks or even months because they don’t take the time to begin the creative process correctly. Creating a Reality Board is much more than just wishful thinking. You’re not just pasting your goals and dreams onto a poster board and hoping your dreams will come true. It’s about believing in yourself and in your ability to manifest your dreams intentionally.

It’s about feeling and believing that you are worthy and deserving to live a higher quality of life. It’s about honoring your desires to allow yourself to dream. It’s about putting your trust in God, knowing that He will orchestrate the Law of Attraction to enable your dreams to come true. It’s about knowing that what you post on your Reality Board really can and will come true. Once you create your Reality Board, then you need stop trying to figure out how it will come to be (that is resistance and will keep you from attracting what you want to manifest). Just trust in your creative powers and let it be. In other words, you must practice the Art of Allowing (see Chapter 21) and trust in God’s timing.

As you begin constructing your awesome Reality Board, choose to be a deliberate creator by letting go of self-doubts and fears that only limit you from receiving that which you desire. Embrace your higher self, which is God’s light and energy that flows through you. Open your heart and mind to unveil the wondrous path before you in order to receive that which you put on your Reality Board. Embrace your heart’s desires as you come to feel the security of knowing that your Divine Birthright was created and is waiting for just for you!

As you go about your day, think about what you desire to manifest. Your thoughts pulse vibrations all day long, so if you want to truly manifest what you have on your Reality Board, then focus on what it is you want with a smile on your face. And remember, in order to manifest, you must be in vibrational alignment with what it is you want to come to fruition. To be in vibrational alignment with what you want to manifest, all you need to do is to feel good. Make it a conscious effort to be positive, happy, thankful, and content. Be hopeful and have faith that you can and will manifest your dreams. When you feel good, you are in a vibration of creation, which is the energy of abundance.

When you’re in a great mood, that’s when you should begin to create your Reality Board. When my family created our Reality Board, we were all in really good humor as we worked on the project together. Focus your energy on what you want to manifest with gladness in your heart, and then begin making your Reality Board. This will put energy into motion right from the start. That is why a Reality Board is so powerful for manifesting your dreams; it stimulates the creative energy in your mind, which becomes your beliefs and then shows up in your physical reality.

The End Result

Creating a Reality Board is the end result of fine-tuning precisely what it is you want to manifest in your life. You can’t create a Reality Board unless you take the time to clearly comprehend and realize what it is you actually want. There isn’t any right or wrong way to create a Reality Board—you can put focus on any aspect of your life you desire to improve, such as being happily married, having a healthier body, or having more money and abundance. The ultimate objective of creating a Reality Board is to inspire you to become crystal clear as to what it is you want to manifest in your life. Remember, thoughts become things. So the more you know with certainty, the sooner and easier it will be to make your dreams come to fruition. Keep in mind that if you can dream it, you can achieve it, so dream big!

After you make your Reality Board, use it daily as a magnetizing manifestation tool. (I will teach you how to create one in just a moment.) Recall that the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is not, so the more you look at your Reality Board and give thanks to God in advance for achieving or attaining your dreams, the more your mind will believe what you see is actually real, which then radiates powerful vibrations attracting your desires back to you. It works in such a way because you are a creator; you are deity in physical form, and you were meant to create and manifest your life intentionally.

Dreams Really Do Come True

One of my most memorable experiences with using a Reality Board was when I manifested one of my ultimate dreams—my dream horse. I used a Reality Board to help manifest my magnificent Friesian stallion, Apollo. Before Apollo became part of my family, I already had a beautiful Friesian gelding (which I also used a Reality Board to manifest) named Xander, whom I loved dearly. He was jet black, as Friesians are, and beautiful. He had a nice, wavy mane, but it wasn’t as long as I wanted it to be. (Friesians are known for their luxurious, long, flowing manes.) So I decided to put a picture of a Friesian with mega hair on my Reality Board. I found a photo of a beautiful Friesian online that had a long flowing mane down to its knee; it was perfect and was what I had envisioned my Friesian’s mane to be like. I printed it off and posted it on my Reality Board. Each day I would look at my board and visualize myself riding Xander with his “long, flowing” mane blowing against me in the wind as we cantered along.

Previously, before I put the photo of the Friesians with the luxurious hair on my Reality Board, I was teaching horseback riding lessons to a very sweet lady named Michele. It didn’t take long before we became dear friends. She was head-over-heels in love with Xander, and so I taught her riding lessons on him. As I trained her, I could see a deep bond developing between the two of them, and I thought, “They were made for each other,” but I didn’t think twice about it and would just carry on with what I was doing.

Then a few months later, when I began having thoughts of owning a majestic Friesian stallion, it was as if a firework went off inside my heart when I focused on having a stallion. I soon became enchanted with the idea and would see myself on a massive stallion with his long flowing mane blowing in the wind when I rode Xander. I had no doubt that I would have a stallion someday; it was just a matter of time. I thought that once my book was written and my career took off even more, then we would sell our home and barn and buy some horse property with a larger barn for my future stallion and for my other horses, one of which is a mare (a female horse). I had zero doubt that I would have a grand Friesian stallion—it was just a matter of when!

I then began inquiring with other stallion owners what it was like to own a stallion, and I even asked on Friesian forums. But then I would set the thought of owning a stallion aside as I questioned the timing, and I wondered why I was even talking about it when I thought I couldn’t manifest having a stallion until I had more land. But needless to say, pushing it aside didn’t last long; once I had the “stallion bug,” I couldn’t stop thinking about owning such a majestic horse—and I couldn’t stop talking about it either. I began telling my family and closest friends that I was going to buy a Friesian stallion and that I was going to get into breeding. I could see him, feel him, touch him, and hear him clearly in my mind’s eye. I knew I would have a stallion…someday.

During that time period, I went to my parents’ home to visit my loving mother and father, and lo and behold, my father began talking about one of his good friends who has stallions that he breeds, and he mentioned how much money he had made from breeding one of his prized stallions. I enthusiastically stated that I was going to buy a Friesian stallion and get into breeding too. My mother looked at me with an “oh-no” look on her face, shaking her head with a smile, and I chuckled and asked, “Mom, do you believe me?” And her reply was, “Oh yes, Carol, I do believe you. Anything you put your mind to, you get!” She made me laugh—she knows me all too well. As I drove home, I daydreamed about how awesome it would be to have a stallion. Again, I knew I would have one without a doubt. Each morning I would look at my Reality Board and would focus on the photo of the Friesian with love, excitement, and thankfulness. I expressed my gratefulness and appreciation to God for the blessings and synchronicity I received each day, and I would visualize myself owning a breathtaking Friesian stallion.

Well, about a month or so after I began visualizing owning my dream stallion, I was in my kitchen and received a prompting from the Spirit that said, “Call Michele and see if she wants to buy Xander.” I was shocked! I literally exclaimed out loud, “No!” with a chuckle as I pushed the phone that was on the table in front of me away. The prompting came a second time, and this time it was stronger. I couldn’t ignore it, as I knew it was from God, so I said, “Okay …” and I picked up the phone and called her. Well, to my surprise, when I asked Michele if she wanted to buy Xander, she began to cry and said, “Yes!” I was in shock! I had just sold my horse without another horse in mind to buy. But I knew that I had been divinely guided and had to heed the promptings of the Spirit.

After our call, I felt impressed upon to search for a stallion. I was in awe at the timing; I thought I would have to wait to buy a stallion. Needless to say I was so excited! As I told my sweet husband of my experiences, he said, “It sounds like the Lord has a stallion in store for you.” I was ecstatic! I knew it was all meant to be!

Then shortly after I began my search for my dream stallion, I looked closer at my Reality Board, and guess what? The stunning photo of the Friesian with the long flowing mane that I had put on my Reality Board was a stallion! Before long, I was led to Apollo’s ad online and knew that he was the stallion of my dreams—my equine soul mate! In less than two months, Apollo was home in my barn! He and I instantly bonded when we saw each other for the first time; it was if our spirits said to each other, “There you are! Where have you been?” Our bond was so deep from day one that he followed me around like a puppy dog as he could sense my love and energy as clearly as I could sense his. He’s now a cherished member of our family and brings joy to his fans and to those who breed their mares to him. He is literally a treasured gift from above! (To see pictures of Apollo, visit my stables’ website: Royal Grove Stables.) Often what you put on your Reality Board turns out even better than you imagined. It turned out that Apollo is much more than I had envisioned my dream stallion to be; he not only has the long, flowing mane that I wished for, but he is a complete gentleman (even around mares). He has an incredible pedigree too—he is a grand champion, a Ster stallion (Ster is an honorable status given by The Koninklijke Vereniging Het Friesch Paarden-Stamboek—a Dutch Friesian Horse Association), and is also a Provisionally Approved stallion with two different Friesian registries! In addition to having a personality the size of Texas, he has movie star looks—he is absolutely breathtaking! It turns out that he looks very much like the stallion on my Reality Board, but he’s even more spectacular! And best of all, he is my eternal equine companion—he was created just for me! He literally is a dream come true! My dream came to fruition all because I put a picture of a Friesian stallion of my Reality Board! And yours can too! How awesome is that?

How Reality Boards Work

Before you can begin creating a Reality Board, you must know what it is you want to manifest in descriptive detail, much like placing an order from a catalog over the phone. If you don’t really know what it is you want, then you are not quite ready to create a Reality Board. If you aren’t sure what you want, then take time to think about what it is you want to have in your life. And then, once you have an idea of what you want, go a bit further and think about it in detail. If you wanted to order a new blouse, you wouldn’t tell the sales representative, “I would like a new blouse.” You would tell her precisely what style, color, and size you would like. Do the same when you decide what it is you really want to manifest by selecting images and sayings that represent what you envision.

To help you figure out what it is you want to manifest and to organize your thoughts, make a list of the areas in your life that you want to improve at the top of a piece of paper and then write down specifically what you would like to manifest under each column. There are several areas in life that are the most common topics to create dreams around, for example: love, happiness, money, health, fitness, service, leisure, confidence, and employment. Just follow your heart as you go about creating your list of what you want to manifest in your life and then start collecting images and sayings that you like.

Once you establish what it is you want, you can begin collecting images that best illustrate what you want to manifest. Place them in a folder to keep them organized. You can search the Internet and/or use magazines to find images that resonate with you. Just print off and cut out the images that touch your heart or bring you a sense of excitement. As you do you, keep in mind that you need to believe that you deserve to receive that which you set out to create on your Reality Board.

Create your Reality Board when you are in the vibration of creation—when you are cheerful and eager about life. A Reality Board won’t do you any good if you are filled with doubt, sadness, or fear. It will just be a simple collage of pictures. If you have doubt or believe that only the “lucky ones” get what they want, then you have some emotional clearing to do before you begin creating your Reality Board. Once you believe that you are worthy to receive, begin to dream, and don’t limit your dreams—dream big! Think about what you would love to have in all areas of your life. Think about everything and anything you want to create and see yourself living your dreams.

Keep your dreams close to your heart. Don’t let others rain on your parade. Negative people will only express their limiting beliefs, making you feel confused and doubtful about being able to attain your dreams, and you don’t need that. Only share your hopes and dreams with those people who love and support you in all that you do. And remember, anything your heart longs for is right for you. Don’t let others tell you what you can and cannot do—they’re only expressing how they feel about themselves. As you go about creating your Reality Board, stay positive and have an attitude of gratitude. The more positive you are, the easier it will be for your heart to lead you to that which will bring you joy, making your Reality Board experience that much more exciting and fun!

Once you have collected the images for your board, decide what material you want to use. You can select any flat surface—a corkboard, poster paper, or a magnetic board—to create your collage of desires. Once you have the board, get to work right away to keep the momentum of your dreams going. It’s easy to be all gung-ho in the beginning. When it comes down to taking the time to actually create the board, though, it can easily get put on the sidelines of your life, which is like burying your treasures in the sand.

You may be thinking, “This is all fine and dandy, but how do Reality Boards work?” How they work is through the images and words that you place on your Reality Board. Each image spurs powerful energy vibrations from you when you study it daily with enthusiasm. These vibrations give off powerful signals to your subconscious mind, solidifying the idea that what you see is meant to be. The images become impressed upon the subconscious mind, which then becomes your invisible reality. The subconscious mind sees the images in your invisible reality as something that must become your experience, which evokes action from the mind. The mind then begins to work constantly, sending signals of what is to be to manifest into your physical reality.

Having a Reality Board will help you stay laser-focused on your goals and dreams each time you look at it, and it will help you achieve that which you set out to do. It will supercharge your intentions and desires by being a tangible reminder of everything that you want, which opens the way for the Spirit to lead and guide you to manifest your dreams. Your subconscious doesn’t know that what’s on your Reality Board is not real, so it sends out powerful vibrations into the Universe that attract what you desire. Using a Reality Board is powerful tool in addition to setting goals and doing visualization techniques.

Putting It All Together

Creating a Reality Board is simple, and it will only take about an hour or so to do once you’ve collected the images and sayings that you want on your board. With all my Reality Boards, I always put the most important pictures in the center of my board—a photo of Christ and a photo of my family. If you center your goals and dreams on God, Christ, and your family or yourself then you will have a firm foundation on which to build your dreams upon, just as it says in Matthew 19:26, “With God all things are possible.”

As I previously mentioned, when you create your Reality Board, make sure you are in a really good, happy-go-lucky mood—it’s the fuel to skyrocket your desires. Enjoy yourself as you go about cutting out photos and pasting away! This will increase your energy vibration so you are in a vibration of creation, which is necessary to create your dreams. Make it a party! Play upbeat music, make some air-popped corn, and invite your family to join you in making one too. By including your family in the creative process, you will send out even stronger vibrations of creation to manifest that which you all desire. It’s a lot more fun to share your hopes and dreams as a family, and then soon your family will come to believe that dreams really do come true!

Once you create your Reality Board, be sure to place it where you can see it throughout the day, such as in your bedroom, office, or kitchen. I put mine on my bedroom dresser so I see it each time I walk in and out of my room. Make it a point to look for a few minutes and visualize your life using your five senses—see yourself living your dreams. Then, throughout the day, be sure to look at it each time you pass it. And when you go to sleep at night, visualize your life as though you were already living what you put on your Reality Board. Before long you will experience the magic of living what you placed on your Reality Board—just as I did with my beloved Friesian stallion, Apollo.

Now that you know how to begin and how it works, and you know what it is you want to manifest, you are ready to create your own Reality Board and put it all together. Below are five simple steps to create an awesome Reality Board. Keep in mind that in order for your Reality Board to work you must believe that what you put on it can and will come true! You are the only one who has the power to create and manifest your dreams as you co-create your life with God. Leave self-doubt behind and use the power of your imagination as a child does to see your dreams coming to reality as you paste or tape away. It really is lots of fun. Keep in mind, the more positive energy you have when you create it, the more powerful it will be.

Steps to Create a Reality Board

Decide What You Want in Detail. Know exactly what you want to have and achieve. Be as specific as possible, just like I was with my Friesian stallion, Apollo. You can select images representing all the aspects of your life that you wish to improve. Choose images and pictures from the Internet and from magazines, looking for what best matches the visions in your mind that you desire to manifest.

Choose a Background. Choose a white board, poster board, or cork board. You can use any shape, color, or size. You can paint it or glue fabric to it too, if you’d like. Let your imagination run wild when creating it. Buy fun magnets if you buy a white board or fun pins if you use a cork board.

God & Family First. As with all creation, having God, Christ, and family first in your life is essential. Find your favorite pictures of God and your family. Then place the images in the center of your board; this indicates that the keystones of your intentions are centered on faith and family, which are the bases to having a joyful life. Demonstrating your faith in Him on your board burns into your subconscious mind that you are indeed co-creating your life with Him—the most powerful form of energy and creation of all. Then place a photo of yourself or your family next to the image of Christ. By placing Christ and family first in your life, you will be in the higher vibration of love and creation, which commands energy that will manifest your dreams sooner with less effort.

Represent All Areas of Life You Wish to Improve. Next, place photos around your center images that represent what you want to manifest in all the areas of your life you wish to improve. You can have the various sections on your board such as love, money and health or you can mix and match them. Do whatever feels best. Next, add powerful affirmations or sayings that signify what you desire as if you had already manifested it. Always write your affirmations in the present tense and in the affirmative.

Place it Where You Can See It. Place your Reality Board where you can see it morning and night. It won’t do you any good if you only see it now and then. Set five minutes aside twice a day to look at it and visualize your life as if you were already living your dreams. End by giving thanks and believing that what you dream about will come about.

That’s it! It’s very easy to do. Then once you manifest the things on your Reality Board, you can replace the images with new images of what you want to manifest next, or you can keep it for fun to look back on and make a new one.

As you continue to reach new heights in your progression and expansion, know that your desires for self-improvement will never cease. You are an eternal being, and you will always have new aspirations and dreams to set your intentions upon. This really makes it all the more delightful to continue to create Reality Boards to assist you in creating and living your dreams.

Chapter 21

The Art of Allowing

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

~ Golda Meir

The Art of Allowing is the end result of the creative process. It’s what enables us to create what we want in our lives intentionally, with less effort and more ease. Allowing isn’t always as simple as it sounds. It doesn’t take much effort to want something and to ask for it, but allowing is often an entirely different story. Allowing requires faith, because you need to have faith that what you want will come to fruition; it requires patience, because you need to abide patiently as it takes time to manifest; and belief, because you need to believe that what you desire really can come true. Each aspect of the creative process is necessary to allow what you want to come to you. By having faith, patience, and belief, you will have peace of mind as you allow the energy to attract back to you that which you desire.

The Art of Allowing is just that—an art. You can dream, you can ask, and you can hope all day long, but if you fail to believe that you can receive, then your hopes and dreams will remain just that, hopes and dreams. You may be thinking, “Okay, but how do I allow?” You allow with your inner belief system. Recall that your beliefs create your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Your thoughts have energy and vibrations just like what you want has energy and vibrations; therefore, what you want to manifest must be in harmony with your vibration—specifically, your expectations have to match in frequency. It’s how you feel about allowing yourself to receive that either attracts what you want or keeps it from you.

If you set your intention to make more money, for instance, and then fret about money on a daily basis, then your dominate vibration is that of “not enough,” which is resistance to having more money. And as a result, your vibration would block money from coming to you. When you simply say, “I need more money,” and then focus on the absence of it, your dominate vibration is deprivation. It isn’t in alignment with your desire for attracting more money, which makes your statement just wishful thinking rather than intentional. It’s much more powerful to be in a mindset of abundance by having appreciation for money.

You can shift your beliefs about money simply by adjusting what you say and feel about money. Rather than focus on the lack of money, give your attention on attracting more to you and declare, “I am happy and thankful that money comes to me continually. I attract money easily! Money flows to me in great abundance on a daily basis!” or “I am thankful for the money I have.” These kinds of statements have constructive energy, and they will make you feel good about the money you do have, which will unblock your energy to attract more money to you. Can you see the difference? Can you sense the difference in the energy of the two scenarios? The later statement has a higher, feel-good energy to it, even though both are about the topic of money.

Allowing is a Mindset

The Art of Allowing is a state of mind; it is believing and knowing that what you desire can be yours. It is also an emotional journey. Recall that positive emotions are like fuel that skyrockets your desires. If you feel awful about yourself, then no matter how much you try to think about what you want to have, your dominate vibration will be that of negativity, which blocks what you want from coming to you. When you are in an alignment with your core desires, it feels good; you feel more contentment, happiness, and bliss, even when everything isn’t as you wish it to be. You know when you are in a state of allowing when you feel good. When you feel out of sorts, that’s your body expressing resistance to that which is wanted. Resistance is what keeps you from attracting your desires, and you know when you have resistance by how you feel. When you feel anxious, worried, scared, stressed out, fearful, or depressed, those are feelings of resistance.

Paying attention to how you feel on a daily basis will help you create new habits and beliefs to enable the Art of Allowing in your life. When you doubt or worry about what’s going to happen, take a deep breath and trust in yourself and in God’s timing and realize that if your desires are meant to be that they will be. Let go of trying to figure out how to manifest your dreams. That is negative, fear-based, controlling energy, which will block you from allowing yourself to receive. Trust that you will be guided toward the necessary actions to attain your dreams. When you are able to trust in that which is meant to be, you will tap into the immense power of the Art of Allowing.

Accept Others as They Are

Allowing also includes accepting the people and circumstances in your life to be as they are. Allowing goes so much deeper than just merely wanting what you want to come to you. You need to allow those around you to be “themselves” to be in harmony with the Art of Allowing. When you try to control another person, you are simply expressing the lack of confidence and control you feel within, which is resistance. You have to let them be themselves as they are without trying to control or change them. When you let go of trying to control others, you are in a state of allowing.

If you are one of those people who has a tendency to try to control everyone around you, then you are far from allowing. Every aspect of you needs to let go of the urge to control or manipulate a situation or others around you. Controlling is a low vibration that does not serve you; it is a sign of weakness and is not in alignment with your higher self or with God. When you are in a controlling or manipulating mood, you are limiting your higher self’s ability to lead you and are ultimately living only from your mortal mind, and this keeps you from being content and happy—in other words, from being in harmony with allowing. If you tend to be a control freak, let go of the urge and stop trying to manipulate circumstances to make something happen or trying to control how your loved ones and friends should act or be.

Anytime you find yourself “controlling,” know that you have prevented yourself from allowing. At times, letting go of the control factor may seem somewhat challenging, but it’s incredibly important and necessary to be in a state of allowing. Allowing is going with the flow of your life and following your heart; it’s loving life to the fullest, appreciating the little things in life, and living in the moment blissfully.

Create New Positive Thought Patterns

When I first learned about the Art of Allowing, I was in shock at how often I caught myself thinking negative, undeserving thoughts and how much I was always trying to control my surroundings. It wasn’t until I recognized my own limiting thought patterns that I was able to let them go and create new positive thought patterns of creation, which allowed me to allow and receive. Once I grasped the concept of allowing and made a decision to do my best to let go of my negative habits and thoughts, my world began to change and I began attracting my intentions.

As a result, I became passionate about setting and attaining goals. It was highly rewarding to set my intention by asking and then following up with faith, belief, trust, and patience. It was awesome to then sit back and feel the Spirit direct my paths and inspire me to take action to manifest that which I set forth to do. As I incorporated the Art of Allowing in my life, I became happier and more optimistic. I also noticed that I had a newfound sense of my higher self, and I felt more contentment and peace in addition to having a deeper sense of well-being. I had an attitude of gratitude that increased as I noticed the hand of God more fully in my life. I embraced that which I wanted by allowing and began manifesting like crazy!

I was able to fully experience the Art of Allowing in all areas of my life because I was in alignment with my truth within. Being in harmony with your higher self is essential as it connects you to the Art of Allowing. If you are not at peace with who you are, then you will not be at peace with creating, nor will you be in alignment with allowing. When you are happy, you are in alignment with that which you are: pure positive energy that is in harmony with the vibration of allowing.

Your Internal Guidance System

As mentioned before, your feelings are your internal guidance system letting you know how you are vibrating. Remember, when you are happy, content, and joyful, you are vibrating at a high-energy frequency, and when you are sad, miserable, or upset, you are in a low-energy vibration. Feeling negative is your “red light” to stop what you are thinking about and to think positive, happy thoughts, which will redirect your energy to be in vibrational alignment with what you want.

Just as children create beliefs from what their parents tell them repeatedly, you do the same with your habitual thoughts and feelings—they become a part of your belief system and show up in your reality. What you think about most and how you feel is your indicator of where you are and where you are going.

To incorporate the Art of Allowing, you need to tune into the essence of what you want by being in tune with your inner self. Your feelings send out strong signals requesting the Universe to organize that which you are focused upon, so if you want to manifest intentionally then you need to be in alignment with that which you want. The Art of Allowing becomes a part of your being when you are in alignment with your higher self and are in tune with the essence of what you want.

Balancing Your Vibrational Tone

Always remember who you really are—you are a spiritual being—you were born to create your life intentionally as a co-creator with God. Innately you are more electrical in essence than you are physical. Often we forget just how powerful we are as we get caught up in the busyness of our lives, and we let life dictate what we manifest by default rather than manifesting deliberately. When you stop and step out of the “rat race” of life, you will be able to refocus your attention on what really matters: being happy. Happiness truly is the key to manifesting. How you feel and your beliefs about yourself should be of utmost important in your life if you wish to be a deliberate creator. When you are sad or frustrated, you are sending off low vibrational frequencies that do not match the high frequencies of love, joy, peace, happiness, abundance, and prosperity.

Your nonphysical self is where your creative power lies, and this self is what enables you to align vibrationally with that which you desire. You knew before you came to Earth that everything is about vibration, which is what makes it possible to create with intention. Being in alignment with your heart’s desires requires that you balance your natural vibrational tone with the reality you are supposed to be living. This vibrational balance is accomplished through what you think and say and do, which is an expression of how you feel. When you ask for that which you desire, you send vibrations out into a vibrational Universe, which matches the frequency of vibration, either wanted or unwanted. In other words, what you think and what you get back is always a vibrational match.

When you are in harmony with your higher self, you are in alignment with the Godly powers within you. Being in vibrational harmony with your higher self and believing in your innate abilities enable you to manifest whatever it is your heart desires, whether it is being in a loving relationship, having a happier marriage, making more money, having a better job, or a wider circle of friends. You name it, if you are in vibrational alignment with it, you will have more of it in your life.

You may be asking, “But how do I know if I’m in alignment?” You know by the way you feel. When you are in alignment, it feels tranquil, content, blissful, exciting, joyful, happy, pleasant, delightful, enthusiastic, and exhilarating—essentially, it feels good. The Art of Allowing cannot be active in your life if you are filled with negative energy toward yourself, toward your circumstances, or toward others, all of which is resistance that will keep your desires from manifesting.

You may not realize it, but you practiced the Art of Allowing without even acknowledging it by thinking about what you want, feeling what it would be like to have it, and then not giving it a second thought. Your thoughts sent out vibrations; visualizing it created the feelings and emotions of already having it, and your nonresistance allowed it to manifest. It’s like placing an order over the phone for a new pair of shoes. When you call your favorite online shoe store to place an order, you simply ask for your order to be created. You then thank the representative who helped you, and then you don’t fuss or stress about whether the shoes will come or not. You simply know they will be delivered to you. When you know what you want by asking and then trust in God’s timing by believing, you are living the Art of Allowing, which enables you to receive that which you desire. It really is that simple.

Ask yourself, “How do I really feel about allowing?” Do you believe you can accomplish or attain anything you set your mind to? If not, then you will have a difficult time creating and manifesting deliberately. Having limiting beliefs, such as, “I can’t” or “It’s impossible,” will impede you from allowing yourself to manifest your heart’s desires because you won’t be in vibrational alignment with what you want. You can ask God over and over for your dreams to come true, but they won’t be able to show up if you are blocking them with your negative energy of thought. Bear in mind—if you have negative thoughts and beliefs about not feeling worthy or good enough to allow that which you want to materialize, then you will continue to be frustrated with your current set of circumstances, which will validate your feelings of not being good enough (which is a false belief).

You Radiate Energy Vibration

What you believe radiates energy vibrations from you all day, every day in all aspects of your life. From love to money, your beliefs are sending out energy vibrations attracting matching vibrational experiences to you. Case in point, how you feel about money creates a powerful vibration that radiates from you daily. We all need money to survive, and yet so many of us have an unhealthy relationship with money as a result of our beliefs about money. You may have been raised to believe that money is hard to come by, that you can’t afford this or that, or that only the lucky ones make a lot of money. Thoughts such as these are limiting beliefs. If you’ve failed to make your financial dreams come true in the past, it’s only because your beliefs about money do not match your wanting more money. You can wish for more money until you turn blue in the face, but if you are constantly complaining about not having enough then you will continue to struggle with making more money.

You must believe with all your heart that what you want is undoubtedly possible to achieve. Without believing that your desires will manifest, the paradigms in your subconscious mind will give off limiting vibrations rather than powerful, positive vibrations. What you feel most strongly about is your dominate vibration, so if you are always worried about not having enough of anything you set your focus on, then you will constantly attract less than you desire. Your dominate vibration is what you feel most worried or passionate about; it is like a bull’s-eye marker for matching vibrational experiences. In a nutshell, your belief system always matches your reality—in all aspects of your life. So to allow more of what you want to come into your life, you must first create new beliefs about your ability to create. If you are looking to allow an increase in your income, rather than saying, “We never have enough money,” replace that limiting belief by saying, “I can afford that, I just choose not to buy it right now.” Can you feel the difference in energy from saying “We can’t afford it” to “I can afford it”? It’s what we say in everyday conversations that we don’t even think about. Saying you can’t afford something is stating loud and clear to the universe to give you more reasons why you can’t afford what you desire. Remember, God created the world and everything in it for us to flourish and thrive in, including having more of what your heart desires—but you have to be in alignment with it to receive it.

When you are not in alignment with the essence of your desires, you will feel static energy, which is resistance. Releasing resistance or the static energy isn’t difficult to do; it’s accomplished by shifting from negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions to positive thoughts, feelings, and emotions that support your desires. By connecting with the energy of what you want and believing you are worthy, you will be able to receive through divine guidance and blessings. Release your untrue beliefs once and for all to align yourself with your desires and allow the wondrous world to unfold beautifully before you. The Art of Allowing becomes a part of your being when you are in alignment with your higher self and you are in tune with the essence of what you want. Soon it will be a natural state of being if you truly focus on your infinite abilities to achieve your dreams.

Being in your creative power comes from living in the now. Your power to create is right now, not yesterday or tomorrow, but now. Being in alignment with your desires comes by living in the moment and thinking positive thoughts. If you’re trapped in having ongoing thoughts that bring about disharmony within, such as worrying about what happened to you years ago or what’s going to happen in the future, you will be out of sync with your higher self, which will keep you stuck where you are. It does you no good to focus on what might have been or to worry about tomorrow; rather than allowing yourself to be all over the map vibrationally, dial in and focus on what you want by focusing on the now.

Believe in yourself to shift your paradigm and to allow yourself to receive. Believe that you are good enough and that you are worthy to receive anything you set your mind to. By being in vibrational harmony to that which you desire, it doesn’t matter how big or small your desires are, you can manifest them—if you can think it and believe it, you can allow it and achieve it.

The Power of Allowing

One of my dear clients came to me with a mindset of scarcity and deprivation. She was raised to believe that only rich people could buy things and enjoy life, and she was raised in a very sad home environment. She was raised in humble circumstances with parents who were far from positive, and although she was a highly successful professional in her field, she didn’t believe she deserved to have what she longed for deep down, which blocked her from allowing herself to believe in her dreams, let alone receive what she longed for.

It wasn’t until she did a few sessions of coaching with me that she was able to come to know and believe that she really could allow herself to receive. She was able to shift her energy from focusing on not being worthy to embracing the Art of Allowing. As she became aligned with her higher self, she came to know and believe that she really was praiseworthy and that she deserved to receive all the abundance God had in store for her. She was able to let go of all her childhood limiting thoughts and beliefs step by step and soon became empowered with her ability to create and manifest on purpose.

She became enlightened, and her inner power of truth and light radiated from within her. It was as if she had a new lease on life. She was in awe with the joy of her journey and became truly happy for the first time in her life. She came to discover that life really is plentiful and miraculous. As she welcomed the Art of Allowing in her life, miracles began to take place. Out of the blue, people would offer her things for her home for free, all of which she never thought possible. And best of all, she came to love herself fully without conditions.

Within weeks, her life transformed astoundingly as she jumped into her newfound world while embracing the Art of Allowing, which brought her a sense of well-being and happiness and a mindset of plenty and abundance! She began living her dreams more and more each day just by allowing herself to do so. She is now thriving, and people are constantly asking what she’s doing that changed her life so much, all of which became apparent because she was willing to embrace and implement the Art of Allowing.

You can also transform your life by simply refining your thoughts and feelings to enable the Art of Allowing to flow vastly through you by believing that you are worthy to live a happy life filled with peace, love, joy, love, good health, wealth, and happiness. You can have that which you long for by cultivating the Art of Allowing in your life and by being in vibrational alignment with what you desire by choosing to be happy. Regardless of your current circumstances or what your past has been, you have immense power within you to allow your dreams to come true. All you have to do is implement the Art of Allowing in your life by feeling good.

You Have the Power to Change

If you find that you are constantly struggling with self-doubt or that you are constantly stressed out, then change how you feel! You have the power to change your thoughts and feelings at any given moment. It’s not fun to be in a negative mindset all the time. Not only is it a miserable way to live but it is the opposite of allowing effortlessly. How often do you hear people around you complaining about how difficult their lives are or how fat they are, yet they refuse to change? Doesn’t it drive you bonkers? It does for me. Have you noticed that what they complain about most seems to happen over and over in their lives? That’s because they are sending out low vibrations that are not in harmony with their deep, heartfelt desires, which block them from manifesting a higher quality of life. Until they change the way they think and believe, their lives will always remain unsatisfying.

If you are someone who complains a lot, then resolve here and now to break free of the emotional bondage of “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough.” You, my friend, deserve to live the life of your dreams! Become the person you desire to be by allowing yourself to think new thoughts that uplift and support your ability to accomplish your goals and dreams. Tell yourself over and over again throughout the day, “I BELIEVE in me!” At first it may seem uncomfortable to even begin contemplating changing your mindset from doubt to belief and from lack to abundance, but soon you will have thoughts of “I CAN!” and be able to change the dialogue for what you want to improve in your life. For example, if you desire love, you must change your mindset from focusing on a lack of love to receiving love; the sooner you override lonely thoughts, the sooner you will attract more love into your life. And when old thought patterns come up, tell yourself, “That’s just my old thought pattern,” and then think new, powerful thoughts that support your desire for change. Soon you will have new habitual thoughts that will change your beliefs—it’s a beautiful thing!

The more you believe in the Art of Allowing, the more you will enable yourself to manifest that which you desire and the more you will find how much easier and abundant life really is. Just like my client manifested what she desired simply by shifting her beliefs, so can you manifest what you need and want. Use the tools you’ve learned in manifesting your dreams such as your Reality Board; if you look at it daily with emotion, it will align you with the Art of Allowing. You can also use affirmations to support your ability to allow. You can create affirmations such as, “I allow all good to come to me easily and effortlessly” or “I allow joy, love, peace, and happiness to fill my soul each day” or “I allow my dreams to come true in great abundance” and then read them daily with enthusiasm until the new thought process of allowing becomes your belief.

Trust me when I say that you have the power to change. You really can have your goals and dreams come true. You really can release limiting thoughts and beliefs that have been keeping you stuck. And you really can become all that you wish to be, do, or have merely by tapping into the Art of Allowing. Just as a child asks a mother for an ice cream cone, if the child didn’t feel deserving, she wouldn’t take if from her mother’s loving hand; however, if the young child believed she could have it, then she would receive it happily and graciously. Your belief about being able to receive is no different; the more open you are to receiving, the more allowing you will be.

When you believe in your innate power to create your life on purpose, your world is going to come alive! As you come to believe in your ability to change, you will shift your paradigm from disbelief to allowing. You will be empowered, happy, blissful, and hopeful, and filled with faith, trust, and belief as you come to know that what you set your mind to you can, without a doubt, be achieved. You will then be able to practice the Art of Allowing daily, which will open up wondrous experiences in your life and allow you to marvel and rejoice as you embrace your journey to success.

Meditation & Allowing Exercise

To be in vibrational alignment with the Art of Allowing, you need to make meditation a high priority in your life. Meditation quiets the mind so that it can become in harmony with your higher self. It also enables you to think clearly, allowing your higher self to lead your thoughts as you meditate. It also enables you to feel your way toward manifesting intentionally. When you are free of judgment and free of the impulse to control, which the practice of meditation brings, it frees you to feel and sense your desires as if they were already reality. It brings a sense of peace and well-being, and it balances the body, mind, and spirit.

Each day, make it a point to set time aside for you to focus and ponder your dreams. As you meditate, relish in the joy of being you. Doing so will open your heart even more and help you to be in alignment with allowing. You don’t have to spend a lot of time meditating. Ten to twenty minutes a day is substantial. The power of your mind is at its peak when you meditate because your mind is clear and at peace, which removes any blockages you had before you began to meditate. It is such a powerful tool. Each one of my clients who incorporates meditation into their lives regularly has had amazing results. It doesn’t take long before you begin to sow what you reap. It’s absolutely exciting once you really get the hang of it. And when you do, the Art of Allowing becomes a part of you, and you don’t have to work at being in alignment as you once did.

You can meditate any way you choose. You can follow along with a meditation CD, you can look up videos on YouTube and choose one that resonates with you, you can do what I love best and listen to the calming sounds of nature, or you can simply meditate in silence. It doesn’t matter how you meditate, just as long as you do it.

As you meditate, remember to breathe deeply and visualize yourself allowing your goals and dreams to come true. Visualize yourself achieving or attaining your desires. Use all your senses as if you were living your dreams now. Always end your meditation with love and appreciation for God for blessing you with the knowledge of your creative powers to allow and receive abundantly.

Next, write down the things that you would like to allow yourself to manifest in your life on the lines below or in a notebook. Make a list of what you want to manifest and then write how you will feel once you manifest that desire. Those feelings are the feelings of being in vibrational alignment with the essence of what you want—make a mental note of how it feels. Then write thank you below each item and see yourself manifesting your desires easily and effortlessly.

Be sure to read what you wrote down as often as needed until you are naturally in alignment with the Art of Allowing. Have fun as you learn to allow your goals and dreams to come true. By embracing the Art of Allowing, you really will be living your dreams.

Chapter 22

The Key to Manifesting

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable Winners can tell you where they are going what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.

~ Denis Watley

So now that you have learned how to ask and how to allow, now comes the fun part—learning how to manifest! After all, everything we strive to expand in our lives has an end result of wanting to manifest our desires into our experience. Unfortunately, as busy women, the Key to Manifesting is commonly overlooked as we go about our daily activities: working long hours, caring for our families, being a taxi-cab-driving mom, being a short-order cook, being a wife/girlfriend, helping our friends in need, and being a house cleaner to boot. Because of all the directions we are pulled in, we fail to acknowledge the most important aspect of manifesting, and that is how we feel. The Key to Manifesting is being happy. In fact, you could say Ridiculously Happy!

When you are genuinely happy and content, you are sending out powerful rockets of desire out into the universe. Your feelings and emotions are your navigational beacon, letting you know where you are on the manifestation scale. When you feel happy and content, life mirrors back to you delightful experiences, many of which are needed to bring your desires to fruition. When you choose to be happy and to love life to the fullest, it’s uncanny how much life loves you in return; the right people, circumstances, and events unfold before you in perfect harmony to enable you to manifest your dreams. It’s truly awe-inspiring to experience the magic and miracles being happy brings.

Now I’m not saying that you have to be happy twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to successfully manifest what you want—that’s not realistic, nor is it conducive to your learning and growth. Having feelings that are in contrast with what you want is essential to knowing what you like and don’t like. Without contrast, you wouldn’t have reasons to dream or to become closer to God—and what a mind-numbing way of life that would be! What I mean when I say you need to be happy is that you need to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings frequently throughout the day. And when you’re not exactly chipper, then decide to make it a point to be in a good mood to get you back on track with being in alignment with what you want to create in your life.

When you are in a pleasant mood and feel good for no particular reason, you are well on your way to manifesting more reasons to be happy. Keep in mind that happy, blissful feelings and emotions emit powerful vibrations of creation that attract more to be thankful for. When you get off the “happy-track,” take a moment to reorganize your thoughts and think of positive thoughts that warm your heart to get back on track with feeling good. For me, when I feel unhappy, I focus on what I’m thankful for. I regroup my thoughts and bring my attention to what I appreciate to change my thoughts to being positive once again, or I do an act of kindness for someone else. Without fail, I always feel better when I do. I feel uplifted when I help another, and I feel better when I think positively. Holding the Key to Manifesting really is a choice that only you can make for yourself.

When you concentrate on being positive, it will bring about a sense of relief and feelings of happiness, which releases resistance to that which is wanted. Checking in with your emotions throughout the day and choosing to be positive is imperative to manifest in all areas of your life. If you want more love, money, health, and happiness in your life, you can’t walk around all negative and bitter; it will just keep you stuck in an emotional rut. You can’t have negative feelings and expect a positive outcome—it’s against all Universal laws. It is just as René Descartes, the French philosopher who is considered the “Father of Modern Philosophy,” taught, “I think; therefore I am.” He knew undeniably of the power of his thoughts, feelings, and emotions and recognized that what he thought and how he felt directly influenced his ability to create and manifest deliberately.

You too can manifest intentionally by choosing to be happy—now. Regardless of what’s going on in your life, you can find reasons to be happy by simply focusing on what you are thankful for. Focusing on what you appreciate in your life will create a sense of satisfaction and peace within you, which ignites the life-force energy that flows through you, allowing you to be even more powerful, which enables you to create and manifest intentionally. How awesome is that? When you have an attitude of gratitude, you will instinctively look for that which you want to see, and as always, energy flows where your attention goes. By looking for the good in your present circumstances as well as in others, you will be able to shift your belief systems to manifest more of what you want, which is a surefire way to manifest more of what you are already thankful for.

Manifesting is an Emotional Journey

Manifesting is an emotional journey; your mind and emotions are the connection between the divinity within you and the Universal laws, particularly the Law of Attraction. Each aspect of your life and the actions you take are influenced by your subconscious mind, which creates action and emotions that directly influence what you bring to fruition in your life.

Whether you realize it or not, your vibration of emotions plays a critical role in what you attract—from the people you meet to what you wear and what you eat. Everything you do is based on your frequency, which is how you feel. When you have low vibrational energy, you feel tired, stressed out, frustrated, confused, and anxious. When you feel happy, it’s your body reading the high frequency you are radiating. You and I both make entirely different decisions and choices when we’re mad, frustrated, or upset as opposed to being happy and content. By selectively choosing to have thoughts that bring about feel-good feelings continually, you will reprogram your old limiting thought programs, the paradigms in your mind, to those of empowerment and self-belief. The power of manifesting is in the emotional journey that enables you to directly manifest your dreams—or not.

So often we get so caught up in our current circumstances that we fail to focus on our goals and dreams. We mindlessly focus our attention on the stresses of our lives rather than on all the good we enjoy each day. It’s when we forget to appreciate what makes us happy that we fall into the trap of frustration and despair, which consequently only gives us more reason to be upset. It’s our daily actions and habits that bring about what we manifest into our lives—either wanted or unwanted—the Law of Attraction is impartial to what is for our higher good; it merely attracts back to us what we focus our attention to most.

It’s amazing to me to recognize how much my emotions influence what I manifest into my life. When I’m in a blissful mood and feel carefree, it seems as if everything goes my way. It’s as if the world comes alive and is brighter and more plentiful than ever. And when I get frustrated and down, it seems as if nothing goes my way. Of course, we all have feelings and emotions that differ during the day. Sometimes we feel great, while other times we can become a bit humdrum. If you are not as happy as you would like to be, give yourself some time to adjust to being more positive. Sometimes it takes longer than a day to feel upbeat and positive. Just do the best you can and forget the rest.

Always remember that tomorrow is the start of a new day, which can be a new beginning, a New Beginning of YOU! It’s not what your past is; it’s where you’re headed that counts. So look forward with a smile on your face and believe in your heart that you have the power to change by simply shifting your emotional perspective to that of being happy. As you embrace manifesting as an emotional experience, you will think twice about your thoughts and feelings. Decide here and now to be happier and look forward to a bright and abundant future, which is bursting with love, joy, good health, and immense prosperity. After all, it’s your Divine Birthright to have all that your heart desires…and more!

Feeling Unworthy to Receive

Dorothy came to me wanting assistance with learning how to manifest her dreams with intention. She was all gung-ho about manifesting intentionally, but she was in a quandary as to why she hadn’t been able to bring her desires to fruition; she had read lots of self-help books and did affirmations regularly, but nothing seemed to change for the positive in her life. When I inquired about her beliefs about what she could actually manifest, she was unclear about her innate ability to manifest. I then inquired about her daily thought process and listened to her as she expressed her feelings as to why her life was difficult up to that point. I could hear her disbelief in her own abilities as her energy radiated low self-worth. Deep down, she didn’t feel worthy to receive, and she was more negative than positive when she talked, which brought about more unhappiness instead of contentment.

Although she desperately wanted to learn how to manifest with intention, her limiting thoughts, feelings, and emotions spoke otherwise, which were actually her dominate vibration. It wasn’t until she realized the power of her emotions that she was able to comprehend that her feelings of underlying resistance—self-doubt and trepidation about receiving—were the culprit, keeping her from allowing herself to believe she could manifest her dreams.

As Dorothy came to recognize the power of her emotions, she began to believe in her ability to create the life her heart longed for. She learned the power of letting go and began to think positively by making a conscious choice to be optimistic, happy, and nonjudgmental of herself and others. She began to love and believe in herself more and more with each coaching session, and soon she began to trust in her ability to manifest intentionally. As she opened her heart and mind to what she really was, she could sense a power within herself that she had never felt before; she expressed that it felt euphoric and made her feel giddy and free. She soon began to notice tender mercies in her life that were marking the pathway before her; step by step, she was shown the way to manifest her goals. She was able to hear the prompting of the Spirit more fully as she calmed her mind by believing in her ability to succeed.

Dorothy was ecstatic, and she was able to relish in her power to create instant manifestation when she was happy and free of self-doubt. She got along better with her family and friends, she became closer to her husband, and she felt more alive than she had in a long, long time. Her life became exciting as she rejoiced in living in her power and being open to receive. She and her husband were able to buy their dream house, which she had dreamt of having for years. She had more self-confidence and believed that if it’s meant to be, it will be, which brought peace and comfort to her heart and mind as she let go of trying to make her dreams come true and allowed them to unfold. She was able to manifest her goals and dreams in various aspects of her life because she was able to shift from self-doubt to being worthy to receive. Her life transformed beautifully, all because she came to realize the power of her self-beliefs and emotions.

Your Happy Zone

You may be thinking, “This all sounds dandy, but being happy all the time is not that easy.” Well, it can be easy with time, commitment, and practice and by constantly aiming to be happy each day. I used to think that way too before I learned how powerful it is to be happy—so much so that I made a commitment long ago to live in what I like to refer to as my Happy Zone (I’ll explain it in more detail in a moment). I’ve experienced amazing results by choosing to live in my Happy Zone, and I coach my clients to do the same. When coaching my clients, I teach them how to create their own Happy Zones. Each of my clients who has implemented this technique has had even more success in reaching their goals by doing so.

I’ve lived in my Happy Zone for years and have loved how empowered I feel when I’m there. It’s awesome to know that each of us has the power to step into our Happy Zones whenever we choose. I seriously feel more delighted when I am in mine. I feel joyful, have zest for life, feel childlike and giddy; I feel hopeful and optimistic, and I feel inspired to dream big dreams. I have a sense of inner peace, tranquility, and immense love that ignites unwavering faith, which expounds the feeling of charity within me. And just as I was able to create my Happy Zone to expand my life, so can you.

You may be questioning, “What’s a Happy Zone?” A Happy Zone is an individual energy sphere that is filled with God’s energy of golden white light and love. It is also where all your desires that you long for invisibly await you. It is filled with love, happiness, and peace. Your Happy Zone is where all your hopes and dreams are stored. It’s what ignites your imagination to go into full visualization mode and sends out rockets of desire to attract that which you desire. Each of my clients who embraces their Happy Zones and practices being happy daily relishes in the ease of manifesting; often they are shocked at how quickly they were able to shift from being worried all the time to being filled with happiness and receiving abundantly. Without question, those who consciously choose to be in their Happy Zone accomplish their goals in less time. They become happy with who they are and are more satisfied with their lives and bodies as they are, which enables their bodies and minds to come into harmony with their higher selves.

Creating your Happy Zone will enrich your life as well. To create your awesome Happy Zone, all you have to do is consciously declare that you choose to live in your Happy Zone and visualize a sphere of energy with a rainbow of colors swirling about as it is filled with the energy and light of God. Creating a Happy Zone is a mental image that creates energy around you. By choosing to create your own Happy Zone, you will become more positive, loving, hopeful, and trusting and will be less likely to take offense or to react. It’s a space of power and of expansion, and when you are in your Happy Zone, the negative energy in the past that used to drive you crazy will no longer be drawn to you. It’s a place of safety and peace as your body, mind, and spirit are in harmony with the energy and love of God.

As you create your Happy Zone, always remember that happiness is a part of your Divine Birthright—it is literally your right to be happy. Once you create your Happy Zone, when you get upset or forget about being in the zone, then your Happy Zone will fade away. But don’t worry. When that happens, you can get it back quickly by simply by choosing to have a heart filled with thankfulness to God and by refocusing your energy of thought. By doing so, you will instantly create your Happy Zone again, which will feel as if you have a protective energy field around you once more, shielding you from the outside cares of the world—it’s an awesome feeling!

Walking in Faith

As you go about living in your Happy Zone, trust and rely on God’s love and light to lead and guide you. Believe that God is always watching out for your highest good and is clearing the way before you as you walk in faith. Faith is a powerful energy—the more you love yourself and trust in God’s will for you, the more faith you will have and the easier it will be to dominantly be in your Happy Zone and manifest with intention. When you have faith in God, you will have increased faith in your own infinite powers.

When I began living in my Happy Zone, I appreciated even more how magical life really was! As I mentioned in the previous chapters, when I tapped into the power of my mind and decided to be happy (regardless of what was going on in my life), I began manifesting my goals and dreams like crazy! I was in awe at how quickly my life began to change. But before I really took to heart the importance of being in my Happy Zone, my mind would often wander into having thoughts that brought about doubt, negative self-talk, and even fear. I didn’t like feeling unhappy, nor did I like feeling doubtful, and I couldn’t stand second guessing myself. I didn’t like what was showing up in my life when I worried a lot.

Even though I was happy for the most part, it wasn’t until I fully took to heart that God created me to live a joyful life that I was able to turn my frown upside down and begin to live life to the fullest! It made me really stop and think about what life was really about. It was about living up to my talents from above and becoming a deliberate creator as I was designed to be. I realized then that I really was a creative being. I literally had the choice to decide my thoughts and to be happy or not. I came to be more aware of how my thoughts induced my feelings and how my feelings fueled my actions and my actions reflected my experiences. Everything in my life changed, from my health to our wealth. All aspects of my life improved greatly! As I consciously chose to let go of unwanted feelings and have feel-good thoughts and feelings, I become in harmony with my spirit and with God, which enabled me to thrive in my Happy Zone. I felt the power of the His spirit more fully in my life, encouraging me to believe and to go after my dreams. I began shifting my paradigms and began believing in me. I followed the inspired action I received and it was as if gold-plated stepping-stones would appear before me, leading me toward that which I wanted to achieve.

To this day, I don’t let myself stay in an “emotional rut” because I know the impact it will have on my life in that moment as well as in the future. How I feel today affects what I will attract to me tomorrow, a week, or even a year from now. I taught my family members the power of being in their Happy Zones too and how it’s the Key to Manifesting their dreams.

The other day, my beautiful, teenage daughter asked me with a great big smile on her beautiful face, “Momma, do you ever have a wave of happiness just wash over you for no particular reason?” I smiled and replied, “Yep, I do all the time!” She then said, “That’s how I feel right now!” as she threw her arms up in the air and moved about joyfully. Watching her big, brown eyes light up with excitement with a smile on her face warmed my heart to my very core. It was highly rewarding as her mother to see her delight in her Happy Zone. I thought to myself, “Yes! She’s got it!”

Choose to Be Happy Now

Happiness is choice that only you can make. It’s up to you to stop looking at what upsets you and start focusing your attention on your goals and dreams. When you are in your Happy Zone, your life will begin to unfold before you in fabulous ways, just as mine has. You will come to love unconditionally, attract more like-minded people into your life, radiate self-confidence, be less likely be take offense, get along better with others, forgive freely, and feel the ease of life as the gift of synchronicity plays an active role. You will also have increased faith as you allow yourself to receive abundantly. In addition, you will be more upbeat and pleasant to be around, and you will come to expect more of what you want to materialize in your life. All aspects of your life will improve by simply choosing to be in your Happy Zone.

Once you create your Happy Zone, give yourself a break when you’re having an off day. It’s okay. We all do now and again. Just pick yourself back up, wipe yourself off, and think positively until you feel better. Don’t stress about trying to be happy, give yourself time to shift back into your Happy Zone, focus on what you appreciate, and then look for the good around you. Shifting back doesn’t happen instantly, and it may take longer at times, but by being diligent about trying to be happier you will be able to feel better again and will be able to get back in your Happy Zone.

Being in your Happy Zone daily will improve your life greatly; it really will. But as with all things, it takes time to create a new habit, and that includes being able to stay in your Happy Zone without having to think about it. Being mindful of your thoughts and feelings by thinking intentionally and feeling happy is your most powerful tool of creation and that is what will help you stay in the zone. If you really want to manifest deliberately, then open your heart to accepting the Key to Manifesting—by choosing to be happy now and creating your Happy Zone.

Create Your Happy Zone in Five Easy Steps

You can create your Happy Zone anytime or anywhere you choose. The five easy steps below can be done in a meditative state or in a fun, joyful, creative state of mind. All that matters is that you visualize your Happy Zone clearly in your mind and see it and feel it as though you could reach out and touch it around you.

As you complete each step, do so with an open heart and let your spirit and the love God has for you guide your thoughts, feelings, and images as you create your Happy Zone. When you are in the zone, you will find that typical experiences that once bothered you no longer get under your skin as they did in the past. Before long the irritation may even fade away as it will not be a vibrational match for you anymore.

Once you complete your Happy Zone, you will be able to have the shield of protection at any moment you choose to step into it. All you have to do is set your intention by thinking to yourself, “I’m in my Happy Zone! I choose to be happy!” And voila! You will be in your Happy Zone! It’s a wonderful feeling. It’s as if you are surrounded by a powerful energy shield that is filled with God’s bright, golden-white light that radiates from your true essence within and surrounds you with a beautiful array of life-giving colors that moves about your shield, much like a bubble that you might have blown with soap and a wand as a child.

As you create your Happy Zone, have fun! Being in the zone is blissful, exciting, peaceful, reassuring, safe, and delightful. Know that when you lose your cool or get anxious or overly stressed you will no longer be in your Happy Zone and that you will need to regroup and choose to be happy again so you can be in your Happy Zone once more. Enjoy the experience of creating your very own Happy Zone. Remember to give yourself time to create happiness as your natural state of being. Take the journey in baby steps and try your best to be positive and happy even when things don’t go your way. Being in your Happy Zone doesn’t mean you have to be happy all day every day, it simply means that you strive to be happy each day. But as with all things, being happy is a choice, so make a decision to choose to be in your Happy Zone.

Happy Zone Exercise

Love Yourself Unconditionally. Visualize yourself loving everything about yourself down to the cellular level. See yourself as a divine being of pure energy and light. Notice all the qualities you have and what you like about yourself. Focus on your gifts, talents, and beauty as you reconnect to the self-love that is inborn in you. Appreciate all that you are, from your curvaceous figure to your bubbly personality—love everything about you! The more you love all that you are, not in an egotistical way but sincerely love all that you are, the happier and more content you will be.

Enrapture Your Soul with God’s Love. Imagine the Lord coming down from the heavens and encircling you with His loving arms and pure golden white light. Feel His presence near you as He expresses His love for you. Then fill your soul with his powerful light, allowing His light and love to fill your entire being down to the cellular level. Then see the divine light travel down through the bottom of your feet and go down through the earth, hooking onto an energetic anchor that was created just for you. Now visualize the light-giving energy coming back up and encircling you in the form of a great big sphere, and watch it as it encircles you with vibrant energy—feel it vibrating around you.

Relish in the Present Moment & Think Positively. Visualize yourself relishing your life as you live it in the present moment. This is where your ultimate power lies. Delight in your Happy Zone by choosing to be in the present as you strive to think positively. Having a positive mental attitude and a heart filled with gratitude will enrapture your soul with all the deliciousness of life, which will enable you to manifest your dreams with less effort and ease. The more you live in the present, the more you will desire to look for that which you want to see and the more abundant your life will be.

Live in an Attitude of Gratitude. Visualize yourself living in an attitude of gratitude daily as you continuously give thanks to God for all the blessings you receive each day. Doing so will remove stumbling blocks from before you to allow you to live as you were created to be. Live your life joyously as you do your best to live in your Happy Zone each day, and then take note of all that you manifest effortlessly. Living in your Happy Zone will truly enable you to transform your life to create the life and body of your dreams.

Your Happy Zone is Complete! Well done, your Happy Zone is complete! Now visualize your beautiful energetic Happy Zone shield as a protection for you. Always remember that it is filled with God’s love for you and that it is there to protect you and to help you stay happy and content in order to enable you to manifest your hopes and dreams abundantly. Relish in the moment and feel the cells of your body vibrating at a higher rate, filling your soul with life-force energy. Isn’t it wonderful? Take note of how you feel—doesn’t it feel good? Recall that when you are in your Happy Zone, you feel happy, childlike, joyful, content, tranquil, blissful, and at peace—just as you were created to be!

Section Five

The New You!

Dream on it. Let your mind take you to places you would like to go, and then think about it and plan it and celebrate the possibilities. And don’t listen to anyone who doesn’t know how to dream.

~ Liza Minnelli

Chapter 23

Create the Body of Your Dreams

Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

~ Lou Holtz

If one of your goals is to reduce your weight, gain weight, or to get into shape, then know that you can—anyone can! You can have better health, more strength, and more energy, regardless of your age or size. Creating the body of your dreams is highly rewarding and empowering—it’s the icing on the cake after you have come to love and believe in all that you are. Your body is an expression of your inner beliefs and feelings. Now that you’ve come to understand how to let go of your emotional baggage and embrace a new you, you’re ready to take the next step in creating and manifesting the body of your dreams.

There’s nothing quite like waking up in the morning eager to start your day as you put on your workout clothes in anticipation of exercise. If you truly want to manifest the body of your dreams, then take what I’m about to teach you to heart and follow through with what you desire to achieve.

To begin any type of body-transformation journey, whether you want to gain weight, shrink your waistline, get in shape, or simply improve your eating habits, you must first come to love and believe in yourself, and if you haven’t done so already, let go of emotional baggage from the past. As I mentioned earlier, you now have the tools to love yourself unconditionally and believe in your ability to succeed at anything—including having the body of your dreams.

Just as the outside world is a mirror of your beliefs and feelings, so is your body. The body is always an expression of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, so to change your body you must first change your mindset. If you are carrying around negative emotions from years ago, believe me when I say that you are not doing yourself any favors—quite the contrary—holding onto negative feelings, as you know by now, only harms and limits your ability to improve health and wellness. Your body can’t transform if you’re filled with resistance and limiting beliefs. No matter how hard you try, the paradigms in your subconscious will continue to bring about feeling of self-sabotage until you shift into a higher level of consciousness and come to believe in you. I can tell you over and over again what it takes to transform your physique, but it will be falling on deaf ears if you are not willing to shift your beliefs to support your desire to live a healthier, happier way of life.

With that said, to change your body you probably already know that you will need to work out regularly and eat wholesome foods. The thought of changing your diet may sound daunting, but don’t worry, it’s not. I’m going to teach you how to shift from feeling overwhelmed when you think about diet and exercise to actually embracing healthy thought patterns and wanting to incorporate them into your life! To truly grasp what I like to call my LivFit Lifestyle, you will need to clear out your old, limiting thought processes to make room for new, powerful, positive thoughts of wanting to eat clean and exercise regularly. You can’t move forward if you are unwilling to try. As we delve deeper into this chapter, please do me a favor and be positive about the idea of actually wanting to live a LivFit Lifestyle. If you strive to live what you are about to learn, I promise you that you will feel better and more empowered and your willpower will go through the roof!

Believe in Your Ability to Change

To start off, realize that your limiting emotions and limiting self-beliefs have prevented you from achieving your health and wellness goals and dreams. Just as I explained in earlier chapters, it’s essential that you believe in your ability to succeed—including having a healthier body. If you feel resistance to exercise and find that you constantly are coming up with excuses as to why you don’t have time, do some emotional clearing exercises to help clear the negative energy to enable your body and mind to come into harmony. By letting go of undesirable emotions, or resistance, it will be as if you set your body free to embrace living a healthy lifestyle your body longs to.

Letting go of resistance when it comes to diet and exercise isn’t merely what you resist about exercising or eating healthy. Most often the root of your resistance stems from emotional duress in your life from as far back as childhood that caused you to have paradigms that limit what you can and cannot do. For instance, if you were told that you were fat when you were young and needed to lose weight, it created your beliefs in your mind such as, “I will always be fat.” If you’re stuck in untruths about yourself, you live your life chasing after the next fad diet only to be disappointed in the end. You can go on all the fad diets you want and may be able to shed some weight, but if you don’t shift your limiting beliefs about yourself and the perceptions you have about yourself, then you will gain all the weight back and more, which may make you more upset with yourself and unsatisfied with your body. Then the spiral begins again and you will fall into the old pattern and thought of, “My parents were right; I’ll always be overweight,” which is a false belief.

It’s vital to figure out what the real root of your resistance is that has kept you from believing in yourself. What emotional memory comes to mind when you think about your body image? It’s those feelings and memories that are stored in your subconscious mind that have been keeping you out of the gym. It’s also what stirs your emotional hunger for craving junk food and comfort food. Once again, your mind is your greatest tool of creation. It’s your thoughts, feelings, and emotions that enable you to believe in your ability to create and manifest intentionally—including having better health and creating the body of your dreams.

Cathie came to me wanting to get fit; she explained that she had a personal trainer for years but her weight wouldn’t budge. She had followed her trainer’s advice, but her weight wouldn’t change each week she stepped on the scale with her trainer by her side. She said her trainer was dumbfounded. I then asked her about herself, her self-beliefs, and her various life experiences that had brought her to where she was today.

As she told me about what had transpired throughout her life, tears ran down her cheeks as she spoke about her difficult and painful childhood. It was clear to me why her body weight and shape wouldn’t budge even though she worked out regularly and tried to eat clean most of the time. She was stuck because she was filled with the emotional baggage from the past that was keeping her body in a constant state of “fight or flight,” which caused her body to gain and hold onto weight. Her body was in a constant state of survival mode as a result of her habitual negative thinking.

Little did Cathie know, the extra weight was her body’s way of buffering itself from the outside world both energetically and physically. Her body had built up energy stores (also called fat stores) as its way to protect itself in case of famine—that is what our bodies are designed to do when it is in a constant state of “fight or flight.” Whenever the body is under severe stress, it releases an overabundance of cortisol, which stores fat. And it also naturally craves high calorie foods to store up in case of famine. It doesn’t know that the extra weight isn’t good for it; all it knows is that the fight or flight hormones are in full play, so it thinks it has to store energy—fat—to survive.

It wasn’t until Cathie began to tap into her inner self and appreciate who she was and how magnificent she truly was that she was able to release her negative energy. By letting go of false beliefs she had about herself, she was able to replace them with self-love and adoration, which brought her body, mind, and spirit in unity to enable her to begin to shift her limiting beliefs. I taught her the same emotional releasing exercises as I have here in this book. Her body began to change through performing emotional clearing exercises and EFT with me over the phone during her coaching calls, which allowed her subconscious mind to release painful memories she had been carrying around with her for nearly thirty years.

Once she was able to let go and embraced her divinity and light within, she began to feel lighter and happier, and she also wanted to follow my LivFit Lifestyle and began losing weight fast—within the first week of her implementing what I taught her. She expressed how amazed she was that she was actually losing weight! By shifting her paradigm in her mind, in less than nine months she lost nearly sixty pounds! She expressed how awesome she felt and how much she enjoyed buying a new wardrobe and giving her old “big” clothes away.

Cathie’s transformation occurred because she shifted her belief system around her self-image. By releasing the negative energy that was keeping her body in survival mode, she was able to balance her body, mind, and spirit to free herself in order to enjoy better health and happiness. After a short time of coaching, she was able to finally see the results of the time she spent in the gym and eating a healthy diet. And as she followed my LivFit Workout Routine, she was in awe at how quickly her body was transforming. She also began craving healthier foods and no longer had a desire for sweets; she was shocked that the cravings that she had before seem to just vanish. I explained that her cravings went away because she no longer had emotional hunger within.

Just as with everything else in the Universe, we attract the like energy we are radiating, and that includes the foods we eat too. Cathie’s vibration naturally shifted from craving junk food to wanting wholesome foods because the wholesome foods matched her vibrational energy. She was blown away at how easily her cravings disappeared. In fact, she said that she went out to eat with her family and had a small dessert, only to end up regretting her choice as her body protested with stomach upset and gastric pain. She commented how it was the first time in her life that she got sick to her stomach from eating sugar. I explained that it didn’t bother her before because her body wasn’t in a high-energy state of being, but now that it was vibrating on a higher frequency, it only wanted healthy, whole foods. She was delighted! As a result of her shifting, she no longer had to think about going on a diet ever again because she had come to relish and love her new LivFit Lifestyle.

Cathie not only achieved her ideal weight, but her self-esteem went through the roof! She came to love and believe in herself deeply as she let go of limiting self-beliefs. She became passionate about life again; she truly transformed her life in wondrous ways, from having better health to having high self-worth and love like she had never experienced before. To see her today, she truly radiates how she feels.

Happiness is the Key

Just as happiness is the key to manifesting your material desires, so it is with manifesting your ideal body as you envision it to be. When you are happy, your body has fertile soil to thrive in. As I’ve explained, happiness is a high vibration that spurs energy from within to take action to accomplish your goals. When you are happy, you’re open to receive inspiration to fulfill your dreams—including having the body of your dreams. Just as with manifesting more love or wealth, manifesting the body you want begins by shifting your self-image of what you can or cannot be.

When I began my fitness and weight-loss journey many years ago, at first I would go on clean diets only to self-sabotage my efforts over the weekend and ruin all the hard work I did in the gym by overeating and choosing the wrong foods. It wasn’t until I came to see myself as the “Carol” I wanted to be that I began to shift my paradigm about what I could actually achieve.

I recall wanting to be a certain weight and no matter how hard I worked out and tried to eat clean the scale just couldn’t seem to get there. Then I’d get frustrated and go on an eating binge as a way to punish myself subconsciously. You see, I did that because I deep down I believed that I could only be a certain weight. As soon as I realized that I was inadvertently stopping myself from achieving my ideal bodyweight, I began to do some serious emotional clearing about my self-image. And you know what happened? I lost all the weight I wanted AND MORE in less than three months! I lost nearly twenty pounds! Once again, the body is always a perfect expression of the mind. If you want to reduce your weight, then believe you can and see yourself as you wish to be. Needless to say, I haven’t looked back, and now I’m able to maintain my ideal bodyweight easily.

When you hold onto antagonistic feelings about your body image, you are keeping yourself locked in the paradigms of your mind. Allow yourself to create new habitual thought patterns by thinking positively about yourself in order to shift the paradigms in your mind. Your perception of you is powerful! It is evident in all that you are. Your body is always reflecting what you think about most. Your body’s number one goal is to survive and keep you safe from harm and that which causes you fear. If you constantly have self-doubt or are worried about yesterday or live in a state of regret, then you won’t have the desire or willpower to eat healthy and exercise often because your body will be in survival mode rather than thriving mode.

Consequences of Harboring Negative Feelings

If you want to thrive and achieve your ideal bodyweight, you need to let go of the negativity that’s holding you down. Did you know that harboring negative feelings such as being overly stressed (for any reason) is the number one trigger for the body to gain and hold onto unwanted fat stores? The body is very smart; it uses fat stores as a protection from what the mind fears. When you are stressed, the body releases more fat-storing hormones than are needed, such as cortisol, insulin (when produced in spurts), lepton, and estrogen, which causes weight gain, especially around the abdomen, which creates a barrier between you and the outside world.

That’s why it’s critical to clear your negative emotions before you begin your LivFit Lifestyle. If you want to reduce your weight with less effort and maintain your ideal weight, then make emotional clearing a top priority to shift your beliefs from self-doubt to truly believing in your ability to succeed. Creating the body of your dreams is an emotional journey; it’s not just about burning more calories than you eat. That’s simply dieting. It’s about creating an emotional atmosphere in which your body can flourish and thrive as it was created to do.

If you are not sure what emotions have been keeping you from living a healthy lifestyle, pay attention to your deepest and most intimate thoughts and feelings and recognize what causes you discontentment. Such feelings are the culprits that have been keeping you from living as your higher self and body were intended to. Think about what’s causing you emotional pain and then make peace with it and let it go once and for all in order to free yourself from the emotional bondage that has kept you from living your fitness dreams. (Follow the emotional cleansing exercise explained earlier if needed). Once you let go of the discord within and feel a sense of peacefulness, you will be emotionally prepared to jump into living my LivFit Lifestyle with both feet eagerly and happily, which will empower you to create the body of your dreams.

As you willingly let go of the emotional discord within, do so with gratitude and love for all that you are and accept your life as it is now, knowing that everything in your past was intended to prepare you for this very moment in time—and how awesome is that? Believe in your innate ability to succeed at creating your body as you desire it to be. By having inner peace, self-love, and acceptance, you will have balanced your body, mind, and spirit, which will remove the stumbling blocks along your health and wellness path and allow you to fully create the body of your dreams.

Listen to Your Body

Years before I began my transformational fitness journey, I was one very sick young lady. As I would lie in my bed, I would look through fitness magazines, and I was in awe at the fitness enthusiasts I read about and how awesome their physiques were. I would catch myself saying, “Man, I wish I looked like that.” Although I was constantly fatigued and run down, I desired deeply to become healthy and fit too. After I decided to stop being sick and tired all the time and turned to God for help, I was inspired to take my health and wellness into my own hands and to begin moving forward toward attaining my fitness dreams. It wasn’t easy in the beginning because I was constantly ill and struggled with chronic fatigue on a daily basis, but I made it a goal to become a healthy and fit wife and mother.

As I began my fitness and wellness journey, I became fascinated about how the power of my mind and the influence my emotions had on my body, including the way I felt physically. I struggled with being optimistic at first, and I found it somewhat bewildering to use positive self-talk when my reality was that I felt downright awful! More often than not, I found myself complaining about my hardships from having to deal with my various health issues, but I did my best to refocus when I caught myself complaining. I would change my thoughts to happiness, which brought me a sense of well-being.

Thankfully that didn’t last long once I really focused on being in my Happy Zone. The more engaged I became with feeling good by making a conscious decision to have a happy, positive mental attitude, the more I desired to learn about living a healthy lifestyle. The more I learned, the more I lived what I learned. As a consequence, I became highly motivated and craved nutritious foods. I had more energy, and I actually wanted to exercise on a regular basis—it was amazing! I felt enthusiastic about life because I was in my power each day, which empowered me to honor and follow through with my game plan as I joyously focused on my goals.

I was able to shift my mindset by having a positive mental attitude and choosing to be happy, even when I didn’t feel so good. When I slipped out of my Happy Zone, I would simply refocus my attention upon the Lord, and I would count my many blessings. It always brought me out of my emotional funk, which enabled me to refocus on my goals and dreams. I became on fire! I felt on top of the world as I learned that when I am happy my body is happy.

I no longer took the power of my mind for granted, and I used its creative God-given powers intentionally to manifest the physique of my dreams. I not only saw in my mind’s eye how I wanted to be, but I also asked God to help me. I prayed for strength and shifted my belief that I actually could transform my body even when I didn’t feel that well. I thanked the Lord for blessing me with health and strength to enable me to create the body of my dreams. And guess what? I began to transform from the inside out. Doing so brought me great strength, both physically and mentally, to follow through and transform my body.

I also used the Art of Visualization daily as a tool to create my physique as I wanted it to be. I concentrated on exactly how I wanted my physique to be, and I visualized the size, shape, and weight I wanted reflecting back at me when I looked in a mirror. And I also incorporated positive affirmations into my daily dialog; I would think and speak affirmations throughout the day to reinforce in my subconscious mind that which I desired. My daily mantras were (and still are today): “I AM fit, thin, happy, healthy, and strong!” “I love everything about me!” “I have tons of energy! I AM always at my ideal bodyweight.” “I AM a fat burning machine!” “I love everything about my life, and in return life loves me!”

By saying positive affirmations and visualizing my body as I wanted it to be, I soon came to believe what I repeated over and over in my mind. As a result, my body mirrored back what I believed—I really did become happier, healthier, stronger, leaner, and fit. Life really did love me back, and it was evident in all that I did. It was seriously delightful to experience, and it was exhilarating to see my physique transform just as I wanted it to. I recall one day, after I became really lean and fit, I looked in my bathroom mirror and thought I can’t believe this is my body! It was an awesome feeling to actually have the body of my dreams.

It wasn’t always easy, that’s for sure, but I persevered and never lost hope or my will to succeed. After I achieved my beginning fitness goals and dreams, I continued my quest to become even leaner and stronger. Because of my new self-belief and self-image about what I could achieve, I took my physique to the next level and became like the fitness models in the magazines I admired. A journey of self-discovery and possibility is never ending. Just as I was able to accomplish my fitness goals, you can too. You have the innate capability to create your physique as you truly desire—by believing in you!

Looking back, it still amazes me just how much my body has transformed simply by letting go of the old, limiting thought patterns and beliefs, which shifted the paradigms in my mind toward embracing a new, powerful, positive mindset that supported my hopes and dreams to create my ideal body as I longed for it to be. My personal transformation was nothing short of miraculous in my eyes. If I could transform my body from being sick and weary to being fit, vibrant, and lean, then can you realize the likelihood of you doing so too?

Your Body Knows What’s Best

Did you know that your body knows what’s best for your physical self? That’s why you are constantly reminding yourself that you need to improve your quality of life by having thoughts such as, “I need to lose weight and get in shape,” or “I need to eat healthier,” or “I need to change my attitude.”

Your body is constantly communicating about what is best for you through your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Remember that your feelings and emotions are your internal navigational system given to you from God as an aid to help keep you on the path that is right for you, and that goes for having a healthy, happy body too. Always keep in mind that when you are happy you are in alignment with your higher self, which then receives inspiration from God about that which is for your highest good. When you feel bad, recall that your negative emotions are simply your higher self (the divinity power within you) communicating with your body, letting you know that you are off your path for living a joyful, healthy way of life.

Your body knows what it needs to feel better, become stronger, and to become healthier. Pay attention to what your body is telling you often during the day. When you learn to listen to your body, you will recognize what it really needs to flourish wonderfully. It may seem odd at first to “listen” to your body, but once you get the hang of it and come to acknowledge what it truly desires, you will understand why your body craves various foods. When you have a hankering for sugar, your body isn’t actually craving sugar, its craving feel-good hormones such as serotonin that are released after eating sugar.

What your body is really saying is, “I’m emotionally distraught, and I want to feel good.” It’s not craving sugar because it needs it to survive, it’s craving it because your brain knows that eating sugary foods and simple carbohydrates produces serotonin in the brain, which eases anxiety and stress for a few minutes, which makes you feel better. However, it’s always short lived. Sugar may trigger serotonin, but it makes you feel tired and lethargic. Sugar also increases mood swings and weight gain, spikes your insulin level, and gives you a sugar high, only to come crashing down soon after, resulting in more reasons to feel emotionally distressed.

Do you see the connection of how you feel and what you want to eat and how they correlate? That’s why when you crave sugars, salts, and fats that aren’t good for you, it’s called emotional eating—because when you give into the overwhelming urge to eat unhealthy, you are actually feeding your emotions and not your body. And that’s not going to enable you to create the body of your dreams. Once you recognize the emotion behind why you really want to eat sugary foods, you will be able to release the negative feelings that are causing you to crave sugar in the first place.

Negative emotions and stress zap our energy. They make us tired and unmotivated to do much of anything. If you lack willpower and enthusiasm to exercise, it is most likely because you are giving your power away to the things that are stressing you out; it’s like trying to fill a plastic cup with water that has a big hole in the bottom of it, no matter how much you try to fill the cup up with water, it’s impossible.

Having negative feelings and emotions will also strain your desire to improve your health and wellness. When you are worried, stressed, or have low self-image, you won’t have the energy to exercise and eat wholesome foods—none of us do. And that’s because your body is overloaded with having to deal with excess stress let alone having to cope with the stress of exercising, so naturally you won’t want to exercise, leaving you feeling un-energized and unhappy. That’s why it’s so important to let go of negative feelings and emotions if you truly want to change your quality of life and become healthier and in shape. By listening to your body and changing your mindset when you’re off emotionally, it will help you shift into feeling happier, which will support your desire to get in shape.

You Can Choose to Let Go

When you understand that it’s the limiting emotions that are behind the cravings and lack of wanting to exercise, you can release them. It’s so empowering to acknowledge a negative emotion and choose to let it go. When you free yourself of negativity, you free your mind to think positive thoughts that will bring about positive feelings, which will directly alter your actions and what your body craves. It’s amazing how quickly cravings subside once you let go of the negative emotions. Give it a try; you may be surprised just how rapidly your sugar craving disappears and how you actually want to be more active once you address the negative emotions and embrace having positive attitude.

Isn’t it liberating to know that when we release limiting thoughts and beliefs we really can release fat easier and with less effort? How exciting is that? When you fully let go of self-doubt and negative feelings, you liberate your body to do what it was meant to—and that is to thrive joyfully! By being aware of your feelings and having an awesome self-image, you will be able to change your physique to become all that you desire it to be. Best of all, if you commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle for life, you will be able to maintain your ideal bodyweight for life! Your body is a treasured gift from above and was designed to be vibrant and whole. It’s not meant to be in survival mode, so resolve here and now to believe in your infinite ability to let go and embrace your innate powers within. You have all that is needed to become all that you wish to be—by being in alignment with your higher self.

When you are in alignment with your higher self you will be able to let go and have a positive attitude, which will pave the way for you to create the body of your dreams. Being in harmony with your truth will bring about peacefulness and a sense of happiness and well-being, which will ignite a desire to be more active and to eat healthier foods. Your body is extremely capable of manifesting perfectly what you think and feel about most—what you hold onto emotionally your body will hold onto physically. You can know what your body is holding onto by learning to listen to what it’s telling you.

What is Your Body Telling You?

Ask yourself, “What is my body telling me?” Can you sense what it’s trying to say? Your body is constantly communicating with you through the way you feel emotionally and physically and by indicating to you what you want to eat. Your body is always a perfect expression of your inner feelings and beliefs; it reflects on the outside how you feel on the inside, both physically and emotionally. That’s why when you are really happy you tend to reach for a fresh, crisp apple rather than a cookie.

What you have a hankering to eat gives you information about your dominate vibration. For instance, when you are in a happy mood, you naturally gravitate toward healthier foods, and likewise, when you are stressed out or overly tired, you will instinctively desire foods high in sugar, sodium, and fat to get quick energy or to feed your emotional hunger. Food has energy vibrations just as our thoughts and feelings do. Processed food is basically dead-energy food and has little energy vibration and limited nutrition; while healthy, whole foods are bursting with high-energy vibration and are loaded with nutrition.

Sometimes it is difficult to let go of poor eating choices when our eating patterns have been ingrained into our minds since childhood. You can experiment at home to learn how to better understand what it is your body is telling you by paying attention to what you want to eat. Go to your pantry and refrigerator and focus your attention on various foods. Examine whole foods, such as eggs, bananas, or whole grains, and processed foods, such as white bread, crackers, cereals, or sweets. Select a variety of foods, everything from cookies and chips to fresh fruit and vegetables, and put them on your kitchen table.

Then stand next to your kitchen table and pick each food item up one by one, holding the food of choice in your hands near your stomach (your solar plexus). Then, without judgment, sense how your body feels when you hold the food next to your body (you can close your eyes to focus better). Pay attention to how whole foods and processed foods feel different to you. When you hold a whole food item, such as a crisp apple or a bag of spinach, your body will read the energy of the food and will shift in energy and vibrate subtly. You may feel a slight tilting forward as your body expresses, “Yes, this is what I want” or a tingling in your body or you may have a desire to eat it.

Now pay attention to your body. It will sway softly either forward or backward like a pendulum (this is the tilting I referred to). It will sway forward if the food is good for you and back if it’s not. That is a form of kinesiology. You can also do the exercise by holding a piece of fruit in your left hand next to your side and putting your right arm straight out by your side. Then have a family member or friend push down on your extended arm slightly. If what you are holding is good for you, then you will be stronger, and if it’s not good for you, then you will be weaker. This is one way that your body communicates what is good and what is not good for your body. Isn’t that awesome? When in doubt test your foods to help you better understand what your body is telling you.

By listening to your body and paying attention to how you feel you may be surprised with what your body is saying to you. When you are happy and well, it’s your body expressing that you are on the right path with what’s best for your health and wellness, and when you are unhappy or sick, it’s your body expressing that it is off the course, causing you “disease.” This is why it’s so important to listen to your body. The body is always a reflection of your vibration, which is brought about by your beliefs and feelings, so if you really want to change your body, change the way you think and feel.

When you think positively about your body and visualize yourself as you wish to be, then your body will express its appreciation by how much good you feel. And to top it off, when you feel good your body will naturally release fat stores more easily than when you are filled with doubt and frustration because it feels safe and secure. When you are happy, you won’t have an increase of the fat-producing hormones, leptin and insulin, that cause the body to store fat. The more positive you are, the safer the environment will be for your body, and it will thrive, which creates more energy and sustained vitality.

Paying attention to what your body is telling you will help you to really know what it longs to be. When you have cravings for foods that aren’t good for you, take a moment to think twice about what your body really wants. Once you come to accept that your body is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs, you will soon think twice about what you eat. It’s thrilling to comprehend that once you let go of the past and embrace living a vibrant future your body will, without a doubt, step up to the plate and will radiate your new beliefs.

As you begin your remarkable health and wellness journey, do so with love and appreciation in your heart and believe that you are worthy to become all that you wish to be. When you honor all that you are, your body will express how grateful it is by feeling good as you enjoy having more energy and zest for life. When you pay attention to what your body is telling you, your physique will begin to transform beautifully. Not only will you look better, but you’ll feel better. You will feel happier, more youthful, and joyful. You will also want to eat healthier foods, which will give you more energy to be more active. Learn to listen and pay attention to how your body is mirroring your inner thoughts and feelings and then take the needed steps to live the life of your dreams. Appreciate all that you are and your body will raise to that which you want to create.

Can you see the importance of letting go of your emotional baggage when it comes to achieving your health and fitness goals? It’s essential that you shift your mindset first. Make it a conscious effort to visualize your ideal body and life as you desire it to be. See yourself as if you have already accomplished your goals. See yourself at your ideal bodyweight, enjoying good health, a strong body, and feeling vibrant and in shape. Feel what it will feel like once you fit into your favorite skinny jeans. See yourself feeling confident and self-assured as you go about your day. These visualizations will impress thoughts into your subconscious mind that will shift your paradigm and that will create a new self-image to empower you to actually achieve that which you set out to accomplish.

When I began my fitness journey, even though I wasn’t well, I would lie in bed each night and give thanks for my fit, lean, healthy body. I would visualize my body precisely as I wanted it to be. I would also visualize my fat cells shrinking as I slept and then would visualize myself stepping on the scale and seeing the weight I wanted to be. All of which paid off big! I really did transform my physique, and I really do see the number on the scale that I wanted to be—I became all that I visualized and I did it faster than I thought I could. The power of thought once again plays an integral part in creating, even when it comes to creating the body of our dreams.

Be Glad You are YOU

How often do you sit back and think, “I’m so glad I’m me?” Appreciating all that you are, from the top of your head down to your cute little toes, is a fundamental aspect of achieving fitness success. As you begin implementing living a healthy lifestyle, do so with appreciation and thankfulness for your body as it is now. Take time to really appreciate your wonderful body and all it does for you. Regardless of how shapely you are or how tall or short you are, love all there is to you!

If you are not one to dote of yourself, now is the time to do so. Even if it’s simply appreciating your beautiful smile or your shiny auburn hair, begin by loving what you like about yourself. Try your best to have kind inner dialogue. As you do, your feelings will begin to shift toward love and thankfulness for being the magnificent woman that you are. The more you focus on your strengths and attributes the more you will desire to live a healthy lifestyle. Take time to acknowledge your inner and outer beauty. Compliment yourself and give yourself credit where credit is due.

When you appreciate and love yourself, you will be able to shift from deprivation to desire when it comes to eating healthy and exercising often. As a saying goes, the body always goes where the mind takes it. As you appreciate yourself fully say out loud several times a day, “I am so blessed. I get to eat healthy delicious foods, and I get to work out!” Your mind will perceive your new way of life as a luxury instead of drudgery.

Once you embark on your fitness journey, do so with the attitude of “I get to!” Move forward with a smile on your face and have an attitude of gladness and appreciation in your heart for being able to exercise regularly and to eat healthy, delicious foods. If you begin your health journey with negative energy, thinking thoughts like “I have to work out” or “I can’t eat that,” then that will create feelings of resistance and deprivation, which the subconscious mind does not like, and it will do everything in its power to have more of the foods that you are telling yourself you can’t have and will resist doing the exercise you think you have to do. Rather than go forward with a fight in your mind before you even get started, change your perception of eating healthy and exercise. Perception is everything! It’s all about observation and the way you look at things, so to shift from “have to” to “want to,” tell yourself, “I get to eat this!” and “I get to exercise!” The more you do, the more your subconscious will stop resisting it and will actually want to do just that.

If you’ve struggled with having a positive body image for years on end and find it hard to think kindly of yourself, begin by taking baby steps forward by creating a nonjudgmental relationship with yourself. Each morning look in the mirror as you brush your teeth and say the words, “I love you! I love all that you are! I love your hair, your smile, and your bright, sparkly eyes. I love everything about you!” At first it may seem odd, but then before long it will feel natural. After all, instinctively that is how you feel about yourself. Practice doing this each morning and evening when you brush your teeth until you truly do love everything about yourself.

The Power of Self-Love

Kyra came to me for help, wanting to lose more than one hundred pounds. She struggled physically and emotionally and was saddened by her way of life. She was drained of energy and didn’t think kindly of herself even though she was absolutely beautiful. As a result, she constantly craved “comfort foods” throughout the day and always had candy in her purse, in her car, and in her desk drawers at work. As we discussed how her emotions affected her body and the foods she craved, Kyra was in awe when she realized how her negative emotions impacted her eating habits and how her low self-image kept her from having the motivation to exercise.

As she soaked up everything I taught her like a sponge, she could feel her body shift into a more peaceful way of being and was able to slowly release her negative self-image. Before long she began to truly see herself as I did—a magnificent woman of great beauty, pure positive energy and light. She began to beam as she stepped into her inner power and came to appreciate all that she was, both inside and out. As she was able to let go of her negative self-talk, she soon discovered that she naturally craved healthier food choices. She was astonished at how quickly her body shifted from wanting sugar to wanting wholesome food. She also found that she actually wanted to exercise, which she hadn’t done since high school. As she began to eat clean and exercise regularly, she was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the weight began to melt away and how much happier was. She expressed her deepest appreciation as she embraced her new way of life with joy and gladness in her heart.

Kyra was highly successful in creating the body of her dreams because she lived what she learned; she had an open heart, and she followed through with what she committed to do. When she came to me she was eager to change and was willing to let go of her limiting emotions. She was able to achieve her goal of losing more than one hundred pounds in less than a year and a half, which greatly improved her quality of life.

She was beaming with pride when she came to visit me again a year after she’d completed her coaching with me. I was so excited to see her; she looked like an entirely different person! She radiated self-love and exuded joy and happiness. She expressed how proud she was of herself and said that she felt like she had a new lease on life. She was incredibly inspiring to all who knew her, so much so that she even began helping other women shrink their body weights too by starting her own weight-loss club. Her body transformed beautifully once she appreciated and came to love all that she was.

You too have all that is needed to believe in all that you are and create the body of your dreams. You deserve to be all that you want to be. As you move forward, do yourself a huge favor and stop comparing yourself to others. Your journey is special and unique. If you compare yourself to others, you will never feel good enough to rise to your potential. In preference look for all the improvements that your body has made both physically and emotionally and appreciate the progress you make. The more you focus on the positive, and focus on progress and not perfection, the sooner you will become that which you want to be.

To help you prepare your mind to embrace your health and wellness journey, write down on the lines below or in a notebook how amazing you are and why you deserve to be healthier and in shape. Then write down how you desire to be three to six months from now—in detail.

By writing these statements in the present tense, you will affirm your desires to take inspired action to truly create the body of your dreams!

Chapter 24

Living a LivFit Lifestyle

Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn’t formed in a day, and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.

~ Lee Haney

Now that you know how to begin to create the body of your dreams, you can now start living a LivFit Lifestyle that you can sustain for life. Living a LivFit Lifestyle is just that—a lifestyle! It’s not a diet or a quick-fix weight-loss strategy (although you will release weight rather quickly). It’s a way of life that will improve all aspects of you. It’s dedicating your desire to bettering your body and way of life.

Living a LivFit Lifestyle will touch all aspects of your life, not just your health and well-being. It has a ripple effect, just like a pebble does when you toss it into a pond and the rippling goes on and on. When you’re living a LivFit Lifestyle, your inner power and highly esteemed example ripple out and impress all who know you. I can’t express fully the never-ending benefits that come from committing to living a fit way of life; it will impact and expand your life in miraculous ways.

You may be wondering, “What does living a LivFit Lifestyle mean?” It means to honor all that you are, to love yourself fully and unconditionally, to have a positive mental attitude, to eat clean (healthy), to exercise regularly, and to have a heart filled with thankfulness and charity. It really is a way of life. Most people who think about living a fit life think of it as, “I have to work out and eat clean—period.” Well, that’s only a fraction of what living my LivFit Lifestyle means. When you incorporate a LivFit Lifestyle, essentially what you are committing to is stepping up to the plate to fulfill all that you were meant to be. It’s about loving life to the fullest and believing in all that you are to shift your body image and paradigms to want to eat healthy and exercise. Having a healthy, fit body is the icing on the cake. Your self-love, acceptance, and devotion to living your truth is the cake. All the chapters that led up to this chapter were stepping-stones to enable you to truly create the body and life of your dreams, which can be done when you embrace living a LivFit Lifestyle.

Living a LivFit Lifestyle in regards to exercise doesn’t mean that you have to have a hard body or work out for hours a day; it means to live within your own personal fitness comfort zone. What’s best for one person isn’t always best for another, and what one person sets for her goals aren’t the same as the goals someone else sets. Living a LivFit Lifestyle is simply choosing how you want to be, whether you simply want to release a few extra pounds to fit into a smaller dress size or have a six-pack.

Living a LivFit Lifestyle means to live well by being positive, eating clean, and exercising regularly. You don’t have to train hard or even lift weights if that doesn’t appeal to you. It’s living an active lifestyle and eating healthy, whole foods in addition to having a positive mental attitude.

As you embrace your wondrous fitness and wellness journey, do so with gladness and thankfulness in your heart for all that you are. Have an optimistic attitude and enjoy your new journey; make it fun by doing exercises you enjoy. And get in the habit of looking for progress along the way. After all, if the living a LivFit Lifestyle isn’t enjoyable and satisfying, then why do it? I sure wouldn’t want to waste my time living a fit and healthy lifestyle if I didn’t feel better by doing so, and I’m sure you wouldn’t either.

Allowing yourself to live a healthy lifestyle is truly a treasured gift that only you can give to you. It’s a gift to cherish and to respect. In my opinion, living a LivFit Lifestyle is the fountain of youth. Even though I’m not in my thirties anymore, I feel like I am, and I’m constantly told that I look at least ten years younger than my actual age. It always makes me smile when people guess my age and are way off! When I tell them how old my kids are, they laugh and say that they would never have guessed it. Because I care for my body and love who I am, my body naturally ages slower than someone who is always stressed and is filled with self-doubt.

I absolutely love living a LivFit Lifestyle and relish in all the joy it brings to my life. I seriously love everything about it! I love the way I feel, the way I fit in jeans, how empowered I am, the energy I have, and the peacefulness it brings. I even like eating clean (I’ll explain what that means in detail in Chapter 25), and I enjoy exercising five to six days a week. However, all of this wouldn’t be possible if I didn’t have a positive body image and a positive attitude about living a healthy lifestyle. When you truly love everything about yourself and do your best to be positive, you end up having a healthier, happier body, which once again, is an expression of you! Everything about living a LivFit Lifestyle has improved my quality of life in countless ways. I’ve been living my LivFit Lifestyle for more than twenty years and have valued every minute of it!

Know Your “Whys”

Living a LivFit Lifestyle evokes empowerment, commitment, determination, and strength. It’s a life-changing journey of self-discovery and enlightenment that enables your wondrous body to become all that it was meant to be: strong, thin, healthy, peaceful, and happy. When you truly embrace living a LivFit Lifestyle, your life and body will expand in wondrous ways. You will begin to release weight quickly, you will have more energy, you will have a higher self-esteem, and you will be a great example to all who know you. You will not only feel awesome, but you will look awesome!

The first step before you begin your LivFit journey is to dig deep down and answer the question why? Why do you want to get in shape? Do you want to shed weight for yourself, or is someone close to you pushing you to? If you are trying to get into a smaller pant size because someone is pressuring you, then it will be next to impossible for you to achieve long-lasting weight loss. You may go on a diet and lose weight for a bit, but you will most likely gain it all back plus more in the months that follow as your subconscious goes into overdrive protecting you from lack and deprivation. Living a fit lifestyle comes by being true to your heart’s desires. In order to be successful at transforming your way of life by living a LivFit Lifestyle, you have to do it for you and only you. The benefits for doing so will have a rippling effect on your family and friends, who will become inspired to improve their ways of life too.

If you don’t know your whys, then take a few minutes to write down your reasons why you want to reduce your size, gain weight, or get in shape. Whatever you wish to improve, you need to know why before you commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle. Otherwise, your mind will run amuck, and before you know, it you may talk yourself out of it. Keep in mind that if you want to get rid of extra weight because someone is pressuring you to or because you were always told as a child that you need to lose weight, then that is actually not your why. Rather, that is an “I have to if I want to be loved” mentality, which will only frustrate you even more when you don’t lose the weight you desire.

Remember, you need to have a positive environment for your body to thrive, which means letting go of all the naysayers’ voices in your head as they echo in your mind, telling you what you need to do. Living a LivFit Lifestyle comes from being true to yourself by wanting to get in shape for you and only you. Just as the saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink,” so it is with living a LivFit Lifestyle. If you aren’t doing it one hundred percent for yourself, then you’ll fight doing it subconsciously and will come up with all kinds of excuses as to why you just can’t. Until you come to want to improve your quality of life and get into shape, it will be a constant struggle, and you’ll end up giving up. And, on the flip side, the more you love, respect, and appreciate all that you are, the more you will come to yearn to eat healthier and to be more active.

Take a few minutes to jot down your reasons why you want to improve your health and wellness. You can write your reasons on the lines below or in a notebook. Truly contemplate why you want to improve your body, health, and wellness. Once you write down your whys, reread them as often as necessary to reassure yourself that you deserve to live a higher quality of life by living a LivFit Lifestyle.

Leave Your Excuses Behind

I hear all kinds of excuses about why people are overweight and why they simply don’t have time to exercise and eat healthy. I constantly listen to the same type of excuses, such as “I’m too busy to prepare meals and to work out.” Then without fail, they end up telling me how they wish they were thin and in shape. It doesn’t surprise me when I hear them complaining about how yucky and fat they feel; it’s no wonder they feel that way when they eat poorly and fail to exercise. As I listen with a smile on my face, I allow them to lead our conversation, which always leads to questions about how they can improve their health by incorporating diet and exercise into their lives.

I’m always willing to offer diet tips and tricks, as I’m passionate about helping others achieve their dreams, and I’m always happy to give advice; however, if their desire to improve their health and wellness isn’t a high enough priority, then it doesn’t matter what I say or do—nothing in their lives will change. Even though I want to empower everyone who reaches out to me, I can’t truly give them assistance if they’re focused on all of their reasons for what’s “stopping” them from living a higher quality of life.

The more you leave your excuses behind and put yourself first in your life—and not in a selfish, egotistical way but in a loving, sincere, caring way—the sooner you will come to believe in your ability to achieve your fitness dreams. It all comes down to caring enough about you to take charge of your health and wellness now! As with everything in life, you have to prioritize what’s most important to you. Just as caring for your loved ones is a high priority, your self-care should be a high priority for you as well. You can’t be your best for anyone else if you don’t put yourself first and care for yourself as you deserve to be cared for.

If improving your health and wellness is a top priority, then, without a doubt, you will set time aside during the week to exercise and eat healthily. Just as you schedule an important meeting at work or a luncheon with a dear friend, schedule time to work out and prepare healthy meals. If it’s important enough to you, then you will want to make the time to incorporate exercise and preparing healthy meals throughout each week.

I set aside time each morning, Monday through Saturday, to exercise. I even schedule my meetings and appointments around my training schedule. If I don’t set the time aside, I’ll run out of time at the end of the day and be too tired to exercise. I make exercise a top priority in my life. I totally understand having a full and busy day; however, exercising is an absolute must in my life, and I make sure I fit it into my schedule regardless of how busy I am. If you fail to schedule time to exercise, you essentially plan to fail at accomplishing your fitness goals and dreams. Without planning and establishing the time to get in shape, your fitness desires will just be wannabe thinking, just like those people who talk to me about wanting to be fit but list their excuses as to why they can’t work out.

You have to decide what you want most. Do you want to feel incredibly healthy, sexy, and full of life? Or do you want to be lazy and just deal with your weight as you pour your heart into eating ice cream at night while lying on the couch watching TV? If you want to become your very best and be empowered, then commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle by making YOU a top priority in your life.

Embrace Living a LivFit Lifestyle

Did you know that your body was created to be active and needs to exercise just as much as it needs sleep and proper nutrition to function optimally? You weren’t born to be a couch potato. That’s actually the last thing your body wants—your body yearns to live energetically! The more you give your body what it needs, the healthier and happier you will be. Have you ever noticed that when you lie around watching TV all day or spend endless hours on a computer mindlessly that your body feels achy and sluggish when you stand up? That’s because your body was inactive for too long, which lowered your energy frequency vibration at a cellular level, leaving you feeling groggy, achy, and out of energy. That’s your body’s way of expressing to you that this isn’t how I was designed to be, let’s get moving!

If you really want to improve your health, then embrace living a LivFit Lifestyle. Make being positive, eating clean (healthy), exercising regularly, and being thankful high priorities in your life. You can start off slowly if you feel living a fit way of life is a bit too much to jump into all at once. By starting off slowly (if needed), you won’t feel overwhelmed and your subconscious will embrace living a healthier lifestyle rather than resist it. If you feel like you are too pressed for time, then wake up thirty minutes earlier, put your workout clothes on, and exercise at home first thing before you leave for work or care for your family or pets.

You don’t need a fancy gym membership to get in shape. You can work out in the comforts of your own home. All you need is a dedicated location, three sets of dumbbells, a full-sized mirror, an incline bench, a water bottle, and a towel to wipe off your sweat. And voila! You will have your very own home gym! Once you get into the groove of living a LivFit Lifestyle, you can always add onto your gym by buying more equipment such as a treadmill, stationary bike, or a cage workout machine.

I haven’t stepped foot in a public gym since I got engaged to my husband more than twenty years ago. My home gym is my favorite room in my house. When I’m working out, it’s my time. My family knows not to disturb me unless it’s absolutely necessary. I love having my own personal gym in my home! Now, if I can sculpt my body from a flabby, ailing frame into a lean, fit, sexy machine in the comforts of my own home then anyone can!

To begin living a LivFit Lifestyle, it’s quite simple. All you have to do is plan your meals in advance and exercise for at least thirty to sixty minutes (or twenty to thirty at first) Monday through Friday. You can do whatever form of exercise you enjoy. You can go for a speed walk in the morning, do cardio on an elliptical or stationary bike, or you can lift weights. It doesn’t matter what you do, just be sure to exercise on the days you plan to exercise, no matter what. Set time aside and then make a mental note to follow through. Within a short amount of time, you will soon discover that you will want to work out longer and harder because you will have more energy and endurance to do so.

By making exercise and eating clean a high priority, you will begin to feel powerful and on top of the world! I love how I feel when I work out. There’s seriously nothing quite like being lean and feeling strong. As you move forward, be patient with yourself. It takes time, dedication, and determination for anyone to achieve their fitness dreams. Give yourself some slack if you don’t exercise or when you have dessert after a meal. Remember, it’s a lifestyle, and it’s okay. If you want a treat now and again, have one—just don’t get carried away by eating everything in your pantry you can get your hands on. Make it a point to only eat one serving and not five.

Also give yourself time to incorporate living a LivFit Lifestyle into your daily life. It took years to create poor eating habits and it may take a few months to incorporate living a LivFit Lifestyle as a way of life. If you need to begin with small strides then do so. You can start off with going for a walk around your neighborhood each morning and eliminating white flour from your diet. Then, when that becomes a habit, you can take a step up and start doing cardio or weight lifting. Then, when that feels good, you can incorporate eating every three hours.

Do what you know you can do and be happy with your progress as you begin, and soon you’ll discover that you are making better food choices and moving more. Once you get the hang of it, living a LivFit Lifestyle will become a habit. Just like any other new habits you wish to create, it takes at least twenty-one days to ingrain the new behavior. So give yourself at least a month to incorporate living a fit lifestyle to make it a habit. If you don’t give yourself a chance to really incorporate the changes, you will most likely give up before you even give yourself a real chance to get started.

Eleven Tips to Begin Living a LivFit Lifestyle

Below are eleven tips to help get you started on the right foot with living a LivFit Lifestyle. As I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, take what you learn to heart and sincerely implement what resonates with you to enable you to manifest the life and body of your dreams.

Believe in You! The first step to successful weight loss is to truly believe that you deserve to have a healthy, strong body. You must acknowledge this and realize that you are already perfection. You have to believe in you to attain your goals. Doing so will literally enable you to release weight with less effort. Believe that you are praiseworthy and capable of achieving greatness.

Begin Today! Begin to live a LivFit Lifestyle today! Believe that you are worthy and that you can attain your goals. Believe that you can do it! Then tell all your family and friends about your new way of life and ask them to help encourage and support you in your quest to live a higher quality of life.

Set Short-Term Goals. Set goals that reflect your own personal desires for what you want to create. Set goals that you know you can achieve. Write down how you will accomplish your goals each day. If your goal is to exercise for twenty minutes a day, then write down exactly when and where you will exercise. Then follow through! When you keep your promises to yourself, it will empower you to create even bigger goals and dreams. Honor all that you are by keeping your word throughout the day. Once you reach your goals, celebrate by doing something that you love. Then create new short-term goals to achieve. You wouldn’t try to drive to California from New York without a map, so remember that setting and planning your fitness goals is a road map to achieving great success.

Check in with Your Emotions. Check in with your emotions throughout the day. You can either make or break your LivFit Lifestyle with just your emotions and attitude alone. It’s important not to brush your feelings under the rug. Take note of how you feel, and deal with your emotions. If you have jealousy, resentment, anger, fear, or frustration toward yourself or anyone else, these emotions will block your energy fields, which will make you feel tired, stressed, and depressed. Let those feelings go! Having negative feelings only harms you, not the person you are mad at. Strive to do your best to cultivate feelings of love, joy, gratitude, and empowerment. By being thankful and positive about yourself, you will have a firm foundation to reach your weight loss and fitness goals.

Create a Workout Plan. To live a LivFit Lifestyle, you need to incorporate an exercise routine into each week. I like to plan my week out on Sundays so each morning I’ll know exactly what I will be doing in my gym. Write down the exercises you plan to do in a workout log, and then write down what you actually do next to your planned exercise routine. Also write down how you felt and how you proud you are of yourself. Having a workout plan is vital to attaining fitness success.

Eat Often & Drink Up. Eat frequently. Aim to eat five to six small meals a day, consisting of a lean protein, complex carb, and a fibrous veggie or salad: have your three main meals and a snack in between. Eat every three hours to jump-start your metabolism and keep it burning optimally. See Chapter 25 for more information about what types of foods are best for your body. And always drink water throughout the day to keep your metabolism burning and to cleanse your body.

Log Your Success. Keeping a fitness and diet log of your successes is highly motivating. Keeping a special fitness journal is a fantastic tool to aid you in reaching your goals. Keep a log of your workout routines and meals daily. When logging your meals, also write down the emotions you felt that day. Pay attention to when you have cravings; was it when you were stressed or tired? Keeping track of your emotions will help you pinpoint what triggers cravings, and knowing is half the battle. Your food log is also a great place for positive affirmations about how amazing you are—make sure your affirmations are positive and in the present tense—and write them (and repeat them) while experiencing a vibration of creation.

Visualize Your Dream Body. Visualize yourself as though you have already achieved your goals. Use all five senses: see, feel, touch, hear, and even taste how awesome you will feel when you are in the best shape of your life. Visualization is a powerful tool to reprogram your subconscious mind into bringing to fruition that which your heart desires. Each day, take a few minutes to visualize. Look at photos that resemble your ideal body every day and visualize it as though the physique is yours now. Take progress photos of yourself each week and post them in your workout log so that you can see your progress along the way. Photos speak much louder than words.

Get Your Zzzs. Your body repairs your muscle tissue while you sleep, so getting quality sleep is an absolute must if you want to truly sculpt your body. Try to be in bed by 10:30 p.m. each night and wake up by 6:00 a.m. or 7:00 a.m. the next morning. By having a regular sleep routine, your body will fall asleep faster, and you will wake up feeling energized to work out.

Think Success! Believe in your success! Believe that YOU can achieve your goals no matter how big or small. Do not overwhelm yourself with lofty goals that seem truly unachievable before you even get started, by doing so you will only set yourself up for failure.

Read Success Stories. Read transformation success stories often. Bodybuilding.com has lots of success stories to choose from. They will inspire you and give you added strength to accomplish your goals and dreams. It’s an awesome feeling to set fitness and weight-loss goals and then achieve them. Always remember—it’s not the destination but the journey and the beautiful life lessons learned along the way.

Chapter 25

Eating Clean for Life

A healthy outside starts from the inside.

~ Robert Urich

You’ve probably heard of the phrase eating clean, as it’s a widespread topic of discussion these days in magazines and on the Internet and in gyms all over the world. Even though eating clean isn’t a new concept, it is prevalently talked about and with good reason. It’s based on eating a diet that increases energy, health, weight loss, and vitality by eating wholesome foods that are rich in nutrition and avoiding processed foods along with sugars, white flour, bad fats, and high sodium.

Eating clean is highly beneficial in many ways; it strengthens the immune system, decreases heart disease, increases the metabolism, aids in digestion, improves quality of sleep, supports fat loss, increases stamina, decreases risk of Type II diabetes, maintains and builds lean muscle mass, improves skin tone, makes hair shiny, aids in mental clarity, and increases a sense of well-being, to name a few.

Eating Clean is a Lifestyle

Some people may think of eating clean as a fad diet or even a quick-fix way to weight reduction (although it does aid in rapid weight loss). It’s quite the contrary—it’s a lifestyle. For fitness and health-conscious enthusiasts, eating clean is an essential part of their healthy lifestyles. I’ve been eating clean for more than twenty years; it’s the first thing I integrated into my new way of life when I began living a LivFit Lifestyle. As a result, I felt like a new woman; it greatly improved my life. I became healthier and had more zest for life, and I lost more than fifteen pounds to boot! After I experienced such outstanding results by simply eating clean within a short amount of time, I knew it was how I wanted to live my life from there on out and have been eating clean ever since.

I eat clean about ninety percent of the time; I too have down days now and again when I get really fatigued and sometimes let my “eating clean guard” down and fall off the “clean-eating wagon.” When I go days without eating clean, without exception, I feel downright awful! I get bloated, my head and stomach hurt, I feel sluggish, I’m irritable, I gain weight, I don’t feel sexy (which doesn’t make for fun night cuddling with my hubby), and I get frustrated with myself. My body lets me know LOUD and CLEAR that it’s not a happy camper!

But it doesn’t take me long to regroup and release the emotions that caused me to give into emotional eating in the first place and realize that it’s okay—I can start eating clean again with my next meal. I then start fresh by jumping back on the “clean-eating wagon,” and I don’t look back. It takes a good couple of days for me to really feel better both physically and emotionally after I overindulge, but once I’m back on track with eating clean, I always feel so much better, and my body thanks me for it too. I feel energetic and back to my carefree self, and I feel proud of myself for staying on target with living my LivFit Lifestyle.

If you are sick and tired of feeling sluggish and exhausted like I was, then do yourself a HUGE favor and throw away all the unclean “garbage” foods that are in your fridge, cupboards, and pantry and replace them with clean, wholesome foods that your body craves. Invite your family to join you in living a healthier way of life. If they’re not all gung-ho about it, then buy foods they normally eat and fill your pantry and refrigerator with delicious, healthy food for you. Fill your refrigerator with fresh fruits and veggies, eggs, and clean cuts of meats. Buy raw almonds and walnuts and always have complex carbs on hand such as old-fashioned oats, brown rice, and yams.

And for your husband and family—if they’re not giving you “two thumbs up” on agreeing to eat healthier, then rather than have junk food around that tempts you, replace it with homemade treats such as whole wheat oatmeal chocolate chip cookies or no bake cookies, both of which are high in nutrition and fiber. Just as self-help guru Anthony Robbins said, “The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.” He couldn’t have said it better; it’s true. When you care for and honor your body by eating wholesome foods, you really do feel better and have more energy. And when you feel good you are more likely to be your best in all that you do.

So if you are serious about wanting to step it up and get in better physical condition, then take eating clean to heart and decide here and now to incorporate it as part of your new healthy lifestyle. It’s not as difficult as you may think. Eating clean is pretty simple actually; it’s basically eating whole foods that are unrefined and unprocessed. It’s a delicious diet filled with fresh veggies, fruits, lean meats, nuts, eggs, berries, and clean fats. The main goal of eating clean is to fuel the body with foods that enable it to function optimally. It’s also an exceptional way to release fat and build muscle, and it’s also a phenomenal anti-aging diet.

So now that you are on board with eating clean, plan on eating more than you usually do—yes, you heard me right. You will be eating regularly to keep your metabolism going strong and to keep your blood sugar level consistent. Plan to eat a small meal every three to four hours, consisting of lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, fresh veggies, or a piece of fruit with a bit of clean fat that is high in omegas such as flax seed, olive oil, avocado, walnuts, or fish oil for two of your main meals. Eating this food combination is essential to ensure you will get the macronutrients your body needs to keep you going strong as well as keep your metabolism running in high gear. Think of it as simply eating your three main meals and having healthy snacks in between. You may be thinking that it sounds like a hassle to eat so often, but actually eating often is easy to incorporate into your lifestyle once you get the hang of it. (I’ll show you how to do just that in a moment.) To assist you in understanding what eating clean means here are some basic guidelines and what it involves.

Eating a wide variety of wholesome foods

Eating a small meal every three to four hours that consists of protein, a complex carb, and fresh veggies or a piece of fruit

Practicing portion control (a portion size of protein and complex carbs is the about the size of the palm of your hand)

Drinking up to a gallon of purified water daily

Eating clean fats that are high in omegas, monounsaturated, and polyunsaturated fats: ground flaxseed, olive oil, fish oil, almonds, and walnuts

Avoiding white flour, sugar, and high-sodium foods

Avoiding saturated fat and trans fats

Avoiding empty calories found in fast foods, processed foods, juices, sodas, sugary/salty snacks, junk foods, and sugars

So there you have it! As you can see, eating clean really is quite simplistic. Basically, you fill your grocery cart with what’s healthy for you and leave what’s not on the grocery store shelves. As I often tell my clients when explaining what to eat when beginning a clean diet, “If God didn’t make it, don’t eat it!” All that means is to eat foods grown from the earth in their natural state as well as eating lean meats. Basically, processed foods are not on a clean diet list.

How to Stay Focused

People often ask me how I stay focused on eating clean year after year, and I just smile and reply, “I don’t eat clean because I have to—I eat clean because I get to.” It’s a part of my lifestyle that I thoroughly enjoy, which makes me want to eat clean. Frequently I hear people comment that eating clean is way too restrictive, as they see it as a form of deprivation, when in fact, it’s a wonderful way of eating. Who doesn’t like fresh food that’s not processed and filled with ingredients you can hardly pronounce? Eating clean offers an overflowing variety of foods to choose from that are delectable and highly satisfying. You may be one who thinks, “Eating clean is way too hard to do,” but in truth, it’s not—that’s only your perception. If you change the way you think about eating healthy, you will feel differently about it. Once again, your perception is everything. How you perceive eating clean will either make you want to eat clean or prevent you from even contemplating it.

If you see eating wholesome, clean foods as being something that is difficult to do and something that takes mega willpower, then guess what? You are right, it will be. However, if you see eating clean as a gift of health, wellness, and longevity; if you come to appreciate the opportunity to eat clean; if you choose to think of eating healthy as a pleasure and think, “I get to eat clean,” then your mind will see it as worthwhile and valuable, which will increase your desire to want to eat clean. This is where practicing having a positive mindset comes into play. If you are not doing so well with the idea of being positive about eating clean, reread Chapter 15 to help you refocus your intention to be positive about eating healthy, whole foods.

When you commit to eating clean, it doesn’t mean you have to eat clean all day every day. In fact, it is best to have one “treat meal,” otherwise known as a cheat meal, once a week, which means you can eat whatever you want for that one meal. Now that doesn’t mean to go all out and binge; it means to have a high-carb meal or a dessert. Eating a treat meal will keep you from feeling deprived and will stimulate your fat-burning hormones. So don’t despair, you can have high-calorie meals and treats now and again—but don’t go overboard or you will become frustrated and dissatisfied with yourself.

You may not realize it, but innately you already know just how beneficial it is for your body to eat clean. If you had the choice to go out to eat at any restaurant to celebrate a special event, you most likely would choose a fancy restaurant that offers an array of fresh salads, deliciously grilled meats, and tasty vegetables. You wouldn’t choose a fast food restaurant that leaves you feeling yucky after you eat. That’s because your body already knows that wholesome foods are what’s best for you, and that’s why you would choose to eat at a high-quality restaurant.

If you think of eating clean as a way of life rather than a diet, your mind will be more open to receiving the concept of eating wholesome foods often throughout the day. Keep in mind that the subconscious mind doesn’t like lack or deprivation in any way, shape, or form, and if you feel that way about eating clean, it will result in falling off the “clean-eating wagon” before you even give yourself a real chance to get started. If you’ve been a yo-yo dieter, you know what I mean. The thought of restricting yourself from having the foods you want makes you think about those forbidden foods over and over again, which ultimately forces you to succumb to your craving, and you will end up overeating and feeling bloated and discouraged afterward.

For instance, if I tell you can’t have your favorite ice cream sundae topped with hot fudge and nuts, what’s the first thing you think of? The ice cream sundae. You are probably thinking of having a sweet snack right now because you are thinking about eating an ice cream sundae. Now when I tell you that for lunch you get to have a delicious salad made with fresh field greens, romaine lettuce, and spinach with perfectly grilled chicken on the side, freshly sliced veggies, crisp red onions, feta cheese, and roasted pecans on top, and drizzled with a light balsamic vinegar salad dressing, you are probably thinking, “That sounds delicious, now I really do want a salad.” When a sugary treat and the healthy treat have the same mouthwatering imagery, it’s easy to perceive a salad as being appetizing. So it is with eating a clean diet. The more you look at it as a pleasure in your life, the more you will naturally crave eating wholesome foods.

Preparing Your Pantry for Clean Eating

Now that your mouth is watering for healthy foods, I bet you want to spring clean your pantry and refrigerator. In fact, you really should! You can’t eat what you don’t have, and you won’t be tempted to eat junk food if it’s out of sight. The first step to incorporating a clean diet into your life is to clear your pantry, cupboards, refrigerator, and freezer of all junk foods, including white flour, white sugar, shortening, high-sodium foods, and foods that come in a box—they are toxic to your body and have little to no nutritional value.

While you’re at it, get rid of packaged foods that are processed with high fructose corn syrup and trans fats, which are harmful to your body. If you don’t know what food contains, then read the labels! If you don’t know what an ingredient is or can’t pronounce it or if it has preservatives, throw it out! Get in the habit of reading labels and aim to buy foods that have six ingredients or less. Any foods that tempt you to binge should also be out the door. (On a side note: many of us binge without even realizing it. If you sit in front of the TV or behind the computer with chips, candy, and soda and eat mindlessly, you are binging. Or when you come home from a stressful day at work and eat anything you can get your hands on to the point of feeling stuffed and bloated, you are binging. Your body wasn’t designed to eat a lot of food at once; it was created to eat a small meal every few hours. That’s why you feel so awful when you overeat.) Okay, back to cleaning out your pantry and refrigerator. While you are at it, get rid of all sugary drinks too, including fruit juices, which are loaded with sugar. Replace them with fruit and berries that are highly satisfying and delicious. Fruits and berries are loaded with fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants; however, keep in mind that not all fruits are created equal on the glycemic index scale, which means some make your insulin spike more than others. Many fruits, such as bananas, oranges, and grapes, have more fructose than low glycemic index fruits, such as an apple. Fructose also may cause an insulin spike and will most likely spill over as fat if not used as energy, whereas apples, grapefruit, and blueberries are lower in fructose and they digest more slowly. The best time to eat fruit is before noon, when you are most active, or for your pre-workout and post-workout meals in addition to a having a whey protein drink.

When I began my eating clean for life journey, I literally got a trash bag and threw away any foods that had trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, and high sodium. I was serious about getting rid of any food that was “manmade”; it felt great to spring clean my pantry and start fresh. Then I went grocery shopping and filled my grocery cart with whole grains, fresh fruits, veggies, eggs, whey protein powder, Ezekiel bread, avocados, whole-wheat bread, raw almonds, tuna, and boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I was well prepared to make my five to six healthy meals a day…and I still shop that way today.

I’m all about having food prepared ahead of time. I make my meals in advance by cooking a bunch of boneless skinless chicken breasts or chicken tenders (I cut all the fat off) in a large crockpot to have protein readily available for my meals for the next couple of days. I also have a big salad prepared along with cut veggies in my refrigerator so I can eat healthy even when I’m in a hurry. You can do the same. If you’re well-prepared, you will always have healthy food choices available so you won’t make excuses as to why you don’t have time to eat clean.

Once you jump on board with eating clean, you will be eating a small meal every few hours. Eating often will balance your hormones and sugar levels when you eat properly. If you are someone who skips meals, including breakfast, in hopes of losing weight faster, you are going about it the wrong way. Skipping meals causes your body to slow down its metabolism and throws off your hormones as it automatically thinks it’s going into starvation mode, which causes your body to hold on to fat. So by skipping meals, what you are actually doing is decreasing your metabolic rate, which causes the body to gain weight—and you don’t want that!

Not only should you eat about every three hours to keep your metabolism and hormones in check, but you should eat at the same time each day. When you wake up, eat within the first hour to get your metabolism running in high gear, and then pay close attention to when you eat and make a mental note about when your next meal is. I advise my clients to set alarms on their phones to remind them to eat if they tend to forget to eat—you can do the same. When you eat at the same time each day, it will program your body to utilize the foods you eat for energy.

Eating the right foods and timing when we eat is also highly important for keeping our bodies in hormonal balance to be healthy as well. Hormones play an integral role in how we feel; these hormones include insulin, sex, mood, and stress, which all influence our weight. You can help balance your hormones by eating a nutritious diet. When our hormones are off, we gain weight easier, and when our hormones are balanced, we naturally release weight and are able to maintain a healthy weight.

Can you see the importance of a proper diet? Every aspect of our body is dependent on what we eat. If you eat junk food all day, you’re throwing your body out of whack, which is why you don’t feel good after you eat it. You can manipulate your hormones through the food you eat and how often you eat. Eating every three hours and having protein with every meal is eating how your body was designed to eat, which also helps keep your hormones in check. Eating clean is not only healthy, but it also balances your hormones—how awesome is that?

What to Eat

I bet you’re anxious to know which foods to eat. I’ll get to that in just a moment, but first I want you to visualize yourself eating clean and imagine how great you’ll feel. (Use the techniques I explained in Chapter 19.) See yourself buying fresh produce and preparing healthy salads and delicious baked chicken with lightly steamed veggies on the side and some delicious brown rice with a dash of your favorite herbs and sea salt. Visualize yourself enjoying each delicious bite. Can you sense how much your body craves eating clean? It’s truly an empowering way to live. When you feel good, you look good, and when you look good, your self-confidence also improves. Every aspect of eating clean is beneficial to you in immeasurable ways. Clean foods have more nutrition, fiber, vitamins, and minerals and are low in calories and fat.

So with that said, realize that eating clean is not complicated. By eating every three to four hours, your new way of eating will keep you going strong and will keep your metabolism running in high gear throughout the day. As you begin eating clean for life, always do so with a positive mental attitude. Imagine yourself loving to eat clean as often as necessary to help shift your mind from thinking that it’s too hard to incorporate into your lifestyle.

Another big aspect of eating clean is practicing portion control. You can’t eat clean if you have a “king size” appetite. Eating the right portion size is essential to attaining the body you are striving for. As a rule of thumb, think of your plate as if it’s divided into thirds. You can use your hand as serving size guideline. A serving size is about the size of the palm of your hand for meat and protein, and a serving size for complex carbs is the size of a clenched fist. Have a third of your plate filled with protein, another third filled with a complex carb, and the remaining third filled with veggies or a salad, with a serving of clean fat either taken by supplementation or drizzled over your meat and veggies or salad with lunch and dinner. You can have all the veggies your heart desires.

So now that you know how much to eat, let’s get down to what food combinations are best when eating clean. As stated, protein needs to be eaten with each and every meal and snack. Protein is critical for building and maintaining lean muscle tissue, which will raise your basal metabolic rate, burning more calories at rest. Proteins are made up of amino acids, which are the building blocks of lean muscle tissue and which aid in raising the metabolism. Protein controls nearly all the molecular processes of the body, and the enzymes found in protein are the catalysts for metabolism and provide the amino acids our bodies can’t make naturally.

So if you want to build muscle and burn more fat, then you need to eat about twenty to twenty-five grams of protein with each meal and snack. It may sound like a lot, but it really isn’t. A piece of meat with that much protein is about the size of the palm of your hand, five egg whites with one egg yolk is about that much, and a scoop of protein powder is typically twenty-five grams. The proteins and meats you’ll want to stock up on are:

Lean red meat (eat sparingly)

Skinless chicken breast

Skinless turkey breasts

Tuna

White fish and salmon

Eggs (Particularly the albumin—egg whites. When eating eggs, have one yolk with four egg whites.)

Fat free cottage cheese and ricotta cheese (eat sparingly as they are high in sodium and emulsifiers)

Whey protein powder

In addition to eating protein, your diet will include complex carbohydrates (carbs), which fuel your body and mind to have more energy. Carbs also help shuffle amino acids from the protein into your muscles. Complex carbs are not fast-digesting like sugar or white flour, which spike your insulin and pack on the pounds. Complex carbs break down slowly, which aids in balancing blood sugar so you don’t have highs and lows in your energy. The complex carbs that are best to keep your body going strong are:

Whole grains

Green beans

Brown rice

Yams

Pumpkin

Whole wheat pasta

Cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage)

Low glycemic veggies (peppers, cucumbers, celery, romaine lettuce, spinach, tomatoes mushrooms, zucchini, lettuce, squash)

Whole oats

Apples

Blueberries

Strawberries

Pears

Berries

Grapefruit

Now onto clean fats, which are needed in addition to protein and complex carbs for your body to actually burn fat and build muscle. Eating clean fat is important for optimal anabolic hormone levels. In particular, omegas and fatty acids, which are the powerhouses of clean fats. Omegas are needed for building healthy cells to sustain optimal health and wellness in addition to warding off illness and inflammation. Your body cannot naturally produce these fats, so you will need to consume them in your clean diet.

Clean fats are high in the omega fatty acids omega-3, omega-6, and omega-9, which are considered “essential” fatty acids. Omega-3 and omega-6 aren’t synthesized in the body and therefore, need to be ingested through foods and/or supplements. In addition, omega-9 will only be synthesized in the body if there is enough omega-3 and omega-6. You need twice as much omega-6 as you do omega-3, so when buying omega supplements look for a 2:1 ratio. Other clean fats are monounsaturated fats found in oils and nuts, for example, oleic acid, which is considered a healthy fat since it has a positive effect on blood lipid profile (HDL:LDL). You can take omega supplements or eat foods that are high in clean fats, which consist of:

Ground flax seed/oil

Extra virgin olive oil

Walnuts

Almonds

Avocados

Fish oil

All natural peanut butter

All natural almond butter

Chia seeds

For added flavoring, be mindful of hidden sugars, sodium, and fats in your condiments of choice. Avoid sauces such as barbeque sauce, which is full of sugar, or soy sauce, which is full of sodium, and salad dressing, which is full of fat, all of which will keep you from attaining the lean physique you may desire. Rather, reach for healthy seasonings (without added salt) such as Mrs. Dash salt-free spices, dried spices, fresh herbs, and balsamic vinegars and Truvia or honey for a sweetener. Below are additional options you can use to spice up your meals.

Mustard

Garlic

Balsamic vinegar

Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg’s is my favorite) Mushrooms

Onions

Dry seasonings

Fresh Herbs

Scallions

Sea Salt

Honey

Cinnamon & Nutmeg

Truvia (made from Stevia) for a sweetener Garlic

Peppers

Everyone knows that eating a low-fat diet and exercising daily will shed fat as well as keep a lean physique, but a lot of people don’t know how to cut down on fat and sugar when they cook and bake. Listed below are a few examples of how to eat smarter without sacrificing flavor.

Low-Fat Cooking & Baking Tips

Use olive oil cooking spray in place of butter Use extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil and balsamic vinegar for salad dressing Use Truvia—it’s an all-natural sweetener

When baking, use butter in place of Crisco (your body knows how to process butter) and use only one quarter to one half the fat called for in any recipe Use organic non-sweetened applesauce in place of butter when baking—it makes for a light, fluffy texture Use whole wheat or oat flour in place of white flour Have Ezekiel bread in place of white bread Use cinnamon to add flavor and keep your blood sugar level in check Use spices and herbs in place of sauces—be creative and mix various spices for more flavors Use light almond milk in place of milk—it has fewer calories as well as less sugar Use fresh salsa mixed with fat-free cottage cheese for dip Use fresh cut veggies in place of chips and have them with salsa Eat clean, lean, fat-free meats in place of high-fat meats Cut all excess fat off of chicken and red meats Cook hamburger and ground turkey meat in water and drain off all the fat and rinse Use sea salt in place of table salt

For a snack to satisfy a sweet tooth, have frozen berries mixed with vanilla protein powder and a dash of cinnamon or low-fat yogurt Eat raw nuts and seeds with an apple for a crunchy treat For a salty snack, use air-popped popcorn with fat-free butter spray and cinnamon—it’s high in fiber, light, and also has antioxidant benefits These are just a few examples of how to eat fewer calories without feeling deprived. By cooking and baking low fat, you will not only reduce your weight and feel great but you will find that you begin to feel more invigorated too. Use these simple cooking and baking tips and tricks as you incorporate eating clean for life.

Sample Eating Clean Menu

Creating a weekly meal menu will help you stay focused and prepared as you embark on your new eating lifestyle. I always create a meal menu a few days in advance for convenience and make a trip to the grocery store to be prepared to make my meals. Below is a sample of one of my LivFit daily menus. You can use this for an example of what to eat. You can mix and match the foods listed above or you can add other highly nutritious foods as well to have balanced meals to fuel your body with the building blocks it needs to build muscle and burn fat.

The sample meals listed have proteins and a complex carb. A protein serving is about twenty to twenty-five grams and a complex carb serving is about fifteen to twenty grams.

Meal One (Breakfast): Old-fashioned oats, cooked in water and light almond milk with a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg, with five scrambled egg whites and one yolk on the side (use sea salt for flavoring) Meal Two (Snack): Whey protein shake made with water, light almond milk, and dash of cinnamon and nutmeg with ¼ cup blueberries Meal Three (Lunch): Lean chicken breast with a spinach and romaine salad mixed with fresh veggies, one tablespoon of flaxseed oil, and balsamic vinegar for dressing Meal Four (Snack): Fat-free cottage cheese mixed with blueberries and eight raw almonds Meal Five (Dinner): White Fish, small baked yam, and steamed broccoli drizzled with EVOO and favorite seasoning Meal Six (Optional Snack): Fat-free cottage cheese or protein drink and eight almonds (eat your last meal at least three hours before bedtime) When eating clean, make it a point to have your last meal of the day by 7:00 p.m.—consider the kitchen closed after that. If you get hungry, have a big glass of water or a protein drink or a small serving of fat-free cottage cheese or Greek yogurt to satiate you two to three hours before bed. Eating slow-digesting protein such as cottage cheese or egg whites with one yolk will aid in building and sustaining muscle growth through the night.

Health Benefits of Drinking Water

Water is often overlooked as an essential part of the fitness equation. Too many people run around all day and forget to drink water. Drinking at least eighty to one hundred ounces of water daily has many health benefits. Not only does it keep your cells hydrated and your organs cleansed by removing toxins and waste, but it also curbs cravings and raises the metabolism, inducing weight loss. Water hydrates the skin, which will make you look younger. When the body is well hydrated, it has more energy and vitality as well.

When you are craving a snack or a pick-me-up treat in the middle of the afternoon, typically it’s actually your body signaling it needs to be hydrated. If you drink at least fifteen ounces of water and then chew gum or brush your teeth, your mind will realize that the needs were met and the hunger pangs will go away.

If you want to perform at your best during exercise, keep your body hydrated throughout your training. Sweating away even one percent of your body weight (a pound and a half for a hundred-and-fifty-pound person) can place added stress on your cardiovascular system and will induce fatigue, which can impair your performance in the gym. Dehydration can also affect your mental sharpness, causing a fog-like feeling as well as impaired hand-eye coordination.

The American College of Sports Medicine recommends the following guidelines for keeping the body hydrated:

Before Exercise: Drink at least sixteen ounces of fluid about two hours beforehand.

During Exercise: Drink five to ten ounces every fifteen to twenty minutes.

After Exercise: Drink sixteen ounces for each pound of body weight lost during activity.

To increase energy and stamina in the gym, drink branch chain amino acids (BCAAs) in your water. You can buy it in flavored powder form (which I prefer) or in pill form. It will help ensure your body is getting the needed building blocks to repair and maintain muscle mass, thus keeping you in an anabolic state (muscle building). You can also mix in Green_20, by Liv International, which is made of chlorophyll, fulvic minerals, and peppermint for added pH balance and energy.

So don’t forget to drink up! Do as I do and take a water bottle with you everywhere you go—be sure to drink purified water. (If you don’t have a water filter you can buy a gallon water purifier at Wal-Mart or Target.) I never leave my home or even walk into my office in my home without having my water bottle in hand. My kids have picked up on my example, and they take water bottles to school with them. By having a water bottle with you at all times, it will help you drink more water throughout the day, which does your body good!

It’s not uncommon to forget to drink water when you are constantly on the run. However, make it another top priority in your life. Drinking up to a gallon of purified water is an important aspect of living a LivFit Lifestyle. Not only does it keep you well-hydrated and flush toxins out of your body, but adequate hydration also raises your metabolism and acts as an appetite suppressant. Oftentimes we think we’re hungry when we’re actually just parched. If you find that you are hungry before your next planned meal rolls around, have a tall glass of water and chew some gum. After ten minutes, if you are still hungry, have a few raw almonds to satiate you until you are at your next meal.

If you choose to make water your choice of beverage, you will naturally thirst for it over other beverages. I personally prefer to drink flavored water. You can add flavor to your water if you prefer, such as adding a squirt of lemon juice or adding Truvia or Mio, a water-flavoring enhancer. My choice of added flavor is Green_20 and powdered BCAAs added to my water bottle. It’s so tasty that it’s like a treat, and my body is fueled with the nutrients it needs to sustain my lean body. It to top it off, it’s more satisfying than soda and raises my metabolism—it doesn’t get much better than that!

Make sure to drink at least eighty ounces of purified water daily to keep yourself well hydrated and to burn fat faster. Carry a water bottle with you in your car and keep one at work as I do. To help you drink water throughout the day, follow the tips below to keep you well hydrated and your metabolism running in high gear.

How to Increase Your Water Intake

Carry a water bottle with you. Get in the habit of carrying around a water bottle with you everywhere you go.

Add lemon to your water. If you prefer some flavor, add a squirt of lemon juice to your water.

Keep it cold. You’ll be more inclined to reach for a nice cold drink when on the run. Add ice to your water bottle to keep it tasting fresh.

Keep a gallon of water in your refrigerator. Keep a gallon of water in your refrigerator so you will know how much you’ve drank throughout the day.

Have a full glass of water in your bathroom at night. Have a full thirty-two ounce glass of water next to your sink when you go to bed. Then, when you get up in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning, drink the water. Aim to drink it all before you eat breakfast.

Bonus Tip: Drink Liv SXinney

As I mentioned earlier, I absolutely love to drink flavored water. One thing that really helped me to drink more water was when I began drinking a chlorophyll drink called Liv SXinney by Liv International. I was introduced to it a few years ago by a dear friend, and I haven’t stopped drinking it since. It aids in weight loss and helps keep the body pH balanced. Liv International has since come out with other chlorophyll products that I love just as much, one of which is Green_20, which I mainly drink now. My family also enjoys Green_20. We prefer the mint flavor; it’s delicious and refreshing. My kids add it to their water bottles for school, and they say it helps them think better and have more energy.

I’ve been a big fan of Liv International ever since I began to reap the benefits of drinking Liv SXinney years ago. It helped me release the last few pounds that I wanted to drop, and it has helped me maintain my lean physique. I love drinking Liv SXinney in my water for many reasons; it tastes delicious and is highly refreshing (I like the mint flavor here too), and it’s made of chlorophyllins, fulvic minerals, and antioxidants, which also aid in weight loss. In fact, since I began drinking Liv SXinney and GO Nitrimax (an l-arginine supplement by Liv International) in my water, my lean physique went from fit to ripped! Seriously! Liv SXinney, Green_20, and GO Nitrimax are my all-time favorite supplements for health, vitality, and weight loss. And to top it off, I feel more energized and vibrant when I use the products.

If you are one of the many people who fail to drink enough water, then you may want to incorporate drinking Liv SXinney in your LivFit Lifestyle as I have. All of my clients who drink Liv SXinney drink more water and reduce weight faster as I did, and it’s an enjoyable way to drink more water. It’s also very healthy, as it has chlorophyllins and fulvic minerals, which detox cells and aid in building healthy cells, giving you more energy throughout the day.

Living a LivFit Lifestyle for Life

Living a LivFit Lifestyle for life involves having a positive mindset, eating small, balanced meals every few hours, and practicing portion control in addition to exercising regularly and getting quality sleep each night. If you truly want to transform your physique and way of life to be empowered, then make living a LivFit Lifestyle a high priority in your life.

Living a LivFit Lifestyle is like drinking form the Fountain of Youth. It will enable you to achieve your ideal body weight and fitness goals in addition to looking and feeling years younger than you actually are—if you live it on a daily basis. Every aspect of your life will improve if you take your health and wellness seriously. You can’t become healthier, happier, and thinner if you only half-heartedly try. Be all that you desire by honoring your body and by being true to your desire to eat healthier. Believe in yourself and embrace eating clean. You really can become all that you wish to be!

Chapter 26

Staying Motivated & Dedicated

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

~ Norman Vincent Peale There’s nothing quite like being in shape and feeling great! It is highly satisfying to put on your favorite pair of skinny jeans and not have to “suck in” as you zip them up. Being fit is more than just a healthy way of being. It increases a sense of happiness, confidence, and well-being. And when you feel good physically, you look good physically. You radiate how you feel on the outside, which directly impacts the decisions you make and actions you take. When you feel good, your true beauty shines from the inside.

Being fit isn’t just for looks—it’s being empowered! It’s feeling confident in your own skin. Being fit is not only attractive, but it’s also incredibly invigorating! It brings about a sense of zest for life and a feeling of accomplishment and increased self-confidence like nothing else can. When you take time to care and love your body, it shows. Your energy is higher when you exercise or care for your body as you should. When you make exercising a top priority in your life, you are sending out powerful vibrations of love and honor for yourself, which will attract more loving and empowering life experiences. Once again, it’s the Law of Attraction in action. When you feel empowered, you are in your power. And when you are in your power, it’s as if your widespread energy is saying, “Step aside world, I’m coming through!” It’s seriously a tremendous feeling to be in your power and to feel and look your best.

Not only is being in shape empowering, but it will also increase willpower, fortitude, and determination to succeed in other areas of your life. When you honestly follow through with your own personal fitness goals, you will increase your faith in your own ability, which magnifies your imagination to accomplish more amazing endeavors. All because of your dedication to living a LivFit Lifestyle—it’s truly amazing!

Besides looking and feeling your best, living a LivFit Lifestyle will dramatically improve your quality of life by improving your health and wellness. My entire world transformed in miraculous ways when I full-heartedly embraced living a LivFit Lifestyle—I can’t imagine living any other way.

Think about exercising as a priceless treasure that only you can give to you. If you come to embrace exercise, you will feel the effects of your efforts. Your health will improve, you’ll go down in dress size, your organs won’t have to work so hard to function properly, and your sense of well-being will also increase. Not to mention you will be livelier and will have more vigor to do the things that you love to do. You will have more stamina to play with your children, family, and friends. You will have more self-confidence and self-belief, which will draw more wonderful things such as wealth and love into your life. And you will be happier too, which is “the key” to creating and manifesting your dreams. Everything that you aspire to be comes from being true to all that you are—which is accentuated by living a LivFit Lifestyle.

Incorporating a regular exercise routine into your weekdays is one of the most important things you can do for your health and wellness to enable you to live a fulfilling, joyful life. Exercise has a vast list of benefits, of few of which are:

Weight loss

Increases feel-good hormones

Decreases stress, anxiety, and depression

Anti-aging

Decreases cardiovascular disease

Decreases risk of type II diabetes and metabolic syndrome

Builds and maintains lean muscles

Improves core strength and balance

Increases longevity

Increases libido

Improves sense of well-being

Lowers cholesterol

Increases metabolic rate

Increases lean muscle tissue

Increases REM sleep

Improves mood

As you can see, living fit really does your body good. If you’ve always wanted to get in shape but lacked the motivation to follow through in the past, realize that your past is over and you are who you are now. You now know that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to—including living fit. By incorporating what you’ve learned in this book, you will have a firm foundation on which to build and manifest the life and body of your dreams. You have what it takes to achieve the body of your dreams, so no matter what size or shape you desire to be, BELIEVE YOU CAN achieve your dreams!

How to Begin

Beginning an exercise program can seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to go full-blown into an exercise program; you can begin slowly and just focus on changing a couple of things in your life. Some simple changes include walking to the mailbox every day or parking far out in parking lots. If you are ready to live fit but are a bit timid, that’s okay—you can take it slow. You don’t need to dive in; quite frankly, that can be a bit daunting for anyone who is new to living fit (or any new activity). You can begin by committing to working out at least twenty to thirty minutes a day—that could be a light jog on a treadmill or going for a speed walk first thing in the morning.

It doesn’t matter what you do in the beginning. Just commit to getting your heart rate up for at least twenty to thirty minutes, a minimum of four days a week. Then, as you begin to gain strength, you will find that your motivation and determination to become better and stronger will improve substantially. At that point, you can take it to the next step and begin lifting weights and doing cardio more intensely.

As you move forward to take the steps toward living a healthier way of life, do so with a smile on your face. Make your time in the gym count by looking forward to exercising. Think of exercise as an enjoyable thing to do to ensure you stay motivated and dedicated to committing to living a LivFit Lifestyle. If you don’t try, how will you know if you can achieve your fitness dreams? By incorporating strength training and cardiovascular exercise into your weekday exercise routines in addition to eating clean, you will soon come to experience just how marvelous living a LivFit Lifestyle really is. Leave your excuses behind and commit to living fit. After all, if you want to feel the best you have ever felt, have more confidence than you have ever had, and have more strength and fortitude than you have ever had, then you’re ready to commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle. Your desire is your body letting you know that it wants to LivFit!

Begin to realize that choosing to be fit is just that—it’s a choice. Anyone can be fit if they desire to be. It’s just a matter of making the decision to live a LivFit Lifestyle over a lazy, junk-food eating, couch potato lifestyle. Ask yourself this question: “Would I rather live a healthy, energetic way of life filled with positive self-talk and uplifting emotions, or would I rather stay feeling disempowered, emotionally frustrated, sick, and out of shape?” Which sounds more appealing? I’m sure your choice is to feel your best by living fit—so decide here and now to commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle. If you actually just did commit—HIGH FIVE! I’m very proud of you!

To help finalize your commitment to living fit, on the lines below or in a notebook, write down a promise to yourself committing to living a LivFit Lifestyle. You don’t have to commit to living fit forever. That’s not realistic. For now, put a timeline on your commitment. Commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle for the thirty days. That will give you a real chance to create new habits and give yourself enough time to experience the awesome results of living a LivFit Lifestyle.

Once you made your promise to live a LivFit Lifestyle, commit to following through by exercising four to six times a week in addition to eating clean. It won’t do you any good to say, “I’m going to live fit,” only to wake up tomorrow morning and eat a donut and chocolate milk for breakfast and then make excuses about why you can’t exercise. It’s easy to be all revved up now about getting in shape, but it’s also just as easy to lose focus and motivation when it comes down to actually doing what is needed to see the results you desire.

Motivation, Dedication, & Determination

Anyone can get in shape, no matter their size or how much weight they want to lose. Getting in shape takes desire and passion for change. It takes belief in your abilities, motivation to get started, and determination and dedication to achieve your goals and dreams. Getting in shape is simply staying motivated, determined, and dedicated long enough to attain success. I didn’t get in shape overnight; it took months to get in shape and years to fine-tune my physique to what it is today. You can have the same success I have had by making exercise and eating clean a top priority in your life. It’s just a matter of how much you want to change.

Have you ever wanted something badly enough that you could almost taste it? That is the feeling of passion and desire that is the fuel to staying motivated and dedicated to accomplishing your fitness goals and dreams. Staying motivated and steadfastly dedicated day after day is the key to attaining fitness success. Anyone can commit to getting in shape, but it’s only those who maintain their motivation and work out regularly who accomplish their fitness goals. It takes dedication, motivation, and determination to succeed. Without all three, it would be like trying to make a PB&J sandwich without the jelly.

To achieve success in attaining your fitness goals, you need to stay motivated and dedicated to working out and eating clean regularly. To help you stay laser-focused, tell your family and friends about your fitness goals and dreams and ask them to join you. It’s always more fun to LivFit together with those you love.

Another awesome tool to stay motivated and dedicated is to use a LivFit Fitness Calendar by putting a smiley face on all the days you work out and eat clean. It’s shocking just how powerful of a motivator a tracking method like this is; it’s so fulfilling to look at your calendar at the end of the month and see all the smiley faces. I used this handy tool for years to help me stay focused on my fitness goals day after day.

You can also post inspirational images of fitness models or those you aspire to be like on your home gym wall, in your bedroom, or on your bathroom mirror. You can put an inspirational photo in your wallet. I used all of these methods to create the body of my dreams. It was inspiring to look at the fitness models and see myself in the images, and I loved seeing “happy smiley faces” all over my LivFit calendar—it was seriously so motivating! I still use this little motivational tool today. I don’t like to see any frowny faces on the weekdays I don’t work out or eat clean, so it helps keep me focused and motivated to follow through with my goals.

When I first began my fitness journey, I carried around a photo of a fitness model in my wallet who had the ideal body I wanted. She resembled my face shape, hair color, and style, and each time I looked at it when I opened my wallet I saw me and not her. Having an image of what I wanted my physique to look like was much like having a “miniature” Reality Board in my wallet. It wasn’t long before I too had a lean, fit physique like the fitness model image I carried around with me. It’s essential that you stay focused every day on your fitness goals for them to come true.

Motivation and willpower are crucial to achieve success in all areas of life. It’s what spurs us to action after wanting and desiring to achieve and have more in our lives. Too often people wish for change, but unfortunately they don’t believe in their abilities to follow through and attain their dreams. If you want to be healthier, then you have to think positive thoughts of health. You can’t think negative thoughts all the time and expect to have the energy to work out; it just won’t happen—you always become what you think about most.

Ten Motivational Tips for Fitness Success

Staying motivated is imperative to achieving success during your fitness journey. Staying motivated and dedicated to living fit takes strength of mind. It isn’t always easy to stay on track—we all stumble and fall now and then. When I get fatigued, I have to take time off from training, and sometimes I lose the willpower to eat clean. But I don’t beat myself up when I do; I simply pick up where I left off and refocus on my goals and dreams to get me back on track with my fitness goals. Having setbacks is part of life, so when you lose track and skip a workout or give into eating junk food, don’t beat yourself up. Just realize that you let your clean eating way of life fall by the way side for that one meal, and try to be more active throughout the day on the days you don’t exercise.

To help you cement your conviction to staying motivated and dedicated to living fit, here are ten tips to help you ingrain the motivation into your mind to keep you laser-focused daily.

Love and Believe in YOU. Loving yourself unconditionally will open your heart to believing in you! I always say “dream big dreams” because dreams really do come true! If it’s your dream to be fit and thin, then believe that you can be. Visualize yourself lean and strong. Our minds are very powerful at creating our habitual thoughts. So think uplifting thoughts throughout the day. By loving and believing in you, all things are possible.

Make Your Workouts a High Priority. Schedule your workouts on your calendar as you would a business meeting. Pack your gym bag and have it ready to go or place your workout clothes on your dresser the night before. If you can work out first thing in the morning, that’s perfect! You will have it done for the day, and you will feel proud of yourself for accomplishing your goal at the start of each day—it’s a great feeling! You’ll also have extra energy to get you through your busy schedule.

Set Attainable Goals. Write attainable goals that you believe you can achieve. Begin by writing down five short-term goals in the present tense. Write goals that you know you can achieve within a week or two, using the guidelines set forth in Chapter 17. Place your goals where you can read them often, morning and night. Keep your goals in mind at all times. See yourself as though you have already accomplished your goals and dreams. Feel what it feels like to be at your ideal body weight and imagine your physique as you want it to be.

Be Thankful. Be thankful for your miraculous body as it is now. Talk to your body as though it were a child: speak kindly and softly to yourself. Give thanks often for all the tender mercies you receive each day. Visualize yourself as though you have already accomplished your fitness and wellness goals, and do so with excitement! With gratitude and love in your heart, imagine yourself as the size, shape, and weight as you aspire to be. Your body will literally transform more easily by focusing on love and appreciation. The more you are thankful, the more you will have to be thankful for!

Choose a Location to Work Out. Choose a gym close to home because you will be more inclined to make it to the gym more often if it’s convenient, or create your own gym. Make your gym a place where you want to be. Make it fun, have a fitness poster to motivate you, have a TV and a DVD player to follow along with your favorite workouts, or a music player to play upbeat music loudly to add energy to your workouts.

Log Your Success. Journal-keeping is imperative for fitness and weight-loss success. Having a journal to log your meals and exercise routines is a great way to track your accomplishments and improvements—and it gives you another place to record your gratitude. Logging your workouts by writing down how much weight you used and how many reps you did will motivate you greatly. Also write how you felt that day. You’ll be amazed at how rewarding it is to keep a record of your fitness journey. Using a diet journal holds you accountable for everything you eat and drink, and it will help you immensely. Be honest and write down everything you eat. You’ll begin to think twice about what you put in your mouth.

Create a Support Group. Having a buddy system is a huge benefit for your weight-loss efforts. Tell all of your family and friends about your weight-loss goals, and then you will feel less likely to overeat at family gatherings and social events. Exercise with a close friend—it’s so much more fun to work out with a friend. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and will support you in your fitness goals and dreams. Avoid pessimistic people and choose to spend time with those who inspire you to be a better person.

Hire a Fitness Coach or Personal Trainer. Hire a fitness guru to help you learn how to properly chart your meals and exercise routines. Be selective; follow your heart in choosing the right coach or trainer. There are all sorts of trainers and coaches for all types of athletic pursuits from yoga to bodybuilding. Having a coach or trainer will educate, motivate, and inspire you. You will have more self-confidence in the gym and more needed willpower at home. Being accountable to someone who you look up to will skyrocket you to success.

Get to Bed on Time. Getting a full night’s rest (eight to nine hours) is essential to achieving your fitness goals. Sleep is highly important for a lean, fit body. Your body repairs and builds muscle during sleeping hours. Try to get to bed before 10:30 p.m. each evening so your body can fully recover. When you do not get enough sleep each night, you will have less energy to exercise, and you will crave carbs to keep you going, all of which will only increase weight gain and muscle loss. Make sure you get enough Zzzs each night.

Follow Through. Start your fitness plan today and then follow through! Take action and stick with your goals. Be sure to implement journal writing and daily exercise to ensure success. Write down a timeline on your calendar when you will reach your goals, and then reward yourself when you do. Get a massage, go to a movie, or read a good book; do what makes you happy.

Staying motivated is a mindset. Commit today to living my healthier LivFit Lifestyle! If you follow these simple motivational tips and incorporate them into your daily routine, you will soon discover that fitness will become a way of life and that you’ll actually want to hit the gym each morning.

Chapter 27

LivFit Body Transformation Program

It’s never too late to become what you might have been.

~ George Eliot

If sculpting your body is one of your goals, then you are in luck—what I’m about to teach you will enable you to transform your body to the shape and size you want. Now that you’ve committed to living a LivFit Lifestyle, your dreams of having a healthy, fit physique can soon become your reality! I’m going to teach you how to exercise optimally so you don’t have to spend endless hours in the gym, and I will show you how to use the power of your mind to create the body of your dreams easier with less effort in as little as 90 days.

It typically takes about 90 days for your body to transform when you exercise and eat clean continuously. It takes about four weeks to see a difference in your physique, eight weeks to see a substantial improvement, and twelve weeks for others around you to really notice that you’ve transformed your physique. So for the next 90 days, pledge to full-heartedly commit to living a LivFit Lifestyle as you begin your LivFit Lifestyle journey. If you have a lot of weight to lose, it may take longer to attain your fitness goals, but that’s okay—you can begin another 90 days of living fit. If you stay determined and dedicated you will, without a doubt, achieve your fitness goals.

Motivational Tools to Achieve Success

Before you begin, you will need to do a few things to help keep you motivated and on target to aid your efforts in achieving success. Progress photos are one of the most powerful tools to use throughout your fitness journey. You know the saying: a picture is worth a thousand words. I’ve used progress photos for years to keep me laser-focused on my fitness goals. It’s incredibly rewarding to look back on my photos and see how much my physique has changed over time.

Begin by taking “before” pictures of the front, side, and back of your body. This will create a starting point to help illustrate your progress throughout your fitness journey. Then take another set of progress photos each week on the same day. Wear the same sports bra and shorts or a bikini for each set of progress photos you take, and stand against a plain wall so you can see your body without distraction. I know how you feel—it’s not fun taking a photo of yourself when you don’t feel your best physically; I used to feel that way too. But it’s worth it in the end. Taking progress photos weekly is an excellent way to see the results of your hard work from a different perspective.

To see your body make progress is inspiring and motivating. Taking progress photos is a great way to stay focused on your fitness goals week after week. We look at ourselves differently in photos than we do when we look in the mirror. It’s an awesome feeling to see your body’s shape change to resemble that of your dreams; it will help keep you laser-focused on your fitness goals until they are achieved. Having a record of your success with photos is incredibly satisfying. It’s exciting to see your six-pack abs take shape in your photos when they have been hidden under fat for years on end. It’s fun to see your biceps and triceps take form too—all of which is better seen in photos than in a mirror.

Next, log your measurements. Use a fabric tape to measure your body. Measure your calves, hips, thighs, waist, chest, biceps, and neck. You can log your measurements in your LivFit Journal or in a spiral notebook. Be sure to measure on the same day of the week, and write down the date next to your recordings. Also weigh yourself once a week on the same day and take your body fat percentage by using a body fat caliper or by using a body fat scale. I like to do my progress photos, measurements, and weigh in on Fridays, first thing in the morning before I eat or drink, and you can do the same. That way you will have a record of your progress and accomplishments throughout your twelve-week LivFit transformation.

Now that you have your starting point after taking your weight and measurements, set five realistic goals that you know you can and will follow through with during the next 90 days. Be sure to write them in the present tense; you can refer back to Chapter 17 to help you set attainable goals that you believe you can achieve. When setting fitness and weight-loss goals, be realistic about what you really think you can achieve. Begin by setting short-term goals that you can achieve in a week or two.

Don’t self-sabotage your efforts from the get-go by setting a goal like I will lose sixty pounds. That will be too overwhelming, and you’ll most likely only exercise and eat well for a few weeks just to find that there’s no way you can drastically reduce your weight in a short amount of time, which will cause you even more emotional distress. This negative experience will most likely result in you giving up before you give yourself a chance to really try.

Rather than put a number on how much weight you would like to lose, set short-term goals that will get you started in the right direction: “I will exercise every weekday morning for thirty minutes” or “I will go for a mile walk every night after work.” If your goals aren’t realistic, then you won’t work toward them. Be true to yourself about what you really can and will be able to do.

If you are new to living a LivFit Lifestyle, then you can set more specific goals to aid you in your weight loss and fitness endeavors once you get the hang of setting specific, smaller goals. Be specific when setting your goals. If you want to shed x amount of weight, then your goal could be, “I am at my ideal body weight; I weigh ___ pounds.” Or if you want to be a certain size, then set a goal that states, “I wear a size ___,” and include action goals such as “I work out from 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m., five days a week.”

Then, below each goal, write down positive affirmations that support your fitness goals. Be sure to post your goals and affirmations where you can see them throughout the day. Make it a point to read them morning and night with a thankful heart for that which is to come. Remember, affirmations are more powerful when you read them with enthusiasm and passion, so really feel as if you have already achieved your fitness goals each time you read them or think of them. And always, always give thanks for your beautiful body and for the blessings you receive each day.

Once you finish your twelve-week LivFit transformational journey, you can continue your goals by keeping my LivFit program going until you reach your ideal body weight and size. Every body is different, so don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t reach your goals in 90 days. Just continue your fitness journey until you reach your goals. Once you do complete your goals, you will be on a maintenance routine, which is simply living a LivFit Lifestyle that will keep you in shape for years to come.

Think Success!

To get you started on the right foot after you take all your stats and set your goals, begin by thinking success to enable you to achieve amazing results—commit to excellence. Having a mindset of success is of the utmost importance when working toward sculpting the body of your dreams. Be in alignment with your fitness desires by thinking “I am successful!” and “I always accomplish whatever I set my mind to.” This puts your body, mind, and spirit in harmony, which will enable you to transform your body as you wish it to be.

Now, don’t get me wrong—you can’t just think, “I am fit and thin,” and become fit. You need to be positive, exercise religiously, and eat clean daily. If you think about it and fail to take needed action, it’s just wishful thinking. You have to eat wholesome foods throughout the day and exercise on a regular basis to see the results you aspire for. By believing that you can release weight and get in shape, you will bring about change much faster and with less effort as your mind goes into full gear doing all it can to make your beliefs come true.

Keep in mind that your body is always a reflection of your beliefs, so if you believe you can get in shape and if you can see yourself as if you are already fit, then your body will become that which you believe with less effort. When you believe in your ability to succeed, then you are well on your way to living a LivFit Lifestyle with joy and ease.

Use the Art of Visualization to Create the Body of Your Dreams

Another powerful tool to create the body of your dreams is the Art of Visualization. Each day, use your imagination to visualize yourself as you long to be. Really feel what it will feel like to be your ideal body weight and size. Use all your senses to enrapture your heart and soul to the point that it will feel strange to come back into reality. The more you use your vivid imagination to see yourself as you wish to be, the sooner your body will change.

Visualize yourself as you wish to be each new day, and see yourself with the end in mind. Imagine yourself as being fit, healthy, and energized; see yourself wearing your ideal dress size; see yourself waking up and wanting to exercise; see yourself loving eating clean and living as happy as can be. Visualization is an incredibly powerful tool to manifest your goals. Always remember that your mind is your greatest tool of creation and manifesting, so use it intentionally as you work toward transforming your physique. What you visualize repeatedly will shift the paradigms in your mind to enable you to succeed, so think deliberately and with clarity, passion, and belief.

As you embrace your fitness journey move forward with an attitude of gratitude for all that you are by dialing in to your higher self to strengthen your mindset. It takes strength of mind to accomplish a strong, lean physique. With a positive mindset, anyone with a strong enough desire can indeed succeed.

Log Your Way to Success

To help keep you motivated and on target with your fitness goals, keep a LivFit Journal of your diet and exercise routine. Logging your daily activity is incredibly motivating and will help you stay on track day after day. I have kept a fitness journal for years; it helps me stay laser-focused on my goals and keeps me in the “fitness zone.”

Keeping a log of your progress isn’t complicated; all you need is a something you can use as a LivFit Journal, like a notebook. To keep track of your fitness journey, write down the size of weights you used and how many sets and reps you did while you trained. It’s best to write down exactly which exercises you plan on doing the night before so you will be well prepared to hit the gym with an action plan the following morning. Keeping track of your exercise routine will help you know where you are in your training as well as how far you’ve come. It’s extremely encouraging to see your progress along the way as you look back in your journal.

In addition to logging your workouts, log your diet too. To achieve your weight loss and fitness goals sooner, log everything you eat each day and the time you ate. Plan ahead by writing down your meals the night before, including each meal and snack and the time that you plan to eat on the left side; write down what you actually ate and the time you ate on the right side. Try your best to follow through with your meal plan the following day. To help keep you focused on your goals, write a positive affirmation about how awesome you are at the top of each page and read it each time you log your workouts, meals, and snacks.

Keeping a diet and workout journal is an excellent way to stay driven to achieve your fitness goals. It’s empowering to look back at the end of the day and see how well you honored that which you set out to do. It’s a pleasing feeling knowing that you ate well and that you trained that day; it will give you sense of achievement and inner pride, which will increase your desire to continue moving forward fervently with a smile on your face.

90-Day LivFit Transformation Program

You’ve probably seen online or on social media sites with weight-loss challenges and for good reason. Following a weight-loss program is a powerful motivational tool to accomplish your body transformation goals. It’s highly beneficial to commit to doing a 90-day program as opposed to merely working out only now and again. If you do not have an end date or a goal of accomplishment in place, then you can become overwhelmed with the thought of where you are now and where you want to be, and you may give up before you even begin like many people do.

By setting a short timeline to get in shape, like 90 days, it shifts the subconscious mind to think, “Oh yeah, we can do this. It’s not that long,” as opposed to shutting down your desire before you even begin. Then, by the end of the 90 days, you will have created new habits and living a LivFit Lifestyle will truly be a way of life. That’s why I challenge my clients to commit to living fit for 90 days.

How to Begin My 90-Day LivFit Program

To begin my 90-Day LivFit Transformation Program, you need to start by having a positive mental attitude. If you don’t have a positive mindset then you won’t have a desire to complete the program—attitude will either make or break your aspirations to live a LivFit Lifestyle. Be positive and think of your new way of life as you want to be: happy and empowered. Try your best to cultivate an attitude of “I get to eat clean” and “I get to exercise.” The more you focus on the positive, the more you will actually want to follow through with your fitness goals. Keep in mind to think of living fit as a luxury rather than drudgery. The more enthusiastic you are about living a LivFit Lifestyle, the more powerful you will be, which will turbo-charge your ability to achieve your fitness dreams and anything else you set your mind to.

My 90-Day LivFit Body Transformation Program that I’m about to share is truly life changing. Not only will you have weight reduction, build muscle, have more energy, and feel astounding, but you will also be more confident and will have a higher self-image. All of which will take mental effort (willpower) and determination on your part to stay disciplined and highly motivated to accomplish your goals, but once you get in the groove of living a LivFit Lifestyle, it will become easier and natural to do.

As you embrace your fitness journey over the next 90 days with optimism, you will feel as if you are constantly on top of your game—your body and life will begin to transform in astonishing ways. In addition to feeling self-assured, you will finally be able to get rid of the muffin top and flabby arms you’ve been complaining about, and you will be more confident in your clothes too. All because you chose to honor and respect yourself.

What It Takes

To sculpt your body and increase your metabolism to become a fat-burning machine, you need to stimulate your muscles on a regular basis. It takes serious dedication to hitting the gym Monday through Friday. As much as we all wish it were possible, we can’t build lean, strong muscles if we don’t lift weights. And you know the old adage: what you don’t use, you lose. Strength training is an integral aspect of achieving body transformation. Increasing your muscle mass is what raises your metabolic rate, which means you burn more calories at rest. So if you want to burn fat and sculpt your muscles, then you need to strength train at least three to four times a week.

Weight training is the foundation to achieve body transformation. It’s an essential aspect of completing my 90-Day Body Transformation Program. Strength training helps build muscles, it burns more calories after you work out (called the afterburn), and it stimulates your metabolism. It’s what enables you to create a shapely physique to be proud of and increases strength and stamina to get you through your busy week.

In addition to weight lifting, you will be doing cardiovascular (cardio) exercise on the days you don’t lift weights as well as on some of the weight training days. You may be saying, “Ugh, cardio!” Not many people enjoy doing cardio; however, you can come to like it by being creative with what you do for cardio. Cardio strengthens your cardiovascular health, and it also increases fat burning and aids in muscle growth and improves energy levels, which leads to a smaller waistline. Cardio increases fat burning after you train hard, just like strength training does. When you do strength training and cardio throughout the week you will have all aspects of improving your fitness level covered.

During the next 90 days of your LivFit Body Transformation Program, you will be alternating weight training with cardio and mixing it up, which keeps your body guessing. It’s called muscle confusion, which really stimulates your body to build muscle and burn fat fast!

If you are new to fitness and aren’t sure how to do various strength training exercises, you can look up how to do specific exercises online or join the online community at www.CarolWhitaker.com to learn how to perform the exercises below correctly. Proper form is crucial when lifting—if you aren’t sure how to do a particular exercise, look it up online. You can print off images of various exercises and place them where you can refer to them while exercising as needed until you memorize how to do each exercise you choose.

You may be wondering how long it will take to work out. Plan on about forty-five to sixty minutes for each training session. You will be performing two alternating upper body and lower body workouts. For example:

Monday—shoulders, biceps, triceps, & chest, following by twenty minutes cardio (optional)

Tuesday—legs, glutes, & back

Wednesday—HIIT & abs

Friday—shoulders, biceps, triceps, & chest, followed by twenty minutes of cardio (optional)

Thursday—legs, glutes, & back

Saturday—HIIT & abs

Sunday—Rest

Then repeat the sequence. I like to mix up my training to keep my body guessing. You can mix and match your workout routine as well to fit your needs.

To jump-start your metabolism again later in the day, you can add additional fat burning cardio in the evening by doing twenty minutes at light to medium intensity. Aim to do cardio three to four times a week; you can do it on your days off of training or after you lift weights. You can do any type of cardio you like such as jogging, biking, spinning, or aerobics. If you can, do cardio on your upper body weight training days and do high interval intensity training (HIIT) on your off training days. HIIT consists of warming up for five minutes, doing interval-training for twenty minutes (increasing intensity level every five minutes and going all out for one minute and repeat), and cooling down for five to ten minutes.

Before you begin strength training, don’t forget to stretch after you warm up your muscles by doing five minutes of light cardio such a jogging in place or jumping jacks. Stretching is imperative to help prevent injury. Get it the habit of stretching before, during, and after your training to keep you muscles from getting too tight.

90-Day LivFit Body Transformation Program

My 90-Day LivFit Body Transformation Program includes a circuit training routine created for women, but men can benefit from it as well. Don’t be afraid to lift heavy weights—if you are not fatiguing your muscles as you lift, you will not break down muscle tissue in order for repair and growth to take place—which makes for lean, sculpted muscles. And you don’t need to worry about getting too big. As women, we do not have enough testosterone to get big. My program will help you create long, beautiful muscles, not bulky “she-man” muscles. You will be doing more repetitions with each exercise, which creates lean, sculpted muscles, not big, burly muscles.

If you are eager to get started, know that you really can transform your physique in 90 days, but only if you follow through and stay consistent with eating clean and exercising according to my program. (If you have a lot of weight to lose, then it may take you another round of implementing my program to attain your ideal body weight and size.) All exercises can be done in a home gym or a public gym. If you choose to work out at home, the program requires a set of medium dumbbells and a set of heavy dumbbells, an incline bench, and a full-length mirror. To know what size dumbbells to use, pick up a pair of dumbbells at a sports store and do twelve bicep curls. When your muscles get fatigued after eight to ten repetitions, then that is your medium weight, and the next size up will be the heavier weight dumbbells. You can start off with twelve-pound dumbbells and go up from there. As you increase your strength, increase the size of dumbbells.

Each set of exercises is aimed to hit all your body parts. Rotate through each exercise as you complete each set. Begin with medium weights first for your warm-up exercise, and then increase to heavy weights and finish your last set of repetitions with medium-weight dumbbells. Have a water bottle to stay hydrated and a towel to dry off. If you’re new to strength training, take it slow and listen to your body. Don’t try to be a hero and over-train or work out without warming up and stretching at the beginning and end. Always listen to your body. If a particular exercise hurts in painful way—stop.

Short periods of rest are also part of a well-designed fitness program because your muscles need mini breaks to reenergize between long sets. Take thirty-second mini breaks after doing two sets and stretch the muscle groups being trained. Be sure to rest for a few seconds between sets for a water break. And when needed, take a few seconds for a “mini rest” during sets if your muscles fatigue before your final three to five reps; then finish strong doing the last five reps. (Please note: You should always consult your physician before starting a new fitness program.) Now let’s get down to what it really takes to get in shape during the next 90 days. Below is the 90-Day LivFit Body Transformation Program that you have been waiting for! The following exercises are samples from one of my workout routines. Lifting weights is how I went from being tired and out of shape all the time to being active and fit. You can use this as an example of how to train, you can come up with your own strength-training routine, or you can follow a CD program like P90X or hire a fitness coach to assist you personally. Do whatever you feel most comfortable.

Each set of exercises has two different exercises for each muscle group. Do each with high energy and keep moving from one exercise to the next. When performing the two different exercises for each muscle group, rotate through the first exercise and do three sets (circuits), followed by doing the next circuit of exercises doing two to three more sets. If you are new to training, start off slow. If you can only do three sets of the first exercise, that’s okay. As you continue to with the program, you will be able to increase your strength and stamina to doing all six sets as you improve your endurance and strength.

Remember to pay attention to how your body feels throughout each exercise. If you feel undue pain, stop the exercise. Don’t push through pain, especially pain in your joints. It could lead to injury that can set you back for a week or longer for recovery. If you discover that one form of exercise hurts, do a different one that is less strenuous. For example, if your knees hurt when you do lunges, try doing stationary lunges as an alternative. Try various exercises that work the same muscles without added stress on your knees.

As you train, keep a log of your training so you will have a history of your progress. Having a history of your workouts is not only highly motivating but it also enables you to look back and discover what worked well for you and what didn’t work so well. As mentioned before, have a positive mental attitude and enjoy your fitness journey. I promise you that if you stick with living a LivFit Lifestyle even after you complete my 90-day program, your body and life will transform in remarkable ways—it’s seriously an awesome way to live!

Carol’s 90-Day LivFit Body Transformation Program

Listed below is my 90-day LivFit Body Transformation Program, which will help you get in the best shape of your life!

Before you begin training, have a water bottle in hand, a towel, and wear proper workout clothes and shoes that you feel comfortable in. As you do each set, be sure to have proper form—if you don’t know how to do an exercise correctly, look it up on the Internet.

Each exercise below is listed with how many sets and how many repetitions to do for each set. For example, “5 x 10-15” means to do five sets of ten to fifteen repetitions for that exercise. Go through each set of exercises once from the beginning to the end and then repeat the entire process four to five times. This is called circuit training. Circuit training is a combination of high-intensity aerobics and resistance training intended to elevate the heart rate to target fat loss, muscle building, and heart fitness. An exercise “circuit” is one completion of each exercise. So basically you will move from one exercise to the next without taking a break between circuits (for the first two sets). Once you complete a circuit or two, take a thirty to sixty second water break when needed. Also always lift slowly—and don’t forget to breathe throughout each exercise. Breathe out as you lift weights and breathe in as you lower the weights.

This program will transform your physique if you stay consistent in training and eating clean. As always, have fun training and be happy as you change your body into that of your dreams!

MONDAY: Upper Body Training

5 x 12-20 bicep curls, in and out curls (biceps) 5 x 12-20 triceps extensions, chair dips (triceps) 5 x 12-20 alternating shoulder press, shoulder flys (shoulders) 5 x 12-20 dumbbell rows, reverse flys (back) 5 x 12-20 pushups, dumbbell chest press (chest) Post-Training Cardio: 20 minutes of low intensity cardio Evening Cardio: 30 minutes of medium intensity cardio (optional)

TUESDAY: Lower Body

5 x 10-15 squats with calf raises, plié squats (quads & calves) 5 x 10-15 dead lift, sitting chair squat (keep back flat - hamstrings) 5 x 15-20 calf raises: 1st set—feet out, 2nd set—feet straight, 3rd set—feet in, repeat 5 x 10-20 alternating lunges, wall squats (hamstrings & quads) Post-Training Cardio: 20 minutes of low intensity cardio Evening Cardio: 30 minutes of medium intensity cardio (optional)

WEDNESDAY: 35 minutes of HIIT Cardio & Abs training

HIIT Cardio: HIIT Cardio & Abs—HIIT Cardio: 30 minute HIIT (5 minute warm up, 20 minute HIIT, 10 minute cool down, followed by stretching) Abs Exercises: 3 x 20 crunches, 3 x 50 bicycles, 3 x superman—hold for 60 seconds each, 3 x 25 heels to the heavens, 3 x 24 mason twist, 5 planks—hold for 30 seconds each

THURSDAY: Upper Body

5 x 12-20 bench press, pushups (chest)

5 x 12-20 alternating bicep curls, in and out bicep curls (biceps) 5 x 12-20 seated lateral raises, bent over dumbbell rows (back) 5 x 12-20 triceps kickback (triceps)

5 x 12-20 seated dumbbell press (shoulders) Post-Training Cardio: 20 minute of low intensity cardio (optional)

FRIDAY: Lower Body

5 x 10-15 squats with calf raises, plié squats (quads & calves) 5 x 10-15 dead lift, sitting chair squat (keep back flat - hamstrings) 5 x 15-20 calf raises: 1st set—feet out, 2nd set—feet straight, 3rd set—feet in, repeat 5 x 10-20 alternating lunges, wall squats (hamstrings & quads) Post-Training Cardio: 30 minutes of low intensity cardio

SATURDAY: HIIT Cardio & Abs Training

HIIT Cardio: 30 minute HIIT (5 minute warm up, 20 minute HIIT, 10 minute cool down, followed by stretching) Abs Exercises: 3 x 20 crunches, 3 x 50 bicycles, 3 x superman—hold for 60 seconds each, 3 x 25 heels to the heavens, 3 x 24 mason twist, 5 planks—hold for 30 seconds each

SUNDAY: Day off for some much needed rest & relaxation

If you aren’t quite where you want to be after 90 days, then repeat the program until you accomplish your fitness goals (which will then become a way of life). You may need to repeat the program if you have a lot of weight to lose. If that is the case, don’t worry about how long it will take to achieve your fitness goals, just take it a day at a time and celebrate your progress along the way.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or how much weight you need to lose; by following my 90 Day LivFit Transformation Program you will be able to achieve your goals.

Bonus Tip: How to Sculpt Six-Pack Abs

I’m constantly asked how to sculpt six-pack abs. Having a rock hard core is highly rewarding—I have had a six-pack for more than twenty years. Training abs is essential for a slim waistline, but it’s not about doing endless crunches and then expecting to whittle down your midsection. It takes training hard in the gym and then eating clean throughout the day. There’s a saying that is well known by fitness enthusiasts that hits the nail on the head: abs are made in the kitchen.

There are several workouts that sculpt a sexy stomach. In fact, your body is your best source of resistance—you don’t need any fancy equipment to get cut abs. It all comes down to strength training faithfully at least five days a week and eating a clean diet ninety percent of the time. Strength training is vital to sculpting a six-pack. It takes core strength to lift weights properly. When you train, keep your core tight! This will strengthen your abdominal muscles too in addition to doing abs exercises.

Below are a few of my favorite exercises that hit the lower and upper abdominals and obliques. As you train, focus your mind on the muscles you are working; it will aid in sculpting your desired six-pack faster. (The mind-muscle connection builds muscle faster because the body is always an expression of the mind. You should always focus your mind on each muscle as you train.) Do two to five sets of twenty-five reps for each exercise. As you continue to train your abs, your midsection will become stronger and your endurance will increase as well. Make your time count in the gym. Working out isn’t a social activity; it’s a personal activity that you deserve. The Six-Pack Abs Workout can be done in the comfort of your home—no gym necessary!

Six-Pack Abs Workout

Do 4 sets of 25 reps for each exercise. Don’t forget to breathe throughout the exercises.

Lower Abs Training

Reverse Crunch

Lie on the floor with your hands behind your head, elbows stretched out flat, feet flat, knees together. Then slowly raise your feet up toward the ceiling, bringing your head to your knees. Exhale slowly as you go up, pause, and then slowly uncurl back to the starting position.

V-Up

Lie on the floor and place your arms straight above your head, raising your feet and legs to a 45-degree angle. Lean back on your torso as a counterbalance; try to keep your legs straight, pause, and return slowly to starting position.

Scissor Kick

Lie on the floor face up, and place your hands under your lower back and glutes for support. Lift both legs several inches off the floor, keeping them straight with toes pointed. Smoothly scissor kick your legs 24 times up and down as though you were swimming, and then lower legs back down to starting position. Tip: The higher your legs, the easier this is, the lower to the ground, the more challenging it is.

Upper Abs Training

Crunch

Lie on your back and place both hands slightly behind your head with elbows flared out flat and knees bent, hip width apart. Lift your head and upper back off the floor slowly, bringing rib cage and hips closer together; pause and then return back to starting position.

Ball Crunch

Lie on a stability ball so your lower back and midsection is supported. Place hands slightly behind your head and place your feet hip width apart. Curl up on the ball, lifting your head, shoulders, and midsection off the ball slowly. Pause and then return slowly back to starting position.

Mason twist

Sit on floor with knees bent and feet hip width apart. Interlock your fingers in front of you, and then lift feet up off the floor several inches, keeping your feet together. Then put palms together and twist side to side, touching the floor each time. Go fast on this exercise—it will hit your core big time, so don’t forget to breathe. Complete 24 times and then return to starting position.

Obliques Training

Oblique Crunch

Lie on floor face up with feet flat, and place both hands lightly behind your head with elbows flared out. Twist at the hip and lay your knees on the floor, then curl up slowly with shoulders off the floor, keeping elbows out flat. Pause and then return to starting position.

Crossover Floor Crunch

Lie face up and place both feet on the floor hip width apart. Place one ankle over the opposite knee. Place both hands behind head with elbows flared out and flat. Curl up and across, lifting and twisting slowly toward the opposite knee that is up. Do all reps before starting on the other side. Return to starting position to do the other side.

Reaching Crossover Crunch

Lie face up with feet flat on floor, straighten arms, and reach both arms to the outside of your hip over to one side; pause and then lower part way and reach to the other side.

Core Training

Side Planks

Lie on your hip on the floor and place your elbow below you with your forearm placed directly in front with hand flat on the floor to support you. Place your other hand on your opposite hip. Raise your hips and waist with your arm, making your body a straight line from your head to your feet; pause and then return to starting position. Do all reps on one side before turning over to do the other side.

Planks

Lie face down on your belly with your elbows and hands flat on the floor in front of you, shoulder width apart. Raise your body straight up, using your toes, forearms, and hands for support. Hold for 20 seconds, breathing through the exercise, hold all muscles tight, and then return to start position. Repeat 3 times.

LivFit Body Transformation Tips for Success

To help get you get jazzed about living fit for the next 90 days, below are some awesome tips to help you get started. By following these, you will be able to lower your body fat and build beautiful, sculpted muscles to transform your body into a lean, sexy machine. Committing to an exercise routine four to six days a week is important to accomplish your fitness goals and dreams. Remember, being happy is the Key to Manifesting—including manifesting your fitness goals. Believe in your ability to succeed and stay laser-focused on the end result to enable you to succeed.

Make Exercise a Top Priority. Make your workouts a daily part of your weekday schedule. Block off time to work out each day, Monday through Friday, and Saturday too, if you choose. Schedule time for yourself just as you would an important business meeting; make exercise a high priority.

Choose a Location to Work Out. You can work out at home or at a local gym; train where you feel most comfortable. You don’t need fancy equipment to transform your physique. Having a home gym is highly rewarding on so many levels. Not only does it make it easier to work out regularly, but also you can train alone, which I love to do!

Eat Clean. You can train all day long, but if you don’t eat clean, you will never have the body of your dreams. Remove all white flour, sugar, high sodium, and preservatives. Follow the program in Chapter 25—fuel your body properly to sculpt the body of your dreams!

Do Cardio in the Morning. Do thirty minutes of HIIT to burn deep fat for energy. Do HIIT on your off training days and on your upper body training days. HIIT is accomplished by doing spurts of high intensity interval training every five minutes followed by a cool down. Then increase your intensity again. Repeat four or five times. Before beginning HIIT, warm up for five minutes and then cool down for ten minutes after you’ve finished, followed by stretching.

Turbocharge Your Metabolism. Turbocharge your metabolism by doing cardio again in the evening if you have the energy and time. It doesn’t have to be strenuous—just do twenty to thirty minutes of exercise that will elevate your heart rate. Go for a jog, walk your dog, go for a bike ride, or ride a stationary bike while you watch TV.

Drink Up. Aim for drinking a gallon of water each day. Water increases the metabolism and removes toxins from the body. You can add Liv SXinney for flavor and variety to your water.

Take Supplements. Supplementation will aid in muscle development and fat loss. I’m a big fan of supplementing and have taken supplements for years with great success. Include the following supplements during your 90-Day LivFit Body Transformation (take as directed): multi/mineral supplement, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, calcium/magnesium, L-glutamine, L-arginine, B-complex, potassium, and Essential Fatty Acids. (Always consult your doctor before taking supplements.)

Use Salt Sparingly. There is sodium in just about everything we eat, so only use sea salt (sparingly) and stay away from table salt to aid in your body-sculpting goals.

Eat Clean Fats. Clean fat is essential for optimal health and for fat loss and muscle growth. Have two servings of clean fats daily, for example: fish oil, flax seed oil, or omega 3-6-9 blend.

Get Your Rest. Training regularly is imperative to sculpting your body, but so is time off. Aim to train for two consecutive days and then take one day off and repeat. Always make Sunday a day of rest from all physical activity. Your body needs time to recover and repair, and the only way it can do that is during your rest days and while you sleep.

Have Fun! If it’s not fun, why do it? Seriously, make training fun! Make it a conscious decision to have fun as you lift weights and do cardio. The more positive you are, the more you will do what you set out to do. Look for improvements in your physique and be grateful for any changes you see. Be happy and enjoy your LivFit Transformation Journey each step of the way.

Chapter 28

Celebrating the New YOU!

“This is my moment in time, my life, my moment of truth. I will not stop until I reach my destiny!”

~ Cynthia Kersey

Congratulations! You are now well on your way to living your exciting new journey. I am delighted for you! You now know how to live a Ridiculously Happy! life, which will enable you to manifest the life and body of your dreams intentionally! I’m delighted for you! Now you have the keys to change your life and body in any way you choose.

I pray that you have had an awakening within to embrace and relish your magical journey that lies ahead. I hope you are filled with excitement and eagerness for life as you joyously celebrate the new YOU! Pat yourself on the back by doing something today that you love to do: go on a date with your sweetheart, go shopping, get a pedicure, call a dear friend, or call your mom. Share what you’ve learned with your family and friends; the more you share, the better you will feel, and the more you will be paying it forward, which will bring about more joyful blessings of abundance in your life. As you go about your daily activities, tell yourself often how much you love and respect the new you by saying, “I love being me! I believe in all that I am! I know I can achieve anything I desire!”

Take a moment to reflect on how you feel this very moment. Feel the sense of self-love, expansion, and inner peace that has come as a result of you tapping into the energy and power of your higher self as you have come to learn how to honor your truth. Feel the warmth of the love of God and sense your innate ability to receive your Divine Birthright to truly live the life of your dreams. Celebrate the new you by continually honoring your goals and dreams and sharing your heartfelt love for life with everyone you know and meet. Always remember that everything about you is perfection, for you are God’s greatest form of creation. You are filled with pure light and love in the truest form.

Soak up your magnificence and feel the power within shine brightly for all to see and feel. You were made to shine! You are meant to have joy! In fact, you are meant to be downright Ridiculously Happy! So let the world know just how elated you are by going after your dreams with zest and passion as you walk in confidence, knowing that you can manifest your dreams!

As you move forward, relish in the moment. Breathe in deeply several times throughout the day, taking in the goodness of life to your very core while giving thanks for that which you are. For you, my dear, are a magnificent woman filled with pure positive energy and light. By now I hope that you have come to the realization that you have all that is needed to truly manifest your heart’s desires in great abundance.

I celebrate you and I pray that your life and body transformation will truly unfold as you desire them to. Congratulations again on becoming the new, empowered YOU!

Beauty Tips for the New You

Now that you are well on your way to living a Ridiculously Happy! life, below are a few beauty tips to look and feel your best. It’s important to dress your best as it is an expression of how you feel within.

Being happy and looking your best is not only attractive, but it’s empowering. When you walk with your head up, your shoulders back, and with a smile on your face, you will naturally step into your power and be in your Happy Zone. Your body language also expresses how you feel about yourself, so walk with confidence as you live in accordance with the new you.

My top ten tips to look and feel your best aren’t anything new, yet they will inspire you. Strive to truly look your best each new day as you embrace your journey to success!

Ten Tips to Look & Feel Your Best

Be Thankful. Upon waking up each morning, before getting out of bed, take a few minutes to ponder all the beautiful blessings and miracles you are going to have that day. Give thanks for the abundance in your life and for an exciting, joyful day ahead. Then start your day off with a prayer of thankfulness. This will help you begin your day with the vibration of creation.

Exercise Daily. Start your day off right by exercising each morning. Your body craves exercise just as much as food and sleep. So get moving! Get in an exercise routine whenever it fits your schedule best. Just be sure to exercise at least thirty minutes, six days a week. Try to get your heart rate up in the morning and again in the evening if you can by going for a brisk walk with your dog or family members. Make exercise a top priority daily!

Shower Daily. Too many women let themselves go after they get married. Make it a point to take a shower, do your hair, and put on makeup (or shave, for you men out there) every day! By taking pride in yourself, you will express to those around you that you love who you are, which will reflect back to you in your relationships. Dress nicely—not in sweats or an oversized t-shirt. When you respect yourself, you will find that others will respect you more as well. Always dress for success!

Be in Your Happy Zone. Live in your Happy Zone! That is where your true destiny lies. Trust your heart and follow the promptings of the Spirit. Be honest in all that you do by being true to you. Make it a point to see the best in all you do and in those who you communicate with. Believe in your abilities and smile often to express your love and thankfulness you have for you!

Meditate and Visualize Daily. Set ten minutes aside each day to meditate and visualize what it is you want to accomplish and have in your life. See yourself as if you are already living your dreams. Use all five senses during your meditation to laser-focus your subconscious mind to increase your vibrational frequency to manifest your dreams sooner.

Eat Clean. Eat wholesome foods. As I always say, “If God didn’t make it, don’t eat it!” The saying “you are what you eat” is very, very true. Most people feed their cars and animals better than themselves. Do you want to live a long, healthy life? Then buck up and eat right! Let go of the useless excuses that only make you fat. Eat a meal every three hours that consists of a lean protein, a complex carb, and veggies. It’s a simple way to eat and is highly rewarding in immeasurable ways!

Drink Up. Aim for a gallon of purified water each day. You are mostly made of water, and your body needs to be replenished with water to rebuild strong, healthy cells. Drinking purified water will keep you in a high level of vibration and will detox you all day long as well. By staying hydrated, you’ll have more energy, your metabolism will increase, your health will skyrocket and your skin and hair will also improve. I always have a water bottle with me; make it a habit to carry water with you wherever you go.

Get Your Beauty Rest. Getting to bed early will not only help you feel happier but you will also look younger. Sleep will help you build beautiful muscles after a hard work out earlier in the day. Sleep is essential to good health and for muscle growth. Try to get to bed before 10:30 p.m. every night. Your body will reward you for it!

Smile and Have Fun! Take time for some fun and get some R&R every day. Life can become way too stressful if you let it. Take time to play with your kids, snuggle with your sweetheart, read a good book, do your favorite hobby, walk your dog, cook your favorite meal, talk to a friend, or write in your journal. Follow your bliss, relax, and do something each day that brings you joy and happiness.

Believe In You! You are a beloved daughter of God. Believe in your divine ability to accomplish your goals and dreams in all areas of your life. Relish in the new you by expressing to your body how thankful you are to be you! Express loving thoughts each time you see yourself in a mirror or in the reflection of a window. Be kind and loving to your body, and in return it will be its very best for you!

As you live your new way of life—including loving yourself fully, being positive, letting go of the past, living in your Happy Zone, setting and attaining your goals, sharing light and love with everyone you know and meet, eating clean, and exercising regularly—realize that there is never a final destination on your wondrous journey of life. Life will always cause you to continue to expand and grow in order for you to become all that you desire to be. Recognize that each accomplishment is a milestone of your learning, development, and growth.

Embrace Your Journey to Success!

As I come to the close of my book, my heart is filled with immense love and gratitude for you. I am honored beyond expression to be a part of your magical journey. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to share my marvelous transformation journey with you. I have confidence that you will also be able to create and manifest the life of your dreams!

Even though I don’t know you personally, my heart is with you in spirit as you go about living your new way of life happily. And as you do, I would love to hear from you and learn about your success story of how your life has changed by incorporating the principles in this book.

If you feel so inclined, please email me at info@carolwhitaker.com. I look forward to reading your beautiful story and sharing it on my website (if you don’t mind) to uplift and inspire others to improve their quality of life too.

I leave with you a heartfelt prayer of love, joy, peace, and happiness to help you fully expand your life in astonishing ways. Always remember that you are deserving of all that your heart longs for—for if it wasn’t so, your dreams wouldn’t resonate with you. As you go about your day as the new you, smile brightly! Let the world know just how Ridiculously Happy! you really are! From this day forward, celebrate joyfully and step into your power by loving and believing in yourself each new day. Never lose sight of or fail to give thanks for the gracious powers from above that make it possible for your dreams to come true!

Have fun and be happy as you embrace your journey to success each step of the way!

A Personal Note from Me to You

Thank you for reading my book. I am sincerely thankful to you. May your heart resonate with your inner truth now and always. It is my intention that your life may blossom and improve in miraculous ways. Believe in who you really are and in your infinite ability to succeed. Enjoy living your Ridiculously Happy! life to the fullest as you take pleasure in manifesting the life and body of your dreams!

With love & appreciation,

Carol Whitaker

[1] Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:25

[2] (www.lds.org/general-conference/1986/04/happiness)

[3] Journal of Behavioral Medicine; Oct. 2003, Vol. 26, Issue 5

[4] Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 14:7

[5] (Judge Thomas Troward, “The Edinburgh Lectures on Mental Science,” 1904.)

Ridiculously Happy!

Copyright © 2013 by Carol Whitaker

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.

Cover photo by Jess Bishop

Book Cover by Lisa Hainline

Prepared for Publication by WoolysWagon ePublishing

Published in Salt Lake City, Utah

Paperback Available:

LCCN 2013957516

ISBN 978-0-9913132-0-4

Hardback Available

LCCN 2013957516

ISBN 978-0-9913132-1-1

Workbook Available

LCCN 2013923464

ISBN 978-0-9913132-2-8

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Book Cover by Lisa Hainline