Grace-Soaked Sinners

Dive into a new life

Frank McKinley

Grace-Soaked Sinners by Frank McKinley

© 2014 by Frank McKinley. All rights reserved.

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“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Confessions of a Grace Soaked Sinner

Chapter One

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Self-Esteem Makeover

Chapter Two

Grace-Soaked Sins Are Remembered No More

Chapter Three

How Our Secrets Keep Us From Being Soaked in Grace

Chapter Four

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Guide to Messy Relationships

Chapter Five

The Beauty of a Grace-Soaked Sinner's Prayer

Chapter Six

Shake Off Your Guilty Fears Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

Chapter Seven

How to Deal With Pain Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

Chapter Eight

The Hope and Expectation of the Grace-Soaked Sinner

Chapter Nine

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Freedom to Obey

Chapter Ten

Fear Not: How Grace-Soaked Sinners Become Bold

Chapter Eleven

The Grace Soaked Sinner's Guide to the Daily Grind

Chapter Twelve

Come As You Are – The Grace Soaked Sinner's Call to Worship

Do Me a Favor

Going Deeper – Questions for Discussion and Reflection

About the Author

Introduction

Confessions of a Grace Soaked Sinner

My Story in Two Minutes

I become a Christian because I was scared.

I was eight years old. I didn't want to go to hell and burn forever and ever. So I prayed for Jesus to save me.

I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into.

The years passed by and I became a teenager. I was so shy that I wished I were invisible. No matter how hard I tried, the bullies always managed to find me. I felt worthless and weak. I didn't like myself much and I figured nobody else did either.

And I couldn't see any way out.

I prayed for God to forgive my sins and save me again and again, but I never felt free. I felt guilty all the time, even when I hadn't done anything to make me guilty. I sought escapes because they led to a more joyous world for me. My imagination was my best friend and with my bedroom door closed I was free to let it roam.

I felt isolated, lonely, and afraid out in public. This was my struggle until my early twenties when the light of hope finally came on after I read a book by Zig Ziglar. It was then that I began to know that God loved me and that I didn't have to spend the rest of my days depressed and alone. A few years later I joined a church that preached the Gospel of grace in its fullness. That freed me from feeling guilty for no reason. Six years ago I attended a seminar that opened my eyes even wider to the radical nature of God's grace. Then I began to see just how much grace can transform the way I live my whole life.

I still wrestle with those old demons of doubt, guilt, and fear. But now, by God's grace, I don't let them bother me for nearly as long as I used to. Grace has given me the courage to fight until my fists are covered in blood. Grace has given me the freedom to be myself and not care what others think. And grace has given me the assurance of knowing that everything will be all right in the end.

Now It's Your Turn

Maybe you didn't have as troubled a childhood as I did. But I'll bet you've felt fear, guilt, and pain at some time in your life.

This book is for you if you've ever felt any of the following (go ahead and check the ones that apply):

• You've tried positive thinking, affirmations, and self-talk but you still find it hard to believe God could love you.

• You try and try to be good, but you just can't do it. So you fake it.

• You've got a secret so big that if anyone found out, you're sure they'd quit being your friend.

• You want everyone else to think you've got it all together so you lie about how you're doing.

• Your prayer life is shallow because you don't believe God really cares about you and probably won't answer your prayers anyway.

• You've confessed your sins ten thousand times to God, hoping that one day He'll finally forgive you.

• When pain comes, you feel helpless, wounded, and alone. You cry out to God but He won't take the pain away.

• Your dreams of a happy, carefree life are shattered, and you feel God has let you down.

• You struggle with wanting to obey God and wanting to give in to your own selfish desires.

• You have fears that haunt you and keep you shackled.

• You are in a job you hate, so you do it halfheartedly.

• You worship God on Sunday and maybe even at the dinner table, but the rest of the week you give your heart to other things.

How many did you check?

If you didn't check any of these, you don't understand grace at all.

If you checked three to five, God has been really good to you.

If you checked anywhere from six to twelve, welcome to humanity!

God's grace is enough for all of us, no matter how many lines we identified with.

At some point in my life, I've experienced every one of these. I've felt guilt. I've struggled with sin. I've felt unloved. I've kept secrets I thought would kill me. I haven't given life my all.

Grace allows you to be honest with yourself. Why not? If you believe God is omniscient, that is, He knows everything, you may as well be honest with Him. Besides, you can't lie to someone who knows the truth and get anywhere. God already knows your mess, and He loves you anyway.

So Why Do I Still Struggle?

The short answer is “You're not in Heaven yet.”

Since we're being honest here, we all have to admit we don't have our act together. I don't. You don't. Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, and Martin Luther King didn't either.

So you're in good company.

But don't use that as a pass to give up.

Grace not only covers sins, it gives you the strength to deal with them now.

Keep Reading

This book is for you if you want to obey God and struggle with doing it consistently.

This book is for you if you're plagued by guilt over something sinful you've done, or something horrible someone did to you.

This book is for you if you want to know the truth behind the verse where God says, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

If you'd like to be free to be yourself, read this book.

If you'd like to be bolder in your walk with God, read this book.

If you'd like to know a joy that truly has no bounds, read this book.

You'll find incredible strength to endure trials.

You'll worry less about things you can't control.

You'll have a self-image that can't be shaken by what anyone says or does to you.

Join me for the trip of your life!

Chapter One

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Self-Esteem Makeover

I've tried everything to feel good about myself.

I mean everything.

I tried positive self-talk. And in order for it to be really good, I had to include some hype. It would work for a while. It lasted maybe as long as the caffeine buzz from a can of Coke.

Then I'd have to do it again.

I tried positive thinking. It was kind of like putting gasoline in a lawn mower. It would run for an hour or so, mow down some obstacles, then putter out.

I tried positive affirmations. I used some that others had written, but it felt like driving someone else's car. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and troubling. I gave it up like a rental car whose lease had expired.

I Really Wanted It to Work, But …

There was a problem.

I was trying to fill my heart tank with fuel that had no chance of working.

I spent much of my youth dreaming of a better life. I wanted to be confident, happy, and socially active. I just wanted to know that I was loved and accepted for who I was.

But I never felt that way.

I never felt good enough. No matter how many rules I obeyed, I felt like I fell short. I craved appreciation and rarely got it. And even when I did, the temporary nature of compliments and happiness left me as empty as a broken piggy bank.

I tried to fix it myself, but I didn't have a clue what to do. Everything I tried failed because it was really based on lies.

But what about the old adage that says, if you repeat something enough, eventually you believe it?

Believing it still doesn't make it true if it's a lie.

It Sounds So Good

We buy into positive talk because it rings merrily in our ears like hearing, “You just won the lottery!”

We live in a culture of freedom. We take pride in our ability to achieve. We boast about being self-made men and women to whoever will listen. And it feels so good to do it.

Maybe you're not into bragging. Let's face it. Nobody likes to hear someone go on and on about their greatness. You might be one who takes delight in what you don't do. If you're moral and proud of it, there's another reason to boast.

Self-righteousness has many faces, doesn't it?

The problem with most positive talk, affirmations, and thinking is that it just isn't Biblical.

We really want to believe we are deep down, in the heart, and at the core of our being – good people. After all, we're Americans. And America is a Christian nation, right? Besides, Grandma and Grandpa went to church.

The reality is we are basically evil. But sometimes we do good things. Maybe we do them to get noticed, to be admired, and to show the world we are as innocent as doves. And while the good we do may help others, it is merely a covering for a wicked heart.

Here's the Evidence

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Psalm 51:5

King David, a man after God's own heart, said this about himself.

Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. Ecclesiastes 7:20

That doesn't leave any room for exceptions, does it?

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

I'd say that includes everybody.

If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. 1 John 1:10

You may as well admit it then, right?

So Much for Human Goodness

Feeling lousy now?

I know how you feel. It's tempting to atone for your own badness by doing enough good works to tip the scales. But how do you ever know it's enough?

You're soaked in sin so deep you can't rescue yourself.

All the good works in the world won't change who you are.

Only Jesus can do that.

He will, if you ask Him.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:24

How About a Gospel Makeover?

This will be the most radical self-image makeover you could ever imagine.

First, change your focus.

It's really not all about you.

You were created in God's image. He made you to worship. So you spend your life looking for something to worship.

It might be your appearance. That may hold you for a while. But as you get older, your looks may change. They'll probably require more and more work to maintain. Then eventually, you end up looking as silly as a bald man with a pot belly driving a Porsche convertible trying to impress teenage girls.

Maybe you worship the work you do. If you do it well, this can be as tempting a devil as cheese is to a rat. People will admire you, want to know your secrets, and make big plans based on your promise to deliver. But what do you do when someone younger, more energetic, and more determined comes along to unseat you from your throne?

Your possessions might be what you worship. If you have a nice home, cook fancy dinners, and entertain fancy friends, you'll be the envy of those around you. It's fun to bask in the glory of being a neighborhood celebrity. But make a few bad decisions and all that can vanish like tumbleweeds in a windstorm.

Anything you worship other than God is an idol.

Idols lie to you. They promise everything and deliver nothing you really need. They point to Jesus but miss the mark.

Find your identity in God and you'll have a better image of yourself as not only a creature of God, but a loved, accepted, forgiven, and blessed child of God.

Second, trust God's promises, not your feelings about them.

My feelings lie to me all the time.

If someone criticizes me, it's tempting to think that nobody loves me, not even God.

The Gospel frees me to accept truth in any form. If I screwed up, then criticism shows me I need to do things different next time. As a child of God, nothing anyone can say or do will remove me from His family. As I rest on that, I can handle what life hands me.

So can you.

If someone has had a bad day and is mean to you, God still loves you. That person might too. Maybe they're just upset. Don't stress over it. It will all be okay in the end, right?

If you fail, you might get on Santa's naughty list. People might look down on you and hate you. Don't worry. Jesus said, “It is finished.” He paid it all. The sins you committed yesterday, today, and tomorrow are taken care of at the cross.

Doesn't that free you to be everything God wants you to be?

Third, grace-soaked sinners soak themselves in the Gospel every day.

Positive thinking, affirmations, and self-talk promise what only the Gospel can deliver – a foundation to stand on no matter what kind of weather life brings.

On sunny days when things are going great, it gives you Someone to thank.

On dull and dreary days, it's the Light in the clouds that lets you know you're alive.

On stormy, windy, scary days, it's the Anchor that keeps you from drowning.

Do This Now

If you haven't rooted your identity in what God has done for you, start today.

If you haven't trusted in the finished work of Christ, do it now.

If you ask, He'll come. You don't have to do anything to get ready. He invites you to come as you are. It doesn't matter where you've been, what you've done, or who you've done it with. Just answer His knock on the door of your heart and let Him in.

If you do that, it'll change everything!

Chapter Two

Grace-Soaked Sins Are Remembered No More

Rules, Rules, Rules

Most of us worry that God is sitting up there counting every sin, every mistake, and every evil intention.

You and I are engaged in a struggle.

We want to obey God's laws. But there are so many of them, it's hard to keep up. And some of them are just plain hard to obey.

So we lower the standard.

Since we fail to obey all God's laws, we resign ourselves to observe the ones that we have enough strength to obey. Or maybe we choose to follow those that are most convenient.

Besides, it's no fun to fail, is it?

Maybe you've done pretty well being moral. You might rival the Pharisees of Jesus' day with your model behavior. So you add some of your own standards to make yourself even more impressive.

But then, when life hits you like a snowstorm in Florida, you rewrite the rules.

Either way, you fall short of full compliance.

That leads you to lie so that you cover …

Your Hidden Agenda

There's no such thing as a non-dysfunctional person.

We all have stuff we sweep under the bed in the hope that covering it will make it go away. We all have secrets we go to great lengths to protect, lest their exposure reveal us to be total frauds. We all have pain that pushes us to do things we would never dream of doing otherwise.

So to cope, we fake it in public.

When people ask you, “How are you doing?” you respond with a standard “Fine” or “Good”. You figure no one cares about your troubles anyway. And if they did, you think they'd use the news to judge you.

So you smile. You use Christian words and phrases to pretend you don't struggle, hurt, or do bad things. You put up walls blocking potential friends from speaking grace and truth into your life.

And you choke off any chance to grow in your walk with Jesus.

What We All Desperately Want

What does this struggle reveal about what we really want deep inside?

There are three things.

1. We want to be free from the high standard of perfect obedience that God requires.

Rules are both good and bad.

The good news is that rules rein in bad behavior. They prevent us from killing everyone who annoys us, betrays us, or threatens us. It's a picture of the hand of God Himself restraining us from being as bad as we could be.

The bad news is that rules can feel like shackles.

The more and more rules there are, the heavier the shackles they forge.

Here are some of the generally accepted rules that we have today.

- You can't smoke in public buildings.

- You can't talk on your cellphone in the library.

- You can't drive in the rain without your lights on.

- You shouldn't sneeze and wipe it on your sleeve.

- You shouldn't reach across the table for food.

- You shouldn't correct others in public.

- It's good manners to hold the door for the person behind you.

- It's good manners to give up your seat to someone less fortunate.

- It's good manners to smile at everyone you meet.

You'll probably agree that these rules take into account courtesy, safety, and public order.

But then there are some rules on the books that are just dumb. Here's a horrible handful.

- Unmarried women can't parachute on Sunday in Florida.

- It's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket in Kentucky.

- You can't tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp in Atlanta.

- You can't take a bath in Boston without a doctor's order.

- It's against the law to take more than three sips of beer while standing in Texas.

- In Georgia you can't curse in front of a corpse.

- In Burlingame, California, you can't spit unless you're on a baseball diamond.

- You can't take a lion to the movies in Baltimore.

- In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal to run out of gas.

I'm sure these rules aren't enforced by anyone but Barney Fife.

There are so many laws in the United States that nobody knows them all. Only those laws that fit the prevailing political opinion of the day get enforced. You'll have a full-time obsession if you worry about violating a law whenever you do anything.

Remember Ebeneezer Scrooge? His nightmare started with a man in shackles.

The desire to be loosed from our chains leads us to want this …

2. We want to know that we are okay.

In 1967, Dr. Thomas Harris published a book called I'm OK, You're OK. It promised to make everything that is wrong with us right again through the wonders of science. It promised that if you follow the steps outlined in the book you could be a new person. All you have to do is wash your ego of all the bad stuff your life had dealt you.

Don't get me wrong here. It's healthy to examine the pain in your life. It's good to go deep to heal the pain. It's a wise choice to improve yourself if you can.

The problem is you can't do it yourself. Try as you might you can't get rid of the sin that reigns within. All the psychological washing in the world won't clean every spot.

We'll do just about anything to get that feeling, though, won't we? That's why the self-help publishing industry is a surefire way to make a fortune. I don't doubt that the people in it are doing some good. They are. They just can't do what Jesus alone can do.

You can't either.

The answers lies in the third desire ….

3. We want to know that we are right with God.

This is the object of the first two desires.

The answer is found in what Jesus did.

A) He came to do what you couldn't.

… the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

What kind of service did Jesus do? He obeyed all the rules. He did it with the right attitude. He did it for the glory of God. And He did it because you couldn't.

So if you trust Him, you don't have to worry when you fail. It's all been taken care of. God's wrath is satisfied. He no longer sits up keeping tabs on how obedient you are. He just looks at Jesus and says, “Your debt is paid, son.”

B) He came to assure you that the work really is finished.

When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

Have you ever been afraid that God didn't really mean it when He said your sins are forgiven?

Have you ever wondered if there was some sin in your life that God couldn't forgive?

Have you ever found yourself wondering whether the whole promise of the Gospel was too good to be true?

I have.

You fight your doubts with the truth.

God doesn't lie.

so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. Hebrews 6:10

He can be trusted all the time.

For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. Malachi 3:6

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Therefore, His promises are good forever.

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. 2 Corinthians 1:20

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

C) He came so you would have never-ending joy.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.  Romans 5:6-10

Jesus died for you while you were too weak to make things right.

Jesus died for you despite the fact you really didn't deserve it.

Jesus died for you even though you wanted to fix it yourself.

You're free from all your shackles.

You're washed cleaner than ever.

You're forever right with God.

If that doesn't give you never-ending joy, what will?

Soak yourself in the riches of what God did for you. It'll change everything!

Chapter Three

How Our Secrets Keep Us From Being Soaked in Grace

I had some secrets while I was younger.

I really enjoyed writing. And I did it a lot. But I didn't make a lot of noise about it. I'd been made fun of by bullies, so I wanted to avoid any uncomfortable confrontations.

Besides, I thought the criticism would kill me.

Insecurity was my constant companion all the way into college. I didn't know how to cure the pain, so I decided to dull it with alcohol.

I felt so free. Free to laugh. Free to be me. Free to flirt.

The freedom would be short-lived, though.

If you find refuge in alcohol, it quickly becomes your master. It will give you what you want for a while, but when the buzz wears off and you don't feel so good anymore, you start planning your next trip to the land of dreams.

Who'd have thought freedom could be so costly?

The Shame of it All

Most of us have secrets because we're ashamed of something.

What's your secret?

What is it in your life that, if it were exposed, would be so embarrassing you'd feel like killing yourself?

Shame is a powerful emotion. It leads us to bury our pain with distractions. It makes us skillful actors, faking our happiness for the world to see. It causes us to do everything we can to avoid those situations which might pull back the curtain and expose us.

We Try to Fix it Ourselves

We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others, don't we?

Secrets blind us to reality. They make us think we are the only ones who have a problem. We look around and see people who have all the pieces together in the puzzle of life. They're smiling. They're happy. Their kids are beautiful, well-mannered, and well-behaved. They drive nice cars, wear nice clothes, and have nice stuff.

Getting jealous yet?

Since we live in a land where responsibility is encouraged at least some of the time, we think we can help ourselves. If you read chapter 2, though, you know that pursuit is loaded with folly. But since we still think we can fix it alone, we try anyway.

When we fail, we resort to acting like we've got it together. Besides, who will know the difference? Who will care?

Here's What You Really See

The truth is all those people who look so perfect, so happy, and so composed are as screwed up as you are.

In fact, they might even be worse.

They're just doing the same thing as you. They're acting fine when they're hurting inside. They're covering themselves with masks of happiness and togetherness.

They've got us all fooled, don't they?

When we pretend to be okay when we're not, we blind ourselves to the beauty of grace. When we fake happiness in public, we lose the opportunity to help each other. It's like we cut off Jesus' hands and feet and throw them away.

What the Gospel Does to Secrets

When we trust in Christ, we trust in His finished work. We bank our lives on the fact that He fully paid our debt to God. We believe that every sin – past, present, and future – have been swallowed up at the cross.

What does that mean practically?

1. The Gospel takes away every reason we have to hide our shame.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6

God doesn't condemn you for all the crap in your life if you're His child. Why should you care if some twit does?

Because it hurts.

Jesus took your hurts and nailed them to the cross. Never again will God bring up your sin to condemn you. When He does show you your sin, it's to point you to Jesus. You can grow at your own pace because you know God has everlasting patience. He won't leave you to figure it out for yourself. Where He sends you, He will go too.

And He won't grade you based on what other people think. So if they condemn you, don't worry. God doesn't. When Jesus said, “It is finished” He really meant it.

Consider this example. When you call to pay off a credit card, do they continue to charge you?

No, not unless you incur new debt, or you don't really pay them in full.

The beauty of what Jesus did is that once our sin debt is paid, we can't incur any more.

2. The Gospel frees you to be totally honest.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Since you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to protect. All the energy you wasted pretending to be something you're not can be poured into just being yourself.

This is what I wanted from the bottle. I wanted to be free to be myself. I just felt I couldn't because I had a wall of fear around me, suffocating me. I didn't understand that in Christ, I was free to bust down that wall.

But I didn't have to. Jesus destroyed the wall for me.

If you trust in Jesus, everything shameful that imprisons you has been blown away.

That's what it means to be a new creation. You've been restored to the version of you that God originally intended!

3. We're free to love others as they are.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little. Luke 7:47

When you're honest about your own problems, you are free. You can admit them to others because you've got nothing to hide. You've got nothing to hide because you know that your mess is already paid for. You accept others where they are because you know you haven't arrived yet either.

All you have is a promise of redemption and that is enough.

When you see how much you've been forgiven for, you can love lavishly. You'll cast off the shackles that the Pharisee in you spent years forging. You'll be less critical, less judgmental, and a lot easier to live with.

And who knows? You just might help someone.

Your New Mission

You might be thinking I'm about to tell you to go out and tell everyone your secrets.

Not so fast.

Here's what I’m really saying.

1. Don't hold your secrets so tightly.

Your secrets are only powerful when you hold them. When you let them go, they don't control your behavior anymore.

You don't have to pretend anymore.

If you get exposed, fine. Sure, you might be embarrassed. It might hurt … a lot. But your life won't be over. In fact, you may find that you can really start living.

2. Share your secrets with people you trust.

God created us to live in community with one another. You see it in the Old Testament when God spoke to His people through the prophets. In the New Testament, you find it in churches planted around the known world. Today it's wherever Christians gather—in beautiful cathedrals or borrowed bar space.

There really is safety in numbers.

When Moses grew weary from holding his arms high over the battlefield, Aaron and Hur came and held them up. (Exodus 17:10-12)

When David slew his tens of thousands, he had lots of mighty warriors coming to his aid. (2 Samuel 23)

The Macedonian church was cheerfully generous despite the fact that they were poor and persecuted. (2 Corinthians 8:1-5)

Go ahead and share your secrets with someone. It's a bit risky, though. So be sure to start with the people you know will still love you no matter what. Better yet, if you can exchange secrets, you'll both be on the same field. Then you can begin to help each other.

3. Take risks and trust God with the results.

You can't know everything in advance. You won't know whether the person you tell will open her arms and cry with you or fold her arms and frown at you.

Go ahead and risk it anyway.

When you do, you'll be free.

You'll be free because you won't be worrying about yourself anymore.

If you really trust God, you'll take risks based on His promises. The only way to know for sure that your life won't come to an end when you're exposed is to tell someone your secrets. It may hurt, but you won't die. Think of it as lancing a boil. It hurts when you do it, but you'll heal faster.

God put you here to be a blessing to other people. You can't do that fully if you keep your secrets. You can't know who your story will help if you don't share it. So go ahead. Step out there. Make yourself vulnerable.

Then you'll see that it's really God Who's in control anyway.

Now Go

It probably sounds to you like I've repeated myself a lot.

I have.

There's a reason.

If there's one thing for you to take away from this chapter, it's this—Grace gives you the freedom to quit pretending.

1)You can stop pretending you're okay when you're not.

It's been said 7 out of 10 of the people you meet are experiencing some kind of pain. Suffering is part of life. If you'll let them know you're there for them, to listen and to care, won't some of them return the favor?

2) You can quit giving your secrets control over you.

When Jesus paid your debt, He set you free. Your chains really are gone.

So stop living like you're still in prison.

3) You can quit focusing on yourself.

Jesus will give you all you need to do everything He asks of you.

Soak your secrets in the depths of God's grace. It'll change everything!

Chapter Four

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Guide to Messy Relationships

One of my favorite websites is titled “Messy Christians” with the subtitle “there aren't any other kind.”

Ain’t that the truth?

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector

Jesus tells a parable in Luke 18 (verses 9-14) about two kinds of people.

First, there's the Pharisee. He's the one who keeps all the rules. Not only that, he brags about it. He gets upset when you don't do what he does. After all, he's right and you're not.

This guy's a real party killer, isn't he?

The second character is the tax collector. These folks were scorned in Jesus' day because many of them were corrupt. Often they profited enormously from the people they collected from. That's why the wee little man Zaccheus (a tax collector) vowed to give back four times what he took dishonestly (Luke 19:8).

Here's the text:

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Are You Like This?

Are you pretty moral?

You're moral if you don't drink, smoke, cuss, or engage in irresponsible sexual behavior. You're moral if you don't lie, steal, or cheat. You're moral if you don't even think about doing any of those things.

You're also probably mean, critical, and condescending.

It's just human nature to be proud of your achievements. It comes when people look up to you as a role model for the youth of America. It rears its head when there is nothing anyone can pin on you.

The problem is that this kind of pride can annoy the snot out of everyone around you.

This pride has another name. It's self-righteousness.

When you're afflicted with self-righteousness, you go blind to your own flaws. If you're a hundred miles from any known sin, you can't see the dirt in your heart. So you thank God that you're not like those wicked tax collectors and sinners out there.

That's an ugly picture, isn't it?

Here's what Jesus said about self-righteousness.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Romans 23:25-28

Self-righteousness blinds us to the reality of our own sin. Since we don't think we are all that bad, we don't think we need any help. It moves us to view others who don't have their act together like we do as common pond scum.

That closes the door to Jesus.

And it makes relationships really hard.

Here's the Alternative

The tax collector really knew himself.

We see him approaching God with a humble heart. He is quite aware that he is messed up and really doesn’t even deserve to come to the throne. So he pleads for mercy hoping God will listen.

Jesus praises that man because he looked inside to see how he really was – a sinner in need of a Savior.

Self-righteousness keeps us from looking inside.

When we perform to impress others with our righteousness, we whitewash our tombs. Can you imagine eating from a bowl when you've only washed the outside? Your cereal probably won't taste the same when last night's chili starts floating into each spoonful. Jesus uses such a stark example because the reality is cleaning the outside isn't enough. You're still dead inside without Him. You're just putting perfume on manure. It still stinks, just maybe in a different way.

What really matters to God is what's going on in our hearts.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

God tells Samuel not to judge the king he would choose by how he looked or behaved. But don't we do that all the time?

If a person is nice, we like her.

If a person is attractive, we're drawn to her.

If a person is successful, we want to copy her.

All these choices are based on what we can easily see, aren't they? But what about what might lie beneath the facade?

That person could be a domestic abuser.

She could be a recreational drug user.

Or maybe, she is a polygamist.

If she's good at keeping secrets, how can you really know?

Here's the Challenge

You can read a thousand books on personality types and you might discover a thousand different views on what makes people tick.

But if you boil it down to the two we've mentioned here, Pharisees and tax collectors, the conclusion is the same.

Our relationships are messy.

Let's make it even easier to distinguish the two types. Pharisees are governed by self-righteousness. Tax collectors are Christ-righteous (how's that for a new word?).

I'm going to give you the same advice you get in other personality reports. The descriptions are useful but remember, you probably aren't 100% of either. At times you're self-righteous. Things go great in your life and you start patting your own back. When you fail, you may find yourself in the Christ-righteous position. This is great because if you're messed up and you know you need help, you'll run to Jesus.

There is a danger. If you're on the road to Christ-righteousness and you don't beg for Jesus to fill you up and make you whole, you get stuck in self-pity. When that happens, you're still blind – not to your sin, but to the glory of God's amazing grace.

Confused?

That's what makes relationships so messy.

So What Do I Do Then?

We've spent a long time laying the foundation of the mess we're in.

So should we just give up? After all, we live in a broken world full of broken people who are messed up beyond repair. Should we just build a Christian fortress and shut out the world?

The problem with Christian fortresses is that they're full of sinners.

Then there's the church.

The church should be a placed full of grace-soaked sinners.

If you're wondering what it means to be a grace-soaked sinner, let me explain.

Grace-soaked sinners are tax collectors.

Grace-soaked sinners know they're not perfect. They know they've failed. They want to do what's right but they struggle. They know they come up short and need help. So they run to Jesus because they know He's the only one who can fix it. So they ask, not because they deserve it, but because they know God loves them.

So what do you do about the messy relationships in your life?

1. Give them to Jesus.

Do you have people who have hurt you?

Are there people in your life who annoy the snot out of you?

Is there anyone you just can't forgive?

Give them to Jesus.

Jesus said we ought to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). In the preceding verse, we are reminded that it's easy to love our neighbors. Loving enemies is hard. In fact, it's impossible apart from the unconditional love of God Himself working through us.

So pray for that kind of love. Pray for those who have hurt you. You never know what may have happened to them that led them to be the way they are. But you know Jesus can fix it, so go ahead and ask!

2. Give up the hatred.

It's awkward relating to people who are different from you.

We all have weaknesses and strengths because God didn't intend for us to be islands of humanity. That's why we are described as parts of the whole body of Christ. We need each other, like it or not. Deal with it.

When you let hatred have its way with you, you suffer. The other person might too, if he knows about it. Otherwise, he goes merrily along without a care about your malice toward him.

3. Let go of your grudges.

Have you known anyone who just can't forgive someone for what they did, no matter how much time goes by?

It's like having a festering wound that never heals.

God is the judge of the universe, not you. Let him handle it.

Don't hold onto a grudge. Don't withhold forgiveness from someone. Don't wait for them to ask for it. God forgave you of everything. And you might have done some really bad stuff. So can't you do the same for someone else?

Your relationship will then have a chance to heal. If nothing else, you won't be carrying the weight of that grudge anymore!

4. Quit trying to fix other people.

People will be what they want to be. If they are comfortable the way they are, there is no motivation for them to be otherwise. They won't change unless the pain of living exceeds the pain of changing.

You can give advice all day long. It might be helpful. You may have the best of intentions. But if you do it too much, then other people will think you're trying to be their mother.

And I don't mean the nurturing kind.

If you've read this far, you know you can't even fix yourself without help. So let Jesus fix your friends, enemies, and family members. He will. Just trust Him.

Here's the Best Role Model for Messy Relationships

When we give our messy relationships to Jesus, something wonderful happens.

We start to look like Him.

Jesus came to love and serve others. Let's count a few of the ways, shall we?

1. He loved unconditionally.

A) Jesus loved people who didn't love Him.

He loved the Pharisees enough to tell them the truth, no matter how unflattering it was. He painted vivid pictures of their wrong thinking. He did that so there would be no doubt they were missing out on something critical – Him.

They were offended at his accusations. They didn't listen, at least not all of them. But tell me, if He didn't love them would He have said anything at all?

B) He gave His life for self-righteous people in every place and every time.

Until we reach the point of despair that the tax collector did in his prayer, we're all self-righteous. It takes humility to see how sinful we are and how much Jesus loves us. That's when His grace seems the most amazing and inviting.

C) He didn't let other people's messes bother Him.

Jesus' disciples never really understood His mission before He died. He may have gotten angry with them for being so dense, but did He ever desert them?

No.

We're all at different stages on our journey to glory. The important thing is we are on our way. All we have is a promise of future glory to move us along. We know God is committed to finishing the work He began in us so that fuels our engines.

Since we're all on the same road, let's give others some slack.

2. He served others' physical needs.

We're called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Let's look at a few of the things he did:

- He healed the blind.

- He cast out demons.

- He made the lame to walk.

- He brought wine to a party.

- He fed five thousand people.

- He made dead people come back to life.

- He washed His disciples' stinky, dirty feet.

Now we can't do all those things, but we can lend a hand where it's needed, can't we?

If nothing else, you can bring wine to a party, right?

God makes you aware of needs around you so you can do at least three things:

- Provide material help

- Send money

- Pray

Love doesn't mean much if it's not expressed in at least one of those ways.

3. He prayed for others.

If you want to see Jesus' heart for His people, read His prayer in John 17.

Prayer may not sound like much compared to lending a hand in person. But trust me, it can make all the difference.

Years ago, my family faced a situation that seemed impossible.

One morning in 2001, my wife Missy started having abdominal pains that wouldn't go away. We didn't have insurance, so going to the hospital was a last resort. But the gravity of the situation moved us to go anyway.

I worried about all sorts of things. Will she be okay? How long will she be there? How much will it all cost? What will we do if she dies?

I started praying.

I called friends, family, and my employer.

Missy was admitted into the hospital. I went home and made arrangements for the kids to be taken care of while we sorted the whole thing out. When we arrived home, my daughter noticed there was a message on the answering machine.

It was my dad calling me to tell me my grandmother had died.

My daughter was now carrying the burden of sickness and death.

She ran up to me and just cried.

I held her for what seemed like forever.

Friends prayed. Some visited us in the hospital. Others took care of the kids. Our church took an offering to offset the costs of the hospital stay.

Missy came home after a week in the hospital.

One afternoon shortly thereafter, we learned that the church offering had covered everything.

What an awesome picture of the lavish grace of God!

And He used messy people to do it.

Now Go Love Those Messy Folks

Now that you've seen how Jesus loved, go and do likewise.

It won't be easy, but if you trust Him, you'll have what you need to do it.

When you do, your relationships will be soaked in grace. Who could ask for more than that?

Chapter Five

The Beauty of a Grace-Soaked Sinner's Prayer

U.S. News and Beliefnet did a survey on prayer. Here are a few of their findings:

- 68% of professing Christians pray more than once a day

- 57.7% prayed the most for family

- 9.3% prayed for their friends

- 27.5% believed their prayers were always answered

- 79.4% said God didn't answer because it wasn't in His plan

- 64.8% prayed most for problems related to depression

- 41.9% said intimacy with God was the main purpose of prayer

As Christians, we know we should pray. The statistic above show that many of us do just that. Many of us pray throughout the day. We pray for ourselves, our families, and occasionally, we pray for our friends.

We pray more when we or someone we love is depressed. There's something about despair and hopelessness that drives us to the throne, isn't there?

We pray when we want something. That's not bad, but there's more to prayer than just asking God for stuff. Sure, we need it, but there's something we need even more.

That's what this chapter is about.

Do You Struggle With Any of This?

Look at this list and see if any of it applies to you:

- You feel guilty because you don't feel like you pray enough.

- You sometimes don't know what to say to God, so you don't pray.

- You don't need anything right now, so you don't pray.

- God didn't give you something you desperately wanted, so you don't talk to Him anymore.

- You don't think your prayers make that much difference, so you don't pray much.

- You don't really believe God will do what you want, so you don't ask Him.

- You forget to pray for your friends because you don't think about it after you told them you would.

- You don't ask God for much because you're afraid of what He might want you to do.

If you can check any of these, you're as human as any of us.

If you can't, maybe you should write this chapter...

Seriously, we all have doubts and fears. We all think from time to time that God doesn't know what He's doing, that He wants to ship us off to the jungle to be missionaries, or that He doesn't want us to have any fun.

When life hurts, it's tempting to blame God for it. After all, He is supposed to be in control anyway, right? And if He's a loving Father, why does He let us hurt? Why does He sometimes let loved ones die instead of healing them? Why does He stay quiet sometimes when we cry out to Him from the foxhole?

If you want to make sense of your questions and dive into a more intimate, frequent, and rich prayer life, there are six principles you need to understand first.

But First, This …

When God brings pain your way, or when He asks you to do something hard, there are three things you must remember.

1. He will always give you what you need.

There is a cloudy area in life where we distinguish what we want from what we really need. Because it's so murky, we have a really hard time figuring it out. So we try to reason with God that we really do need it. And doesn't the Scripture say that a loving father won't give his son a stone when he asks for a fish (Luke 11:11)?

What our attitude reveals is that we can't see the bigger picture. We may understand why God did what He did later on, but then again, we may not.

2. He'll give you the power to do what He asks.

If you need patience to get through a heavy trial, God will give it to you.

If you need strength to carry the weight of the world, He'll lend you His shoulders.

If you need hope to make it through the days, weeks, and months after a heartache, you can find it in His promises.

God has already promised much of this to you when He saved you. Just look at the fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23. The very presence of those things is proof that God is there.

3. He is using everything in your life for your ultimate good.

Pain is no fun. Sickness is a drag. Losing a loved one feels like death itself.

You have to know this. The God who loves you won't waste pain in your life. His love is so relentless that He will do whatever it takes to make you more like Jesus.

Sometimes that hurts.

But like physical therapy, it's for your ultimate good.

Six Truths That Will Change Everything About Your Prayer Life

1. When you know how much God loves you, you'll pray more freely.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 1 John 4:9

Who would you rather spend time with – someone who loves you unconditionally, or someone who doesn't care whether you live or die?

I thought so.

We love to be around people who love us. We don't have to pretend to be something we're not. We don't have to work hard to impress that person. We don't have to worry about stupid things messing up our relationship.

That's because no matter what we say, no matter what we do, that friend is here to stay.

You've just seen how much God loves you.

So go ahead and be honest when you talk to Him. If you think your pain sucks, tell Him. If you wish He'd handled Aunt Sally's cancer differently, don't hold back. If you hate your job and don't know what else to do, you can tell Him about that too.

He already knows.

It'll be good for you to be honest. You don't have to worry about offending Him if you belong to Him. Jesus took care of that.

God doesn't want you to feel like you have to lie to Him. He can handle anything you dish out.

2. When you know God is your loving Father,  you'll know He always listens.

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. I John 5:14

Have you ever felt like God didn't care?

The word father might bring up bad memories for you. If your own father didn't treat you well, or wasn't present in your life, you will have a hard time seeing God as a loving father. If you know a father that expresses love well to his children, you can get a glimpse of how God loves His own.

Put yourself in a father's shoes for the moment. Granted, it's not hard if you are one. Think about your own children. When they come up to you with something they want to tell you, won't you lend them your ear? Of course you will. You'll be glad they want to talk to you at all!

This is especially true when they get older.

Take that picture and apply it to God. When you know He always listens, you'll want to tell him more.

3. When you know how big God is, you'll ask for more.

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. James 4:2

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

I don't know what your picture of God is.

Chances are, your personal picture is framed by your experience in answered prayer.

What do you feel comfortable asking God for? Do you think He's capable of granting anything you ask?

In the first two truths, we saw that God loves us and that He listens to us. That should provide some motivation for us to ask God for stuff.

It doesn't guarantee however that the answer will always be yes.

God is generous, if you really think about it. None of us deserves to be rescued from eternal damnation. We just can't collect enough good works to nullify the sin in our hearts. So God could only save us because He loves us. Since He is righteous, somebody had to pay for our mess.

It can either be Jesus or you.

Didn't God grant your request when you asked Jesus to come into your heart?

Isn't that the biggest gift you could ever hope for?

So go ahead and ask Him for some other big things. If He can save you and satisfy judgment all by Himself, what can't He do? If He created everything you see around you, what can't He fix? If He gave man the knowledge to do all the wonders of our modern world, what can't He figure out?

4. When you know how wise God is, you'll trust Him more.

With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding. Job 12:13

If anyone ever had reason to wonder what God was doing in his life, it was Job.

Here was a man who loved God with all he had. He prayed regularly for his family. He even fasted on their behalf. Then for no obvious reason, Job lost everything he owned and loved.

If that happened to you, would you still trust God to be all wise like Job did?

You can only do that if you know God loves you and that He really does know what is best for you. You have to believe God sees everything and knows exactly what to do. Then you can walk through pain and pleasure to become more like Jesus.

Too bad pain is a better teacher than pleasure, huh?

Don't worry. God uses pain—but not exclusively!

5. When you know how close God is, you'll pray more often.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Here we see two promises.

God will always be there.

Nothing can make Him leave.

That doesn't leave much room for Him not being there, does it?

So when you hurt so bad you want to die, God is there.

When you're on top of the mountain ready to plant your flag and show it to the world, He is there.

When you experience the humdrum rhythms of everyday life, God is there.

So there's nowhere you can go where He'll abandon you if you're His child.

Do you have another friend like that?

6. When you know God's family, you'll pray more for them.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 Timothy 2:1

You saw earlier that more of us pray for our family than for our friends.

Did you consider that the people you call friends at church are really family?

So go ahead and include them in your prayers.

It's true we aren't all related by blood – at least not directly. But then we did all come from Adam and Eve, so maybe we are all related.

If you think of others as family, you'll pray more for them, care more about what happens to them, and lend a hand more often when you can.

Your Invitation to the Throne

We've covered a lot of ground in a few pages. My hope is that if you can remember these six foundational principles, your prayer life will be richer than it ever was. If you don't pray much, these truths should move you to do it more often. If you pray a lot already, knowing these things can only make your communication with God that much sweeter.

And if you forget these things from time to time, just come back to this chapter for a refresher.

Then go to the throne, knowing you're loved more than you can ever imagine.

I promise, it'll change everything!

Chapter Six

Shake Off Your Guilty Fears Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

Erma Bombeck said that guilt was the gift that kept on giving.

Have you ever felt like that?

I think that means this: unresolved guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.

Two Types of Guilt

We talked in Chapter 2 about how we sin a lot. That brings one kind of guilt.

The problem is that there are really two types of guilt.

The first kind comes when you do something wrong. You violate a rule. You fail to live up to a standard. You hurt someone. It doesn't matter whether or not the standard is Biblical. Since God's law is wired into us, we do experience some guilt when we break one of those laws. So guilt really comes from violating your own conscience.

The second kind of guilt comes when you feel bad but you can't put your finger on it. At the root of this is our sin nature. We can thank Adam and Eve for that. The key here is that we can't point to an event as the cause.

Your Reaction to Your Guilt

Guilt can feel like having a heavy millstone hung around your neck.

The natural response is to try to shake it off.

You can try to bury it with alcohol or drugs.

You try to avoid it by reading a book or watching a movie.

You run from it by pinning the blame on someone else.

But try as you may, the guilt remains. The further you bury it, the harder it will be to resolve. The longer you avoid it, the heavier and tighter its chains become.

The Promise

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1

That's a big promise, isn't it?

It's what inspired the title of this chapter.

And it can be true for you!

What the Promise Does

It's great to know you're not condemned anymore.

Now you may be thinking, “Okay. So what does that mean for me right now?”

Good question.

Here's my answer in three parts.

1. It frees you to acknowledge your guilt.

2. It frees you to deal with your guilt.

3. It frees you to move past your guilt.

Now let's unpack that.

Acknowledge Your Guilt

As we said, there are two types of guilt you must acknowledge if you want to be free.

The first is the guilt you're born with.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Psalm 51:5

Here's where it came from:

Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— Romans 5:12

This is what you can do it about it:

For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. Romans 5:19

Well, to be honest, Jesus has to do it. You just have to claim it. You do that by trusting Jesus.

That's the secret to dealing with the guilt you're born with!

It sounds simple because it is. Jesus did everything because you can't. You can't go inside and clean your own soul. That's why He did.

Go ahead and claim the promise. Then you can begin to shake off those guilty fears!

The second kind of guilt is guilt from what you've done.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

Sure, you've done wrong.

You've hurt people.

You've broken God's laws.

You've thought about bad stuff, even if you haven't acted on it.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28

Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. 1 John 3:15

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. Matthew 15:19

If you belong to Jesus, you're forgiven of all that inner filth. That gives you a lot of freedom to deal with what you've done.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1-4

Freedom to Deal With Your Guilt

You've seen that God will forgive you. Jesus paid the price. So now you can deal with your guilt in a powerful way.

If you have a habit that has wrapped its tentacles around you so tightly you feel you'll choke, take heart. The blood of Christ shed for you breaks those chains. You're really free!

Now you just have to convince your mind.

The trouble with living in a fallen world is that we are really messed up. You can hear the truth. It can sound really good. And a lot of the time you might really believe it. But if you wake up feeling bad, oftentimes that feeling will guide what you do.

It's takes discipline to remind yourself that you're forgiven. You have to tell yourself that the truth of God is the truth even if you feel like the lowest amoeba in the world's deepest sewer. Think of it this way. Your parents will still be your parents, no matter how they treat you. Rain will still be wet even if you're inside and dry. Slander will still be slander, even if you follow it up with “Bless her heart.”

Do that and you'll be freer to deal with the sin and temptations that plague you.

Move On Past Your Guilt

Here's a phrase that has helped me more times than I can remember:

When Jesus said, “It is finished”, He really did mean just that.

Are you burdened with past guilt? Do you relive in your mind the same failures over and over? Do you feel like God can't forgive you again for the same dumb things?

Well, He can.

And He has.

So quit worrying about it. Start living in the freedom Jesus died to give you. You won't do it perfectly yet, but remember, you've been declared perfect. Go ahead and live. The time you have here is the road you travel to get to that ultimate reality of perfection. It's a guaranteed destination!

And if you're His, you can't mess it up. He won't change His mind. He won't bring up past, paid-for sins to condemn. In fact, God won't use any sin to condemn you anymore.  If He does show you your sin, it's because He wants you to see how much you need Him.

You've Been Given a Great Gift

Think about this. Your chains are gone. You're free to fly. Doesn't that give you great joy?

Don't you want to share that gift with others?

Here's how you can.

Love others as they are.

You're forgiven. That means you had something you needed to be forgiven for. You aren't perfect and neither am I.

But God sees you that way.

When Jesus died to pay the price for your guilt, He paid it all. So now you're free to be you. You don't have to live to please others anymore. You're free to fail and know that God won't love you less for it.

But that also gives you the freedom to do some radical things.

You can love your annoying neighbor who thinks he knows everything.

You can love that annoying coworker who is always sharing his lurid stories.

You can love a customer who is furious because your product didn't work as advertised.

Of course, I didn't say it would be easy.

Tell others where you got your joy.

Knowing you're not condemned is a great gift because it will show up in the way you live. You won't try so hard to cover up your baggage. You won't have to lie because you know that lies are blinders. You won't have to pretend because if God loves you the way you are, you can be yourself.

Friend, that is the best witness you can give the world. Do you think people come to Jesus because they see how good you are? No, they come to Jesus for relief from the burden of their sins. There's power in social proof. Didn't you run to Jesus because other burdened people did? And when you came to Him, didn't you find that relief and joy was real?

That's what the world is hungry for.

Now get out there and share what Jesus gave you. Not only will it change the world, it'll make you better, too.

Chapter Seven

How to Deal With Pain Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

I hate pain.

I'll bet you do, too.

Pain demands to be noticed. It interrupts what was once a pleasant day with an intensity that can't be ignored. It can arrive like an ambulance – loud and boisterous, with blinding, flashing lights.

It can be ever-present like a persistent, nagging headache that won't go away no matter how many pain relievers you throw at it.

Why We Hate Pain

First, it's invasive.

You had a nice day planned. Everything is going just like you wanted it. Then out of the blue, you get hit by a semi on the way home from work and end up in the hospital.

Now of course, no one expects something like that to happen. Nobody wants to find out she has cancer. Nobody wants to have her spouse tell her, “I don't love you anymore” after 25 years of marriage. Nobody wants his boss to say, “We're making cutbacks and you didn't make the first round. Sorry.”

Pain has a nasty way of reordering life into a mess.

Second, it hurts.

This seems obvious enough, right? Here's what I'm getting at. When pain comes, you're injured in some way. It might be physical. Maybe it's emotional. Perhaps it's both.

When your body is sick or broken, you hurt.

When a relationship goes sour, you hurt.

When your greatest expectations turn to failure, you hurt.

If you're human, at some time you'll hurt. If you don't, maybe you should check your pulse.

Third, it's unfair.

We live in a world that is broken and ravaged by sin.

Now if that isn't a recipe for pain, I don't know what is.

This isn't what God intended when He put Adam and Eve in the garden. But it turned that way when they decided to disobey Him. So pain is not only the fruit of that decision but it also became our heritage.

Great, huh?

Our Natural Response

Turn on the television and you'll be showered with messages about how to avoid or soothe your pain.

Here's a quick and easy to way to shed those unwanted pounds forever. You'll be able to wear those trendy clothes Your friends will compliment you. You'll find the love of your life. Step into a better life now!

Take a trip to Vegas. Be entertained by the finest professionals. Dine at the finest restaurants. Take a chance at the casinos. Leave all your troubles behind and have the time of your life!

Hey, it's Saturday. So grab some beer. Make some subs. Turn on the game. It's your time to relax and leave it all behind.

If you had the choice between pain or pleasure, now be honest, which would you choose?

So when pain comes, do you find yourself doing things to minimize its influence?

When you're stressed out, you plop in front of the TV for a heaping helping of sitcoms.

When life hurts, a few beers makes the pain go bye-bye for the rest of the night.

When it seems like nothing is going right, you spend all your leisure time with your hobbies.

Don't get me wrong here. When I have a headache that won't go away, I take medicine if I can. When I'm stressed, I sink into a good book. When I don't want to deal with the pain of life anymore, I tell God about it.

What We Expect

We've been conditioned to expect comfort in our culture.

That's why pain is an intruder.

So we tell God our pain is unfair.

I believe that God wants to hear what we have to say. So tell Him what you think of your pain. Confess to Him that you think it's unfair. He already knows what's in your heart. Your admission certainly won't catch Him by surprise. If you belong to Him, why not be honest?

Honesty is, by the way, an excellent starting place to deal with your pain.

Why Pain Intrudes

Sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Other times there is.

First, pain intrudes when we make bad choices.

If you eat more than you should at Thanksgiving, your stomach is going to hurt. If you eat more than you should every week, you'll gain weight and risk health problems. If you eat often enough for reasons other than hunger, your stomach will be filled but your soul will not.

If you don't budget your money, you'll spend it all before you pay for what's important. If you don't save some for later, it won't be there when you need it. If you are stingy with your money, you'll live a lonely life.

If you take up smoking at a young age, you might risk having health problems later in life. If you drink alcohol to douse your pain, you'll find it's still there when you sober up. If you drink cup after cup of coffee to get ready to do something, it will be a crutch for you.

Grace gives us the freedom to make any choice we want and know God will still love us. We are free to fail or get it right. Though your mom and dad might reject you for something, biologically they are still your parents.

And unless they are just real jerks, they'll probably still love you.

God won't disown you when you do something stupid. He won't cut you out of the family even for a lifetime of bad choices. Once you're His, you're His forever.

The truth is all choices have consequences. That's one thing we'll never be free of as long as we live here.

Have you ever thought that God might be using your pain to get your attention?

What God Does With Pain

Jesus knows what it's like to suffer. After a hard day's work, He got tired, dirty, and hungry. When one of His friends died, He wept with the family. And when He paid your sin debt, He hung on a cross and died.

So when you come to God with your pain, He's been there.

Be honest with Him. Admit that you haven't always made the wisest choices. Tell Him there have been times you thought you knew better than He how to run your life. Confess that sometimes the pain is so great you feel like you have no hope at all.

It's in those moments that God may draw nearest.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.”Jesus wept.  John 11:33-35

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:3-6

Give Him Your Pain

So now you have a safe place to lay your pain.

Here are two things to remember when life hurts.

1. Even though life still hurts, you can be assured that God still cares.

This can be tough. When your body is aching, it's tempting to give up and want to die. When your spouse tells you she doesn't love you anymore and really never has, you'll probably feel worthless. When you lose your job suddenly and have nowhere to go and nothing to do, it's easy to feel lost.

But even in life's worst moments, God still cares.

If you've been poisoned by teaching that the abundant life is the pain-free life, I'm sorry. Life can be really good sometimes, that's true. But if you live long enough, pain will knock at your heart's door. You can bet on it.

What if God is trying to get your attention through your pain? It may not be that you've done anything wrong per se. You might have lived an exemplary life before others. But what if your pain is an opportunity to serve others? What if your suffering is meant to be a witness to friends who need to see a God who is glorified in the worst of times? What if your joy gives someone hope when she needs it most?

2. Just because God uses pain in your life doesn't mean He likes it either.

When God made the world, He gave Adam and Eve work to do.

Now that doesn't sound like a life of ease, does it?

The difference in their work is that, before they sinned, it wasn't cursed with struggle and pain.

We live in a broken world. Since God doesn't like pain, He sent Jesus to destroy it once and for all. Sure, we still feel its effects while we're here. But it can't define us. And in the end, it won't destroy us. While pain remains, it's only temporary.

Take hope in that. There is a place where your pain will be a thing of the past and your joy will be complete.

That's your inheritance as a child of God.

Trust God

He knows what you're going through.

He won't waste pain in your life for no reason.

He'll use your pain to make you more like Jesus.

He knows what He's doing. You don't have to. So trust Him. He sees the bigger picture and He is the Painter. He knows how to make the finished work look priceless.

Won't you soak your pain in the depths of His grace?

Chapter Eight

The Hope and Expectation of the Grace-Soaked Sinner

As a boy, I loved Christmas.

And who wouldn't? You're surrounded by presents. The toys you so desperately wanted lie waiting to be exposed from shiny wrapping paper. Other boxes with mysterious content were also piled there.

Then the great unwrapping begins.

What usually happened was that I got a lot of what I expected. I'd go nuts with joy over those things. My life felt so complete if I had died there it would have all been worth it.

But then there was those other boxes.

I opened those too. After all, they were presents. I lifted the box top to find …. clothes.

Sure, I needed clothes. No kid should run around naked, right? But getting clothes on Christmas was to me like going to the dentist on a day off from school.

What were my parents thinking?

The Cosmic Santa

Sometimes we think of God as Santa Claus.

You've probably heard the story. If you are good, then Santa will make a note of that. Your reward is getting everything you ever wanted or could even hope for.

Sound like the Prosperity Gospel?

In America, it seems the most popular preachers on television are the one that promise the most goodies. The same thing happens when candidates for Congress promise to bring more federal money back home. Even the State of the Union address is like a Christmas list of benefits to the American people.

Prosperity is something we all hope for. That's why when that message is delivered it is so popular.

But then there's the other side of the coin.

The God Who Doesn't Care

If you've ever been disappointed by God, you might believe that He just doesn't care at all.

It's easy to understand this feeling when something tragic comes along and God seemingly does nothing to stop it.

It's easy to give up hope when you work really hard and you're still struggling to pay the bills.

It's easy to think God doesn't care when He is silent no matter how much you pray.

Steve Brown has said that pagans don't pray because they're afraid God will be there. Christians don't pray because they're afraid He will be.

The truth is we have a pretty muddy view of God, don't we?

What is God Really Like?

To be honest, He's a little bit of both.

He's like Santa when He gives us grace. We certainly haven't done anything to deserve it. Yet He gives it anyway. If we respond to the Gospel call, it's because He loved us first.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19

So you see God is not a cosmic policeman – unless you reject the offer of atonement in Christ He offers. Someone has to pay. It can either be you or Jesus. Which sounds better to you?

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

We weren't naturally disposed to love God. Sin made sure of that. So God had to love us into His family. If you belong to Him, you'd have to agree that it worked, right?

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17

Chances are pretty good you've heard that verse.

Again we see it was because God loved us that He decided to save us at all. Nothing is said here about how good or bad we are. Nothing is mentioned about our race, our social status, or our bank account. And nothing is said about our church denomination, political affiliation, or the lack of either of these.

Simply put, if you're a Christian, you are because God loves you.

So how does that shape what we can expect from God in this life?

A Survey

I took a poll to see what my friends expect from God.

I got some interesting answers.

One said he thought it was presumptuous to expect anything from God.

Another said that she expected Him to keep the promises made to her in the Bible.

A third said God's plans for her were usually better than she expected, even if they didn't seem to make a lot of sense.

I get all three of these.

Let's take a look at each one. Then we'll lay out some realistic expectations you can take to the bank.

Why Should I Expect Anything From God?

We looked at the fact that because God is holy and we're not, we shouldn't really expect anything.

First, if we belong to God, He took care of the sin problem.

Jesus died so we could have His righteousness. So in that sense, when God looks at us, He sees the perfection of Jesus.

Here's some Biblical proof.

And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 1 Corinthians 1:30

and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— Philippians 3:9

What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; Romans 9:30

Second, it's true that we really don't deserve anything from God.

That's why Jesus had to earn it.

But what if He didn't?

If He didn't, we could heap up good works all day long and never tip the scales of righteousness in our favor. Our motives would tip the other side. We might be doing good things so we can feel good about ourselves. We might obey God's rules because we think that will earn us more points with Him. Or we might act good so others will think we have it together.

That's what it means in Isaiah when our righteousness is described as “dirty rags.”

Dirty rags aren't useful for cleaning, are they? They just spread the dirt onto whatever they touch. It's like taking your finger to clean your iPhone screen while your lunching on some greasy fried chicken.

Third, God gives us good things because He loves us.

If you have kids, you understand this.

If you love your kids, don't you feed them? Surely, you give them clothes to wear, lots of them. And I'll bet they have more toys than they can play with alone, don't they?

That's the way God feels about His kids.

If you have a roof over your head, thank God.

If you have clothes to wear to protect you from the elements, make you look presentable, and even keep you in style, thank God for it.

If you have food to eat when you need it, thank God.

He really is good, isn't He?

God the Ultimate Promise Keeper

There are lots of promises in Scripture. I won't list them all here. But let's take a look at a few you can remember every day.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

This promise assures us that God knows what He is doing. Whether life feels good or it hurts, God is using that for our good. His plan is ultimately to make us what He declared – as righteous as Jesus. That will involve some painful lessons. But take heart. They won't all be painful.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

You're going to get tired every day. You're going to face stresses in your life. Isn't it comforting to know God wants to take that burden off your shoulders? So go ahead, let Him.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

God asks a lot of you. How can you do it all? Easy. Ask Him to help you with it. See here that He is ready, able, and willing to do it.

That's 3 to get you going. Check your Bible for more. I guarantee they're in there!

God's Plans Are Better

It's easy to think we know better than God.

I have a friend who was let go from her employer wrongfully. She then spent a year searching for a new job – to no avail. In the meantime, she was able to go to school and try to create a better future.

I'm sure she wondered why God did this. But she says that in the end it seems to be working out better than even she expected.

I have another friend who has suffered several miscarriages. She has two children already but would like more. However, it seems that whenever she has gotten pregnant lately, it hasn't worked out.

That has been painful. She hasn't reached the point where she knows why at all. All she can do is accept things for what they are, lean on her brothers and sisters in Christ, and carry on with life.

Just this weekend my neighbor died after a long and painful illness. He was a smoker for many years. But he was also a hard worker. He was friendly and generous. It didn't seem fair that he should suffer so much, even for his own unhealthy choices.

What this all points to is the difference between us and God. God has the ability to see the bigger picture. You see, our lives don't merely exist in a vacuum. What we do affects others, too. Who can know what effect a few words might have? Who can say what a simple act of kindness can do for someone? Or on the flip side, how can you know whether you should have spent more time with someone before she dies?

Be careful to follow the Spirit's promptings when you sense them.

Here's What You Can Expect

There is no promise that all your dreams will come true.

There is no guarantee that you will make it through your day trouble-free.

There is no assurance you'll live to see tomorrow.

But here are a few things that you can depend on as a child of God.

Though you don't know the future, you can depend on God to grant you an awesome inheritance in Heaven.

Sure. Life is full of trouble now. Or maybe you're in a season where life is pretty good. But there's always the threat that your ordered existence will fall apart. But once you're in God's presence, all those threats will be gone.

The promise of future glory helps make this night in a bad hotel seem bearable. In comparison to eternity, it's just not that long, is it?

You can expect the God who loves you to know what He's doing, whether or not you understand.

You don't have to see the whole big picture to trust God. In fact, it's His grace that shields you from the ugliness you'll have to face before it comes. While you're waiting, trust that He is preparing you for it. He'll always give you what you need when you need it.

Of course, it may not seem like it.

When you're hurting non-stop, you find yourself asking God, “Are You sure I have all I need?”

When you run out of money and it seems your options have been exhausted, you may say, “God, is this really what I need right now?”

When your doctor tells you that you've got inoperable cancer and you're going to die, you might cry out, “God, what is good about this?”

Honestly, neither I nor anyone else may be able to explain a thing to you.

But God knows. He has a plan. Though you may not be able to see it, you can be sure it is good.

Your unsaved friend might see your plight and your reliance on God and be moved to trust in Jesus.

Your coworker that doesn't know Jesus might be pleasantly surprised that a Christian doesn't have it all together, and find that appealing.

When your neighbor loses her husband, and you offer to pray and do little things to help, she might come to Christ as a result.

This reason leads to the third …

We can always expect good things from a good God who loves us deeply and supplies all our needs.

You may not always get what you want. But you will always have what you need, precisely when you need it. God will see to that.

When life is good, thank God for it.

When life is bad, thank God that He is there in the midst of it.

When you suffer, remember that Jesus did, too.

Now go. Believe God loves you. Know that He cares. Act on that love.

Be part of the transformation He is making in the world.

He's using grace-soaked sinners like you and me to do that every day!

Chapter Nine

The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Freedom to Obey

A long time ago, in the days when America's Funniest Home Videos was still hosted by Bob Saget, I saw a scene from a wedding.

The bride and groom are standing together in front of the pastor. They repeat the vows to one another. Everything is fine until the pastor asks the bride to repeat this one line: “I promise to love, honor, and obey.”

“I promise to love, honor, and...What??? Uh-uh! You gotta be crazy!”

The audience roared with laughter.

I don't imagine the wedding turned out well, if it even made it to the end.

Our Struggle to Obey

For as long as I remember, people have wanted to do their own thing.

Back in the 1960's, when I was too young to do much of anything but obey my parents, the hippies were the ones carrying the banner of freedom. They cast off the old conventions of love being secured by marriage. Instead, you could just do whatever you want with whomever you want whenever you want. If it didn't work out, just find someone else to do it with.

The problem with that kind of “freedom” is that it really isn't freedom at all.

But it still hints at even the most mild-mannered respectable person's desire to be unique. We bristle a bit at being put into a mold. We chafe when the rules come down too closely. Just like our first parents, Adam and Eve, we think deep down that we know better than God does.

That is sin defined.

Sin is any occasion in which you violate God's law. It starts with the very thought of it. It's those ideas that get nourished and cherished that lead us to put sin into action.

Allow me to illustrate.

When I was about 13, I stuck a pin into a classmate's back.

Now I knew better. Sure, I understood that when you poke a sharp object into your skin, it's going to hurt. But when you're 13, reason doesn't always enter the picture, does it?

In this case, it didn't.

Did I have anything to gain by doing this? If I did, I surely didn't think it through.

So I poked him.

He rared up in his seat and howled as if I'd attempted murder.

The class roared with laughter.

My teacher was not in the least bit amused.

“Frank, did you stick him with a pin?”

Since I was honest, meek, and wanted to please everyone, I admitted that I had done what she suggested.

Amazingly, she didn't sentence me to the gas chamber, a trip to the office, or the threat of negative grades.

In a few mere moments, the whole incident was forgotten.

That's what the reward for sin is like. It promises great pleasure. You resist while you may, but it keeps on making promises. After hearing a few times how great your life will be if you do it, you go ahead and give in. Then the wonderful feeling lasts about as long as a roller coaster ride at a theme park.

Then you wonder why you did it in the first place.

But after a little while, the whole cycle happens all over again.

There's no doubt whatsoever that if you are human, you will be tempted. You have weaknesses. You have longings that crave to be fulfilled. And when those longings scream out loudly enough, you'll be open to do anything to satisfy them.

Putting Band-Aids on Cancer

Steve Brown says that a lot of our efforts to fix ourselves are like putting band-aids on cancer. It's a great picture of how we do too little to address a huge problem.

Here are a couple ways we do just that.

1. We obsess over our obedience.

That sure sounds like a great thing to get obsessed about, doesn't it?

We all have a desire to know that what we're doing is right. In fact, it is so strong that if we don't have some sense of security about what we're doing, we can go nuts. We lose sleep. We have trouble digesting our food. We worry ourselves sick – literally.

So we figure the answer is focus all our efforts on doing what is right. We do it because we think God will be so pleased with our hard work. We can just see Him dancing in Heaven, telling the angels how wonderful we are.

Then in a moment of weakness, we blow it worse than we ever imagined we could.

2. We decide that since Jesus paid it all, it really doesn't matter what we do.

This is dangerous.

Sure, it's true that if you belong to Jesus, nothing you can do will make Him cast you away.

But if you aren't careful, you can bring a lot of needless pain into your life by being a fool.

If you get drunk every night, Jesus will still love you, but you'll become an alcoholic.

If you sleep with everyone who'll say yes, Jesus will still love you, but you'll probably get every sexually transmitted disease known to man.

If you treat everyone like they're pond scum, Jesus will still love you, but you won't have any real friends.

Does any of that sound appealing to you?

Sure, in Christ, you have freedom to do what you want. But remember, the consequences are still there.

The trouble with these approaches is that both of them rely on our own efforts. Both spring out of our own life experiences. What happens to us often influences what we think about the world. So to cope with the chaos, we write our own code to deal with it.

The underlying truth is this: we bend to our emotions instead of our intellect. We pay more attention to how we feel about things than what is really true. And when that happens, we struggle to obey God with any degree of consistency.

What Should I Do Then?

If your struggle with obedience has gotten the best of you, here's hope.

1. If you belong to Jesus, He did it all for you.

For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. Romans 5:19

There are lots of rules in the Bible we should obey. If you look at the Old Testament, there were rules for every aspect of life. The Israelites were told what to eat and what not to eat. They had rituals for everything from skin sores to menstruation. There were rules about private property and conducting business.

If you were to try to keep all those rules today, you'd go insane.

It's hard enough to remember and keep the Ten Commandments.

The hope that Jesus offers is grace to those obsessed with obedience. God's not keeping tabs anymore. He's not checking off the list like Santa Claus, just waiting for you to blow it.

Jesus satisfied all the obedience God will ever require from you.

What's even better is that when you give your life to Him, it's not just a new slate. It's even better – way better. God throws the slate away – forever!

You see, Jesus really did pay it ALL.

2. We are free to obey God because He loves us.

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

Here's a radical statement for you to consider.

We are free to obey God because He loves us.

Because He loves us, He has paid our debt to Him. He doesn't owe us anything. And if you look at the books, we don't owe Him anything either.

But wait a minute.

The transaction is finished. But there is an obligation, isn't there?

Think of it this way. If someone gives you a gift, don't you feel an obligation to return that kindness?

Of course, you do.

That is what should motivate you to obey God. He has given you the greatest gift imaginable. He's removed everything that separates you from a right relationship with Him.

Think about that for a minute. Do you realize how huge that is?

Even if you spent a lifetime, you'd never be able to repay that kindness. But don't you feel like trying to please someone who loves you that much?

But wait, there's more.

You don't have to please God. He's already pleased with you.

So, go ahead and obey. Freely love the One who loves you with an everlasting love.

He'll be there cheering you on.

3. Obedience is an act of worship.

But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28

Imagine you have a chance to meet your favorite celebrity.

Wouldn't you put on your best outfit? You'd probably get your hair done. You might even rent a fancy car for the occasion, lest he should see it.

You'd have to put a cap on your enthusiasm, wouldn't you? If you act too excited, he might get scared.

But it would really be hard to do that.

Chances are he'll just smile and enjoy your adulation.

It's different with God.

He loves it when you serve Him with enthusiasm. He's not weirded out by you coming into His presence with singing. He's pleased when you go out on a limb for Him.

You've been given a great gift. And better yet, you've been given everything you need to make the most of it.

You really are free to obey.

So serve God without worrying whether or not He'll love you.

Obey God without wondering whether it's really good enough.

Trust God and know He's not that scary cosmic policeman that's waiting for you to break the law.

Doesn't that make you want to shout “Amen”?

Now go and obey God with the freedom of a grace-soaked sinner.

Chapter Ten

Fear Not: How Grace-Soaked Sinners Become Bold

When I was a kid, I was scared of everything.

Well, it seemed like everything.

I was scared of people. I didn't talk to many of them. The few I did converse with were the safest. I knew then I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of a hostile confrontation.

Some of the kids in my school were cruel. They saw me as different, shy, and weak. So to make themselves feel better, they mocked me.

That hurt.

It wasn't just the kind of hurt you could put a band-aid on and it would go away. This pain left long-lasting scars that affected everything I thought, felt, or did.

Because of that mindset, I rarely took risks.

In 7th grade, I tried out for a few sports. But I wasn't very good, so I gave up. I tried as hard as I could, but something was holding me back. It was the fear of being seen and made fun of. I didn't have any way to handle that, so I chose the path of least confrontation.

And that kept me imprisoned in my quiet little world.

They've Lied to Us

Maybe you were told that you should be like gentle Jesus, meek and mild.

I believed a lie about what it means to be meek and mild. To me, it meant you didn't rock the boat, you didn't tell people they were wrong, and you didn't do anything to upset them.

Sure, this lie comes from good intentions. Remember when Jesus told his disciples,

“To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.” Luke 6:29

I thought He meant you should do that all the time.

But if you look in the Old Testament, there are all sorts of laws about how you should treat people and respect other people's property.

When you read Luke 6:29 and interpret it like I did, you mistake being generous for being a doormat.

The problem is that isn't the Jesus of the Bible.

Jesus regularly argued with Pharisees. It wasn't that He was being mean. He did it because He loved them. He wanted them to see the truth, and the mild approach wasn't working. It was like trying to describe what something looks like to someone who's blind. Many of us, sensing we can't get anywhere would write that person off.  But Jesus didn't let that stop Him.

Let's look at some practical ways you can embrace the boldness God meant you to have.

You Can Be a Bold Christian

Now that we've seen a bit about what it means to be a doormat, it's time to throw that whole notion out.

Jesus didn't die so you could become wallpaper.

He didn't give His life so you could stand in the corner and be ignored.

He didn't make the ultimate sacrifice so you could feel unimportant, useless, and alone.

First, let's take a look the word itself …

What it Means to be Bold

What do you think of when you hear the word “bold”?

Do you see an action hero in a movie, defying the greatest of life-threatening odds to overcome an enemy?

Do you see someone standing up for his faith despite the threat of imminent death?

Do you see someone who takes huge risks in business so he can change the world?

Sure, all that stuff is bold.

But what about you?

What would you do to be bold?

Here are 3 things you already have available as a Christian.

1. Great confidence.

You may doubt that if you struggle with doubts. But if you believe in Jesus, you really don't have to.

Salvation is the greatest gift you could ever want. It's guaranteed by the blood of Christ. It can't be ruined by anything you do. And it's certainty depends on Him, not you.

What could be better than that?

When God adopts you, He doesn't ever change His mind about it. You're His forever.

He knows you're not perfect … yet. You're going to screw up. But don't worry. Jesus already paid for all that.

One caveat though. While you can sin all you want, you will still feel it's sting. You just won't be cast out of the family. And if you really belong to Him, you're not going to want to do the crazy things much anyway.

Doesn't that kind of strong love give you great confidence?

Knowing God loves and sticks with you forever also gives...

2. Endless Assurance

This is something you can run to every time you mess up and the devil tells you, “God won't love you anymore. How could He after you did such a sinful thing?”

You can respond with, “Jesus paid it all. Get lost, devil!”

That sounds pretty bold, doesn't it?

We are creatures of emotion, whether we like it or not. We need some kind of rock to stand on when the winds blow wildly and the waves of circumstance come crashing down around us. We find that in the assurance that God really does love us, no matter what.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:24

Not only does God love us, He also gives us...

3. Incredible Power.

Timothy was a young preacher who was taught by the apostle Paul.

He was a young man. He was timid. He didn't have a lot of experience.

But he did have one thing.

And so do you.

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Power.

God asks us to do a lot of things. He does it so we can become more like Jesus. He asks because He knows our lives will be better if we'll do them.

He also knows we can't.

We're weakened by our sinful desires. It's in our nature from birth. So to help us, God gave us the power to do everything He asks us.

Do you believe that?

Note He didn't say you wouldn't have trouble. Jesus said we would. So He gave you the power to deal with it.

Isn't that awesome?

And if you don't know how to use that power, all you have to do is ask Him. He'll give you everything you need to use it well. Just trust, ask, and do it.

Remember the action hero? What is his most outstanding quality?

Did you say, “He's daring”?

How Grace Makes You Daring

If you've ever been up late at night watching TV, you've seen infomercials on just about every channel.

You can make millions in real estate in no time flat.

You can restore your lost sex drive with a magical pill.

You can get back your lost hair and no one will ever know.

There's one thing that keeps us from buying right away. It's that one thing that makes us hesitate before we whip out our credit card. That one thing is...

Risk.

So what does the marketer do? He does things that take the risk away. He offers you a 60 day money back guarantee with no questions asked. He may even let you try it for 30 days before he gets your money. He may let you spread out your payments so you can have it.

Then you can shrug your shoulders and say, “Well, there's no risk, so why not?”

Grace is a lot like that. Here are 3 ways:

1. Jesus gives us the freedom to be right.

Have you ever felt like you should apologize for being right?

Have you ever felt guilty for speaking the truth?

It's not much fun to be hated for being right. It makes you want to shrink back and hide. It makes you want to lie to keep your friends.

The problem is you don't do anyone any favors by lying.

So go ahead. Speak the truth. But be loving about it. If you didn't care, why would you bother, right?

Jesus did that.

He regularly told the Pharisees the truth. It didn't matter that they didn't want to hear it. But you can bet it made an impact. It either shut their mouths or made them defensive. But Jesus loved them enough to offer them a chance to embrace truth.

So don't be afraid to be right.

2. Jesus gives us the freedom to be wrong.

Let's face it. If this wasn't true, who would have any hope?

It's okay to be wrong.

Sometimes we misunderstand the Scriptures. Can't we still serve God anyway? Of course. That's where the power comes in.

We don't have to understand everything for God to love us. All we really need to get right is the Gospel.

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:24

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

As we walk through life with Jesus, He will teach us. You may be broken, bruised, and battered now. You might be really confused about what it means to follow Him. But don't worry. Trust Him. Read His Word. Ask for guidance. Then, step by step, little by little, you'll become more and more like Him.

Ultimately, we won't experience the perfection God promised in Christ until we get to Heaven. Then the shackles of sin will be gone. Life is the road we take to get there. Think of it as preparation for something really great.

And think of the preparation as a taste of things to come.

Now that you know you can be right and wrong and it's okay, doesn't that take away the risk of being bold?

Since Jesus paid it all, past, present, and future, you're free to be bold. If all sins doesn't include even the ones you haven't committed yet, you should be afraid.

So be bold then.

What Should I Do With This Boldness?

The next time you feel afraid, remember that God didn't give you a spirit of fear. Ask yourself, “How would I handle this if I was bold?” Then do it. The power is there. God gave it to you. Won't you use it?

Here are some other practical ways you can use your power.

Make a better world.

God gave you a job. Is there a way you can do it better? Is there a cause you're interested in? Give it your all. Invest your talents so others can live better. Not only will they be rewarded, you will too.

Depend on God's power to obey His commands.

The 10 commandments are a pretty good summary of how to have a great life. If you want to do more than scratch the surface of what they require, let God work through you as you obey. Ask Him to give you a heart to do it. Then use the power He gave you.

Love others well.

It takes strength to love some folks. When people complain, they don't open the door to affection. Surprise them by offering them unconditional love. That's what God did for you.

Do you see someone hurting? Offer an ear. If you can lend a hand, do it. Let that person know the love of Jesus by being with you.

There are countless other ways you can be as bold as a grace-soaked sinner. We only dealt with a few here. So don't let your doubts hold you back. Cling to the truth.

God has taken all the risk away. Now go and be all He made you to be. It'll make all the difference in your life!

Chapter Eleven

The Grace Soaked Sinner's Guide to the Daily Grind

I've been conducting an experiment on Fridays for the past few years.

When I had contact with customers every day, I'd ask them on Friday, “Are you ready for the weekend?”

That question would rouse the sleepiest, most bored employee every time.

And believe or not, nobody ever said, “No.”

There are at least 2 things at work here.

First, no matter how much you love your job, you feel you need a break at some point.

Second, if you hate your job, you live for the weekend.

Is Work a Curse or a Blessing?

How you see work depends on your experience with it.

If you like to be productive, you might work all the time. It doesn't matter if you're at your job or at home. If there's something to be done, you're on it. You find your value in what you've accomplished, and that feels good. To you, work is a blessing.

Or maybe you see work as a disagreeable necessity. You go to a job because if you don't, you can't have stuff. So you drag your carcass to a workplace, do what you must to get paid, and count the minutes until you get to go back home. The next day you follow the same ritual. You're no happier. You're no more effective than the day before. But you get to keep your stuff, so you're moderately happy. The bottom line is that to you, work is a curse.

Generally it follows then that if you like what you do, you tend to see work as a blessing. But if work has all the thrill of pushing a wheelbarrow of rocks uphill in a sandstorm, you probably see your work as a curse.

Remember though, you do have a choice. You can work where you choose. If you don't like what you're doing, then you can do something else. You can learn, grow, and change. In fact, even if you love what you do, you can still learn, grow, and change. After all, isn't that what the world requires?

I was once in a career that came to an end. I knew it was coming and did the best I could at the time to prepare for being unemployed. While it helps to know what you might want to do, I found myself at a bit of a loss. So I tried some things I hadn't done before to put food on the table. It was an interesting set of experiences that have shaped who I am today. So rather than let a rocky road be a pathway to despair, God used it to make me better.

Bless Me Please

Open the first chapter of the Bible and what do you see?

God is working.

Maybe you hadn't thought much about that. The seven days of creation were indeed work. You might look at this and say, “Well, maybe it was work, but it was easy for God.”

The Bible doesn't say. It just states the facts. God made the animals. God made the plants. Then He put a man in the middle of all that. And when He was done, He rested.

It isn't written like a lot of stories that reflect our lives. God didn't moan and complain when He didn't get His way. He didn't whine about how unfair His working conditions were or that He wasn't paid enough. He didn't cut corners so He could meet His objectives.

He just did the work for the love of it.

And if you're alive and breathing, enjoying the beauty of creation, I'll bet you're glad He took the time, right?

Now I don't want to minimize the fact that with work comes hardship and challenge. After all, sin made it that way, didn't it? But if it's hard, isn't that an opportunity to make improvements to the way it's done?

We reflect the character of God when we work. He set the standard in the first pages of Scripture. He worked when He created. He gave the first man and woman a garden to take care of. So He expects us to work, too.

Now let's take a look at some ways that work is a blessing.

7 Ways That Work Blesses You

Work doesn't have to be a grind. God didn't design it to be that way. When you take a challenge and turn it into punishment, though, it does grind away at you.

Seeing work as a blessing honors the natural desire God gave us to get things done. That mindset not only makes any work a better experience, it helps you to perform a lot better, doesn't it?

1. You honor God when you work hard.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, Colossians 3:23

We said before that God wants you to work. We also said that we want to get things done because God gave us that desire. So what naturally flows from that is an attitude of hard work.

What does hard work mean to you?

Here's one way to look at it.

Video game arcades were popular when I was young. I'd save my quarters for the opportunity to shoot down alien spaceships with the frantic repeated push of a colorful round button. And when I hit one, I felt empowered to hit another, and another, and another.

Imagine having that approach at attacking your to-do list.

A to-do list is like having goals for the day. Your mission? To take shots at every item on that list until it is totally obliterated. You're like a warrior on the prowl. Go after it like a dog after a bone!

You get the picture, don't you?

The key here is that you always have the power to choose your attitude.

You can go into your work with the intention of doing whatever it takes to get it done. With that attitude, you might be amazed at what you accomplish. You'll rally others to help you out because we all admire people who are on the move. And you'll probably have a lot more fun doing it.

Or you can spend a lot of energy wishing you didn't have to do any of it. When you do that, you probably won't finish your list. You'll alienate others with your anger, griping, and apathy. And you definitely won't have any fun. People will avoid you just so that poison doesn't brush off on them.

Which choice will you make?

Honor God by working hard.

2. Work provides for your needs.

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 2 Thessalonians 3:10

Let me draw your attention to something.

Did you notice the phrasing in the second sentence of that verse?

If anyone is not willing to work...

I was involuntarily unemployed for a season a few years ago. It wasn't that I wasn't willing to work. I just hadn't connected to the right opportunity.

And for a while it seemed, there wasn't any opportunity.

So for a while, just to do something, I worked in an auto parts store. Now I'm not that mechanically inclined. I'm kind of like Zig Ziglar when he said, “I had a mechanical bypass.” So if I need something fixed and I can't figure it out on my own, I am well-advised to bring in help.

You'd be amazed at just how many different auto parts you can fit into a small store.

While I didn't make a fortune doing that, I did take the opportunity to learn. The owner was a longtime businessman who took some time to teach me the trade. And he never treated me like I was an idiot when I didn't know something.

You can make something good of any experience if you're willing.

That being said, work does provide the resources that allow you to eat. Charles Spurgeon said that God feeds the sparrows, but He doesn't put the food on a platter. They have to go out and get the food God provides. When God gave the Israelites manna in the desert, they had to go outside and gather it.

God loves you enough to feed you. He also demonstrates love by giving you the ability to get that food with your talents.

Isn't that a blessing?

3. Work allows you to use your God-given talents.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Do you remember having talent shows in high school?

My brother's high school had one that lasted several hours. There were hundreds of students there. I can't remember how many people entered but it was enough for the event to last 2-3 hours. There was music, music, and more music.

People just love an opportunity to show others what they can do. And when they do something particularly well, it can feel heavenly to hear loud applause that goes on and on!

I've given speeches in Toastmasters over the years. The best ones were always helpful, entertaining, and motivational. My talent would be measured by the volume of the applause, the amount of eye contact I got, and how many smiles shined across the room.

And of course, if I got the best speech award for the day, that was nice, too!

God gave you some talent. Work gives you the opportunity to use and develop it. Think of it as an artist's canvas. Is every day at work a brush stroke on your masterpiece?

It can be.

4. Work gives you the chance to be generous.

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

What you do for a living brings you money.

First, you use what you make to meet your own needs. You put food on the table. You buy gas to get to work, school, and appointments. You spend money so you can have a place to live that provides comfort, shelter, and entertainment.

If you make enough, you probably have some left over, don't you?

Once you've met your own needs, use some to help others.

We are created to live in community. Whether it's church, school, or a workplace, we all have people we regularly associate with. When one of them celebrates a victory, don't you celebrate with her? When someone experiences pain, don't you hurt too?

If someone has been nice to you, don't you feel a sense of obligation to help when she needs it? Of course you do. And don't you feel grateful when someone else helps you in time of need?

It all boils down to how we're made. We've been given talents to make a difference in the world. When we use them well, we have more opportunities to be generous. It can be with money, time, or talent. Generosity does cost us something, but it doesn't have to be confined to dollars and cents. It can be lending a hand when someone moves. Maybe you take time to visit someone who's in the hospital. Or you attend your friend's mother's funeral, even if you didn't know her that well.

Being generous not only blesses those who receive, it also blesses those who give.

5. Work allows you to serve others.

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8

We talked about using your talents to make a difference.

We covered being generous.

We do all that to serve people.

Have you ever wanted a bigger reason to work? Serving others is that reason that is bigger than yourself to do just about anything.

It all starts at home. If you have a family, don't you feel it's your duty to provide for them?

The business world offers an interesting model on the idea of serving others. If you want to meet your own needs, you have to serve others. If you successfully serve enough of them, your needs will be met. If you serve even more, you can be generous.

Jesus served us with His life. He loved, taught, and ministered to the people in His life. He provided you with what you need to be right with God forever. And He not only did that for you, He did it for every believer in all ages.

So go do like Jesus did. Serve others. Do it with gladness. Do it with sacrifice. Do it with the best interests of the other person in mind. Then you'll both be blessed.

6. Work allows you to be creative.

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

When God made everything, we call that creation. It's where we get the word “creativity”.

For me, a book is a work of creation. First, I get an idea. Then I nurture it by exploring the possibilities the idea presents. I look at it from every angle I can imagine. Then after a few days of that, I have enough raw material to form a book. Then the writing, editing, and polishing begins. After weeks of hard work, the book emerges. It serves others when I offer it to the public.

You are creative too. Maybe you're not a writer, but you do create something. It might be a shed you built behind your house. It could be the decorating you did in your home. Or it may be the way you listen carefully to every customer at work.

Whatever it is, do it to the glory of God.

7. Work provides a pathway to satisfaction.

You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Psalm 128:2

There's nothing sweeter than the feeling you get when you've finished something big.

I owned a retail store a few years ago. We had a significant challenge to overcome. I wanted to be out of debt and in good financial shape by the first of the year. It was November. I had to budget carefully. I also needed to buy enough of the right merchandise to meet my sales goals. I had to schedule enough help and inspire them to help me make it happen. We all worked really hard to serve our customers, keep the merchandise displayed, and keep the store presentable in the midst of it all.

When Christmas came, we had met every goal we set!

That feeling of satisfaction was one of the best I've ever experienced.

There is a real joy that comes from getting work done. There is deep satisfaction in knowing you've made a difference in other people's lives. When we work hard and use our talents to the full, it's better than any artificial high out there.

Be the Blessing

Work really is a blessing.

It's a blessing because it allow us to use our God-given talents for His glory. While work is hard sometimes, it doesn't have to feel like a curse. Grace gives us the freedom to find the place where our talents can be used best.

Work is a blessing because it not only meets our needs, it can allow us to be generous. Nothing satisfies like helping someone else.

And finally, work is a blessing because it allows us to make a difference in the world. Jesus died so you could live. Won't you use your life to make much of Him by doing great work?

There's no better “daily grind” for a grace-soaked sinner.

Chapter Twelve

Come As You Are – The Grace Soaked Sinner's Call to Worship

We all worship something.

Maybe for you it's your work.

You take a lot of pride in what you do. After all, you're pretty good at it. You've led the pack in every sales contest. Your customers love you. Your coworkers and bosses sing your praises. You graduated with honors and you keep on earning them by changing the world for the better.

Or maybe you are more centered on your family.

Your kids are great. They always make the Honor Roll without fail. They excel in sports. To celebrate, you share lots of pictures of them on Facebook. Your dearest friends celebrate with you by liking your photos and raving about them.

Perhaps you invest your life in your hobby.

You love to play guitar. So you invest every spare minute practicing. You learn 3 new songs every week. In fact, often you can pick the tune of a song just by hearing it. You're really a hit at parties. In fact, all you have to do is show up with your guitar and you draw a crowd.

You might tell yourself, “I don't do any of that. I know some obsessive people when it comes to work, their family, or their hobbies. But that isn't me.”

Oh?

Well, all you have to do to see what you worship is to find out what makes you happy. Is it when something goes your way? That's a pretty good clue.

Here's another.

When something you were hoping for with all your heart doesn't work out, how does it affect you? Are you devastated? Do you want to give up on conventional life and become a hermit? Or do you just brush it off and vow to do something else instead?

Whether your reaction is strong as a tornado or weak as a light breeze, it's because something you worship has let you down that you react at all.

We Do It All the Time

We were made to worship. It's in our nature to admire and set our hope in something. That's why we just can't help but do it all the time.

When failure comes, what do your friends say?

“You can try again.”

“There's always tomorrow.”

“This doesn't mean that life is over.”

We worship because we are wired to hope.

We worship because we desperately seek a reason to live. We yearn to know we have a purpose for being alive. That's why there is so much literature about finding your calling these days. We all sense something is missing that could make our lives better.

Without hope, we drift around in despair. And even then, we seek things that will give us hope in the midst of that.

I have a relative that is a hardcore alcoholic. He doesn't have much to show for all his years of living. He has wasted everything he has ever earned on things that will give him an eternal buzz.

But if you've ever been drunk or know someone who has been, you know the buzz wears off.

So in order to keep it going, the alcoholic has to keep drinking. For him it's a ray of hope in an incredibly dark world. Since reality hasn't given him what he wants, he escapes into a fantasy world by drowning in drink.

It's all because we are wired to worship something all the time.

What We Worship Runs Our Lives

Our desire to worship is so powerful that whatever we choose to worship runs our lives.

If you worship your work, you feel good when you're successful. But if you have a string of bad days that threaten to ruin your stellar reputation, your foundation will be cracked.

If a layoff notice or a plant closure comes without warning, you feel lost and alone.

The family worshiper finds joy in her kids' successes. But if one of them should get into trouble, the doting parent will come to the rescue. She will go on the warpath to stand up for her poor, innocent, wounded child. It doesn't matter if what the kid did was right or wrong. Mom just feels so insulted that anyone would question her child's goodness that she comes unglued.

The person who worships his hobby feels good when he's free to indulge in it for hours on end. But should another activity interfere with it for long enough, he gets irritated. He'll start making sarcastic comments to those around him. He'll turn down social invitations so he can stay home and spend time with his guitar. He'll work, but only so he can afford another accessory or a coveted guitar he has his eye on.

Since we worship something all the time, it's really hard to be happy when life interferes with our pleasure.

What Do You Worship?

John Calvin said that our minds are idol factories. We are always looking for something to satisfy the longing within.

Do you know what it is that you chase in the hope it will bring you everlasting joy?

If you don't, ask yourself these questions:

What is it that, when I have it, brings me the most satisfaction?

How would I feel if it was suddenly taken away?

What would I be willing to do to get it back?

When you take the time to do this, you will learn a lot about yourself.

So, am I saying you shouldn't consider work, family, and hobbies important?

Not at all.

Here's a way you can look at it. If you'll think about it, and take it to heart, it'll change your life.

Ready?

The key to proper worship is to keep good things from becoming ultimate things.

Okay. So what does that mean, anyway?

The Only Thing That Can Really Fill Your Heart

I'm currently reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The foundation of the book is that you are happiest and most fulfilled when you base your life on solid principles.

The key here is that principles do not change. If it rains and you run out of food, stealing is still wrong. When it's sunny and you're incredibly lonely, adultery is still wrong. Years can pass and no matter what society thinks, the truth remains the truth.

Principles are great when they're solid. But honestly, they aren't enough.

What they do is point to a greater foundation. They point to a Rock you can turn to when the temptation to shoot your annoying neighbor is so great you could scream. It's the reason anyone is moral at all, even if no one cares.

That foundation is God Himself.

It's God who gave us the moral law. He did it because He loves us and doesn't want us to wreck our lives doing hurtful things. He is deeply concerned with our joy, so He went to great lengths to help us have it.

He also made the ultimate sacrifice so that all your lawbreaking doesn't define you forever.

When Jesus lived and died for you, He took some things away. He took away your sin, which alienated you from Him. He also took away your guilt, so you don't have to run and hide from Him. And He took away your brokenness, so you can finally be made whole.

Jesus also gave you some things by living and dying as a man. He gave you life forever, so you don't have to be afraid of death. He gave you His righteousness, so you could live freely and grow deeply. And He gave you a home in heaven to live in endless peace, joy, and freedom with Him.

God Doesn't Want Competition

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.  Exodus 20:4-6

Why does the Bible describe God as jealous here?

What image does the word jealousy bring to mind?

I'll bet you don't see a smile, hear a soft, tender voice, or feel the warmth of love.

Jealousy is aroused when you are threatened with losing something precious to you.

You might get jealous when someone else gets something you really wanted.

You could feel jealous when someone is happier than you are, is better looking, or has more friends and social influence than you. When you and I experience jealousy, it's usually because we are worried about losing something. It's all about looking out for ourselves. When we don't get what we want, we feel life isn't fair. That feeling of resentment is often jealousy.

God's jealous is a lot different.

When God is called jealous, it's centered on you and me.

It's not that He's afraid He'll lose us. He is jealous because He doesn't want us to trade the biggest joy we can experience for a cheap substitute.

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” John 4:13-15

Remember the conversation that Jesus had with the Samaritan woman in John 4? Jesus used a common, ordinary need we all have and drew an analogy. We all get thirsty physically, so we drink water. We all get thirsty spiritually as well, so God offers us Jesus to quench that thirst.

Notice it's not about being obedient. Obedience doesn't bring lasting satisfaction. Sure, it's healthy. And yes, you absolutely should be obedient to God. But that is putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

If you really want to obey God with any regularity, you have to want to do it.

Where do you get that desire?

God gives it to you.

What does it mean when God gives us Himself in Christ?

It's not a magic pill. It's not 3 steps to success. It's a relationship.

God isn't a system you follow to get what you want. He is a Person – one that wants you to get to know Him so you can see just how much He loves you. He wants you to see that living in His love brings freedom, joy, and ultimate satisfaction.

Just like those principles we mentioned before, God never changes. You can depend on Him to stay around when your spouse leaves you through death or divorce. You can believe that God's law is good and beneficial even when your coworkers lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead. You can find your joy in God even when everything in your life seems so good that you feel you don't need Him.

The point is that everything in your life that is good points to Jesus. He is the Giver of all those blessings you enjoy, isn't He? So why not go to the Source and find your joy there? Remember, circumstances can change in a moment. Jesus remains the same every moment.

God doesn't want competition. He wants your full loyalty and devotion. That's because He knows you'll find lasting satisfaction only in Him, not in those surface things we substitute for Him. So, if there was any reason for anyone to be jealous, can you think of a better one?

The Discipline of Worship

So how do you win the battle for your heart? How do you constantly remind yourself that God should be at the center of your life?

There are some disciplines you can practice to condition your mind to remember to put God first.

1. Start your day spending time with God.

The first thing you do everyday sets the course for the rest of your day.

What do you do when the alarm goes off in the morning? Do you have to set it an hour early because you know you'll hit the snooze button half a dozen times? Or are you that odd person who leaps out of bed when the opportunity clock sounds?

Start your day with God. Read a passage of Scripture. Spend some time in prayer. Offer God praise. Pray for your friends. Sing if you can. You'll find it will prepare you for whatever comes ahead better than anything else you could try.

2. Pray early and often.

God wants a relationship with you.

What do you do with your best friends? You talk to them. You share your heart with them. You tell them your secrets.

Jesus is your friend. In fact, He's a better friend than your closest relative. He won't stab you in the back. He won't be offended by your careless remarks. If you belong to Him, you can be totally honest. Since you have nothing to lose, why don't you behave around Him like you would around your closest companions?

It's great to have a scheduled time for prayer. But if you feel led in the middle of the afternoon to offer up a sentence prayer, why shouldn't you go ahead?

3. Regularly remind yourself of the Gospel.

You never outgrow the good news of grace.

You should tell yourself every day that God has forgiven your sins and paid your debt to Him in full.

You should remind yourself every day that God loves you and is on your side.

You should always be ready to share this good news with anyone who needs to hear it.

Do this often enough and the idols of your heart won't gain the upper hand so much.

Your Reward

Do you want to be full of joy that knows no bounds?

Discipline yourself to worship God every day.

Do you want to be free from guilt and the shackles of sin?

Thank God daily for taking away your sins and remembering them no more.

Do you want to be like a house built on a firm foundation?

Give your heart fully to worshiping your Creator and your King.

Do this and you'll have more lasting satisfaction than you ever thought you could.

What better Center could a grace-soaked sinner have?

Do Me a Favor

You've reached the end of this book.

Hopefully, you've learned something valuable about how great God's grace is for you in every area of your life.

And when you forget, feel free to come back to the appropriate chapter for a refresher.

If this book has been helpful for you, please tell your friends.

If it's made a significant difference for you, please take a few minutes and leave a review on Amazon.

I'll be thankful.

Others will benefit.

And you'll do your part to make a better life for someone else.

Going Deeper – Questions for Discussion and Reflection

Chapter 1 – The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Self-Esteem Makeover

1. Have you ever used positive affirmations of any kind to pep you up to face the day? How long did they work? Did they leave you feeling empty? How can use more Biblical affirmations to lead you to believe the truth about yourself as a child of God?

2. What lies have you believed about yourself? What caused you to believe them? How can you replace those lies with the truth?

3. How does the Gospel provide you hope while you struggle with sin and doubt?

4. How does knowing you're not good enough for God free you to live as a child of God? How does that point to the reality of what Jesus did in your own life?

5. What can you do to remind yourself of the Gospel everyday? How can you train yourself to trust God's truth instead of how you might feel about it any given moment?

Chapter 2 – Grace-Soaked Sins are Remembered No More

1. Have you ever gotten so frustrated with obeying the rules that you just gave up? Have you engaged in selective obedience? How did it affect your tendency to obey (or not to obey)?

2. How have you faked having it together in front of your Christian (and non Christian) friends?  Why do you think you might feel the need to impress others with your obedience?

3. What ways do you rationalize your behavior before God and others? How do you convince yourself that what you're doing is not so bad?

4. Does your failure to obey lead you to despair and hopelessness? How does Jesus' death and resurrection speak to that kind of thinking? What freedom does it bring into your life?

5. How does the finished work of Christ motivate you to obey? In what ways does it change your sense of duty to one that is motivated by love and gratitude?

Chapter 3 – How Our Secrets Keep Us From Being Soaked in Grace

1. What secrets have you kept that you felt would ruin you if they were exposed? What do you do to protect your secrets from getting out?

2. How do you act in public to pretend your secrets aren't real? What makes you feel like you need to do that?

3. How has the Gospel helped you deal with the shame in your life? How can you find relief in Jesus' finished work?

4. How can you create an environment in your church or home where everyone can be honest? In what ways can you show grace to others who struggle just like you do?

5. Do you have one or two trusted friends who can help you work through your shame and pain? If needed, are you willing to talk with a counselor? How can you help someone else work through her own shame?

Chapter 4 – The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Guide to Messy Relationships

1. How do you deal with self-righteous people? Do you recognize those same traits in your life where they exist? How can you extend grace to Pharisees?

2. In what ways does self-righteousness close the door to your relationship with Christ?

3. Do you find yourself attracted to people you like first? How can you extend grace to the people who aren't “beautiful”?

4. How does recognizing that you're like the tax collector free you to deal with the messy relationships in your life?

5. How does the Gospel free you from trying to fix everyone else? How does the Gospel free you to pray for people instead of condemning and judging them?

Chapter 5 – The Beauty of a Grace-Soaked Sinner's Prayer

1. What do you find yourself praying the most for? What occasions or emotions lead you to pray when you do?

2. Which of the struggles listed in this chapter plagues you the most? Do you feel guilty because you don't pray enough? Do you only pray when you need something? Do you let your emotions drive whether you pray or not?

3. How have you seen God answer your prayers? Did He always do what was best for you? Were you surprised by His answer? Have you felt resentful that He doesn't always give you everything you want?

4. Has knowing that God loves you unconditionally made a difference in your prayer life? If so, how specifically? If not, in what ways do you think it might make an impact?

5. How has knowing God is all loving and all powerful affected what you ask Him to do? Does it lead you to be bold in prayer? In what ways does this affect your expectation of what God might do?

Chapter 6 – Shake Off Your Guilty Fears Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

1. Which of the two types of guilt do you suffer from most? Do you feel more guilt from doing things wrong or is your guilt more vague and unexplainable? How has that affected the way you live?

2. Have you tried to fix your guilty feelings yourself? What have you used to dull the pain and mask the guilt? What distractions do you use to bury your shame?

3. What does it mean to you that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus? Do you live as though you really believe that? Or do you try to fool God and yourself by pretending everything is all right?

4. Do you believe that God uses your guilt to drive you to the cross? How can that free you to be honest with God and the people around you?

5. How does being relieved of the weight of your guilt free you to love others unconditionally? Have others loved you in that way? What difference did it make?

Chapter 7 – How to Deal With Pain Like a Grace-Soaked Sinner

1. How do you feel when pain invades your life? Do you feel like God is punishing you? Or do you see it as part of His plan to make you more like Jesus? How does what you believe affect how you deal with your pain?

2. How does the allure of relief tempt you when you feel like dying? Have you tried a quick fix when a longer road to healing was better? Did it lead you to hope or despair?

3. How has the pain of your own bad decisions affected your relationship with God? Has it brought you closer or put up a wall? How can see that God uses pain for your good?

4. Does knowing God doesn't like pain either made your pain easier to bear? Does knowing that a loving God won't waste pain in your life make you feel differently about it? How specifically?

5. How can you trust God to be good and gracious in the middle of your own or someone else's pain?

Chapter 8 – The Hope and Expectation of the Grace-Soaked Sinner

1. Have you ever felt that since God is loving, He wants you to healthy, wealthy, and wise? Have you ever carried that too far? Did you dismiss the idea of God as Santa Claus as a bunch of nonsense? How can you have a more balanced view?

2. Did you ever feel like God was out to get you? How has that affected your view of Him as loving? How has it robbed you of the joy He promised?

3. What do you expect from God? Did you get those ideas from the Bible or from what others told you? Has your experience colored what you expect from God? How?

4. How has God kept His promises to you? Do you trust Him to keep all His promises or do you have your doubts? What can you do to develop realistic expectations? What verses can you memorize to help with this?

5. How can you trust God when you don't know specifically what His plans are for you? Does your belief in Him lead you to take risks or does it drive you to play it safe? Why? Do you really believe you can't thwart His plans for you no matter what you do?

Chapter 9 – The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Freedom to Obey

1. How does your natural desire to do your own thing affect your desire to obey God?

2. Does the promise of pleasure lead you to indulge in sin? How has that kept you from obeying with any consistency?

3. How have you obsessed over your own obedience? Does pride lead you to think that you deserve God's love? What happens when sin breaks your perfect record?

4. Have you ever given up because you just can't do it anymore? How can God's love for you change your attitude about the relevance of His law in your life?

5. Do you see obedience as an act of worship? Do you sense an obligation to obey a God who loved you enough to die for you? How does this free you to obey because you want to, not because you have to anymore?

Chapter 10 – Fear Not: How Grace-Soaked Sinners Become Bold

1. In what ways has fear crippled you? What have you done to avoid what scares you?

2. Have you been lied to about what it means to be “meek and mild”? How has that affected your relationship with others? How has it shaped your view of taking risks?

3. What does it mean to you to be a bold Christian? How does the boldness of others inspire you? How does boldness make you more confident?

4. Do you have the endless assurance that God will always be with you wherever you go? How does that affect what you'll do today and tomorrow?

5. How does knowing Jesus paid it all keep you from worrying so much about being wrong? How does knowing it's okay to be right empower you to stand up for the truth?

Chapter 11 – The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Guide to the Daily Grind

1. Do you see work as a curse or a blessing? Why? How does that influence the way you do your work?

2. How can you see your work as creating something? In what way specifically does that satisfy your need to find purpose in life?

3. How has work allowed you to be generous? What are some ways you could more generous than you are now? What adjustments could you make to allow you to help others?

4. Are you able to use your God-given talents at work? How has that made a difference? Is there a way you could use more of your gifts in your work?

5. Do you believe your work is an opportunity to bless others? If it doesn't, how can you change it? What can you do to be a blessing to the people you serve?

Chapter 12 – Come as You Are – The Grace-Soaked Sinner's Call to Worship

1. What do you think about most? How does it run your life?

2. How does your need for hope drive you to fill that hole in your heart? What things do you chase to fill the longing for satisfaction you constantly experience?

3. What would you do if the thing you cherished most in this world was suddenly taken away? How would that affect how you feel about God?

4. What do you think of when you hear that God is jealous? How does your definition of jealousy influence your view of God's jealous love?

5. How do your longings point to the greater satisfaction that you can only find in Jesus? What makes you feel that other things are better? How have you been disappointed by the gods you worship?

About the Author

Frank McKinley has been a writer since he could pick up a pen.

As a child, he designed a magazine on construction paper. It had articles, comics, and even commercials!

In high school, he won first and third place for poetry in the school's Fine Arts Festival.

For the past 3 years, he has provided leadership articles for the entire staff at his employer.

He is also the author of 10 Steps to Effective Leadership.

He lives in Georgia with his wife, two kids, and a young Labrador Retriever.