How To Engage Your Church Members

by Dag Heward-Mills

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Copyright 2008 Dag Heward-Mills

Published by Dag Heward-Mills on Smashwords.

E mail Dag Heward-Mills

info@daghewardmillsbooks.org

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Unless otherwise stated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible

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Contents

Chapter 1 -The Importance of Interaction for Every Church

Chapter 2 - How to Interact with People

Chapter 3 - Eight Ways You Can Make People Feel Special

Chapter 4 - How to Encourage Interaction between Church Members

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Chapter 1

The Importance of Interaction for Every Church

Interaction is an important part of ministry where the pastor makes personal contact with the people and establishes an important connection between himself and the congregation.

He engages in informal discussions and establishes personal relationships with all sorts of people. Interaction is a key “outside-the-pulpit” ministry that must be fully developed in order to achieve church growth.

Eight Reasons Why Interaction Is Important for Every Church

1. Interaction makes people stay in the church.

Dear pastor do not forget this! People may

join the church for various reasons. However, people stay in a church because of the people they know and the friends they make! This is what I call church cement. If you want your church to grow, interact with the members and encourage them to interact with one another!

2. Interaction makes people feel important.

Every soul is important! In fact, every hair on the head of every soul is important. When the Lord told us that He was numbering the hairs on our heads, He was telling us that we are very important to Him. It is essential for people to feel that they are important. Personal interaction is the key to making people feel important.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered…

Luke 12:7

3. Interaction makes people feel that they are not just a number or a statistic.

Jesus said He had not lost any of the sheep the Father had given Him. Everyone is important to God! Not even one person must be lost! No one is just a number; no one must be treated as a mere statistic. Interaction is the key to ensuring this.

4. Interaction makes people feel that they are not objects being used to make the pastor famous.

In the multitude of people is the king’s honour: but in the want of people is the destruction of the prince.

Proverbs 14:28

People know that where there are large crowds, the pastor (king), is honoured. Sometimes the people feel that they are being used to make the pastor famous. Personal interaction will prevent church members from thinking in that way.

5. Interaction is important because personal contact changes wrong impressions!

The queen of Sheba had a wrong impression about who Solomon was. However, after having a personal interaction with him, she changed her mind. She was so impressed with king Solomon. She said, “You are better and greater than I thought you were.”

And she said to the king, It was a true report which I heard in mine own land of thine acts and of thine wisdom: Howbeit I believe not their words until I came, and mine eyes have seen it: And, behold, the one half of the greatness of thy wisdom was not told me: FOR THOU EXCEEDEST THE FAME THAT I HEARD.

2 Chronicles 9:5, 6

I have had several people telling me about the negative impressions they had about me before they knew me personally. Some people could not believe that I was so different from what I was portrayed to be. Interaction kills wrong impressions very quickly indeed!

6. Interaction is important because personal contact helps people to become more committed.

Perhaps you have tried to get certain people committed to your church by preaching hard from the pulpit.

Personal interaction with them may be the key that will turn them into committed members.

When Jesus interacted with Nathanael on the beach it resulted in a life commitment. Notice Jesus’ personal interaction with Nathanael and how it made him a committed disciple.

Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile! Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee. Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel.

John 1:47-49

7. Interaction is important because Jesus interacted.

Jesus is our great example setter. We can best learn about ministry by following His example. I want to do what Jesus did. I want to be more like Jesus.

Now as HE WALKED BY THE SEA OF GALILEE, HE SAW SIMON AND ANDREW his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And JESUS SAID UNTO THEM, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.

Mark 1:16,17

8. Interaction makes people feel special.

Everyone wants to stay around someone who makes him or her feel special. Nobody wants to be a number or a statistic. Make your people feel special and they will stick to you like superglue!

Chapter 2

How to Interact with People

1. Make a conscious decision to interact with people you do not know.

It is not easy to talk to total strangers. We naturally gravitate towards things we know. In every man is the fear of the unknown. This makes us reserved and overly cautious. Break out and allow the rivers of living waters that are in you to bless humanity.

2. Decide to do deep-sea fishing.

Deep-sea fishing involves going into the midst of the large crowd and interacting with total strangers. You can do it!

Decide to talk to five total strangers every Sunday. All pastors and leaders must be involved in talking to total strangers after each service. This will lead to the church growth we have been praying for.

3. Show a genuine interest in the people who come to church.

Do not look like an official of the church who is just doing a duty. Do away with fake smiles and decide to be genuinely interested in the people.

4. Have a friendly smiling face.

A man that hath friends must show himself friendly…

Proverbs 18:24

Practise smiling in front of your mirror. Some people have naturally stern faces; these ones need to practise smiling the most.

5. Kill the spirit of hypocrisy by interacting with all kinds of people.

Hypocrisy leaves a nasty taste in the mouths of everyone. Avoid it at all costs! Do not only ask for the names of wealthy looking people.

Be genuinely interested in people who look poor and uneducated. Jesus interacted with every kind of person. He spoke to tax collectors, pharisees, centurions, fishermen, blind men, mothers, noblemen and even the dead!

My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment;

And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?

James 2:1-4

6. Ask the seven basic interaction questions:

- Ask people what their names are.

- Ask where they live.

- Ask people where they work.

- Ask people where they attend school.

- Ask people whether they are married or getting married soon.

- Ask people whether they are committed to the church.

- Ask if you could be their friend.

Chapter 3

Eight Ways You Can Make People Feel Special

1. You can make people feel special by calling them by their names.

When you call people by their names they feel special. They think to themselves, “The pastor knows me. I am one of the few people whose names he remembers. I must be one of the special few.”

2. You can make people feel special by smiling at them and looking at them in the eye.

Some faces are “smile-less”. Some people naturally have a serious disposition. This serious look can be misread to be unfriendliness. If you are one such person, I repeat that you must practise smiling in front of your mirror. I had to do that! Ask your colleagues to help you to remember to smile. I asked my wife to help me to be friendly and she did!

3. You can make people feel special by being sincere and not exaggerating with them.

When you flatter people, they tend not to take you seriously. At a point, people will think that you are scoffing at them. They may even curse you in their minds.

When you say insincere things, no one will take you seriously anymore. If you want people to believe your compliments, you must learn to say what you mean and mean what you say!

He that saith unto the wicked, Thou art righteous; him shall the people curse…

Proverbs 24:24

4. You can make people feel special by looking for good qualities in them.

Everyone has good and bad qualities. If you want to build a meaningful relationship with anyone you must focus on the good things in the person. As you go along, you may have the opportunity to address real problems. Always remember this: if God were to address all your bad qualities on a daily or hourly basis, you would probably give up! That is why God changes us slowly as the months and years roll by. Be like God and acknowledge peoples’ strong points. There will be a time to address shortcomings.

That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the ACKNOWLEDGING OF EVERY GOOD THING which is in you in Christ Jesus.

Philemon 1:6

This verse does not say that our faith becomes effective as we acknowledge our sins! Our sins are before us everyday. Most people don’t need anyone to remind them of their failures. This verse tells us that our faith becomes effective as we acknowledge good things and not bad things.

5. You can make people feel special by giving general compliments - it makes them feel good.

Say things like this:

I’m always glad to see you.

I always thank God for your life.

You are a real blessing.

General compliments make people happy. People do not know why they are happy when they are complimented! Happiness just wells up within them. But make sure that you do not exaggerate or flatter anyone. Be genuine and you will always be taken seriously.

6. You can make people feel special by complimenting them about specific things; it makes them repeat their good deeds.

For instance, you could compliment people specifically like this:

I’m impressed with the way you come to church early.

I like the way you pray fervently.

You look very smart.

When you compliment people about specific things, they are so happy that they unconsciously decide to repeat that particular action.

7. You can make people feel special by complimenting them in front of others.

When you say nice things about someone in front of other people, it adds more spice to the compliment. No one can buy a special compliment at the supermarket!

When a pastor or church leader gives a compliment to a member, he is doing something that no one else can.

8. You can make people feel special by complimenting them at meetings.

When you compliment people in front of their colleagues, they feel rewarded for their hard work.

The people we are trying hardest to impress are our peers! This is a fact of life. Many people are doing things just because their friends and colleagues are doing them.

By complimenting somebody in front of his peers, you are putting a feather in his cap. Surely, this person will gravitate to you without even knowing why.

Chapter 4

How to Encourage Interaction between Church Members

Interaction between church members is one of the most important keys to church growth. Not only must the pastor interact with the members, but the members must interact with each other.

Six Steps to Encouraging Interaction between Church Members

1. Encourage the congregation to speak to one another in the service!

Do not dismiss the church service without encouraging members to say hello to each other. I often jokingly tell the members to say to each other, “I want to come home with you today for lunch.”

Sometimes I ask them to say to each other, “Are you married? Have you considered marrying me?” This makes everyone laugh but it loosens the atmosphere and encourages interaction.

2. Organize church camps and social events that make church members interact with each other.

Camps are one of the best forums for interaction. People are relaxed and get to know each other in an informal setting.

And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house…

Acts 2:46

3. Encourage church members to marry each other.

Let the church members know that the kind of person they want to marry can be found within the congregation. Once the church members begin to intermarry, you will have more stability in the church.

4. Encourage the church members to employ other church members.

Neither was there any among them that lacked…

Acts 4:34

The relationships within the church become deeper as the interaction goes deeper. Employers and employees sit together under the same pastor.

Every large church has lots of members interrelating and interacting. It is this myriad of relationships that helps to stabilize the congregation!

5. Encourage your church members to support each other in times of celebration and mourning.

Let the church members know that it is their duty to participate in the events of others. You must realize that people will do what you tell them and they will believe what you say. This is a biblical instruction.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

Romans 12:15

6. Encourage the church members to make friends and to invite each other to their homes.

And ALL THAT BELIEVED WERE TOGETHER, and had all things common.

Acts 2:44

Once people have friends in the congregation, they will be glued to the church. Leaving the church becomes a little more complicated. Leaving the church now means leaving all your friends.

Interaction between church members is truly a key to stabilising the congregation and encouraging church growth.

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Other Best-Selling Books by Dag Heward-Mills:

Loyalty and Disloyalty

Leaders and Loyalty

Transform Your Pastoral Ministry

The Art of Leadership

Model Marriage

Church Planting

The Mega Church

Lay People and the Ministry

These titles are also available in Spanish and/or French. Information about other foreign translations of some of the titles above may be obtained by writing to our email address.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

The Importance of Interaction for Every Church

Chapter 2

How to Interact with People

Chapter 3

Eight Ways You Can Make People Feel Special

Chapter 4

How to Encourage Interaction between Church Members